Crave - 11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Jenson touched Kel’s face, his neck, and caressed his hair. The touches were light, but urgent. He could hear Kel’s heart thundering in his thin chest. His breaths were rapid and shallow. For the first time in longer than Jenson could remember, Kel’s eyes were on him… they seemed to SEE him. “Kel?” he whispered.

A shaky hand reached for him. “… forgive… Jens….” The whispered words were so quiet he had to strain to hear them. The hand fell away.

“No… no… no…,” he cried painfully. “Why, Kel? Why did you do…?” His voice gave out, and he could only sob as grief swamped him. He pulled Kel to his chest, but the body was only a shell…Kel had left.

Jenson’s eyes flew open, and he could feel his heart racing. It was dark, and it took him a moment to remember where he was… in his room. It took him a second more to remember his dream, his reality… Kel was dead. Tears formed in his eyes as sorrow threatened to pull him under again. He wiped them angrily away, and set his feet on the floor.

“Lights on,” he said with a sigh. Looking at the clock, he saw it was still very early. Knowing he wouldn’t be getting any more sleep tonight, he got out of bed and walked through the house. He found himself standing in front of the door to Kel’s wing. The door was no longer secured, and opened as soon as he stepped near the sensors. The hall was silent. It was strange to see it so quiet. This wing hadn’t been empty since he moved Kel in, shortly after he had the house built. Walking to Kel’s room, he called out for light and leaned against the door frame. Everything, including the blood, had been cleaned by the staff before they left. Even Kel’s bed had been stripped. It stood bare on one side of the room. Dr. MacAllister had called the council’s medical examiner, who had taken Kel’s body for examination before the funeral preparations. The doctor had given his report to the examiner, and the man didn’t think there would be any issues. Kel’s body was expected to be released in the afternoon, in time for a sunset ceremony.

Jenson closed his eyes against his memories before quickly walking back to the main house. Audra was sitting on the stairs in the foyer, and looked up at him as he approached. Jenson could see the sadness and the concern in her eyes.

“I heard you get up,” she said quietly. “I thought I would see if you wanted company?”

With a sigh, Jensen sat down beside her. Audra reached over and took his hand in hers. He still felt terrible for yelling at her and Merrick. “About earlier…,” he said, squeezing her hand gently. “I’m sorry I was so harsh with you….”

“It’s ok, Jens,” she said with a sad smile. “We understood. You needed time alone.”

“We?” Jenson turned to her in surprise. “Merrick understands? What, exactly, does he understand?”

“Relax. I didn’t tell him anything about Kel. You’re going to need to talk to him, Jens.”

“I know,” Jenson looked at the floor in front of him. “He must’ve had a million questions.”

“Wouldn’t you?” Audra gently prodded.

“Fair enough,” Jenson shook his head. “I don’t even know where to start….”

“From the beginning,” Audra gave his hand a squeeze. “I am so sorry, Jens.”

Jenson stood, and pulled her up with him. “I know you are. Come on, let’s try to get back to sleep. It’s still early yet.”

He knew from the look on her face that Audra didn’t believe for a minute he would be sleeping for the rest of the night. He waited for a protest, but instead she only nodded before turning and walking with him up the stairs. On the landing she turned and pulled him in for a hug.

“I love you, little brother,” she whispered.

“I love you too,” his voice sounded strained, having to squeeze past the lump in his throat. “Now go. Get some sleep.”

Jenson went to his room and grabbed his comm pad. He sat in a chair in the corner, and pulled up the reports about the Alectaran dissidents. He knew he wasn’t going to sleep, but didn’t want to keep his sister awake. She would want to be there for him, and while he appreciated it, he really didn’t want to talk. Not yet.

Reading was impossible as his mind kept returning to Kel, and the look on Merrick’s face when Jenson finally noticed him. The younger man looked shocked. Who wouldn’t be in the same situation? What made Jenson feel really guilty, was the hurt he saw reflected in Merrick’s eyes. Jenson knew he had a lot of explaining to do. How would Merrick react when he finally knew the truth… the whole truth?

After forcing himself to read for a couple of hours, the vampire finally gave it up as a lost cause and put the comm pad away. He took a shower and dressed before going down to force down a mug of blood. He messaged the doctor and confirmed arrangements to have Kel’s body brought to the ceremonial grounds. He knew Audra had spoken to their father the night before, but decided he should do the man the courtesy of giving him the news himself.

“I’m sorry, Jenson,” his father said as soon as he accepted the call. “How are you handling things?”

“I’ve been better,” Jenson sighed, leaning against the front porch rail. The sun had risen over the trees, and the warmth felt good on his face.

“I read Dr. MacAllister’s report. There was nothing you could have done,” his father’s voice was filled with sympathy.

“Dad…,” Jenson looked up at the sky.

“Okay, son. I love you. I’ll see you in a couple of hours. I’d like to go with you and Audra to the grounds,” the older man said, before they ended the call.

The rest of the morning was spent making arrangements for Kel’s ceremony. All of the staff who had worked with Kel over the years had asked to attend. Jenson messaged Joshua with the details so he could contact everyone. His sister was invaluable, making calls on his behalf, and contacting the team to inform them there was a death in the family, and that any meetings were postponed until further notice.

His father arrived a few hours before they had to leave. The older vampire’s sad eyes, and the feel of his arms as they wrapped him in a hug, threatened to crack the numbness the younger vampire was desperate to hold on to. By the time they climbed into his father’s rover, Jenson was completely exhausted. He sat in the back seat and closed his eyes. The steady hum of the vehicle was soothing as he drifted. His eyes opened when he felt the vehicle come to a stop. He stepped out and walked up to Kel’s final resting place. Directly in front of him was a large stone crypt. It stood in the centre of a circular clearing, surrounded by trees. It was a beautiful monument, and under different circumstances, Jenson might have been impressed by the workmanship. He traced the inscriptions carved into the cold, smooth stone with his fingertips. Kel’s name… next to Jenson’s mother’s, were etched there. Generations of Shey’s had been laid to rest here. Even with all of their advancements in technology, some things demanded the respect of tradition.

Removing his hand from the stone, he moved to the raised platform at the entrance of the monument, knowing, without looking, that his sister and father were behind him. Kel’s body was covered with a deep red sheet covered in various inscriptions, sewn in black thread… another tradition. Jenson removed the sheet from his face. His eyes watered as he leaned down and kissed Kel’s cool lips one last time. “Goodbye, Kel,” he whispered, touching his cheek, before covering him again.

The sound of mourners arriving made him turn. He was surprised to find Merrick standing a few feet away, looking unsure of himself. The younger man’s eyes were wet with tears. Jenson looked at his sister. His unspoken question was clear.

“He asked if it would be okay if he came when I talked to him this morning,” she said quietly, appearing to be concerned about her brother’s reaction.

He nodded, and with a slight smile to show her he wasn’t upset, he walked over to Merrick.

“Jenson,” Merrick’s voice was strained and his hands twitched like he wanted to reach out for the vampire, but he wasn’t sure if it would be welcome.

“Thank you for coming, Merrick,” Jenson said softly, giving the man a quick hug before stepping back again. He looked over at the small crowd gathering in the clearing. “I have to go and greet everyone.”

“Oh…. Okay...,” Merrick looked over the vampire’s shoulder before turning his gaze back on him. “I just wanted you to know that I’m here… if you need me.”

Without thinking about it, Jenson stepped forward and gave his friend another hug. “I know… thank you.” He pulled back and placed his hand on the younger man’s cheek before turning to greet the new arrivals.

<><><>

Two days later, Jenson stood on the ramp to his sister’s ship. Council had offered to delay the mission, but Jenson had no desire to be home right now. It was too quiet there. He needed something to do. Taking a deep breath, he walked up the ramp and went directly to his quarters. The rest of the team would be arriving shortly, and he wanted to be settled before they boarded. The first meeting with them after the funeral had been awkward. No one but his family, his staff, and the Council had known about Kel. The official report given to the team was that the Shey’s had suffered a loss in the family. No further details were given. He was grateful that after a few expressions of sympathy for their loss, the matter was dropped. The hardest part for Jenson, was feeling Merrick’s eyes on him every time they were in the same room together. He knew the other man wanted answers.

Jenson was trying to decide if he should go to the bridge to find Audra when his door alert buzzed. He saw his sister standing on the other side on the view screen. “Come in,” he called.

“There you are,” she said as she strode through the door. “Are you going to hide out in here for the entire trip?”

“I was just about to go and find you,” he said, giving her a smile. He hated to see sadness in her eyes every time she looked at him.

Audra scrutinized him for a few moments before nodding. “Okay.”

They walked to the bridge and found Merrick there, leaning over a monitor with the redheaded human scientist beside him. Audra grumbled something unintelligible before heading to her chair. Merrick’s eyes met his for a few seconds, before calling the vampire over. “Jenson, have you seen the latest communication from Alectara?”

The message on the screen indicated that several representatives from the Alectaran government would meet them at the landing site. The reason given for the change in procedure was to officially welcome them to the system, and to ‘foster good relations’ with their new neighbours. Jenson looked over at his sister as she and her crew went through their final system checks. Oh, this was not going to go well.

“Well, shit,” he chuckled. “I may have to spring Audra from jail after all.”

Merrick, who had been told of Audra’s last encounter with the species, threw his head back and laughed. “We may have to tie her to a chair to keep her on the ship.”

“If she’s not qualified for this mission…,” the human interjected.

Jenson felt his anger rise in reaction to this apparent attack on his sister’s abilities. Before he could say anything, Merrick turned on the other man. “Audra Shey is one of the best pilots in the sector. She’s more than qualified for this mission. Her only problem is she won’t put up being disrespected, by anyone. You would do well to remember that.” Merrick sneered as he said the word ‘problem’.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jenson saw Audra looking at them with a smirk, before turning back to her second officer. Looking back and forth between Merrick and Jenson, the human wisely chose to say no more about Audra, and moved on to discussing ideal sites for their tests.

Shortly after takeoff, Jenson called a team meeting in the conference room to inform everyone they were now expecting a ‘welcoming committee’ when they landed. Audra wasn’t originally scheduled to be part of the landing party, but with the Alectaran contingent waiting for them, it would be an insult for the captain of the ship not to make an appearance.

“This is going to complicate matters,” Jenson said, leaning his forearms on the table in front of him. “This species doesn’t hold women in very high regard, so Audra’s presence is bound to ruffle some feathers, but it would be insulting for the captain of the ship not to pay her respects.” The vampire suppressed a smile when he heard Audra snort next to him.

“If Captain Shey’s presence is going to cause problems, couldn’t her second officer come with us instead? He could say he was the captain. How would they know?” The shorter human said, looking at the others for support.

Audra glared at the human. “This is MY ship, Dr. Lewes. I am her captain. If those Neanderthals have a problem with me, then they can leave.” She turned her glare on Dr. Forbes, as if challenging him to contradict her. The younger scientist met her gaze, but stayed silent. Jenson could have sworn he saw the corner of the man’s lip twitch.

“Audra will disembark with us,” the tone in Jenson’s voice left no room for argument. “I’ll keep you informed of any other developments.”

Before he could leave, one of the security team stopped Jenson to clarify landing procedure now that Audra was joining them. The ship’s security chief had requested that one of his officers join them to ensure their captain’s safety. Jenson agreed, and sent the young man on his way to make the arrangements. When Jenson turned to follow the male out of the room, he realized Merrick was still sitting at the table… and they were alone.

“Can we talk?” Merrick looked up at him with those expressive, hazel eyes Jenson always had a hard time saying no to.

Without speaking, the vampire nodded, and led the way out the door. Merrick followed him out of the room and down the hall to his quarters. His room wasn’t tiny, but it felt claustrophobic with Merrick’s presence filling it. The younger man sat on the bunk and looked at him expectantly. Apparently he was going to wait for Jenson to speak.

“I should have told you about Kel years ago.” He felt the pain trying to return, and took a deep breath to steady himself. “I could never find the right time.” He looked out the small window to the inky blackness beyond. “I don’t know where to start.”

“You could start by telling me who he was to you,” Merrick said, breaking his silence.

Jenson looked at the younger man, surprised he didn’t already realize. “Kel was my lover, Merrick. If things had turned out differently, he would have been my husband.”