For Everything You Were - 17. Aftermath

As the Paramedics took Colin away, the Police finished up and, thankfully, arrested none of us. I was most thankful for Cody as his actions had been heroic. The Police said the presence of the gun and the explanation we all gave gave a clear indication of what had happened. Cody was actually praised for his bravery. When conscious, Colin would be arrested and questioned. But alas, all these 'events' so fatally damaged our family, none of us seemed to care that was the case.

I followed mum to the front door and saw the Police out, then we both went back to the lounge where my dad was sitting with his head in his hands.

"It's… It's over, Alan," she said quietly, sitting down herself. I stood in the doorway while Cody felt it better to get out of the way and was upstairs.

"Yeah, thank God it is; he's never gonna hurt us again," Dad said. Mum's statement was obviously misread. At least to him, anyway.

"No, Alan. I mean us. It's over and… and I want a divorce.

Dad slowly looked up at her. "Honey?"

"Honey? Honey? You call me Honey after what you've done… what I've seen? Are you for real, Alan?"

"Jen, I…."

"Jake, leave us," mum demanded as she wiped a tear from her cheek.

"No, mum, I want to stay. I have a right to know as much as you about what's gone on."

"Jen, listen, I know it looks bad, but…,"

"BAD? She screamed. Alan, it's not just bad, it's betrayal, it's horrific, it's the worst. It's not just fucking bad," she finished. I'd never heard her swear like that. He was really in the shit!

I went and took a seat near my dad. "Well, at least we're all safe," I said, not sure why.

"I just don't know what to say. Those pictures. I can't unsee them, Alan! You and Colin in…."

"Yeah, Jen, please, I don't need the details."

"What? Like fucking him in more positions than we've EVER tried. Oh, is that what you don't want to talk about? And right under my nose, all the time. In fact, how many times?"

"Once." dad said quickly, looking straight at her.

"You're sure, once? Bloody hell, you expect me to believe that? Come on, Alan, how many times, really? What are we talking here? Ten, twenty, a hundred times? With HIM? Oh, I'm sure whoever took those pictures is having a right good laugh at us, aren't they."

"It was once, I swear. It was, and the photos. They... It was Ethen."

"LIER!" I shouted, banging the sofa. "No fucking way, never!"

"I'm sorry, Jake, none of this was ever supposed to… oh, I don't know."

"Why Alan? And how? How on earth did you get in the situation where you and Colin were having sex while… I'm sorry, Jake… while Ethen was taking pictures of you both? That is about as screwed up as it gets."

"Mum, he's lying. Ethen would never do that. In fact, I'm going to call him right now; this is bullshit."

I marched off the sofa and grabbed my phone, speed dialling Ethen's number. It rang a few times, and he was there quicker than I was prepared for.

"Hey, handsome. Still, looking forward to your flight? Or even better... seeing me?"

“Erm, uh… hey Ethen. Listen, I….”

"You okay, babe, you sound awful? Has something happened? Hey, I'm living the life here. Bottles of Soda? Guess how much? Ten of your royal pence. Mad eh?"

"Haha, erm, that's great, Ethen. Look. I need to ask you something, and you know what? I don't even care about the answer because I know it's not true, so I know you're going to say no because that's the truth, right. I mean, you would never lie to me, would you?"

"Whoa! Slow down. What's happened and what do you want to ask me. I promise to answer truthfully, whatever the question."

"Sorry, I'm just upset… well, not upset, just numb really. I really need to know though, did you take pictures of my dad having sex with Colin?" I blurted out like some deranged idiot.

There was a long silence on the phone, but Ethen was there as I could hear chatting and cars nearby. "Uh," was all that finally came out of his mouth.

"Ethen?"

"Yes,"

"Yes, you did?" I asked, not comprehending.

"Yes. Are we over?"

I sighed. "No, of course we're not over. But, listen, I got to go. I'll call you later. There is so much to explain, but I'm not in a good way now to go through it."

"Babe, are you okay… are we okay?"

"Ethen, I got to go; I'll call you, okay?"

I hung up and dropped the phone on the sofa, staring at my dad.

"I am so sorry, Jake. Look, he was not involved, okay. I only realised he was... look; he didn't…."

"Dad, of course he was involved. He was there. I mean, I'm… I'm seriously wondering if the last few months have been a dream. This is the stuff of fucked up movies."

"Alan, I think you should find somewhere to stay while our divorce gets started. Then, we will put the house up for sale and divide the sale equally. But before that, for my own morbid curiously, why?"

"It just happened, Jen; we were drunk, doing coke, and it… it just got out of hand."

"Was Ethen doing coke, dad?"

"No, Jake! Jen, I know you're really angry right now, and this might not be the best time because I know I have done a terrible thing, but I have to know. Is Jake my son?"

"No, Alan, he's not. Despite what an absolute bastard Colin has been to all of us, he was telling the truth, and the details he gave, no matter how cruel they were described, were factually correct. You were always the problem, and I was too scared to tell you, so Trevor agreed to help me get pregnant. We had sex twice, and that was enough."

Her explanation was calm, controlled and almost robotic as she took one metaphorical knife after another and drove it through my dad's heart. No one was a winner here. Fuck, we were all losers, big time. I do believe if there was a game show where people could come up with ways to wreck a family so utterly, so comprehensively, so profoundly. This would win game of the year. The part of my brain that dealt with trauma was packed to the brim and overflowing into my raw emotions. I wanted to slap my mum, and I wanted to stab my dad, or at least hurt him. But why? We had all hurt each other in the end.

Dad broke down into heavy sobs as mum got up and left the room. I just sat there beside him, dazed, battered, sad and, yeah, numb.

"Jesus, dad," I whispered. I don't know whether to punch you or hug you. You'll always be my dad, okay."

"You… you knew about this?"

"Ahhh shit!" I said out loud. "Yeah, I met up with Trevor, and we talked. He was concerned about what you and mum were doing, I think... you know about Ethen? I hate to say it, dad, but Karma has done a number on you and mum, hasn't it."

"Do you feel satisfied with the result karma as inflicted? I mean, is this enough, Jake? Have I suffered enough?"

"Maybe, dad. But I think you tried to have your cake and eat it, and that's kind of gone wrong for you. Shit news about me though, eh?"

"You're talking in a tone that says you're not bothered, Jake. Are you?"

"Dad, come Friday, I am on that plane to be with the only honest person left on the planet in my world. You, mum, Cody, Colin, and I bet there are more. You've all lied to me, each other, and the result is this car crash. Right now, I cant forgive anyone. In fact, I can't even feel right now. That's a strange feeling, dad. Have you ever been so fucked over and fucked up by the people who are supposed to protect you, take care of you and respect you? Has that ever happened to the point where you cannot feel anything?"

Dad cleared his throat. "Uh, no, Jake, I can't say I have."

I looked at my father, his eyes bloodshot with tears, his sleeve soaked. He looked a mess. "You know before we went to America, life was... well, it was mundane, but at least things felt normal. And now? Well, I have found out my dad is another man. The man I thought was my dad gets fucked by other men. Mum has had two affairs, one of them went on for five years, the other produced me. I've had to deal with my parents making endless conspiracies up to try and keep me away from the person I love. I've had to see my dad get extorted for money, shown the graphic intercourse you were having with the participation of my boyfriend. Cody was even dobbing Ethen and me in to the so called Police, even if it was to no one important, but he still did it. So you've got to admit dad; Wouldn't you be on that flight?"

"Yeah, son, I would. I'm so sorry about all this. You must really hate us?"

I shook my head. "No, dad. Pity. That's all I have coming through right now."

I got up and left him on his own in the room while hunting down my mum, who was upstairs packing my dad's clothes.

"Jake, I can't talk right now. I'm swamped."

"I can see that. Look erm. I'm flying out to Egypt in a couple of days. I've had it here. I just thought I'd tell you."

Mum stopped, put the shirt down she was holding and sat on the bed. "Sweetheart, despite what your dad has done, I thought it would be best if you stay here with me. After all, you'll be the man of the house once your father has gone."

"No, mum, it seems you still don't understand. I am officially disowning you both as my parents. Not by law because I don't know how that works, but I'm leaving this place and getting far away from you both. What you and dad do from Friday is none of my business anymore. I am done, really and truly done. Colin's visit today, no matter how disgusting, no matter how brazen, has revealed a few things that really confirmed it for me. This family is rotten to the core, and you both need serious help. I'm sorry to say you have both left deep scars on me, and yes, Cody to some extent too. Bottom line? There is nothing for me any longer."

"Jake, please calm down and let me speak for a moment. I am still your mother, by blood, and you need to hear this."

I sat on the bed next to her, not feeling evil enough to not do so. Besides that would have been childish, and I was a man left by only a few months in law. "I will listen," I said, resting back on my hands."

"Look, Jake… sweetheart. The first thing I want to say is this. Yes, I accept this family has its skeletons, and believe me, they are more crammed in that closet than even I ever knew. But my point is this. Has your childhood ever been anything but secure, warm and loving? Of course, your dad and I are not perfect; we never claimed to be so. But what we have tried to do is shield you from the worst of life, and the worst of us. We have both done things that we kept from each other, let alone you, but I think if you ask your dad, he'll agree with me that everything we have done, built, invested in, has always revolved around you. So to hear you say such cruel things like you're cutting us off. Well, it makes me want to cry again. You're my baby boy… my only child. Without your love, I am obsolete."

A tear ran down her cheek as she almost whispered her last sentence. Me being me, obvious now felt guilty. I felt Ethen's voice come into my head telling me to forget her bullshit lies and run, but I couldn't. Instead, I found myself leaning into her for a hug as good memories flooded my mind of this woman, my mother, and me.

"I can't forgive you, but I understand. I understand because I think this situation has become what it is because of dad's job, not because you are bad people. Now the big question I have is how dad ended up on his back, front, side and…."

"Yes, Jake, I get the picture," mum said, shuddering. "ALAN!!! Come up here!"

I heard movement downstairs before footsteps slowly plodding up towards us. A sorry, emotional shell of a man I called my father stood in the doorway.

"Yes?" he whispered sheepishly.

"Close the door. I don't want Cody hearing this."

"Mum, the walls are paper-thin, and you can bet he has a glass pressed tight against the wall."

"Alan, you both owe us an explanation. Me as your wife, and Jake as your son. Not to mention the fact his partner was involved in whatever… well whatever that was in those pictures."

Dad slid down the door and placed his arms around his knees. "It happened once, I swear. It was up at the base. We'd said goodbye to a few of the lads who were leaving. Either being redeployed somewhere else or going home. It had been a long day, and Colin… Mike, should I say, asked me if I wanted to come by the office to have a whiskey. I'd said sure, why not?"

"All seems normal so far," Mum interjected. "So then what happened?"

"We were down about half a bottle when Ethen came by and handed Colin a small white bag. I remember Colin smiling vividly and patting Ethen on the arm. He said something like, 'I knew you'd come through for me.' Ethen left, I think for about an hour. Colin was getting drunk, and being honest, so was I, but we were having a good time talking about… well, things I can't reveal, you'll understand. But then he pulled out this white packet and started lining up coke with his credit card. He asked me if I wanted any. At first, I said no, but then...arrrgh, I dunno. Maybe it was the whiskey, but I ended up doing a few lines with him. And… and that's when things got a bit out of control."

Dad started to weep, and mum just gave him a scorned look as if to confirm how pathetic he looked right now. "Get to the point," she rattled out at him.

"He suddenly got up and announced how erm…." dad cleared his throat. "How horny he was and then jumped up and kissed me. I… I drew back in shock. I mean, I wasn't into it or anything, but the booze and the coke, it just… well it just got out of hand, and then he just asked me."

"Asked you?" I cut in.

"He asked to have sex with me."

"And your response?" mum asked. Dad looked at me, seriously.

"Jen, Don't you think we should discuss this in private. I really don't want to go into any more detail."

"I want to hear it. I deserve to know who you are," I said, pointing at him.

Dad sighed. "I said I would try it. He replied that everyone should 'try everything once'. I don't know why, but under the influence of drugs and drink, his statement seemed to put me at ease. So then he… he anally penetrated me." Dad sunk his head down and heaved a sob.

"And by the looks of those photos, this was not something that you tried for a few minutes and left in horror to come home to your wife?" Mum asked, getting angry.

"No, I let him continue."

"And the photos? Did you get off on being photographed?"

"Honey, I swear I didn't know he'd taken them until after."

"After what, he climaxed in you?" Mum spat, getting emotional. "And you? Did you?"

Dad looked up briefly "Yes," he whispered. Mum put her hand to her mouth, got up, and ran out of the room in tears.

"Nice one, dad!"

"Well, what did she want me to do, lie?"

"Yeah, dad, that's exactly what I think she wanted. But you told the truth. I don't know who to feel pleased for. The fact you dared to be honest or the fact she has resisted plunging a kitchen knife through your chest."

"Can you forgive me?"

"Not yet. So what is this, dad? You're forty-five. Was it just some phase, like teenagers have about their sexuality?"

"No… no, not that. It was just a… it was just a moment, rather than a phase. I still very much love your mum. I still find women attractive. I don't find men attractive."

"So, it was just the booze… the drugs?"

Dad nodded. "I can't believe I did it. I hope you can believe that. But, in the here and now, what I did I regret so much. Not because I'm married, have a teenage son and things like that. I regret it because of what it's done to me emotionally. I have so much regret inside. I hate myself."

"Dad, whether it was a man or a woman, you still had an affair."

"Well, son, I hate to be childish but at the risk of behaving like one, your mum had two affairs. One which lasted five years I hear, and one which produced you, as you've said. I might feel guilty about what I've done, but at least I can say my adultery was under the influence of a substance. What your mother has done was in the cold light of day and came with consequences."

"Is that what I am, a consequence of an affair?"

"Don't twist my words, Jake; you know what I mean."

Mum came back upstairs looking slightly more composed.

"I heard everything you said, Alan, and yes, I'm no angel, but I DIDN'T FUCK ANOTHER WOMAN!."

"No, you just fucked two men and had a fucking child with one of them."

"Only because your sperm was so fucking DEAD!"

"Whoa, time out," I shouted. Dividing my arms. "Mum, really cool for actually confirming you do swear like a trooper, but this is doing emotional damage to me."

"Sorry, Sweetheart, your dad and I should know better. I apologise."

"Just get help, both of you. And since you have both been rather unconventional in living your lives, I gather I will get both of your full support in going to Egypt to be with Ethen?"
Dad got up and came to sit with me on the bed, placing an arm around my shoulders.

"You know, in the hell that is my life right now, a moment of clarity hit me."

"And what's that?" I asked, looking at him.

"That you are a mature and sensible young man. A real man. A better man than me and a gentle soul. Because of that, you have my blessing to join Ethen in Egypt. But, we are still your parents, so it's also up to your mother."

I looked at mum. She just nodded. Perhaps towards what dad had said more than saying yes herself, but it was enough.

"Thank you. Trevor is going to run me to the Airport. Are you okay with that, dad?"

"Son, get to know Trevor more. He's a good guy. Perhaps one of the last real good guys left. In any case, he's a better man than me. Of course, I don't mind."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks later

Sitting in a bamboo chair on the balcony of my room at the Castle inn, I felt a hot breeze fluff my hair up as I gazed over towards the Nile banks. Ethen was below, pulling pints for thirsty customers, and I had almost settled into life here. Although it had only been two weeks, I was certain I was going to like this place. Sure it was hotter than an oven, and some of my creature comforts had gone, but this more 'straightforward'… less stressful way of life felt natural, rawer.

It felt like a chapter in my life was getting ready to end, and hopefully, a new, better one was just beginning. Colin was now awake and had been arrested. He was told he would be remanded and serve time until his trial, when he was well enough. Meanwhile, in America, Luke had told Cody that five police cars had rolled into the tiny village and were seen taking files and computers out of Colin's house. I'd let Ethen know and could have sworn he was smiling inwardly. Of course, he would be; he's now free. We both agreed to come back to America to watch his trial. So far Ethen nor I had been contacted by the Police. Perhaps we wouldn't. I hoped.

Mum was seeing a therapist to talk through her own problems and that of my dad's behaviour. Dad was back at work and sleeping on the sofa, which was my idea since they were both in hot water with each other, so why should one have to leave the family home.
Dad decided not to seek help but just put his infidelity down to a stupid mistake. In truth, I knew they loved each other too much to be without one another. For me, I'd just wait for the phone call… which I got daily from mum… to tell me they were working things out.

Cody wished me well, and we had one final fuck before I left. This time I didn't tell Ethen, and nor had he guessed. But my love for Cody actually went quite deep, so I didn't feel guilty. At the Airport, I called Cody, and he seemed in good spirits. I was glad it seemed like he'd genuinely moved on and forgiven me. It made my departure more bearable. I also heard he'd caught up with Kit again, who was studying to be a mechanic in college, hence his sudden disappearance. But I was made up Cody was back in touch with him and had the holiday with Luke a few short months away.

Ethen had found a way to possibly get us residence permits so we could stay here for longer than three months. He'd spoken to a guy he knew in America and in Ethen's words… 'It just took a few phone calls and a thousand bucks.' Speaking of money, as I left Trevor at the Airport, he gave me a cheque for twenty-five grand. Whether through guilt or not, I took the money of course. This boy needs to eat and live, right?

When we return to America to see Colin go down, Ethen said he would like to visit Ed and Luke. I asked when and he thought it would be good to do Christmas there. Mum, of course, was horrified as it would be her first Christmas without me, but I promised if we did go to Nevada, I would commit to spending the next one with her… and dad if they were still together.

So I guess the big news is the here and now, Me, Ethen, in Egypt. Wow! We wanted to do so much, but Ethen was insistent on keeping a low profile for now. I don't know what for, but he seemed a bit skittish for the first week I was here. We'd talked, of course. I wasn't going to end this story without telling you his explanation for the photos. It was Colin, obviously. A demand. So knowing what Colin was like, I forgave him; I had no choice. If we were going to survive, we both had to accept we would fuck up sometimes. He was the man I loved, and all that happened to him was the consequences of Colin. We've fucked, of course. Like rabbits, we're still on twice a day, but I know that won't last forever, so I'm just enjoying it while I can.

I'm sure Ethen has a lot to say, but that's for another story. Right now, I'm going to put my feet up and enjoy the last of the Egyptian sun as it drops below the trees on the west bank.

Bliss!

The End... maybe? Yeah, the end (for now)

A note from me
This journey has been SO much fun for me, and I am so grateful to all my readers who came along for the ride. I cracked up laughing so many times with your hilarious conspiracies, guesses and assumptions. Not to mention your frustrations with some of the characters. As a writer, having readers shouting at you rather than loving you is soooo much more satisfying because it means the book is ALIVE!. I want to say thank you so much for sticking with my books. I love the little hardcore fan base I have. But my main message is that without you guys, writing would be so dull. I'm glad you fell in love with Jake, Cody and Ethen as much as I did. This was truly great to write.
Special Thanks to Mark Baker who co-wrote the first ten chapters. We worked together so seamlessly! 
James