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    Mikiesboy
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The content presented here is for informational or educational purposes only. These are just the authors' personal opinions and knowledge.
Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

My LIfe: In Pieces - 2. Don't Ask For More

Chapter Warning
This chapter contains sexual situations and physical abuse recalled from actual experience, and is not intended to titillate anyone.

My Life in Pieces: Don't Ask For More

 

It was a scary night. Thrown out of my house, I headed downtown. I hadn't been in downtown Toronto much, and never on my own at night. I got off the streetcar when we got to Yonge, which is the main street in the city; it divides east and west Toronto.

I walked up the street looking at all the lights, and to me, weird shops. The stores that were open sold sex and drug aids. Some places advertised live girls all the time. I stopped to look at the pictures until the bouncer shooed me away, saying, "Come back when your dick's a little bigger, kid.”

I would have loved to get a peek in there!

I wandered up to Dundas and Yonge - a bit of a rough place. The night people were definitely out and about. So were lots of cops. I turned onto Dundas, and walked west toward the bus station. I know what my brother Joe had said, but I really need the restrooms, and they were open all night. It was pretty creepy in there. Lots of older, rheumy guys, and I may have been paranoid but there seemed to be lots of interest when I unzipped to use the urinal. It was so not clean in there and I couldn't wait to get out.

I left and went across Yonge Street to an all-night coffee shop. I ordered coffee and a doughnut, and then tried to disappear into the corner. Cops came in there in droves and I tried my best to look 18, but I didn't. I looked like a terrified kid. The cops didn't seem too interested in me, but someone in there sure was.

I'd noticed him watching me, so I found a copy of the Toronto Star to read and avoid his eyes. After about forty minutes of this he finally slid into the booth. I was scared to death. I mean I grew up in a sort of Catholic home; I was pretty sheltered and had never been a situation remotely like this. Looking back, I wish I would have asked the cops to help me. But there you go, I didn't. Things were about to change and not for the better.

The guy across from me was skinny, had terrible skin, and his eyes looked sort of like a shark’s – haunted and deadly. He grinned at me with teeth that may have never seen a dentist. I guessed he was in his late twenties.

“Hey, little bro, lend me a dollar for a coffee?” He kept looking around like he was nervous. I gave him a five-dollar bill and tried to leave, but he grabbed my arm. He nodded at my bag. “You run away?”

“No, I’m going to visit my grandparents.”

He laughed. “Little bro, I’ve seen enough runaways to know. Your parents toss you out?”

I sat back down and nodded.

“Don’t worry, little buddy. If you want, you can hang with me. I’ll show you what to do, and I’ve got a room. It ain’t much, but we can crash there. My name’s Jeff. What’s yours?”

“Tim,” I answered.

What real choice did I have? I agreed to go with him. I bought us a pizza too. He took me back to his place; it was horrible. Painted hospital-green, it was a single room. The toilet was down the main hall, and it was shared with I don’t know how many others. The room was a mess; I didn’t see anything crawling, but I think I just didn’t look close enough.

We ate the pizza, and listened to the little TV. Jeff asked me why I left home, so I told him how my dad kicked me out. He just shrugged. I asked him why he was out on his own; he said he’d been since he was 14 and he was 23 now. Jeff said that me being gay or bi would make life easier. When I asked him how, he told me, “Cuz you sort of want it anyways dontcha?”

“Want what?”

“Sex – like with men. Easier if you are already gay.”

I just stared at him. “Is that what you do – have sex with men?”

“Yeah. I try to convince them to take a hand-job or a blow, but sometimes they wantcha to bend over.”

“Blow?” I asked, but right now I felt like throwing up.

“Blow-job. Don’t you know? Haven’t you done nothing yet?”

I shook my head. No, I’d done nothing other than watch my Mum die, my dad beat me and then throw me out of the house.

“Look, you know what a hand job is, right? So a blow is just done with your mouth. Some dudes will pay more if you promise to swallow their jizz. Up to you.”

God.

I guess I looked sick because he said, “You need to learn it, Timmy boy. It costs money to live, even in this crappy place. Or, you can go back home.”

"What about going to like a shelter or something?”

“You can, but you’ll like probably get beaten up and your stuff will be swiped.”

I wanted to cry. I wanted to go home, as awful as it was. My father had said not to bother with his sisters, my aunts, but I decided to call them tomorrow. Right now I just wanted to sleep.

“So, Tim, you got more money?”

“A little.” I think I had a bit over $200. “You need to give me some to help pay for the room and stuff. Then you come with me tomorrow night, and I’ll show you what to do. Maybe if we earn enough we can get a better place.”

“Ok. That’s fair. Can I go to sleep now? I’m really tired.”

“Sure, Tim-boy.” He showed me the couch, and I pulled out my winter coat to use as a blanket. Jeff gave me a very old pillow. I tried not to think about bugs.

We went to a cheap diner to eat the next morning. Money was going fast. After ordering, I called the first of my aunts. They all were angry; they all said awful things to me, calling me ungrateful. Asking how I could be such a bad son. But Mum had said I was good, strong. Had only she seen that? All of them hung on me except the youngest. She was in tears, saying she was so sorry, but her husband would be furious if she did. I told her it was okay.

I couldn’t believe I was out here alone.

I sat down to eat, and I looked at Jeff who was going to teach me the art of gay sex. Something I’d always wanted, but I was completely not ready for – on the street, with strangers.

Jeff wolfed down his food, and asked me for money. “I’ll buy some weed. It helps.”

Weed? One day out of the house and I was well on my way to being a whore and a drug addict.

****

We slept the afternoon away. Jeff had been out for an hour, and I just decided to sleep while he was gone. He woke me about 7pm.

“Get up, Tim. We gotta get going.”

I rubbed my eyes and sat up. “Where are we going?”

"Fuck, are you stupid? We gotta work. Come on.” He was rolling joints at the little table. He lit one and drew the sweet smoke into his lungs. He handed it to me. I took it. I’d never smoked anything, and the smell was weird but not unpleasant. Jeff let his breath go.

“Come on, take a drag. Suck through the joint, and then hold it. It makes the night go by faster.”

Of course, I coughed horribly as I sucked in my first marijuana smoke. He laughed, but then Jeff encouraged me to try again. I managed to do better this time and I felt the effects. I felt lighter, and I felt like giggling.

Jeff put a couple of joints in a cigarette package and said, “Come on, you can have more later.”

Jeff had put on a very tight t-shirt that showed his thin chest and belly; it was way too small and couldn’t be tucked in. His jeans too were tight and my eyes were drawn to the hefty bulge under the zipper.

He looked at me and grunted in disgust. “You need better clothes, kid. But, we’ll do something about that tomorrow, no time now.”

And off we went.

Men cruised the Church and Wellesley area. We stood waiting, and it wasn’t long before a car pulled over. Jeff walked up and leaned in. He turned, opened the door, and waved me to him. I was nervous; my heart thudded in my chest.

“Get in.”

I crawled in the back while Jeff sat up front. We drove for a few minutes and the car turned into a darkened parking lot.

The driver, our customer, joined me in the back, and Jeff followed him in. The man unzipped his pants and opened his shirt. His dick was already hard and he pushed Jeff’s down to it. I watched both fascinated and horrified as Jeff opened his mouth, engulfed and sucked it. The man grabbed my hair and pulled me towards him. Any good the joint was supposed to do was gone in that second. “You, let’s see your dick.” He pulled at my jeans and he slapped me then – angry I wasn’t faster. I undid them and pushed them down.

“Nice, now let’s see it.” The man grabbed my limp cock and started to masturbate me. It felt good in spite of my fear. “Now boy, you suck my tits, while I play with you. Your friend is a good cocksucker.”

I did as I was told. I licked and sucked his nipples, with direction from him about when to nibble and bite harder. While I worked my tongue, he jacked me and Jeff slurped away. The guy started moaning, getting close to coming. Finally he held Jeff’s head in place as he came. I was still hard.

“You suck your little friend off. I want to see that. And don’t ask for more, you’re lucky I let you bring him.”

Jeff glared at the guy, and shoved me back onto the seat. He crawled over me, sucked me quickly, and skillfully. I’d never felt anything like it; it was my first blowjob.

“Nice. Now get lost.” The guy drove off after we got out of the car. Jeff spit on the ground. “Prick could have driven us back. Come on, Tim.”

We started walking, and we hadn’t gotten far when we were stopped again. There were two men this time.

“You boys have the time?”

Jeff grinned. “Of course.”

“Hop in. The little one in the back.”

That was me. The passenger got in with me. He massaged my leg and genitals and pulled my hand onto this growing package. They drove back to the empty lot we’d left ten minutes before.

I could hear Jeff working away and his customer groaning. My guy unzipped and pulled out his meat. He looked at me. “Well?”

“So, you want a hand job?” I asked, remembering what Jeff had told me.

The guy laughed. “Suck it, kid.”

Fuck. I touched it; it was smooth and soft and I moved my hand up and down the shaft. I felt my cock stir. From the front was a lot of slurping and groaning. My guy pushed my face toward his hard dick. I opened my mouth and closed my eyes. I sucked it, and licked it, trying to copy Jeff.

Then I felt a great yank, as I was pulled up by the hair, and was met with a hard slap. My head rang. I must have yelped.

The guy was furious. “Are you stupid? What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

I stared.

“If I wanted my dick chewed I’d let my wife do it. Try again, and if I feel your teeth, I’ll smash ‘em out. Got it?”

Nodding and crying, I sucked him, carefully hiding my teeth. He pushed my head up and down making me choke and gag. When he came I wasn’t ready and thought I was going to drown.

When he’d done he pulled me off, gave me $10 and pushed me out of the car. Jeff got out and helped me up. We watched the car drive off. I turned around and vomited.

Jeff lit a joint and took a few drags, before he remembered to hand it to me. I smoked it willingly, sharing it with Jeff. He seemed kind of upset, but he smiled at me.

“Come on. I think I need to teach you a few things. Then you’ll be ready to work.”

We got back to Jeff’s room and he was pretty angry. “You fucked up our night. Fuck! I must be nuts. You need to learn, little brother.”

He hit me then, in the face, and stomach over and over until I begged him to stop. He undressed, and sat on the bed. “Come here.”

I went to him and he told me to strip. I shook my head, but he lifted his hand and I did as I was told. I didn’t want to be hit anymore. “On your knees.”

I knelt before him. He sat stroking his cock. I watched it harden. “Now you’re gonna learn.”

He made me blow him. He hit me a few more times until I gave up and obeyed.

After he’d come, I lay on the bed in pain and in tears. He turned me onto my back, touching me gently, kissing my body, and playing with me. I got hard under his fingers and mouth. Once I was moaning, and he was hard again, he turned me onto my belly. He put on a condom and crawled between my legs. He poured lube onto my ass and plunged his fingers into me.

I screamed and tried to crawl away.

“Lesson two, Timmy. You gotta do it. You gotta be stretched and opened so johns can fuck you. Best to let me the first time.”

I begged him not to, but he continued to push his fingers into me. He pulled out, and then I felt him push his dick against me; he wasn’t gentle and I didn’t think I’d live through the pain. He thrust in and out of me for some time until he finally came. He wasn’t kind when he pulled out of me either, the pain was incredible.

He stroked my head, and covered me up. “I’m sorry, little brother. Better it was me.”

Funny, I didn’t feel lucky at all. But I would.

****

 

C'est fini

Thank you to AC for all his help, for his reassurance, and his great editing and reading skills.
Copyright © 2017 Mikiesboy; All Rights Reserved.
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The content presented here is for informational or educational purposes only. These are just the authors' personal opinions and knowledge.
Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

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tim
I am all out of likes and I don't think I can leave any hearts for the story itself.

 

I can, however, leave :heart: :heart: :heart: for you for your tremendous courage and ability to endure a life that you did not choose. By telling your story rather than keeping it hidden, you show everyone how truly strong you are.

 

:hug:

 

I will like this later as a like for your "story" telling skills.

Edited by Reader1810
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On 11/20/2015 01:12 PM, EagleIsaac said:

I didn't feel right liking this - because to be honest i want to beat the hell out of Jef - but as always your writing is emotionally charged and too good not to "like".

Hey Isaac. I understand the liking thing. You know until a couple of months ago I always looked up to Jeff, at the time he was my saviour, my friend. But I know better now. He wasn't all bad, but I know now why he took me in. Thanks for reading and for your comments.

It was really hard for me to post this. I was really unsure about it because it's hard to read, hard to believe kids go thru this stuff all the time. I did it for me and them.

 

thanks again,

 

tim

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On 11/20/2015 01:21 PM, Reader1810 said:

tim

I am all out of likes and I don't think I can leave any hearts for the story itself.

 

I can, however, leave :hearts: :hearts: :hearts: for you for your tremendous courage and ability to endure a life that you did not choose. By telling your story rather than keeping it hidden, you show everyone how truly strong you are.

 

:hug:

 

I will like this later as a like for your "story" telling skills.

I'll take the thoughtful hearts, Reader. Thank you for reading and your comments. This Piece was difficult to write. I wrote it the way you see, I re-wrote it to soften it up but my editor said, you, it should be told the way it happened, its non-fiction. So after a lot of thought, I decided to post the original.

 

Thanks again for everything, especially your support.

 

tim

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I had to wait after reading this before I could think through my anger at Jeff to write a coherent review. :(

 

I agree with the others that your writing deserves a like, and your bravery and courage for opening your heart to us in this way. :heart:

 

I am usually against violence, but, in Jeff's case I would make a large exception. I would gladly join Isaac and provide anything needed to get the job done right. :pissed:

 

Thank you for sharing your story with us, you are an amazing man and I am honoured to know you, even just virtually ;)

 

:hug::kiss:

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On 11/20/2015 01:32 PM, Caz Pedroso said:

I had to wait after reading this before I could think through my anger at Jeff to write a coherent review. :(

 

I agree with the others that your writing deserves a like, and your bravery and courage for opening your heart to us in this way. :heart:

 

I am usually against violence, but, in Jeff's case I would make a large exception. I would gladly join Isaac and provide anything needed to get the job done right. :pissed:

 

Thank you for sharing your story with us, you are an amazing man and I am honoured to know you, even just virtually ;)

 

:hug::kiss:

Aw Cazzie. While there are other Pieces, I'm pretty sure this is one of the worst. I couldn't put another like this out, it was really hard for me. And Jeff, well I guess he's lucky he left this life on his own. He'd have the whole COTT forum after him.

 

I'm honoured to know you too.. thank you. Your support and friendship mean the world.

 

tim

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This story makes me want to cry, to weep with rage. I want to hold your hand and lead you away from that life, change the story somehow, and spare you the pain. Honesty makes me tell you that I recoil from what happened to you, that I hate the evil that was done to you. As hard as it is for me to read, I know it was harder for you to write. And for that, my heart bleeds, too. You wrote your story with simplicity and brutal eloquence that makes it enormously powerful. If it offers you even a shred of comfort to know that there are many of us who would befriend you now, who would offer encouragement and support, then know you have these from me. And if what you wrote convinces even one of us to reach out to a broken, unhappy kid, out alone in an unfriendly world, then this story was worth writing.

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I am struggling here. It would be easier if I was reading about a stranger. I lived in the village a long time... and you get hardened in some ways... but that didn't help me here. I am sorry, Tim, for what you endured. I know guys who lived that life with varying experiences. You were just an innocent child, and my hatred for Jeff has grown unbelievably... and for your aunts. This was hard to read, but kudos to you for writing it. You're a brave man, Tim. I am thankful for the life you have now, and the great man you share it with. I have to keep that in mind after this... I commend your writing, and your courage... your friend... Gary...

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On 11/20/2015 01:45 PM, Parker Owens said:

This story makes me want to cry, to weep with rage. I want to hold your hand and lead you away from that life, change the story somehow, and spare you the pain. Honesty makes me tell you that I recoil from what happened to you, that I hate the evil that was done to you. As hard as it is for me to read, I know it was harder for you to write. And for that, my heart bleeds, too. You wrote your story with simplicity and brutal eloquence that makes it enormously powerful. If it offers you even a shred of comfort to know that there are many of us who would befriend you now, who would offer encouragement and support, then know you have these from me. And if what you wrote convinces even one of us to reach out to a broken, unhappy kid, out alone in an unfriendly world, then this story was worth writing.

Parker, my friend, for a long time I lived there, in the past. I still do sometimes and I was told to write about it. I wasn't sure whether it should be shared. I'm still not because it upsets you. But part of me feels that people need to see it. Because street kids/people are invisible so often.

 

Pieces is therapy, truth, and forgiveness. It's been waiting a long time to be set free.

 

I appreciate your support and friendship. It means a lot.

 

tim

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I've never understood why someone would walk away from or punish family just because someone is gay. It baffles and angers me. I blame your family for what happened as much as I blame Jeff. You were no more than a child and you were left to fend for yourself. As a mother, that is unforgivable to me. I think you are incredibly courageous to share this with us. Thank you, Tim :hug:

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On 11/20/2015 01:45 PM, Headstall said:

I am struggling here. It would be easier if I was reading about a stranger. I lived in the village a long time... and you get hardened in some ways... but that didn't help me here. I am sorry, Tim, for what you endured. I know guys who lived that life with varying experiences. You were just an innocent child, and my hatred for Jeff has grown unbelievably... and for your aunts. This was hard to read, but kudos to you for writing it. You're a brave man, Tim. I am thankful for the life you have now, and the great man you share it with. I have to keep that in mind after this... I commend your writing, and your courage... your friend... Gary...

Gary. Yeah it happened. But it's the past, at least for me. It made me who am I today. Writing this, letting others see it, is part of that letting-go. We don't like to see the bare truth but sometimes we do need to look behind the curtain. Even if we're afraid to.

 

I am happy now, lucky now, have a wonderful family now. So all of it, all of it was worth it.

 

Thank you Gary, your support of me and my writing, I can't thank you enough.

 

tim xo

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On 11/20/2015 01:52 PM, Defiance19 said:

It seems like we were all like minded, finding it difficult to 'like' this entry. But, I liked it because you courageously share your life so openly, and with such raw honesty. For the strength it takes to not let your past dictate who you are today.

You are an incredible inspiration Tim...

Def, I understand. I hope writing these Pieces will help me put the past behind me, help me let it go. Mostly I can keep it packed in the box in the corner, but sometimes it slips out. But not so often any more.

 

Thank you for reading and for your comments and your support.

 

tim

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Aw God, that was awful Tim.

 

Not the writing, you did it well and made me feel your horror.
The situation was (is, I suppose, as it still happens every day) one which never should be allowed to happen. And it was forced upon you, as a young boy, by people's alleged belief in a savior who would have been on your side and not theirs. That's the little comfort you can wrest, I hope.

 

It was very frank and took some guts. Thanks for opening my eyes again.

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On 11/20/2015 02:06 PM, LitLover said:

I've never understood why someone would walk away from or punish family just because someone is gay. It baffles and angers me. I blame your family for what happened as much as I blame Jeff. You were no more than a child and you were left to fend for yourself. As a mother, that is unforgivable to me. I think you are incredibly courageous to share this with us. Thank you, Tim :hug:

Me, too LL. Never will understand it. My father is paying for his sins. I think, no I know, that if my Mum had lived this wouldn't have happened. I know that in my heart.

 

Thanks for all your kind words, encouragement and support LL.

 

Means the world to me.

 

tim

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On 11/20/2015 02:14 PM, skinnydragon said:

Aw God, that was awful Tim.

 

Not the writing, you did it well and made me feel your horror.

The situation was (is, I suppose, as it still happens every day) one which never should be allowed to happen. And it was forced upon you, as a young boy, by people's alleged belief in a savior who would have been on your side and not theirs. That's the little comfort you can wrest, I hope.

 

It was very frank and took some guts. Thanks for opening my eyes again.

Hey SkinnyD. I'm comforted now because I have all of you, my family and friends. I can look back now and not fall into depression or self-harm. I can write it and I hope that means I'm saying good-bye to it. Or at least the past will stay were I put it; that I'm stronger than it is. I think I am.

Thank you for your support, my friend. I appreciate it.

 

tim

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I agree with everyone else; I didn't want to hit the 'like' button, and I only did it for you and your rep votes, not because I liked the chapter. It was an extremely well-written chapter, but the content was not good at all.

 

You are an inspiration to everyone out there, Tim. You were able to get out from that horror. Not all do. I would think most of them don't.

 

Jeff was a disgusting person, but not as despicable as your sperm donor (I would never call him a 'father'), and his awful sisters. I am so sorry you didn't have your mom around to protect you.

 

I totally agree with Lit; as a mother, I find it incomprehensible that parents, or a parent, can just kick their child to the curb without a second thought. That is not the definition off a parent. That is not what a true parent would do.

 

I am so sorry you had to live through all that horror, and I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you to write this chapter, reliving that particular part.

 

I'm so happy that your life has completely turned around. You probably wouldn't be able to write this if it wasn't.

 

One thing I've been wondering though: I have noticed that you always write your name 'tim' instead of 'Tim'. You do address other people using the capital of the first letter of their name, I'm just wondering if there's something in your subconscious that is behind you using the lowercase 't'. Or maybe I'm just trying to psychoanalyze something that's not there! :P

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On 11/20/2015 02:35 PM, Lisa said:

I agree with everyone else; I didn't want to hit the 'like' button, and I only did it for you and your rep votes, not because I liked the chapter. It was an extremely well-written chapter, but the content was not good at all.

 

You are an inspiration to everyone out there, Tim. You were able to get out from that horror. Not all do. I would think most of them don't.

 

Jeff was a disgusting person, but not as despicable as your sperm donor (I would never call him a 'father'), and his awful sisters. I am so sorry you didn't have your mom around to protect you.

 

I totally agree with Lit; as a mother, I find it incomprehensible that parents, or a parent, can just kick their child to the curb without a second thought. That is not the definition off a parent. That is not what a true parent would do.

 

I am so sorry you had to live through all that horror, and I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you to write this chapter, reliving that particular part.

 

I'm so happy that your life has completely turned around. You probably wouldn't be able to write this if it wasn't.

 

One thing I've been wondering though: I have noticed that you always write your name 'tim' instead of 'Tim'. You do address other people using the capital of the first letter of their name, I'm just wondering if there's something in your subconscious that is behind you using the lowercase 't'. Or maybe I'm just trying to psychoanalyze something that's not there! :P

You're right Lisa.. I am tim.. not Tim.. I cant do it. Least not right now.

 

There will be more about daddy dearest and Jeff. My mum would never have let me go, never. Have no doubt about that. She's the reason I made it cuz of her words to me. More about that later too.

 

I've been lucky and I know it because well if it wasn't for Jeff, I'd likely be on the street still or dead.

 

Thanks for your support, for reading and for your thoughful comments. They mean the world to me, really do.

 

tim

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As with Isaac and Gary and Caz and Reader and Lit and the others this was hard to read and like. But you've told us more of your story, simply, honestly. It evokes emotions ... anger ... hurt ... embarassment ... shame, yet none of those directed at you but rather at all those around you. What I feel for you is far different ... love ... pride ... respect. I wish that your past life had been other than it was but if wishes were fishes we could feed the hungry. This was your past, it has brought you ... "TIM", undiminished ... where you are now and that is a place of joy.

 

Namaste little brother.

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tim, my heart goes out to you over this. You write with a level of detail that I still can't bring myself to do. I'm glad you got out, survived and even found someone. It reminds me how lucky I was not to meet someone like jeff, though all the johns over the years weren't much better. My like is strictly for how well written this chapter of your life is.
Wolf

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Tim, I'll be frank, I had to skim over some of the scenes.
When it comes to what I read, certain topics are hard for me read about. Mind you, I don't turn away from stories that have abuse, violence, or some other terrible thing.

 

I've read from Craftingmom, InTheMindofSunshine, Vlista20, and so on who are very candid about these subjects.
And they are fantastic writers... as are you. Tim, I am with everyone in saying that I "liked" this more for the fact that not only are you a gifted writer, but are one of the bravest men I have ever met. To share such experiences so honestly, boldly, and personally takes my breath away.

 

These are hardships that are unimaginable for many and, sadly, a reality for many. As I write this review, I am filled with complete and utter disgust with your 'sperm donor' (Lisa hit the nail on the head with that) your aunts, Jeff, and all those johns.
I am very atheistic, but right now I am wishing they are or will be rotting in hell.

 

Tim, thank you for sharing something so personal :hug: and I'm so happy that you have a far better life today then all those years ago :kiss:
I'm glad to have met you.

  • Like 3

I heard many times "everything happens for a reason". Right now I'm thinking what kind of reason was strong enough for you to go through that nightmare of a life? And I can come up with only one: you meeting Michael.

 

Out of respect for you and everyone here, I'll restrain my hatred for your so called family and jeff (even saying his name makes me feel nauseous). You have no idea how much I wish they could see you now. Happy, with a loving husband and a better family, and a bunch of friends (crazy sometimes) who support you in every possible way.

 

I guess it's not easy for you to be sharing all of this with us. But hang in there. A dear friend of mine told me "better out than in". So if you have more you want to say (or write, whatever), I'll be here ready, and I'm sure everyone else will be too.

  • Like 2
  • Love 2
On 11/20/2015 03:28 PM, dughlas said:

As with Isaac and Gary and Caz and Reader and Lit and the others this was hard to read and like. But you've told us more of your story, simply, honestly. It evokes emotions ... anger ... hurt ... embarassment ... shame, yet none of those directed at you but rather at all those around you. What I feel for you is far different ... love ... pride ... respect. I wish that your past life had been other than it was but if wishes were fishes we could feed the hungry. This was your past, it has brought you ... "TIM", undiminished ... where you are now and that is a place of joy.

 

Namaste little brother.

Thanks dugh.. writing this and the reviews ... oh I think i made a huge mistake posting it. I don't if I can post any more of them. It's too much for you all and me.

 

thanks for your support and your kind words, it is appreciated

 

tim

  • Like 2
  • Love 2
On 11/20/2015 03:45 PM, WolfM said:

tim, my heart goes out to you over this. You write with a level of detail that I still can't bring myself to do. I'm glad you got out, survived and even found someone. It reminds me how lucky I was not to meet someone like jeff, though all the johns over the years weren't much better. My like is strictly for how well written this chapter of your life is.

Wolf

You know what WolfM, I don't think I can do this. It was a mistake for me and for anyone who reads it. Maybe I should have talked to you first. Really not coping.

 

Thanks for reading, yeah? I appreciate it.

 

tim

  • Like 2
  • Love 1
  • Sad 1

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