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The Art of Being Gay - 12. The Island of Misfit Toys

Okay, we have a first kiss in this chapter. I don't know what it means, but I hope you enjoy it.

The Island of Misfit Toys

The first thing Chad noticed as he drove into the parking lot was the enormous pair of neon carnations sticking out from the corner of the brownstone building. One was a lurid green and the other lemon yellow. Painted on the side of the building was a stenciled script that warned, 'Parking for Wilde's Tavern Only, All Others will be Towed'.

He was used to seeing those signs when in either Minneapolis or St. Paul where limited space was jealously guarded. Chad had silently wondered about that.

"How do they know you are in their establishment?" He asked Roy, pointing at the sign. "I don't see any attendants or cameras here. What if they start towing people randomly?"

"It's like those, 'Don't Walk on the Grass' signs in the middle of a park. They hope people heed the warning. I doubt it's enforced much," Roy grinned.

"I got towed once and they had to pay me for the fees," Peterson said, drawing near the other two men. "It was a pain in the ass, though. I had to show them my credit card receipt with the time and date on it before they coughed up the money."

"I hope that doesn't happen tonight," Chad said, looking at each of his friends.

"I'll tell the host or someone inside. It should be fine," Roy said.

They started walking toward the front of the building. As they passed under the big neon signs, Chad noticed Peterson was briefly green in the glow of the light while Roy was a shiny yellow. He shivered a little and though it was a pretty chilly November evening, it wasn't from the cold.

Standing on the far side of the big double doors in the middle of the building was a man, rather short and slim, looking intently at his phone, biting his lip. He was only wearing a suit coat and jeans, like a young, hip office worker out for a meeting with his posse. His face was masked with shadows that weren't friendly in any way.

As the men neared the front doors, the hipster looked up. He moved toward them with purpose. As the light from the storefront bathed his face, Roy called out, "Wes, jeez, is that you?"

Wes grinned as he approached, his eyes scanning Roy and Chad with a quick nod. Then his attention settled on Peterson. The friendly grin became a goofy smile, radiant and hopeful.

"I didn't want to miss you," he said shoving his phone in his coat pocket. "It's pretty busy in there."

"Are you wearing a tie?" Roy asked unnecessarily. The waiter nodded and stepped back holding out his arms.

"I am. Do you like it?" Wes asked Peterson.

"Boy!" Chad exclaimed loudly. "You clean up good. Where is the club kid we met at Danglers?"

"He has two jobs. One is juggling drinks two nights a week. The other works at a tech support place downtown. You get to meet Office Wes tonight."

Wes' happy look began to slip as he stood there in the awkward silence that followed. Peterson didn't say anything. He seemed dazed. Roy nudged him. Wes let his arms drop and seemed to shrink a little bit.

"Um," Peterson said slowly. "You look very nice this evening."

Roy looked at Chad and grimaced. Wes gave them a tentative half smile and shivered. "Should we go in? I'm a little cold."

"Yeah, it's cold," Peterson said abruptly. He opened the door and nodded to the younger man. "After you."

Wes sighed, relieved and touched Peterson's shoulder. "Thank you."

Peterson winced at the contact, and a tense, forced grin crossed his face but only for a moment. Then he seemed to scowl.

They followed Wes inside. It was busy; people milled around the open space, chatting and laughing in small groups. The tavern had a long, shiny stainless steel bar along the length of the establishment. Bottles of liquor awash in light lined shelves behind bartenders who scurried from patron to patron. There were television screens in every corner and on the walls throughout the place.

It felt warm and inviting. The four men stood uncomfortably at the edge of things, wondering what to do.

"Should we find a table?" Wes turned and asked them.

"Do you see one?" Roy asked. Peterson was looking everywhere but at the young man, his date for the evening.

"How about over there?" Wes pointed to a four top in the far corner. It wasn't easy to see sandwiched between a long table of boisterous men hooting and clinking glasses and another table with five men looking rather bored, glaring at the big table.

"Looks good to me," Chad said, rubbing his hands together. "Do we get drinks ourselves or are there waiters here?"

"It’s serve yourself on trivia nights," Roy answered. He leaned in and whispered into Chad's ear. "Take Peterson with you and find out why he's such a fence post all of a sudden. He's hurting Wes' feelings."

"I know. What is his deal?" Chad responded in the red haired man's ear.

They snaked their way through the tables and excited customers, only getting bumped a few times. Wes stood at the table beside the chair and looked as Roy sat down. "What are you guys having?" He looked at Peterson and then getting no response, he shrugged unhappily.

"Chad, I'll take a whiskey coke," Roy said. "Peterson? What're you having?"

The blond man pushed his glasses up on his nose and his Adam's apple bobbed a few times as he swallowed. "I'm having beer." He made a smacking sound and then ran his tongue over his lips.

"Coming right up," Wes said, trying to get the man's attention.

"No!" Peterson said, a little too loudly. "I'll get your drink. It's your night off."

Wes smiled. "I did ask you out. I should pay."

"I said I'd get it," Peterson groused, looking at the table top. "Come on." The blond man grabbed Chad's arm, pulling him toward the bar.

"Ask him what he wants," Chad said in Peterson's ear. "What's wrong with you?"

"Oh. Um, Wes? You are drinking?"

Wes looked at Roy, confused. After a moment he looked back at Peterson and asked for a cider.

"We'll be right back," Chad said as Wes pulled out the chair and sat down. The last image he had of the young man was of him pulling out his phone.

The two men walked past the rowdy table just as one man turned, splashing them with a spray of beer.

"Sorry about that mate," he said, brushing Chad's coat. "Oh, hey there!"

It was Adam from the gym and the rugby team. He looked completely different in a dress shirt and slacks with his hair slicked back and clean shaven.

"We made it," Chad said with a grin.

"That's brilliant," the ginger haired man said, giving him a bear hug. "Are you joining us?"

"We're at that table right over there," Chad said, pointing at Roy who was staring at Wes as he stared at his phone.

"Even better!" Adam laughed. "Are you playing trivia tonight? If you aren't, maybe you can tell us some of the answers."

"Can we get the drinks now?" Peterson said, tugging on Chad's sleeve.

"Sure. We can chat later," the mechanic said, slapping the big guy's beefy shoulder.

"Cheers!" Adam said, taking a drink from his mug. "It's the blokes from Adonis." The other guys cheered hearing that.

Peterson pulled an annoyed Chad away from the table.

"What's with you?" Chad asked, a little pissed.

"What is he doing? Why did he ask me here?" Peterson ran his hand through his hair. He looked scared, his cheeks blotchy and red.

"He wanted to go out with you, get to know you," Chad said, pulling away from the other man's grasping hand. "Why are you being so rude?"

Peterson didn't respond. He stepped up to the bar and waved to a busy bartender who smiled and then ignored him.

The blond man turned and said, "This isn't what I was expecting. I thought I'd be meeting with Wes the goofy, flirty little waiter guy. That's not who he is."

Chad looked at him and snorted. "I think he looks pretty nice. Is he really that different?"

Peterson looked at the other man like he was insane. "He's gorgeous, I mean absolutely stunning. And, he has a job, a real one. What does he want with me?"

Chad almost laughed at Peterson's insecurities but stopped himself. "He asked you out, you moron. He likes you. Why are you being so cold and distant? For Christ's sake, you are barely acknowledging him. He's your fucking date."

"He's not what I thought I was getting into," Peterson said, turning back around. "Can we get some service here?"

"Sorry about that," a cute dark haired bartender answered and stopped in front of them. "What are you guys having?"

Chad quickly ordered the drinks while Peterson glanced nervously over at the table. Wes was still immersed in his phone while Roy was chatting with Adam, Gunner, and another, even larger man who used his hands a lot while talking and laughing. The guy was named Angus, that’s right.

"God, he's so beautiful," Peterson said out loud.

"Maybe you should tell him that," Chad said, handing Peterson a bottle of cider and s bottle of beer. "If I were Wes, I'd be planning my escape route. He thinks you're mad at him. Look at how his shoulders are curled down."

"I am a moron, aren't I?" Peterson said, a bit of wonder in his tone.

"You are," Chad agreed. "Go make it up to him."

Peterson nodded and slipped quickly through the throng. Chad followed, smiling as he saw Roy laughing so loud he was slapping the table. What a great guy he was.

Chad handed Roy his cocktail and sat down. Peterson was still standing, looking at Wes doodle on his phone. He looked forlorn.

"Wes, I think Peterson has something for you," Chad said.

"Huh? Oh," Wes said, looking up. There was no smile on that face, not now.

"Can I start this night over?" Peterson asked, handing his date the cider. "I get really nervous sometimes. Especially when the best-looking guy I’ve ever met asks me out. I get tongue tied."

Roy looked at Chad with surprise. He leaned over and whispered. "That must have been some kind of pep talk you had with him."

"This wasn't me," Chad said, shivering from the man's breath on his neck.

A smile started small and then grew on Wes' face. "Thank you, but I'm hardly that. I would like to start over."

Peterson breathed out. He sat down and leaned over towards Wes. "Thank you. I'm new to this whole dating thing. I didn't handle it well."

Wes blushed, and he took the other man's hand. "I figured as much. That's why I called you. I didn't think you'd ever ask me out. Thank you."

Peterson seemed like a different person. While he was still rather awkward and said things without much finesse, Wes appeared to laugh it off and soaked it up. Roy and Chad watched in wonder.

"Will you guys be playing our trivia game tonight?" They heard someone ask.

"Do we want to?" Roy asked Chad. "I've played a couple times, but never did very well. It is fun though."

"What does it involve?" Chad turned and asked the handsome host who had an armful of tablets and a clipboard.

"It's pretty simple. I ask questions and you answer as fast as possible. It’s all done on that big screen up front. Each team is awarded points for both getting the answer correct and how quickly it's done. There is no charge and the winner gets a hundred dollar gift card for food and drinks here on non-trivia nights. Would you like to sign up?"

"Losers like Roy shouldn't bother!" A voice called from the table behind them. Roy and Chad looked up and even Peterson and Wes looked startled.

The trivia host shot an angry look over their heads. "Are you afraid of a little friendly competition, Boyd?"

"They're no competition, Gary." One of the men from the table stood up. He was about six foot tall, lanky, with long black hair. He was smirking evilly at Roy, swaying slightly.

"Why do you care then?" Roy asked. "If we're no threat, you should welcome the chance to beat us."

"Little bitches like you aren't fun to play against." The man crossed his arms, swaying a little. "What do we have here? Tonight Roy brings his usual crop of misfits and creeps. I see a dweeb with a lazy eye and a hick who probably has trouble spelling the word 'trivia'. Who's this here? Ah, yes, the pierced circus freak who whores himself out at the dollar strip club. Sounds like the kind of lowlife scum Roy usually attracts."

"Boyd, enough," the host said with a scowl. "There is no reason to insult these men."

"If they're hanging with Judas Iscariot, there is," Boyd said.

"What's wrong, babe?" A shorter blond man in a sleek black sweater asked, putting his arm around Boyd, steadying him.

"Remember the guy I told you about who outed me in high school? This is the guy," he said loudly.

The people at the tables around them murmured with someone calling out, "fucker!"

"I apologized to you a long time ago, Boyd. I was a teenager when it happened. God, man, it was over twenty years ago," Roy said. Chad put his hand on his friend's arm.

"Mate, we're all here to play a game and have some fun. Let it go." It was Adam and next to him was the other huge ginger haired guy, Angus, looking at Boyd angrily.

"Shut your pie hole, meathead. If you had to endure what I did, you wouldn't stand up and defend this prick."

"Babe, I think you should sit down. Maybe some water or a coke?" The man attached to Boyd said.

"I'm fine," Boyd answered, his slur quite obvious now.

"Maybe we should go," Peterson said, looking around. There were several angry faces glaring at them.

"No," Roy said firmly. "I apologized and I thought this was all in the past. I'm done running from him when he gets polluted."

"We’ll stay," Chad said, patting Roy’s arm. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Roy said looking around bravely. "I'm not the only person to make a mistake when I was a kid. I owned up to it and I'm sorry about it. That doesn't give him a right to bash me when he gets loaded."

The looks withered away at Roy's pronouncement. He looked up at the trivia host and told him they would play. Gary handed him a tablet and the clipboard.

"Don't forget a team name," he said quietly. "Maybe something a little subtle."

Roy scribbled something down and handed it back to the host. Gary’s eyes widened a bit as he read the name. Then, he moved on to the rugby table. Adam took the clipboard and scribbled on it angrily, glaring at Boyd’s table.

"We've got the perfect name for tonight," he said loudly. Boyd snorted and waved him off.

Chad, Peterson, and Wes all looked at Roy with concern. Nobody wanted to ask the question. Roy wished he could let it go, but he couldn't. He had grown so tired answering the question whenever he encountered a drunken Boyd. It seemed a little unfair he never could escape his past.

"You want to know what that was all about, don’t you?" He asked them. He could feel Chad take his hand. Roy wanted to pull away. The comfort was too welcoming though. A nagging fear hovered and made him shiver. The fear was Chad would let go. Roy closed his eyes and started explaining.

"When I was fourteen, a freshman in high school, Boyd Carter was one of my closest friends. He was a year older, but we'd grown up in the same neighborhood and had the same group of friends. One night, Boyd and I were hanging out in his garage. He had a few skin magazines and we were pretending we were so cool looking at them. There were two Playboys, a Penthouse, and a Hustler magazine."

"Is this a teenage jack off story?" Peterson asked, rolling his eyes. Chad kicked him in the shin. "Ouch!"

"No. I wish," Roy said, his eyes downcast. "Boyd was looking at the Playboys which never really interested me because they only had women. Hustler’s had naked men sometimes but what I really liked were the Penthouse forum stories. Almost every issue had an account of guys fooling around together. Those stories always got to me. I think we both got a little riled up."

"I've never looked at porn in a magazine," Wes said. "Wasn't it weird looking at them together?"

Roy nodded. "It did get weird. Later that afternoon we were playing Nintendo and got to joking around. We started wrestling and he won, pinning me. That's when he kissed me. It freaked me out. I pushed him off and ran home."

"Was it because you liked it?" Peterson asked.

"I didn't think so at the time. That night I dreamed of another boy in my class and when he kissed me, it did feel good. Well, in my dream anyway." Roy said.

"Is that when you knew you were gay?" Chad asked. Instead of letting Roy's hand go, the mechanic was holding it even tighter. Roy smiled at him and wanted to kiss him in thanks.

"I knew my feelings were different from other boys. I didn't know exactly how or why. I also knew Boyd seriously scared me. That feeling affected the way I looked at him."

"So you outed him?" Wes sounded pissed.

"I did, but I didn't do it to spite him. Some guys at school were calling me a homo and the more they described it, well me, the more terrified I became. Finally, after some pushing around one day at lunch, I blurted it out. I said Boyd was the gay one in our school not me." Roy could feel his chin quivering as those feelings came rushing back.

"You wanted them to leave you alone," Chad said, rubbing Roy's arm.

"They wouldn't stop and so I did the shittiest thing ever. I threw Boyd to the wolves. They went after him, big time. I was so ashamed. The worst part was how relieved I felt that they left me alone.”

"That sucks," Peterson said. "I was bullied in school but no one ever called me gay. If they had, I don't know what I'd have done."

"Are you okay, Roy?" Chad whispered in his ear. "I'm sorry you had to relive that."

"Obviously you eventually came out. Did they ever come after you?" Wes asked. His demeanor had mellowed listening to the story and watching Roy come unglued.

"For three months I felt so guilty watching them target Boyd, it tore me up inside. Eventually my mom confronted me and I spilled the whole thing, being gay, outing Boyd, and how it was making me sick. She talked to me about how I betrayed my friend's trust. I realized the guilt wouldn't get any better unless I did something to make amends."

"How can you make something like that better?" Wes asked, his voice soft and curious now.

"You can't, so I did the next best thing. I came out. Not just to friends or people I thought would be cool about it. I came out in a blaze of glory diverting all attention away from Boyd. I became the gayest gay boy the school had ever known. At first they tried to harass us both, but I wouldn't let them. I was so in their faces, Boyd was forgotten. It was my penance. It wasn't enough. I know that. I broke our bond of trust. That couldn't be repaired.

“I thought he had forgiven me though. I think maybe he had until a few years ago when Boyd started doing this whenever we saw each other."

Roy stopped talking and looked down at Chad's hand still firmly grasped in his. Chad smiled at him. Roy almost jumped at the fiery look in the mechanic's eyes.

"I'd say you did what you could," Peterson said.

"You're right, Roy. You owned up to it and he should forgive you," Wes said. He was leaning into Peterson. The blond man wasn't pulling away for once.

"Maybe we should go," Roy said. "I'm not feeling like a party right now."

"To hell with that!" Adam shouted from behind. "We're gonna kick some Gay Team ass."

"What's the gay team?" Wes asked.

"The arrogant bitches sitting with Boyd. You wanna see meathead? We'll give it to you!" The red head said loudly.

"Bring it on," Boyd slurred. "We'll wipe the floor with both the misfits and the meatheads. Or, are you too yellow and scared to try?"

Roy looked at his friends, first Peterson whose face was red with anger. Then he noticed Wes was scowling over at Boyd's table. But, it was the look of steely resolve in Chad's eyes and the tight grip on his hand that made him nod to them and say, "Let's wipe the floor with those assholes."

******
"Wilde's Saturday Night trivia will start in a few moments," Gary said into the mike at the edge of a very small stage in the corner. "Here is how it works. Each team has a tablet where they write their answers to trivia questions. After you write in the answer, you must press enter and it will be locked in with the time. You get ten points for the right answer and fractions of fifty points for how quickly you answer. Players with smartphones need to move fast because the time ticks off quickly," Gary laughed. The crowd tittered along with him.

"There are five rounds of ten questions each. There are a possible 3000 points total. Our categories tonight are Metal Heads, Terrible Twos, What Is That?, The War, and our final round will be Anagrams Are Sexy. I'll give you all a few more minutes to organize yourselves and then we'll start. We'll see if someone can break The Gay Team's streak tonight. This would be their fourth week in a row, a record if they can do it."

Their host put the microphone back in the holder and leaned down to chat with someone.

"I hope we don't embarrass ourselves. I'm not much of a trivia player," Chad said to the others.

"I'm pretty good, but I don't know what those categories mean," Peterson said.

"I won't be much help," Wes said, shrugging. "It should be fun though."

Roy tried not to look over at Boyd's table. It was hard with them giggling and pointedly gesturing at them. "We’ll do our best."

"Let's get started," the trivia host said. "Here are the teams for the night. The Gay Team, Womyn Making History, The Meatheads."

Roy and the others turned and looked at Adam, Gunner, Angus and the other rugby guys who all cheered at their name. They hooted and waved their fists at Boyd's team who responded with hisses of "Neanderthals." That made the red haired man even more determined to win.

"...Felicity's Pussy, and last but not least, we have The Island of Misfit Toys."

Roy quickly stood up and started cheering. "Is that us?" Wes said through the noise.

"I guess so," Peterson said, then smiled. "I like it." The other three stood up and joined Roy, shouting "hoot, hoot, hoot!" and smiling spitefully at Boyd's table.

After they settled back down, they heard Boyd's boyfriend say loudly, "Lonesome Losers is more like it."

"Let's show them," Roy said, smirking at his friends.

And the game started.

"What metal gets its periodic table name from the Latin word aurum, meaning shining dawn? It's also the last name of Jared the bartender's favorite porn star."

"It's gold," Peterson leaned over the table and whispered to Roy. "Write that in and hit enter."

"Are you sure? Isn't it goldium or something?" Chad said.

Roy entered the answer and hit enter. Their team name came popping up on the screen at number two, right under The Gay Team.

"Did we get it right?" Wes asked.

"You don't know until time runs out, dumbass," a friend of Boyd's snarled. "I doubt you morons knew the right answer anyway."

"Shut your face, Terry," they heard a thick Australian accent say. It was Angus snarling at them. The guy he called Terry stuck out his tongue and turned back to his friends.

"Don't let them get in your head," Angus said to Roy and Chad. "That's half their game."

"Time's up. Our next question is; this band had its first big hit from the album, 'Piece of Mind,' called The Flight of Icarus. It's also what Todd the barback's ex called him when he wouldn't put out."

The crowd all roared and looked to the bar. Sure enough, the young guy washing glasses had turned red as a fire hydrant.

"I know this," Chad said excitedly. "It's Iron Maiden."

Roy quickly tapped out the answer and hit enter. The Island of Misfit Toys popped up first, followed by The Meatheads. Lower on the list was The Gay Team who were now starting to snap at one another.

"Settle down, guys," Boyd slurred. "It's early and of course Roy's Truck Stop trick knows the answer."

"Ignore them," Roy said. "We're gonna kick their asses."

As it turned out, each guy had their specialty. Peterson turned out to be 'the Ringer' as Roy called him. He seemed to pull obscure facts right out of his butt, sometimes at the last minute, but often right away as well.

Roy was great at general knowledge questions while Chad piped in with some answers seemingly at random. Wes wasn't much help except with the pop culture questions. He seemed to know who Miley Cyrus was dating and Prince Harry’s favorite brand of underwear, much to Peterson's surprise.

"You haven't seen Harry's underwear have you?" He asked his date with a grin.

"Not on my bedroom floor I haven't. Not yet at least," Wes shot right back. Peterson looked rather troubled after that until Wes kissed him on the mouth and whispered in his ear.

At first, it seemed The Gay Team couldn't lose. Even after Peterson and The Meatheads smoked them on a couple of questions in the first round, the second and third rounds were when Boyd's team took a big lead in points. The fourth round evened things up a bit. The final round was quite different. By the last question, The Gay Team was forty points in the lead. The Meatheads took second ten points ahead of their table. It would take a miracle for The Island of Misfit Toys to even tie it up.

The final question was called out by Gary and The Gay Team was already celebrating their win. "In the city of seven sisters, what author wrote of a character who is 'A Man and a Girl'?"

Frantic whispers filled the room. Roy was shocked as Peterson pulled the tablet over in front of him. They watched as he tapped out and hit enter, their name bouncing up in the screen as the first team to answer.

"That was rude," Chad said.

Roy hushed him and smiled at his blond haired friend. "We just looked at it this evening didn't we?"

"Yep, sometimes it pays to be a big old nerd," Peterson said. Wes tugged at his sleeve and his date whispered something in his ear. Wes turned red, smacked Peterson, who in turn started laughing out loud.

"What did you say to him?" Chad asked.

Peterson smirked, a little pink himself. "I wouldn't tell him the answer until he promised something in return."

"And what was that Wes?" Roy asked.

"I'll tell you later," the young man said, his voice a little hoarse.

Behind them, a hushed argument was breaking out. "I'm telling you it's Proust, not Dante!"

"Seven sisters, seven hills, goddamnit, it's a Roman author."

"It's the colleges, the women's colleges, so it's obviously Gertrude Stein. It's from her, I swear!" Boyd said, ending their discussion. "I remember the reference from her Toklas book."

They entered the reference and it popped onto the screen right after The Meatheads.

After the other teams answered, Roy grabbed Chad's hand underneath the table. Chad looked at him and smiled. Wes and Peterson moved closer together.

"The answer, of course, is Armistead Maupin in 'More Tales in the City'," Gary announced. The landlady Anna Madrigal created her name from that phrase. Let's see the points now."

"Fucking A-" Boyd yelled out behind them. "That's bullshit!"

As the screens changed, both the rugby playing team and Roy's table stood up and cheered. The Gay Team, The Meatheads, and The Island of Misfit Toys were tied up. It looked like the returning champions were about to bite the dust.

Boyd was up and running to the front. "The seven sisters aren't those houses in San Francisco. It's the women's colleges you dumbass. Everybody knows that. Are you that stupid?" He screamed at Gary.

Gary nodded to the bouncer who had run over to intercept Boyd. "The Gay Team is disqualified due to abusive language and behavior. The tiebreaker between The Meatheads and The Island of Misfit Toys will start in ten minutes. It's another anagram question."

Gary turned off the mike and grabbing Boyd's other arm, pulled the man still yelling obscenities out towards the exit.

"I hope you're happy," a voice squawked at them. They looked up to see Boyd's boyfriend gathering his things and looking none too happy. "You, you self-loathing faggot did this to him." He pointed directly at Roy.

"Leave him alone," Wes said sharply. "Your man is a mess. Take him home and dry his drunken ass out."

The man snorted and picked up a scarf. He stepped over to Peterson and tapped him on the shoulder. "I hope you have all your shots. This whore's been hanging off the tackle of half the men in this town. Come to think of it, you're one of the better looking ones and isn't that sad." He stood up straight and marched out of the bar behind the rest of his team.

He disappeared out the door with a squealing Boyd still calling out, "It's Stein, I swear. They're wrong!" Wes turned to Peterson and looked at him nervously.

"It's not true. I'm not like that." Wes' eyes shone as they began to water.

"Don't worry about it. I don't believe sore losers like that," Peterson said.

"Trust me, they’re no better at being winners, mates," Adam called out from the rugby table. "Are you ready for the tiebreaker?"

"Hell, yeah!" Chad said loudly. Roy just nodded, his eyes glued to his drink. Chad put his hand on his friend's arm. "You can't listen to people like that."

"I did fuck him up." Roy's voice was low and dull sounding.

"You were fourteen years old. It's been over twenty years. If he's fucked up after all this time, it's on him, not you." Chad took Roy's hand again underneath the table. "You know I'm right."

"I know," Roy said, giving him a half smile. "Thank you."

“Here’s the tiebreaker people,” Gary said. “Only the two teams playing can answer. Keep it to yourself if you’re not on The Meatheads or The Island of Misfit Toys, okay?”

There was a quiet that settled throughout the crowd. It was especially noticeable given Boyd’s outburst and the noisy commentary that had ensued. Roy and Chad huddled together while Wes and Peterson leaned over close.

"What former mayor of Carmel saw a lot of Old West Action?" Gary asked.

“Former mayor of where?” Roy asked in a harsh whisper. “Who the hell knows that?”

“I think I know this,” Peterson said. “I can’t remember his name but I can picture his face. He was in that movie, Gran Camino.”

“Gran Camino?” Wes said. “You mean Gran Torino?”

“Yeah, what is the guy’s name?” Peterson hissed in frustration.

“Oh, that’s Clint Eastwood,” Chad said. “I love that movie.”

“Quick, punch it in before they do,” Wes said excitedly.

Roy began tapping out the letters and Chad looked up. “Shit!” he swore.

“Did they get it already?” Roy asked.

“They answered it. I don’t know if they got it right or not.”

“My fingers are like sausages,” Roy moaned. Finally, he hit enter and their team name popped up right behind The Meatheads.

“Okay, we have a winner. The answer is Clint Eastwood and The Meatheads have won tonight’s trivia,” Gary announced happily.

Adam, Gunner, and Angus jumped up and hugged one another. Roy and Chad nodded and stood up to clap.

“Good job,” Angus said, throwing his arm around Chad’s shoulders. “You guys almost beat us.”

“It was close,” Adam said, grinning deliriously. “We’ll share the bounty if you meet us here again, mates.”

“We can do that,” Roy said.

The bar room cleared out pretty quickly after the game was over. It was Saturday night and most of the patrons looked ready to head to the clubs for dancing and maybe a little more. Most of the rugby team finished up their beers and drinks and left as well.

Roy and Chad chatted quietly with Adam and Gunner about what playing rugby was like. They didn’t even notice that Peterson and Wes had disappeared shortly after the contest.

“Where did they go?” Angus came over and pointed to the two empty seats across from Roy and Chad.

“I don’t know,” Chad said, looking over at the bar.

“I wonder if Peterson’s getting a snog in the tea room,” Adam snorted, nodding toward the rest rooms.

“They were getting pretty cozy by the end of the game,” Roy chuckled.

“That’s a mystery I don’t want to solve,” Adam laughed, nodding at Gunner. “We have to go. Somebody invited a bunch of people over for brunch tomorrow morning and I have to get some sleep.”

“You said it was okay,” Gunner whined, which was an odd sound to hear coming from the big, beefy guy.

“We have practice this Thursday. You should come by and watch us,” Adam said to Chad, then turned to Roy. “Boyfriends are welcome too.”

Roy opened his mouth to answer. “We’ll be there,” Chad said quickly. He took Roy’s hand and firmly laced their fingers together. “See you in a couple of days.”

“Toodles,” the couple said and left the table.

“Now they think we’re a couple,” Roy said, looking with wonder at Chad.

Chad shrugged. “So what? Maybe that’s the impression I wanted to give them.”

“But-“ Roy began just as Chad’s lips met his. At first, they both didn’t move; their mouths touched chastely. Chad turned his head, only slightly and tickled Roy’s lips with his tongue. In surprise, Roy opened to accept. The kiss was tender, gentle, and seemed to go on without resolution.

“I’m green,” they heard and pulled apart with a jolt. “I’m fucking green with envy over you two. You have to be the cutest couple I’ve ever seen.”

It was Angus. He was staring at them, though his eyes weren’t focusing well. His head was even bobbing a little.

“Are you drunk, buddy?” Chad asked. He felt Roy abruptly pull his hand from his. It was cold and felt so empty.

“I’m getting there,” Angus smiled and lifted his half empty beer mug. His smile was wan and his eyes looked sad, forlorn.

“We’re best friends,” Roy said, sitting up straight and moving away from Chad. “We’re not a couple.”

“Oh, those kind of mates,” Angus chuckled slowly. “Maybe I could join you sometime.”

“We’re not, um, that is-“ Roy stuttered.

“Don’t worry about it. It wouldn’t be fun for me anyway,” Angus said, clunking his mug back on the table. He looked very alone sitting at the long empty table surrounded by all the empty bottles and empty chairs. There was so much emptiness that it seemed part of him.

“Do you need a lift home?” Chad asked. “I’ve been drinking pop for the last two hours.”

“No, I don’t want to interrupt,” Angus said, wiping his cheek. “Ignore me.”

Roy glanced at Chad. Then, he looked over at the big ginger headed guy whose chin was touching his chest. “You should go home. Let us take you.”

“I’m so lonely,” he said with a whimper. Suddenly, Angus shuddered and stood up, stretching his arms out in front of him. “Fuck that. I’m going downtown. Bye guys.”

And with that, he lumbered towards the front of the bar, struggling into his leather coat. Angus stumbled at the edge of a table, righted himself, and shrugged. He held his head up high and walked briskly out the door.

“That was sad.” Chad said. “I hope he’s okay.”

“I’m sure he is,” Roy said, turning back to him. He paused and put his hand on Chad’s, enjoying the feel of that warmth return. “Why did you kiss me?”

“Because I like you,” Chad said, clearing his throat. He had to get this out, once and for all.

“I like you too. Hell, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” Roy smiled, it wasn’t happy, it was grim. “I don’t want to fuck up this up with dating.”

“How do you know it will fuck this up?” Chad asked. His heart was bobbing into his throat. This wasn’t good.

“It always does,” Roy said. “I love you Chad. I love you as a friend. Let’s not ruin it with sex.”

Chad watched Roy’s eyes. They were looking right at him, and yet not. There was something brewing behind all the sincerity and the words. Instead of feeling awful, like he presumed he would with Roy rejecting him, he felt invigorated. He picked up Roy’s hand and kissed it, softly, slowly.

“If you think so,” he said. “I can wait.”

Roy’s eyes widened. “What does that mean? I don’t want to lose you as a friend.”

“You won’t,” Chad said. “We should head out. We both work in the morning.”

Roy nodded and realized something else happened. But what? Something changed between them. The world had realigned somehow and he’d missed it. The kiss they shared was nice, but nothing mind blowing. Their hands had been entwined, but it had been a trying night.

Roy shook off his confusion and got into his coat. Chad put his hand on his lower back, directing him towards the front. They walked together into the darkness. As they passed under the green and yellow neon lights, both men’s faces flickered with the colors. It was time to go home.

Oh my, what happened to Wes and Peterson? Where did they go? We'll find out next week. In the meantime, please feel free to stop by the forum thread and ask a question or give me an idea or tip. I'm open to any advice.
http://www.gayauthors.org/forums/topic/39364-the-art-of-being-gay/
Copyright © 2014 Cole Matthews; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
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Chapter Comments

Chad the supportive protector :wub: I was like, Wait, when did Chad become the confident one? and then I thought through the evenings events a little bit and it all made sense. Poor Roy, I'm pleased Chat could see through him. And good for Peterson for getting over his anxieties! I'm all warm and happy..

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On 11/07/2014 12:12 PM, Irritable1 said:
Chad the supportive protector :wub: I was like, Wait, when did Chad become the confident one? and then I thought through the evenings events a little bit and it all made sense. Poor Roy, I'm pleased Chat could see through him. And good for Peterson for getting over his anxieties! I'm all warm and happy..
Oh good! I'm glad that subtle shift worked. Chad was pushed a little in the last chapter. Fear of losing something precious can make us braver than we otherwise would be.

 

It feels good to read I made you feel good and cuddly! Yeah! Thanks so much Irri!

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I know what happened with Roy and Chad. And I know that there is hope there and that likely Chad won't give up. Yet I still feel rather morose...even sad. I wish that Roy didn't have to go through that at the bar with Boyd...and relive his personal shame. I thought that Chad was perfect in his support for Roy, his encouragement and his guts for baring his feelings. The sad thing is that Roy has no trust or faith in himself or Chad and when he thought of their kiss as nice but nothing special,I felt almost demoralized. It happens in our world that we get hurt so often that we close up easily and become bitter at times. We do this in the vein of cutting off our nose to spite our face and it in essence changes us to the core. I don't wish this for anyone and certainly not for Roy. This is not the art of being gay...this is the harshness of being gay. I don't mean to be doom and gloom because this story isn't that...it just triggered feelings and memories that have sometimes cost me and friends dearly. That fear to trust thing can be soul destroying. I WILL trust in Cole. As far as Wes and Peterson go...I hope they went somewhere happy together. Wes deserves it after the verbal beating he took from Boyd's partner. Well done Cole...Cheers...Gary

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On 11/07/2014 03:08 PM, Headstall said:
I know what happened with Roy and Chad. And I know that there is hope there and that likely Chad won't give up. Yet I still feel rather morose...even sad. I wish that Roy didn't have to go through that at the bar with Boyd...and relive his personal shame. I thought that Chad was perfect in his support for Roy, his encouragement and his guts for baring his feelings. The sad thing is that Roy has no trust or faith in himself or Chad and when he thought of their kiss as nice but nothing special,I felt almost demoralized. It happens in our world that we get hurt so often that we close up easily and become bitter at times. We do this in the vein of cutting off our nose to spite our face and it in essence changes us to the core. I don't wish this for anyone and certainly not for Roy. This is not the art of being gay...this is the harshness of being gay. I don't mean to be doom and gloom because this story isn't that...it just triggered feelings and memories that have sometimes cost me and friends dearly. That fear to trust thing can be soul destroying. I WILL trust in Cole. As far as Wes and Peterson go...I hope they went somewhere happy together. Wes deserves it after the verbal beating he took from Boyd's partner. Well done Cole...Cheers...Gary
Be of good cheer Gary! Think of how far Roy has come. He's engaged in a series of relationships that are quite healthy now. Growth is painful. I hope you don't think this is a downer. This story is the essence of being ourselves. That means both good and bad. Accepting our own weaknesses is a positive thing as well.

 

Thanks for the review! This story is a truly upbeat one. I swear!! :)

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I cheered when Boyd got thrown out. What an idiot, holding a grudge for so long. It hurts him as well as Roy, but he's too stupid to see that. Hence all the drinking and aggressive behavior.

Anyway, I was glad to see Chad man up and support Roy and make his feelings known. It will be fun to see Chad take the lead in their relationship rather that being guided by Roy.

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On 11/07/2014 06:47 PM, Timothy M. said:
I cheered when Boyd got thrown out. What an idiot, holding a grudge for so long. It hurts him as well as Roy, but he's too stupid to see that. Hence all the drinking and aggressive behavior.

Anyway, I was glad to see Chad man up and support Roy and make his feelings known. It will be fun to see Chad take the lead in their relationship rather that being guided by Roy.

You're right about it being self destructive to hold onto hurt like that. Chad needed to step up to the plate. Let's see if he can keep it up. Thanks so much for the review Tim! Much appreciated! :)
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Wow! Lots going on here!

--Chad pulls out his butch side, and takes the lead with Roy;

--Peterson suddenly becomes direct with his feelings toward his date;

--Roy, who's been the life of the party shows off his emotional side that he's kept burried as Chad's "guide";

--Roy and Chad are recognized as a couple, despite Roy's hesistancy; and

--Roy, Chad, and Peterson are all becoming more involved and building friendships in the community.

And Angus, the big lug....well, there's a part of me that hopes Angus will end up recognizing Peterson as something of a kindred spirit, and become his "protector" as well as romantic interest.

You did well juggling all of this!

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On 11/08/2014 03:42 AM, Robert Rex said:
Wow! Lots going on here!

--Chad pulls out his butch side, and takes the lead with Roy;

--Peterson suddenly becomes direct with his feelings toward his date;

--Roy, who's been the life of the party shows off his emotional side that he's kept burried as Chad's "guide";

--Roy and Chad are recognized as a couple, despite Roy's hesistancy; and

--Roy, Chad, and Peterson are all becoming more involved and building friendships in the community.

And Angus, the big lug....well, there's a part of me that hopes Angus will end up recognizing Peterson as something of a kindred spirit, and become his "protector" as well as romantic interest.

You did well juggling all of this!

Haha! It is a long chapter but i didnt realize so much had changed!! You put it into a great perspective. Chad got a scare. Roy faced something hard. Wes surprised and shocked Peterson. Thanks Robert for the awesome review! Much appreciated.
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Now I have a new favorite character: Angus And you have to make him happy! LOL I'm a sucker for big lonely guys. :wub:

I totally loved Chad in a leading role.

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On 11/08/2014 06:02 AM, aditus said:
Now I have a new favorite character: Angus And you have to make him happy! LOL I'm a sucker for big lonely guys. :wub:

I totally loved Chad in a leading role.

It was interesting making Roy the needy one and Chad feeling he had to step up to the plate. Angus is intriguing. I like the big lonely wolves too. Okay. You twisted my rubber arm. Now i have to find someone for him? Yikes! What next? Thanks Addy! ;)
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Damn emotional roller coaster! Dude you did good. Still can't figure out what you're doing with Peterson. Your writing on him seems jerky and disjointed. Is that the intent? Are you describing him by the way you write instead of with descriptions?

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On 11/08/2014 06:38 AM, Carlos Hazday said:
Damn emotional roller coaster! Dude you did good. Still can't figure out what you're doing with Peterson. Your writing on him seems jerky and disjointed. Is that the intent? Are you describing him by the way you write instead of with descriptions?
It was a difficult chapter to write given all i wanted to convey. As far as Peterson, his voice is so strong but it is awkward. He isnt good with social things.And i hope that using a kind of forced way of expressing him shows that. I try using idiosyncratic cues in characters to define them. Sounds like it makes him individual, which i hope is good. Thanks Carlos for the engaging review. :)
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Omg, I KNEW the last answer was Clint Eastwood!!!! That's the only answer I knew. lol

 

I'm so glad Peterson decided to 'start over the night' with Wes. But where the hell did they go? lol

 

Boyd was a total jackass, and as someone in the story said, it's been over twenty years; if he's not over it by now, then it's on him, and not Roy. Roy owned up to what he did, and he even came out in the process and got bullied also, taking the spotlight off Boyd. So Boyd should just stfu and leave Roy alone once and for all. So there! :devil:

 

I was a bit surprised that Roy kinda rejected Chad, even though he feels the same way. I guess it's out of fear -- fear of losing a best friend if things don't work out. Makes sense. But it's sad for Chad.

 

Speaking of sad, jeez, what's with poor Angus? That was sad! You need to find someone for Angus, ASAP, Cole!!!! :yes:

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On 09/23/2016 11:27 AM, Lisa said:

Omg, I KNEW the last answer was Clint Eastwood!!!! That's the only answer I knew. lol

 

I'm so glad Peterson decided to 'start over the night' with Wes. But where the hell did they go? lol

 

Boyd was a total jackass, and as someone in the story said, it's been over twenty years; if he's not over it by now, then it's on him, and not Roy. Roy owned up to what he did, and he even came out in the process and got bullied also, taking the spotlight off Boyd. So Boyd should just stfu and leave Roy alone once and for all. So there! :devil:

 

I was a bit surprised that Roy kinda rejected Chad, even though he feels the same way. I guess it's out of fear -- fear of losing a best friend if things don't work out. Makes sense. But it's sad for Chad.

 

Speaking of sad, jeez, what's with poor Angus? That was sad! You need to find someone for Angus, ASAP, Cole!!!! :yes:

Lisa, I had to reflect on gay dating in this chapter. I have found just being gay and attracted doesn't equal love, much like in the ordinary world. What's more, we don't always act nobly and with wisdom and grace. Sometimes we are rude, unkind, and need to consider our actions.

 

Roy isn't sure. Chad isn't either. Both are trying to reconcile their attraction and their friendship. Angus is lonely. Quite frankly, when I was writing this story, I wasn't sure where I would go. All I knew was heartbreak, and pain, needed to be part of the fruit of their own actions.

 

Thanks for the lovely review Lisa!!! I'm really enjoying it.

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On 10/30/2016 12:42 AM, Mikiesboy said:

I like this, Cole. It's real and honest. Youve made me care about all these guys!

I'm so glad you like it. I wanted to be as brutally honest yet keep it fresh and likeable. Thanks tim!

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With all of Boyd’s animosity toward Roy I wonder if he is in love with Roy, but won’t admit it? 
In one of Bob Smith’s books he has a Xmas party for gay friends that have nowhere else to go and he refers to it as the Island of Misfit Toys 

Edited by Bft
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