The Next Stage - 8. Better Late, Than Never

Ryan sits up and fumbles for his phone light as he hears the window being opened and someone, anything but graciously, falling through it.

“Shhh~” Jasper stands up and closes the window then hobbles over to the bed.

“Why are you climbing through the window? How have you climbed a two-storey house?” Ryan asks in a whisper.

“Because.” Jasper climbs on the bed, right on top of Ryan. “I’m your forbidden boyfriend, we’ve gotta keep it secret from your dad that I’m here.” He smiles as he leans down to kiss Ryan.

“Ok, I really don’t want... Oh. Ok.” Ryan’s words trail off as Jasper starts gently biting his neck, his hand moving south with obvious intention. “I’m not comfortable doing this here,” Ryan gulps, grabbing Jasper’s hand.

“Shhh~” Jasper hums.

“I’m serious. Stop.”

“Make me... Oof.” Ryan takes Jasper by surprise, throwing him down on the bed and pinning his wrists above his head.

“I know you’ve had an exciting night, but this is not the place and it’s definitely not the time.” Ryan warns sternly. Jasper laughs to himself.

“Keep it down in there, fags.” Brayden knocks on the wall.

“Jealousy is a bitch Brain-dead.” Jasper calls back. “See what I did there? Brayden, Braindead?” Jasper says quieter to Ryan.

“Shh!” It’s Ryan’s turn to shush him.

“Good one, Jerkser.” Brayden shouts.

“I like your brother, he’s fun to annoy.”

“Half-brother.” Ryan corrects.

“That hurts.” Brayden replies.

“How thin are these walls?” Jasper frowns, starting to understand now why the cane fields were the suggested sex place.

“Thin enough that I am about to send you all out to sleep in tents.” Ryan’s dad joins in the conversation.

“As far as punishments go, that sounds pretty intense.” Ryan shakes his head at Jasper’s joke.

“Hey Jasper, what did the past say to the future after their fight?” Brayden asks, waiting only a moment before delivering his punchline. “That was intense.” Brayden laughs at his own joke.

“The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense. I've been working on my dad jokes.” Ryan rolls his eyes at Jasper and moves off him, lying back down and turning his back to him. He was far from in the mood for this. Jasper spoons him. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. Ryan doesn’t reply.

After Ryan’s comment that they would only spend 5 minutes a day pretending to be a happy couple on stage, that was exactly what happened. Jasper shut down and didn’t talk to or initiate anything aside from that performance. The staged kisses were even starting to feel like they carried an undertone of annoyance at one another.

The most love between them happened when they went to the comedy show together. There was no 6 minute song about cheese to cheer them up and change their moods. Despite the wild hair and the lack of shoes, the musician sat down at the piano and performed a melancholic stream of songs that feels like it's made for them.

There was a song with the line 'I can't save you from yourself'. Ryan remembered the helplessness he felt when Jasper shut him out years ago, but also the fear of watching his child one day struggle the way he had, made him feel extremely anxious about not being able to protect others from their own mental health battles.

Another song with the lyrics 'when we are apart, there's a hole in my heart', had Jasper reflecting on how hard tour had been on him and Ry. Also on his mind was how he could run off months and months on tour years ago, but the thought of being away from Ryan like that, especially when he's not the only one he'd be leaving behind, was too much to bare.

There almost feels like a silly break in the deeper songs with one mocking rich people. That is until the line 'god it's been ages since they made love, and the kids are on drugs with their ADHD and their anxiety and the music is shit, and the time just keeps slipping away as I'm sitting here playing'. Jasper could just about see himself at the piano at 40 singing about how he had everything and nothing all at once and it scared him.

By the time they reach the finale song, Jasper is surprised he hadn't broken down yet. 'If they could let me trade, I'd, give a year for half a day.' Ryan's hand goes to Jasper's knee and Jasper places his hand on top. 'Sometimes I feel you with me, in the dark. And your face is, in the faces of the strangers walking by me, in the park.' Ryan squeezes his hand.

'And reflected in your eyes, is all my love and all my lies, is all my promise, all my pride, is all my fear and all my fight. Is all my dread and my denial.' Ryan could feel himself crumbling now.

'I will carry you wherever I go. I will carry you, lord knows, I will carry you.' Jasper was so glad that Ryan was holding him because he wasn't sure how he would get through the lyrics without him.

The show was beautiful; the songs hurt, but still Jasper loved every second. He felt incredibly inspired by the way one man at the piano could tell so many stories and evoke so many feelings. He was far from wanting to change his style entirely, but he felt more motivated to get back to planning songs at his piano that he could pour his love into. Maybe one day he could inspire someone like himself, through songs that challenged his ability to be so raw and honest about himself.

They left that show hand in hand and speechless and stayed that way through the night, falling asleep, still holding one another.

“Leo, what the fuck is this weather?” Jasper complains the moment he gets in the back of Leo’s car the next morning, headed to the airport. “It is 5am and I am sweating,” Jasper continues complaining. “Fire whoever made it hot.”

“I’ll just call the equator, shall I? Ask it to back off a bit?” Leo asks sarcastically.

“That’s your job, bitch, get to it,” Jasper snaps his fingers.

“Can’t you handle the heat?”

“No, it's a catalyst for problems. You will have to follow me everywhere, fanning me with a giant leaf.”

“Not going to happen. Once I drop you two at the airport, I’m going to disappear into a self-indulgent holiday off my own. You’re alone until we leave the country,” Leo states.

“Ok, keep in mind the movie 'Wolf Creek' is based on two different serial killers in this country. I would really appreciate you letting me know you’re alive every day.”

“I’ve got more chance of being killed by an angry kangaroo but I’ll keep my GPS on so you know where I am.”

“Wait, you track him?” Ryan tunes into the conversation.

“Not in a creepy way.” Jasper shrugs, smiling at Ryan. It’s the first time he’d heard Ryan speak to him all morning.

“Is there a not creepy way to track someone?” Ryan asks, but Jasper is busy arguing with Leo about details of the outback murders.

“All I’m saying is if you don’t reply for more than 24 hours, I’ll be sending the police to look for you.”

“You know, when you said we’d have a private island to ourselves, I wasn’t exactly picturing a film crew.” Ryan glances over his shoulder at the boat unloading with people with full loads of recording equipment.

“It’s only for today, don’t worry,” Jasper shrugs, paying no attention as he walks down the pier towards the luscious greenery of the island. A curious smile on his face. A whole private island to themselves couldn’t come soon enough. With all the ups and downs that they had been through during the tour, Jasper had been banking on this being a turning point for them. They needed to reconnect, especially before bringing another human into their lives.

“Why are they here, though? I thought we were calling this a honeymoon,” Ryan says, clearly disappointed.

“Yes, I just wanted to film a music video while we’re here because it’s such a stunning place.” Jasper spins with his arms out, gesturing at the island.

“Great. So even our holiday revolves around your comeback.”

“Don’t start.” Jasper rolls his eyes. Not that Ryan can see through his oversized sunglasses.

Ryan stops. He couldn’t care less about Jasper somehow acquiring them an entire island. His only interest was sorting out his marriage. “No, come on. You packed this tour so tightly that we’ve barely had a chance to breathe, and when we finally do, you fill up that time with more work?”

“And what do you think is going to happen in 2 months’ time, Ry? I’m not going to be able to do any of this stuff. Yes, I’ve packed it all in now. I am fast tracking and squeezing in this extra work, so I will be free when we get home. I am doing all of this to free up my schedule for after we get home. I get that you’re not pleased with how busy we’ve been, but you were fine with the plan until we found out we were going to be parents. And that was all on you, you are the one that insisted we keep trying after we set the tour dates and said ‘if it happens, we’ll make it work’.” Ryan opens his mouth to argue, but Jasper puts a finger to his lips. “Now, before you get shitty about this, how about you take a breath, and remember that I promised you this will only be for today? We’ve got the next two days to enjoy this beautiful place all to ourselves. I’d really like for us to spend that time remembering why we love each other and appreciating each other because yes, tour has been packed and we have barely had a chance to breathe. You’re struggling, I’m struggling, this relationship is struggling and I’m sorry. This is what my work is like though, it’s not all fun and games and luxury. It’s time consuming and draining and it’s a lot of hard work, especially on my own. At least with the band we shared the responsibility of everything,” Jasper sighs. “I really want to stop having these short and snappy conversations with you, and I don’t want to start our holiday with this mood hanging over us. I don’t blame you for how you feel, but can we please not do this right now?” Jasper begs, taking his finger from Ryan’s lips to let him talk.

“Ok. Sorry, you’re right. So what song are you doing a music video for?”

“Really Yours, Always Now.” Jasper answers as he swings his arms around Ryan's shoulders, looking deep into his eyes, the smile returning to his face.

Ryan softens at the song title. His arms moving to around Jasper’s waist and holding him closer. “And is there a reason that you want to do a music video, for this particular song here, on what is essentially our honeymoon?” he asks.

“Now that you mention it, that is an enormous coincidence.” Jasper answers with a cheeky smile. “But I’m going to have to leave you intrigued by this one. You’ll find out more about what I’m doing, all in good time.” Jasper promises.

Jasper films most of the music video as though he’s performing in first person, singing directly to the camera. All the while Ryan is relaxing back on the deck of the hut, mostly going through all the little clips and photos Grace was sending of the baby bump, she was at an appointment to check her risk for gestational diabetes by drinking sugar syrup and testing her blood glucose levels every hour for 3 hours. Baby was hyped up on sugar and going wild in her tummy, leading to video after video of movements and kicks.

The music video process wasn’t particularly entertaining for those not filming. Jasper would do multiple takes singing the same line again and again changing his facial expression slightly, or the infliction in his voice or sometimes he’d just get frustrated that it wasn’t turning out how he wanted and he’d scrap the whole part and change his mind on what was being done. At one point he’s standing on some rocks, singing towards the ocean and the whole thing gets put on hold as a bird manages to land a dropping in his hair. He grumpily marches up the stairs to the hut muttering about it as he heads in for a shower.

The film crew get some sweet nature shots, film the footprints in the sand and one of them approaches Ryan, asking him to write the song title in the sand so they can film over the words. He’s told to write each word under the other, so down the side, it writes his name.

When Jasper comes back, someone suggests he and Ryan both draw a heart around the words, starting together and moving in opposite directions, then meeting back at the bottom of the heart.

It only takes about 43 attempts for them to both manage to draw their side of the heart shape somewhat symmetrical. Then Jasper sends Ryan away while he finishes what he’d planned to film, more solo shots. For some reason, that made no sense to Ryan, they had filmed Jasper walking up the beach towards the trees at least a dozen times throughout the whole process. He figured it’d somehow piece together by the end.

As the sun is starting to set and it looks nowhere near finishing up, Ryan is asked to change into an outfit that had been placed in their hut. He finds a black suit hanging up, with a golden tie. He dresses into it, not particularly pleased with being another prop in yet another music video.

When he’s dressed, the same person that had been giving him orders, takes him behind where their hut was, to the gardens. Gold string fairy lights were up everywhere, along with paper lanterns. Flower petals form a path towards the middle, another path from the middle leads back to the beach, and it’s only now that Ryan sees Jasper. It was very hard to be annoyed when his heart rate picked up the second his eyes landed on Jasper standing at the other end of the path, in that gold suit he said he’d wear for their wedding.

“You and Jasper are going to walk to the middle, there will be a pause then you and he will put your left hands palm to palm, we’ll be zooming in on the rings then pan up to your faces, what we want is a heartfelt but relaxed smile as you gaze at each other. Then he’s going to sing the chorus line to you, and when the music starts again, you’ll lead him in a waltz, ok?” the lady instructs. Ryan looks over at Jasper, feeling guilty that he was so annoyed about Jasper wanting to film this today. If he’d known, he would not have been complaining at all.

Jasper catches him looking and gives him a sweet smile, then blows him a kiss. Then a camera is aimed down towards Ryan’s feet and he’s instructed to walk up the rose petal pathway. And he thought Jasper wasn’t good at romance? Right now, he was feeling a little outdone. His focus had been on everything else and he’d not made much effort to do any romantic and loving gestures like this for Jas.

He clears the thought from his mind as the camera starts panning up and finally, as they reach the middle, the camera is directly on Ryan’s face. His gaze couldn’t be more heartfelt if he tried. His heart was swelling being here and looking into Jasper’s eyes. Their wedding had been rushed, and they barely got the chance to enjoy it. Even though this wasn’t the real thing, they had already exchanged rings, said vows, filed the paperwork to make it legal. This felt real. They had gotten married at sunrise and now they were faking it at sunset. Their hands press together and Jasper caresses Ryan’s cheek while he sings delicately.

It’s only when the music plays again that Ryan realizes that one line, in the whole song, was going to be sung with no background music. As if all the surrounding sounds disappeared.

“Cut.” Ryan had missed the cue to dance, too busy being absolutely enamored by Jasper and by the slight smirk on Jasper’s face, he knew. “Action.”

Ryan takes Jasper’s hand and smoothly leads him in a waltz. He’d taught him way back when they had started talking about the possibility of marriage, but didn’t end up with time on their impromptu wedding day to have a first dance.

“So, what do you think? This video will come out on whatever day bub is born. I thought it’d a sweet way to tell the world we’re married.” Jasper grins.

“Aren’t we filming?”

“Yeah, but they’ll dub me singing, over this, and I just want the rest of the music video to be us being spontaneous and having fun.”

“You have out romanced me.” Ryan admits, wrapping his arms around Jasper’s waist and slow dancing instead.

“I’m just getting started.” Jasper winks.

“When did you plan this?” Ryan asks quietly.

“Do you really want to know?”

“If you say this was all thrown together last night...”

“The original plan was that I was going to propose to you this time, and then surprise you with everyone being here to watch the actual ceremony. I only agreed to the spontaneous wedding because I figured Grace wouldn’t be able to travel when she’s a million weeks pregnant and it made more sense to be legally married in our home country. I do however have every intention of going to the courthouse when we get back to the mainland, and registering to be legally married over here too, since I’m sure we’ll be spending plenty of time this way visiting James and Brayden and I definitely want to explore more of these islands. Take family holidays here.” Jasper explains. Ryan stops dancing and looks into Jasper’s eyes, unable to believe what he was hearing.

“No way.”

“I was trying to work out a way to marry you in every single destination we visited where it was legal, but as proven by the amount of arguments we’ve had, we’ve not had the time for romantic gestures until now, so I’m pouring it all into two days.”

“Can I kiss you against that tree? Because I’ve got a real urge to do that.” Ryan states, looking over behind Jasper at a palm tree.

“Absolutely, but make it a tame kiss. If it’s cute, I’ll keep it in the video.” Jasper smiles. Ryan had almost forgotten they were being filmed right now and was not intending on a tame kiss. He didn’t particularly care about it being cute enough for the video.

“Was our wedding going to be used as a music video?” he asks.

“No, idiot. But I'd already paid the videographer to record the day, so I figured I might as well use them.” Jasper shrugs. With that, Ryan drags Jasper over, pins him to the tree, and kisses him lovingly.

“Ok, Ryan, can we get you to move to the other side of the tree, hold Jasper’s hand.” The director calls out. Jasper and Ryan step apart and Ryan follows the instructions. “Now Jasper, you come around the tree and kiss Ryan.”

“Gladly,” Jasper smirks and steps around the trunk, but it’s Ryan that pulls him in close. Jasper laughs as he’s yanked closer, his hand sweeps under Ryan’s chin and he leans in slowly, singing teasingly as he hesitates on the kiss.

They film for a bit longer. Jasper and Ryan dancing together around the space, improvising sweet moments. Jasper cups a handful of rose petals and blows them at Ryan. Ryan holds a handful of petals above his and Jasper’s head, sprinkling them down on them while they share another kiss. It was cute; it was cheesy, and it was the most they had felt like themselves in a long time. By the time the director finally calls cut, they have about half an hour's worth that would be cut down for the final 40 seconds of the music video. They would, of course, get the full recording.

As crew members get to work packing up, one of the camera-men takes Ryan and Jasper aside for a wedding style photo shoot before the sun completely sets on the horizon. The last photo is only a silhouette as they stand before the water’s edge, the moon lighting up the still as glass water behind them. The couple hold each other close and share a sweet, delicate kiss.

As promised, everyone is on the boat and waving goodbye to the couple before dinner time. Jasper stands on the end of the pier with Ryan's arms around him to keep him warm as they see off the boat.

“I cannot wait to see that music video,” Jasper sighs contently, leaning back into Ryan, who presses a gentle kiss on Jasper’s shoulder.

“I’m so sorry I was moody this morning,” Ryan says, placing another kiss on Jasper’s neck.

“Speaking of, I haven’t eaten all day. I’m starving. We should eat before I get hangry. Come on, dance legs, I’ll race you back to the garden,” Jasper says, nudging Ryan off him and bolting down the pier. Ryan runs after him, just thankful to have the island to themselves at last.

When he reaches the garden they had been filming in, Jasper is waiting for him and the sight of him is breathtaking. His gold jacket was off and thrown to the side, but he is wearing the short-sleeved white button up dress shirt and bow tie. He’s lying on a pile of cushions set up on a large picnic blanket with an array of fruit and seafood platters beside him, staring up at the moon between the leaves, the fairy lights and lanterns still up giving him a warm glow.

“What is this?” Ryan asks, as he walks over and sits down beside Jasper.

Jasper props himself on his elbows, watching Ryan take off his own jacket to get more comfortable. “This is dinner,” he smiles.

“What, this?” Ryan leans over Jasper and bites his lower lip softly before kissing him with passion.

“Mmm,” Jasper tries to talk, but Ryan doesn’t let him, only kisses harder, forcing Jasper back down into the cushions. “Mm~” Jasper hits him playfully on the shoulder only making Ryan smirk against his lips.

“Ow,” Ryan pulls back as Jasper bites his tongue.

“Well, I told you I was starving. Anything that goes in my mouth right now is going to be considered food.” Jasper warns. Ryan laughs and rolls off him, plucking a grape and feeding it to Jasper.

“I can’t believe you organized all of this. Wait, did you do it or was it, Leo?” Ryan asks.

“Of course it was Leo that made the phone calls. But I planned it. It was all my idea.” Jasper shrugs, lying back with his arms behind his head. Ryan feeds him another grape.

“I don’t feel like I deserve it after the way I’ve been,” Ryan admits. Jasper gives a pitying smile and places a hand on Ryan’s shoulder, feeding him a grape to return the favor.

“Shit has been really intense. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Life kind of went from 10 to 1000 really fast for us,” Jasper sighs.

“We haven’t really talked about the baby. I mean, planned to try, but I don’t think either of us actually thought through how this would all work. We’ve talked about appointments, we joke about names, we argued about the gender and we’ve been stressing to ourselves about everything else. But really, we haven’t just talked about the fact we’re going to be parents, yet,” Ryan says. Jasper gives another sigh and lies back down. “Are you worried?” Ryan asks after Jasper fails to add to his conversation.

“Ry, this is meant to be sweet and romantic. Do we have to get onto the topic of things we’re worried about right now? Can we just enjoy this?”

Ryan looks down at Jasper. He could see Jasper was holding back, but he also felt like now just mustn’t be the time. “You promised me, remember? That you wouldn’t shut me out anymore. That you would tell me when you weren’t ok,” he reminds him.

“I know, but there’s been enough to stress without adding anything else to the pile.” Jasper argues, turning to help himself to more food.

“No, we are not going back to that. You have got to let me in.”

“Ok, sure, but in the middle of this picnic? I’m fine, I promise. I’m stressed. I’m nervous and there’s a lot of pressure on me right now with tour and my career and making the right choices to be able to balance having a family and not completely kissing my music goodbye. There’s just a lot up in the air right now and none of it we can change or predict or control so I’m just trying to leave it up there, out of reach and I’ll deal with each thing as it starts actually falling apart around me. Right now, my main concern is not wasting all this lovely local produce and this beautiful night with the man I love, by having a complete crisis about everything else.” Jasper states, sitting up and hugging his knees as he looks down through the trees at the ocean. They were in their own little piece of paradise here, and he still couldn’t escape his thoughts. Ryan shifts closer, resting his chin on Jasper’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around him.

“Sorry. It’s just, it’s so constant in my mind. And I know I’ve shut down on you a lot lately, too. I have been worried about us. Especially the last week. But this is perfect. This is what we needed. I’ve had the best afternoon in a long time, just being us. Not having to be sneaky around anyone, not having Leo hanging around like an awkward third wheel...” Jasper laughs at Ryan’s comment.

“God, I hope he’s not in the middle of the outback being chopped into tiny pieces by a maniac.”

“He and I had an interesting conversation recently; we can talk about that now. It might be relevant to the whole honeymoon thing we’re doing.” Ryan suggests.

“Oh, no. Do I want to know?” Jasper laughs.

“Leo has been dropping hints.” Ryan states.

“About what?” Jasper asks, lying back down and relaxing, glad to be off the depressing topics.

“That you might be into some things. Kink things.” Jasper just laughs. “Or is he just talking shit?” Ryan leans back, having something to eat and waiting for Jasper’s reply. The very drawn-out thoughtful silence gets him more than a little nervous. “Ok, how kinky are we talking?”

“Look, he was talking about some BDSM stuff and suggested I go to that event with him because he’s adamant I’d be into it. I don’t know, a lot of the stuff I saw at the kink party I’m not super interested in, but I guess there’s stuff I am open to.”

“Open to as in, you want to try it?”

“As in, if the opportunity presented itself, I’d be willing to try.” Jasper replies, turning his head and seeing the anxious look on Ryan’s face, staring off into the distance as he thinks. “Nothing that intense, Leo jokingly said he’d teach me how to shibari, and that’s definitely not what I want to try. Bondage in general is not so much an interest to me.” Jasper shrugs.

“Ok, so what then?” Ryan seems visibly relaxed.

“Maybe just some stuff that's more about working your senses.”

“Blindfolds?”

“Mm, headphones in, blindfolded, no idea what is going to happen. I don’t know. The anticipation sounds like it’d be exciting.” Jasper shrugs.

“That’s actually my idea of a nightmare, but if you want me to do that to you, I can.” Ryan laughs. “I could run a feather up your legs...”

“Tickle me and you’ll cease living. I’m not joking, that shit is a hard no from me.” Jasper tells him sternly. Not a warning worth ignoring, Ryan had tickled Jasper once and ended up being elbowed in the eye by reflex, not that Jasper apologised at all.

“Anything else?” Ryan asks.

“Probably the kinkiest I’m interested in, is wax play.” Jasper shrugs.

“You want me to drip candle wax over you, but tickling is off the cards?”

“Wax wouldn’t tickle, it’d probably just hurt a bit.”

“Do you want to talk about why you want to do this stuff? Is it a recent thing you’ve been thinking about, or has it always been something you want to try? Is our sex life just boring you and you want to spice things up?”

“Have I ever seemed bored in bed?” Jasper laughs off the suggestion.

Ryan smiles and gives a shrug. “I remember when we first started taking those steps, and you used to be absolutely silent the whole time.”

“Shut up, I was shy.”

“Nothing weirder than going down on someone that doesn’t move or make any noise the entire time.”

“Again, I’ve gone to all this trouble to make a romantic evening for us, and you’re ruining it.” Jasper throws a grape at Ryan.

“I appreciate you expressing your feelings. Where was that 4 years ago?” Ryan teases, throwing a grape back at him.

“It’s really hard to moan over a guy when you’ve got bible passages running through your head, ok.”

“Actually, I want to ask about that, too. I know you were distant from religion when we got together, but after the accident, you were getting involved again. You don’t really talk about it but when you were high, you made a comment about god not letting you into heaven because you’re gay...”

“I was tripping balls, forget it.”

“Are you ok with all of that? If religion has become important to you again, then I don’t feel any differently. Whatever brings you comfort is for you to decide, not me. But you can talk to me about it if you’re conflicted at all.” Ryan assures him.

“I never really stopped believing in something. I just stopped believing that I had to be something I’m not, to be worthy or whatever. All I can do is assume that if, in fact, there is a god, then he’d be less worried about my sex life and he’d judge me on my actions and my intentions, rather than who I sleep with. It’s not really a big thing, it’s not going to interfere with our lives or anything.”

“Would you want to get the baby christened?” Ryan asks.

“No. I want to let them decide for themselves what they do and don’t believe in.” Jasper answers. Ryan smiles at him, then nudges him.

“I think we’ll be good parents.” He states. “You’re going to be a good dad.”

“Still not sure I’m ready to be called ‘dad’. You can be dad and I’ll just be ‘the other one’.” Jasper jokes.

“It sounds weird to say. Maybe it’ll just be different when there’s an actual baby here.”

“And we’ve made it back to the topic of baby. The furthest topic you can be on from getting laid. We got close with the kink talk and we lost it and ended up back at cockblock junior.” Jasper rolls his eyes at Ryan.

“Ok, back to sex. You know what I’ve always wanted to do?” Ryan asks.

“What?”

“Make love under the stars.” Ryan smiles and lies down, looking up at the starry night, away from all the city lights. It was truly beautiful.

“No, really? That’s like the second coincidence of the day. It’s as if you think I rented us an island, had a romantic moonlit picnic organized, all just to talk about our fears and regrets. I didn’t go off my meds to have deep conversations.” Jasper replies sarcastically as he rolls onto his side, just taking his time to gaze affectionately at his husband. Ryan looks back at him with a frown, raising a hand to run through Jasper’s hair before brushing his fingers along his cheek.

“Why are you not taking your anti-depressants?”

“They kill my libido. This is our honeymoon. Priorities.” Jasper replies. He takes Ryan’s hand and kisses his knuckles.

“Babe, you aren’t meant to just stop and start with those drugs.”

“How many times do I have to say it? This is meant to be romantic. Stop. Talking. About. Negative. Things. Not only is it killing the mood, but I’m trying to maintain a healthy, self-regulated headspace here and it’s not easy when this shit keeps being brought up.” Jasper rolls his eyes.

“Sorry.” Ryan sighs. A long silence follows and Jasper is just about to give up on the plan for the night, assuming they had finally completely shut down that chance. But Ryan comes to the rescue, ready to resuscitate the dead mood. He lies down beside Jasper, one hand turning Jasper’s head so Ryan can kiss him. It’s a slow, gentle and loving kiss that was capable of bringing anything back to life. “I love you.” He whispers, kissing Jasper’s neck softly too.

“I know, I love you too.” Jasper turns his head, inviting Ryan to keep drifting his lips and tongue up his neck.

“I love that you organized all of this.” Ryan continues the neck kisses that he knew drove Jasper wild. “I love how good you looked in that jacket.” He whispers as his lips get closer to Jasper’s ear. “And I love how open you’ve been with me tonight.” Ryan smiles against his neck and it sends a shiver down Jasper’s spine. “Now, I need you to do something for me.”

“What?” Jasper asks, already caught up in the moment again. Ryan undoes his tie and holds it out straight, assessing how long it was.

“I want you to sit up for me.” Ryan orders. “Now put your hands over your ears.” Jasper does as he’s told, a nervous but intrigued smile on his lips. Ryan wraps the tie over Jasper’s eyes, around his hands and ties it up at the back, keeping his hands tight to his ears. “Can you hear me?” Ryan asks.

“Only a little.” Jasper answers, louder than necessary. Ryan leans close to Jasper’s ear, making sure he could hear him.

“Remember, we’ve got this entire island to ourselves. You can make full use of your vocal range here.” He says, then pushes Jasper back into the pile of cushions. The tie wasn’t thick enough that Jasper was completely blinded, but he squeezed his eyes shut, not about to ruin this by peeking.

Jasper feels the slight tug of Ryan undoing the buttons of his shirt, then the intensely cold sea breeze on his bare chest as Ryan pulls his shirt open. He was right about what the thrill of this was. The anticipation was amazing. As he waited, unable to hear or see why Ryan wasn’t touching him yet, his mind is serving up some exceptional possibilities. Maybe Ryan was stripping himself, maybe he was just sitting back and letting Jasper’s intrigue build.

He’s left for almost a solid minute, just waiting for something to happen, then he feels the warmth and dampness of Ryan’s tongue just below his ribs, running down his side and drawing patterns all over his sensitive skin while Jasper tried to move away. Ryan stops at his hip, then leaves him hanging for more. For a moment, Jasper imagines that Ryan’s just enjoying dinner in peace. Having a few mouthfuls of food, giving Jasper enough attention to keep him on waiting, and then having something else to eat. Having not actually eaten much himself, Jasper almost regrets letting Ryan restrict him now. His stomach rumbles and he cringes, a little embarrassed. He feels something press against his lips. He opens his mouth and Ryan gives him another grape, only this time he is holding it in his teeth when he leans down, pushing it into Jasper’s mouth with his tongue.

“Thank you.” Jasper mumbles as he eats it. He throws his head back, almost choking on the grape only moments later, as Ryan’s tongue starts to swirl around his nipple. Not usually something Jasper thought of as erotic, but he couldn’t deny the tingles that were shooting through him now as Ryan abandons one to pay attention to the other. The cold air on his now wet nipple even seemed to add to the sensations. Jasper lifts his chest and exhales heavily as he feels Ryan pulling back. He didn’t want him to stop, but he also wanted to know what was going to be next.

The next thing that touches his lips was familiar and quickly welcomed into his mouth. Ryan’s fingers grip Jasper’s hair as he moves Jasper’s head slowly. Not being able to hear Ryan’s responses was one downside to this. But if Ryan kept this going for a while, Jasper would have the anticipation of not being able to tell from Ryan’s breathing and moans when he would let go. But Ryan doesn’t indulge for long, likely knowing that stopping when Jasper is getting into the rhythm was one of the easiest ways to piss him off.

Every part of him wants to open his eyes and see what Ryan is up to, but he’s enthralled by this and he can’t bring himself to break the zone he’s in. Ryan tugs his pants down slightly, kissing and licking at the area right above where Jasper was aching for him to be. Put out of his misery only moments later when he feels the tension and release of his zipper being drawn down, pants pulled down to his knees. Ryan’s lips grazing his inner thigh, his tongue teasingly licking on the outside of his underwear and soft bites on his other thigh. Jasper knew there were only so many ways things would go from here, and none of them would be the first time, but not knowing exactly where Ryan would choose to focus his attention, and how, was almost unbearably hot. Ryan’s fingers slip under the sides of his underwear and he pulls them down. Completely exposed, and desperately awaiting the next touch.

He’s treated to Ryan’s tongue first, then his fingers, then it’s both happening at once and Jasper knows he done for. With so many sensations happening, he wasn’t even aware that the background noise is his own pleasure filled cries as Ryan brings him to completion within only minutes. It was not fair how good Ryan was at getting him off. At least for the first part of their sex lives, everything took longer, but they had each other worked out now, tried and tested all the methods and knew exactly how to destroy the other.

Ryan kisses both Jasper’s thighs, then pulls his pants up again to keep him warm. Ryan kisses up his chest, along his collarbone and all over his neck again.

Ryan’s hand moves behind Jasper’s neck and brings him forward to sit up. He then hooks a hand around Jasper’s arm and pulls him forward more, forcing him to kneel. Jasper is using all he can to try to work out how well he’s doing as he returns the favour. Ryan was bracing Jasper’s arms, but not controlling his movement this time. As he got more and more worked up, the grip on his arms was tightening. He’d move a hand behind Jasper’s head, then self-control would kick in and he’d retreat back to holding just his arms. When that started happening every few seconds, he knew he wouldn’t be far off. He’d like to think he knew his husband well enough to be able to sense all the cues. He may not be hearing him getting breathless, or groaning encouragements and compliments, but he could feel him throb as he nears the end.

Even with his ears covered, Jasper could hear Ryan’s relief, his hands no longer able to resist the need to grab handfuls of Jasper’s hair. Ryan tips Jasper’s head back and Jasper licks his lips, then he’s being lifted to his feet. The blindfold is untied and falls between them and Ryan is kissing him hard as he is brought back down to earth.

“How was that?” Ryan asks when their lips part and they both give a breathless gasp.

“I’m definitely into that.” Jasper answers.

“Mm, you really were.” Ryan smirked, kissing him again.

“Sorry it wasn’t quite the ‘making love under the stars’ that you wanted.”

“Oh, you think we’re done? I’m 100% going to make love to you as soon as we’re ready for round 2. This is just a snack break. Plus, we’re going to need a blanket because you cannot afford to get a cold. I’ll grab the lube too.”

“Lube is in the picnic basket.” Jasper shrugs, grabbing his jacket from the ground and putting it back on. “I second the blanket idea, though. Holy hell, isn’t Australia meant to be hot? It’s freezing.”

“Did you get whoever put the basket together to pack lube? Are you kidding?”

“They knew exactly what we were going to be doing here. There’s no point being coy about it. No one is going to be surprised. It’s our honeymoon.” Jasper sits back down and finds the bottle from the basket. “I have Viagra packed too, because I fully intend on spending the next two days in every conceivable position with you.” Jasper winks. “I’m not leaving this island until my body tells me to take a break.”

Ryan stares at Jasper, not sure what to make of his statement. “I’ll take one with you,” he says with a nod. He couldn’t deny that Jasper’s plan sounded great and if ever there was a time, it’s on their honeymoon.

A few minutes later, Jasper drops a pill in Ryan’s palm and Ryan passes Jasper a glass of champagne. “Thank you, my love.” Jasper accepts the glass.

“Cheers to our honeymoon, at last.” Ryan gives an amused smile.

“Cheers,” Jasper taps his glass against Ryan’s. They both throw down their pills, then entwine their arms and down the whole glass of champagne, too. Ready to kick this night up a notch and make up for a lot of lost time.