Bleeding Hearts - 14. Chapter 14

As tired as I was, the moment my head hit the pillow all I could think about was what Judy had said on the porch.

Someone was after me, though she couldn’t tell me who. She’d also said he was closer than I thought, which was really saying something since I already knew the killer recognized me. Unless the person who was after me and the killer weren’t one and the same.

That thought sent a chill down my spine.

There was also the question of how did Judy know all those things? Was she really a psychic? She’d grown up with a gay brother, so maybe she just knew what signs to look for. That might explain how she knew I was gay, but not the rest. My mind just kept going around in circles.

It took me forever to fall asleep. When I woke up the next morning, Judy’s prophecy—if that’s what it was—immediately popped into my head. It totally distracted me all morning at school as well. At one point, I paid enough attention to realize that I had no idea what we were talking about, which would be a bad thing come test time, then I just spaced out again.

I was still in my own little world at lunch when I realized someone had sat down next to me. Somehow, I wasn’t surprised to see the only member of Gilly’s family besides her mother who hadn’t cornered me the night before.

I sighed with resignation. “Hello, Jake.”

“Hi, Killian. Can I talk to you for a few minutes?” His dark blonde hair was tucked behind his ears.

“Sure, why not.”

“You were friends with Seth, right?”

That was about the last thing I expected him to say. I debated how to answer him, but I figured there was no use denying it. The whole school knew I had been friends with Seth.

“Uh, yeah, I guess you could say that.”

“I heard you’re even living with his dad now.”

“Um...” I wondered how he knew where I lived but realized that Zack and Jesse must have spread that around, too. They’d been to the house, so they certainly knew, and I assumed Asher had told them at some point. Did I admit it to Jake, though? Gilly had told me not to mention around her father that I was living with Adam, but what about her twin? I finally decided that if she hadn’t wanted me to tell him, she should have mentioned him.

“Yeah, I am.”

He looked around the tables near us, then leaned in closer to me. “Wasn’t Seth gay?”

Seth had been very open about his sexuality, and I wasn’t about to force him into the closet now that he was dead.

“Yes.”

“Is it true that his dad is, too?”

That was a little different. However, by that point, I was curious to see where these questions were leading.

“Yeah.”

“Then, um...are you?”

I mentally slapped myself. I should have seen that coming. These were dangerous waters. What was I supposed to say? I decided to go with a non-answer.

“Um, hello? I’m dating your sister.”

“Yeah, I know, but that’s not what I asked.”

I bit my lip. Obviously, I had underestimated him. He was sharper than he appeared.

“Look, Jake, do you think we could talk about this later?” I threw a meaningful glance at the tables full of people nearby.

“Oh. Yeah, sure.” He shrugged. “Can I ask you one more question, though?”

I was hesitant but agreed.

He leaned in again and lowered his voice even more. “Do you really think Seth was killed in a mugging? I mean, you were there, but that just doesn’t feel right to me.”

I was so shocked I couldn’t make my voice work. After several seconds of slack-jawed silence, I recovered my ability to speak. “What do you mean?”

“Doesn’t it seem strange that the only openly gay student at our high school gets mugged and killed two weeks after school starts? Call me suspicious, but that sounds awfully fishy to me, especially since he was treated so badly here.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. For a second, I even wondered if he was setting me up. Red flags were going up everywhere, reminding me of Judy’s words: “Watch your step carefully.” I decided it was very good advice for that situation.

“Why does it matter to you?” I sounded more defensive than I’d intended.

Jake looked around again. He seemed as paranoid as I felt, which I found very interesting. “You’re right. Let’s just talk about it later, okay? When do you want to meet?”

“How about after school? You can meet me at my car. Do you know what I drive?”

“Yeah, I think Todd parked next to you this morning. I’ll meet you there but wait for me. I have to talk to Mr. Johnson after school for a few minutes about an assignment that’s late. I’ll see you then.”

“Okay,” I said, wondering what strange new twist my life was about to take. “See you then.”

 

 

Gilly found me after school, and we walked out to the parking lot together. We leaned against my car and talked while we waited for Todd and Jake. Neither of us mentioned the kiss from the night before. We seemed to be studiously avoiding that topic by mutual consent. Other kids were straggling out of the building, and many of them stopped to say hi to us. I still wasn’t sure how I felt about being part of the school’s newest “It” couple.

“So how for-real is your Aunt Judy?” I asked after an awkward lull in the conversation.

“Who knows? Why? Did she get to you last night while I was gone?” Gilly tucked a flyaway strand of hair behind her ear. I nodded, and she went on, “We don’t really take her all that seriously, but there have been some spooky coincidences.”

“Like what?”

“Well, by far the freakiest one happened a few Christmases ago. Aunt Judy was really emotional all day, and when we went over to Uncle Rick’s house, he asked what was going on and she burst into tears. She said she just had this overwhelming feeling that it was the last time all her siblings would be together for the holidays. Everybody told her she was being silly, but then a few months later, Uncle Rick disappeared. When they finally found him, we all remembered what Aunt Judy had said.”

I felt the hairs on my arms stand up again. “Oh wow. So she really is a psychic.”

Gilly shrugged. “That sounds so silly. It’s not like she has a crystal ball. She says she just sees stuff that other people miss, that she’s more sensitive.” She gave me an appraising look. “Why? What did she say to you?”

“It’s nothing, really.”

“When did she talk to you?”

“While you were inside.”

“She and Todd both?”

“And your dad.”

“Oh, no! I’m so sorry. Is my family stalking you?”

We both laughed, though mine was a little more uncomfortable. “Actually, maybe,” I said just as Jake came running toward us.

“Speaking of stalkers, here’s another one,” I quipped.

“What? Why am I a stalker?” Jake asked, confused.

Todd walked up just then. “Because you’re a sick little pervert.” He grinned as he grabbed Jake in a headlock, making him struggle for a minute before releasing him.

Jake rubbed his neck as if it hurt. “Knock it off, Todd, or I’ll tell everyone about the magazines under your bed.”

Todd shot him a strange look, as if unsure whether Jake was serious. Apparently satisfied he wasn’t, Todd asked, “Are you two brats ready?”

“I’m going to Killian’s. He’ll drive me home later,” Jake said, shifting his backpack from one shoulder to the other.

Gilly turned to me with surprise. I’m sure my expression mirrored hers. I’d thought Jake and I were just talking. He hadn’t mentioned anything about going home with me.

Todd regarded me searchingly for a moment, then shrugged. “Suit yourself. Gilly, you ready?”

“Yeah, I’m ready.” Then she leaned over and kissed me hard on the lips. “Have to keep up appearances,” she whispered in my ear and, with a lingering look at me, got into her brother’s car.

After they had driven off, Jake and I climbed into my car.

“So, when did the plans change?” I asked as I buckled my seatbelt.

“Sorry. I just wanted to go someplace where we can talk in private. I figured your house would be best.”

“What’s all this cloak-and-dagger business about, Jake?” I started the car and pulled out.

“I just need to talk to you about some stuff, and I don’t want to be overheard. Somebody’s always listening in my house.”

“So I’ve noticed. What stuff do you want to talk about? Seth?”

“Partly.”

“Jake, we’re in a moving car, and as far as I know there’s no one in the back seat. I think it’s safe to talk.”

“Okay.” He took a deep breath. “It’s just that this isn’t easy for me. I’ve never told anybody this before.”

“Told anybody what?” I shouted in exasperation.

“I’m gay!” he shouted back.

I almost drove off the road. Once I had the car back under control, I looked over at him.

“Or maybe bi. I don’t know.” He was slumped in the seat, staring at his hands in his lap. He looked as if he might start bawling at any second. That was the last thing I wanted. I knew how much courage it took to come out to somebody.

“It’s okay,” I said softly. “Your secret is safe with me. I’m not going to out you or anything.”

He looked up hopefully. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool.” He grinned. “I figured you were safe since you were nice to Seth and all. I mean, I guess it’s not really a secret secret. Some of my friends know. They’re chill. My family can’t know, though.”

“Yeah, I get that.” After meeting his family, I definitely got that.

“But you’re okay with it?”

“Yeah.” I made a split-second decision. “You wanna know why?”

“Yeah?”

“Because I’m gay, too.”

“I knew it!” he crowed. “I figured when you started hanging out with Seth, but then I was confused when you started dating Gilly...”

“Gilly and I are just friends.”

“But that kiss she just laid on you...”

“It’s kind of like a cover, so no one knows I’m gay for right now. Not that I’m ashamed of it or anything. I just think it’s probably safer for me right now if no one knows. Plus, when I do come out, I want it to be on my terms, you know?”

“Yeah. That makes sense. So were you and Seth...?”

“We were just friends. He’s the one who helped me realize that I’m gay. Gilly knows, by the way. She asked me, and I admitted it. She’s even the one who offered to be my beard.”

“Beard?”

“My fake girlfriend so people think I’m straight.”

“So you think you’re in danger?”

“Yeah. I think I could be. Plus, I think more people will talk to me about Seth if they don’t know I’m gay.”

“So you do think it was more than just a mugging. I mean, why else would you think you’re in danger for being gay or want to ask people about Seth?”

“You know, you’re a lot smarter than you let on,” I commented dryly.

“I’m not sure if I should take that as a compliment or not.” He gave me an adorable grin.

At the sight of his dimples, I almost ran off the road again. “Take it as a compliment.” I could feel my cheeks heating up.

Even without looking at him, I knew he was still grinning.

“Okay, but only on one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“You keep your eyes on the road while you’re driving.”

We burst out laughing. Before I knew it, I was pulling into the driveway. “Well, this is where I live now.”

“This is a really cool place.” He flashed me another one of those killer smiles.

I felt as if I were melting. “It’s not quite your house.”

“Our house is too big. It’s like living in a museum. It’s been in my dad’s family for years. All our money is family money. This is so much cooler. I’d love to live on the beach. I could just walk out my back door and go surfing.”

“I wish I surfed,” I said as we climbed out of the car.

“I could teach you,” Jake offered eagerly.

“Like you taught me how to play that video game?”

We laughed and went inside. I introduced Jake and Adam, who went back to work on his computer while Jake and I wandered up to my room to talk.

As we settled at opposite ends of the bed, I returned to our earlier conversation. “So you think Seth was murdered, too?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, it’s the only thing that makes sense to me. I really don’t understand why the police aren’t doing more.”

“We believe it was more than just a mugging, too. Adam thinks maybe the police are purposefully ignoring important information.”

“Like what?”

“There were letters in Seth’s locker. The police dismissed them as dumb pranks, but they could mean the killer goes to our school—or at least has a contact there who knows something. Did you have any classes with Seth?”

“No, but I saw him a lot in the halls and stuff. I guess I kind of watched for him. He was the only out gay guy I knew. And then you started talking to him at school and stuff, so I started wondering...”

“Did you ever see him with anyone else?”

“Mostly just you.”

“But was there anybody else?”

He thought for a minute, then spoke slowly, as if carefully considering each word. “This is hard. Not just hard to remember who I saw him with, but also because I feel like I’m, like, casting suspicion on anyone I name.” He sighed. “But I guess if there’s even the smallest chance any of them did it...” He gave an exaggerated shudder. “Yeah, anyway, I saw him talking to Zack Phillips, Jesse O’Donnell and Asher Davis once—or they were talking to him, to be exact, kind of surrounding him. Seth didn’t look very happy, but you know how Zack and Jesse are. Another time I saw him with just Asher. I saw him with Becca Rosinski. And I think I saw him with Marcus Davis once.” He hesitated for a moment before continuing quickly. “I saw him with a few other people, but I don’t really know them. Besides, they all seemed to be just talking to him after class, you know? Not like a real conversation.”

I started to ask him about the hesitation, then I decided it would wait. I was more distracted by the news that Asher had talked to Seth at least twice. He’d never mentioned it to me. Could it be what he was hiding from me or was there more? I pushed that line of thought from my mind and forced my attention back to our conversation.

“Did Seth look angry or scared or uncomfortable with any of them?”

Once again, Jake thought for a moment before answering. “It’s hard to say—maybe with Zack, Jesse, and Asher. I guess he also looked uncomfortable when it was just Asher. Not really with Becca. I couldn’t tell with Marcus because I only saw them from behind.”

“What about the other ones?”

“I’m not sure.” His eyes flickered away.

I was positive he wasn’t telling me everything, and this time I decided not to ignore it. “You have to tell me everything, Jake.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean whatever it is you’re not telling me. It’s obvious you’re trying to protect someone or something, but this is really important. I need to talk to everyone who had anything to do with Seth. Even if they didn’t kill him, they might know something, maybe something they don’t even realize they know.”

He sat there for a few minutes before finally making up his mind. “Look, Killian...I did see him talking to someone else, but I can’t say who it is yet.”

“Why are you protecting this person? What if they’re the one that killed Seth?”

“I... I just can’t believe that. Please, let it go for now and give me a chance to ask them about it first.”

“Okay,” I gave in with a sigh.

His whole face lit up with a smile as he impulsively jumped across the bed and tackled me. We wrestled on the bed for a few minutes before he finally got the advantage. He had my body pinned with his and was holding my arms above my head. His face was just inches from mine when our eyes locked and we both froze. We stared at one another for what seemed like an eternity before he suddenly jumped back.

“Sorry.” He was slightly out of breath, even though I knew we hadn’t wrestled that hard.

“What are you sorry for?”

He seemed at a loss for words, so I took pity on him. “Never mind,” I said as I got off the bed and checked my phone.

There was a strange tension in the room for a few minutes. We avoided looking at each other, and neither of us spoke. Finally, he broke the silence. “Hey, Killian, can I ask you a question? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

That certainly piqued my curiosity, though it also made me cautious. “Um, sure, ask away.”

He bit his lip, then blurted out, “Do you like anybody?”

“Like how?” I knew what he was asking; I just wanted to hear him say it.

“Like as in...do you, you know, like someone?” He blushed a furious red.

I couldn’t help smiling. I stared at my phone so he wouldn’t think I was laughing at him. “Maybe.”

“So you do. Can I ask who?”

“Sure you can ask. Doesn’t mean I’ll tell you, though.” I was enjoying teasing him way too much.

“Why not? Don’t you trust me?”

I realized it was a serious question for him, and I wasn’t being very sensitive. I slipped my phone back into my pocket, walked back over to the bed, sat down next to him, and looked directly into his eyes. “Honest answer... I don’t know who to trust anymore. But you seem cool, and today has been fun, so I hope we can be friends. I’m just not sure we’re at the talk about your crushes stage of friendship quite yet. Does that make sense?”

He looked away, but not before I could see disappointment. “Yeah, I guess so.” He stood up. “I should be getting home. Do you think you can take me now?”

I felt awful. I could tell I’d disappointed him, but what could I do? Tell him I was attracted to both him and Asher? Asher and I weren’t even talking, and I’d just met Jake. Not to mention that I was currently dating his sister. Sort of. Oh, what a tangled web...

“Yeah, sure,” I said with a sigh.

We made small talk as I drove him home, comparing classes and teachers, discussing our favorite movies, and arguing about our musical tastes. I liked pop and older stuff, while Jake preferred R&B and hip hop. In between, he must have thanked me a dozen times for being so honest and accepting with him.

I dropped Jake off and was pulling out of their driveway when Judy stepped out from behind one of the two enormous bushes on either side of its entrance. She stopped in front of my car as I slammed on the brakes and managed to stop just short of hitting her. I was very glad I hadn’t been going any faster. My heart was pounding as I started to open my door.

Judy motioned for me to stay where I was. She walked around and climbed into the passenger seat. She looked older than she had the day before. She’d pulled her hair back into a ponytail and wasn’t wearing any makeup. There were dark circles under her eyes.

“What is it with you jumping out of the shrubbery? I could have hit you!” I accused her angrily.

“But you didn’t. I needed to speak to you privately.”

“So you jump in front of my car?” I was exasperated.

“We’re talking, aren’t we?”

I shook my head in wonder. Obviously, there was no winning with this strange woman. “So what was so important that you had to risk your life to tell me?”

“I’m leaving to go back to California tomorrow.”

“Well, thank you for the information. I’ll miss you terribly.” I was still rather miffed about the near accident.

“Killian, please take this seriously. I needed to tell you before I left that you’re in danger.”

“You told me that last night.”

“Things have changed since then. You’re in even more danger now. I had a dream last night.”

Now she had my attention. “A dream? About what?”

“There was a faceless man watching you from the shadows, but you didn’t see him. He didn’t come after you, but he will soon. He fears you.”

At first, I was speechless. When I finally found my voice, it came out a bit shaky. “I have that dream all the time.”

She gave me a measuring look. “When we first shook hands, I felt something in you. I thought you might be Gifted.” She said the word as if it had a capital G.

I stared at her in dumbfounded shock.

“If you’re having dreams like that, it sounds like I was right,” she continued.

I found my tongue. “What do you mean Gifted?”

She hesitated. “Do you believe in supernatural powers, Killian?”

“Like...seeing the future and stuff?”

She tipped her head slightly to one side. “Among other things.”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it.”

“I believe that some people are born with certain...talents. The same way some people have a natural ability to draw or a knack for music, others are born with a special sensitivity to things—for lack of a better explanation—on another plane. I call these talents Gifts.”

My head hurt as I tried to process what she was saying. “So you think I have these...Gifts?”

“Possibly.”

Panic gripped my chest, making it hard for me to breathe. “The dreams I’m having might be visions of the future?”

She shook her head. “Not necessarily. They could just be warnings. Of course, there’s always the possibility they’re merely bad dreams.”

“But you said you felt something when we shook hands...”

“Yes. I did.”

I squeezed my eyes shut and rubbed my throbbing temples. Suddenly, her earlier words sank in, and my eyes popped open. “Wait a minute. You said the killer fears me? I fear him!”

“You fear him because he’s a threat to you. He fears you for the same reason.”

“How am I a threat to him?”

“You’re the only one who can stop him.”

We sat staring at each other for a few more seconds. I was in shock, and she seemed to be in thoughtful contemplation. Then, without warning, she opened the door and climbed out. Leaning back in, she said, “You are a remarkable young man with a promising future, Killian. Just be careful. You’ve lost a lot and been hurt so much already—and you’ll most likely be hurt more before this is over. Eventually, if a soul is hurt enough, it can become calloused. You must not allow that to happen. You’d stop feeling—and then you’d be dangerous.”

She slammed the door and faded back into the bushes. For a brief moment, I almost wanted to laugh because she reminded me of the Homer Simpson meme, but that was simply hysteria setting in.

I sat there for a while longer pulling myself together before driving off. I wasn’t sure I bought her ideas about Giftedness, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to Judy than met the eye. I decided I’d be wise to heed her warning.

 

 

My sleep was troubled again that night.

I was walking through the park, but I was convinced a shadowy figure was following me. I kept catching glimpses of someone out of the corner of my eye, but every time I turned, there was no one behind me. Somehow, though, they kept getting closer and closer and...

I woke suddenly from the nightmare and sat up in bed to find Seth standing at the foot of my bed. I almost screamed before I realized it had to be a dream within a dream, like some kind of nightmare inception.

He didn’t do anything at first, just stood and stared thoughtfully at me. Now that the moment of panic at finding a dead boy in my bedroom—his bedroom?—had passed, I didn’t sense any ill-will or danger from this dream version of Seth. In fact, he felt just as calm as the real, living Seth had felt, and I found that almost comforting.

Then he moved around to the side closest to me and, much to my surprise, laid down on the floor and scooted under the bed. I watched in amazement until he wiggled backwards and emerged holding a book. He looked up, made eye contact with me, then proceeded to repeat the process, except, the second time he emerged from under the bed, the book was gone.

I blinked and he vanished too.

That was certainly different. Weird, but oddly reassuring after the string of horror movies most of my dreams had been lately.

Still, it was a while before I was able to fall back to sleep after that.

I crawled out of bed the next morning feeling as if I hadn’t rested at all. Unfortunately, that was becoming a pattern.

I dragged myself down to breakfast and then on to school. The day pretty much went by in a blur. My grades for the semester were going to be mediocre at best if things didn’t change.

After school, I saw Marcus Davis, Asher’s older brother, walking across the parking lot. He was a senior on the student council and, by all accounts, a pretty nice guy. He’d always treated me well. He looked nothing like his younger brother. He was built like a football player, much beefier than Asher.

I remembered Jake saying he’d seen Marcus talking to Seth, so I ran to catch up with him before he could reach his car, a beat-up old Honda that he treated like a Corvette.

It was time to really start my investigation.

“Marcus, could I talk to you for a second?”

“Hey, Killian. We can talk if you’re fast. I’ve got to get to work. If I’m late one more time, I’m dead meat.”

“This is going to sound weird but humor me. Did you ever talk to Seth Connelly?”

“Talk to him? Yeah, I guess so. He was in my Spanish III class. Man, that kid could speak some español. He was really advanced. Made the rest of us look estúpido.”

“No, I mean did you ever have a real conversation, not just class stuff?”

He raised an eyebrow and gave me a funny look. “I don’t know, maybe once or twice.”

“Do you remember what you said?”

His other eyebrow jumped up to join the first one. “Not really. Nothing important, I’m sure.”

“Well, if you think of anything, will you let me know?”

“Yeah, sure, Killian, but what’s this about?”

“Nothing. I mean... You know, it’s, uh, been hard. Because I found him. His body. In the park. And I knew him. Or, like, we’d talked. So... Yeah.” My incoherent train of thought finally derailed, sparing both of us further horror.

He blinked a few times, then said, “Aight. Cool, cool, cool. Well, I gotta run.”

He turned to walk away, but one more question occurred to me. “Wait! Did you ever see him with anyone else?”

“What difference does it make? Why do you care?”

“Oh...um...I mean, I was pretty much his only friend here. I’m just trying to find out what was going on with him before he died. I need...you know...um...closure.”

“You’re one weird dude, Killian. I don’t know who he talked to. I didn’t keep tabs on him.” He started away, then turned around and kept walking backwards. “If you need closure, maybe you should talk to Asher. He’s the one still moping around ‘cuz you guys broke up.”

“What?” I screeched, but he just spun around and loped off toward his car.

I wanted to chase after him but decided against it since people in the parking lot were watching me curiously after my high-pitched outburst. I’d already attracted more than enough attention for one day, so I got in my car and left.

All the way home, I thought about what Marcus had said. Asher was moping about us? Did he really feel like we’d broken up? He was the one who’d said we’d never really even been dating in the first place. Everything had happened so fast. Did that mean there was still a chance for us to work things out? I couldn’t believe Asher had told Marcus about us or, more importantly, that Marcus would just blurt it out in the middle of the school parking lot.

What about Jake? another part of my brain piped up. I couldn’t deny I was attracted to him, and I was pretty sure he was attracted to me, too.

Where did Judy’s warning play into all this?

There were too many questions. I didn’t know what to think.

I walked into the house and dropped my backpack by the door on my way to the kitchen to grab a snack. My phone buzzed. It was Mom. “Hi, Mom. What’s up?” I answered.

“Killian,” she sounded tired—or maybe weary was a better word, “I need to talk to you about something important. Is now a good time for me to come over?”