The World Out There - 35. Thirty-Five

Liam was sat in the Education Centre that Tuesday morning. His concentration levels were slowly returning: he could actually concentrate now to read one of his books. He hadn’t slept well the night before. Again, he dreamed about killing Rhys Clarke. Mid-Sunday morning, Sarah, the nurse, had stopped sitting with him, but regularly a nurse would appear and ask him how he was. It was nice that no one was sitting next to him, but he wasn’t all right - though he didn’t tell the nurses that. Each night he still dreamt about killing Rhys Clarke. Those dreams were so vivid and alive, as if he had stepped right back into the moment: he could see and feel everything. But those memories didn’t just stay in his dreams. During the day, usually when he wasn’t expecting it, that memory would flash into his mind, like a television program suddenly playing there, all bright colours and noise, and the red, red blood. He wanted to run away from them, to hide from those terrible memories, but he couldn’t. How could he when they were playing in his own mind.

He was also back on his own, and that was so quiet. No longer could he hide away within Chrissy and TJ’s lively conversation, their words all around him. TJ was now at home. Chrissy hadn’t come back to the ward. He’d heard other kids on the ward say she had been taken away to another hospital, but no one knew what hospital or what was happening to her or even if she was alive. He couldn’t ask any of the nurses - how could he? Would they even have told him? He just kept quiet, retreating into silence. It wasn’t the right thing to do, but he didn’t know how not to do so.

He wondered around the ward all day Sunday carrying his book, but he didn’t read a word from it. He could barely concentrate on the things he needed to do. He had no concentration left to read.

Monday, he found concentrating on his schoolwork difficult. After only a handful of minutes he was getting so tired. His mind and body felt as though it was draining away with great fatigue. Mrs Williams sent him back to the ward in the afternoon, saying he wasn’t well enough to stay in the Education Centre. However, returning to the ward was such a failure: he wasn’t physically ill - he should be able to do at least his schoolwork. Still, he fell asleep almost as soon as he sat down on his bed. It wasn’t a relaxing sleep. Gary had woken him for his evening meal, but he was just as groggy and tired as when he'd returned to his room.

He ate his breakfast on his own again that Tuesday morning. Again, he told himself he was getting used to it, but he wasn’t. It was too quiet as he was sat there with his own thoughts and no distraction while chewing his breakfast. He wanted someone else’s conversation to distract him. It was so silent.

That morning, Mrs Williams gave him maths problems to solve. He was so grateful that she had. He didn’t need to use any imagination or analytical skills - the skills he used when writing essays. He just had to follow the equations. He could let his mind be filled by the logical problems of the equations.

“Liam,” Aiden’s voice pushed into his thoughts and made him start. He looked up and saw Aiden standing next to his table. He hadn’t heard Aiden approach he was so wrapped up in his math problems?

A serious expression pulled down at Aiden’s face. He drew out the chair, next to Liam, and sat down on it.

“Is… Is everything okay?” Liam asked. Why was Aiden here?

“There’s two people here from The Trust and they want to speak to you.”

“Why?”

“They want to ask you questions about Chrissy.”

“What? Why?” Something cold gripped at his stomach. What was happening?

“They are carrying out an investigation into what happened with Chrissy. They questioned all the nurses involved with what happened all day yesterday. Now they want to question you.”

“Why me?”

“Liam, she harmed herself in front of you.”

“But I don’t know nothing more than that.” His stomach was cold and heavy now.

“Yes, but this is an official investigation. Everyone involved has to speak to them.”

“What will they ask me?”

“I don’t know but, I will be there with you.”

“You will?”

“Of course. It wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t.”

“Thanks.”

“But we have to go now. They want to speak to you now.”

“Oh, right… Does Mrs Williams know?”

“I’ve told her,” Aiden replied.

Liam followed Aiden out of the Education Centre.

It was the usual slow progress of Aiden unlocking, and then relocking, all the doors they had to pass through as they headed towards the front of the hospital. He knew exactly what had happened with Chrissy. How could he forget? It was still replaying in his mind like a random TV program whether he wanted it to or not. But what did these people want to question him about? He couldn’t answer that, but the question kept circling around in his mind during that slow walk.

They stopped outside one of the Interview Rooms at the front of the hospital. Aiden knocked loudly on the room’s door and, not waiting for any reply from inside, he opened the door and walked into the room. Liam followed behind him.

Inside the room, Liam found in the middle of it one of the round tables that populated many of the rooms there. Sat on the opposite side of it were two people - a middle-aged man and woman, but their age was all they seemed to have in common.

The man was tall and broad, his bald, round head on top of a round and wide body. His face had red cheeks and nose with the redness spreading out from his red and bulbus nose. His round, fat body was pressing up hard against the dark brown suit he was wearing. His white shirt and dark blue tie were pushed up tightly into his neck, causing a fold of flesh to fall out over his shirt’s collar.

The woman was small and pale, her body dwarfed by the man sitting next to her. Her round head was almost perched on top of her small body. Her smooth, though dull, brown hair was pulled back from her face in a very tight ponytail that seemed almost painfully tight. Her face was dominated by large brown-framed glasses, She had very bright red lips, the only make-up she seemed to be wearing. Her dark blue jacket, worn over an equally dark green collarless blouse, seemed two sizes too large for her, emphasising her small body.

On the table in front of the man were several pieces of paper haphazardly dropped there, while in front of the woman was an open, leather folder with an empty pad of paper in it.

The man looked up from the papers in front of him and said, “You can go now, nurse.”

“No, I’m staying,” Aiden replied.

“We don’t need you to stay. We can ask questions of Liam on our own. I’ve told your manager, Miss Hayes, this already,” the man said.

“And Janet told me to stay, and I agree with her,” Aiden said.

“This is completely unnecessary. You nurses are being too defensive,” the man replied.

“And Liam is under eighteen. Therefore, I am staying to look out for his interests,” Aiden flatly said.

“This is not a police interview!” the man snapped.

“He does have a point, Mr Roud,” the woman added.

“Okay, okay,” the man said. “We need to get this finished.”

“Let’s sit down,” Aiden said to Liam, giving him a reassuring little smile.

He sat down next to Aiden on one of the empty chairs, carefully pushing his chair partly under the table.

“Right. Liam, I need to ask you questions about last Saturday,” the man said.

“Aren’t you going to introduce yourselves? You know all about Liam and he doesn’t even know your names,” Aiden said.

“For God sakes, you nurses!” the man snapped again.

“He also has a point,” the woman said.

“And it’s Trust policy,” Aiden added.

“I’m Miss Esther Graham,” the woman said. “I’m the Deputy Head of Security for the Trust. This is Mr. Robert Roud who’s the Head of Security.”

“Now we have the niceties over with, I have some questions for you, young man,” Robert Roud said. The man’s tone was anything but welcoming. Liam pushed himself back into his chair as far as it would go. Why was he in trouble?

“Yes,” Liam mumbled.

“You were with Chrissy Ledsom on Saturday morning,” Robert Roud said, with no change in the tone of his voice.

“Chrissy came to see me,” Liam said.

“What?” Robert Roud said.

“I was sitting on the bench out in the garden, and Chrissy came up to me,” Liam explained.

“Yes, yes,” Robert Roud said. “And she had a knife in her hand.”

“I didn’t see what was in her hand. She had her hand closed.”

“So, you didn’t look at what she was holding?” Robert Roud said.

“She had her hands closed,” Liam replied. It was the truth, but he’d been more concerned by the hurt and angry expression on Chrissy’s face.

“And you didn’t see the knife she was holding?” Robert Roud repeated himself.

“He’s already answered your question,” Aiden said, his voice level and flat.

“I don’t need your interruptions!” Robert Roud snapped at Aiden.

“But Liam needs me,” Aiden replied, staring back at Robert Roud.

“We have got more questions,” Esther Graham said.

“Yes, yes,” Robert Roud replied. “Now, did Chrissy Ledsom tell you why she was doing what she was doing?”

“Doing what?” Liam asked. The question didn’t make sense.

“Cut her wrist!” Robert Roud snapped back.

Liam glanced down at the table for a moment. He mustn’t remember it, he mustn’t remember it, he mustn’t see the blood.

“Did she tell you?” Robert Roud’s voice almost barked at him.

He looked up and back at Robert Roud’s red, round face. He took a quick, deep breath of air.

“She said she was really upset because TJ was going home,” he told Robert Roud.

“TJ?” the man asked him.

“Thomas John Gumede,” Esther Graham said, glancing at Robert Roud as she did.

“Oh, him,” Robert Roud said.

“Chrissy and TJ were close friends,” Aiden added.

“And she harmed herself over a friendship?” Robert Roud’s voice was full of obvious disbelief. It was if the man thought they were lying to him. Liam recognised it - he’d heard it before, too many times.

“Chrissy said she’s in love with TJ, but he wasn’t with her,” Liam quietly said.

“And you lot didn’t know this?” Robert Roud almost barked.

“Of course we did,” Aiden replied. “We all saw that Chrissy had a crush on TJ but he only saw her as a friend.”

“And you did nothing about it?” Robert Roud again barked, the redness on his face darkening.

“Chrissy is fifteen. Fifteen-year-olds have unrequited crushes on other people. It’s a normal part of growing up,” Aiden replied, his voice very level and flat.

“Well, yes, I suppose so,” Robert Roud muttered.

“The blade?” Esther Graham quietly said, this time looking at the pad of paper in front of her, her tiny handwriting barely filling a few lines of it.

“Yes,” Robert Roud said. “Now, where did Chrissy Ledsom get that knife?” Robert Roud’s attention turned fully onto Liam.

“I don’t know,” Liam said. Had Chrissy had a knife? She’d had something metal in her hand, had that been a knife?

“When did you give her that knife?” Robert Roud said.

“I didn’t” he protested.

“Wait a moment!” Aiden snapped.

“Nurse, I’m conducting this interview and I’ve got more questions to ask. Now kindly be quiet,” Robert Roud said, though there was an obvious heavy tone of anger to his voice. “Now Liam, you gave her that knife.”

“No, I didn’t,” he replied. Robert Roud’s hard and almost angry stare was fully on him. Liam looked away, glancing down at the table in front of him. He wanted this all to be over.

“I have it on good authority that you did. People have told me you did,” Robert Roud said.

“I didn’t,” he protested.

“She had to get it from somewhere and that was you,” Robert Roud’s voice accused him.

“I didn’t,” he said, still staring down at the table in front of him.

“Look at me!” Robert Roud shouted, his fist banging on the table, shaking it for a moment.

“Don’t shout like that!” Aiden’s voice snapped back.

“Nurse, be quiet!” Robert Roud’s voice shouted in reply.

“No, I won’t,” Aiden said.

“You will or I’ll throw you out of here,” Robert Roud angrily said. “Now Liam, look at me. Only the guilty don’t make eye contact.”

Slowly Liam raised up his head and looked at Robert Roud’s face. There was anger written across it. The anger was directed at him. Was this his fault?

“When did you give her the knife?” Robert Roud barked.

“I didn’t, I didn’t,” he protested. Tears stung at his eyes and he hurriedly blinked them away.

“Don’t lie to me!” Robert Roud’s voice shouted at him. “Everyone has told me that you gave her the knife, so stop lying to me!”

“He isn’t lying but you are,” Aiden’s voice cut into Robert Roud’s anger.

“Nurse! I told you to shut up! I am conducting this interview!” Robert Roud’s fist angerly banged the table.

“No, you’re bullying Liam with lies. No one knows where Chrissy got that blade from. We’ve been asking that for the last two days and no one knows,” Aiden shot back at the man.

“I told you to be quiet. Now get out of here, this is my interview!”

“Come on Liam, we’re leaving,” Aiden said, as he stood up from the table.

“This is my investigation!” Robert Roud shouted. His voice roared around the room.

“You don’t treat anyone like this. This isn’t some kangaroo court,” Aiden barked back. “Come on Liam.”

He looked up into Aiden’s face and saw concern creasing it up.

He gave Aiden a nod and stood up.

“Don’t you leave! You leave when I say so!” Robert Roud barked and again his fist banged down on the table.

“No you don’t,” Aiden replied as he held open the room’s door for Liam.

Liam hurried through the open door. It was his way out of there and he had to leave.

“I’ll have your job for this nurse,” Robert Roud’s voice roared behind him, but Liam didn’t look back, escaping out into the corridor. “Nurse! Nurse! What’s your name?”

“You’re Head of Security. You find it out,” Aiden called out, as he slammed the room’s door closed.

“Come on,” Aiden said, “We’d better not hang around here.”

Willingly, Liam hurried down the corridor with Aiden.

Though they were both walking quickly, it still seemed to take an age to reach the safety of the ward, far too many doors for Aiden to open and close. Each time they had to stop, as Aiden opened another door, his anxiety pounded in his head. What had he done? Why was that man going after him? He hadn’t given Chrissy any knife or anything like that. Who said that he did? What had he done wrong?

It was with relief when Aiden finally unlocked the main door to the ward and Liam could walk through it. As he stood safely inside the ward, waiting for Aiden to relock the main door, he heard lite footsteps behind him. He turned around and saw Janet walking slowly towards them.

“Aiden, what have you done?” Janet asked.

“What?” Aiden replied.

“I’ve just had Robert Roud on the ward phone, shouting about you. A really unpleasant man too. I didn’t want that man shouting like that, not after everything,” Janet said.

“That old fossil accused Liam of giving Chrissy the knife she used. He was shouting at Liam and… I took both of us out of there. Clinically, it was not the right place for Liam to be,” Aiden replied.

“For God’s sake! That man is too much…” Janet actually rolled her eyes in an exacerbated manner. “Liam, how do you feel?”

“I’m… It wasn’t nice,” Liam mumbled.

“Whatever that man said, I know you didn’t give Chrissy a knife,” Janet said.

“Thanks,” he mumbled.

“No one on the ward thinks that. But that man, Robert Roud, has upset a lot of people here,” Janet said.

“Thanks,” he mumbled again. He couldn’t say anymore, not in the middle of the ward corridor.

“I’ll take Liam back to the Education Centre,” Aiden said.

“No, Cindi can do that. I need to talk with you,” Janet said to Aiden. She quickly added to Liam, “Don’t worry Liam, you’ve done nothing wrong.”

“Thanks,” Liam said.