The Art of Being Gay - 15. The Orphans' Table

The Orphans’ Table

“Hi Dad, Happy Thanksgiving!" Justin said as Chad answered his phone.

"Haha!" Chad laughed. "Gobble, gobble, to you too."

"So, what are your plans for today? Is the Gay Culture Club having another meeting?" he asked. "Or are you done with that?"

"We're having dinner at Roy's and then most of us work tonight," Chad chuckled.

"Dad, I can hear you smiling," Justin chuckled. "Something happened, didn't it?"

"I don't know what you mean, son." Chad rubbed his face trying to wipe away his giddiness. "What could have happened?"

"Oh, no," Justin said. "Tell me it's Roy, Dad. Please tell me you're with Roy."

Chad burrowed his forehead trying to make sense of his son's desperate plea. "I'm confused son. What are you talking about?"

"Roy is such a good guy, Dad. He was great to us and he's really a nice looking guy..."

"Justin, what are you babbling about?" Chad asked. "How did you hear about me and Roy?"

Justin exhaled loudly. "Thank God," he said in a rush. "I was afraid he went through with it."

Chad scratched his chin. Justin was a level headed kid. He sounded like he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown or something. "Son, I'm fine. What were you afraid someone was going to do?"

"Nothing. So, you and Roy finally woke up?" Justin gushed. "I've got a new stepdad."

"We're not quite at that point yet," Chad chuckled.

"But you're together right? You aren't seeing anyone else, right?"

Chad cleared his throat. "Yes Justin. Not that it's any of your business, but I have no interest in any other men. Roy's pretty special and I wouldn't wanna screw that up."

Justin sighed again. "Good. Now both my parents are seeing good people. That's a relief."

"So your mom and Toby?” Chad asked. “Things are going well for them?”

“Yeah,” Justin said. “She’s really happy and he’s pretty cool. We went out four wheeling last weekend with his sons, Jake and Tyler. They’re nice guys too.”

“I’m happy to hear it,” Chad said. “So, dinner at your grandma’s today?”

“Oh God, don’t remind me,” Justin chuckled. “I’ve got a one o’clock dinner at Candy’s parents and then we’re eating at grandma and grandpa’s at four. I’m going to need new pants before this day is over.”

“Try wearing sweats. That should get my parents into a hissy fit,” Chad said soberly. He didn’t want to think about the absence of his own parents from his life; it was a hole he had been ignoring.

Justin was silent for a minute. Chad waited for a response, fearing what would be said next. “You should call grandma and grandpa. They miss you.”

“I’m not sure that’s wise right now,” Chad said, after another pause. “They aren’t too keen on me.”

“They miss you,” Justin said. “Grandpa asks about you all the time. When I told him about our trip, he wanted to know everything we did. He even asked about Roy.”

Chad felt his throat seize up. “You think he’s warming up to the idea?”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Justin snorted. “Just call him. Grandma misses you too. She keeps talking about Christmas and how you’ll be here. You are coming aren’t you?”

“I’m coming down for Christmas. I can’t miss seeing my best bud in the whole world open gifts,” Chad said. He was carefully swallowing between his answers. Not seeing Justin almost every day was so hard. He could almost see his parents’ smiles when he’d walk into their house. Maybe enough time had passed where things were smoothing out. Roy certainly would be another wrinkle, but then they would either deal with it or not. In some ways, it surprised him. A few months ago, he’d be freaking out. Now, he wanted to bring Roy home and introduce him around. If his parents had a problem, he’d simply deal with it.

“Good. Tell me when you’re coming and I’ll get the house ready for you,” Justin said. “Candy promised she’d help. It’s sad driving by your place with all the lights off. Then, I’m reminded you are in a better place now. It was good to see you so happy. I haven’t seen that for a while.”

“That’s nice of you to say,” Chad choked out. “Have a great day.”

“You too, Dad. Love you,” Justin said, his voice a little shaky as well.

“Give your grandma and grandpa a hug for me. Your mom too,” Chad said. Justin agreed and the phones went dead.

Chad looked up at the room and brushed his eyes dry. Sitting on the sagging bed was his suitcase, filled to the brim with clothes. Next to it were two gym bags. One was zippered shut and plump with objects. The other was still open, though not much else would fit in it. The room was bare except for a few cans of soup sitting on top of the old microwave. The closet door was open and empty.

If he had to he could return. He’d paid for the room through December. Chad doubted that would happen. After Roy pressed a key into his palm this morning, he’d figured his time here was done. The rooming house had never been any kind of home to him anyway. It was a dormitory of sorts, a kind of resting spot between places. Chad figured he’d eventually move back to Council Bluffs, but now he thought that was rather unlikely.

His house down in Iowa held as much happiness as this room did. After the divorce, he’d bought the three bedroom place and moved in. Except for his bedroom and the one Justin occupied on occasion, the house was pretty empty. There was a television in the living room with a couple of Lazy-Boy chairs and a game system. Chad put up a couple of old posters. Otherwise, the house had acted as a dormitory too. It was a way station between stops.

Chad shrugged off his thoughts and finished placing the last of his socks in the top of the second gym bag. He zippered it shut and grabbed the handles. He lugged the two bags down the stairs, bumping them against the rickety railing and the wall. The sounds of their thumping echoed in the empty space.

As he exited the front door and opened up his back seat, Chad heard a voice calling his name.

“Chad, wait,” the man said. Chad could hear the light thud of running coming toward him. He knew that voice. His stomach seized up again. After he got the second bag heaved into the backseat, Chad turned to greet the man he never wanted to see again.

“Chad, where are you going?” Silas Morgan, the English teacher, asked. His thin, pinched face was puffing with his exertion in the chilly air. “Are you coming back home?”

Chad opened his mouth to speak. His words were harsh.

***************

“When is Chad getting here?” Wes asked, setting the casserole dish on the counter. “I thought he was making the turkey?”

“He went to his rooming house to get a few things,” Roy answered, trying to contain his grin. “The turkey’s in the oven.”

“Get a few things?” Peterson scowled. “What is he getting from his room? The place doesn’t even have a kitchen, not really.”

“Chad stayed overnight and popped the bird in at seven. He’ll be here soon enough,” Roy answered. He was trying so hard to wait. They agreed to tell people together. It was so hard not to say something. Roy felt like he would explode.

“If he stayed overnight, what did he need from his room?” Peterson asked. “You wouldn’t let him shower here?”

“He’ll be here in a few minutes,” Roy answered as casually as he could. Peterson wasn’t biting. The blond man put the paper bag on the kitchen table and took off his coat.

“Are you guys an item now?” Peterson asked, turning Roy to face him. “Did he stay here, like really stay here?”

“That’s none of our business,” Wes said, touching Peterson’s shoulder. “The yams are still warm. Should we put them in the fridge or is there room in the oven?”

Peterson winced from Wes’ touch. “You’re not answering the question, Roy. Are you and Chad…? Well?”

Roy couldn’t contain his glee. “We were going to tell you later, as a couple. Now you’re spoiling the surprise.”

Peterson’s shoulders slumped. “That’s cool,” he said, his voice deepening. “I’m happy for you.”

“Me too,” Wes giggled. He hugged Roy’s back. “I knew it. I was telling Ho-, Peterson just this morning I thought something was up.”

“Alright. He’s moving in,” Roy said happily as he turned. “He’s getting the last of his clothes.”

“That’s awfully quick,” Peterson groused. “When did all this happen?”

“We hooked up last week.” Roy stopped peeling the potatoes and looked at them. “Actually, for me it’s not quick at all. Usually I have them moved in before they get toweled off after a shower.”

Wes laughed out loud as Peterson scowled. Roy looked at the blond man curiously. He looked conflicted for some reason.

“Is there anything wrong, Peterson?” Roy asked.

“Nothing,” Peterson said. He forced a grin on his face and held out his hand. “I’m really happy for you both.”

“Now we have another couple to play cards with,” Wes giggled and grasped Peterson’s arm possessively. Peterson shrugged him off, pulling away.

“Can you please stop that?” Peterson grunted. “I don’t like being touched all the time.”

Wes looked shocked. “I’m sorry. I just…”

“I’m going to watch the parade,” Peterson said. “Congratulations Roy. I’m glad you guys are together.”

The blond man left the kitchen. Roy looked at Wes with concern. “What’s going on with him?”

“He didn’t sleep well last night. He got up and fell asleep on the couch. Don’t worry about him. He’s moody,” Wes said. The young man gave Roy a half-hearted grin. “Now, what can I do to help?”

Roy reached out and touched Wes’ arm. “Is everything okay with you guys?”

Wes looked around. “Yeah, it’s all good. He’s a little grouchy sometimes. He’ll be fine in a few minutes.”

“Okay,” Roy said, letting it go. “If you’ll finish peeling the potatoes, I’ll get the corn casserole ready.”

“Sounds good. When are the rugby guys getting here?” Wes asked. He seemed fine now.

“I think at noon. Considering they don’t know a thing about Thanksgiving, I didn’t ask them to bring anything. They’re coming to just eat.” Roy said, pulling a dish from the cupboard. He took a mixing bowl and set it on the counter. “I’m pretty excited about today. Usually it’s just my mom and me. This year it will be a houseful of people, well almost.”

“I wanna hear about how you guys finally got together,” Wes giggled. “I’m so happy for you.”

“Me too,” Roy said. “It was a big surprise…”

*********

“I wonder where Chad is?” Roy asked, peeking into the oven. “I don’t know if the turkey is done or not. It’s pretty brown, but the little pop out thing hasn’t sprung yet.”

“I don’t know,” Wes said, taking a drink from his hot cider. “Mom always does the turkey.”

“Yeah, why aren’t you with your family?” Roy asked, closing up the oven.

“I didn’t want Ho-, um, Peterson to be by himself,” Wes said.

“You can call him Horace to me,” Roy chuckled. “I know his name. I’m his boss after all.”

Wes blushed, but collected himself quickly “It’s his first real holiday since his mother died. I wanted to be around him.”

“What do you usually do?” Roy asked, grabbing his own cup of cider and sitting down at the kitchen table across from the younger man.

“I go to my parents.” Wes sighed. “I told them I was coming here and they didn’t seem too upset. I come from a big family. I doubt I’ll be missed.”

“Don’t you get along with them?” Roy asked.

“Oh, we get along fine. I’m out to them and they were pretty cool about it. My dad said, ‘Figures,’ when I told them. It was a non-event. I’ve always been a bit swishy and nerdy. My brothers are all big jock types so it was even more obvious growing up,” Wes explained. “Don’t get me wrong. I love them and everything. We don’t have a lot in common. I’m usually the one in the corner after dinner reading a book.”

“Family is difficult even when you get along,” Roy said. “My mother is a force of nature. Sometimes it gets to be a bit much.” Roy looked over toward his hallway. “I hope Peterson is okay. He’s acting strange.”

“Peterson always acts strange,” Wes said, shrugging his shoulders. “I really like the guy, but he’s so prickly sometimes. I keep reminding myself he’s not as touchy-feely as I am. It can be off-putting though.”

“I’m lucky. Chad lets me gush all over him. He seems to tolerate it well,” Roy chuckled. “How is it going with Peterson?”

Wes paused. “I’m fond of him. I mean, I don’t know. We’re very different people. He’s fun sometimes, but he won’t let me in other times. It’s a little frustrating.”

“He’s never dated, not really,” Roy said. “He may take some time to warm up.”

“I know all about Matthew. Trust me, he’s told me all about the guy. I think he’s still in love with him.” Wes smiled pensively. “I’m used to it. Guys tire of me pretty quickly. I’m pretty boring.”

Roy furrowed his brow. “You are not, Wes. Don’t say things like that.”

Wes smiled and took a drink. “You don’t know me very well yet. Guys date me, fuck me, and then move on. My history with men isn’t pretty.”

“Well, my experience isn’t too much different from yours. I’ve dated quite a few guys and in the end they all left,” Roy said, choking up. “I hope that’s changed now.”

“Chad isn’t like most guys,” Wes said patting the other man’s hand. “He adores you. It’s really obvious. He loves you.”

“I know. I love him too,” Roy said, and breathed deeply. “Now, where is he?”

“Where is who?” Chad said from the hallway. “I’m here and I brought company with me.” Chad moved to the side and standing behind him was a short, spare, thin faced man with a fedora in his hands. He was fiddling with the brim of the hat and had a sheepish grin on his lips.

“Oh, hi,” Roy said, getting up from the table. “I’m Roy. You are?”

“This is Silas Morgan. He came up to see me. Since he doesn’t have anywhere else to go today, I invited him for dinner,” Chad said. His face looked calm, but his eyes were wary.

“Welcome,” Roy said, reaching over to offer his hand. The man leaned forward and shook it. Roy noticed his palm was cold and sweaty, his grip flimsy and tentative. He looked, and felt, like a cold dead fish.

There was an oppressive silence in the room. Nobody knew what to say next.

“I’m Wes,” the young man said, standing and offering his hand.

“I heard Chad’s voice…” Peterson said as he walked in from the living room. “What the-?”

“Peterson, this is Silas Morgan,” Chad said. Peterson didn’t say a word at first. He stared at the other man, his eyes growing larger. His crossed one was trained on the man like never before.

“I, um, hello again, Silas,” Peterson said haltingly.

“Good to see you, Horace,” the man responded. Chad looked at Roy, his mouth wide open. Roy looked at Wes. Wes’ mouth was pursed tightly.

“Do you two know each other?” Wes asked. He looked pale.

“Yeah, we met through the Orphans’ Table,” Silas said, his face broke into a sunny grin. “It’s been a long time.”

“It has,” Peterson said. He smiled and gave the man a big hug. “How’re you doing these days?”

“What is the Orphans’ Table?” Wes demanded. He looked as though he was about to cry.

“That’s a long story,” Silas said, pulling away from Peterson, who was now beaming.

“Let’s hear it,” Chad said, finally closing his mouth. “I never knew you’d been to Council Bluffs.”

“I haven’t,” Peterson said. He stepped over and threw his arm around Wes’ shoulders. “This is my boyfriend, Wes.” Wes looked over at him and smiled. “Silas, maybe you should explain.”

“Let’s sit down at the table. I’ll get everyone some hot cider,” Roy said, breaking out of his shock.

Roy and Chad got coffee mugs filled with the steaming, cinnamon scented beverage and brought them to each guest. Peterson still had his arm around Wes, but he was beaming at Silas. Roy looked at Chad for some kind of answer, but the mechanic shrugged his own confusion.

“I guess I’ll begin,” Silas said, taking a sip from the mug. “It all started about ten years ago. A bunch of us were sitting around the Steam Engine before Easter and talking about how we didn’t have plans for the holiday.”

“Who are you talking about?” Chad asked. “Do I know any of them?”

“I’m sure you do. It was Jeanine and her girlfriend, Peggy, Steven, Tommy and me.” Silas responded. “Steven is the Methodist church organist. Peggy owns a tattoo parlor and her girlfriend works at the grocery store.”

“I know them. Are you talking about Tommy Jensen, the Steam Engine bartender?” Chad asked.

“Yeah. Anyway, Steven’s family doesn’t speak to him. Jeanine’s family doesn’t want Peggy around and so she doesn’t go to their gatherings anymore. Tommy’s family is pretty far away, Seattle I think. I am never very comfortable at my sister’s. She’s fine with me, but that husband of hers acts strange when I show up.”

“Wow, I never would have guessed Tommy was gay,” Chad said.

“Yeah, he’s always had a big crush on you, by the way,” Silas said, chuckling at Chad’s bewildered face.

“Too late, Chad. Roy already caught you,” Wes said, cuddling closer to Peterson.

“I’m sorry,” Chad said, shaking his head. “Go on.”

Silas smiled and nodded. “I invited everyone to have Easter at my house. Why sit alone and stew when you can have some company and have a little party?”

“So, this group is called the Orphans’ Table?” Wes asked.

“It started out as a joke. Will, that’s Stephen’s boyfriend, said since their families treated them like orphans, they should have an orphan’s holiday, like kids without parents do. Somehow we started calling it the Orphan’s Table since we all gathered and had a feast together.” Silas paused and took another drink. “This is really good cider.”

“Thanks,” Roy said. “So how did this group introduce you to Peterson?”

“Oh, that.” Silas chuckled. “Stephen’s boyfriend, Will, lives up here in Jordan. He’s a trucker who only gets to visit him once a month. He has kids and so it’s hard for him to get away. Stephen and I drove up to spend a long weekend. Will introduced us.”

“So, you two dated?” Wes asked. Peterson laughed.

“I wouldn’t say ‘dated’ is the right term,” Silas said, blushing. “We had a fun weekend together.”

Roy looked over to see Wes was scowling and Peterson still had the goofy grin on his face. Chad was fidgeting in his chair. He needed to find out what was needling Chad so badly and why Silas was here.

“Well, it’s nice when old friends can get together. Why don’t you guys go into the living room and catch up? Chad, I think the turkey might be done. Can you check on it?” Roy said.

“Sure,” Chad said, getting up. Peterson and Silas got out of their chairs and walked toward the living room. Wes followed, looking lost and rather sad. Roy had to pull away from watching the young man struggle. He’d deal with Wes later.

“Okay, so who is he and why did you invite him?” Roy asked in a hushed voice. “Is this the guy you got the letter from?”

“It is,” Chad said, pulling the turkey out to look at it. “It looks perfect. Make space on the table for it, will you?”

“Okay, but who is this guy?” Roy demanded.

Chad turned and looked at him. “This is before we met, right?”

“Were you guys?” Roy asked, afraid of the answer.

Chad shook his head. “Silas was a drinking buddy, well, not even really a buddy. We had a drink or two together and he was the first person I ever met who was gay. After That Night,” Chad said, ducking his head, “He wasn’t very nice to me. He came up to apologize.”

Roy grimaced and shook his head. “That man didn’t drive six hours on Thanksgiving day to say he was sorry. Chad, who is he?”

“He’s really no one to me, Roy. I’m with you now. I told him before we came here that you are my partner, my exclusive, one of a kind, boyfriend, okay? He knows there is nothing between us.” Chad set the turkey on a couple of trivets. He pulled off the oven mitts and took Roy by the shoulders. “Silas was in love with me. I never returned that feeling. He got hurt and we both said some things. He’s all in the past, not that he was ever really anything to me.”

“Were you guys? I mean, did you…?” Roy couldn’t finish the question.

“If you’re asking if I had Peterson’s sloppy seconds, the answer is ‘no’. Silas and I weren’t ever an item.”

Roy’s shoulders relaxed. “Okay, so he knows and is out of the picture?”

“He was never in the picture, especially now,” Chad said. “You’re all I want. Got it, Roy Toy?”

Roy blushed and kissed Chad, it stretched out a bit until the doorbell rang.

Their last guests had arrived.

*****

“That was delicious. I can see why you get so excited about the big bird,” Angus laughed and patted his overextended stomach.

“It was much better than Gunner’s efforts,” Adam teased. Gunner gave him a dirty look.

All the men were sitting back in their chairs, looking at the leftovers with bloated satisfaction.

“What do we do now?” Angus asked, looking around the table.

“We nap,” Peterson said, pulling Wes a little tighter.

“I’m gonna watch the game,” Roy said. “After I get this all put away.”

“Justin and I always toss around the pigskin,” Chad offered. “But I’ll help Roy first.”

“You blokes really only hooked up this past week?” Gunner asked. “I could’ve sworn you two were a couple.”

“Another one bites the dust,” Angus chuckled. “I’m glad I’m still free as a bird.” He looked around at the three couples with some satisfaction.

“I should probably go,” Silas said, wiping his mouth. “It’s a long drive home.”

“It’s only two o’clock,” Angus said. “We can’t break up the party already.”

“He has a six hour drive,” Wes said, pulling Peterson’s arm around him. Peterson gave him a concerned look. “I’m just saying.”

“I’d probably fall asleep at the wheel if I left now,” Silas said. “I’ll watch Detroit lose first.”

They all laughed except the Aussies. After the pathetic record of the Lions for the past ten years was explained, they laughed too. Soon, Roy and Chad had the food packed away into the fridge and all the guys were lounging around in the living room watching the game and talking quietly.

“This is boring,” Angus announced, edging forward on the sofa. “What’s that you said about throwing around a pig?”

Chad laughed. “I meant throw around the football. Are you up for it?”

“I’m ready to move,” Angus said, flashing a big grin.

The two men went out to throw around the old football Roy had sitting in his living room closet. It was partially deflated, but the two guys didn’t seem to mind. Adam and Gunner drifted out into the chilly bright fall air to watch them.

Leaves were in piles on the front lawn. Most of the trees were bare, except for the big red maple which was hanging onto its last ones for dear life. After about twenty minutes of Angus running and jumping into the dry leaves, clutching the football like a lover, Adam and Gunner joined them. Wes came out and Roy followed. They stood and watched as the four grown men tossed the ball back and forth, dashing and diving into the leaves. All the guys were laughing and before long, a few neighbor kids were coming around to watch.

“Think fast,” Angus said, tossing the ball straight up above Chad’s head. Chad stepped forward, watched as it fell, and grabbed it. He made a feint to the left as Angus moved to tackle him. The Aussie slid on the damp grass and fell over onto his knee.

“Hey,” Angus whined, “That’s not right. I’m going to get your boyfriend.” Angus grinned at Roy and went barreling after Chad. The other two rugby players quickly caught the mechanic and wrestled him to the ground. They stripped him of the ball and fell laughing into a pile.

“This is better than any scrum,” Gunner called out. “It’s a softer landing.”

“Where’s Peterson?” Roy asked Wes, elbowing him and laughing out loud.

“He’s sleeping.” Wes was laughing too. The quiet afternoon had turned into a burst of playful energy.

“Guys, I’m taking off,” Silas appeared at Roy’s side. “I appreciate the dinner and everything.”

“No problem,” Roy said, slapping him on the shoulder. Silas winced and grimaced. “You okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine. Just a little arthritis. Thanks again, and Roy,” Silas said, taking the other man’s arm. Roy ducked down and the English teacher whispered into his ear. “I have no designs on your man. You make Chad look happier than I’ve ever known him.”

“That’s good to hear. It was great meeting you,” Roy said. “Keep in touch.”

“I will,” Silas said. He waved at Wes, who only kind of flapped his hand a little in return, and walked to his car. Roy watched as he started to get in, only to be stopped by something. Silas looked up toward the house and stared.

“Look out,” Roy heard from behind him. He turned just in time to have Chad crash into him, Angus hot on his heels.

“Hey! I’m not part of this,” Roy said, laughing as Chad hugged him tight. Angus stopped and leaned over breathing hard.

“How come this old man is so well conditioned? I’m ready to pass out,” the ginger haired man gasped.

“I exercise him daily,” Roy said loudly. “Having a boyfriend does have some benefits.”

“No thanks,” Angus said, standing up. “I like playing the field. No reason to settle when there is a feast of men ready for sampling.” Roy saw him wink at Wes who shook his head acting disgusted.

“I better check on Peterson,” Wes said. He trotted back toward the house.

Chad threw the ball over Gunner’s head to Adam. “Score!” he shouted and picked Roy up in triumph.

“I don’t think we should do that out here,” Roy said, gesturing over at the four kids watching and giggling at the goofy men playing in the leaves.

“Maybe not,” Chad said, putting him down.

“Where is he?” Wes shouted, coming out from the house. “Is he out here?”

“Who?” Roy shouted back.

“Peterson. He was in the chair sleeping and now he’s gone,” Wes said as he came closer. “Is he out here playing around with the guys?”

“I don’t see him. Maybe he’s in the bathroom,” Roy said.

“He’s not. I checked there,” Wes said. His face was flush and his breathing was shallow and fast. He looked out on the street. “His car is gone I think. Fuck!”

“I’m sure he ran down to the convenience store or something,” Roy said, looking at Chad. Chad swallowed and shrugged. “Give him a call.”

“I know where he is,” Wes said. “This always happens to me. Everybody leaves.”