Jump to content

  • Join Gay Authors

    Join us for free and follow your favorite authors and stories.

    Headstall
  • Headstall
  • Author
  • 06/29/2015
  • 644 Words
  • 1,571 Views
  • 14 Comments
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Words to Match the Music in my Head - 6. Chapter 6 Struggle

Inspired by Pride... it represents the struggle to keep going, no matter how bad it gets.

Words to Match the Music in my Head

 

 

Chapter 6 Struggle

 

 

I’ve travelled this road of heartbreak before

Too many times to ever keep score

Battered and bruised I’ve lay down without hope

Willing myself to find some way to cope

 

I’ve scraped my bare soul on rock-piles of hurt

Buried my face and poured tears in the dirt

Wondering why everything always goes wrong

Making me put all of my pain in a song

 

There’s a saying that warns, Karma will kick your ass

Shatter the hopes you have spun out of glass

It doesn’t seem fair when it turns out this way

Just a part of cruel games life insists you must play

 

Give me some time and I’ll turn it around

As tempting as it is to stay on the ground

Everyone says to get back on the horse

It’s not so easy when love blows you off course

 

I’ll do as they ask, to worry them’s not fair

I’ll climb on the horse that I’ve renamed Despair

I’ll cross over that mountain, I’ll pick a new side

I’ll ignore the strong urge to find someplace to hide

 

There’s a saying that warns, Karma will kick your ass

Shatter any hopes you have spun out of glass

It doesn’t seem right when it turns out that way

Just a part of cruel games life demands you must play

 

To be honest, I’m filled with the urge to give in

Stay down for the count cause I can’t seem to win

It would be so easy to roll over and play dead

To never again let someone mess with my head

 

More often than not, my companion is hate

Pulling me downward with soul crushing weight

I’m finding it harder to live in the light

Next to impossible to dredge up more fight

 

There’s a warning that says, Karma will kick your ass

Shatter those hopes you have spun out of glass

It seems like a curse when it turns out that way

Just a part of cruel games life insists you must play

 

Oh hell and be damned, once more I can try

It’s way too demeaning to curl up and die

Self-pity’s a trap I don’t want to endure

Opening my heart is the only chance for a cure

 

You’re not the first one to leave me a shell

You’re only the latest one to put me through hell

Letting you win won’t mean anything to you

You’re just another taker latched on to someone new

 

So now it’s me saying, I hope Karma kicks your ass

Shatters all hopes you have spun out of glass

I’ll happily curse you if it hurts you some way

You should have to pay for the cruel games you play

 

You’re not the first one to leave me a shell

You’re only the latest to put me in hell

Letting you win is not something I’ll do

You’re just another loser who thinks only of you

 

I’m standing up now, searching for the light

I’m done giving up, and I’m ready to fight

I won’t be a victim on another cruel slide

I may not have much, but I still have my pride

 

I won’t bother to care whether Karma kicks your ass

I have my own dreams to be spun out of glass

Though battered and bruised, I still have some hope

I’ll let go of my hate and I’ll learn how to cope

 

Oh hell and be damned, once more I will try

No easy way out, I won’t curl up and die

Self-pity’s a trap I choose not to endure

I’ll open my heart and I’ll look for my cure

Never stop looking for your happy ending.
Copyright © 2015 Headstall; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 8
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Story Discussion Topic

Headstall's Paddock

Headstall's Paddock

Open Club · 145 members · Last active

A fan club for Headstall to chat about his stories as well as home to CoTT House of Cards Chat Topic
You are not currently following this author. Be sure to follow to keep up to date with new stories they post.

Recommended Comments

Chapter Comments

LitLover

An intense "dust yourself off and face another day with your head held high" song Gary. Although the person had their heart broken and life knocked them down they weren't going to stay there. I could feel the person getting stronger as the song went on. By the end I wanted to pump my fist in the air and cheer knowing they were stronger in spite the adversity that tried to keep them down.

  • Love 2
Headstall
On 06/30/2015 12:52 AM, LitLover said:

An intense "dust yourself off and face another day with your head held high" song Gary. Although the person had their heart broken and life knocked them down they weren't going to stay there. I could feel the person getting stronger as the song went on. By the end I wanted to pump my fist in the air and cheer knowing they were stronger in spite the adversity that tried to keep them down.

This song morphed from an attempt to celebrate Pride into something else entirely. I was confused at what came out at first, but realized this personal journey parallels the pride movement in a sense...it worked because no matter how bad our reality sometimes got, we, as a persecuted group, never gave up. Like our own lives demand, sometimes we have to dig deep, and pick ourselves out of the dirt, and try again. I love how you saw this... the journey that ends in eventual triumph... cheers... Gary...

  • Love 1
Headstall
On 06/30/2015 03:56 AM, dughlas said:

What do I say that would be worthy. You see I can't put those emotions, that deeply held bit of me, into words. I don't know whether to weep in sympathy or laugh with joy ... I am unequal to the task.

LOL... you did it again. Stop selling yourself short, dugh. "I don't know whether to weep in sympathy or laugh with joy" says all you need to... another lovely review, and spot on...you were supposed to feel both, and you did... Thank you, dugh... cheers... Gary...

  • Love 1
ColumbusGuy

You did celebrate Pride, G...but pride in oneself rather than the movement, and that was what was at the basis of the movement from the start.
How much I can identify with the speaker here--every time I opened up to another guy, it was to end up being hurt--but the last time, with the least-likely candidate of an ex-Army, supposedly homophobic bi guy, I found what was my longest-lasting relationship. Turnes out he was sensitive, a poet, and wanting a deep connection he didn't have from his family or the girls he'd dated before. Yes, he was rough around the edges, and I sometimes doubted what he really felt about us--but he always came back to me after a few days of withdrawal to sort himself out.
Don't give up, always a worthy message to pass on.

  • Love 2
Headstall
On 06/30/2015 07:51 AM, ColumbusGuy said:

You did celebrate Pride, G...but pride in oneself rather than the movement, and that was what was at the basis of the movement from the start.

How much I can identify with the speaker here--every time I opened up to another guy, it was to end up being hurt--but the last time, with the least-likely candidate of an ex-Army, supposedly homophobic bi guy, I found what was my longest-lasting relationship. Turnes out he was sensitive, a poet, and wanting a deep connection he didn't have from his family or the girls he'd dated before. Yes, he was rough around the edges, and I sometimes doubted what he really felt about us--but he always came back to me after a few days of withdrawal to sort himself out.

Don't give up, always a worthy message to pass on.

Thanks for reviewing, CG. That is what the movement was about, and it turns out that was the only way I could write about it. This lyrical thing lets me express things I feel and think in an entirely different way... and that is king of liberating... apparently there's a lot of stuff locked up in my brain lol. Cheers... Gary

  • Love 1
Headstall
On 06/30/2015 09:49 AM, EagleIsaac said:

Sometimes life can kick you while you're down. The lesson here seems to be "then don't stay down".

Thank you for reviewing, Eagle. What doesn't kill you could make you stronger, if you don't fall into the pitfalls that are everywhere. Life is damn hard sometimes, but self pity gets you nowhere. I think that was the strength of the movement as well...perseverance... cheers...

  • Love 1
Lisa

I read your response to LIt's review, and I totally see the different meanings the song could take. It could be the narrator being heartbroken because he can't be with the one he loves the way he wants to be with him. It could be because he feels his love isn't equal to the love of a male/female couple in the eyes of others.

 

But as Lit said, as the song progresses, so does the narrator's feelings of strength and how he's not going to let society dictate to him how to feel; they're not going to kick him down again. Now he's ready to stand up and face the world with a stronger attitude, and this time he will win! So there! lol

 

And this is what I thought as I was reading it: I totally agreed with the narrator's feelings, as everyone in GA land now knows, been there, done that. lol I did feel his progression from being down-and-out heartbroken, wanting to give up on life because he keeps getting knocked down by one break up after another, to getting stronger and stronger, until finally he realizes the only 'cure' for him is to open up his heart again and let someone in.

 

I could see Gloria Gaynor belting this out! :P He will survive! :D

  • Love 2
Headstall
On 07/05/2015 01:24 PM, Lisa said:

I read your response to LIt's review, and I totally see the different meanings the song could take. It could be the narrator being heartbroken because he can't be with the one he loves the way he wants to be with him. It could be because he feels his love isn't equal to the love of a male/female couple in the eyes of others.

 

But as Lit said, as the song progresses, so does the narrator's feelings of strength and how he's not going to let society dictate to him how to feel; they're not going to kick him down again. Now he's ready to stand up and face the world with a stronger attitude, and this time he will win! So there! lol

 

And this is what I thought as I was reading it: I totally agreed with the narrator's feelings, as everyone in GA land now knows, been there, done that. lol I did feel his progression from being down-and-out heartbroken, wanting to give up on life because he keeps getting knocked down by one break up after another, to getting stronger and stronger, until finally he realizes the only 'cure' for him is to open up his heart again and let someone in.

 

I could see Gloria Gaynor belting this out! :P He will survive! :D

In some ways, this is my favorite song so far, although that is a hard thing to say. This is a song about two different journeys that are very much the same. The Pride movement inspired me, but what came out was personal... and of course they're both personal when I examine my feelings. The main thing is the triumph of it...he gets kicked down over and over again, and as hard as it is, he makes himself get back up...and you get that...thank you so much for the support, Lisa... cheers...Gary

  • Love 1
Headstall
1 hour ago, Mancunian said:

Words to take note of and remember when life deals us another blow. When we are feeling down we need words like this to lift us back up again.

Songs need to reach a lot of people, and they need to be able to find themselves or their experiences in them. We always interpret a song from our own point of view. This was about PRIDE, but not in the usual sense. The downtrodden can be a movement, or one person. :unsure2:  We can't give up whether it is personal hurt, or homophobia. 

  • Love 1
View Guidelines

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Newsletter

    Sign Up and get an occasional Newsletter.  Fill out your profile with favorite genres and say yes to genre news to get the monthly update for your favorite genres.

    Sign Up
×
×
  • Create New...