Man In Motion - 12. A Pregnancy

June 29, 1985

Malibu, CA

The limo pulled up in front of Stef’s house in Malibu, depositing us in front of what looked like a typical house in The Colony. We walked through the door to find the true spectacular nature of this place highlighted by the floor-to-ceiling windows that made the beach seem like it was part of the house. “Welcome!” Stef said, and gave us big hugs. “We do not have much time before we leave, so no surfing for you today.”

“That's OK, Stef. Surfing's tomorrow. Lark and Max are coming over bright and early.” I saw Robbie flinch at the mention of Max. Oh well, I thought, he was reaping what he’d sowed.

“Well that's wonderful. I love it when you come down here and bring a bunch of cute boys with you.” I laughed.

We headed up to the bedroom and got ready for the big screening tonight. “What are we going to see?” Robbie asked

“Back to the Future, with Michael J. Fox,” I told him.

“He's that guy from Family Ties, right?”

“Yep.”

“He's not even that cute,” Robbie observed.

“You're not there to fuck him; you're there to watch his movie.” We took a shower together. Our showers weren't nearly as fun as they used to be before he fucked Neil without a condom. I pushed aside my bitterness over that by remembering that he more than made up for it in the bedroom. A screening like this was a black tie event, so we had to take some extra time to get ready. We went downstairs and found Greg and Stef waiting.

“You two look fantastic,” Stef said, admiring us. He made Greg wait while he took a picture of us, which was pretty daring since Greg was already in a bad mood.

We headed out to the limo and then we were off to see the movie, but Greg didn’t seem any happier. “Were you involved in this one?” I asked Greg.

“Yeah, I'm in up to my ass in this one, so let's hope it's good,” he said. I should have known he had invested in it from the tension in the car. When he was uptight, it was like a cloud that hung over everyone.

“If you're involved, I'm sure it is.” He gave me a weak grin, acknowledging my feeble attempt at praise. He didn't have to worry. It was really cool. I laughed at the Delorean. It looked just like Ace's car, but then again, Deloreans pretty much looked alike. We politely chatted with everyone until we were able to escape back to our limo.

“That was a great movie, Greg,” Robbie said effusively. The mood was distinctly different after the screening.

“It was,” I agreed. Stefan smiled up at Greg devotedly.

“Even the critics seem happy. Hell, I may make enough money off of this one to buy a bigger boat,” he said.

“You do not need a bigger boat. If you get a bigger boat, people will think you are compensating for having a small penis,” Stef said, cracking us up. We went to dinner, then a few parties. I avoided all of the rooms but the public ones now. I'd gotten high in the limo with Robbie and Stef, and I didn't need anything else. I also didn’t want to subject myself to temptation. None of us wanted anything to do with that subculture.

It was really late when we got back to the house, and Robbie and I had to all but drag ourselves up to our bedroom. Robbie seemed sad.

“What's the matter?” I asked. “You didn't enjoy the movie?”

“The movie was great. I'm just bummed that we can't do, you know...”

I smiled, trying to be supportive. “If David says we can't, we can't. I think he made some good points too, don't you?”

“Yeah,” he said unconvincingly.

“You know, I want to tell you something, but I don't want you to think that I'm selfish,” I said, massaging his dick through his pants.

“You're not selfish.”

“Well, I kind of am, at least about this.” I had his zipper down and took his dick out, stroking it lightly. He moaned lightly. “I'm kind of glad we're not doing it.”

“It grosses you out,” he said sadly, and pulled away from me and started undressing. I followed suit.

“No, that's not it at all. You know, since we stopped doing that your ass has gotten a lot tighter.”

He grinned at me. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Feels so good when I'm fucking you,” I said. We were both naked now, so I rubbed up against him. “Your hole just squeezes me so tight and drives me nuts.”

“Want me to show you?” he asked, heading to the bed and pushing me down. He put a condom on my dick, lubed me up, and sat on my dick.

“Oh God, you feel so tight, baby. Oh yeah. I'm sorry, that's so selfish of me, but you make me feel so good.” He was tighter, but not as tight as he used to be. I was hoping he'd recover.

He lay on top of me, keeping my dick in his ass, and he pinned me down and fucked me, taking complete control. It was unbelievable. He nibbled and nuzzled my neck, talked to me; although I was so fired up I didn't even hear what he said. He worked us perfectly; I just lay there and let him work our bodies. And when he made us cum, together, I felt the earth move. This time, afterward, he lay on my chest.

“You liked that?” he asked.

“Yeah, I liked that. I fucking loved that. You were pretty dominant.”

“I was.” He seemed to get a little better every day, recovering from that asshole Neil.

June 30, 1985

Malibu, CA

I got up early, extracting myself from Robbie's grip. He was so cute. He had totally wrapped himself around me, with his morning hard-on lodged between my ass cheeks. I was tempted to wake him up and take care of our mutual problem, but I wanted to get ready before Max and Lark got there.

I was in the kitchen eating when the doorbell rang. I opened it with no small amount of trepidation. “Hey guys,” I said, inviting them in.

Lark gave me a hug. “Hey B! Glad to see you made it back safe and sound.”

Then I saw Max. He smiled weakly, and gave me a big hug too. Only with him it was much more intense. I felt him surrender to my grasp, and when he pulled away, he gave me a gentle kiss on the lips. Lark scowled briefly. “So what have you guys been up to?”

“Hanging out. Surfing,” Lark said.

“Together?” I asked, teasing them.

“Most of the time,” Max said, blushing. Lark frowned. He just couldn't handle admitting that he liked to play around with guys. “What about you? You and Robbie doing alright?”

“Yeah, Max, we're doing really great. Thanks for asking.” I knew this was painful for him. We all but inhaled breakfast then headed out to the beach. The waves were OK, but they got bigger as the morning advanced.

Being out in the surf re-bonded us and took away the tensions. It was our common ground, and it worked perfectly. We took a break and headed in for lunch.

“I hope the waves pick up after lunch,” Lark said. “They were pretty lame.”

“No shit,” I said. Stef's housekeeper had made us a massive spread for lunch. Stef was always convinced that we'd starve to death. We ate on the deck, enjoying the ocean even as we had lunch.

“You caught the only good wave this morning, B,” Lark said.

“I was lucky. Things look like they're picking up. It should be a good afternoon.” Robbie came out, looking like he’d just woken up.

“Hey,” he said to Lark and Max, and gave me a kiss. It was loving, to a degree, but it was mostly possessive. He was telling them that I was his. “You guys going back out?”

“Fuckin' A,” Lark said. “Waves this morning sucked.”

“Maybe I'll join you,” Robbie said. I stared at him, stunned. He kind of liked surfing, but he wasn't very good. It would be like an amateur golfer playing in the Pros. But I appreciated that he was trying to fit in with my friends, and trying to enjoy something that was such a passion for me.

We ended up having a blast. Robbie was definitely not a good surfer, but he was so goofy and so good-natured he had us cracking up the whole time. And he really won Lark over with the way that he picked up on Lark’s little skills, the nuances which made for an awesome run, and pointed them out.

We headed up to the house around 5:30, pretty exhausted. “I'm going to take a shower,” Robbie said.

“That sounds good. Mind if I wash up, B?” Lark asked.

“Fuck no. You know where the bathroom is.” The two of them headed indoors to clean up and change, leaving Max and me alone to talk.

“You doing OK?” I asked him.

“I still miss you. I guess I shouldn't say that. That probably just makes you feel like shit.”

I smiled. “No, Max, it's really flattering. I miss you too. It was really hard to leave you, you know that, don't you?” He nodded. “Are you and Lark together?”

“I think we're as together as two guys can be, when one of them won't even admit that he's at least bisexual,” he said bitterly. “I love our time together, but I'm just a toy to him.” I really couldn't argue with that.

“Well, at least you know where you stand with him,” I said, making a stupid joke. He laughed to humor me.

We went out to dinner and had a bunch of drinks, and then the limo took everyone back to Stef's house. I talked Max and Lark into spending the night, which gave us the opportunity to surf again the next day. I couldn't help staring at Max's ass from time to time, remembering how tight and willing it was, but I was happy with Robbie.

July 3, 1985

Claremont, OH

There were only two reasons I was on the fucking plane back to Claremont for the fucking Fourth of July festival, Claremont's big party. The first was that Tonto begged me to go, and I could deny her nothing. The second was to see Darius. I talked to Grandmaman, and she had agreed that Darius could come out to California with us for a week as long as Jeanine came along too. That was fine with me. Jeanine seemed like a nice girl.

Robbie sat next to me, just as pissed off, glaring at his father. He wanted to avoid Claremont even more than I did. Frank just glared back at him. JP just sat there, smiling. Since he’d found out he was positive, he'd been remarkably calm and happy. It was almost as if he'd found nirvana. It was very strange.

“We should be landing shortly,” Stefan said, hanging up the phone that linked into the cockpit. I snickered at that term, especially considering that all of Stef's pilots looked like male models.

“Can't we just circle for a couple of hours and watch the fireworks from here?” Robbie asked, getting a glare from both Frank and Tonto. No one said anything for the rest of the flight.

There were cars there to meet us, and they whisked us off to the monstrosity that used to be Tonto's house. It was a museum now, but her family was allowed to use it for the Fourth of July festival. Tonto and Stef were staying there, while the rest of us headed up to Grandmaman's house. We could have stayed at the monstrosity too, but I wanted to hang out with Jeanine and Darius. I figured that if they got to know us better, they'd feel more comfortable going to California with us.

“You seem so happy lately,” I said to JP.

“I feel liberated. It's really bizarre. Somehow, knowing that I'm going to die has freed me from responsibility, from burdens. I can just live for today.” He had this wistful look on his face.

“I think it's cool. You're more open than I've ever known. All those years I spent figuring out what your facial expressions meant, and now they're useless.” Frank and Robbie snickered.

“That and he always looks stoned,” Robbie said.

“He usually is,” Frank added, piling on. We all laughed, even JP.

I threw a new jab in. “See and I always thought all this bliss was from having a young boyfriend.” JP rolled his eyes. “You know, Mouse told me that he's been with all kinds of guys, but he's never been so satisfied as he is with you.”

JP blushed. “Are you trying to ruin my good mood?” he asked pointedly. I could tell he was enjoying Mouse as much as Mouse enjoyed him. I stopped teasing him for the rest of the drive.

Grandmaman was there to greet us, cool and sublime as ever. “How wonderful that you could all make it out for our festival!”

No sooner had she finished saying that then Darius came running right up to me. “Hi Uncle Brad!”

I smiled as I picked him up and hugged him. “Hello, Darius. Are you ready for the fireworks tomorrow night?”

“Loud,” he said, shaking his head. I laughed at that.

“Wanna go swimming?” I asked him. He got a big grin and ran off to find Jeanine.

Jeanine came out about half an hour later with Darius, both of them in bathing suits. Jeanine was really pretty. I hadn't fully realized that until I saw her without her nanny uniform on. I couldn't help but stare, and think about my one sexual experience with a woman, with Karen, back in high school. But there was something about Jeanine, so svelte, so sexy, that really attracted me. She saw my look and grinned, making me blush. Robbie just looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

“Fuck you,” I said to him playfully.

Robbie, Jeanine, and I spent the whole day with Darius playing in the pool. At nap time, Jeanine got up to go put him down. “Hey Jeanine, come hang out with us when you're done,” I said. “That is, if you want to?”

She laughed, a glorious laugh. “I'll be back in a minute.”

“You hitting on the nanny?” Robbie teased. “I'm jealous. Am I gonna have to fight a woman for you now?”

I laughed. “You keep working on tightening up your ass, sweet cheeks,” I teased, “and you won't have anything to worry about.” He dunked me. Jeanine came back and jumped back in the pool. “So you're OK with spending some time in California?” I asked.

She grinned at me. “I was raised near the water. I have been dying to go, ever since Marie asked me.”

“Where are you from?” Robbie asked.

“New Jersey. The Jersey Shore.” It was hard for me to think about New Jersey without thinking about Princeton and Neil. Looking at Robbie, it seemed that he felt the same way, only I was happy to see him cringe at the memory.

“So what brought you to Claremont? Not exactly the cultural mainstream,” I joked.

“I came here to take care of Darius.” I stared at her, surprised. She rolled her eyes. “I love children. I've been taking care of them for six years, since I was 16. Marie did a nationwide search and found me.”

“She was lucky that she did,” I said, getting a big smile from Jeanine. “Darius clearly adores you.”

She laughed. “The feeling is mutual. He is such a joy to be around. So bright, so full of life, so cheerful. It is only the people in this town that I do not like.”

“Join the club,” Robbie said.

“Bitty has told me all about the two of you, although her descriptions became much nicer after your last visit.” I laughed at that.

“Where is she?” I asked.

Jeanine got sad. “The festival is a big party. I doubt we will see her for a while.” I nodded sadly.

“Well, we're going to have a great time in California, except you'll have to hang out with Robbie too.” He splashed me; I splashed back, while Jeanine just laughed.

“You two are cute,” she said. “I mean together.”

“It doesn't bother you that we're gay?” I asked, concerned.

“No. Besides, men aren't the only ones who can be gay.” I laughed for a second and then stared at her. She tilted her head, watching me digest that.

“You're a lesbian?” I asked.

“You make it sound like a disease.”

“I'm sorry,” I apologized. “I guess I haven't been around a lot of lesbians. That's cool. That's really cool.” I couldn't stop smiling. Wow. A whole new culture to learn about.

“I was wondering if you were really gay, the way you were checking me out earlier,” she teased. Robbie cracked up, so I got out of that unpleasant situation by splashing him some more.

July 4, 1985

Claremont, OH

We walked through the commons, heading for the Crampton tent. “When I was a kid, everyone walked around and just mingled with each other. There was free beer and free food,” JP said. “Then in the late '60s, things changed. It got ugly. There were the poor whites and blacks down here, and they pretty much turned it into a war zone.” I marveled at how the festival reflected society as a whole. Now, nothing was free. You could buy food and beer, expensive food and beer. But if you were lucky like we were, part of the select few who had a pass to get into one of the corporate tents, then food and drinks were free.

We passed through the guarded entry and into a much more genteel world. There were big fans to circulate that hot, muggy air, a full bar, and a massive buffet table. The people here were employees or guests of Crampton Construction. It was funny to see the rough and tumble construction workers try to act all classy in these surroundings.

We did our time there, about two hours, just enough to catch a good buzz from the bar, and then we decided to head home. Robbie and I wound our way back through the masses of people, sweaty and smelly people, heading to the point where the car would pick us up.

“Look who's here boys,” I heard, and turned to see a couple of guys that looked kind of like Robbie. They must be his cousins.

“Fuck off,” he said, and walked past them. Like that would get rid of them. They followed us.

“Is this your boyfriend?” I knew these guys, or at least their type. They'd hound us and hound us until it turned to bullying. I turned on them, eye to eye with the tallest one.

“You want to go back to jail again, asshole?” He got an evil grin.

“Yeah, maybe find someone like you there to be my bitch.”

“Not likely, scumbag. You go back again, you'll be the bitch.”

“Not likely,” he snarled.

“Likely. In fact, I'll make sure of it.” I was getting really pissed, feeling my temper flare. Ironically, Robbie and the other guy were both pretty calm. Just backing us up.

“You and what army?” he taunted.

“I don't need an army. I just need to write a check. So fuck off, asshole.” I stared at him, and he stared back. Then I turned, and we walked away. This was 1985, when money ruled supreme.

“Thanks, man. You make me feel like a pussy,” Robbie said, obviously feeling embarrassed.

“You're not a pussy. You've put up with a lot of shit from those douchebags. It's no big deal.”

“I feel bad, having you constantly having to save me. First from Neil and now from these guys.”

I smiled at him as we hopped into the limo. “What's all that shit about? We're a couple. You do stuff for me. I do stuff for you.” He smiled at me and gave me a kiss. I put up the privacy screen and unzipped my pants. “Now, if you want to thank me for helping out...” He laughed. And then gave me a great blow job.

July 5, 1985

Claremont, OH

It was indicative of how we all felt about being in Claremont that we left the very next morning. “That's the last time I come to one of these things,” Robbie announced in the car, glaring at his father. Frank said nothing.

“I'm with you, but I have to have that conversation with Tonto. You just have to tell your father, and he's a pushover,” I teased. Frank gave me a mock-dirty look.

“It certainly has changed. I can't say that I really enjoy it anymore either. But it was good to see my mother, along with Jim and his family,” JP said, trying to rationalize our being there.

We got to Stef's plane and found Stef waiting for us. Tonto was staying longer, spending some time with Grandmaman. Darius and Jeanine were with him. Darius ran up to me right away.

“Hey Darius, have you ever been on an airplane?” I asked.

“No.” he said, looking at the plane.

“Let me show it to you.” I carried him around and let him touch the wings and the engines, and showed him the wheels. Then we went inside. There was a little bed made up in the back. “That's so you can take a nap,” I said.

“I don't want to take a nap.” He was pretty definitive about that.

“Wanna see where they drive it?” I asked, and took him up to the cockpit. “Hey Eric,” I said, shaking his hand. He held my hand just a little too long, making me wish I had hit on him when I was single. “Can you show Darius how things work?”

Eric went over things in a very simple way, and Darius was thrilled. “Alright boys, we need to get home,” Stef said from the back.

“Now comes the fun part,” I told Darius. “Take off is the best.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You want to sit next to me?” He nodded.

The engines fired up and we started to move. Darius smiled.

“Do you like my plane, Darius?” Stefan asked.

“Uh huh,” he said. Then we reached the end of the taxiway.

“Now Darius, the engines are going to get noisy and really push us forward fast. This is the fun part.” The Falcon's engines kicked in and we rocketed down the runway. Darius smiled and yelled in glee. When we were airborne his eyes bulged.

“Look outside,” I told him. He watched the ground fall away, and watched everything get smaller. And then he started to cry. “Your ears hurt. Sneeze or swallow and that will end.” He was too busy crying to listen to me, but that did the trick anyway. Then he finally calmed down and got his happy personality back. He smiled at me and hopped down to go see Jeanine.

It was a nice flight, and despite his previous objections, Darius took a good nap. We stopped in Palo Alto to drop off JP and Frank, and then took off for Malibu. It was a long day.

July 6, 1985

Malibu, CA

“Eeeeee!” Darius screamed happily, running away from the wave as it chased him up the shore, then he'd chase it back into the sea. He just cracked me up. I'd been hanging out on the beach with him all morning, but the waves were picking up, and I got selfish.

“Darius, I'm going to go out and surf. Someday when you're older I'll teach you how.” He got a pissed off look on his face, which made me laugh. “If you watch me, I'll wave at you.”

I paddled out into the water, looking for a wave. It didn't have to be great, just good, just enough for me to get vertical so I could wave at Darius. But that's not what I got. What I got was a big fucking wave, an awesome wave. I put thoughts of him aside as I jockeyed for position, lining up in front of it. I got my forward motion going just perfectly, and then braced myself for the wave, for the massive wall of water forming just behind me. I felt it lift my board, and I slid sideways and was vertical in a flash. I skidded down the face, moving up and down against this wave of monstrous force, when I remembered to wave at Darius. I couldn't tell if he saw me or not, I was too focused. I followed the tube until it started to collapse, and then kicked my board up and flew up over the wave going completely airborne. I fell back into the water, thrashed by the wave I'd just ridden. The wave pulled me down, and I fought to get back to the surface, only to be pulled down again. I fought my way back to the top and, panting and waterlogged, found my board and headed to the shore. This was paradise.

“Did you see me wave at you, Darius?” I asked.

“Uh huh,” he said simply, grinning at me. Robbie looked up at me with a look of admiration in his eyes. He loved me, and he was proud of me.

July 13, 1985

Claremont, OH

“I just got away from this fucking place. I can't believe I'm back already,” Robbie groused as the Falcon started its descent into Claremont.

“We're only here for two days, and then we're off again. Quit bitching,” I teased him. Not that Darius was any happier. He’d had a blast in California. We'd spent time at the beach, but had taken a side trip to Disneyland. He'd really liked that. We’d had a brief stay at Escorial, and now we were bringing him back home to Claremont. I was going to miss him. We all were. He was such a great kid, a delight to be around.

I looked over at Mouse and smiled at him. He was glowing, literally glowing. He sat next to JP, practically in his lap, and leaned up to kiss him. JP blushed, looking a little uncomfortable, but very happy. I'm not sure exactly how I was expecting their relationship to be, but this was more than I ever dreamed. Two people, infected with that fucking disease, separated by decades, yet they'd found happiness with each other. It dawned on me that without their infection, it is unlikely they ever would have gotten together. Their ages would have kept them apart.

“So is the old man keeping you happy, Mouse?” Robbie teased.

“You have no idea. I have never been so fulfilled in my entire life,” said Mouse, and he let out a little chirp that sounded like a residual noise from an orgasm.

“Can we please not discuss my sex life?” JP said, irritated, which just made us all laugh. “I'm starting to wonder if I'll be able to put up with you guys in Paris.”

“Oh quit being grumpy. You're the only 49-year-old guy who would be embarrassed by your ability to make a 21-year-old have one constant orgasm,” I chided.

“He's right, you know. Just being near you is almost enough to make me cum,” Mouse said, snuggling up closer. JP just shook his head, but he was smiling.

The plane touched down and we were hustled into the limos, then we headed up to Grandmaman's house. Darius was cranky from all of his travels, but he was still fun to be around. We drove up to the gates at the top of the hill, gates that had been put there in the late '60s when revolution seemed imminent, gates which opened for us automatically.

We zipped up to the front door and Darius was the first out of the car, trailed anxiously by Jeanine. But she didn't need to worry. There was Grandmaman, holding her arms out for him to give him a hug. “Maman!” he said, running into her arms and almost knocking her over.

“Did you have a good time, Darius?” she asked.

“I saw Mickey Mouse. And Brad surfed!” He practically shouted, he was so excited.

“Well that sounds marvelous. It is good to have you home. We have missed you.” She turned to Jeanine. “I have missed you too. Did you enjoy yourself?”

“It was wonderful,” Jeanine said simply, and then took off after her charge. I gave Grandmaman a kiss and hug, and followed them in.

“Mommy!” I heard Darius say, and I found Bitty in the family room, looking pretty crappy. She brightened a little bit, and hugged Darius.

“Hey,” I said, hugging her. She was crying. “What's wrong?”

“I'm pregnant again.”

“Well isn't that good news? Darius is incredible. You make good babies.”

She smiled. “I conceived in May. I've done, well, I've been partying a lot. I'm so worried, Brad. What if the baby is damaged?”

That totally blew my happy party. If she was still smoking crack, that would be dangerous for her baby. “You are going to keep it?” I asked.

She cried even harder. “I look at Darius and I don't think I could kill my child.”

“What do the doctors say?” I asked.

“They have no idea if I've hurt the baby, but so far he seems fine. Or she. They don't know yet. And there are two other problems.” I just waited for her to go on. “If I have it, I'll have to be straight for seven more months. I don't know if I can do that, Brad. I don't know if I can.”

“Bitty, if you can't stay off drugs, you have to get an abortion,” I said firmly. She looked at me, but I could tell she hadn't gotten that through her muddled brain. “That's your decision to make, but it has to be one or the other. What's the other thing?”

“It's Darius's father. I..” then she broke down into tears. “I can't tell you who he is. I want to, but I can't.”

“Why can't you?” I asked.

“I just can't. Not now. Maybe someday if I have the baby. But right now, I just can't do it.”