Like a Train Wreck - 44. Chapter 44: The Right Moment

April 2009

"So! Spring break." Aiden walked into the kitchen. "My sister left for college last year, California, and I was thinking of going to visit her. Do you want to come? I know every chance out of town would..well be great for you."

Miracle sat at the table, slicing an apple into slices and looked up at Aiden. "Sure, that would be cool."

"Um..Miracle? It begs me to ask you something." Aiden walked over to the table. "Have you thought of where you're going to college?"

Miracle looked up and grinned. "Aren't you supposed to like start applying for that like months and months ahead? Well I didn't do it, haven't even considered it, probably should of thought of it last year but with crazy Eric, well it's kind of hard to think about that sort of stuff."

"I could imagine." Aiden slowly nodded.

"My adoptive parents, Craig and Martha had started a savings account when Hunter was a kid, it was his college fund. Well by the time I came around, they would always talk about how he probably wouldn't even need it because he would get a scholarship. Craig would say things like it would probably just end up being for me. Martha said that it would probably just pay off for them because I probably wouldn't even know or care about anything after high school." Miracle sat the knife down and started putting the slices in a bowl.

"Why was Martha so mean to you? Wasn't it her idea to adopt?" Aiden asked, confused.

"The bitch knits in the car and as far as I know has never poked her finger." Miracle looked up. "Okay, exaggeration, she only knitted in the car going down the road once."

"Who does that?" Aiden looked a little disturbed.

"Stepford Moms." Miracle shook his head. "They never bothered to take the time to talk to me or even ask me if I knew what I wanted to do, but truth be told, if they did, I would of just proved her point and she would have just had one more reason to believe she was the perfect, know it all, Mom. That's right because I really didn't know and I didn't care to think about it."

"And why is that?"

"Because they all say do what you want to do, go for your dreams, find the job you like." Miracle sat the salt shaker down. "First of all, who likes a job? Who likes working? Would you want to be a doctor that has to see peoples insides? If I tried that I would be lucky I didn't vomit and probably get fired and be sued for everything. Or what about a teacher? I mean first you leave high school only to go to college, learn to teach what you already learned and then you just turn around and go back? That's kind of twisted. Or a lawyer, do you want it on your concious that you ruined peoples lives? Sure the money and all the rewards are nice but I bet if you could have it all for free, you wouldn't bother with the jobs or care about them." Miracle shrugged.

"Maybe those aren't the jobs for you then, did you ever consider that? You only listed three jobs in many." Aiden spoke after Miracle's rant. "What about your acting? You said you didn't know how it worked, someone would need to teach you, wouldn't they?"

Miracle chewed an apple slice and then swallowed. "For real? Britney was on television when she was a kid."

"Because her Mom made it happen and did it for her, all she had to do was the thing she was good at."

"I still don't need college for it, just rent me a how to video and by the end of it, I'll know."

"You are so stubborn." Aiden shook his head. "Okay so you'd know but you wouldn't have the credentials. Want to know what that is? The thing that makes the people impressed. You know what her Mickey Mouse club was? Something Britney could put on her resume when she decided to start her career. Could a how to video give you anything to even create a resume for?"

Miracle dropped a apple slice and looked at Aiden. "Fine, you win. It doesn't make a difference anyway, it's to late."

Aiden frowned and sighed. "I only push because you need pushing."

Miracle shoved another apple slice in his mouth. "Well help me with things that can be helped."

Aiden nodded. "Okay, and what would that be?"

Miracle cleared his mouth. "Well, I won't be going to college but you will. Where does that leave me?"

Aiden smiled a little and reached over to take Miracle's hand. "Right here, if you want. My Mom will always be here for you, as long as you need her."

"I like your Mom, I really do." Miracle looked at their hands. "And I'm not trying to guilt you into staying or make you feel bad in any way but, when you're gone, I won't have anyone to protect me."

Aiden looked at their hands thoughtfully. "You could come with me, just because you wouldn't be doing anything doesn't mean you still couldn't live with me."

"We would have to have our own place to do that." Miracle said. "I know that much."

"Well you could get a little job or something and I could get something when my time is free and we could make it work." Aiden then grinned. "And I could make fun of you all the time about it."

"Oh really?" Miracle grinned. "Like if I worked at Mcdonalds or something and you came in? I would mess up your order. Give you thirteen nuggets instead of ten and then you could go on about how lucky you are until I remind you of what a horrible number that is and then when you go home, you find that the house is all rigged with traps."

Aiden let go of Miracle's hand and laughed. "You would have way to much time on your hands if you did that."

"It would be fun." Miracle grinned. "So when are we leaving?"

"Tonight, tomorrow, which ever you prefer." Aiden laughed.

"Tonight, get there by morning, see the sun rise over the ocean. The east sucks."

"So Jaemin..." Philip walked over towards the table near the bar where they usually hang out at, tonight quite a few of them were there but it was a quiet night.

Jaemin took a hit off the joint and handed it over to Damien. "Yeah?" He looked over at Philip.

"You've proven you can fight and we have been able to teach you relatively well with guns but I think your hand to hand will always be your best." Philip pulled a chair out and sat on it backwards. "Now I think we need to know the lengths to which you will go to be a part of us."

Jaemin looked over at Philip. "You aren't giving me the runaround that you did Miracle. I showed you what I can offer, you can take it or leave it. I have yet to lose my patience or fall into such desperations that I would do anything to...desperately try to get any of you to help me get Eric."

Philip grinned. "I can understand why you would question our motives. At the same time, could you understand why we reacted to someone like Miracle in the way that we did?"

Jaemin half grinned and took the joint back from Damien and took a hit, blowing the smoke out. "You were jerks."

Philip nodded. "The reason I say we need to know the lengths to which you would go for us is because you are taking up the request Miracle made. That is, asking us to go to New York, unknown territory to us and to search for this man when the only clues you have were a warehouse he stayed at and then an island where he hosted a party. You ask us to do this not knowing how much security he has, man made and technological. You are asking us to go in blind, my friend."

"Well I do hope you appreciate the information that I did give you." Jaemin handed the joint to Damien.

"It was much more than Miracle gave, certainly, but it still isn't much. Of course we have connections there, people who are familiar with the area so we would have joined forces." Philip explained.

"What I can tell you is that at the warehouse, his security was minimum, my sister, Melanie, was able to talk the guard into letting her in under the belief that she was his girlfriend. She was able to get close enough to him to drug him and what guards he did have did save him from her. They escaped on a boat just as the police arrived, very close call. The party was more sophisticated. There was a big crowd and he had a hired man strap a woman with dynamite. The details aren't important but what that says about him is that he has connections to people and a selection of weaponry but he can be prone to poor judgments, though he might of learned his lesson after the warehouse." Jaemin shrugged.

Philip nodded. "Oh, that just makes everything better. So now we're facing explosives? Yeah, that means that you really are going to have to go out on a limb for us, if you want us to take that risk, you're really going to have to prove yourself."

"I'm not saying that he couldn't get explosives but in that particular situation, it could have been...feasible that the dynamite was fake." Jaemin said.

"Really? Why?" Philip asked, tilting his head.

"Well the point was to force the woman against her will." Jaemin paused. "Get your minds out of the gutter." He looked around. "She was made to cut a pregnant girl open and the fetus fell out."

Philip sat upright and gave Jaemin this crazy look.

"Miracle called him the crazy man for a reason." Jaemin nodded.

Philip lowered his head and shook it. "Of all my life..." He looked at Jaemin. "My point is...would you be willing to go against Miracle if it meant getting your part of the deal?"

"Go against Miracle?" Jaemin question. "You don't mean playing a stupid joke, do you? Because if that's proving myself, betraying him and being a jack ass, well thats stupid."

"No, in betraying Miracle, you get your part of the deal, by giving him up. If Eric wants him, we kidnap him and use him to lure Eric to us, everything is on our terms. That brings us all certainty, we aren't going anywhere blind and this Eric won't do anything stupid if he's smart." Philip said, nothing short of serious.

Jaemin stared at Philip. "How do I know you would keep your word?"

"Because you learn to trust us as we learn to trust you. We work together, build a relationship, a foundation. This doesn't happen right away but...the only condition is that the plan is kept secret. Miracle already knows we played him, he would never trust it or us."

Miracle walked outside with his roller suit case and tossed it into the back of Aiden's jeep.

"Traveling light?" Aiden asked.

"Last year? You wouldn't believe the size of my luggage. I went to Fiji." Miracle said.

Aiden looked puzzled. "I have a hard time picturing you going to Fiji." He looked up at Miracle. "No offense, it's just the way you talk about your adoptive parents. I mean did your real Mom have that kind of money?"

"Truthfully, M was Jaemin's sister and he stole her tickets after she died, he had just found out she was his sister, it was really all unfortunate but he kept insisting that I go. We covered it up, saying Cody was the one that had them."

Aiden put the last of his things in the back seat. "Jaemin stole his dead sisters tickets? I mean...even if he did just find out she was his sister..." He looked at Miracle. "Kind of an odd way to respond."

Miracle looked at Aiden. "Well she wasn't exactly quite welcoming of him. She made up this fake anxiety disorder that could give her Dad a heart attack to keep Jaemin from going to him. She was worried the inheritence would be split. Turns out they didn't even share the same Dad. That was after she died though, she couldn't stop Jaemin then."

"How convenient." Aiden said after a moment.

Miracle's eyebrows raised. "Fate works in mysterious ways." He turned away from Aiden and walked around the back of the jeep.

"Well, hey, we got several more hours left. Do you mind if I go out? I figured I would go and get a present for my sister." Aiden smiled.

"Well I could come with you." Miracle grinned and walked over to Aiden. "But I get it, you want a little personal time. Maybe I can fit in one more session with your Mom, if she comes home in time."

"Not that I don't like your company..."

"Aiden, quit. Sometimes it's hard not to be clingy, but if you want the space before having to spend a week with me clinging...I'll give that much to you." Miracle leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Just make sure you're back in time."

Aiden smiled. "I will be back in time." He then climbed into the jeep and started the engine and pulled out of the drive way.

Miracle waved him off and then turned around to head inside the house.

"Thanks for doing this. I would do it myself but I'm supposed to be buying you a present." Aiden walked around wal-mart.

"Oh that is so sweet! You buy me a present when you're under cover!" Jennifer, Aiden's sister, spoke through the phone.

"Well you were my first thought, I jumped over Mom!" Aiden laughed.

"Don't let her know that." Jennifer pulled up her web browser. "So what am I looking for?"

"Uh...I don't have a lot of info. Sterling...car wreck."

"In New York?" Jennifer laughed. "Long shot." Jennifer typed.

"Well someone initialed M dies. Then there's a murder weapon. Type that stuff in."

Jennifer keeps typing. "Okay, I'm looking."

"What are you seeing?" Aiden starts looking at candles.

"Okay here is an article. Your mysterious M stands for Melanie Reyes. Killed in a wreck believed to be deliberate...The knife from Brad Kershaw's murder found in the other vehicle.." Jennifer read, glancing over things.

"Does it say who's vehicle?" Aiden asked.

"The owner of the other vehicle believed not to be the killer in either case, evidence proves otherwise. No name is given." Jennifer said. "Brad Kershaw was an unsolved murder victim, murdered just before being accused of participating in a group rape and beating of unnamed teen."

Aiden kept looking at the shelves. "Anything else?"

"Well then it goes back to Melanie. The female victim of the wreck, Melanie Reyes, killed shortly after an incident at a local warehouse where she assaulted and attempted to subdue a man, claiming that a friend needed to be rescued, the friend was saved, unharmed, and the man escaped." Jennifer sighed. "That's about all it says."

"The reason I ask is because Miracle's friend had just found out that Melanie was his sister and her initial reaction was to protect her inheritence, she feared it being split if the truth ever came out. She made up this fake anxiety disorder that would make her Dad have a heart attack. Well after she died, Miracle's friend went to Melanie's Dad and it turned out that they didn't share Fathers at all, they were only half siblings."

"Well, wouldn't that give Melanie more of a reason to kill?" Jennifer asked, confused.

"You would think." Aiden said as he randomly picked a candle and grabbed it.

"Unless Miracle's friend thought the very same thing, decided to spare himself the grief and the paranoia and decided to save himself first." Jennifer closed her laptop.

"Well after she died and he went to her house and found out they didn't share Dad's, he stole her spring break tickets to Fiji. I kind of thought that was an odd reaction." Aiden headed for the front of the store. "He gave them to Miracle and practically made him go."

"Do you think he was the victim in the..."

"Maybe." Aiden interrupted. "He said he had an evil jock ex, labeled B and in the context of his story, I would definitely say it was Brad. Though that whole thing just leaves more questions than answers." Aiden reached the front and picked a line.

"Well then, after all of this, I really look forward to meeting him." Jennifer spoke sarcastically and smiled.

"I'm kind of hoping that Brad just had a crazy girlfriend that caught him or something, maybe caught him with Melanie."

Jennifer fell back on her bed and started laughing. "Oh the stories you make up. You should be a writer!"

Miracle heard a knock on the door and walked over to it. "If it's who I think it is...well it better not be." He yanked open the door to see Jaemin standing there.

"Hey.." Jaemin said.

Miracle crossed his arms. "What do you want?"

"I was just..wondering where you were going for spring break, what you were doing. Obviously I have no plans." Jaemin frowned.

"You know...thats a little possessive. Maybe while I'm gone, you should educate yourself on how men start to escalate into abusive men." Miracle paused. "Though...that kind of sounds like the wrong word to choose right now."

Jaemin lifted his hands. "Sorry for wanting to know. Your life seems to be the one going here."

"Well I'm not traveling abroad again if that is what you're wondering. That wasn't a vacation, it was for therapy, I know it might sound nice and awesome to you but I had a goal and objective and when I was done with it, I decided to come back surprisingly quick."

"Why? You could of took a huge break. In fact that could of been your ultimate escape, why come back?" Jaemin asked.

"Because, it would have been one more leap and I'm done leaping. I already started to build here. I'm done running. Besides the place had horrible memories." Miracle turned and walked away from the door.

"Australia. That's where you went, isn't it?" Jaemin stepped inside. "What did you do there?"

Miracle stopped and stood where he was for a moment. "I went to see David."

Jaemin's eyes widened. "I should of been there with you. That is so important to your life."

Miracle turned around. "I don't need my hand to be held, to be walked through my issues to make sure I don't fall down." He walked closer to Jaemin. "I went through him alone, I had to face him alone."

Jaemin looked down and then shook his head and then looked at Miracle. "So how did it go? What did he say?"

"Unbelieveable. I'll never forget that quote he made. Innocent little angels are devils in disguise. They drive you into things, ruin you and then they get away." Miracle half smiled. "What a way to see it."

"That's so far from the truth, it's not your fault." Jaemin shook his head.

"He talked, either he still believed in everything he made me believe or he was really just messing with me. The difference was that he looked dead inside, no emotion, yet the only time he reacted to me was when I cried, he couldn't stand it."

Jaemin frowned. "Did it make a difference? Did it change anything?"

Miracle shook his head. "I don't think so. How could it when he just says things like he had to be parent first, wait for me to get older before we could be together." Miracle shook his head. "That's so fucked up, I remember already being together, many times."

"Well at least he knows how you feel, right? That's something that changed."

"He was surprised that I was there, he said. I made sure he knew that I hated him for all of it." Miracle sighed. "And at least I have one more memory of him and that is facing him with a better understanding of what he had done to me. Maybe that's the change, maybe I was expecting something bigger, more noticeable." Miracle sat on the couch.

"Maybe you were expecting a change that you could see, something that would confirm that something happened." Jaemin sat beside him."

Miracle nodded. "Well, you should be gone. Aiden will be home soon."

"Miracle, why is this happening? I don't understand it." Jaemin said.

"I'm sorry that I compared you to David and that I accused you of hurting me." Miracle looked at Jaemin. "But in all reality, this is the best thing. I'm starting to move on, being with you was like...well it's like if I'm with you, I have to have my old life too because you are tied to it. Letting go of it means letting go of all of it."

"But Miracle, people change all the time, people evolve in life, even as couples and that's what makes them stronger, they survive it together." Jaemin said.

"Well then, maybe I'm weak? We weren't surviving it, even you were questioning why we weren't working." Miracle shook his head. "I don't have an answer, all I know is that things have to be as they are, right now."

Jaemin nodded. "I better go before Aiden gets home." He stood up and slowly headed for the door and then looked at Miracle. "Whether we're together or not, I want you to keep that locket, it has everything to do with you and nothing to do with me, I just gave it to you." He then walked out.

"What took so long?" Miracle stepped outside and let the door close when the jeep came to a stop.

"Well I got a couple of things." He pulled out the candle. "Present." He then pulled out a pack of cigarettes. "For you, enjoy the self destruction." He grinned. "I filled up the gas and you said you wanted your locket back so I found it."

Miracle caught the cigarettes and laughed. "Funny." He shoved them in his pocket and then stepped closer and took the locket when Aiden pulled it out of the bag. "Thanks. I know it's weird but I guess having a little hope doesn't hurt, right? And the message is kind of beautiful."

"Well since it was on the call, I had to grab a lock pick kit, thankfully it had a how to in it."

"You had to break into my Mom's house?" Miracle grinned and then gasped dramatically. "You did something bad! Oh I am so proud of you!"

Aiden laughed. "Well thank you." His smile faded. "Why don't you get in? We have to leave soon anyway and there was something I wanted to talk to you about."

Miracle looked at Aiden. "So serious." He broke out a grin and then walked around to the passenger side and opened the door, getting in and closing it. "So what is it?"

"It's about Melanie and Brad." Aiden said.

Miracle stared at him. "You figured out who M and B were." He crossed his arms. "You checked it out. Why? What do you want to know?"

"Well your trip to Fiji, when you told me about it, well Jaemin stealing his sisters tickets after she died, even if he just found out, it was kind of odd to me." Aiden said.

"The girl lied to him to protect her inheritence, he saw a piece of her luxury and took it. Wouldn't you have some bitter feelings if all your life you dreamed of family and it turned out like that?"

"I could understand how upset he must have been." Aiden nodded.

"And why let the tickets be wasted? Not like two tickets were going to be worth much to her single Dad that did nothing but run that pharmacy every day just to make his lonely life worth something." Miracle frowned. "I didn't mean that to sound awful, just that the man wasn't really trying to have a life."

Aiden stared at Miracle. "You know what surprises me, how you all of a sudden sound like a criminal."

Miracle almost let a surprised urge to laugh escape him. "Well if the investigators were thorough as I'm sure they were because they figured out my best friend didn't do it, they would know that I was in a club the entire time surrounded by most of my friends, given I did get in there illegally but if they did have cameras, I was at the table the whole time. I didn't see nothing, hear nothing, nada. They didn't even tie the club to it, as far as I know, given the wreck happened away from it. None of us were questioned."

Aiden's eyebrows rose and he nodded. "Okay." He looked at Miracle. "But the knife was put there, the one that killed Brad. You know it's just odd that the case went unsolved when there is such a clear motive. It comes out after, that an unnamed teen was..." Aiden then trailed off. "Miracle, I don't want you to feel like I'm accusing you and in fact, I hope you weren't that unnamed teen."

"I wish I hadn't of been, unfortunately I was. You see, blackmail is a dangerous game to play, I didn't learn that until that happened to me. Jocks...evil jocks, they will do anything to protect their reputation, keep their dirty little secrets under the rug. You know that second drama I talked about when I told you about my birth mother? Well it was the investigators that came to question me. It was after I was released from the hospital, after the mandatory suicide watch had passed, after my attempt."

Aiden nodded, listening.

"I don't know what they thought. I had an alibi, I was in english class, what better of an alibi than that? The investigators actually got there before Martha and Craig even walked in with my Mom, I didn't even know who she was until after. So I had a go at it with one of the guys, told him ever so sarcastically how Craig just gave me the money to hire a hit man, the whole thing was so far fetched that they never bothered me again. My name was never to be made public, that was the deal." Miracle shrugged. "Now you know all the dramatic details."

"Did you ever wonder if one of your friends did it because what Brad and his friends did to you pissed that friend off?" Aiden asked.

"I had only one friend at that time, Sterling, and he wasn't the type, if he had done it, he wouldn't of risked framing himself with a crime that had long been forgotten about. That's what they do, they quickly shelf them to keep up with the pace. I'm sure one day it'll get thrown at a rookie for training purposes." Miracle looked away. "Are you done grilling me?"

"I'm sorry, it's just that the Fiji story was weird." Aiden looked at the steering wheel.

"Yeah, well, just because Jaemin decided to snatch the tickets, it doesn't make me guilty of anything. He practically forced me onto that trip, he wouldn't shut up until I agreed." Miracle sighed. "Could we just, drive now?"

Aiden started the jeep and backed out of the drive way before starting down the road. "Look, I'm sorry for calling you a criminal."

"No, it's okay, what I said about Melanie's Dad was horrible. I didn't mean for it to come out that way but I don't think there is really any nice way to say it." Miracle shrugged.

"I know you didn't mean it. Sometimes you just say things because you're trying to get a message across and the way you explain it just comes out without thought. So...the man doesn't do a whole lot of things."

"It's still horrible and history will never forget it." Miracle looked out at everything they drove by.

"Miracle...stop." He reached over and took Miracle's hand. "Let the wind take your words away."

Miracle grinned and held Aidens hand and then looked at him. "Is that supposed to be poetic?"

"An attempt." Aiden answered.

"It makes me think of Gone With The Wind, and I swear they show that movie on every plane I ride." Miracle laughed.

"I think you're making that up." Aiden smiled.

"Well you're just going to have to take it as the truth." Miracle grinned. "Because I'll never admit otherwise."

"I didn't think a place like this could be here." Miracle walked out from under a limb to an open and spacious area that just rested at the edge of a cliff viewing the ocean, the sun rising.

"Why not?" Aiden smiled.

"I just always pictured California as place..where you couldn't escape people." Miracle looked around. "It's beautiful. How did you know it was here?"

"No, I think that would be more like New York, maybe, given I haven't been there." Aiden looked around and then laid the blanket down on a grassy area closer to the back. "My sister found it and she took pictures. She told me if I ever came, to bring someone special here."

"Someone special?" Miracle walked over to the blanket. "Then why am I here?"

Aiden looked up at Miracle after falling to his knees on the blanket. "Do you have to ask?"

Miracle lowered to be eye level with Aiden. "Last night you thought I was a murderer, this morning, I'm someone special?"

Aiden grinned and looked away and shook his head. "I never thought you were a murderer Miracle." His smile faded. "I just thought that maybe you might of knew more than you said."

"So you thought Jaemin was the killer...and that I was covering up for him?" Miracle asked.

"Does that make you mad?" Aiden asked.

"Jaemin...saved me from Brad and his friends. Unfortunately they had hurt me in the worst way. I could of took the beating, been a good sport about it, but they had to make me feel..." Miracle took a deep breath. "They ran off when he showed up and then I kind of took off to Sterling's not long after."

"Miracle, I am so sorry." Aiden slowly shook his head.

"Jaemin can't be Brad's killer because he would have never killed Melanie, meaning that who ever did kill Melanie would of had to have killed Brad. Jaemin would have never killed Melanie, no matter how upset he was, meaning that he wouldn't of had the knife, someone else, Brad's real killer had the knife and whoever that is, they killed Melanie and left the knife there." Miracle said, protecting Jaemin.

"I trust you." Aiden said. "I'm sorry for all those bad memories."

"Well I don't blame you for seeing what everyone else saw. I was in the middle of everything. Well, at least when Brad died but then you tie it all together and stories start to..well, make you wonder." Miracle looked up at Aiden. "What I don't get, is why I'm suddenly this special person that you decided to bring here."

"I've thought about it for a while, the right time, the right place...and then that stuff came up and totally made me second guess everything and then...you made sense of all of it." Aiden shook his head and reached out to take Miracle's hands. "It's not sudden, not for me, it's just that..you didn't know and there was no build up."

"So you've felt this way for a while?" Miracle looked down at their hands. "And you still got that locket for me? Despite the fact that it says it's from another person?"

"I don't care, that person is part of you, part of who you were and that locket, it meant a lot to you, what it said means a lot to you. So a simple saying that signifies who it's from, well to me, it's just a piece of your history." Aiden smiled a little.

"So..we're just...supposed to what? Do it here? Is that the plan?" Miracle asked.

Aiden looked around awkwardly. "Well...I...didn't say it..like that."

"I'm sorry." Miracle pulled his hands away. "It's just when you told me it's good when people say no, now I'm confused about when people are supposed to say yes. I mean it's okay now because you want to? Am I supposed to because now you want to? Because you set it up? Is that what was wrong? The first time it was because it was what I wanted?"

"Miracle, it's not a rule book. I mean of course it's something I planned and I hoped it would be special for you but it's not about a rule that says so, it's about how you feel." Aiden said, rather surprised at where Miracle had taken what he had said.

"And what if I don't know?" Miracle stood up and walked a little bit away. "What if I'm scared that you're tricking me?"

Aiden stood up and followed Miracle. "If you're that confused, then it shouldn't happen."

Miracle looked around at everything. "I've ruined it..."

"You didn't ruin anything." Aiden stepped closer. "I probably should have known better."

"Now you regret it." He looked at Aiden and his eyes started to water up. "You did all of this and all I could do was think that you were going to hurt me..."

"I understand why. Look at all the people that have." Aiden shook his head. "It's okay, don't blame yourself. Nothing is ruined. We got to come and we saw the sun rise...It's okay."

Miracle wiped at his eyes and shook his head. "That was what I planned, you had plans and I ruined them. You wanted to love me and I pushed you away."

"Miracle, I can just look at you and love you." Aiden stepped closer and pulled Miracle into a hug, wrapping his arms tightly around him.

Miracle sighed and closed his eyes, taking in the comfort that Aiden's arms provided.

Damien took a sip of his beer and laughed. "They're probably in a hotel by now, a suite with some silk sheets, making the bed is a waste of time because they'll keep it messy!"

Jaemin threw another dart and it landed in the center of the board and then he looked annoyed as he turned to the couch where Damien lay. "Are you purposely trying to bother me?"

Damien waved his arms out. "Motivate my friend! Motivate! Didn't you break him up before? Him and some guy, what was his name? Stan?"

"Sterling." Jaemin corrected him.

"Well what did you do?" Damien asked.

"I kicked him in the head, knocked him down the stairs and then when Miracle woke up, I told him that he didn't even bother or care to come to the hospital." Jaemin explained.

"How did that stick? I mean wouldn't the truth come out?" Damien asked.

"Oh my god, it's so confusing. Melanie had so many plots weaving." Jaemin rolled his eyes. "Sterling was admitted as a patient, had a concussion, I think and then I think she stole some kind of black mail that Miracle did and uh...did something or another with it."

"Women can be confusing...but they some how keep up with everything they do. You could rip the pages out of a book, white out the page numbers and mix it all up and they could still organize it." Damien sipped his beer.

"Wait..." Jaemin closed his eyes. "Miracle falls in love totally fast..."

"Bad for you." Damien laughed.

"So he like fell in love with me before he even got out of the hospital. So then..Melanie had to steal the black mail from whoever had it because Brad stole it and then..I think maybe she lied and said something about Sterling was going to use it to blackmail me away or something." Jaemin opened his eyes. "That was at a party, when Melanie stuck the disc in the computer to make Brad's girlfriend watch it and then I kick Sterling's ass and knock the computer off and the disc gets stuck in it forever."

Damien started laughing more. "Wow! If only my high school days were that dramatic!"

"Yeah, sure. Anyway, how is any of that supposed to help me now? Melanie was all the brains in everything, I just beat Sterling up a few times." Jaemin sat on the edge of the coffee table.

"Man, I wish I could meet her." Damien took another sip of his beer. "Look, you said Aiden totally freaked over the gang thing, right? Well you're a member, use it."

"Miracle would be pissed at me. Talk about getting him to skip the country if he has nothing to stay for."

"Not if Aiden bails his life and he has no one to pay for it or anything else for that matter, he'll need you again. Trust me, he won't be able to stand going long without money." Damien grabbed a bag of chips.

"Uh...he's the one that's been getting our money. He's the one with the uh..." Jaemin looked away. "The Dad."

"But you got the wheels..." Damien grinned. "Unless his Dad would buy him a new car, would he send that much in one go?"

"I don't know what his Dad would do." Jaemin shrugged. "Whatever I do, I need to think very carefully about it."

Jennifer opened the door and smiled. "Aiden!" She then looked over at Miracle where her smile faded into a more forced look. "Hi..."

Aiden looked between Jennifer and Miracle. "It's okay, he's innocent, he has alibis for everything, solid."

"Yes, I explained very thoroughly as to why it couldn't have been me, but you know, having just come to America, adjusting to everything, lacking a car and dealing with school, black mail, violence against me and attempted suicides, I just had plenty of time to walk the streets, go to every club, bar, make fake IDs for the ones a minor can't get into and sort through all the little people and minor gangs so I could work my way up to the Mafia King who supplied me with the top ten list of wonderfully loyal hit men and...my Dad paid for it!" Miracle smiled.

Aiden's eyes widened. "That's uh...I think that's kind of like the sarcastic confession he gave to the cops."

"Slightly upgraded, much more detail." Miracle grinned.

Jennifer smiled. "Okay! Well you guys can come in!"

Aiden watched Miracle head inside and he looked at Jennifer and mumbled. "Sorry."

Jennifer shook her head and waved a hand and once Aiden came in, she shut the door. "Not much room, it's just a dorm but I'm sure the hotel will be nicer and you guys will enjoy that."

"You bet." Aiden smiled and pulled the candle out. "Your present."

"We should jump him, buying you a present as a cover." Miracle grinned. "I will be buying you a present for the sake of...well giving!"

Jennifer took the candle and laughed. "Well thanks Miracle, you can surprise me."

"Well I would surprise you but at the same time, it's a little fact about me, I like to walk the beach and collect sea shells. I always do it, every time. Normally I keep them for myself though." Miracle sat on one of the beds.

"Well you don't have to do that, especially if these will be your first from here." Jennifer smiled.

"Jennifer, how do you know when it's right?" Miracle asked.

Aiden looked up and his eyebrows lifted. "Oh...awkward when ya do it with the sister, I'm just going to go outside and pretend to be busy." Aiden then rushed out.

Jennifer looked at her brother and almost wanted to laugh and then looked over at Miracle. "Well, normally you just know and if you don't then it's just not right."

"But...what if you always think that and it's because your paranoid and it's because you...well you don't understand?" Miracle asked.

Jennifer looked at Miracle. "Well then you have to work through that first and figure that out." She leaned forward. "Miracle, I really didn't get the psychiatry genes of the family. I'm not good at it."

"Okay." Miracle nodded.

"I'm going to send him back in here or you can come with me and you guys can go get checked in or whatever. I'm going to go out and do a little shopping."

"Just send him back in here, I'll wait." Miracle said.

"Okay." Jennifer smiled and grabbed her purse and her keys and left the room.

Several minutes went by and Aiden walked back in. "She give you generic advice?"

"Everyone just says you will know. Can't they tell you anything else? I think it's because they don't want to tell you what to do because if you do it and it goes wrong, you can come back and blame them." Miracle looked up at Aiden.

"I know all people sound the same but, do you really want to do that? Going from person to person to get the next direction? Suppose she did tell you to sleep with me, would you be ready to do it right now?" Aiden asked.

"I don't know." Miracle got off the bed and walked over to the candle on the shelf and looked at it.

"See, no matter what anyone thinks or says, you're only going to do what you think is right, it proves their point." Aiden walked further into the room.

"What I don't understand is that before, I could of slept with Ryder in a heartbeat, could of done it with Jaemin in the next room in the shower." He turned around to look at Aiden. "And now me and Jaemin are broken up and you're here...and I don't know what is wrong with it. All I know is that the first time, you told me no, and that it was the right thing to do."

"I think I know." Aiden sat down. "When you ask, when you initiate, you know what you're doing, it's all on your terms, you're safe."

Miracle shook his head. "Not always." Miracle sat on the other bed. "I've slept with people thinking they would love me only for them to crush me."

"Sure, but at least you could say that you picked the wrong person, the wrong person didn't pick you."

Miracle looked confused. "What does that even mean? Either way it's the wrong person. What difference does that make?"

"It's a matter of control. When you pick me, it's okay, it's good but then when I pick you, it has to be wrong, something has to be bad, it can't be good because it's never good, it never turns out right. You're impulsive when you pick but then when someone else picks, you think and then your thoughts go to bad places because that is how others have made you feel. Like a trick or a fool or a temporary time that will end."

Miracle stared across the room thoughtfully. "Maybe, I don't pay attention to that kind of stuff."

"When you wanted this Ryder guy, who picked?"

"Well he wanted me but he never really, I don't think he said it. I just knew I could have him, if I wanted." Miracle answered. "I don't think he wanted to cause trouble."

"So in other words if you had slept with him, it would have been a good time for you, fun? Right? Because you had your relationship."

"I guess." Miracle nodded.

"And he was so passive so you knew he would of went along with anything probably. Total safe zone, but you chose to stay faithful."

"So that's one time, hardly makes a pattern." Miracle looked at him.

"Does if you think about it more." Aiden stared at him.

"Yeah, well..we didn't come here to go over my failed life." Miracle looked up at him.

"Want to know something? You would be the first guy I've ever been with."

Miracle's eyes widened. "A newbie? Thank god I didn't do it!" Miracle jumped up.

"A newbie?" Aiden asked.

"Yeah, you could like...try it on for size and decide you don't like it." Miracle walks around the room. "You know? Like you put Ken with blonde barbie and decide you like him better with brunette but in the reality of it all you might decide plastic just isn't really your thing at all and dump anyone who ever reveals to you that they have had plastic surgery, even if they didn't have a choice!"

"That...sounds silly." Aiden almost wanted to laugh and he would of if he didn't think Miracle was at least half serious.

Miracle turned to look at Aiden. "Maybe so, but it makes sense." Miracle's eyes squinted. "Does anyone even know? I mean naturally I've never talked to your Mom about you but I've never met your friends...or your team, that's because I hate sports though, but whatever."

"Well obviously my sister knows." Aiden said.

"Does she keep it secret? Some sisters do that." Miracle sat on the other bed.

"I didn't care and just so you know, yeah my Mom knows. A few team mates were a little weird with the locker room thing but ya know, if you just stare at the wall, you kinda prove that they are being dumb and egotistical and really it's your friends that matter and they were supportive. Then things simmer down and it blows over and then none of it really matters."

"Yeah, but you could still say, I tried the shoe on, didn't like the feel, thought the shoe was for me but it just wasn't." Miracle stared at him.

"Why don't you tell me about Brad. I mean, this is about evil jock ex's isn't it?"

Miracle looked away. "Well I met him, he almost ran me over, I stole my fake Mom's credit card and we got a hotel. We hooked up, had sex in secret and then one time I recorded it and blackmailed him to make him be a real boyfriend, said I would show the video to Sarah and then...well he seemed to really change when he came the next day and apologized, then he stole the blackmail..."

"I see." Aiden slowly nodded. "Now how do I compare to him?"

"Uh...well, I don't know." Miracle shook his head. "You've just been a nice friend till today."

Aiden grinned. "You're just stubborn." He leaned forward. "Would he...want to take you to prom?"

Miracle's eyes widened. "Oh, that's this year." He looked around. "I've thought about it for a long time, I never could picture what would actually happen, or not happen."

"Now you're nervous." Aiden laughed.

"I would feel like Carrie walking in, of course I know that wouldn't happen, not even close, just that feeling of disaster heading my way."

"Say yes." Aiden grinned.

Miracle stared at him. "Okay, but if anything bad happens, like by fate or some driving force out of my hands, it is your fault."

"Deal." Aiden laughed.

Miracle stood up and walked over to sit beside him and stared at him.

"What?" Aiden asked.

"I'm waiting for the moment to feel right." Miracle smiled.

Aiden smiled. "Well..okay."

"Don't smile, it'll make me laugh." Miracle reached up and cupped Aiden's face with his hands.

Aiden's smile slowly faded with the touch of Miracle's hands. He stared right back at him.

Miracle's smile faded and then he leaned forward and kissed Aiden and wrapped his arms around Aiden's neck as he pulled him closer. Miracle fell back on the bed, taking Aiden with him, who was now on top. The kiss deepened and became more heated but broke as Miracle reached down and grabbed the bottom of Aiden's shirt and pulled it up and over his head, tossing it aside.

Moments went by and clothes ended up scattered and tossed about, landing as they would across the room. Heavy breaths escaped their kiss as Miracle's body pressed against Aiden's. The touch of skin on skin almost felt like a new feeling, something to be desired.

Aiden grabbed Miracle's wrists and gently pushed them to the bed and looked down at him after breaking the kiss, trembling nervously but he pushed onward as he leaned down and started kissing Miracle's neck and then he finally took it to the next level.

Miracle felt Aiden inside and his eyes opened briefly only to then fall shut again. His hand moved to Aiden's chin and lightly guided him back. "It's okay." Miracle whispered and then pulled him down and deeply kissed him.

Miracle's words were enough to settle his nerves as he deeply kissed him and then he wrapped his arms around Miracle, holding him close as he began to rock within his motions, physically and emotionally connected with Miracle in his own way. Aiden broke the kiss and his eyes shut tightly and as the physical sensations grew stronger, so did his aggression. That didn't seem to be of any trouble to Miracle as he seemed to enjoy it the further it went along.

Miracle's legs wrapped tightly around Aiden's thrusting hips as his fingers lightly clawed at his back, his hips thrusting toward Aiden eagerly as he moved beneath him, clinging, crying out for more. Aiden's hand gripped tightly to the pillow that Miracle's head laid on while his other hand gripped the head board, the bed rocked with their motions until Miracle had reached his limit and released between them, Aiden not long after when he pushed deeply into Miracle.

Aiden rolled over and laid beside Miracle, breathing heavily as he stared up at the ceiling. "Another secret, that was actually my first time...ever, with anyone. Not really a secret, just something you didn't know...until now."

Miracle looked over at Aiden "Oh...well...thats nice to know." Miracle looked around and then leaned over to snag his jeans and pulled his lighter out and his cigarettes. "Oh crap, your sister got an ash tray?"

"Don't think so." Aiden looked at Miracle.

Miracle laid the pack and the lighter on the night stand and collapsed in the bed again.

"Do you feel awkward? I sense...awkwardness." Aiden looked at him.

Miracle grinned. "Psychiatrist..." He rolled over to face Aiden. "If there is any, it might be because we expected to feel a big difference. Someone told me something like that, it kind of makes sense."

"Yeah, it does." Aiden looked over at Miracle. "So it's okay?"

Miracle shifted closer and wrapped an arm around Aiden and laid his head on his chest. "Yeah."

"Good." Aiden smiled and wrapped his arms around Miracle.