Force of Nature - 9. Chapter 9

After arriving I looked out across the sand blown driveway. The house was big and white with flowing curtains in the windows. For some reason I expected something smaller, something a lot less grand. Then I remembered that this was new, that I wasn’t coming here as a child when we could only afford to rent a two bedroom shack on the coast. Adam’s parents likely owned this house. It was probably rebuilt after some hurricane, it looked new.

 

Lexi darted out of the white truck as soon as Adam killed the engine. I looked out of the windshield to see Sadie and her disappearing around the house. When Adam cleared his voice I looked back to where he was. Sitting patiently for once, his hand coming to rest on top of mine again.

 

“You’re missing Sadie’s first steps on the beach,” he said rolling his eyes smiling. “Lexi can be hyper when she’s not at work, I sometimes forget.”

 

“So she’s a lot like you?” I asked as I opened my door. He grimaced but followed me out of the truck. Unlike Lexi we grabbed some luggage before we walked around the sidewalk to the front of the house. He fished around in the pocket of his shorts until he found a keychain with only a couple of keys on it. He slid the key in and opened the door, it swung open so gently, like it was carried by the ever present breeze from the ocean.

 

“I would offer to carry you across the threshold, but we’re just fucking,” he said and I nearly dropped the bags that I carried. He laughed stepping into the house, I followed after the sound of his footsteps fading as he walked further inside.

 

“One of these days you’ll stop my heart with the things you say,” I said finding him struggling with the bags he carried into one of the bedrooms down a narrow hallway. I noticed that he had one of my bags mingled in with some of his. He made a point for us to be sharing a room and I blushed wondering what Lexi would think. Although we hadn’t really hidden any of our attraction, he had held my hand and surprised me with a kiss on the nape of my neck during a red light on the way over.

 

It seemed both of them tried their damndest to get me to blush. My sheltered upbringing was fascinating to them. The distraction allowed me to focus on what I would do about the news Mom had dropped in my lap though. I would make good on my promise for as long as I could. Hoping that the two of them would keep me busy so I wouldn’t find a quiet spot to rummage through my bag to find the documents and read them.

 

My plan was to read them just enough to get some contact information. I would call or write, which ever. I hoped for a phone number, but there may not be one. There may not be any contact information at all, just proof that there was a sister out there somewhere. I had to admit that bothered me, it nearly had me running to my bag to see. For some reason I wanted to know her. If she were someone that they kept from me, she had to be someone that held a lot of answers. Answers I didn’t even know had questions attached to them until this morning.

 

“Still thinking about this morning?” Adam asked appearing in the hallway that I hadn’t started towards yet. I had stopped to look around the open living room and kitchen. It had definitely been cleaned and stocked before we arrived. I wonder how much trouble Adam went through just to arrange all this. Mom usually handled all of that stuff for us.

 

“Sorry,” I said knowing I couldn’t lie, it was likely written all over my face.

 

“I already told you we’d read it and leave,” he said smiling.

 

“I’ll be fine,” I said and I stepped around him to finish putting our bags in the bedroom he selected. By the looks of the room, it wasn’t the master. When I glanced over my shoulder he leaned into the doorway smiling.

 

“This is the room I stayed in when we came here,” he said, “I don’t feel like fucking where my parents have fucked.”

 

“So that’s your plan?” I said feeling my face flush.

 

“Who knows?” He asked and I frowned hating when he did that. “I’m just here to let things happen however they happen.”

 

“Right,” I said not understanding him at all. I was nearly ready to give up trying, it seemed like I was destined to lose at this point.

 

“Come on guys!” Lexi yelled from somewhere outside. I heard Adam sigh as he turned and I followed him back outside to the front porch. Lexi was already in her bikini having worn it under her clothes. She was attempting to get Sadie into the water, but one too many rough baths in her past had Sadie tiptoeing away from the surf, tennis ball or not.

 

“How’s the water?” Adam asked as we stepped out onto the sand.

 

“Cold,” she said reaching up and pulling her hair out of her face. She tucked the strands behind her ears, but as soon as she jumped away from Sadie they fell back into her face. She laughed as Sadie knocked her over to get to the tennis ball that Lexi had tried to keep out of her reach.

 

“Want to go save my sister from your dog?” He asked, but before I could answer he took off running and grabbed the ball. Sadie barked bouncing around his feet as Lexi stood back up shaking the sand from her bikini.

 

“Toss it into the water I think she’ll go this time,” Lexi said, but instead of listening to her he threw the ball at me. I had to scramble to retrieve it before Sadie knocked me over. She gave a few frustrated barks before I threw the ball at Lexi.

 

We played keep away from Sadie until she finally won and collapsed on her stomach to chew on the ball just outside of the surf where the sand was damp and cool. Lexi sat down beside her petting her back and I smiled liking that Lexi insisted we bring Sadie along. I would make it a point to take her with me to more places, to get her away from that house and Mom’s shrill demanding voice.

 

“Hungry?” Adam asked coming to sit by me our sides touching. I didn’t mind the sweat of his arms touching mine, his cologne mixed well with the salty wet air.

 

“I could go for some food, yeah,” I said and he grinned.

 

“In a minute, I want to enjoy this,” he said stretching his legs out in front of him to scan the beach. His eyes were squinted against the harshness of the sun. A few days out here and I would have my tan back. Reaching up I pulled my shirt up over my head. Watching me he did the same and I could feel the heat radiating off him when our bare sides touched again, the batman tattoo still made me smirk every time I saw it.

 

“I wouldn’t leave a place like this,” I said looking around. The comparison from my memories didn’t touch it. The coast had become a bit of a fairy tale for me after Mom and Dad became too busy to take me down here. When we finally made enough money for real vacations we jetted off to locations far away from here. I couldn’t help thinking that I was glad we never came back here, I wouldn’t want this place to be marred in my memory by all the dysfunction.

 

“It’s one of my favorite spots,” he said and I waited for the joke, but he just sighed and leaned back on his elbows closing his eyes before looking up towards the sun.

 

“I can see why,” I said smiling when he looked out from the corner of one squinted eye.

 

“Liking the view?” He asked and laughed when I shook my head and returned my attention to the rolling blue green waves.

 

“Look!” Lexi yelled and I scanned the beach to where she had been sitting. In the heat of the day Sadie had finally walked into the cool water of the ocean. Lexi stood up and ran joining her before Sadie could get away from her. Now that she was in the water, the fear of it seemed to ease enough for them to play. Not going deep enough for Sadie to have to swim, but I smiled as Lexi jumped around her with the tennis ball, liking that Sadie was hindered by the water enough for her to escape her lunges.

 

“Ready to get wet?” He asked and I watched him stand and take off in a full sprint. He turned just as he got to the edge and landed on a wave back first, disappearing as it wrapped around him. When he stood running his hands over his face to clear the water from his eyes he waved for me to join them.

 

“Shit,” I whispered as I stood knowing the water would be about as cold as the water back home in the pool. Wanting to get over the shock as quickly as possible I ran and tried to jump over an oncoming wave, but it knocked me off my feet and I dove into the water under a second wave before standing.

 

“Jason,” Adam hissed and I heard Lexi squeal from behind me. I looked down, not feeling the weight of my swimming trunks and dunked quickly back into the water.

 

“Where the fuck did they go?” I asked looking around as Adam and Lexi laughed.

 

“Now that’s a white ass,” Lexi said and I noticed that she had found my trunks.

 

“I thought I had them tied,” I said my face getting hot despite my teeth chattering from the cold water.

 

“You have a nice ass on you Jason,” Adam said as he walked over to Lexi to retrieve my trunks. She turned her head for me to quickly step back in them. I made sure the knot was secured better before I started moving again.

 

“I guess I should have known these would be bigger on me,” I said remembering the weight I had lost while I was in the hospital. I hadn’t really noticed until they were wet. I hadn’t stayed in the pool at home long enough to really stretch my legs to find out either.

 

“This isn’t a nude beach,” Lexi said looking around. There were already other people here, but most of them were too far away to see what had happened.

 

Not wanting to lose them again and not really liking the cold water, I walked back to the beach up the steps to the front porch. I collapsed in one of the wooden chairs and watched as Adam tried to pick Lexi up and toss her into the surf. Sadie barked and bounced around him, nipping at the bottom of his trunks. I hoped she would grab hold of them so I wouldn’t be the only one trying to live down losing their shorts. She never got a good enough grip on them though and after a couple more minutes they both jogged back up the beach with her bouncing just ahead of them.

 

“I’m glad you convinced me to come,” Lexi breathed as she sat down on the top stair dodging Sadie as she shook off the water still clinging to her fur. Her paws were a light brown from the sand, but she was still happily holding her tennis ball in her mouth taking in every sight and sound the beach had to offer.

 

“You needed out of the coffee shop for a few days,” he said turning to look at me. “I thought you would turn into one of those types before too long.”

 

“I wouldn’t,” she said rolling her eyes. “I like to actually talk to people.”

 

“You can do that on those,” I said, “you know, Skype and all that.”

 

“Not the same,” she said, “and most of my guy friends want to shake a penis at me if I’m not paying attention.”

 

“What are their names?” Adam asked cocking an eyebrow. He sounded like a protective older brother. “They won’t be doing that anymore.”

 

“Oh hush,” she said, “you know I’ve probably had more sex than you.”

 

“Shut up Lexi!” Adam yelled holding his hands over his ears.

 

“Overprotective ass,” Lexi whispered smiling at me.

 

All of this should have been funny, but I couldn’t help thinking that I had been robbed of this dynamic. Although, it might have been different. Maybe if a sister of mine had been raised like I had, we’d not be as close. I had no way of knowing and it was easier to imagine smiles and laughter than putting hatred on a person I hadn’t met.

 

“Hungry Lexi?” Adam asked removing his hands from his ears.

 

“Yep,” she answered standing and dusting off her ass.

 

“Then go fix us somethin,” he said waving his hand.

 

“No, you’re taking care of me,’ she said pointing towards the door. “Jason is a guest too, so don’t make him.”

 

“I can’t really cook,” I said smiling when they both looked at me at exactly the same time.

 

“Spoiled rotten,” Adam sighed pushing himself off the chair and leaving us on the porch.

 

“He meant you,” Lexi said taking his spot in the chair. I laughed rolling my eyes when she smirked and had to toss Sadie’s tennis ball when Sadie forced it into her lap.

 

“You know I don’t know how much she’s going to make you throw that ball,” I said as Sadie jumped the last couple of stairs to retrieve the ball. “I’ve never really played fetch with her.”

 

“Poor thing,” Lexi said tossing it again when Sadie dropped it into her lap.

 

“Can your brother cook?” I asked turning to look at the open door.

 

“Yeah,” she answered studying me for a moment. She had to toss the ball again and that seemed to interrupt her thoughts. I could almost see the questions forming as we sat there. “So, how long are you going to make us wait before we’re back on the road?”

 

“What do you mean?” I asked although I knew what she meant.

 

“We’d pack up and leave now,” she said not answering my question. “This has to be killing you.”

 

“It’s manageable,” I said feeling myself growing tense under her eyes. They looked so much like Adam’s that it knocked some of the uneasiness, but I never liked talking about myself. The only person that really got me to open up was Grandma, but maybe I should have made her talk more instead of listen. Apparently I had missed out on a lot.

 

“Sorry,” she said smiling. “It’s just you’re here watching the two of us, I figured we’re the last two you’d want to be around.”

 

“Now that you mention it,” I said and I tried to hold my frown, but ended up smirking when she started to believe me.

 

“Ass,” she muttered rolling her eyes. Her hair was drying and flying away with the breeze. Her soft blond hair that matched Adam’s.

 

The smell of food distracted us from the tense conversation enough to make me feel relieved. We both stood and walked into the house to help Adam with whatever he needed to finish up dinner.

 

He had fixed three burgers and was just putting them on a plate when we entered the kitchen. Ignoring him, Lexi walked over to the refrigerator and started grabbing ketchup and what ever else she thought we might want on them. Kicking the door closed with her foot she scattered them on the counter and pushed Adam out of the way to begin fixing her burger first.

 

“Guest first you heathen thing,” he said smiling over her head when she elbowed him in the side.

 

“You should fix his,” she countered, “or were you brought up by wolves?”

 

“I’ll feed Sadie,” I said and I grabbed her bag of dog food. Not really having a bowl sturdy enough for her not to destroy, I dumped a small pile out on the kitchen floor. She would have scattered her kibbles anyway, it was something Mom had hated about her. Then Lexi poured some water into a plastic bowl for her to drink.

 

“If you’re not careful, I might steal her,” Lexi said. “She’s better company than Adam, he farts too much.”

 

“Lexi,” Adam groaned as he fixed his own burger and I stepped up to his side and waited my turn.

 

“She’d have a better life with you,” I said knowing what she would have to come back to. A lot of yelling for getting mud or dirt on the floor. “She’s already bitten my mother twice.”

 

“Poor dear,” Lexi said looking down at the dog.

 

“Dogs poop Lexi,” Adam said through a full mouth as I squirted some ketchup and mustard on my burger. I used a fork to fish out some sliced pickles and stacked them on top before putting the top bun on squishing everything down together.

 

“I read a book about that when I was just learning to read,” Lexi said rolling her eyes.

 

“So last year then,” he said and she flipped him off before picking up her burger and taking a bite out of it.

 

We ate in silence, Adam finishing his well before Lexi and I did. He did a quick scrubbing of the pan he cooked the burgers in and tossed everything back into the refrigerator. Then he filled up a pitcher of ice water, but ignored it and grabbed three bottles of beer and put them in front of us. Lexi cocked an eyebrow, but took the beer and took a couple of drinks before sitting it back down.

 

“Mom will kill you for offering me beer,” she said smiling as she stood and dumped her paper plate into the trash. She still had a bit of burger left, but she patted her stomach and picked up the beer again. “That was good.”

 

“Only one beer for you Lex,” he said, “and thanks.”

 

“Two won’t get me drunk,” she said smiling as she took another drink. “I need a shower.”

 

“Yesterday,” Adam said and she stuck out her tongue as she walked around the counter and disappeared down the hallway.

 

“That was good,” I said and he smiled before he took a quick swig of his beer.

 

“So when do you want to open that envelope?” He asked placing it back down on the granite counter. I grimaced looking down at my bottle in my hands.

 

“I thought we were going to stay away from it for a few days,” I said not really wanting to neglect the envelope anymore.

 

“I know you don’t want to,” he said, “and besides we’ll need a plan before we go in search of her anyway, so the more we know the better.”

 

“I don’t want to ruin anything,” I said, “but I do want to look.”

 

“I know,” he said walking over and wrapping his arms around me unafraid of hurting my ribs anymore. They hadn’t bothered me all day, so at least I was getting over that. I shuddered when he kissed the back of my neck. “If it were me, I would already be knocking on the poor girl’s door.”

 

“That’s because you don’t take your time with anything,” I said not meaning for it to be an insult, but he sighed letting go of me to sit down beside me at the counter. “I think I like that about you.”

 

“I do take my time with some things,” he said his voice low. His eyes seemed to burn my skin and I felt it in my shorts. He smiled leaning forward to kiss me on the lips, but froze halfway there.

 

“Gross,” Lexi said and I turned to see her dressed in another bikini, her hair wrapped in a towel.

 

“We should have left her,” Adam growled leaning away from me.

 

“Don’t stop for me, I’ll just grab a book and some headphones or something,” she said waving her hands at us.

 

“Lexi,” Adam groaned. “We’re going to look at the envelope, I think.”

 

“Really?” Lexi asked her eyes widening.

 

“Yeah,” I said my heart hammering as I stood and walked down the hallway, both of them falling in line behind me.

 

“Out Lexi,” Adam said, “I want to change.”

 

“Fine,” she said, “although I’ve already seen all of that.”

 

“Sorry about that,” I said my face flushing, but Adam closed the door in her face rolling his eyes.

 

“If she had a penis, I doubt she’d be half as annoying,” he said walking over to one of his bags.

 

I shook my head too nervous to really laugh as I unzipped the bag that had my underwear and shorts. It also was the one that had the envelope that Mom gave me. Grabbing it first I sat it in the bed before I pulled my shorts down and quickly stepped into a pair of boxer briefs.

 

When we were both dressed in a pair of shorts we opened the door. He took the envelope from the bed and let me lead the way back down the hallway. Lexi was sitting on the couch, the coffee table directly in front of her. We both sat on either side of her and Adam glanced at me before he opened the envelope and gently let the contents slide out onto the table.

 

They both waited for me to move towards the papers. The first thing that my eyes landed on though, was a small stack of pictures. They were held together by a rubber band and I gently tugged them free. The first thing I saw was a baby, dressed in a pink outfit. Otherwise, I would have thought it was me. She looked just like I did as a baby. Chubby, a head full of dark brown hair, and brown eyes that would stare through you. I also noticed that there was a second baby, in blue laying next to her and I knew without any doubt that I was the second baby in the photo.

 

Flipping through them, my hands began to shake. When I got to the last one I flipped it over and saw a date scribbled on them. It was a month or so after I was born. No names on the pictures, just a date in black ink.

 

“A twin,” I said falling back against the couch. “Not a sister, a twin.”

 

“Jason,” Lexi started, but I heard Adam whisper her name. I looked over to see the back of his head shaking.

 

“I guess that’s the complication Mom didn’t want to get into with me,” I said, slowly leaning forward again. “That she was just as guilty as Dad.”

 

“You are twins,” Lexi said holding up a piece of paper. It was a copy of both of our birth certificates, just slips of paper with our names and the date of birth.

 

“Why didn’t they keep her?” I asked my voice raising as the tightness in my stomach and throat cut off my air. I quickly stood and ran out the open front door. I barely got off the porch before I doubled over and vomited in the sand. I looked over my shoulder to see Sadie staring at me, her neglected ball between her paws.

 

When I stood I kicked a small mound of sand over the mess and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. I brushed off Adam’s hand and walked up the stairs through the front door. I ignored them until I got into the bathroom. I turned the on the cold water and splashed my face before I cupped my hand and rinsed my mouth out, spitting the water back into the sink. I did it a couple of times, until I could no longer taste the vomit in my mouth.

 

Sighing I opened the bathroom door, knowing both of them were hovering just beyond it on the other side. Smiling I walked back over to the coffee table and waited for them to sit down like we had been a couple of minutes ago.

 

“This was a mistake,” Adam said wanting to reach across Lexi, but she was already scanning the papers and slapped his hand away.

 

“They knew she was different,” she said, “they ran tests when she wouldn’t respond to things like you did.”

 

“What did they find?” I asked holding out my hand for the papers she held.

 

“That she’s deaf,” Lexi answered, “and aww her name is Jessa, Jessa and Jason.”

 

“Lexi,” Adam whispered as Lexi held out the papers for me. I quickly scanned the test results and the conclusion of them with the signature from some specialist at the bottom.

 

We looked over the stack of legal papers, the ones mapping out the terms of the adoption. None of them going into detail, all of them full of legal terms that I couldn’t really wrap my head around yet.

 

I was about to get frustrated until we uncovered a small stack of notebook paper, folded like they had spent most of their time in a small envelope. I reached for them and when I unfolded it, I instantly recognized my Grandmother’s handwriting. As I scanned the beautiful, nearly perfect handwriting that she had, I quickly realized that it was addressed to my sister and she had been talking about me.

 

“Her adopted parents changed her name,” I said, “these are to an Amelia Cartwright, dated a year before Grandma died.”

 

“So she kept in touch with her all these years?” Lexi asked and I reached up and wiped away the tears that clouded my face.

 

“She lives in Alabama, not three hours from the house,” I said shaking my head. “We fucking passed right by it on the way.”

 

“Do you have a phone number or anything?” Adam asked and I saw that for the first time that he didn’t seem in control of anything. His calm demeanor was just as defeated as I felt. “I’ve not really seen one that would belong to her.”

 

“I have it,” Lexi said holding up a battered envelope that likely contained these letters, “or an address anyway.”

 

“Then let’s get the hell out of here,” Adam said and before I knew it he was standing.

 

“Tomorrow,” I said, “I couldn’t do this tonight, I need to calm down.”

 

“Okay,” he said and they both surprised me by wrapping me into a hug, Adam squishing Lexi between us. “Tomorrow, I swear I’ll get you there.”

 

“I know,” I said as they broke the hug and I smiled despite my jumbled mind when I took in their mirrored expressions, both of them determined. I knew they’d get me there, but everything else was up to me and I didn’t know how I would ever be ready.