Words to Match the Music in my Head - 3. Chapter 3 Don't

Poignant is the word I'm looking for. Beautiful is another. Calmly logical, yet devasting acknowledgement of loss and the need for a clean cut rather than lingering pain. That I can understand.

On 06/11/2015 05:57 AM, Timothy M. said:

Poignant is the word I'm looking for. Beautiful is another. Calmly logical, yet devasting acknowledgement of loss and the need for a clean cut rather than lingering pain. That I can understand.

Thanks, Tim. You know when you see it... when there's something missing, even if you only catch fleeting glimpses... and it's very hard to make that cut... Cheers...

I swear you need to start handing out tissues with your lyrics This was touching and so sadly true. Some relationships don't implode, they whither and die in front of our eyes.

I don't know how I missed this one, Gary, sorry.
Maybe it's the times in which I went to bars--late 80s and early 90s--or it could have been me not appealing to anybody, but I formed the impression that guys then were just out for fun rather than love, so I became cynical. Much as I longed for love, I'm not sure I ever found it--oh, I felt it--but did the other guy?
I know one time I certainly wasn't feeling it--I asked a guy out, who said yes, only he wanted to get to my best friend at the time--fortunately for me, he ripped the guy a new asshole and told him to get lost.
With my last, late boyfriend being previously bisexual, I wondered if he felt like I did...he was reticent in public, but so was I, and it took a little effort to get him to enjoy kissing, but he could be shockingly spontaneous and tender in his affections for me, so I guess the big answer was that if we ever disagreed, he always came back to me so we could heal and renew our bond after a few hours apart.
So, I have to agree, if the love is gone, it's crueler to pretend than to part ways. Tears of understanding on this one, G-Man.

On 06/16/2015 12:04 AM, ColumbusGuy said:

I don't know how I missed this one, Gary, sorry.

Maybe it's the times in which I went to bars--late 80s and early 90s--or it could have been me not appealing to anybody, but I formed the impression that guys then were just out for fun rather than love, so I became cynical. Much as I longed for love, I'm not sure I ever found it--oh, I felt it--but did the other guy?

I know one time I certainly wasn't feeling it--I asked a guy out, who said yes, only he wanted to get to my best friend at the time--fortunately for me, he ripped the guy a new asshole and told him to get lost.

With my last, late boyfriend being previously bisexual, I wondered if he felt like I did...he was reticent in public, but so was I, and it took a little effort to get him to enjoy kissing, but he could be shockingly spontaneous and tender in his affections for me, so I guess the big answer was that if we ever disagreed, he always came back to me so we could heal and renew our bond after a few hours apart.

So, I have to agree, if the love is gone, it's crueler to pretend than to part ways. Tears of understanding on this one, G-Man.

Thanks, CG. This one was very personal. I think you pegged the bar scene right...it's tough to find love in a bar...it's more about conquest. Actually, this is TOO personal, so I can't say what I want to...not right now...thanks for a great review... cheers, my friend...

See, now I'm the total opposite. When my ex told me he wanted to separate many years and three kids later, my self-esteem (self-confidence, or lack thereof, or whatever you want to call it), was so shot that I would have taken him back in a heartbeat - cheating or no cheating. Of course it took him TWO WEEKS to leave and TWO WEEKS before we could tell the kids. Do you know how horrible those two weeks were? Knowing that he was leaving (oh yeah, and it was two days after my birthday, on the first night of Hanukkah that he dropped the bomb), and not knowing WHEN - it was horrible. I had to put on a brave face for the kids, but every time thy weren't looking, I was crying. But I would have taken him back because even though deep down I knew the relationship wasn't great, I would rather have not great than nothing at all. Maybe because I had three kids to take care of. Maybe if it was just me alone, I would have felt differently.

So I was more like the person the narrator was talking to. I really wish I could have been like the narrator. I was never that brave.

Another excellent, heartfelt poem, Gary. You really need to publish these.

On 07/05/2015 11:58 AM, Lisa said:

See, now I'm the total opposite. When my ex told me he wanted to separate many years and three kids later, my self-esteem (self-confidence, or lack thereof, or whatever you want to call it), was so shot that I would have taken him back in a heartbeat - cheating or no cheating. Of course it took him TWO WEEKS to leave and TWO WEEKS before we could tell the kids. Do you know how horrible those two weeks were? Knowing that he was leaving (oh yeah, and it was two days after my birthday, on the first night of Hanukkah that he dropped the bomb), and not knowing WHEN - it was horrible. I had to put on a brave face for the kids, but every time thy weren't looking, I was crying. But I would have taken him back because even though deep down I knew the relationship wasn't great, I would rather have not great than nothing at all. Maybe because I had three kids to take care of. Maybe if it was just me alone, I would have felt differently.

 

So I was more like the person the narrator was talking to. I really wish I could have been like the narrator. I was never that brave.

 

Another excellent, heartfelt poem, Gary. You really need to publish these.

There's nothing worse than knowing something is over, and having to pretend for a while for the sake of others. I really feel for you, Lisa, and know EXACTLY what you mean. Sometimes life really sucks, and we just have to pick ourselves up and move on. I WAS that narrator, and it tore my heart out. I don't think I was brave, so much as I couldn't take the situation anymore. Thanks for expressing how this made you feel. Thank you for the praise, which are real words of encouragement... much respect... cheers... Gary

This resonates when you wish you had the strength of the narrator. Instead, you settle for what you know is second best and accept it because you feel you don't deserve anything else. I know because I've been there, but now I'm older, stronger and wiser and could be the narrator. Although this is sad, you write it so well that we feel it.

1 hour ago, Mancunian said:

This resonates when you wish you had the strength of the narrator. Instead, you settle for what you know is second best and accept it because you feel you don't deserve anything else. I know because I've been there, but now I'm older, stronger and wiser and could be the narrator. Although this is sad, you write it so well that we feel it.

Thanks, Craig. This one kind of hit me between the eyes. I remember clearly why I wrote this. Life is hard... love is harder.