Chapter 24

Hands slid over my calves, soft and massaging. The deep voice soothing. I shifted, wanting more of the gentle touches. I sleepily opened my eyes to the bewitching smile gazing down on me. Those cinnamon eyes dancing with... was that affection? Yearning? Tenderness?

Yes, yes, it was... and it was... for me...

That smile, those lively eyes... I smiled, humming in pleasure at the warm, kneading fingers on my leg. I sank back, sliding into hazy contentment.

Sharp. Digging. Fingers.

My eyes shot open. The amicable face morphed into another—familiar and leering, filled with rage.

"You're mine, pet."

"No!" I thrashed as I was yanked to the floor, my back exploding in a burst of pain. I tried to curl into my protective ball as phantom cane strikes rained down across my spine.

"Kye!" He was holding me down...

"No, please, Master!"

"Kye!"

I jerked. Master never called me by my name.

"Wake up, Kye! You're dreaming." Another jolting shake of my shoulders.

Dreaming? I blinked rapidly, trying to focus in the dark.

Ash. Those intense eyes lined with worry and concern. His grip loosened as I stilled.

Oh, gods, had I awoken him? Had I been screaming so loud as to rouse him from his own bed? Who else had I disturbed?

"Are you better?" His voice sounded sleep-roughened.

I nodded, swallowing thickly. "Yes," I croaked out. "I'm—I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

He shook his head to dismiss my apology. "I was just worried about you."

"I'm better now," I admitted with a sigh. "Was I that loud?"

A small smile tipped his lips as he perched on the edge of the bed. "No, I'd fallen asleep in the chair." He pointed over towards the fireplace where we'd spent the evening together, to the chair I'd seen him gravitate to before.

"Oh." I flushed a little, feeling a mix of embarrassment and delight that he'd stayed in the room with me even after I'd fallen asleep.

"It sounded like you had a nightmare."

I nodded. "Yes, I was dreaming about—" I almost said 'you' but managed to cut myself off before I humiliated myself even more. "—about something nice, but then it changed... and Mas—Barrett was there... w-with his c-cane."

I could barely make out the frown that marred Ash's face in the dark before it smoothed, and he swept his hand over my head, stroking over my shoulder. "I hope you know you're safe here. I won't let anything happen to you."

I smiled as I nodded. "Yes, I do." And I did.

"Good." He patted my hip as he rose.

He was leaving. I panicked, my hand shooting out to grasp his wrist. He jumped, startled at my suddenly grip. "Please."

He cocked his head, questioning.

"Please don't leave yet," I begged hoarsely, sleep trying to drag me back under.

The amused smile returned as he lifted my hand, putting it to his lips. "Of course, teh amari."

I blinked as he laid my hand softly back on the bed. Had he just said—? No, no, he couldn't have. How could he—? Why would he call me 'his love'?

When he pulled away, I grunted in protest. He chuckled softly as he pulled a chair closer, "Shhh, Kye, go to sleep."

"But—"

"Sleep, Stubborn. I'll be here."

His features faded into the darkness, but I could still sense his presence, hear his soft breaths nearby as sleep reclaimed me.

Dreaming. I had to still be dreaming...

****

Rising the next morning, I yawned, stretching out from my curled position. My mind flitted over last night's dreams... and nightmare. I bolted up, my eyes darting around the empty room, landing next to the bed.

A chair. There was a chair next to the bed. Just as I had dreamed. Was it a dream? Had Ash rescued me from my nightmare? Had I really begged the viscount to stay with me like a frightened child? Had he called me... his amari? His love?

I shook my head, hoping to clear it. It didn't help. I felt as confused as I had in my dream.

I eventually climbed out of the bed, finding a set of clothes laid out on the chest as always. I carried them to the bathing room with me, resting them on the counter. At some point, after my first morning here, the citrusy shaving soap and utensils had been removed. The girl who covertly cleaned—Amelia—must have decided I didn't need them. I wondered why she would bother taking them. I may not have any use for them, but another guest might eventually.

Shrugging, I enjoyed a leisurely bath. Ash had told me last evening to come find him in his study after I woke. He wanted to show me around the grounds today, and I was excited to be going outside again.

When I crept down the stairs, peeking around corners and doorways, I felt uneasy, like an intruder in the Sterling home.

"Looking for something?"

I jumped, turning to the voice behind me. Liam was standing there with an amused smirk, his arms crossed over his chest. My heart pounded in mine.

When had he gotten back? I thought he would still be gone doing deliveries.

"I—I was looking for—Ash, um, Lord Ashton," I corrected quickly, "Uh, he told me t-to find h-him..."

The steward laughed at my discomfiture. "Come on, boy, I'll take you to him."

He... he wasn't angry that I was wandering around?

The man's shoulders were relaxed as he sauntered down the hall. I followed, unsure of this friendlier side of the steward.

He turned into an open doorway. "Look what I found wandering lost in the hall?"

I peeked around him. The count and viscount looked up from whatever papers they were studying.

"Liam! You're back. We weren't expecting you until at least this afternoon," Rowland greeted.

Ashton nodded his good morning to the steward before his eyes slid past the taller man to me. The spark that lit his face made me smile back at him.

"We made haste as fast as we could," Liam was explaining his early reappearance. "I thought the faster we finished, the less time we gave bandits to accost us."

"Ahh, well done. I'm sure Donnelly will be back soon as well," Rowland agreed.

I hadn't noticed that silence had descended on the room until Rowland chuckled and slapped his brother on the back before rising to his feet. Our eyes snapped away from each other to the count.

"Ash, why don't you go get some fresh air? Liam and I can work on the ledgers for a while. You've had to carry everything yourself during my convalescence. It's my turn to handle things for a bit."

Ashton rose gracefully, a slight flush on his face as he nodded to his brother. Ashton only offered a cursory wave as the reunited lovers embraced with a whispered "I missed you."

"Come along, Kye." Ashton ushered me from the room down the hall. "Let's find you something to eat, then I'd like to show you my favorite place to think."

****

It turned out that I'd already seen his favorite hideaway. The gardens, specifically the one where the statue honoring his mother rested.

"My mother loved it here," Ash explained, but I could tell he was tense. I was too, remembering what had happened the last time I was here.

The viscount clenched and unclenched his hands, fidgeting nervously. His anxiousness had me on guard. I didn't like this side of the man, so uncertain and flustered.

Finally, he sighed heavily, turning to me. "Kye. I'm so sorry."

What? Why was he sorry?

He stepped closer. "I acted horribly when I found you here before."

Oh. "I—"

"No, don't even try to apologize," he cut me off. "I know you're about to, and you have no reason to. I was just so startled— I didn't mean to scare you as I did."

I didn't know what to say, so I just nodded.

"I brought you back here because I wanted to share it with you. I don't want you to only remember that day."

I glanced around, smiling. "It is beautiful. I can understand why your mother loved it here." I took a breath to steel myself before risking my next words. "Tell me about her?"

The tension in Ashton's body broke as he grinned. He guided me toward the bench I'd sat on all those days ago, and leaned in close to me. And there we lounged while the sun rose higher in the sky, the rays creeping over the garden as he told me about his mother and father. About how they doted on him and his brother, about how they had loved each other fiercely. He told me stories of when he was a child as well as of when his father had first started instruction on the nuances of running the estate. I knew without a doubt that the late Count Sterling loved his sons fervently. I sensed the pride and love Ashton had for his parents as well as the sorrow of their loss.

I didn't have that. I felt the loss of my mother, but I knew she hadn't cared for me as much as Ashton's had for him, or even as much as she had for Tareth. And my father certainly had never shown any pride in me.

Ashton must have sensed my melancholy because he pulled me against him. I sighed heavily, breathing in his lemony-rosewood scent. "He was a fool." I looked up. "Your father. He was a fool. How could he not see the incredible spirit you have is beyond my comprehension."

I looked away, eyeing some weeds poking up amongst the lilies. "He didn't care," I whispered. "He sent me to that—that man..."

"I know," Ashton said tightly, and I looked back at him to see his jaw clenched, his eyes stormy. "Reth told me what he did, what happened to your mother. I'm sorry your mother passed away... he should have told you, allowed you to mourn..."

I swallowed thickly, nodding, not trusting myself to speak.

"I'll find her," Ashton continued. "We'll find where she's buried so you can say good-bye."

I gaped at him, emotion nearly choking me. "Thank you."

****

We ate lunch in the kitchen with many of the other servants. I was surprised at how at ease they were with their lord in their midst. It was obvious that the viscount regularly joined them by the way they greeted him with both deference and joviality. Barrett nor any of his peers would ever deign to lower themselves to consort with the lower classes like this.

Afterwards, we checked on Tareth in the stables and found that the other wagon troop had arrived as well. My brother was tending the horses newly returned while Marcus, Donnelly and their escorts had retired to their beds to rest. After giving me a hug and Lord Ashton a small bow, Tareth told me he'd see me at supper. Then he returned to brushing down the sweat-slicked hide of a tired mare, talking in hushed tones to the beast. I grinned at his affinity for the animals.

I didn't begrudge his need to care for the horses. He had always enjoyed taking care of our father's mule, Betsy, as well. I suspect now that the only reason Betsy fared as well as she did was because of my brother's nurturing.

Ashton and I left Tareth to his domain. We walked for quite a while as he showed me the estate grounds. I did wonder if he shouldn't be returning back to his study to work, but I didn't dare say anything. He was leaving tomorrow at noon, and I was therefore unlikely to see much of him. I was enjoying whatever time the man would afford me.

He amicably greeted everyone with a wave and a smile. I never sensed any acrimony or resentment toward the noble; certainly not like I had seen from my balcony at the marquis's. Many had grumbled about Barrett's stingy ways, like Sam and Alisha had. Of course, they had thought, as his amorato, that I had benefited from his gluttony as well.

As we rested at one of the pastures and I leaned my arm on the top railing, I realized that Ashton's hand was rubbing at the back of my neck as he talked. In fact, throughout the day he had subtly touched me rather often, and I found that those were the times I'd felt most at ease—when his hand smoothed over my shoulders, when he guided me with his palm pressed to the small of my back, when he'd patted my thigh when it was time to get up and move on.

When he turned to lead us back toward the house, I slipped my hand in his, hoping I wasn't overstepping my place.

He froze, and I glanced up worriedly. I offered a timid smile before squeezing his hand. A wide smile brightened his face as he laced his fingers with mine, holding tight.

I didn't remember much of the walk back to the house.

****

"You look tired. Did I wear you out this afternoon?"

I was leaning into Ash's shoulder, attempting to see over his shoulder at the book he'd been reading, wondering if I could still make out some of the words mama had taught me—when I'd yawned, really big.

I tried to bite back my obvious fatigue because I didn't want him to leave yet. "No, no, sir, I'm fine. Please. Continue reading."

A slight smirk appeared. "Yes, little one."

I wrinkled my nose in distaste at him. "Sorry. Ash," I corrected, "please finish the chapter."

He laughed as he settled back, moving his trapped arm to the back of the couch, so I could see the book better. I obviously hadn't been that subtle in trying to sneak peeks at the book. As I leaned closer, his deep rumbling voice resonated though my body. It was hypnotizing, and I found myself blinking heavily, fighting to stay awake.

When a heavy weight settled on my shoulder, warming my side, I gave up the fight. While the deep voice still vibrated through me, I had no sense of the meaning of the sounds anymore.

"—you asleep, ama—?"

The tone of the voice had changed, rousing me slightly, but I wasn't sure what it was asking. A rumbling chuckle shook my head as my musky sweet pillow moved under me.

"I guess so. Time for bed then."

I grumbled at being moved but eventually sat up on my own before being guided to the huge fluffy bed. Ash helped me remove my shoes and the outer tunic, leaving me in my soft shirt and pants. I rolled over and curled into the pillow.

"'night, Ash-mari..." I mumbled sleepily and almost inaudibly.

I felt his hand still on my shoulder where he was patting it in an affectionate good night gesture.

"—od night, teh amari..."

Such sweet dreams again...