Like a Train Wreck - 41. Chapter 41: Just Like Him

Miracle stared at himself in the mirror, fingering the black leather spiked collar around his neck as he eyed his new out fit which consisted of low rise denim jeans and a form fitting V neck black leather vest with criss-crossed chains on the back of it, a bit of skin around his waist revealed, and a pair of black leather boots on his feet and matching spiked leather cuffs on his wrists.

"And now the final touches." Jaemin grinned as he approached with the eyeliner pen.

Miracle's eyes widened and he spun around. "Oh no...you'll poke my eyes out!" He grinned. "I really appreciate the shopping."

"Miracle..." Jaemin grinned and shook his head. "If this were dangerous, they wouldn't make it..and I never poke my eyes out."

"They make a lot of dangerous stuff. You ever watch Final Destination? A doctor could fall and stab themselves with a syringe!"

Jaemin briefly thought back to Miracle's rant about Skylar shooting a syringe at him and he grinned even more, amused. "Look, I'm not doing a half ass job on you. Now hold still." He took the cap off and started to apply the eyeliner.

Miracle nervously flinched half blinks and balled his hands up but soon enough he found Jaemin stepping back. "Was that it?" He sighed out relief.

"Yeah, ya big baby." He grabbed the bottle of purple, silver and black glitter gel. "There, you wanted that."

Miracle caught the bottle. "Yeah and you want God's real name." Miracle grinned and spun around and opened the bottle and applied some of the glitter under his eyes and towards the side and then along the bit of skin revealed between his top and his jeans.

"Stop calling him that."

"God." Miracle screwed the cap back on and threw the bottle at Jaemin. "Lets go!" He ran around him and down the stairs.

Jaemin caught the bottle and threw it on the bed and chased after Miracle. "His name is not God! He committed the hell of all identity thefts!" He paused. "And you helped!" He then heard the front door shut and let out a brief laugh and headed down the stairs.

Jaemin pulled up to what appeared to be an old unkept bar along an old deserted road but he read the directions right and it looked like a party but what he noticed is that they seemed to be the only ones riding car. He looked around at all the motorcycles. "Yeah...he's really God, alright." He looked over at Miracle. "You hooked us up with a motorcycle gang."

Miracle looked around and then over at Jaemin. "And? You can't hang?" He then clapped his hands at Jaemin's face. "Bam! That rhymed!" He opened the door and got out and started weaving through the bikes with Jaemin following as he went inside.

Miracle then froze in his tracks and Jaemin bumped into him. "What?"

His eyes widened. "It's Hells Angels..." Miracle said.

"No way that guy is in with..." Jaemin looked up and then around. "Oh...it is..."

"Hey! You guys made it!" The guy from the library yelled over the music pumping from the speakers as he walked into their line of vision.

"Yeah." Miracle slowly nodded.

"You about ready to bow down and say those prayers?" The man grinned and laughed and then poked Jaemin's shoulder. "So you want my name, right?"

Jaemin shook his head. "You know what? Keep it...we're...well, casinos are more our scene. You know...card tables over pool tables."

"No." Miracle grabbed Jaemin's wrist as he attempted to retreat. "This is perfect." He grinned.

"Okay, Miracle, not a time for dumb ideas. Do you know who they are?" Jaemin asked.

"I'm the one that said who they were first." Miracle rolled his eyes and turned to look at Jaemin. "I know very well who they are, they have a reputation just as big as the mafia and that is the perfect thing about this. Our chance for connections. We could make a war here...find a flaw in that."

"I could make a top one hundreds list...give me an hour." Jaemin said.

"Give the boy a chance." The man wrapped an arm around Miracle's shoulder and patted him on the the chest. "By the way, my name is Damien."

"Oh how nice." Jaemin looked around uncomfortably.

"I think he's got a point. I want to be proactive." Miracle paused and looked between them. "Think about Jessica Simpson for a little while, I know I would!" And then before Jaemin could stop him, he sprinted off towards one of the pool tables.

"Miracle, wait..." Jaemin took a step forward.

Damien grinned as he watched Miracle take off. "Oh, give up, you don't tame that kind."

"He's going to get killed, you jack ass." Jaemin said, angrily.

Miracle approached a group of four big guys at the pool table as they were playing and looked on rather nervous as he eyed each one, contemplating how to approach the situation.

"Uh...I bet my car...that he wins." Miracle pointed at the one man with a bald head and a beard.

"Oh...he just bet your car away." Damien laughed.

Jaemin's eyes widened at what Miracle had done.

"Excuse me?" The bald man leaned up, interrupted as he was just about to take a shot and he looked at Miracle, as did the other three men.

"Well I think you'll win, so my car is in your hands." Miracle smiled and nodded. "I have faith in you."

"You're playing through me." The man said. "So are you expecting my winnings too?" The other guys started laughing. "What do you want?" The man asked.

Miracle shook his head. "No...I don't want your winnings..." He looked around. "Well okay, who wouldn't take someones winnings? We're all humans here! But it's not like I'd just snatch it all off the table..." He looked at the pool table.

The bald man grinned. "How about this..." He dug into his back pocket and laid a single dollar bill on the edge of the table. "You hit a single ball in. Earn a win yourself."

Miracle looked at the dollar and then at the man. "For real? A dollar?"

The man nodded. "Yeah, a dollar." The other men watched on in humor.

Miracle walked closer. "Fine, give me the stick."

The bald man looked at his friends and laughed. "Here's the...stick." He handed it over.

Miracle took it from the man and then looked at the white ball and then he grinned and leaned down and aimed at the white ball and used the stick and knocked the white ball into a pocket. The guys started laughing.

"Why did you do that, little man?" The man started to take his dollar back.

"Oh no." Miracle stood up and placed his fingers on the other half of that dollar. "I hit a ball in, your words. You didn't say which ball."

"He's got you there, Jack." One of the other guys said with a grin. "Should be a lawyer, find all the flaws in those contracts." He laughed.

Jack let go of the dollar and stared at Miracle, seeming amused if only slightly.

"So that was fun." Miracle pulled the dollar up and folded it in half and shoved it into his pocket. "Will buy me a candy bar later. Maybe a three muskateer." He tilted his head to the side. "Are you a three muskateer? A team player? Or maybe an MnM, a lone ranger, one in the hundreds?"

"You are so innocent." Jack said.

Miracle grinned. "Far from it."

"Good, you should know what serves a purpose. Think about it, then come back about whatever it is you truly wanted." Jack then nodded to his friends. "I got a game here."

"I'll do that." He then looked over at Jack's friends. "Watch your words, boys." He grinned and took several steps back before turning and heading towards Damien and Jaemin again.

"Oh hell...he pulled it!" Damien laughed.

"Yeah, no thanks to you." Jaemin shook his head. "So what did he say?" He asked Miracle as soon as he reached them.

"Well I won my trusty George Washington!" Miracle grinned. "Small fortunes." He looked between Jaemin and Damien. "Told me I was innocent, I said far from it, he said something about knowing what serves a purpose, think about it and come back." He shook his head.

"What does that mean?" Jaemin asked.

"I don't know but he said when I figured it out to come back about what I want." Miracle shrugged.

"I'll just go ask." Jaemin said.

"Oh no." Damien shook his head. "When they talk like that, they mean to be cryptic, they want to sound mysterious and wise but really it's easy." He looked over at Miracle. "Translation? You should figure out that you're useful as a crime accomplice. Lure the store clerk out for a quicky behind the store, keep him distracted long enough for the real men to get in and get the money. You could do it...you look innocent enough. Get it?"

Miracle looked at Jaemin and then at Damien. "Well...actually that couldn't be more true."

"Miracle..." Jaemin looked at him with a warning gaze.

"What? He can't prove anything, hell it was a freaking Detective for crying out loud." Miracle looked at Damien. "You promise to keep a secret?"

Damien grinned. "I like secrets."

"I got away with murder, the Detective covered it up for me." Miracle confessed.

Damien started laughing and then he stared at Miracle. "For real?"

"Well we tried to string a half ass self defense but apparently kidnap isn't a good enough reason unless there is no possible way out. So I just ran on some sob dialogue. Didn't hurt that most of what I said was truth...total sympathy sinker." Miracle grinned. "So yeah...could it be done any better?"

Damien slowly nodded. "Now you got something worth selling to them. Make them want you, value you and then as a member, you have their loyalty."

"Wait, join Hells Angels?" Jaemin looked at Damien. "That's insane." He looked at Miracle. "You need to think about this. You don't just join something like them, get a quickie favor and leave. You need to be really grown up about this, Miracle."

"Jaemin? You ever hear that saying kill two birds with one stone?" Miracle paused. "Now I'm the one being cryptic but you know me well enough...Figure it out." He looked over at Damien. "Forget that quote, don't want me to get away with your murder, right?" He said in a seemingly joking manner and walked off.

"Would you just relax? Boy seems to know what he's doing." Damien laughed. "That's why he is just so damn perfect."

Miracle walked over to the pool table and looked around at the pool balls. "Hmm...anyone winning?" He looked at the guys and then grinned at Jack. "I figured it out, mysterious and wise one."

Jack looked up at Miracle and then nodded. "Have you?"

"You need someone who can get away with murder, call it in, wait at the crime scene, confess to doing it to the Detective right then and there as a kidnap situation and play the traumatized victim who's had such a hard life as it was, to that point anyway, that even the Detective feels so sorry for him that he covers it up for him?"

The other three guys went completely silent and stared at Miracle and Jack.

Jack stared at Miracle skeptically. "You did that?"

"Googles the newspaper now, check it out, West Virginia, Jordan and Kyler, bashed with hammers, by me, Kyler framed for it, Miracle the innocent and lucky surviving victim." He shrugged. "Check it if you don't believe me."

"Could make a lawyer and a damn good member." The same guy spoke up out of the other three. "You got to take him in, Jack. He knows what he can do."

Jack looked over at his friend and then over at Miracle. "You wanted something though, what is it? What do you expect to gain from us?"

"Aside from getting to wear one of those cute jackets custom made for me?" Miracle grinned.

"The elimination of a human trafficker with big connections, a mob boss I call him, who has made my life a living hell since I came here to America. He's killed my friends, broke my family apart, stole my life away from me and now I have to run and I can't go home because of him. Jordan? He was a psychologist hired to sneak into my life, to monitor me, spy on me. Kyler was hired to kill, and to hunt me. So I decided to take them out and because of that we had to leave West Virginia and come here and prior we had to run from New York."

Jack slowly nodded. "That is a lot to take in. So what does this man want with you? Why go to such lengths?"

"He's a nut job?" Miracle shook his head. "Point is to fight someone like him, I have to be someone like him or at least have similar resources."

"You know, people like that, they seem powerful don't they? Hells Angels seem powerful too. Why? Numbers." Jack twirled the nearest pool ball around with his middle finger. "The truth is that any big affiliation is like a spider web, large numbers but not together and not always together." He looked up at Miracle. "There are always the weak links, the weak moments, the weak places but they are all so intimate."

Miracle listened and nodded for him to continue.

"When they are at home, in the shower, asleep, when their car is in the drive way, unprotected, a building unguarded, some where they feel safe. So long as you are distant from him, he is protected, in fact the further you are away, the bigger his hand gets in the house of cards." Jack said.

Miracle thought about this and it brought back the fact that Cody and Melanie had gotten so close to Eric at the warehouse, close enough so that Melanie had actually been able to stab him and drug him, the security had been very minimum and then he thought about how close he had been, himself, at the party and how Sterling mentioned how he could of poisoned Eric. "You're right, all of that is true."

"How did you take this...Kyler and Jordan out?" Jack asked.

"Jordan was a weak link I guess you could say. He had his own obsession with me, I lured him to our location with a promise to run away with him, Kyler followed which meant I could take care of both of them." Miracle answered.

"And you did, on your turf, in your setting, with your plan. And it was easy, wasn't it? Getting them on their turf is only as difficult as the turf you choose."

"Well it was better than my first plan." Miracle grinned.

"And what was that?"

"Something about the Hilton Hotel and getting Jordan off the balcony and saying I hooked up with Jordan and Kyler pushed him off and then shooting Kyler before he pushed me off." Miracle shook his head. "I don't even remember.."

There were a few chuckles from the other guys and Jack grinned. "Humor, I like it." He nodded. "I'll talk to you about your jacket and more, keep in touch with Damien and he'll keep us connected." Jack said.

"Well that was some real partying back there." Jaemin said, unamused as he walked in the house after Miracle. "No booze, no sex, we played like really good boys."

"Hey, I broke my pattern, didn't I?" Miracle turned around to look at Jaemin. "Didn't you figure out my hint?"

"I'm dumb, enlighten me, the newly joined wise one." Jaemin said.

Miracle rolled his eyes. "Craig's FBI. As soon as I'm done with them, I can get them busted for something. It's like Jack said, they may be a huge gang but they are only one group in a thin web, I only have to nail the ones that know me to be set free."

Jaemin slowly shook his head. "For your sake, I hope it turns out that way for you because now I think you've gotten into something that I can't protect you from."

Miracle frowned. "Lets just play it by the moment for now, alright? It's all we can do."

"It's all we can do." Jaemin mumbled. "What happened to us, Miracle?" He asked as he walked towards the large window in the living room.

"What do you mean?" Miracle followed him.

"I think about times...like when we went to the empire state building or the moments we spent in your room, just small times." Jaemin took a deep breath.

"You know what happened, Eric stole that from us."

"How can a man steal feelings?" Jaemin turned around and looked at Miracle. "How can he steal moments like that from happening again? Those things are supposed to be able to happen anywhere."

He stared at Jaemin thoughtfully. "Time...does things to people, life does things to people. People do things to people."

"Do you even remember who you were at the very beginning?" Jaemin asked.

"That's the funny part, the beginning is the clearest, it's the middle that's hazy and feels so far away." Miracle fell to sit on the couch.

"When did it start to feel hazy? Or when does the haze start to shadow your memories?" Jaemin walked towards the couch.

Miracle thought about it. "I guess around the time of the party, around the time of my suicide attempt...when it was all coming together." He said as he seemed to be staring off into space.

Jaemin sat beside him.

"Now I just...feel so empty." He looked at Jaemin. "Pissing you off is just a cheap thrill...that's all that I seem to do, look for cheap thrills. Why not? Nothing is ever permenant anymore."

"Not even us?" Jaemin asked.

"Not when we don't even know each other or ourselves." Miracle mumbled. "You would of never been afraid at that bar, at least not the you that I remember..."

"And you would..." Jaemin trailed off.

"No come back?" Miracle looked at him.

"What does that mean?" Jaemin asked.

"That I'm more of a stranger to you than ever, maybe I always have been or maybe you just forgot me completely." Miracle looked away. "You always leave the sentences unfinished."

"Yeah, I do." Jaemin frowned. "I just...draw a blank, most of the time, this time."

"These assignments are so cliche." Aiden sat down at the table in front of Miracle and sat his tray of food down and looked at him.

"Really? I wouldn't know, I've never gotten one." Miracle slightly grinned but only for a moment. "It's kind of sadistic..."

"Sadistic?" Aiden questioned. "That's the oddest reaction I've ever heard."

"Think about it, I mean it's like they play sims. They select who they put together and then they force interactions by giving an assignment or in video game terms, a command in the hopes that they will get the desired results." Miracle said.

"I'm still lost." Aiden opened his coke.

"A biography assignment on each other to which they select the partners? We're sims, they throw their sims, us, at eachother in whatever combination they choose with the single command to interact, the assignment if you will, hoping that by the end of it we will be friends in the end." Miracle grinned. "Like I said...it's sadistic."

"I've never thought of it that way." Aiden said.

"My friend, Ryder, well my old friend, well my friend but he's far away now, would of loved the assignment. He used to analyze me like a psychological bug under a microscope." Miracle explained.

Aiden nodded and looked around. Aiden was a jock but actually a little different, he played basketball, not football and unlike the other jocks he met, Aiden was school smart too, he was like Kevin meshed with Ryder. Miracle had fun making these observations when they landed in new schools, though this would only be their second time doing this.

"So who's spilling first?" Aiden asked and poked at his lunch with his fork.

"I have fun at Q and A's..." Miracle said. "It's because when people ask the Q's...it also gives me information, it tells me what they are interested in."

"That's insightful." Aiden nodded. "True though, you can get to know a person in a lot of ways by the questions they ask when they are trying to get to know you."

Miracle grinned and laughed. "And then with the A's...the questioner might find things that they decide they really didn't want to know."

"So you're from Australia, that is obvious."

"Maybe." Miracle said. "If you go to a country young and stay long enough, you can pick up the accent of those around you and it can stick." He paused and grabbed his soda and took a sip. "I was adopted."

"What is that like?" Aiden asked curiosly.

"Depends on where you go." Miracle answered. "It could be a miracle...or it could be hell or just something in between."

Aiden nodded thoughtfully. "Speaking of miracle..."

"That..." Miracle grinned. "My birth Mom stole a man, my Dad, away from his girlfriend. She caught them sleeping together. Total homewrecker, right? Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. So in her mind, she won, got her marriage, her baby, and her beach house on her private beach and life is perfect, essentially a miracle. Why not make me the living personification of that? So here I am."

Aiden stared at Miracle. "But she threw you away." He said, confused.

"No one ever said there couldn't be trouble in paradise." Miracle sipped his drink. "Money went bad, Daddy sneaks away to do a stint in the military assuming she wouldn't let him go unless he did sneak away. He did a great Harry Houdini." He smiled. "Mom didn't have her perfect family anymore, so why have one at all?"

"You're so...perky about it." Aiden said, making a weird face as he jotted down notes in his notebook.

"That's me, insanely perky." He sat his can of soda down. "I forgave my Mom. Yeah, my adoptive family tracked her down, brought her back into my life. That was a very dramatic scenario actually, it was like two dramas colliding but I forgave her. She was better than my adoptive Stepford Mom."

"Two dramas? What was the other?" Aiden asked, getting even more curios.

"My blackmail and the crimes that resulted from it." Miracle said after a sigh of reflection.

Aiden stopped writing. "Is this real or are you just having me write fiction?" He asked, skeptically.

"Just write it and let the teacher decide." Miracle's grin only brightened

Aiden grinned and witheld the laughter that echoed inside of him as he went back to writing. "Okay so tell me more, fake or not."

"You want my version of fake?" Miracle rubbed his hands together.

Aiden looked up and then laughed quietly.

"So, real people, real positions in my life, fake story." Miracle cleared his throat. "So I once had a psychologist, his name was Jordan. He was into me." Miracle gave a side glance towards Aiden with such a mocking look of seriousness that it was laughable. His eyes narrowed just a little bit. "What a dirty old man he was."

"Well, I had a friend in school, his name was Kyler, he was a strange kid. I only messed around with him once, he was rather mean come to think of it." Miracle's eyes diverted to the floor momentarily. "Well he went crazy when me and Jordan booked a room at the Hilton. We were on the balcony because I wanted to take pictures for facebook. It was going to be our first time." He looked off into space. "I guess Jordan was, well he had such an impression on me...I was just an innocent kid. He never got a chance to have his way."

Aiden grinned and rubbed his chin with his finger, watching how Miracle spoke so dramatically yet so calm and seriously and yet his facial expressions were so animated, just the way he narrowed his eyes or changed his line of sight. "So what happened?"

Miracle then directed the intensity of his stare on Aiden. "Kyler broke into the room." His eyes then widened like a deer caught in the head lights. "He pushed Jordan off the balcony and he fell...twelve stories down."

Aiden laughed. "You should be in drama club."

Miracle grinned. "Everyone tells me that." He shrugged. "Or something along those lines. But as you can see, the difference between my truths and my lies?"

"Not really." Aiden shook his head. "I mean the stuff you tell me about your blackmail, if you really want me to believe in that, you would naturally be less dramatic, a little more subtle, not so over the top. You can act, clearly, but showing me over drama doesn't mean that you couldn't pull off a real drama and make it sound normal, without the fancy tone and the over done reactions."

Miracle shrugged. "Okay, believe what you want but if you don't want to believe my life, don't ask me any questions." Miracle sipped his drink.

"Then what am I supposed to write?" Aiden asked.

Miracle sat his soda down and then unzipped his bag and snatched out a piece of notebook paper and a pen and then he jotted something down and handed it over. "Generic of life prescription."

Aiden took the paper and looked at it. "Mirazone?" He looked up at Miracle, confused.

Miracle nodded. "Yep, take it to the library and when you get there, hand it to the libriarian. She'll be confused because she is a new pharmacist, plus generic life prescriptions are new to the world. Just tell her that you need a generic life written on paper for the brand name Miracle."

Aiden tilted his head to the side. "Is...that a joke? It's...not funny."

Miracle grinned. "Not trying to be. You can accept my story, my brand name story or go get a generic one, your choice."

"Okay...maybe this is just a little funny." Aiden looked at the paper. "Mirazone." He grinned slightly but tried not to. "Alright, sorry for not accepting your story."

And then the bell rang. "And now you can wait in suspense to see if I forgive you or not." Miracle grabbed his bag and got up from the table and walked off, Aiden left there with such an odd encounter to mull over.

Miracle walked into the gym and threw his bag on the floor, seeing Jaemin sitting on the floor with the other guys and he walked up several rows of bleachers and took a seat.

"You, the new kid..." The teacher waved over at Miracle and then looked at Jaemin. "Uh..the other new kid, you're late."

"I know, I was having a domestic dispute with my english partner, had to write him a prescription for it. Hope it helps him find his way." Miracle grinned.

Jaemin rolled his eyes. "Here we go..." He mumbled among quiet laughter and chatter.

The teacher nodded. "Okay...well we are over here."

"Right and I am here." Miracle nodded. "I have post traumatic stress disorder. When I enter a gym, I must be on top of the bleachers otherwise I have flash backs of almost getting crushed under them." Miracle said, pretending to sound serious.

Jaemin shook his head, the laughter and amusement growing louder.

"You should have a note then." The teacher said, not seeming annoyed but he knew it was bullshit.

"I did but it got ripped up in my domestic dispute. My english partner can be vicious." Miracle replied. "Should I have called the police? I can file a report. Maybe they can collect the pieces in evidence." Miracle started to get up.

The teacher waved his hand up. "Detention, I don't have time for this." The teacher looked at the group and went to continue on explaining the plan for the semester.

"That's prejudice!" Miracle stood up.

The students all started laughing as they watched the scene and kept looking back and forth between Miracle and the teacher.

The teacher watched his class going out of control and losing focus and attention and he closed his eyes and then looked at Miracle after the outburst. "Prejudice?"

"You cannot give someone detention for being mentally ill! What kind of monster are you?! You should be in jail!" Miracle stepped down to the bottom bleacher.

Jaemin brought a hand up and covered his face.

The teacher nodded. "Okay, no detention." He lifted his hands and then walked over to Miracle. "What if we went outside to the field, away from the bleachers. Is that fair?"

Miracle almost wanted to grin at how persistent the teacher was being and at the same time so calm and controlled. "It's to late! You done disturbed me!" He screamed dramatically and ran off the bleacher and grabbed his back pack and ran out of the gym, hearing the applause for his performance, Jaemin running out after him.

"Well you did it again. Was it fun?!" Jaemin walked after him.

Miracle grinned and turned around. "Kind of. You know I always have to get out of that class some how. It was a given.."

His grin then faded. "But then, you never knew that about me, did you? I already got out of it in New York when you met me, wasn't put in it in West Virginia."

Jaemin sighed. "Okay, Miracle, I get it, I don't know everything about you. What do you really want to say to me? That Sterling does?"

Miracle frowned. "Why do you keep this jealousy act going? Do you know what Sterling was to me? And this is something I would not dare to admit to anyone, I don't even think I admitted it to myself at the time. He was a crutch, I went to him frantically upset, slept with him to take the emotional pain away and then tried to kill myself in his bathroom. And when I did go back to school? It was all 'be strong Miracle.' And that wasn't just him saying it but me too, as if it was that simple."

"I don't know why I do it." Jaemin shook his head. "Maybe I just..don't feel good enough or something."

"Why? Because you manipulated when me and you happened? How do you know that we wouldn't of become anyway?" Miracle shook his head. "It's all me, I give you all reasons to be jealous. I don't even know why I even asked why you kept getting jealous. I give you every reason to be."

"Kevin, the guys in Philly, Ryder, why?" Jaemin questioned.

"The guys in Philly? Don't even include them, that was totally stupid." Miracle started off down the hall, walking beside Jaemin. "I guess when I actually get close to people, I just want to taste as many possible lives as I can...as many people as I can. Everyone is so different. Think about it, Jaemin. If every where you went, people wanted you, how could you..."

"How could I not be tempted? How could I not wonder why? How could I not wonder what if? How could I not want to find out?" Jaemin looked at Miracle. "It's endless questions, endless possibilities."

"Exactly." Miracle frowned. "And I just think about how we were at home, like you said, times in my room or when we would go to the empire state building and I wonder...if we could just go home, could it all go and be okay? I mean I know Kevin happened but he's not there anymore and even so it was just a weird time and...and weird thing altogether."

"So wanting to go home so bad, it's partly because of us?" Jaemin asked.

"It's mostly because of us." Miracle stopped and looked at him. "You are all I have left that is familiar...and we're both so lost that we're losing each other, we need our friends and our family, they are who keep us grounded. They do so much in making us...happen."

"I never saw it that way." Jaemin said. "But I really think you might just be right."

"I know I am." Miracle took a deep breath and looked down at his locket and reached up to hold onto it tightly.

February 2009

"So..who's Damien?" Aiden asked.

"Well there is a story for our project." Miracle sat the two cups of hot chocolate on the coffee table and sat on the couch beside Aiden. "It's actually really funny."

"Tell me." Aiden smiled.

"Well me and Jaemin went to the public library to skype my friend Sterling and me and Jaemin got into an arguement like usual..."

Aiden laughed. "You make it sound like you're an old married couple."

"Ryder said that about us. In fact I told Jaemin and I quote, I would love to ride a Ryder."

"Nice." Aiden laughed.

"So then I walked outside to have a cigarette and this guy comes up, says he liked our argument and I asked if he normally comes to spy on people. He said no, just me. So I just look off...and I say, God, should I be surprised? Then the guy said don't talk to God, talk to me and I said, I don't even know your name, He asked me what did I want to call him. I got all sarcastic and asked him what if I wanted to call him God instead, bow down and pray to him."

Aiden laughd. "Oh my god."

"God, god god." Miracle grinned. "So Jaemin comes out, the guy is on a big ego trip, starts spouting off everything I said, I felt like I was on that hidden camera show where they set up fake scenarios in public places to see how the public would react or something."

"And he turns out to be Damien?"

"Pretty much." Miracle nodded, leaving the more serious details of the story out.

"So, can I ask you something more serious? It was from our first conversation but I've really been debating it for a while, I didn't want to hit a sore button."

"Ask it and we'll see." Miracle looked at him.

"You said adoption could be a miracle or it could be hell depending where you end up, or something like that." Aiden said.

"You want a translation? Well in the adoption world, I've not been to heaven but I've been to Earth and I've been to hell. To put it in order I went to hell and then came to Earth." Miracle paused. "I...would rather not tell that story. I mean I'm sure you wouldn't exploit me and put it on the project but it's just...an uncomfortable story for me to tell."

Aiden stared at Miracle and then reached out to take his hand. "You could tell me. You said you met a few stereotypical jocks and that I wasn't one of them, well here's one more, I'm compassionate too."

"Well it's not to say that Kevin wasn't.." Miracle looked down at their hands.

"Did you ever just sit and talk with him?" Aiden asked.

"I just remember the sex with him but...it was loving, gentle. The most conversation I really remember was when he was willing to leave for me, so that I could save my relationship."

"Would you ever consider telling me?" His thumb brushed across the top of Miracle's hand.

Miracle's eyes closed. "Every time I think about it, well it's like thinking about going through a door I don't want to go through, like going into a room where all the air is sucked out."

"You went somewhere bad."

Miracle nodded. "Somewhere really bad." His eyes opened and he looked at Aiden. "His name was David." He said nervously. "Aiden, I can't talk about it, please just leave it alone?"

Aiden pulled his hand away and nodded. "I'm sorry."

"We're back, guys!" Jaemin called out as he walked through the door, Damien behind him.

"Yo yo yo! God's in the house!" Damien grinned.

"Please! You are not God!" Jaemin spun around and grinned at Damien.

"And they became awesome friends." Miracle said.

Aiden's eyebrows lifted.

"You about ready for some praying, boy?!" Damien laughed and ruffled Miracle's blonde hair and then tossed his jacket onto the couch. "Made just the way you wanted it!" He then went off into the kitchen to put his beer in the fridge.

"You created a monster." Jaemin said and then looked at the jacket and then over at Aiden.

"My jacket!" Miracle grabbed it and looked at it.

"Hells Angels?" Aiden's eyes widened.

"Oh! It's just a knock off, nothing real." Miracle looked at Aiden and then over at Jaemin.

"They come around here sometimes though. Do you know how pissed they might get if you impersonate them? Knock off or not." Aiden stared at the jacket as if it were taboo.

Damien came back in with a beer and then grinned when he noticed what was going on.

Miracle made a face and looked at Jaemin and then Damien before his gaze returned to Aiden. "Okay, look...I'll tell you the truth."

"What is it?" Aiden asked.

"My Mom found my Dad." Miracle nodded, a lie of course.

"She did?" Aiden questioned, skeptically.

"Well..she found his head stone." Miracle nodded. "After the army...he became a Hells Angel. And Damien here, well...he was an old friend! Yeah...he used to know my real Dad, isn't that right, Damien?" He looked over at him.

"Sure did, a fine man he was, a real loss." Damien nodded and lifted his beer. "I think of him every time I have my first sip. A real drinker..."

Aiden stared at Damien.

Miracle squinted momentarily. "Well anyway, it was the anniversary and my Mom happened to meet Damien and they were talking and so...when Damien met me, he knew who I was. How many Miracles are in the world, right?"

"So, he makes sex jokes about his dead friends son?" Aiden asks.

"Oh! His Daddy knows my humor!" Damien shook his head and took a sip.

"Look, Aiden, point is, when he realized who I was, he had to give me my Dad's jacket." Miracle lifted up the jacket. "See? So they don't care if I have it. It was my Dad's, it's all cool."

"So why did you lie and call it a knock off?" Aiden pushed further.

"Because...well you were freaking out. I...didn't want you to know I was connected in any way. I don't hang out with them or even know any of them. They just wanted me to have my Dad's jacket and Damien...well he's just a groupie! We only hang out with him when it's just him!"

Jaemin gave a slow nod. "Smooth, real smooth." He mumbled, hoping Miracle's Dad wasn't really dead and rolling over in his grave.

Aiden sighed. "Okay, if you say so."

Miracle smiled. "Yeah.." He folded the jacket and draped it over the arm of the couch. "That's all it is."

Damien looked at the hot chocolates. "What the hell are those for? I brought the real drinks!"

Miracle looked over at him. "Because it's winter and it's cold?"

Damien grinned. "You're cold?" He looked over at Jaemin and then walked over and sat on the sofa chair near the couch and leaned close to Miracle. "You know they say the best thing for the cold is...uncovered body heat." He looked between the other three. "There is plenty of that here."

Miracle stared at Damien and half grinned. "And would you need to feel that body heat to be warm or would just seeing it make you hot?"

Damien took a sip of his beer. "Just see it...but I think you three would need to feel it, especially you."

Jaemin was used to Damien's mouth by this point, it really didn't bother him anymore and he didn't feel threatened, Miracle didn't seem interested for once and in a way that made him a little bit happier, it was why he had actually made good friends with Damien.

Miracle nodded. "Well who's warmth are you more concerned with? If it's yours, you know they have DVD's for that, if all you need to do is see it."

Aiden went quiet and grabbed his hot chocolate and sipped it, feeling rather out of place, though this was his first time hanging out with Miracle outside of school or even really hanging out with Jaemin period.

"Nothings better than a live show." Damien said.

"Dream Damien..." Miracle grinned. "Dream...hard and dream deep." He laughed and fell back into the couch and looked at Aiden. "Don't mind him...he's goofy. Come halloween, I am totally making him go out as a clown."

Aiden almost choked on the hot chocolate as he pulled the cup away. "He'll probably make you pay a price." He said in between coughs.

"Hmm...oh no. He would get in big trouble." Miracle shook his head.

"So whats up silent?" Damien nudged Jaemin's leg with his foot.

"Cats got my tongue, I guess." Jaemin laughed and looked around.

"Grab a beer then..." Damien suggested and watched Jaemin head off to the kitchen.

"So y'all are doing this...what, biography project?" Damien looked at Aiden.

Aiden looked at Damien strangely. "Uh...yeah, sure."

"Twenty questions is always a fun way to get it." Damien shrugged.

"Kind of repetitive." Miracle shook his head. "Besides, if we group played, you would make it dirty or something." He laughed. "Sorry...no."

"You stab me in the heart so much." Damien sighed.

"We could hack someones facebook and create an event, house party, and watch the chaos." Miracle looked around as Jaemin came back with a beer.

"You don't know anyone, who would you pick?" Aiden asked.

"How about monopoly? See how long it takes before Miracle impulsively robs the bank and runs upstairs?" Jaemin grinned, not a real suggestion but a way of slipping a fact out about Miracle.

"I like robbing the bank, I'm villainous." Miracle grinned. "Oh my god! We just need to fly everyone out here! All of our friends! For real!"

"You want to make a gang, thats a way to do it." Jaemin grinned. "Put the whole cast together."

"I want to really do it..." Miracle got up and walked over to the stereo and turned it on and then spun the volume wheel to turn it up. "Someone tell me why not?" He asked as he started to dance a little.

Damien grinned. "Little plotters."

"We need skype! Get the life of the party here!" Miracle looked over to his back pack on the couch. "Aiden, toss me my phone."

Aiden went through Miracle's back pack and extended his arm out with Miracle's phone.

Miracle walked over and grabbed his phone, still dancing a little to the music as he touched the screen, going through several menus. "Answer the skype! Skype is God!"

"I thought I was God?" Damien grinned.

"You're fired." Miracle laughed.

"Yay! It's Miracle!" Jasmine said as she appeared on the screen. "Where the hell have you been? You know not calling me is unacceptable!"

"I've been doing bad things! You know how I am! What about you?" Miracle laughed.

"Misery! You hear me?! I've been in misery! Look at my room. I had time to paint my walls black, my ceiling, I ripped my carpet out, I put black tile down, I burnt my credit card hot fire! The machines won't even read it anymore! I got grounded!" Jasmine laughed.

"Black is the color of the soul!" Miracle paused. "Or something like that."

"It's mine...right now!" Jasmine sighed. "You know just to creep us out, Eric had someone dig Brad up and he was left on the door step of Cody's church?"

Miracle's eyes widened as he stopped dancing. "You're kidding."

Aiden looked over at Miracle, alarmed by what he heard.

Jasmine laughed. "Yes I'm kidding! Eric really had his body taken to a strip club and hired men were in the ceiling and put him on stage dancing with strings like a puppet."

"Awe...I made your life so much better! You have to much time on your hands. I miss you Jas!"

"You too!" Jasmine looked at her door. "Uh oh...my Dad's coming, not supposed to be using any technology, returning to the middle ages. Bye! Skype again! Bye!" Jasmine disconnected.

Miracle's smile faded and his hand fell to his side, his grip on the phone loosening to the point it threatened to fall to the floor.

Aiden watched Miracle's reaction. "Are you okay?"

"No." Miracle said and then he let go of the phone and it lightly fell to the floor.

Jaemin looked at Aiden and then Damien, who even had a serious look on his face for once. He walked over to Miracle and gently grabbed him by the arms. "Go upstairs, you don't want to fall apart here."

Miracle looked up at Jaemin. "And you? You're just going to stay here? Play party host? Wow...you and Damien have really gotten close. I guess now I know how it feels for once, huh?"

"Miracle..."

Miracle brushed away from Jaemin and walked away and headed upstairs, Aiden getting up and taking off after him.

"He'll get over it." Damien said.

"I just..never had a situation where more than one person was important to me." Jaemin looked over at Damien. "I didn't want him to fall apart here...but you don't just bail on your house guests. I guess I'm a jerk, right?"

"We all fuck up, it happens." Damien shrugged.

"Miracle?" Aiden walked down the hallway.

"In here." Miracle said, sitting on the floor by the bed, arms wrapped around his legs.

"Mind if I come in?" Aiden walked up to the half opened door.

Miracle wiped at his eyes. "I left the door half open..."

Aiden walked in and then over to Miracle and sat on the floor beside him. "I'm sorry that hurt you."

"I hate my life!" Miracle cried. "You know, put this in your project...I tried to kill myself once...and sometimes I wonder why not try again?"

"Don't say that." Aiden reached for Miracle's shoulder and lightly gripped it.

"Why not? Why not?!" He jerked away and stood up and looked down at Aiden. "I don't exist anyway!"

Aiden stood up and looked at Miracle. "You do to me."

"Right now, sure, until the next bad thing happens." Miracle shook his head and walked towards the dresser and grabbed his locket and threw it on the bed. "He gave me that, Jaemin. Christmas...and it's the biggest lie I've ever been told."

Aiden picked up the locket and looked at it and then opened it and looked at the picture inside and then read the message. "It's a nice present." He looked up at Miracle.

"It's a lie..." Miracle cried. "Why throw a dream at someone, make them think it can happen? What fucked up kind of person does that? You know what kind! David! He did that! He did that!"

Jaemin had just reached the door with Damien in tow just when Miracle said that.

"So I'm as bad as David?" Jaemin looked at him.

Miracle looked at Jaemin. "Truth hurts, doesn't it?! Yeah it does! It hurts everyone! The truth, it just smacks you in the face!" Miracle screamed

"That's exactly what he did!" Miracle walked over and snatched the locket from Aiden. "David took me away, just like you took me away! And then he started hurting me, like you're hurting me! And then he promises me all kinds of beautiful things in the end, they will eventually happen, he really cares, just like you, all like you, all like this!" Miracle threw the locket at Jaemin.

Jaemin let the locket hit the floor and then he looked up at Miracle. "If you wanted me gone..." He took a deep breath. "If you just wanted to go your own way...if you really felt like this...all you had to do was say it.." He shook his head and turned around and headed away from the bed room.

"Just get the hell out!" Miracle screamed after him and cried, his hands covering his face.

Damien stayed for a moment longer but then turned and left to go after Jaemin, knowing he would need a place to crash for the night.

Miracle pulled his hands away and took a deep breath.

"Miracle?" Aiden stepped closer. "I'm not leaving you alone like this."

Miracle stared at the bed room door. "Then don't." He turned to look at Aiden. "Make the pain go away."