WL's Mainstream Gay Book Reviews - 6. What If It's Us by Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/36341204-what-if-it-s-us

Two Words describes this mainstream YA gay love story: Fated Romance

Yes, I am not the target audience of this kind of novel which is distinctly later teen to early twenties, but as a writer, I do like reading modern love stories with gay young adults, who are trying to figure out what is right in the very new world of gay dating for “out” youths. When I was a gay teen in the early 2000’s the gay literature of the time was underground, mostly dealing with gay teens hooking up and forming a relationship based on shared sexual interest. Those stories still exist, but our world has evolved and society has progressed, at least certain segments of it. Being gay is no longer something we hide, it’s something that is just part of who we are, like being Jewish, Latino, Left-handed, or a geek, just a characteristic.

This led us to two extremes in gay relationships that young adults and modern gay adults deal with: the “too-perfect” gay romance story version of love and the “dirty ugly” reality of messy human interactions. Both views appear and collide though in What if It’s Us, Arthur Seuss represents the romantic character, who idealizes not only his first gay romance due to his conservative wealthy Jewish background of Milton, Georgia. His chance at expressing himself and being open to exploring his sexuality in New York City, New York is like a fairy tale to him. Contrast Arthur with down to earth Ben Alejo, who is a recovering from a bad messy relationship with his ex-boyfriend. Ben isn’t a romantic ideal, he’s lost his virginity to a guy he does not love anymore, he’s from a hardworking Latino background with very little money. It’s not to say Ben is without Romantic notions as he is an aspiring amateur writer, but he is too afraid to be open about his expressive nature.

Ben met Arthur at a Post-office, where he was trying to mail a box containing all the gifts and items reminding him of Hudson Robinson, his ex-boyfriend. Arthur was running an errand for his summer internship at his mother’s law firm’s New York Office. The two had a chance encounter, made each other laugh, got caught up in a “flash marriage proposal” with a marching band. Then, left the post-office without exchanging contact information or even their names. This led to a very interesting segment describing the sad realities of modern romance: Craigslist “missed connection” is truly tragic place for lonely hearts, Facebook event crashers are pretty normal in our social media era, and Instagram/twitter stalking is something a lot of people do (there’s no shame or creep factor anymore). Eventually, Arthur took the low-tech move after finding pictures of Ben through a series of events, he made posters of Ben and stuck them up at local coffee shop bulletin boards in an antiquated version of “Craigslist” personals. Arthur and Ben reconnected through this and began a very beautiful and inevitably short relationship as both Arthur and Ben knew they had to separate after the summer, Arthur would return to Georgia with his mom and dad.

On paper, these two characters really do not work. I am glad the author actually portrays both characters as mutually distant and distinct without overlap. To a gay man reading this from an adult perspective, it reminds me of several ex-boyfriends I had in my early 20’s, we were too different to ever form any lasting relationship. There was realism in this story that I found refreshing and honest. Arthur’s exuberance was also quite charming, his imagination of wild romantic Broadway scenarios harkens to something in my memory, my first boyfriend. First boyfriend, I thought I would never leave him. I thought we could have wild adventures exploring boutiques and shops, take pictures of us making funny faces at revolutionary war statues, and share a romantic dinner at top of Hub, a restaurant in Boston back in 2000’s known for its wide panoramic views. What I got was a walk along Boston Common, a lunch a McDonalds, and several chaste kisses, plus a few hand-jobs. He never lived up to my romantic ideal, but unlike Ben, who actively tried to improve and be better in the short 2 months they were together, my first boyfriend broke off things after 6 months of the same. That’s the tragic reality about gay romance, we want so much more than what our partners can literally offer us sometimes, even when we offer to go further, it’s just not meant to be.

There was a scene of homophobia with the underground train, which I must point out for readers as being very realistic. It’s also why I am giving this story a few more points than Goodreads or Amazon has. Even in a city like Boston, where we literally began Gay Marriage, just holding my boyfriends’ hand could elicit such disdain from people. Words like “keep it in private”, “I don’t want my kid to see that”, and so on are used to dissuade people from being affectionate in public. It’s a reality that broke Arthur’s fairy tale romantic dreams of a liberal progressive New York City and brought him into the reality of conformist attitudes towards LGBT people. Even in the most liberal settings, sometimes we’re only allowed to exist out of view and out of mind, unlike our heterosexual counterparts. There’s no storybook romance in that truth or double standard that exist, I am grateful mainstream fiction authors acknowledge that truth.

In addition to the deep divide in Arthur and Ben’s social and romantic aspiration, there was also another issue. Ben’s ex-boyfriend Hudson was attending summer school with him. This created an ongoing conflict throughout the novel as Ben hid this fact from Arthur fearing his reaction. However, like most romance fiction conflicts, the secret kept by one main character would get revealed and become a point of divergence for Ben and Arthur. However, a trope of Romance fiction about the irresistible reconciliation allowed them to come back together. I know the author broke realism to allow the relationship room for growth due to this and it probably hurt the narrative toward the end.

In the end, there was no fairy tale ending with Happily Ever After, Ben and Arthur did not attend the same college, but stayed friends through social media and correspondence. They both harbor love for one another still and want something more, but they had moved on with their lives and, if the summary of the sequel novel is to believed, new lovers introduced in the epilogue of the book. As a gay adult, I know that if this were to continue on a realistic turn, Ben and Arthur would never rekindle their relationship or love, but as a gay reader, author, and romance enthusiast, I want them to succeed. Gay romance is so hard to maintain in our modern world, reading about a semi-realistic couple who continue loving one another and rekindling their love would provide hope.

I think the famous filmmaker Jean Cocteau description of dreams may succintly explain why I like this story about gay romance with its realistic and unrealistic qualities best:

“One of the characteristics of the dream is that nothing surprises us in it. With no regret, we agree to live in it with strangers, completely cut off from our habits and friends.”

― Jean Cocteau

That is where I am in relation to What if it's Us, I want to live in this dream of love even if it's far removed from the truths and experience I share with it.

There is a sequel novel that will be published this year in December 2021, Here's to Us, I hope Ben and Arthur do find a way to reconnect. I don't want them to separate, but I also don't want either to be cheating on their current lovers, unless both acknowledge that they truly do belong with each other. Personally, I hate story-lines where destined/fated lovers split up, it's the worst kind of slap in the face for readers or viewers. I remember watching TV Land re-runs of Wonder Years during a marathon session in the late 90's for Nick at Night, I binged the entire shows run due to the marathon (This was an era before Netflix and during the Summer, no one understood why I wasted my summer watching this show, but part of me just felt an attachment towards it). Despite the fated love story of Kevin and Winnie, their separation shattered my preteen expectations on what love should be.