Sold Into Freedom - 22. Chapter 22

"Have you heard anything from Matthew, Andy?" Maeve asked over their dinner one evening. "You’ve been home a week now."

Andrew swallowed before he answered. "Not yet." His eyes met Maeve’s. "It was a nice trip. But I think I hoped too much for a different outcome."

"He didn’t feel the same?"

Andy looked up from his salmon. "I think he might, but it was too soon. I asked him to email me, but he hasn’t so far."

Oh, the poor lad. Poor, both of them. Maeve put down her knife and fork. "I’m sorry, Andy. He’s been through a lot, though, hasn’t he?"

"Yes, he has. I think he may want more, but he just can't right now. I think I may have ruined any chance by going there when I did." The author pushed the peas on his plate into a tight circle. His head dropped. "I didn’t think it through properly."

"You followed your heart." Maeve sighed. "He may be sitting there wanting to email, but something is holding him back. Why don’t you send him something, even one of those online cards or a joke email? It may be enough to break the ice."

"I thought I’d just wait for a little while. I don’t want to pressure him."

Maeve collected their plates. "I understand. I’ll leave that to you."

⸛

"It sounds as if you enjoyed Andy’s visit." Maria Flores sat listening to Matt and making notes as he spoke.

"I did. It was good to see him." Matthew stopped speaking abruptly.

Maria watched her client thinking. She knew he had more to say and remained silent.

"I. He, Andy, um—he wanted more…."

"What do you mean by that, Matt?"

Matthew rubbed his face and pushed his hands through his hair. "He wants a relationship. And every time he tried to get close. I–I couldn’t do what he wanted."

"Do you mean sex?"

"No, not even that. He just wanted to know if there could be more between us. I mean, he’s a nice guy. He’s done so much to help me. I don’t understand why I can’t even sit and talk to him about that."

"Are you afraid of him?"

"No, I like him. We had some nice times together and with my mother. Just…I don’t know." Matt looked at his doctor. "He suggested we take a sort of road trip together. Something where we’d be alone and in a place we’ve not been. It sounds wonderful. I’d love to do that."

"But?" Maria scribbled a note in her book.

"But I can’t even email him with a suggestion."

"Andy knows what you’ve been through to a point, right?"

"I guess. I haven’t told him much. I don’t want to talk about it."

"Do you want a relationship with Andy?"

Matthew rubbed his damp palms on his thighs. "Yeah, I’m attracted to him. I like him."

"Do you think telling him that and telling him what your fears and needs are would help?"

"Probably." Matt gazed at his therapist. "I guess I need to start there."

"I think so. You seem to trust him, so tell him what you need in order to go forward. Explain how you feel and what you need to feel safe. Just be honest."

Matt sighed and nodded. "Okay. This all makes sense."

Maria smiled and said, "But?"

"But, it’s so hard to do."

"It will be difficult, but think of what could come of it. You may end up with a very loving partner and a new life. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?"

Matt nodded. "Yes, it would be. I want that so badly but something is stopping me."

Maria waited patiently for a few moments and then said. "Do you know what that is?"

"Yes. It's fear."

"Of?"

"Of him not wanting used goods, not wanting to have to deal with my PTSD and depression. Fear that I’m too much trouble. Why would he want to deal with all of that? Why would anyone?" Matthew wrung and twisted his hands together. It wasn't easy to stay seated. "And my mother as well and her issues."

"Don’t you think that’s a little unfair?" Maria tapped her pencil against the notebook. "While you were with him, did you feel at all like he was uncomfortable with you?"

"No, not at all."

"Then don’t you think he should have the chance to decide?"

Matt stared at Maria and then whispered, "Yes."

The therapist smiled. It seems so simple to me, but it's like climbing a mountain barefoot to Matthew. "Trust Andrew. From what you’ve said about him, even if he’s not the one, he’s at the very least a friend. He won’t let you fall."

"Okay. I’ll talk to him. I’ll call him."

"Good." Maria added several lines to her notes and then closed the book. "Call if you need my support, okay?"

"Yeah, okay." Matthew stood up. "Thanks."

Maria joined him and walked him to the door of her office. "You can do this. And knowing the reality is much better than we often think."

The patient sighed deeply. "Okay. I’ll call him."

"Tell him what you need and listen to what he needs as well." Maria laid a hand on Matthew’s shoulder. "Trust him and yourself."

Matthew smiled. "I will. It’s the best thing." He stood taller, took a deep breath, and said, with false bravado, "I got this."

"You do. I’ll see you next week." Maria opened the door.

"Yep. Thanks, Doc." Matthew walked out and said goodbye to the receptionist.

Out in the hall, he panted, pressed against the wall. Do you, Matt? Do you got this? After several deep breaths and ignoring stares from a couple of passersby, Matthew went for his walk on the boardwalk. I have to try.

⸛

Several weeks passed, and both men put off contacting the other.

In Atlantic City, Gwen was getting concerned about her son.

"Mattie, honey, are you all right?" It was Sunday morning, and both of them were off for the day. "You've been so quiet. You'd tell me if something was wrong, wouldn't you?"

Matthew pushed the last of his French toast around his plate. "I’m fine."

"You know you can talk to me."

Matthew's eyes tore away from the cold, soggy breakfast food. "There’s nothing to say, Ma."

"You’ve been unhappy since Andy left. Have you talked to him?" Gwen pressed Matt for more information.

"No."

Gwen saw the unhappiness in Matt’s eyes. His frown gave away his frustration. "Have you called him?"

"No! Just leave it, please, Ma."

"Ignoring things will not fix anything." Gwen sipped her coffee and slowly lowered the mug to the table. "Did you break up?"

Matthew peered at his mother. "There is nothing to break off. We’re just friends."

"Then why are you this upset?"

"Jesus, Ma. I wasn’t upset until you started in with the third degree." Jesus, my mother is a goddamned pitbull. She cannot drop anything until it is dead.

Gwen watched her son. He looks like he’s ready to run. "You like Andy. Oh, Matt, don’t let him slip away without trying, not if you truly like him. I know it’s hard but it’s so worth it if things work. He’s a good man."

When Matt said nothing, Gwen reached for Matt's hand and held it in hers. "I know I'm not much of an example, but you've got only one life, and there's no point in being unhappy. Call him if you care about him. Give you and Andy a chance."

"I can't," he whispered. Matthew looked into his mother’s eyes. "I can’t call him." He returned his gaze to their entwined hands.

"Then get on a plane and go to see him. Just go."

Matt's head shot up. "What?"

"Go, Mattie. I’ll call your work and tell them something’s happened. An emergency." Gwen touched Matt’s face. "Fly over to Scotland and go see the man you’ve fallen in love with."

Thoughts and possibilities flew through Matt's brain. "I don't love him, Ma, but I do want to be closer to him." Conflicted, the young man rubbed his face. He gazed at his mother. "You're right. Okay, I’ll go and book a flight now."

Gwen smiled and looked at her boy sideways but remained silent.

An hour later, Matthew returned to where his mother sat. He chose the chair closest to her.

Gwen smiled at him. "Booked? When do you leave?"

"Yes, it’s booked. One way."

Her eyes widened, and Gwen was surprised at the unexpected tears. "One way? You're that sure?"

Matt sighed deeply. "Yes and no. I hope I’m right. But if I’m not, then I’m just gonna travel for a little while. I’ll come back, but it’ll be a while."

"What about work?" Gwen clung to her only child’s hand. "You’re leaving there?" You're leaving me.

"Yeah, I called and spoke to my boss. I don't just want to walk away with no explanation. She was great about it. I'm not leaving until next weekend." Matt looked down at his mom's hands. I never thought we’d end up close. Leaving her is hard. "I just want to spend some time with you before I go. I wondered if you’d like to come out with me. Help me find a gift for Maeve."

"Of course, I will." Gwen caught the look in her boy’s eyes. "Mattie, we’ll stay in touch. Maybe I could come visit? I expect an invitation to the wedding."

Matthew laughed. "Wedding? Oh, Ma." He grinned at her. "If that happens, I’d want you there right beside me."

Gwen smiled and said softly, "I like to hear you laughing. There’s too much sadness in you. I know. I know why there is…but look at what you’re doing. You may not see it. But Andy is mad about you. He already loves you. So, look at that and push the past away. Look at your wonderful, bright future. Let yourself be happy, Mattie."

"You’re right. So, get dressed. Let’s take a walk along the boardwalk and the beach." Smiling, Matthew helped his mother to her feet.

Gwen nodded happily. "Okay, let’s. I’ll be ready in twenty minutes!"

Shopping and lunch with his mom had been fun. They chose a kitschy mug and coaster for Maeve and added a book about the history of Atlantic City. They bought a T-shirt and a Greetings from Atlantic City tie for Andrew. The tie was decorated with playing cards and dice.

Together, they laughed over their choices.

They decided to Uber home after a long day of walking and shopping. Gwen looked over at her son and once again found herself in a foreign place of longing and love.

Matthew turned to his mom and smiled as if he'd felt it, too. "It'll be okay, Ma. I promise."

Rather than replying, Gwen moved closer and put her head on her son's shoulder. "I'm going to miss you."

⸛

"When you made this appointment, Matt, this was not the news I expected." Dr. Flores sat in her knee-length pencil skirt, her legs crossed. "I'd hoped you would decide to contact Andrew, but this is reckless."

Matthew let out a breath and stared at the floor between his feet. "I know it sounds like that. I chose this. I’m not running off on a whim." He lifted his head to meet his therapist’s eyes. "I need to follow what my dream tells me. It says Andy is my future."

The young man got to his feet, walked to the window, and looked at the world below. "Maybe that’s why I’m unhappy."

"What do you mean?"

Matt turned away from the window. "I mean, maybe I’m unhappy because I should be there, not here."

Maria shook her head. "Perhaps, but I’m worried. This is such a departure for a young man who couldn’t even talk to Andrew."

"Doc," said Matt as he returned to his seat on the sofa. "This feels right. I need to go and find out."

"I understand." The doctor opened her notepad and wrote a few lines. "Take my card with you. If you need to see someone over there, have them contact me, okay?" Maria held out the card she’d taken from her portfolio.

"Yeah, sure I will." Matt rose and accepted the card. He slipped it into his wallet. "I…I just want to say thank you for everything you’ve done for me. You’ve helped me so much. I need you to know that."

Maria smiled. "It’s been my pleasure. You worked hard to get to this point. I hope it works out for you, Matthew."

The patient and doctor shook hands. Maria said, "You’ll let me know how things go?"

"I will."

Once out in the hall, Matthew stopped and took a deep breath. "This is it, Matt," he whispered. "Now or never."

⸛

On the morning of his leaving, Matt and Gwen ate breakfast together. The silence and sadness filled the room. Gwen kept her head down so Matthew would not see the tears in her eyes.

They sat across from each other, saying nothing and not eating.

"Ma. I just want to say, I’m glad I came home and stayed with you." After laying his fork on the side of the plate, he reached for his mom’s hand. "It’s been good, you know?"

When Gwen lifted her head, tears fell. "I’m glad too. I was afraid that it wouldn’t work out, but it has. And now you’re leaving and…and I’m going to miss you so badly, Mattie."

"Ma, I promise I’ll call you and stuff. I promise." Matthew squeezed his mother’s hand harder. "And you need to come and visit. You’ll love it out there. It’s so open, raw and wild."

"I’d like to." Gwen smiled at her son. "I know I’m not the best mother. I never wanted kids, but your dad always did. I wanted to make him happy. I tried to do the right things for you after he died."

"I know, Ma. We had our issues here and there, but we’re here now. Dad would be proud of what you’ve done."

"He would be proud of you too, Mattie. He always was." Gwen let her tears fall.

"Don’t cry, Ma, please. Thanks for saying that. I miss Dad too." Matthew got up and circled the table to hug his mother.

Gwen got to her feet and threw her arms around her son. "Have a wonderful trip, and tell Andrew…well, I couldn't ask for a better partner for you."

Matthew held his mom. "I will, I promise. And I’ll call you as soon as I can."

"Okay, honey." Gwen collected the dishes, took them, and placed them on the kitchen counter. She glanced at the wall clock. "Your cab will be here in ten minutes." She spun around to look at Matthew.

"I’m ready, Ma. The room is tidy, and I cleaned the bathroom. The sheets are in the laundry…sorry I didn’t get to wash them."

Gwen waved her hands. "That doesn’t matter. I’ll look after them."

Matt moved to the small hallway and opened the inside door. He pulled on his jacket as he watched for the Uber he’d ordered.

Gwen moved next to him and slipped her arm through his. "I will miss you, Mattie."

"I’m going to miss you too. I promise to keep in touch." Matt kissed his mother’s cheek. Leaving you again is so much harder than I ever thought it would be. "Thank you for taking me in. I know we had ups and downs, but there have been more ups in the last few months. I'm so glad we had this time, Ma."

"So am I, Mattie."

The Uber rolled to a stop in front of the house. Matthew waved at the driver and then turned to his mom. "Okay. This is it. I promise I will call you once I’m in my hotel in Edinburgh. Okay? You know where I’m staying as well."

Gwen nodded as words failed her. She grabbed Matt once more and kissed his cheek. "I love you, Mattie."

Matt stopped and smiled gently at his mother. "I know you do. I love you as well."

With courage she didn’t think she had, Gwen said, "Okay. Get going. You don’t want to be late."

Matthew picked up his suitcase and backpack. Once more, he kissed his mother. "Bye, Ma." Then he pushed the screen door open and walked down the stairs to the car.

Gwen watched Matthew speak to the driver and put his suitcase in the trunk. He then climbed into the car after a final wave. She waved back and whispered, "Bye, Mattie. Bye, Son."

⸛

"And the purpose of your visit to Scotland, sir?" The customs officer asked Matthew.

"First, I’m going to visit Edinburgh on my own and do some tourist things. Then I have a friend who lives in the Outer Hebrides that I’m going to visit."

"Where in the Outer Hebrides are you going exactly?" The official looked through Matthew’s passport.

"First to Stornoway Airport, and from there, I need a water taxi to take me to Windy Island. It belongs to Andrew MacCabe."

"I see. You appear nervous, Mr—" the agent said, flipping to the front of the document he held. "Mr. Foster?"

"Yeah, I am. Andy doesn’t know I’m here. I want to surprise him and Maeve. If you’re going to check, is there some way you can do it without telling him?"

The customs officer smiled. "Don’t worry. Here’s your passport. Welcome to Scotland, Mr. Foster."

"Thanks very much." Matt accepted the document and put it in his carry-on bag. "Have a good day."

"You too." The agent smiled again and then looked at the line. "Next, please."

Matthew walked on until he was out of Arrivals. He then went on to hunt for a taxi. He followed the signs to the taxi rank.

"Where to?" The driver asked as he dropped his cigarette. He stepped on it to ensure it went out.

"I’m going to Market Street, to the Motel One." Matthew checked his phone for the details.

"I know it. The Royal. Nice little place." The driver opened the rear door for his passenger.

"Thanks." Matthew climbed in and settled himself as the door closed.

A few moments later, the driver did the same, pulling his seat belt over and clicking it into place. He started the engine and pulled away from the curb. "You here on vacation?"

Matthew looked up and smiled. "Yeah. I’m going to spend a few days in the city and then I’m heading to the Outer Hebrides to visit a friend who lives there."

"That’ll be nice. It's a wee bit too wild out there for me. I've been to Lewis, but I'm not into that kinda wild." The driver glanced at his passenger through the rear-view mirror and grinned before asking, "Have you been to Edinburgh before?"

"Once for a very short visit. I thought I’d spend a few days here on my own this time. I’d like to explore a bit."

"Best way, I think. On your own, I mean." The driver looked at his passenger again. "There’s lots of great places to see depending on what you’re into. Good night life, too. Your hotel will have lots of information."

"Thank you. I’m looking forward to it."

The driver and Matt discussed what sites were good to visit in the city, recommendations for places to eat, and some friendly and quiet clubs.

"Just don’t hang around until closing. Leave earlier to avoid the drunk bastards and the police. It can get out of hand sometimes at closing. Well, most times."

"I'll make sure I do. Thanks for the advice," Matt said as the taxi stopped before his destination. He pulled his wallet from his coat pocket and handed the fare and a generous tip. "Thanks very much for the pleasant ride."

"No problem. Have a great holiday."

Matt opened the door and stepped out. "Thanks." He bent and pulled his bag out, closed the door, and watched the cab pull away.

I’m here. Matt smiled and looked around at his surroundings briefly before pulling open the motel’s door.

Once checked in, Matthew made his way to his room on the second floor. It was a small but bright room with cream-coloured walls and large windows. Bright blue draperies, a blue plaid headboard, and cushions cheered the room. After hanging his shirts and trousers and putting his few underclothes, socks, and T-shirts away, Matt sat in the little nook to look at brochures left on the small round table.

"What should I get up to?" Matt looked at these walking tours. "Hmm, at least one of these, I think. That vault tour looks interesting."

Matt sighed. "Geez, I feel so anxious." He stood up and walked around the room. “I'll call Ma like I promised and then have a shower. I'll eat and then come back and chill out. Maybe book a walking tour for tomorrow. That’ll let me get a feel for the place."

After speaking with his mother, the young man showered and then stood in a towel while deciding what to wear. He dressed in jeans, a T-shirt, and a light denim button-down shirt. Sitting on the bed, he put on his waterproof walking boots. "Okay." Matt stood up and grabbed his jacket, room key, and wallet. "Ready. I'll ask downstairs where a good place to eat is nearby."

In the lobby, Matt walked to the front desk. "Hi."

"Good evenin’, sir. How’s your room?" The clerk looked up from her keyboard.

"Great. Thanks. I’m just wondering if you can recommend a casual place to eat? Like for fish and chips?"

"Oh, aye. The Malt Shovel Inn is just across the way and down a few steps. They serve some nice food, and it's a pub, so you can get a drink if you want one." The clerk smiled. "We have a bar here but only serve breakfast and snacks."

"Perfect. Thank you." Matt smiled. "See you later."

"Aye, sir. Enjoy."

The Malt Shovel Inn was as promised. Warm and friendly, the food was just what Matt had wanted. He walked back to the motel, full and now starting to feel the effects of a long day of international travel. "Time to just get into bed, watch a bit of television and then pass out, I think."

The clerk Matt had spoken to earlier greeted him. "Did ya find the Malt Shovel okay?"

"I did, thanks. It’s a nice place and the food was great." Matthew smiled. "Thanks for the recommendation. Goodnight."

"G’night, sir."

After a good night's sleep and breakfast in the bar downstairs, Matthew took a walking tour. Over the next two days, he climbed to Arthur's Seat and took a night tour of the city's ghostly places. He enjoyed the freedom, the people he met, and the dreamless sleep his exertions brought. But the true reason for his being there grew more assertive in his mind, and he was having more and more trouble pushing it away. He thought about Andrew and Maeve constantly. Over his early breakfast on the hotel’s main floor, he decided it was time.

Matt sipped his coffee as he looked at the flight information. He could get a late afternoon flight from Edinburgh to Stornoway. From there I can grab a water taxi to the island. He picked up the last piece of the croissant he’d eaten and popped it into his mouth. As he chewed, he entered his details to make the flight reservation. Okay. That’s done.

After breakfast, Matt stopped to inform the front desk of his departure that morning. Then, he went to the room to pack, returning once more to the lobby.

"We hope you’ll stay with us again, Mr. Foster." The clerk finished up the bill and gave Matthew the receipt.

Matt smiled. "It was great, honestly. I’ve enjoyed my time here."

"I’m glad to hear that. Are you going back to the States?"

"No. I’m heading over to see a friend who lives on an island in the Outer Hebrides."

The clerk’s eyes widened. "Oh, wow. That’ll be an experience. They have some wild weather out there."

"They do." Matthew grinned. "I’ve been before. I’m prepared." He looked at his phone. "And I better get moving. My ride’s nearly here and I have a plane to catch. Thanks again."

"Have a good flight, Mr. Foster. Take care."

After a final grin, Matt grabbed his bag and made his way out of the hotel. The Uber pulled up just as he'd set his bag down to wait.

The driver said, "You, Matt?"

"I am." Matt tossed his bag into the back and climbed in after it. "Thanks."

"No worries. Airport … next stop."

⸛

The flight to Stornoway was rough as bad weather was closing in. The rising winds pushed the commuter plane, and turbulence kept passengers in their seats. The seatbelt sign was only off once they'd landed safely and stopped.

After disembarking, Matt waited impatiently for his luggage. Once it was in hand, he walked to the taxi rank and waited for his turn. When he was first in line, he explained where he wanted to go to the driver.

"Aye, I’ll take ya to the docks. Weather is some shyte today."

Matthew grinned as he got in. "Par for the course. It was like this the first time I got here as well."

The driver glanced at his passenger through the rear-view mirror. "Lucky you."

⸛

"I hope the power holds." Maeve closed the oven door after putting in a tray of scones.

Andrew sat at the kitchen table and looked at a batch of cooling, fresh raisin scones. "I don’t suppose I could have one of those?"

Laughing, Maeve put several warm buns on a plate and placed them on the table. "Tea's ready. These'll go down a treat."

"They will."

The house creaked as the wind increased. Andy picked up the teapot and poured the hot, steaming liquid into Maeve's cup and then into his own. "I wonder if I'll ever get used to this weather?"

"I wonder why you stay on this island sometimes, Andy." Maeve sat down with her boss. "You could live on the mainland."

"Aye. I could." He smiled at his housekeeper. "But this place grabs your heart I think, Maeve. It won’t let go."

The older woman nodded. "That’s the truth and then some."

The rain had started, and it sounded like pebbles hitting the windows.

"Geez, I don’t want to be out in this." Andrew picked up his mug and sipped. "I topped up the generator today, so we should be all right."

"Well, supper is just soup and sandwiches. We can always warm the soup over the fire if needs be."

"We’ll need a fire tonight to keep out the damp," Andy said, biting into a fresh, warm scone. "Oh, God, Maeve, these are amazing."

"I’m glad." Maeve set her mug down. "I think–"

The conversation stopped as there was a knock on the door.

The pair looked at each other wide-eyed.

Maeve got to her feet. "Did you hear that?"

"Yes." Andrew rose also. "I’ll come with you. Can’t be good news." Oh my God, my parents? Has something happened? No, they’d call or text.

Maeve pulled open the door and saw the figure standing there. She turned to look at Andrew, who stood open-mouthed.

Coming to her senses first, Maeve reached for the soaking figure and pulled him into her arms. "Matthew! Come in, come here."

Maeve helped Matthew out of his dripping raincoat. He removed his sopping shoes and left them in the mud room to dry.

"Wha-? M-Matthew?" Andrew stuttered. "I can't believe you're here. Why didn't you let me know?"

"It's stupid, but I couldn't. I only knew that I had to come." Matt smiled as he shivered.

Noticing Matthew was shaking, Andrew said, "Let's get you dry and warm. Then we can talk."

Maeve hovered nearby and said, "Andy, would you take his case up? I'll go up in a few minutes to make the bed."

"Yes, of course." Andrew retrieved the wet suitcase.

Andrew took Matthew's things to the room Matt had previously occupied. He turned on the small electric fire to warm up the bedroom. Upon returning to the first floor, he found Maeve gently maneuvering Matthew to the sofa in front of the fire.

"Now sit here, and I’ll bring some hot tea and a snack." The housekeeper smiled at the younger man. "I’m so happy you’ve come back…come back—"

"Home?" Matthew’s eyes held Maeve’s.

She smiled and replied, "Aye, Matthew. Home. I'll be right back." Leaving Matthew and entering the hall, Maeve noticed Andrew on the staircase. She motioned to him to follow.

Once in the kitchen, Maeve set about preparing tea and several sandwiches. "He looks frozen and starved."

Andrew sat down at the table.

"Are you not going to go to him?" the housekeeper asked, turning away from buttering bread. "He’s come all this way, Andy."

I should go. I should, but I can't. What if this is all wrong? After a breath, Andrew looked at his Maeve. What if it’s not? "Yes. Give us a few minutes, please."

"Of course I will." Maeve watched Andy amble toward the living room.

Andy opened the wooden doors and stepped into the now-warm room. The fire danced like the devil in the hearth. Matthew sat in front of it. He was hunched forward, his back rounded, and his elbows rested on his thighs.

"Matthew."

Matt whirled around. He scrambled to his feet, the fireplace now behind him. "Andy." He shoved his hands into his pockets. "I’m sorry. I guess I should have called you or something. I didn’t because I was scared." A look of fear crossed his face. "If this is bad, I can just go. I don’t—."

"It’s okay, Matt." Andy walked farther into the room, around the sofa, and stopped before Matthew. He opened his arms, silently asking Matthew to move into them.

Clear as day, Matthew saw the figure from his dream. Arms open and waiting.

Matthew answered Andrew's unspoken request by accepting the embrace. They stood pressed against each other, arms wrapped and holding on tightly. Their eyes closed as their bodies accepted the closeness, warmth, familiarity, and longed-for scent of each other.

Neither let go.

"I’ve missed you so much, Mattie." Andrew whispered into Matthew’s neck. "You being here is more than okay. It’s what I wanted for a long time."

"Me too."

Finally, Andrew gently withdrew. "We need to talk." Taking Mattie’s hand, he sat down, drawing the other man with him.

"I know." Matthew held onto Andy's hand. "I-I need to tell you…" He paused for a moment. "Sorry."

"It's okay, just say it."

Matthew took a deep breath. "I like you, but I'm nowhere near ready for more. I want one I think—a relationship I mean, but I can't just yet." He withdrew his hand and rubbed his knees. "Can you…would you wait?"

Andy licked his lips and sat back. "Can we see each other? Will you stay here?"

"Is that okay? I feel like I should be here."

"Yes, it's fine." Andy smiled. "I'm not going to pressure you. You can stay in your room until you feel different if you ever do."

Mathew sought Andrew's eyes. "I'm pretty sure I will feel different."

"Okay. We'll figure it out." Andy stood, smiled, and offered his hand to Matt, who took it. "You need to just relax. Don't worry. We have time. But first, we better eat and have some tea with Maeve, or she’ll explode."

Matthew stared for a moment and then began to laugh. "I’ll go and help her. She’s probably got food for a thousand out there."

"Probably. She thinks you’re too thin. She’s got plans for you."

Still chuckling, Mattie stood and took steps to the door, but Andrew drew him back. "One sec."

Once more, Andy embraced Matthew. His hands moved to Mattie's face, and he gazed into Matt's eyes. Then his lips were on Matt's. It was soft and gentle, a kiss of longing, discovery, and promises. Still holding Matt, he whispered, "Is this okay? Sometimes?"

Matt smiled and held on to Andrew, leaning into him. He closed his eyes. "Yeah. That's very okay."

Happiness streaked through Andrew, and he beamed as he held Matthew again at arm's length. "Okay, we'd better go and help Maeve."

With his arm around Andy’s waist, Matthew nodded. They walked to the double doors and opened them.

From the kitchen, Maeve saw the doors open. Smiling at the new couple, she turned to fill the teapot.

⸛

Epilogue

"Well, it’s sold."

Matthew looked up from his desk and let out a tiny sigh. "I guess it had to happen."

"It's for the best. Neither of us is getting younger, and I'm over the young, soulful author living alone on a wild, windy island thing." Andrew smiled at his partner.

"You’ve not been that lonely author for the past seven years!" Matthew grinned. "Speak for yourself about the getting old thing. I’m not that old, thank you!"

"Good thing, since there’s a lot of packing to be done."

"Don’t remind me." Matthew sighed. "Can’t we hire people to do that? We can afford it, Andy."

Andrew stood behind Matt and placed his hands on Matt’s shoulders. "Hmmm, yes, I suppose so. There are some things I’d rather do myself, though. And come to think of it, some I’d rather not, like the kitchen."

"Oh, yeah, the kitchen. It’s never been the same since Maeve left."

It was Andrew’s turn to sigh. "No. I miss her."

"We’ll be closer to her once we move to Skye." Matthew reached up to touch Andy's hand. "She had to retire sooner or later. At least she's with her sister."

Andrew laughed softly. "Yeah. She traded one island for another."

"Well, it’s not quite the same thing. I like Skye, it’s pretty and it has people and places to go. And we can see her more often once we're over there."

"True." Andrew took in a lungful of air and blew it out. He looked at his watch. "We'll be closer to Mom and Dad as well."

Matt grinned. "Right and Ma can come and visit. When I spoke to her the other day she said on this trip she wants to go to the Shetlands and see the ponies."

"Oh my lord." Andrew laughed. "What next?" The author turned quiet for a moment. He moved from behind his husband and leaned on the desk in front of him. "You know, next Christmas. I want to fill the house with people. Your mom and Lawrence, my parents, Esme, Derrick and little Jason. What do you think?"

Matt nodded and reached for Andy's hand. "I think that's a wonderful idea. It'll be busy, but wonderful."

Andrew squeezed and released Matt's hand. He rose and turned around to take in the beautiful room that was now their shared office. "I'm gonna miss this place though."

"Me too. A lot of stuff happened here."

"It did. But the memories are in our heads. Not the walls." Andrew took a deep breath. "Time to stop moping. New adventures await us."

Matthew swiveled in his chair to face Andrew. "You want to go somewhere?"

"Yeah. Somewhere hot. Different. I need some inspiration." Andrew squatted in front of Matt, leaning on his knees. "How do you feel about going back to Turkey?"

"I don't know. Since Ahmet asked me not to write any longer—" Matthew blinked. My staying in touch was too hard for him and his family. "But we could…I was supposed to take a tour with Yusef but never got to." Matt gazed at Andrew. "You’re serious?"

"Yes. It would be an adventure."

"It’s not so safe there now."

"No, I suppose not." The author paused for a moment. "What about Egypt and then Jordan?"

Matt grinned. "The Pyramids and the temples. I’d love that. Petra and the Dead Sea in Jordan. I’d love to sketch there."

"So, let's make it happen. Let's pack, settle in the new house, and then travel." Andrew stood up and pulled Matthew up too. "I want to do this with you. Travel and explore."

"What about writing?"

Andrew smiled. "Yeah, well, that’s why the inspiration. Maybe a mystery with the Valley of the Kings and the Dead Sea as the backdrop."

"Sounds good. I could do the cover." Matthew grinned. "I’ve been thinking that maybe I’d try my hand at writing something. I was thinking about my story."

"I was hoping you would." Andrew nodded. "I think you should. What would you call it?"

Matthew pursed his lips and cocked his head. "Maybe, Kidnapped?"

"I think that would work as a working title, but it sounds like you were held for ransom."

"Hmm. Yeah, you're right. Shanghaied?"

Andrew blew out a breath. "No. You weren't put to work on a freighter."

The pair laughed.

"I know. How about Sold Into Freedom?" Matthew's eyes widened, as did his smile.

"That one's worth considering. Let me know if I can help."

"I’m sure I’ll need some help." Matthew slipped his arms around Andrew. "And I’m hoping you’ll join me upstairs for a while. There’s champagne to celebrate the sale of the island."

"Now that’s an offer I’ll never refuse."

They kissed, arms around each other, and then a serene silence enveloped them as they looked out at the island.

Andrew's gaze fell upon the sketch on Matthew's desk. Two figures were etched on the page. One, a shadowy and enigmatic figure, arms outstretched in a welcoming gesture, starkly contrasted with the other, a man battling against the wind. Their fingers brushed against each other as they stood beside the forever-bent trees.

The ⸛ End