Man In Motion - 1. The Super Bowl

January 18, 1985

New Haven, CT

The plane lifted off from New Haven's airport, leaving behind the cold Connecticut winter and whisking me off to the warmer climes of California, or at least it would after a stop in Princeton. It was that stop in Princeton that had me so nervous, so on edge, because in Princeton we'd pick up Robbie. And not only would we pick up Robbie, he was bringing his boyfriend Neil along too.

I hated Neil. Neil was beautiful in a Rob Lowe kind of way, with perfect brown hair and a perfect body. That he was conceited and bitchy was apparent to everyone except Robbie, or at least Robbie pretended not to notice. But that wasn't why I hated Neil. I hated Neil because he was with Robbie, because he had taken my place. He'd stolen Robbie away from me about a year ago, and they'd been a couple ever since. Worse than that, Robbie loved him. He loved Neil instead of me.

I guess saying that Neil stole Robbie away wasn't a fair statement. Going to different universities and living over a hundred miles apart was bound to strain our relationship. I remembered the blind optimism I'd had when we’d first gone away to college. I’d been sure that our relationship was the one, the unique relationship that could survive separation. We'd opened our relationship to provide for our active libidos, and that had allowed us to make new friends, meet new guys, and even pick up a new lover here and there. Things were working just fine, but in our junior year, Robbie met Neil, and to hear him tell it, they’d connected almost immediately.

At first, I’d just written Neil off as a bitchy fag. I’d figured that when Robbie and I came home last summer, we'd be back together again. But Robbie didn't come home last summer; he’d stayed in Princeton with Neil, and by September they were obviously a tight couple. I had realized that I was in a battle for Robbie only after I'd already lost him. I wiped a tear from my eye and pulled myself together as the plane descended into Princeton.

I was too proud to show Robbie how much he’d hurt me and I was too proud to let him see that I still loved him. In fact, I loved him too much to hurt him back, so I couldn't even get that satisfaction. Instead, I buried my feelings, buried them deep, and just pretended that when our relationship ended I was fine with that and that I was ready to move on myself. I hadn't thought that through very well, though, because if I was fine with things, there was no reason for me to bear any animosity toward Neil. Now I had to pay the price for such pride and repressed feelings. I had to be friendly with the guy Robbie was fucking.

The reason for this trip was that we'd gotten tickets to the Super Bowl, primarily because it was at Stanford this year. The San Francisco 49ers were playing the Miami Dolphins, and it was a huge freaking deal. Robbie was a big 49ers fan, so my dad had invited him to the game. Robbie asked if Neil could come, and I basically had no choice but to acquiesce gracefully, so now I was destined to spend eight hours in a plane with the lovebirds. They'd probably fuck in the lavatory, not to mention the whole weekend. I'd just dealt with this at Christmas and it had almost ripped me apart. I’d spent the whole holiday pretending not to mind their looks, their gestures, their hugs and kisses, and the way they snuck off every once in a while to fuck. Robbie’s bedroom was right across the hall from mine, and Neil was loud, so I’d lain there in bed with pillows over my head to try and block out Neil’s moaning. Now I was going to have to go through it all over again. This was going to be a living hell. I thought briefly about getting off in Princeton and going back to Yale, claiming to be sick, or some shit like that, but I pushed those thoughts aside. I was in this now; I'd just have to endure.

The plane landed on the snowy runway. Evidently New Jersey was no warmer than Connecticut. It was a short taxi to the terminal where I expected to find Robbie, Neil, and Ace waiting. That was the one bright spot: Ace would be coming with us. Ace was my best friend, my “brother” in all but biology, so seeing him would almost be worth this nightmare. The plane pulled up to the terminal but there wasn’t anyone there. I sat there, getting more and more pissed off, until my patience was finally exhausted and I got out of the plane, braving the cold, and headed into the building. I tried to call Ace and Robbie at home (they shared an apartment) but got no answer. I called my dad to see if he'd heard anything, but he hadn't. Finally, 30 minutes after I’d landed, they pulled up in Robbie's Jeep, the same Jeep I'd had in high school and the same Jeep I’d given him. I fought back my anger at the delay and focused on the joy of seeing Ace and Robbie again.

Ace bounded across the taxiway to give me a big hug. “Good to see you, man,” he said. “Sorry we're late. Fucking Neil couldn't decide what to pack.” The fact that he was obviously really pissed off about it somehow made it alright for me to pretend it wasn't a big deal. I was just finishing up our second hug when I turned and found myself face-to-face with Robbie.

Robbie looked kind of like that Tony Dow guy from the old television show Leave it to Beaver, with strong eyebrows and a face that seemed to taper down to the tip of his chin. He was tall, a little over six feet in height, and had dark blond hair and beautiful eyes that were almost lavender. The years since high school had made him even more handsome than before. His body had thickened up as he'd matured into a man. He'd gotten more hair on his chest and on his abdomen, not a lot, but some. Best of all, he still had that same sexy body, the body that was hard as a rock underneath his smooth, soft skin. He was looking at me, worried, and I knew why. Seeing him had surprised me, and for a second I'd looked at him like I used to, like I used to look at him when I loved him. He knew me so well that he’d picked right up on it. Shit. I gave him a big hug, sinking into him like I used to do, feeling his warmth. I felt him hug me back, felt the emotion there, the love that we'd always share, even if it wasn't romantic. “Great to see you, Brad,” he said.

“Great to see you too. Let's go. It's cold out here.” I jumped into the plane with the two of them following me. I'd completely forgotten about Neil. He climbed in after us, and the pilot shut the door.

“Hi Neil,” I said in a perky way, trying to be friendly. I shook his hand and gave him a brief hug at the same time, a “man hug” as Ace and I called it, just like our grandfather had taught us. Thinking of him made me sad. His death six months ago was still a pretty raw wound for all of us.

“Hello,” he said coolly, then changed his tone. “I'm not sure if I got everything,” he whined. The plane was moving and I sat in the chair that Stef sat in, indicating that I was in charge. It was Stefan's plane, and everyone knew that I was his favorite.

“Too late now,” I chirped. “You'll get by.” He pulled Robbie aside and started bitching in a low-keyed way.

“Brad, I think we left a bag in the Jeep. Can we go back?” That was Robbie. He was stuck in the middle of this, and he looked pretty unhappy about it, but this was a power play on Neil's part, and there was no way he was going to win.

“Let me check,” I said. I picked up the phone and pretended to talk to the pilots. “Sorry. We've already been cleared by the tower.” The Falcon's engines wound up and Neil grabbed a seat, giving me a pissed off look. For the first time all day, I actually felt pleased. The plane lifted off and we settled in for the long flight home to Palo Alto. Ace had collapsed into the big chair next to me, while Robbie sat across from me and Neil sat across from Ace.

“I can't sit backward; it makes me sick,” Neil whined. Ace and I had the prime seats, and neither one of us was about to relinquish them to this asshole. Robbie looked embarrassed.

“You may want to try the couch in the back then,” I said politely. “That's the best spot in the plane if you have airsickness, or so the pilots tell me.”

“Fine,” he said, giving me a dirty look, then he stomped off to the back of the plane. Robbie was about to follow him but I stopped him by talking to him, just to piss Neil off by taking up some of his time.

“So what are you going to do next year? Graduation's in just six months.” I figured that would draw him into a longer discussion.

“I've thought about it, and I decided to go to grad school. That way I can finish up here with my degree in engineering, and go on and study architecture for my Masters.” Robbie had fallen in love with architecture. It was really cool when we'd been together, because he'd sketch the bones of a building and I'd draw it out as it would look. Back when we were together, I thought sadly.

“That sounds great. Where are you planning to go?” He looked toward the back nervously. Neil was a year behind him, so if he left Princeton, they'd be separated. Good.

“Well, staying at Princeton is an option, but I applied to Harvard and Yale as well. Plus UC Berkeley.” His voice got low, obviously to keep Neil from hearing. “I even applied to the Sorbonne.”

“That's awesome. I hope you get into all of them. You think your French is good enough to make it in Paris?” I teased. French was my second language, one that was frequently spoken in our house, so I was fluent. I had worked to teach him when we were together, but it had been tough. He didn't have a very good ear for pronunciation.

“I've been working on it. Ace has helped me out.” He said this in flawless French, but with an accent that would make any Frenchman cringe.

“Very good,” I said, praising him. He looked to the back furtively. Neil didn't speak French. I pulled out a joint and lit it, handing it to Ace. Ace took a puff, then handed it to Robbie. He looked at the joint, then back at Neil, shrugged, and took a hit.

“The smoke is irritating my sinuses,” Neil whined from the back. He must be fucking amazing in bed, I thought, for Robbie to put up with him. Ace and I giggled, and Robbie smiled sheepishly as we all ignored him. Robbie kept trying to get away from us so he could go smooth things over with Neil, but I kept him trapped up front with us, using conversation as handcuffs. In the end, I managed to keep him with us for the whole flight. My mission, to avoid having to deal with them fucking in the lavatory, was accomplished.

We landed smoothly in Palo Alto and found Rafael there to pick us up. Neil literally flounced off the plane and into the limo. He sat in the back seat, and I was going to make him move when Ace decided to save us a battle by sitting across from me.

“That was so nice of your father to send the car for us,” Neil said to Robbie. Robbie looked at me very uncomfortably, while Ace just rolled his eyes. Suddenly I was starting to understand Neil's attitude. Neil had erroneously pegged Robbie as the heir to all of this wealth. I decided it was time to cause some problems.

“Actually, the limousine belongs to my father,” I said politely. “But you're right; it was nice of him to send it for us.” Neil looked at me curiously, but Robbie jumped in and changed the subject, pointing out sights along the way. Neil thought that Robbie was one of us, which he was, but not in terms of wealth. The limousine, the massive house with its own name (Escorial), the land, the horses, all of these things belonged to JP, the guy that Ace and I considered to be our dad. Robbie was like a part of the family, but he stood to inherit no great amount of money, and there was no trust fund to support his lifestyle. Neil didn't know that, and I could understand why.

Shortly after we'd moved away to college, my mother had hired Frank Hayes, Robbie's dad, to come out to California and work for her construction company. He ended up being more than just an employee. When his divorce from Robbie's mother was final, Frank had moved into my mother's room, and they'd been a couple since then. That must have been really weird for JP, since he'd fucked around with Frank in the past, but they all seemed fine with it. Even Roger, JP's partner, seemed to take it all in stride. My mother and Frank were a mismatched couple. She was classy and graceful, while he was rough, raw, and masculine, but they were so obviously in love it was adorable, and my mother had done a lot to soften some of Frank's rougher edges.

It was understandable that Neil, coming home with Robbie for Christmas, must have seen this happy heterosexual couple, saw my mother serving as chatelaine of the house, saw Robbie’s father as her obvious partner, and must have assumed that all of this was theirs. I wondered why Robbie hadn’t set him straight about that? I glanced over at Neil, dressed in his Guess jeans, a Polo shirt, and a sweater tied loosely around his neck. To complete the preppy look, he wore Sperry Top-Siders, with no socks of course. It had taken a decent amount of cash to buy his outfit. Neil never really talked about himself or his family, other than vague references.

“Neil, where did you say you were from?” I asked.

“My family is from Northern Virginia. Near the Capitol.”

“What part of Virginia?” I probed.

“Well, my grandmother lives in Alexandria,” he said, drawling it out as if living in Alexandria was the be-all and end-all of existence.

“Where did you grow up?”

“Well, I spent some time in the city with my grandmother, and some time in the country with my parents. They have a place in Charlottesville. Oh look! We're here!” he said, changing the subject as we went through the gates.

“So you must be pretty familiar with the country then? Did your parents have a farm?” I persisted, forcing him to answer another question.

“I don't know if you'd call it a farm,” he answered with an arrogant sneer, as if it was some grand plantation and I was insulting him by calling it a mere “farm.” I glanced at Ace and he had a playful look in his eyes, but there was no time for more questions as we arrived and were absorbed into our greeting; the whole family was there to welcome us. I felt my sad mood evaporate as I basked in the love of these people who were so important to me.

Stef inhaled the joint and passed it to me, allowing the smoke to waft down his throat in an incredibly sexy way. Everything he did was sexy. If he weren’t my uncle, more like a father, I'd nail him big time. “So what is on your mind, Bradley?” he asked. The remnants of his French accent even made his voice sexy.

“I was just lamenting the fact that you're like a father to me, and that means I can't fuck you,” I said, making him laugh.

“You make me feel young and attractive. Thank you,” he said, smiling at my compliment. He was almost forty, but easily looked ten years younger than that. His expression and tone changed abruptly and became serious. “You still love him.”

“Yes,” I said simply. I really didn't want to talk about Robbie.

“This is hard on you. Why did you come out to visit?”

“I don't know. I guess I wanted to be home. I miss being here.” He stared at me, telling me with his eyes that he knew that wasn’t the real reason. I caved, like I always did with Stef, and opened up to him. “I wanted to see him. I can't help it. It's like I'm suddenly masochistic or something. I want to see him even though I know it will hurt.” He held my hand and looked at me sadly. “When will it stop hurting?” I asked him plaintively.

“When you meet someone new,” he replied, trying to sound like a sage. I nodded and he walked me down to my room.

We got to my door and heard noises across the corridor. “Oh yeah, Robbie. Drill me, baby. Drill me,” I heard Neil shriek loudly. Hearing them fucking should have hurt me, but it was so over the top it was hysterical. Stef and I couldn’t stop ourselves from cracking up, probably too loudly. Finally we got our laughter under control. Stef nodded to me and headed off, leaving me standing there listening. I heard Robbie's sexy deep voice, barely audible, but I couldn’t understand what he was saying. “I don't care if I'm noisy. He knows we're together. He'll figure it out,” Neil said. His bitchy voice came through loud and clear. Then Robbie spoke again, his voice still low and deep, and still incomprehensible. “You know what, if you're so worried about his feelings, then you can lie here and finish yourself off,” Neil said in a really pissed-off tone. I barely had time to jump into my room before Robbie's door flew open and Neil stormed out, a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Come on, Neil,” Robbie said, almost a whine, as he stood in the doorway, stark naked, his dick hard and throbbing, the condom still on. I guess he didn't entirely trust Neil, or Neil didn't entirely trust him. Monogamous couples were the only ones who could risk bare-backing now. AIDS scared the shit out of all of us. But when you were monogamous, that was one of the beauties of it, one of the benefits, but only if you trusted your partner. Neil slammed his door and we heard the lock click. Robbie suddenly became aware that I was standing there in my doorway watching him. “Sorry about that,” he said even as he turned bright red with embarrassment. I was too busy looking at his hard dick, remembering the times that we had been together and he had used it to make me feel so good. Our eyes met and I felt bad, daring. I looked both ways down the hall and opened my door in what could only be an inviting gesture. I saw the struggle on his face, saw the emotions and hormones breaking through reason, and then he was across the hall and through my door. I closed it and locked it. “I shouldn't do this,” he said as I ran my hands up his sexy chest. I ignored his guilt.

“Looks like you've been dishing it out tonight,” I said as I pulled the condom off. “How about if you take it instead.” He moaned and kissed me, his lips on mine, his mouth on mine, and I surrendered to the feel of his body, the taste of his mouth, and the love I still had for him. We moved to my bed and I lovingly pushed him down onto his back, then climbed on top of him. I began grinding into him, rubbing my dick up and down his crack, while he thrust his ass back into me, begging me to penetrate him. “Did you miss me, baby?” I asked as I nibbled on his neck. I knew his body as well as I knew my own, and I was really turning him on.

“Yeah. Make love to me,” he said quickly. That was sad. He didn't want to talk to me, he just wanted to fuck. When Robbie loved someone, he got into talking during sex. That he didn’t do that told me this was about sex, not love. Still, it was better than nothing, and I was determined to remind him about what he was missing. I slipped on a condom, kissing him the whole time, and then grabbed the lube. I got him ready, taking my time. I have a big dick, a really big dick, and even though he'd taken me before, I assumed I’d need to loosen him up first. I rolled him over onto his stomach and dove into his ass with my mouth, remembering his unique smell, his musk, letting it fire me up like an aphrodisiac. Then I probed him with my fingers again and was kind of surprised at how loose he was. I ignored that revelation, lined myself up, and pushed in.

“Ummm,” he sighed as I slowly sank my dick into his ass. I draped my body over, altering my angle to hit his prostate. Robbie loved to get fucked. He had a really sensitive prostate and getting fucked usually set him free. In no time at all he turned into a wild man, driving back into me, begging me for more. I knew he was getting close so I pulled out. He moaned, thrusting back, trying to find my dick, trying to get me back. I rolled him over and pushed his legs back, exposing his pulsing hole to my dick. I reentered him hard and rough because he liked it like that sometimes, and I sensed his mood and knew this was one of those times. He looked at me, his eyes locking onto mine as he made that adorable little “o” with his mouth, the expression that told me he was really close. I alternated between hard, pounding thrusts, and slow, loving penetration, keeping him on edge for as long as I could.

“I can't stand it, Brad. Make me cum. Make me cum,” he pleaded.

“Anything for you, baby,” I said, and saw him smile. Then I started slamming him, slamming him hard, and the smile changed back to the “o”, and then he came. He frantically grabbed a pillow and held it over his face so no one would hear his screams as he let himself totally go. His ass pulsed around my dick while his cock spewed spurt after spurt. The sight of him blowing his load, and the feel of his ass quivering as he did, set me over the edge. I blew into him, my load filling up the condom. I cringed for a moment, mid-orgasm, to remember a time when we were a couple, when I didn't need a condom, when I could fill his ass up when we fucked. Those days were gone. I collapsed onto him, feeling him still quaking and shivering from the massive orgasm I'd just given him. After he was done, he rolled over and I moved up and laid my head on his chest. I loved this, the feel of his body, his warmth, cuddling up with him after making love, feeling his strong arms enveloping me.

Only this time he didn't wrap his arm around me as he used to, and he didn't stroke my back lovingly as he used to. I looked up at him and saw the pain and anguish in his expression. No, that's not it. It wasn’t pain, it was guilt. “I shouldn't have done this,” he said.

“Why? I'm not fun anymore?” I teased, trying to lighten the mood.

He gave me a slight grin. “No, you're too much fun. You always have been.” He sighed. “I made a commitment. I promised to be faithful, and I blew it.” My heart went out to him.

“How come you wore a condom when you fucked him?” I asked, changing the direction of our conversation. He cringed and said nothing. He didn't trust Neil and he didn’t want to admit it. And now Neil couldn't trust him.

“I should get back to my room.” Then he looked at me, horrified. “Are you going to tell him about, uh, this?”

“I don't know. Silence is expensive,” I said, flirting.

“Alright,” he said, picking up on my mood. “What's the price?”

“Stay here with me for a while. I'm worth an hour, aren't I?” I sounded pathetic.

“You're worth way more than just an hour, but I may have to do it in shifts,” he said lovingly, trying to help me not look like such a fucking idiot. He glanced at the clock and lay back, this time pulling me into him and loving me like he used to. Or at least that's what I told myself. “It's nice to be with you,” he said.

I thought about throwing some bitchy comment at him, but that wasn't fair. I'd learned to control myself over the years. The impulsive, hot-headed high school boy had learned to curb his temper and control his emotions, at least somewhat. “It's nice to be with you too.” I paused before going on. “I know that you're with Neil now, but I, uh, I want you to know that I miss you.” He didn't say anything; he just stroked my back lovingly. Then he stopped, and then I heard his soft snoring.

I wanted to just lie there with him all night, to be with him, but I knew that he needed to get back. He trusted me enough to fall asleep and he was relying on me to wake him up. I wouldn't betray that confidence. After an hour and a half, I woke him up by sucking on his dick.

“I'm late,” he said, but with a smile.

“I think you're going to be even a little later,” I teased back. This time he made love to me, and having him inside me, feeling him working me so gently and with so much love, was almost spiritual. After he came, he kissed me gently and got out of bed.

“I have to go this time,” he said. I nodded, gave him one more kiss, and watched him sneak out, enjoying the sight of his cute ass wiggling as he walked across the room.

January 19, 1985

Escorial

Palo Alto, CA

I ran into Robbie and Neil in the kitchen the next morning. Tonto came in right after I did, carrying her paper. Tonto was my grandmother, a woman who was an incredible dynamo even at this age. Without saying anything, she sat in her normal chair at the end of the table and started reading.

“How nice to see you, Mrs. Schluter,” Neil said with his fake, sugary voice.

Tonto eyed him over her paper. She didn't like to be bothered in the morning when she was reading, and she didn't really like Neil. “Humph,” was all she said.

Neil wasn't about to be deterred. “It's supposed to be a beautiful day today,” he said cheerfully. “We should do something outside.” The tumblers in my brain clicked.

“What a great idea! Let's go riding!” I said. “Come on Neil, we've got tack that will fit you.” I saw the look of horror on his face, and saw Tonto grin as she pretended to read her paper.

“I, uh, I...” Neil said, struggling to find an excuse. Robbie looked at him supportively, then he caught me watching him and looked uncomfortable. He probably remembered last night.

“Come on. It will be fun. You can ride the mare. I don't mean to offend you, but the mare is more docile,” I added.

“She sure is. It will make things easier for you since you don't know the terrain,” Tonto added nicely. She was only nice when she was being mean. She’d figured out that he didn't know how to ride.

He swallowed and followed me to the stables. I asked Rafael to saddle up the horses while I took him to the tack room to grab some boots and some riding clothes. He put on the pants and I couldn't help but admire his sexy body. He was lithe, almost the same way that JP and Stef were, and his movements were fluid. When he was done, he pivoted for me, modeling.

“You look terrific,” I said supportively. He grinned. He was a compliment whore. Then he looked really nervous. “You don't know how to ride, do you?”

He glared at me. “No. And that's why you did this. You forced me into this to make me look like an idiot.”

I strolled past him and slapped his ass with my riding crop. “I don't have to make you look like an idiot. You do that just fine on your own.” I found the horses waiting. “Neil won't be joining me after all,” I told Rafael. I mounted JP's stallion and galloped off, enjoying the views, the weather, and getting away from Neil and Robbie.

After my ride I headed into the kitchen for some food and found myself face-to-face with an angry crowd. Robbie, JP, and Frank were standing there as if they were waiting to ambush me. “What did you do to Neil?” Robbie demanded.

“I didn't do anything to Neil. He was supposed to go riding with me but he apparently failed to remember that he doesn't know how,” I said calmly.

“He said you hit him,” Robbie said. Frank and JP stared at me, while I saw Tonto still pretending to read her paper.

“I didn't hit him.”

“He says you did.” Robbie was adamant.

“Well show me the bruises and broken bones that I caused,” I demanded, now more forcefully. Robbie looked a little less certain now that I was getting irritated. He left to go get Neil.

“You need to treat his friends with respect,” Frank said.

Tonto looked at him. “Are you kidding me? That guy? Treat him with respect?” And then she started laughing. Frank just looked uncomfortable.

“No. He'll hurt me. I don't want to go in there!” Neil screamed as Robbie dragged him into the kitchen.

“So where exactly did I hit you?” I asked him firmly.

“On my butt,” he said, rubbing it as if I had beaten him with a belt. Frank and JP looked really irritated now, but only because they knew now that Neil was being a complete idiot. I’d deal with them later.

“Show me the bruise,” I ordered.

“I'm not going to take off my pants here, in front of everyone,” Neil said, as if he was being molested.

“Ha!” Tonto said.

“Show me then,” Robbie demanded. He looked irritated with Neil too.

“I will not. I will not suffer further abuse.” He was being defiant because he was on shaky ground.

“Well let me explain a few things to you, Neil,” I proceeded. “I live here. This is my house. I need to be able to come home and enjoy my family without worrying about some idiot throwing false accusations at me. So either you prove that I hurt you or you get the fuck out of here. Those are your choices.” I glared at the others, daring them to defy me.

I saw Neil look around as well, and he got it that he wasn't going to be able to stroll into my house and create drama. “Let's just forget it,” he said, and stalked out of the room. To all of us, it was a clear admission of guilt. Robbie looked at me, an apology in his eyes. I just glared back at him, then gave JP and Frank really terrible looks to make them feel guilty for not sticking up for me in the first place. After the silence became uncomfortable, I headed to my room to take a shower. I had just finished stripping when there was a knock on my door. It was Robbie. I ushered him in, closing the door behind him.

“I'm sorry, Brad.” His eyes weren't on mine, they were on my body. It made me smile to think that I could still distract him.

“You know me better than that,” I snapped at him, irritated.

“I know. Neil is just really insecure around you.”

“Why is that?” I asked.

“Because he thinks you're a threat to us, to our relationship. He thinks that you want me back.”

I paused to think about how to answer that. “Doesn't really matter what I want. What matters to your relationship with Neil is how you feel.” His eyes on my body were creating a very obvious reaction.

“I told him that we were over, that I wanted to be with him, but he doesn't believe me.” That hit me like a truck, but he'd never know it. I was so much stronger and more controlled than I used to be.

“Well, I'm willing to accept your apology with one condition,” I said, approaching him with a slutty demeanor. “I want to fuck you.”

“Brad, we can't do this. We can't. I'm in a relationship. I can't cheat on him, uh, again.” He was whining even as I wrapped my arms around him. I pulled his lips to mine and while we were kissing I grabbed his hand and pulled it down to my rock-hard cock.

“Come on, Robbie. Make me feel good. Please?” I begged. Then things seemed to move at warp speed. His pants were down, the condom was on, and once more I was in that beautiful ass of his and once more we both had amazing orgasms.

“We can't do this again,” he said firmly as he wiped the cum off the floor where he shot.

“Sure we can,” I said, and flounced into the bathroom to take a shower. I knew that Robbie loved Neil, or at least he thought he did, and I knew that he would be making love to Neil today, tonight, maybe forever, but the fact that I'd been able to get him to sleep with me made that bearable. I still had a piece of him.

Dinner that night was a blast. My sister, Claire, and her boyfriend, Jack, came up to spend some time with us. They were both at Stanford and lived close to campus. They'd met when Claire was a sophomore in high school, and while most people break up with their high school sweethearts in college, Claire and Jack had made it this far and seemed to be doing great. There had been some scrapes along the way, drama when one or the other of them had grown in a different direction, but they were short-lived phases. Of course, they'd made sure to go to the same school.

“Is Neil here?” Jack asked shortly after they got to Escorial. Jack was beautiful, probably the handsomest guy I knew. He didn't like Neil. He was fine with gay guys and he'd even flirt harmlessly with them, but Neil was really aggressive with Jack.

“He's probably in bed waiting for you,” I teased.

“Fucking guy cops a feel every chance he gets. He makes me feel like a sex object.” Jack had a great sense of humor.

“You are,” I said as I grabbed him from behind and picked him up, squeezing his nipple.

“Claire, Brad's molesting me again,” he said, whining like a 2^nd grade tattler.

“Brad, leave my man alone or I'll hurt you,” Claire said. We giggled as she moved in and put her arm around him protectively. Claire was a beauty. With JP's thick blond hair, and a body most women would kill for, she was the perfect arm ornament for Jack. Or maybe he was the perfect arm ornament for her? Either way, they sure made a great-looking couple.

January 21, 1985

Palo Alto, CA

“I should be in class right now,” Neil bitched as we climbed into the plane for the trip back. He sat in my seat.

“You're in my seat. Move.” There was no way he was going to sit there. I had put up with his shit all weekend, and I'd gotten to the point where I wasn't taking it anymore. Besides, I'd already been nice enough to him to make it seem like I didn't care about Robbie anymore. Now he was just flat-out annoying.

He looked at me as if planning a challenge, and then thought better of it. The pilot came back and went over the itinerary with me. “We'll land in New Haven, and then we'll be taking the other three passengers back to Princeton.”

“Thanks Aaron,” I said, smiling at him. He was a hunky guy, just like all the guys Stefan hired.

“We're not getting off first?” Neil whined. “I have assignments that I have to work on.”

“So do I, and I'm in charge, so we go to New Haven first,” I said rudely. Robbie wisely ushered him to the back of the plane.

“God, he's a pain in the ass,” Ace said.

“Is he this bad at home?”

He smiled. “He used to be until I got sick of his shit and started telling him to go fuck himself. So now Robbie spends more time over there instead of Neil coming over to our place. Works for me.” I nodded and hid the sadness I felt when I thought about Robbie sleeping with Neil.

Ace dozed off almost as soon as we took off, leaving me alone with my own thoughts. The Super Bowl had been terrific, especially since the 49ers won. We'd all gotten fucked up and I learned that Neil was even more obnoxious when he was drunk than when he was sober. He was so drunk he'd even hit on me, and that told me why Robbie still wore condoms with him. Why he was with that little slut was beyond me. Maybe there was something wrong with me. Maybe there was some weird flaw, or maybe I had really bad BO or something. Whatever it was, Robbie loved Neil and not me.

The plane landed roughly in New Haven, jolting us all awake. I must have fallen asleep after torturing myself with thoughts of Neil and Robbie. The pilot came back to apologize. “I'm sorry about the landing. The weather is crappy and the wind gusts make it a little bumpy sometimes.”

“It's no big deal, Aaron. Shit happens.” I turned to Ace. “I'll see you soon, bro.” Both of us had moist eyes. Goodbyes were always hard.

“You know it,” he said, and pulled me into a massive hug. I headed to the back of the plane and there was Robbie, standing there, waiting to give me a hug too. I looked into his eyes right before the hug and saw something that really surprised me. It was that look, the look he'd given me all those years ago when we were still together: the look that said he still cared about me.

“It was great to see you, Brad,” he said as he grabbed me tightly in a big bear hug. God, how I loved being in his arms. I just held onto him for a long time, until Neil cleared his throat in a meaningful gesture.

“It was great to see you too,” I said, and winked at him, making him smile. “Goodbye, Neil,” I said with only a hint of politeness, and then I strode off the plane and down the stairs.

The ground crew had brought my car up for me, all warmed up, and placed my bag in the trunk. I smiled at my car. I'd bought it last summer, a Porsche 911 cabriolet, and it was one fine ride. I thought I'd never find a car I loved as much as my Ferrari, but this one proved me wrong. As I slid behind the wheel, I wondered if that would be true of men. I needed to find a man better than Robbie to spend my life with. I sighed, wondering if that was possible.