WL's Mainstream Gay Book Reviews - 56. The Weight of It All by N.R Walker (Modern Romance)

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/31997446-the-weight-of-it-all

So, for the new year, I am going to read a gay romance book about losing weight! Seriously, I can’t imagine a more fitting book for early January as many people are getting over the holiday weight gain and indulgent happily-ever-after Christmas literature. N.R. Walker is not a new author in my reading lists, I’ve read a few of her books in the past such as Galaxies and Oceans, which I reviewed, and Cronin Key, which I have not. In this book, she outdid herself and crafted a marvelous narrative about a middle-aged gay man trying to confront several personal challenges: a long-term relationship breakup, bad eating habits, and low self-esteem issues in a corporate environment. Her character spoke to me as someone, who like the main character is a ranking member of a finance department, recently having found myself alone again, and lost a lot of weight in an attempt to better myself. It’s a hard thing to be less worried about what other people think about you and not get stuck in a negative headspace. This is definitely not a fluff piece of romance between a gym trainer ad his client.

Lengthwise, the book is 254 pages long and 7 hours 44 minutes on audible. It is a deeply introspective story, where the stakes are small and the conflicts are purely interpersonal rather than groundbreaking or shocking.

Plot: Henry’s long-term live-in boyfriend left him, calling him out for being “old and fat” during his departure. Henry fears that his ex-lover is correct and decides to join a gym, hoping to better himself after a bout of depression and cheesecake. In his daily life, Henry is an Actuary at a corporation; he is quite good at his job, but he does not socialize much with others, except his administrative assistant. Self-conscious about his lack of verbal filters and his looks Henry, never thought he would make many friends or find a lover again, who would love him for who he was. That changed when Henry is assigned to Reed Henske, his muscular and athletic personal trainer. Through weeks of dieting and exercise, the two men connect. Reed and Henry went grocery shopping, went for long walks, and eventually discovered their mutual attraction to one another. Reed persuades Henry to aim for the goal of running a 5 Kilometer run, which Henry never thought he’d be able to achieve. Progress is made, Henry slowly begins to make more healthy choices with his eating habits. Even though he still enjoys cooking, he shares his baked goods with his colleagues at work and begins to socialize with them. He learns to be less self-conscious around other people. However, despite everything else going well in his life, Henry has one nagging fear, no matter how much weight he loses or exercises he does, Reed was too beautiful and good for him. Ultimately, there is a happy ending to this story.

Review: It’s a cute story about gay guys in real-world adult situations. We’ve read a lot of stories about love and relationships, some of us have written about them too. Yet, it’s rare to read stories where the characters are dealing with small-scale issues, mostly relegated to self-image and psychological fears.

Henry is an amazing neurotic gay character, who is like several of us just trying to find our footing in life, while unsure what the right thing is. I find the idea of a character afraid to speak his mind because he can’t control his enthusiasm to be something that I personally respect. As business professionals, we’re taught to keep our thoughts and words censored to etiquette and respectability, but we are human beings too with our own views and opinions. When all you hear is banal conversations about the same topics, it just reinforces that fear that your views and opinions may not interest anyone else. Then, there’s the aspect of appearance and self-image, presenting yourself in a certain way and under a certain behavior are norms that further hinder personal expression. Henry is a fully realized character, his issues are things some of us in similar situations can understand very well.

Reed as the romantic counterpoint is charming and caring for the gay boyfriend’s archetype. However, I kind of saw the twist coming about Reed being similar to Henry at one point in his life and seeing part o himself in Henry, but it may just be a fellow author plotting prerogative that led me down that path of estimations. Reed is a good character and his chemistry with Henry is charming, simple, and very understandable.

Weaknesses do exist in this novel; I think mostly from the arrangement of the plot mechanics. I wasn’t sure if the stuff in Henry’s office was meant to lead somewhere more than character openness, but it felt like Henry was being alluded to being raised to a higher position and there should have been more development there. Additionally, the low conflict structure of the story may make it more realistic, but at various points, it felt a bit monotonous as Henry had to explain himself or Reed appears to be holding off on sharing his past until the end. I think the latter especially is a trope of Romance, “lack of communication” causes the conflict that gets the couple to realize they love each other. It’s fine, but honestly after reading so many gay romance stories or Nicholas Sparks’ movie, who hasn’t learned the rules of not hiding the truth from someone you love.

Rating: 4 out of 5, it’s a good book and deserves a reading. Sure it has the normal romance story weaknesses, but it’s strength in relatability makes this story worth reading.