The World Out There - 14. Fourteen

The next witness Mrs Stewart-Graham called was Duncan Loughton. The man slowly walked into the courtroom, his awkward gate on his crutches slowing him down. His right crutch moved forward, then his left crutch moved forward, and this was followed by his legs almost swinging after them. It seemed to take him an age to reach the witness box. He was dressed in a dark grey suit with a white shirt under it, though he didn’t wear a tie. Even struggling to reach the witness box, with a determined expression on his face, he still looked incredibly handsome. Liam glanced down at his feet again - he shouldn’t be having thoughts like this here. It was bad enough he couldn’t stop looking at Mr Spencer, and now he was staring at Duncan Loughton in the same way.

As soon as Duncan Loughton finally took his place in the witness box, Mr Spencer almost jumped to his feet.

“A point of law your honour,” he called out.

“Remove the jury!” the judge’s voice boomed out.

Again the jury were led out of the courtroom. Many of them cast annoyed or resentful expressions towards the two barristers, as if they were almost angry at being forced out of the courtroom again. What did they think happened when they weren’t there? Liam would have worried about that, worried that he was missing something important. But he wasn’t told to leave the courtroom, though he barely understood what was said when this happened.

When the jury were all finally out of there, the judge turned to the prosecution barrister, saying, “Yes, Mr Spencer?”

“Your honour this witness has written a report about the defendant in which he talks at length about the defendant being bullied at school, naming his alleged bullies and using it as an excuse for the defendant’s behaviour. Again, Mrs Stewart-Graham is trying to get this defence strategy in via the back door”, Mr Spencer said, his handsome face set in a hard expression as he stared at the judge.

“No I am not!” Mrs Stewart-Graham protested. “Mr Loughton is an experienced and renowned adolescent psychologist. I asked him to prepare an accurate assessment of my client to counter-balance Dr Harvey’s report.”

“Your Honour, we don’t need Mr Loughton’s report, we already have Dr Harvey’s report,” Mr Spencer replied.

“The same Dr Harvey who is known as the prosecution’s best friend?” Mrs Stewart-Graham said.

“Mrs Stewart-Graham, watch what you say in my courtroom,” the judge told her.

“But the defence is entitled to present our own evidence and Mr Loughton’s report is part of that. And his integrity has not been questioned in court the way Dr Harvey’s has previously been,” Mrs Stewart-Graham replied, staring back at the judge.

“And Mr Loughton’s report is full of accusations that the victim bullied the defendant, which you yourself ruled the defence could not use,” Mr Spencer said.

“Mr Spencer, you are correct,” the judge said. “For fairness, I will allow Mr Loughton to give evidence but not to make any allegations that the victim bullied the defendant. Do you understand me, Mr Loughton?” The judge turned his attention to Duncan Loughton.

“Yes, your honour,” Duncan Loughton answered him.

“If you don’t, I will be very displeased at you,” the judge stared at Duncan Loughton for a long moment, before calling out, “Bring back the jury”

Once the jury were finally settled back into their seats the trial began again.

Mrs Stewart-Graham’s questions of Duncan Loughton seemed even more careful and precise than they had been of the other witnesses. She seemed to be choosing her words very carefully.

Duncan Loughton told the court that Liam was withdrawn and isolated, but that was due to his home and school life. At school he was bullied, though Duncan Loughton didn’t say by whom, and he had been deeply afraid and didn’t know where to turn for help. His home life had been very insecure, and his mother was more interested in her own social life than her child’s well-being.

Duncan Loughton then described how Liam had taken the knife to school as protection only - that Liam had not realised the consequences of using the knife: he’d not known how dangerous it potentially was. In Duncan Loughton’s opinion, Liam did not have the emotional maturity to know how dangerous his actions could be.

Liam again stared down at his feet as Duncan Loughton spoke. He had taken that knife to school, and he had stabbed Rhys Clarke with it. It had felt good, for that moment, to have power over Rhys Clarke and now he had to pay for that moment. Duncan Loughton’s words might have sounded good, but he had killed Rhys Clarke - only he had done that.

When it came Mr Spencer’s turn to cross-examine Duncan Loughton, his first question had been blunt.

“How many times did you met with the defendant?”

“Twice,” Duncan Loughton replied.

“So why should we take your report over Dr Harvey’s report? Especially when she met with the defendant eight, separate times.”

“Because Liam actually spoke with me. He only answered Dr Harvey’s questions with a shake or a nod of his head. I also spoke with Liam’s mother and two of his teachers. Dr Harvey certainly didn’t do that.”

“Three of the defendant’s teachers have given evidence to this court and two of them were for the prosecution,” Mr Spencer replied.

“But talking with Liam gave me a unique insight into what happened,” Duncan Loughton said.

“Dr Harvey met the defendant four times the amount you did, and she is a doctor while you are merely a psychologist. I have no more questions for you,” Mr Spencer said sitting back down again.

After this Mrs Stewart-Graham announced that the defence “rested”, in the same way Mr Spencer had announced that he’d “rested” after he’d questioned his last witness. When Mr Spencer had announced this, Liam had felt a sinking feeling pulling down at his stomach. They had painted him as a cold and calculating killer who took that knife to school just to kill Rhys Clarke. Now he felt worse. Mrs Stewart-Graham had not given the court any other reason for him to have had that knife. She hadn’t explained the fear and hopelessness that had driven him to that act. She hadn’t been able to show the other side of him to this court. He’d put all his hope onto her, and she hadn’t come through: she hadn’t shown people who he really was. He was going to prison - that was it. He was terrified of the idea, but he couldn’t escape that now. They would kill him in prison, he knew. He felt a hot and sharp tear in the corner of his eye and quickly tried to blink it away. They couldn’t see him cry, they couldn’t. No one could see him cry.

“We will resume with closing arguments tomorrow,” the judge announced before he left the courtroom.

Liam was led out of the courtroom by that narrow staircase just for him, and down to wait in one of the white tiled cells in the Crown Court’s basement. He waited there an age for the prison van to take him back to Rokeby House. As he sat there, staring at the tiles covering the walls, he only had his own thoughts for company. He couldn’t stop thinking about prison, the nightmare image he had of it from television. All he knew was that he’d never survive there. It would kill him. School had been hard enough, but prison was a viscous jungle compared to school. He swallowed down, trying to push the fear down and control it, but it wouldn’t go. What was going to happened to me? Why had he taken that stupid knife to school? Why hadn’t he just let Rhys Clarke kill him the way Rhys Clarke had wanted to? Why hadn’t he just run away?

He was staring at a line of dark grey grouting, running between the white tiles. Why hadn’t his father come to his trial? Why hadn’t his dad tried to make contact with him again? He hadn’t thought about his father in so long. The man had left his mother when Liam was very little. He didn’t even remember what the man looked like. Liam was still his son - why hadn’t the man tried to contact him? Or was the man ashamed of him? His mother was ashamed of him - she’d made that plainly clear, -and she hadn’t come to the courtroom once during his trial. Did his father feel the same? Was his father unable to come to his trial? Was his father in prison already? Was his father a criminal, the same way as he was turning into one? It was all so difficult.

Liam lay down on the bench there, laying down on his side and pulling his body into the foetal position. He wanted to be a million miles away; he wanted this all to stop; he wanted to be dead. He screwed up his eyes to stop himself from crying - he couldn’t cry, he couldn’t.

Then there was a loud knocking on the cell’s metal door before it quickly swung open. He looked up and saw a prison guard standing there. They’d come to take him back to Rokeby House.