Tales That Toby Tell - 15. Saturday 25th, January 2014

In order for you to fully understand the events of this weekend, I feel that I had to jump in, you know? There are certain events that took place while Toby wasn't around and you definitely want to know about it.

So there I was, minding my own business, It was the Saturday morning after that fun bond-fire night I had with Toby and Josh. My gentleman parts were freezing and it was cold! I have a hotdog clock, the counterpart to Toby's burger clock, and it was telling me it's 6AM. Why am I hearing someone chopping wood so early? I slowly zipped down my tent and there Toby's dad was chopping. What he did next ruined it for me.

"Toby!...Josh and Connor!... Up!" I heard Mr Smythe calling. What the hell did he want? I really thought this was going to be a treat for me since I'll be pretty much homeless after this trip is done. I quickly got dressed and met up with the boys in the middle of camp.

"Finally... He's awake" I heard one of the boys say but I was too asleep to notice who.

"Look I want to sleep-" I was about to say when Toby's dad interrupted me.

"The rain damages the firewood.." he said.

"It rained?!" I said a bit too loud and everybody looked at me in a weird way. "Sorry... continue Mr Smythe." I said.

"Josh and Connor will go look for some wood while Toby and I go uphill to go see who else is here with us. Regina... Oh what the heck." What the heck I'd say! I don't want to go with Josh! Luckily I didn't say that out loud.

So there we were. Walking downhill. Imagine the awkward silence people. The cold weather wasn't helping either. Hell at least this perv wasn't going to mess with me.

"You being a jock, I encourage you to as many as you'd like." I said wickedly. Maybe the cold weather was getting to me?

Josh then got a mini fit "You know I just don't get you. Why are you so miserable? Why can't you be thankful that you have Toby? That you have me who is really trying hard to be your friend? " Who does he think he is?

"Ha... So you do have balls" I hit back at the dumb jock, infuriated he stopped in his tracks.

"You know what Connor? I see right trough you!" What the hell is he talking about? I thought to myself

"Are you hinting at something?" I asked. Shit he scared me.

Josh started walking again before speaking "No but please. Stop being such a pressed idiot." Wow this gay boy knows his queer slang!

"Fine... I'll lay off. So tell me why is it that you are so cool with being a fff... I mean gay?" I asked.

"That's easy. Had you asked me this a few months ago I would say that I just feel okay being me but now it's bigger... better. It's Toby. He makes it all alright. Hell I'll go as far to say that I'm actually glad I'm not straight... I love him Connor."

"I.." I wanted to say something but it got swallowed and for some reason my heart broke. "He is special. Toby deserves special. You'd understand why I'm so...protective" I said. Protective being an understatement. Josh nodded and he didn't even convince me that he is that something special.

"I'm actually glad we got to spek Connor. I've been meaning to tell you something. It might be to soon to tell you this but I just need to tell someone. I'm going to ask Toby to marry me"

Stunned. I didn't say anything for almost a minute. Josh was sitting on a log literally waiting on me to say something so I did. "You can't. Your too young." I said, believing my own words.

"Yes. So I have more time to love him" Damn he's cheesy I thought.

"Well you only know him for about what? Three months?" Pretty sure that's going to put some sense into him.

"Well we have the rest of our lives to get to know each other." Josh said and right then and there I knew I had lost the fight. Or did I?

It was then and there that I decided to reveal the most personal thing about myself, desperate to hold onto something that I didn't want to lose. "You can't ask Toby to marry you because I'm in love with Toby!"my voice echo'd through the woods. A few birds even flew out of nearby trees. Wow I've never said thay out loud, not in front of another person.

I thought about all the things I had done. Singing love songs to Toby while I was alone in my room, writing poems and many letters that I would never give him. Watching romantic movies and imagining Toby and me as the two lovers. I snapped back to reality as I caught a glimse of Josh's face. It went from shocked to sorry. He felt sorry for me? That look ment "Poor guy... Toby doesn't love him back" I hated it! I don't want him feeling bad for me but The truth is, I had lost a long time ago.

"The lake" I said, quickly changing the subject.

"What?" the dumb jock asked me. I'm pretty sure he isn't dumb but he deserves it.

"Absolutely not. This is a Glee sized mess! I really like you Josh but you and Toby are too young. Enjoy what you have as it is. If you decide to go forth with your plans I'm afraid you won't have my blessing. In five years, by all means marry my son and start a family but now you are just being selfish." Adam sounded more worried then angry and Josh picked up the wood he had collected and walked away. I followed soon after.

When we got back Toby was applying cream to his body. The fog had dispersed and the sun miraculously came out. Toby is so gorgeous and yet he refuses to take off his shirt. The nerd boy was sticking his hand up under his vest while rubbing the lotion in. I laughed a little like I do for every cute thing he does, I had wished to see him topless once and I have but not as a fully grown teen, nope. Oh how I miss our pre -teen days. I notice how upset Josh looked. He walked right past Toby and got into his little tent. He remained there till we had dinner later that night. I figured I should talk to Toby.

"So you think we can go skinny dipping in the lake later on?" I knew this was a strench and that got emphasized even more with Toby's terrified look on his face.

" No way! That lake is way too beautiful to swim in." I smiled at Toby, his words reflected how I felt and for a moment I thought it would be okay to kiss him.

"I'm just starting a fire here for breakfast want to help?" Toby asked and I nodded. I smiled too. We knelt and made a fire. Our hands touched a few times and he Joked about how Josh has smelly armpits. Oh how can I forget about Josh's candy craze? Or alien themed bedroom? Even when we're bonding, Josh is still somehow there to make sure I stay in line. This will never work.

I then realised the night before. Josh and I had a great time. Maybe I should give him a chance. I think I'm just envious because of his courageous actions this passed year. I also wondered about Adam, Toby's dad and how long he had been listening to me and Josh. Does he know I'm gay too or did he walk in right after I proclaimed my love for his son? Whatever happens next doesn't matter because I am still, homeless.