Kisses - 1. Chapter 1

Kisses

The thought that was first and foremost on Chase's mind was whether or not he and his girlfriend would be going "all the way" that night. It wasn't a very high possibility, seeing as his parents or older sister would be coming back eventually and that Brooklyn was still a little skittish when it came to her closely guarded lady parts, but hope reigned eternal, and he held onto the idea anyway. It helped that Brooklyn was feeling bold enough to straddle his lap, in a skirt no less, and was kissing him enthusiastically.

He ran a hand up her thigh, over smooth skin to the hem of her skirt and then back down to the safer region of her knee. Her weight felt good in his lap, radiating warmth and she tasted of the strawberry lip-gloss she favored and the faint sugary flavor of the gum she had been chewing earlier. He let his hand continue to roam as she kissed him harder, gripping his shirt near the waist--like she wanted to take it off but wasn't sure yet.

On each pass, he let his hand wander further and further under her skirt until his fingertips were grazing the lacy edge of her underwear. When he met with no resistance, he grew bolder, sliding his hands over the swell of her ass. This made Brooklyn rock forward slightly and he dropped his head, dragging his lips over her neck, smelling the heady scent of her floral perfume and her skin tasting faintly of salt and soap. He dropped an open-mouthed kiss over the point where her pulse was jumping against her skin, then another one right under the jut of her collarbone.

At this point, she was already running her hands up his chest, and he broke free of the kiss and reluctantly moved his hands as she bunched the material of his shirt with her fingers, drawing it up and over his head. Her hands were cold as she ran them over the expanse of his chest, and she shifted a little in his lap, which Chase really liked. He was already half hard and having that warm weight pressing against him in certain ways was sinfully erotic.

Brooklyn glanced at him, then teased one of the buttons of her blouse with her fingers, before slowly sliding the button free, letting her blouse open up to the point where he could see a slight hint of cleavage. He watched, entranced and growing more hopeful as she continued to unbutton her shirt, one button at a time. The anticipation was wonderful. She shifted off his lap, lying back against the couch cushions, her hair spread out like spun gold.

Chase took the unspoken invitation, climbing on top of her and leaning in for another kiss. One hand stroked up her thigh again, up to her hip and the other one slid up from her waist, cautiously brushing the band of her bra, which was a pale blue lacy concoction that felt stiff and slightly scratchy under his fingertips. Growing bolder, he slid his entire hand over one breast, cupping it in his palm as he deepened the kiss. It was heavy and warm against his hand, and he felt a small peak press against his thumb when he ran it over where her nipple would be. He groaned, and without thinking rolled his hips forward. He missed the weight and warmth of having Brooklyn on top of him, and he was lined up perfectly to press against the hint of heat underneath her skirt.

It was the wrong move and Brooklyn froze, then turned her head away, breaking the kiss and began to struggle out from underneath him.

"No, stop," she insisted, pressing against him with both hands, but Chase was already lifting up off of her so she could squirm out from underneath him. She sat up on the edge of the couch, burying her face in her hands for a few seconds, breathing heavily. Chase hoped she wasn't going to cry.

"I-I'm sorry," Brooklyn finally stammered, dropping her hands. She looked appetizing, her blond hair mussed and her lips red and shiny from kissing. "I just--I can't. I'm sorry. I--I'm just not ready. I can't."

"Hey, that's okay," Chase told her, drawing back. He took her hand and helped her stand up, then regretfully pulled the edges of her blouse back together. Brooklyn, her face turning red, quickly buttoned it up and readjusted her skirt while Chase pulled his shirt back on. He leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek, and then, when she turned to give him a grateful smile, kissed her on the mouth.

"Still want to head to Kyle's party?" Chase asked, which was the entire reason she had come over and had been their main plan for the evening before they had gotten distracted.

Brooklyn nodded, her gaze on the floor. Chase could still feel the strong mix of frustration and arousal and excused himself to the bathroom. He splashed cold water on his face, letting the shock of it clear his head. His erection was still pressing uncomfortably against his fly, and he briefly considered just taking care of it real quick, but the thought of doing that while Brooklyn was here struck him as rude and dirty.

He glanced up at the mirror. His dark hair was mussed from Brooklyn's hands, and his green eyes still looked angry. He sighed and cupped his hands under the flow of water and drank. He would never force a girl, and he always stopped when Brooklyn asked him to, but having them both going this far, half dressed and crazy with desire and then her cutting it short was annoying. If she wasn't going to put out, he wished she would just tell him, so that his expectations wouldn't get so high that he would inevitably be disappointed when she drew back.

When he finally exited the bathroom, he found Brooklyn sitting primly in an armchair, her purse in her lap and her jacket over one arm, obviously ready to go. He grabbed his jacket and followed her out to the car.

"Are you mad?" Brooklyn asked as Chase navigated the dark streets of his neighborhood before pulling onto the highway.

"I told you before, I'm not going to go any further than what you feel comfortable with," Chase told her.

"I want to Chase. I really want to," Brooklyn insisted in that plaintive tone that he hated. "I--I just--I don't know; we get to a certain point and I just freak out a little. I'm sorry."

"Don't you trust me?" Chase snapped. He knew he was being unfair, but the lingering frustration and her inability to drop the matter was grating on his nerves in a way it never had before. "I'm not going to break up with you for not having sex with me. And if you do, I'm not going to hurt you. And I won't tell anyone."

"What happens if we never do it?" Brooklyn asked quietly. Chase glanced up from the road and saw that she was sitting with her arms crossed over her chest and was determinedly staring out the window. Chase reached over and tugged her hand free, holding it with his own while his other hand controlled the wheel.

"Then we never do it," Chase replied, praying that the disappointment wasn't present in his voice. "I like you because you are sweet and cute and funny, not because I'm expecting anything."

Brooklyn gave him another smile and gently squeezed his hand.

He pulled up to Kyle's house, blazing with light and already filled with people and music. He held Brooklyn's hand as they walked up, but as soon as she saw some of her friends from the cheerleading squad, she drifted off to talk to them. Chase let her go and made for the kitchen, investigating the snacks. The pizza and taco bar had already been picked clean, but there was still plenty of popcorn, chips and wings set out with a cooler full of drinks on the floor near the back deck.

Chase was kneeling down, rooting through the cooler for a Coke when someone else reached for the same bottle at the same time.

"Oh crap, sorry," the other person said. Chase glanced up and saw a guy that he only vaguely recognized, with brown hair and brown eyes, smiling back at him. Chase pulled the Coke free and fished around for another one, and handed it up to the guy. "You wanted one?"

"Yeah, thanks," the guy said, taking it. "Would there happen to be a Dr. Pepper in there too?"

Chase swept his hand through the cold churn of ice and water, looking for the dark red label.

"Here," Chase said, finding one and pulling it out. The boy leaned forward and before he could take it, a small, dark figure came running in and jumped onto the other boys' back. "Terry! I need a Coke. I neeeeeed it!"

The other boy, Terry, overbalanced and ended up falling to the floor, narrowly missing Chase and nearly upending the cooler. Chase caught it by two corners before it could tip over, and Terry disengaged himself from the girl who had tackled him.

"For Christ’s sake, CC!" the boy shouted. "What the hell is your problem?" The girl, dark haired, dark eyed and dark skinned, pouted. Then she extended her arms out, waving her hands. "Cooooooooke."

Terry huffed out an annoyed breath and handed her the Coke.

"Thank you!" she squealed, hugging Terry and almost knocking them over again.

"For fuck's sake, CC!" Terry bellowed again, and she hopped off, giggling madly. The whole situation, from Terry's embarrassment and the other girl's hyper enthusiasm, reminded Chase of a sitcom and he laughed at the show. This caught the girl's attention, and she beamed at him, leaning over Terry to extend her hand. "Hey, I'm Sierra!" she exclaimed.

"Hey, I'm Chase." He had to reach out a bit to grip her hand, which felt very small in his own.

Sierra's smile became slightly fixed.

"Chase? Brooklyn's boyfriend?"

"Yeah," Chase replied, a little curious about Sierra's reaction. Her eyes were circling the room, looking at just about everything but him. "You know her?"

"We share a couple of classes; she's in my year," Sierra chirped. Chase briefly wondered what Brooklyn was telling her friends to elicit such a strange reaction. Or maybe this was standard behavior for Sierra; strange behavior for a strange chick.

Chase shrugged it off as Sierra, gripping her Coke, kissed Terry on the cheek and practically skipped from the room.

"Sorry," Terry offered.

"Wow," Chase said. "Is she usually so...hyper?"

"Not this bad, not usually. Sierra's pretty energetic, but add the excitement of a party and all the sugar she's been consuming, and she reverts back to a hyperactive ten-year-old." Terry shrugged. "It's annoying, but she's fairly new to the school and wants to meet more people, make friends, so I brought her. Gotta love her, though, even if she is a pain in the ass."

"Aren't they all," Chase muttered, and Terry laughed. "But if she knows Brook, she can introduce Sierra to the girls on the squad. Does Sierra like to cheer?"

"I'm not sure if she's tried before. She did track and swim team at her old school."

Chase thought about going to find Brooklyn and introducing her to Sierra, but found himself lingering in the kitchen to talk to Terry. He knew the boy from occasional classes, but had never talked to him before. Terry admitted that he wasn't a huge fan of parties, preferring to spend his weekends volunteering, hiking, and playing video games.

"I'm kind of an introvert," Terry admitted sheepishly, shoving his hands in his pockets. "This party and stuff isn't really my thing. It's more for Sierra."

Chase nodded sympathetically. He was an introvert as well, but Brooklyn liked to party. He usually found himself in these types of situations, seeking out quieter parts of the house and talking to a few friends or people he knew from school while Brooklyn danced and gossiped.

He reluctantly followed Terry back into the main room, where most of the girls and a few of the guys were dancing to some song that apparently came with a dance routine. Brooklyn was there, of course, with most of the cheer squad, as was Sierra. He watched Brooklyn dance for a while, which was always an enjoyable activity in and of itself, and hung out with some guys from the basketball team. He didn't see Terry again until he nearly bumped into him and Sierra as he exited the restroom. Sierra was pulling Terry down the narrow hallway.

"Come on, come on, it'll be fun!" she urged. Curious, Chase followed them into one of the bedrooms, where a group of people were sitting in a circle, and a girl was reaching for an empty rum bottle sitting in the middle.

Spin the bottle.

He rolled his eyes at the thought of such a juvenile game, but there was already a large circle of people involved, Brooklyn among them, and he saw Sierra and Terry joining the circle. On a whim, he joined in too, kneeling across from Brooklyn between two girls. One girl he knew from his History class, the other was a stranger. He watched as other players took their turns. Everyone was arranged in a typical boy-girl-boy-girl formation, but it was apparent that the players didn’t hold solely to opposite-sex encounters; players kissed whomever the bottle landed on regardless. He watched as two guys from the same rugby team paired up, giving each other an exaggerated, smacking kiss on the mouth, with the other participants laughing and cheering.

He watched carefully as Brooklyn spun the bottle. A small nagging doubt pulled at him with the thought of Brooklyn joining in a kissing game without him, but as one of the rugby players leaned in, Brooklyn demurely turned her head at the last minute, so the kiss landed on her cheek instead of her mouth, and he felt himself relax a little. He was disappointed when his turn didn't pair him up with Brooklyn, but the petite girl from the squad that he did kiss performed the same turning of the head, and Chase found he didn't mind. Brooklyn's next turn landed on Sierra, who looked at Brooklyn with wide-eyed surprise. Brooklyn pushed herself up on all fours and crawled to where Sierra was sitting before giving the other girl a long, drawn out kiss. The guys broke into applause and catcalls while the girls laughed. Brooklyn slowly drew back and settled back into her place in the circle. When she caught Chase's eye, she gave him a flirtatious grin and a wink. Chase shifted uncomfortably. The entire display, the crawling, the kiss, and the wink made his groin tighten hotly.

When his turn came, the bottle landed on Terry, leading to a chorus of whistling and laughing. Chase leaned forward towards Terry to kiss him. Chase had initially planned on only giving a quick, perfunctory kiss, but he remembered Brooklyn's flirty teasing at the last minute. So when he felt Terry's lips touch his, instead of backing off, he pressed forward a little into the warm pressure of Terry's mouth. Another round of cheers and laughter greeted them as they parted. Chase wanted to smile and wink back at Brooklyn, but found himself instead focusing on lowering himself down onto the floor without his suddenly shaky legs folding underneath him.

Thankfully, the game broke up shortly afterward when Sierra spun the bottle, and it landed on Terry. She had shouted "Ew, gross!" and ran out of the room, shrieking when Terry leapt to his feet to chase her. Chase grinned and tried to catch Brooklyn's eye, but she appeared preoccupied.

Chase caught up with her a few minutes later.

"Hey," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder and pressing a quick, chaste kiss into her hair. She turned and smiled up at him, but she still appeared distracted. "Dumb game, huh?"

Brooklyn dropped her gaze and fiddled with her rings, a sign that she was nervous or uncomfortable. "Yeah. I guess so."

Chase wondered if she felt bad for teasing him with Sierra or if the kiss with Terry had bothered her. "Wanna stay or head out?"

Brooklyn turned into him, pressing her head and face into his chest, and encircled him with her arms. Surprised, but not unpleased by this sudden display of affection, he wrapped his arms around her waist, returning the embrace.

"Take me home," Brooklyn whispered.

"Sure thing."

It was time to leave anyway; most of the party-goers were devolving into drinking and public making out, both activities that Brooklyn found distasteful. The car ride back to her house had been fraught with a tense silence that Chase had been afraid to break. Their strained conversation about the nature of their relationship from a few hours earlier still weighed on his mind, and he didn't want to spark another argument. As he pulled into her driveway he did try, briefly, to ask her about it again.

"What's wrong baby?"

Brooklyn turned to him. "What do you mean?"

"It seems like something is bothering you. Was it something from the party?"

Brooklyn took a deep breath. "Chase, I--I--"

Chase was quiet, watching her attentively. Brooklyn trembled and seemed to quail under his scrutiny, looking down into her lap and letting out a trembling breath. "I guess...I got a little jealous. Watching you kiss Brittany."

"Oh, sweetie." Chase leaned forward and kissed her gently. "I know. I hated seeing you kiss those other guys as well. It was a dumb game."

Brooklyn sniffed and wiped underneath her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm so stupid sometimes."

"No you're not," Chase said. He stroked a thumb along her cheek and kissed her again. "How about we just stay away from kissing games from now on?"

Brooklyn nodded and hugged him again. When she drew back, she kissed him, opening her mouth and letting him taste the inside of her mouth for a few seconds before she drew away and opened the car door.

"I better go, it's almost my curfew. Um...I'll see you at school Monday?"

"Sure thing, baby."

She waved and shut the door, trotting up to her front door.

 

Chase lay in bed, reflecting over the evening. It started well enough in his mind; he had managed to get further with Brooklyn than he ever had before (although their good night kiss was rather lukewarm in comparison). He had gotten to know Terry well enough to have scheduled a video game evening later that week. As a bonus, Terry's girlfriend seemed to be settling well into the social scene at the party. Maybe they could double date sometime.

Chase was content and relaxed but not ready for sleep yet. He was still slightly aroused and let the memory from earlier in the evening play over in his head as he slid his hand down his stomach to the bulge forming underneath his briefs. He rolled his hips up against the pressure of his palm, sighing slightly. In his mind's eye he saw Brooklyn, sprawled underneath him like she was earlier, blouse undone and skirt hiked up, revealing long tan legs.

Brooklyn usually kissed like a hummingbird, quick, light, and fluttering, occasionally drawing back before Chase could coax her back into a deeper kiss. The Brooklyn he kissed now kissed him back more like Terry did that evening, a firm, warm pressure of lips against his. This Brooklyn was not nervous and would never pull away. He thought of what would have happened if Brooklyn hadn't put a premature stop to their earlier explorations. Maybe he would have been able to reach underneath her to unhook her bra, push it aside and explore the sweet smelling skin there. Or maybe, maybe, she would have allowed him to slide his hand up underneath her skirt again, along the inside of her thigh and up under the lace and satin. The thought made him harder, and he rolled his hips up again, before shoving his briefs down to grip himself, feeling himself swell and stiffen in his grip.

He had only been intimate with one other girl besides Brooklyn, a pretty girl named Stacey that he could barely remember from summer camp, who had climbed on top of him one night, kissing him strongly and letting his hands roam underneath her clothes. It had been dark and hot, and he could remember more the excitement of what they had been doing than the physical sensation, which was mostly damp hot skin and her breath against his mouth and face. There had been an intense heat, wetness and something strange and alien closing around his fingers when she guided his hand in-between her legs and pushed his fingers up inside of her. He had instantly jerked his hand away, and she had laughed, before wrapping her own hand around his cock.

The girl from camp blurred into Brooklyn, even though he doubted that she would do those things in real life. He recalled the snatches of memory, remembered the feeling of breathless excitement and secrecy and began to move his hand, stroking himself firmly. It felt good, and he closed his eyes, picturing Brooklyn laughing softly and wrapping a wet hand around his cock and began to rock his hips up, pressing up into the grip, and letting the head of his cock rub against the sheet lying over him.

He imagined pulling Brooklyn towards him, kissing her while she stroked him. Kissing her like he had kissed Terry, a firm pressure, then her lips parting and allowed him to press forward, explore her mouth while she stroked and stroked and stroked. He wondered what it would be like, unlikely as it was, if Brooklyn ever took his cock into her mouth. He recalled the tight, alien heat that enfolded his fingers that one time, imagined if Brooklyn’s mouth would feel the same around his cock.

That was enough to send him over the edge and then he was cumming into his hand, gasping and pressing his heels into the mattress, his hips lifting off the bed. He panted, lying back flat as his heart continued to thunder, and tried to calm his breathing. His cum started to cool on his hands and groin, and he kicked his sheets off, reaching for some tissues to clean himself up.

Afterward, he flopped back onto his stomach and recalled the uncomfortable conversation in the car on the way to the party. He had meant what he said to her, that he had no intention of pushing her past what she was comfortable with or dumping her for refusing sex, even though he thought it might be nice to go a little further. Stacey had been randy and uninhibited, wasting no time in showing him what she wanted even though he hadn’t been able to give it to her. Brooklyn had been different, wanting to move more slowly, to build a relationship on more than just sex, and Chase was okay with that, at first.

Now, though, he didn't know. Brooklyn was technically his first girlfriend, although many of his peers had gone through at least two or three relationships by his age. He was glad that he had gotten a girlfriend at all. Most of his youth he hadn't cared about girls at all, even when most of his friends began pairing off. He only cared about basketball practice and keeping his grades up, then puberty hit him like a freight train and things began changing. He began to notice girls, and, unsettlingly, a few boys as well. He noticed the girls in his classes, how they were developing, their lips when they were talking and the sweet way they smelled, and the smooth skin of their legs when they wore shorts or skirts. But then...

At first, he thought it was pure curiosity that led his eyes to other guys. He was developing and wanted to see how his body compared to others. But that failed to explain the way he was drawn to the way certain guys smiled, how the sun caught their hair, and the irresistible draw of his eyes to the muscles of their abs and legs during gym and basketball practice.

He began to develop crushes. The shy, giggly girl with long dark hair and tortoise shell glasses that sat near him in English class and couldn't read a passage without turning pink in the face. His chemistry partner, a lanky blond-haired lacrosse player. Chase could remember being distracted by his hands as they reached for different beakers and supplies, wanting to grab it and...he didn't know, kiss it or maybe just hold hands. He didn't do either, just sat there, helped perform the experiments and told every single chemistry joke he could think of, because they made the lacrosse player smile. He liked the freckled redhead with the short bob cut that sat across from him in math class with her high-pitched voice and penchant for fuzzy sweaters. He liked the quiet, dark-haired, dark-skinned boy that always sat on the school steps and played his guitar before class.

When he was crushing on a girl, he was sure he was straight. When he was crushing on a guy, he was sure he must be gay. Adding all that on top of a raging swirl of teenage hormones, and Chase wasn't even sure which way was up sometimes. When he had a crush on a guy, he would consider coming out, but what would happen if he fell for a girl? Would he be called a fake? Would everyone think it had just been a phase? Was it a phase?

He wondered if all guys felt this way as they grew up, but he wasn't about to ask them. He didn't want to bring it up to anyone. Once, he went onto the Internet looking for answers, but came across a page full of different names. Asexual, demisexual, androgynsexual. It freaked him out, and he closed the page before even looking at the different definitions.

In some ways, Brooklyn had saved his sanity. He had met her, felt the crush coming on, flirted with her, and the next thing he knew, they were dating. It was nice. He still felt faint flutterings of attraction, watching other guys during gym class or other girls when he went to meet Brooklyn at cheer practice, but they were easier to ignore when he knew he didn’t have to entertain them. He was with Brooklyn, and he was attracted to Brooklyn...maybe more than attracted, with time...and somehow that made things easier.

Chase smiled at the thought of her, and turned onto his side, pulling the sheets tight around him. He had a girlfriend, who was beautiful, popular and sweet. He was one of the luckiest guys at his school.

But Terry really was a good kisser.

* * *

Chase went with Terry after school a few days later to play video games. He could feel a faint tingle of anticipation in his stomach, and knew that another crush was coming on. He firmly tried to quash it by focusing on Brooklyn, who was going shopping with her friends that afternoon.

"Nice room," Chase commented. Terry had a basement room, which was cool but had plenty of late afternoon sunlight streaming through the back windows, and contained a wooden platform that his bed rested on, facing an entertainment center with a television and several gaming consoles set up.

"Thanks," Terry said, depositing his backpack on the floor. "What kind of games do you like?"

Chase shrugged. He didn't play that many video games, spending most of his time with Brooklyn, studying for school or reading. "Whatever is popular, I guess."

Terry pulled open a drawer, which was full of video game cases. "Why don't you pick one? I'm going to go get a Dr. Pepper; do you want a Coke?"

"Sure," Chase said, kneeling down near the drawer and examining the few games that were closest to the top. Silent Hill 2.

Nope, Chase thought.

The next game was Outlast.

No way.

I Have No Mouth-- Chase dropped that one before finishing reading the title and reached for another.

Dead Space.

Holy God, this kid is a psychopath.

Chase skimmed through the majority of the games and most of them had provocative, eerie titles.

Terry came back with two tall glasses filled with ice and soda. He gave one to Chase.

"So?" Terry asked, taking a sip.

"Uh...do you have any games that won't give me nightmares for a month?" Chase asked.

Terry chuckled and started to dig through the games himself. "I guess you figured out I am a bit of a horror fan."

Chase shrugged. "I never saw the appeal."

"I guess it's appealing if you like to be scared. I like the adrenaline rush. And because none of it is real, of course. If I was in one of these games, I would be terrified, but when I'm playing, it's just fun." Terry pulled out a few cases. "I take it you are not a horror fan?"

"I would rather laugh than scream."

"Luckily for you, I bought some games that Sierra can play when she came over. She shares your aversion for horror."

Most of Sierra's games were of the Mario genre, but Chase found a few copies of Gears of War that he didn't mind playing, and in Sierra's small collection he found Puppeteer, which was actually more fun than it sounded originally.

Terry teased him about the horror games enough for Chase to grudgingly agree to try one for a few minutes before he left. Terry gleefully pulled down the shades to cast the room into almost total blackness.

"Those are some hardcore shades," Chase said.

"They're blackout shades," Terry said, crossing the room to settle back next to Chase and handing him a controller. "My aunt and her family stayed with us a few months this summer, and I had to share the basement with her. She had these installed because she worked nights at her new job for a while and slept during the day while I was at school. I kept them because I can block out the glare on the television, and it's a rule that scary movies and horror games need to be enjoyed in total darkness."

"It must have sucked, having to share your house with other people."

Terry shrugged, a move that Chase could barely see in the faint glow from the television. "It wasn't too bad. It was nice to have people at the house when I came home from school and now that everyone has settled down here, I get to see my cousins all the time." He leaned forward and pressed the power button on the gaming console. His teeth flashed in the darkness as he grinned. "Ready?"

Chase sighed and looked at the screen, controller in hand. "Ready."

 

Besides being pants-shittingly terrified most of the time, Chase was also so engrossed by the game that he ended up playing for another two hours. It wasn't until he got a rather pointed text from his mother asking if he was going to be home for dinner that he finally checked the time.

"Damn, I need to get going," Chase said, passing over the controller and standing up. Terry saved the game and stood up, turning on a lamp.

"Well, thanks for coming over. My parents will be thrilled if it looks like I actually have friends."

Chase chuckled. Dating Brooklyn and his participation in basketball ensured that he had a large social group, but if not for that, he would be in the same boat as Terry.

"Well, it was cool. I might even come over again to finish that game, if you don't mind all the screaming I did."

Terry laughed. "C'mon, I'll drive you home."

      

Chase knew he had a crush on Terry. He had all the usual signs. He found himself replaying the afternoon over and over again in his mind. Found himself glancing in his direction while in class more than was necessary. He would make up excuses to talk to him, pretending that he had missed the homework assignment from class or even asking how Sierra was.

He tried to curb his feelings, as always, by focusing on Brooklyn, but it seemed that she always had extra cheer practice, lots of homework, or was going shopping with her friends, so that he hardly saw her. She was still texting him, kissing him in between classes and sitting with him at lunch, which helped.

He had several more video game dates with Terry (he couldn't help but think of them as dates) and he savored every second. Watching Terry play, the light of the television over his face, his smile, his laugh, the warmth of him when Chase would sit down next to him. He even liked the cologne Terry wore, something that smelled clean and fresh and vaguely like apples. Chase thought about kissing him again, if his mouth would taste like apples.

He found himself talking to Terry about things that he hadn't talked to anyone else about, about how he met and started dating Brooklyn, about why he liked to play basketball, about his parents and older sister. He even opened up a little bit about his frustration with how slowly his relationship with Brooklyn was progressing. Terry was a good listener, always nodding empathetically when Chase would talk, but Chase began to realize that he hardly knew anything about Terry himself. He would have to remedy that the next time he saw the other boy.

 

"Hey, Chase!"

Chase looked up from his locker as he slammed it shut. It was Nick, one of his teammates.

"What's up?"

"Practice is canceled today."

"Why?" Chase pulled his bag up on his shoulder.

"Something's up with the gym; they had it blocked off. I think it flooded or something. Just came from there."

"Huh." That meant that Brooklyn wouldn't have cheer practice either. Maybe he could catch a ride with her. "Thanks, man."

"See you later."

Chase turned and made his way through the halls. Brooklyn's last class was History, so she should be in the Sophomore Hall. He could vaguely remember her class number...206 maybe?

He found her in 208. Brooklyn was there, but she wasn't alone. She was sitting on a desk, her legs swinging lazily, as she leaned forward, speaking in a low voice to another person. They shifted a little and Chase saw it was the girl from the party, Terry's girlfriend, Sierra. He was about to call out a hello, when Sierra leaned forward, combed Brooklyn's hair away from her face and kissed her. Chase's friendly greeting died unspoken as he watched. His body felt frozen, and his mouth was dry, his voice gone. Brooklyn tilted her head, deepening the kiss as she had done with him so often and let her legs fall open, inviting the other girl into the space. Sierra took the unspoken invitation, stepping closer and wrapped an arm around Brooklyn's waist, pulling them flush. Brooklyn was continuing to kiss Sierra, and the sound of it seemed very loud in the quiet of the classroom. Chase felt dizzy. He pulled back, pressing against the wall, his head spinning and his heart pounding. His chest ached, and he realized that he was holding his breath and forced himself to take a few breaths, in and out. The dizziness only intensified, and he felt nauseated, suddenly covered with a clammy sweat.

He took a jerky step back and, almost robotically, he turned and left the room, walking down the hallway. Students still filled the halls, jostling him, matching the turbulent nature of his thoughts. He was mostly in shock, but as he left the press of the crowd and headed towards the exit, some anger began to filter through. How dare she? How dare she?

And with Sierra. Not only was she cheating on him, but was cheating on him with another boy's girlfriend. It was making sense, now. All the extra cheer practice. All the shopping trips. All of the "I'm sorry baby, I just have this really big exam coming up." How many were lies? How many?

And all this time, he had been working so hard on repressing his feelings for Terry, determined to remain faithful. And all this time, she was cheating, going behind his back with another person, another girl.

He finally exited the building. He tried to calm down, to steady his breathing and wiped the sweat off his face, but all he could think about was the betrayal he felt, all the lies he had been told.

Had Terry known? Was he in on it too? Had he been responsible for distracting him so Brooklyn could fuck around behind his back?

He stalked away from the parking lot. His sister had the car and Brooklyn obviously wasn't going to drop him off, so he would have to walk home and right now that seemed like a good option. Clear his head and see if he could walk off some of the anger still burning through him.

Or that was the plan, until he saw Terry. He was leaning against the side of the building, looking at a book. Waiting on Sierra perhaps, once she was done kissing Chase's cheating girlfriend.

Chase approached and before he knew what was happening, he was shoving Terry up against the wall, the other boy dropping his book, which fell at their feet.

"Did you know?" Chase shouted. He had Terry pinned to the wall, hands on his shoulders, pressing him up against the bricks. "Did you?"

Terry looked surprised. "Know what?" he asked. He reached up, putting his hands over Chase's wrists. "Calm down, buddy. What's going on?"

Chase wasn't quite sure what he was doing. All he knew was that somehow in his head, that Terry=Sierra and that he was filled with rage and hurt. It was filling him up and looking for an outlet. He felt like he was burning up from the inside out and so he took the only revenge he could. He leaned in and kissed Terry.

It was supposed to be an angry kiss, a hard kiss, but Chase still couldn't keep himself from tempering it at the last minute, because even though he was furious, Terry had once been a friend. His lips were wonderfully pliant at first, and Chase was tempted to close his eyes, sink into the kiss and see if all the poisonous emotions and thoughts would just drain away. But a second later, he felt Terry's lips tighten, and he turned his head away, breaking the kiss.

"What the hell man?" Terry said, beginning to sound angry himself. Chase looked at him again, at the eyes glaring back at him, still feeling his shoulders under his hands and the taste of him on his lips. He was struck by an urge to knock him to the ground, climb on top of him and do all the things that Brooklyn would never let him do. Because she was a cheater and a liar. The anger flared again.

"Quid pro quo, right?" Chase said instead. "If your girlfriend can kiss my girlfriend, I should be able to do the same right?"

"Girl--what the hell are you going on about? Let go of me!" Terry gripped his wrists and shoved him away. Chase let him.

"Brook. Sierra. Together. I saw them."

"Brooklyn and Sierra?" Terry repeated.

"Yes, Brooklyn and Sierra. Your girlfriend was kissing her! Her! My girlfriend!"

"Okay, first, get a grip. Secondly, Sierra is not my girlfriend. Thirdly, I didn't have a thing to do with this, so stop taking it out on me." Terry glared at him again, then bent to pick his book back up and stuffed it in his backpack.

"I-I don't-" Chase was caught off guard. "You're lying! Stop protecting her; she's cheating on you too!"

"You're an idiot," Terry countered, swinging his backpack onto his shoulders. "Sierra's my cousin. She moved down with my aunt during the summer. I don't even like girls. And I'm sorry that your girlfriend is cheating on you with her, but I have nothing to do with it."

Terry turned and started to walk away. Chase wasn't having any of it. "Hey, wait--" He reached out and grabbed Terry's shoulder. Terry spun around, knocking his hand away and actually shoved him back. "I have nothing to do with this," he said again. He didn't sound angry anymore, more on the verge of tears. "Leave me alone."

Terry stalked off again. Chase didn't try to stop him.

 

Chase spent most of the afternoon brooding in his room. He felt stupid and embarrassed at the way he yelled at Terry. And kissed him. God. And he still felt simmering anger and betrayal layered on top of that. All in all, he was in a foul mood when there was a light tap on the door.

"What?" he snapped.

Sam, his older sister, opened the door. "Your girlfriend is here and wants to know if you would be willing to talk to her?" Sam sounded confused, but Chase went ahead and nodded.

"Fine."

Sam retreated and Brooklyn, who had been waiting in the hallway, came into his room and shut the door behind her. Chase saw with a pang that she was wearing his favorite outfit and had taken her hair down, so that it fell in loose waves around her face. She looked beautiful, and it twisted the knife deeper.

"Hey," she finally said, breaking the thick, uncomfortable silence.

"Hey," Chase said in return. It hurt to look at her, so he shifted his gaze to the floor. He could tell that Brooklyn was struggling to figure out how to proceed, and normally he would have taken pity on her and broached the subject himself, but he was feeling angry, mean and petty, so he stayed silent. Brooklyn moved so that she was across from where Chase was sitting at his desk and lowered herself onto the bed.

Brooklyn took a deep breath before speaking. "So, I guess you know what happened. Sierra called and said that you had confronted her cousin about it."

"Yeah. I saw you."

"Chase--I'm sorry; I didn't want you to find out this way."

Not I'm sorry I cheated on you, or sorry that I lied to you, Chase thought bitterly. Just sorry you got caught.

"How did you expect me to find out?" he bit out. "Or did you just hope that I never would?"

"No, I wanted to tell you. I just--I was scared."

"Of what?" Chase asked, feeling incredulous. He had never done or said anything remotely threatening towards Brooklyn.

"Well, of what I was feeling for one. For--for her. I thought that, that if, that if I dated you, it would...I don't know, fix it or something. I really, really liked you Chase, and I tried so hard to be a good girlfriend, but--"

"Good girlfriends don't cheat, Brook!" Chase shouted, the last tenuous thread of his temper snapping at the quaver in her voice. The worse part of it was that he could understand, a little, where she was coming from, because he had been dealing with it himself. The attraction, the pull towards someone that he knew he wasn't supposed to be attracted to. But he, at least, kept the temptation in check, which she obviously didn't want to.

"I didn't mean for any of this to happen!" Brooklyn shouted back. He could tell from the sound of her voice that she was crying, but he still didn't want to look at her. "I tried to tell you-"

"Bullshit," Chase interrupted. "How long?"

"How long?"

"You and her; how long?"

"Um...a couple of weeks I guess."

"You've been seeing her behind my back for a couple of weeks?"

"We had been spending a lot of time together and we just--we just clicked. She said I had to tell you, but I just didn't know how."

"How about just telling me the truth instead of stringing me along for the better part of a month?"

"It's not that simple, Chase, you don't understand!"

"You're damn right I don't understand," Chase retorted. He finally looked up and saw her, tears dripping down her face and her chest hitching as she tried to hold back sobs. A new emotion began to rise up in him. Disgust. "I don't understand how you could cheat on me, and lie to my face. You're not the person I thought you were." He stood up and walked to his door, opening it. "I think you should go."

"Chase--" Brooklyn sniffled, and it was obviously taking effort for her to keep her composure. "I--I don't want things between us to end like this."

"That is something you might have thought of before kissing another girl behind my back," Chase replied. His anger was draining away, making him feel exhausted and sick. He just wanted her gone. "Get out."

Brooklyn broke into a full spate of sobbing, but she acquiesced, running from the room with her arm across her face. Chase shut the door behind her with a sigh, leaned back against it, then slid to the floor. He pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his head on them, trying to breathe.

This is my first break-up, he thought, and for some reason, that sent him into a fit of hysterical giggles. He stayed in his room the rest of the afternoon, into the evening, refusing dinner, with thoughts of Brooklyn, Sierra and Terry crowding his head.

                 * * *

Chase spent the following weeks in a deep funk. The news about Brooklyn and Sierra had spread like wildfire around the school, as did their subsequent break-up. Most of their shared friends sided with Chase, as he was the wronged party, although most of the cheerleading squad stayed with Brooklyn. Most of his friends were sympathetic, while others joked about how poor of a lover he must have been, to turn his girlfriend gay. He could barely look at Brooklyn, which was fairly easy, as he only shared lunch and one class with her.

He also tried to avoid Terry, which was difficult, as they not only shared several classes, but try as he might, he couldn’t keep his eyes from straying in the other boy’s direction. They hadn’t talked since the day of the break-up and the ill-timed kiss, and Chase couldn’t even get past his embarrassment enough to give the other boy an apology. That, and he was still stinging from Brooklyn’s betrayal and knowing that Terry was related, even tangentially to the situation, also made Chase eager to keep his distance. But more than that, Terry continued to cast a light on thoughts and feelings that Chase had successfully managed to contain most of his life, and while Chase was in no mood to drag them out now, he couldn’t deny that he liked just looking at Terry, casting clandestine glances at him from underneath his eyelashes. He ached for the other boy, wanting to just talk to him, if nothing else, but he couldn’t even think of what to say. “Sorry I kissed you because I was mad that your cousin, who I thought was your girlfriend, seduced my girlfriend into a lesbian relationship”?

His one saving grace was that he didn’t hear a retelling of that story around the school, which meant that Terry wasn’t talking about it, or if he was, he was being discreet about it.

Chase began to spend a lot of his free time in his room or in the woods outside his house. He had been an avid tree climber when he was younger and found himself returning to the hobby, scaling trunks and seeing how far he could climb before the branches would stop supporting his weight. It was nice, like he was climbing away from his problems, leaving them down on the ground and climbing up towards the sky, which was clear and free.

That day had been particularly horrendous. Terry had been absent, which meant that he hadn't had a chance to steal a glance at him during class. After spending hours at a time with him in his basement room, Chase felt like he would be resigned just to look at him the rest of the year, and today he hadn't even been able to do that. Then, to make matters worse, his well-meaning but clueless English teacher called him and Brooklyn up in front of the entire class to read lines from Romeo and Juliet. The sickening irony of it almost made Chase laugh when he thought about it. Almost. He saw the pitying eyes of his classmates when walking back to his desk and almost wanted to scream I'm over her!

Except he wasn't, not by a long shot. Seeing Brooklyn drove him crazy; his first impulse was still to run up to her, drape an arm around her shoulders and give her a kiss on the cheek to make her smile. He had blocked her and Sierra on every piece of social media he could think of, but still had her number on his phone and would read over the old texts that she had sent him, trying to see if he could see her behavior shift over the last month of their relationship. He would think about her at night and sometimes, sometimes, let himself cry about it, just a little. He also thought of Terry a lot too, which made him feel guilty, even though he and Brooklyn were both free to date whomever they wanted now. Well, he was. Brooklyn had her new girlfriend.

He heard the creak and popping of twigs as someone approached, and so wasn’t too surprised when his older sister stepped through the foliage.

“Hey,” he said unenthusiastically.

“Yeah, I’m thrilled to see you too,” Sam said in return. She glanced up at where he was perched and dutifully climbed up an adjoining tree, settling down in a convergence of branches like he was, legs crossed. “What’s up?”

Chase shrugged. “Nothing.”

“So you’re sitting out here, alone, in the woods because everything is fine and dandy.”

“It’s quiet.” He stressed the last word, hoping she would take the hint. “It helps me think.”

“About what?”

Chase sighed, loudly. “A lot of things.”

“The breakup?”

It was the gentleness in her voice, rather than the question itself that made his throat snap shut. He knew that he could talk to Sam about nearly everything, but for now, he kept silent, dropping his gaze from her compassion to stare at his knees.

“Okay,” Sam said. “Can I ask you something?”

“What?”

“Were you having sex?”

“Sam!”

“I’m not going to tell anyone if you did. Especially not Mom and Dad. As long as you are being safe.”

Chase wondered if it was possible to die from embarrassment. “No, Sam, we weren’t having sex.” Yet. “Why would you even ask that? It’s none of your business.”

“I’m asking because you have been spending almost every moment of your life outside of school either locked in your room or out here in the woods. That’s not like you, Chase. We’re worried. You seem to be taking this breakup pretty hard.”

“It’s not just the breakup,” Chase said, surprised at himself for admitting it. “It’s…it’s a lot of things that are related to it.”

“Like what?”

“Do you know why we broke up?”

Sam shook her head.

Chase thought about how much to tell her, then decided to go all out.

"We were at this party, and I met this guy. His name's Terry. He had brought a girl, Sierra, who I assumed was his girlfriend. They were both nice; Sierra was a little hyper and immature, but aside from that, I liked them. I talked to Terry a bit, and Sierra was dancing with Brook and a bunch of her friends. Everything seemed normal. Then, a few weeks later, I went to meet Brook at her last class. My practice had been canceled, and I was going to surprise her and see if I could get a ride home. So I get there, and Brook is sitting inside the classroom, with Sierra. They were making out."

Chase paused to glance up at Sam. Her mouth was slightly open, and her eyes were wide. As they made eye contact she whispered, "Oh shit. Oh Chase, God, I'm sorry."

Chase returned his eyes to his knees. "I left without saying anything. I ran into Terry on my way out of the school, and I just lost my head. I started telling him about what Sierra was doing, and it was like he didn't even care. It turns out that Sierra wasn't his girlfriend, but I didn't know that at first. I was infuriated. I wanted revenge, somehow, but I didn't know how and he was right there, and I thought he was dating Sierra. Somehow, in my mind, it made sense that because Sierra was kissing my girlfriend, I decided to do the same and kissed this guy, Terry. And then he pushed me off and then I found out that he and Sierra weren't together. He was pretty pissed off when he left."

Sam looked thoughtful when he chanced another look at her. He didn't see any sympathy or pity in her face, and that helped.

"So then what happened?"

"Well, Sierra found out that I had seen them, and told Brook. Then Brook came over and broke up with me, you remember? She told me that she had these feelings for Sierra, but that she was scared of it and that she was planning on telling me about the two of them, but got scared. So basically, she just said that she was sorry and scared a lot, and that was it."

"Do you believe her?"

"About what?"

"About her being too scared to tell you. Like what did she think you would do?"

"I don't know. I never hit her, never even came close. I raised my voice a few times when we argued, but so did she. I don't know what she thought I would do."

"Did she think you would tell people? Like before she was ready?"

"I don't know what Brook was thinking. She had been lying to me about her and Sierra, so she might have been lying about why she was hiding it from me as well. I don't think she was overly worried about people finding out, because it is all over the school now and they didn't hear it from me."

"What about Terry?"

"What about him?"

Sam was quiet for a long moment, long enough for Chase to look up and see Sam studying him.

"What?"

"What do you think about what you did?" Sam clarified. "Kissing him?"

"I was mad. I wasn't thinking."

"Did you like it?" Sam asked.

"What? Kissing him?"

"Yeah, you idiot," Sam said. "Did you like kissing him?"

The denial sprung to his lips, but he was unable to force it out. The talk had been helping so far, had been wonderfully cathartic, but now he felt a tight fist of panic gripping his throat and chest. He couldn't speak, and even as he knew how damning his silence would be, he couldn't get words out of his throat. As though from far away, he heard the creak of branches and a few moments later, the sway of the tree underneath him and knew that Sam was climbing up.

As she wedged herself in the tight nest of branches that he was settled in, several of them groaned alarmingly.

"You're going to make us fall," Chase pointed out.

"It's not far," Sam said dismissively. "Listen, Chase, I want you to know...I need you to know that whatever you are feeling, it's okay."

"I don't know what I'm feeling," Chase ground out.

"That's okay too."

"I'm angry with Brook, but I miss her too, at the same time. I still love her, despite what she did. And I want to blame Sierra for everything, even though she wasn't the one who betrayed me."

"And Terry?" Sam prompted. "How do you feel about his role in everything?"

"He didn't have anything to do with it, really, aside from introducing Sierra to people by bringing her to the party. I think he knew she had a crush on someone; he didn't know it was Brook."

"Was he angry, when you kissed him?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. I was angry, and the kiss--it was supposed to be angry too, but it wasn't. But he just kind of stood there and let me kiss him. He pushed me away eventually. Then he got mad. But at first he just looked...I don't know...kind of stunned, I guess."

"You like him."

Chase tilted his head back. His face felt stuffy, like he had been crying even though no tears had fallen. "Yeah. Maybe. I don't know."

"If you do like him, that's okay. You know that, right?"

"I'm with Brook. I love her."

"You were with Brook. I know that you loved her, even though it sounds like she didn't love you. But the way you feel about this other guy...you can like both. That's a thing."

Chase shook his head. "I don't know. I don't know what to feel or what to do."

"Well, I can't tell you how you should feel. But I might have some advice as to what you can do."

Chase shrugged. "Can't hurt."

"Well, I don't think that you have much of a chance of repairing your relationship with Brook at this point."

Chase just shrugged again. Sam had a point. Even if things between Sierra and her didn't work out and even if Brooklyn decided that she didn't like girls as much as she liked guys, Chase doubted that he could forgive her for the infidelity and broken trust.

"But I do think you might be able to repair your friendship with this other guy."

"How?"

"Well, you'll need to talk to him, for starters. Apologize for what you did, obviously, but explain, calmly what was going on. I think he deserves that much. And you might be able to work things out, or you might not, but even if you can't be friends anymore, you can at least know that you tried the best you could."

"And if I want to be more than friends?"

Sam blinked and smiled. "Then you have more to talk about. I would try to rebuild what you had, first. Then maybe work on the more than friends stuff."

"You give pretty good advice for such an old broad," Chase teased.

"Watch it, child, I'll knock you out of this tree," Sam replied. "But yeah, you're welcome. When you've been around the block as many times as I have, you learn a few things. One is that you don't take back a cheating partner unless you have a really strong relationship and the cheating partner is willing to work on saving the relationship and making some serious sacrifices, and Brook doesn’t seem like she wants to do either. Secondly, is that relationships work better if there is a foundation of friendship. Don't jump the gun on this."

"I won't." Chase almost hugged her, but that was a little too much Full House for him, and he was too worried about the integrity of the branches they were seated on to risk it.

 

After dinner, Chase went over to Terry's house. He needed to apologize, like Sam said, and he didn’t want to have to do that over the phone. He debated knocking on the front door, but instead detoured to the back, the way he and Terry often went after school. He knocked loudly on the basement door, and a few seconds later Terry opened it.

"Hey," Chase said.

"Hey," Terry replied. He looked puzzled. "Uh, come in, I guess."

Chase stepped inside and Terry shut the door behind him. The blackout shades were drawn, even though it was already dark outside and Chase could see a gory video game scene, paused on the television. He quickly averted his eyes. Terry moved through the dark space, turning off the game and flicking on a lamp near his bed so that Chase could see well enough to navigate the room. Chase cautiously sat down on the edge of the mattress.

"What's up?" Terry asked, sitting at the other end and curling up against the wooden frame.

"I--I was wondering why you weren't in class today," Chase said. It wasn't totally dishonest, he was curious, but he also wanted a few minutes to build his courage up.

"I had a doctor's appointment," Terry said. "My mom keeps thinking that playing video games so much is going to ruin my eyesight, even though each time I go in, my vision is 20/20." Terry regarded him for a moment. "But I don't buy that you came all the way out here just to find out why I missed a few classes."

"No, I didn't." Chase wiped his suddenly sweaty palms against his jeans. "First off, I want to apologize for what happened last time I spoke to you. I was completely, totally out of line, and I shouldn't have done what I did or talked to you the way I did. I was pretty crazed, but that's not a good excuse. I lost my head, and I took things out on you, like you said, and I'm sorry."

Terry sighed, and his posture relaxed a little. "I accept your apology. But I feel a little bad, like I might have led you on a little bit, by never telling you that Sierra was my cousin. I understand that it looked like we might have been involved, even though we are not."

"Well, I mean, you shouldn't have needed to tell me, I mean, I guess I shouldn't have assumed--"

"No, no, it makes sense. Listen, Chase, can I---can you keep a secret? Seriously, it's important."

"Yeah, sure."

"I know that Sierra and I appear to be very close. And we are. When my aunt came to live with us, it was because she was leaving her husband, who had been abusing her for years. She brought her kids, Sierra and her three younger siblings.

"Things seemed okay; my aunt started to work and look for a place to stay. But Sierra would have nightmares, about her dad, and she would come down here, sometimes to sleep with her mom and sometimes, if I was still up, she would come talk to me. So we got really close during the summer, like siblings almost. It was--nice. So when school started, I really wanted to help her, you know, fit in a little, even though I'm not very popular myself. People were already assuming that she was my girlfriend and when I told them she was my cousin, they still thought we were too close and were dating anyway, which is gross and untrue. It was really annoying, so eventually, I just stopped trying to correct people. I figured the rumors would stop once Sierra started dating someone, and I knew she had a crush on someone, though she wouldn't tell me who. So, I could have been clearer about our relationship, and I wasn't. And I know we appear too close to be cousins, even though we are strictly platonic, so I understand how you got the wrong impression. But I still didn't like what you did."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have grabbed you, and I shouldn't have yelled at you, and I shouldn't have kissed you."

"I don't like to be yelled at, or shoved around. I didn't mind the kiss, but I did mind that you were using me as revenge against your girlfriend. I am not okay with that at all. That's why I kept telling you to leave me out of it."

Chase felt his face grow hot. "So you didn't mind the kiss?"

Terry blushed deeply. Chase grinned.

"Um..." Terry glanced around the room. "Do you want to play a game? I have...um..."

Chase moved across the mattress to where Terry was sitting, leaned forward and kissed him. Terry started a little, but didn't pull away. Instead he leaned into the kiss, one hand coming up to grip Chase's shoulder, the other coming up to rest on his jaw. That was interesting. Brooklyn almost never touched his face while they were kissing; they usually stayed right at his waist or on his hips. It was nice, the way Terry touched him, and it was nice when Terry's mouth opened under his when he pressed his advantage.

It was different, from Brooklyn, but it was nice. Which is why Chase was surprised and disappointed when Terry broke off the kiss, turning his head away and trying to put some distance between them. Had he done something wrong?

"Okay," Terry said, sounding breathless and looking delicious. "What's going on here?"

"What?" Chase asked. "You--you said that you didn't mind the kiss."

"I don't mind it," Terry said, looking up at Chase. "But you were with Brooklyn."

"Well, yeah, but we broke up. We're not together anymore, and I'm not taking her back."

"So...are you straight?"

There it was again, that damning question. "I just kissed you. What do you think?"

Terry wasn't going to let him deflect, though. "I don't know what to think. That's why I'm asking you."

"I--I don't know either. I liked Brook. I like you. I feel like I could be straight or I could be gay. I feel like I could be both at the same time."

Terry sat back, against the platform. "Do you think you might be bi?"

Chase flopped down next to him, staring up at the ceiling, which was easier than looking at Terry's face and not as distracting as looking at Terry's mouth, which he really wanted to feel against his own again. "I don't know what I am. I just know who I like. I've liked guys before. I've liked girls before. I liked a girl, but we broke up. Now I like you."

"Why me?" Terry asked, and he sounded genuinely baffled.

Chase smiled and closed his eyes. "Because you're an introvert like I am, but you went out to a party for Sierra, the same way I did for Brook. That means that you care about people you're close to, enough to do something that you might not want to do normally. You're smart and funny and cute. You found out that I had an aversion to horror games and found other things for me to play instead." Chase opened his eyes and tilted his head up to grin at Terry. "And you're a damn good kisser too."

Terry laughed and lightly socked him in the face with a pillow. Chase shoved it aside. "What about you?"

Terry looked down at him. "What about me?"

"Well. You said that you don't like girls. At all?"

Terry nodded. "At all."

Chase took that in and found that he was actually a little jealous. Terry didn't like girls, at all. That must have been easy to figure out. Unlike him, who couldn't figure out if he liked boys or girls or both. Of course, Brooklyn dated him, then started dating girls, so there was no reason that Chase couldn't do something similar. Chase sat up, slowly, moving so that he was very close to Terry.

"I want to kiss you again," he said.

Terry smiled, but put a hand up against Chase's chest to hold him off. "I think we need to hit the brakes a little bit."

"What?"

"Listen, I like you. Like, a lot. And I like kissing you too. But what I said before still stands. I'm not okay with you using me as revenge against your ex."

"That-That's not what this is about. Brook and I are done. Finito. Finished."

"You guys just broke up-"

"We've been broken up for a month!"

"And I'm not sure you are one hundred percent over her. I don't want to be your rebound, and I don't want you dating me just to show her that you are over her."

"But I am over her." But even as he said it, Chase found himself rethinking. About how he had acted over the last few weeks, how hard it had been seeing her in school, and about how much he still missed her. Was he over her? Was he really? "Okay, I'll give you the point about us just breaking up. And maybe I'm not over her all the way yet. But I'm not using you for revenge against Brook. That never even entered my mind. I started liking you before we broke up."

"There's more. If you are wanting to...have a relationship, I guess, that means you'll be seeing Sierra some, because she's important to me. That also means that you might be seeing Brooklyn on occasion too. Would you be able to handle that?"

Chase closed his eyes. He hadn't thought about that. He considered it and nodded. "Yes. It wasn't an amicable breakup, but the anger I had was more towards what she did, as opposed to who she is. So I can handle being around Brook if I have to. I can be polite and civil. As long as you don't expect us to double date or anything." He thought for a minute. "So are we setting terms or what?"

"I guess we are," Terry said. "I have two main requirements. One of them you just agreed to."

"You come with a side of Sierra and Brook, yeah, I'm okay with that," Chase said. "What else?"

"You know I'm concerned about you being fresh off a break-up. So I want a waiting period of at least a month before we renegotiate."

"Renegotiate? What is this, a business meeting?"

"Sierra would call it setting boundaries," Terry said. "I like rules. You should have some too."

"So, what, I'm not allowed to see you for a month?" Chase asked, trying not to sound disappointed.

"No, I said I wanted a waiting period of a month," Terry repeated. "I still want to see you. Hang out, come over, stuff like that. Be friends."

"Kissing friends?" Chase said hopefully.

"In a month."

Chase sighed in resignation. "Okay. I can do a month."

Terry smiled and turned back on the game console and held out a controller to Chase. Friendship first. Kissing later.

Chase reached out for the controller.

He would take it.

 

~END~