It Wasn't Me - 11. Chapter 11- A Twisted Rainbow

Hi Jake its James,

So right now our father is god knows where chasing my mother. I've been staying at best friend Matt's house for three weeks. I like his family, but I can't take living with them. See, I really didn't grow up with a lot rules and stuff like that. When your parents spent a lot of time bars and don't really pay attention to you, you don't see them parents. You know I mean? I'm thankful that Matt's parents took me in and all, but they are getting on nerves. I can't eat ice cream for breakfast, because it's not healthy. I can't drink out of the carton, because it's not sanitary. I can't clip my toes nails at dinner, because it's not proper. The only good thing is that every night Matt lays in bed with me. We talk (he's a really good listener) and we fall asleep together. I know it's strange but it's actually sweet. Anyway, how are you? I would really like hear about you.

I dropped the letter into the mailbox as Matt and I headed off to school.

"I'm sure he'll write back, you're brothers." Matt tried to reassure me.

"I don't know Matt, he has never written back before."

%%%%%%

At school Donovan was concisely asking how I was doing, and I of course I put on fake smile smirked "I'm fine."

I found myself sitting in my classes noticing that Matt and Alfreda were…were flirting. She was staring at him, smiling at him, and laughing at his corniest jokes. He was doing it too. He was telling her she looked nice and helping her gather her books. I looked down and tried to ignore it.

Donovan's voice snapped me out of my daze. "Hunter." He called me as everybody was leaving.

"What?" I groaned.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm fi…"

"Hunter, I don't give me anymore of that 'I'm fine' crap"

I dropped my bag on Alfreda's desk. "Honest?"

He nodded. "Honest."

"I'm grateful for the Edwards and all, but they're…" I took a breath, "they're just such a family. I mean even my family, wasn't never that family enough. You know?" I didn't understand why I was saying this to him, but I was.

He nodded. "I get it. They are good family so good that's sort of little annoying huh?"

I laughed. "Yea."

"Well you're welcome to call me anytime you need a break or something."

"I know, you already told me that." I rolled up my eyes and grabbed my bag.

***

That night I thought I'd just walk around town until I got tired. I didn't have plan or any clue. I just walked around thinking to myself. I thought of the stars, the streetlights, and the people rushing around.

Then I heard someone yelled, "Jimmy."

I turned around to see Bobby holding a can of spray paint.

"Hey little bro?"

"I thought you were locked up."

"Yea I was. But I got out, in my own special way of course." He smirked and looked over at the rest of his gang spray painting some building (it was too dark to see what building it was).

"So you want to have some fun?" He chuckled waving the can in my face.

"I don't think so." I mumbled walking a few steps away.

"Faggot." Bobby yelled.

I lost my breath. "What?" I almost cried.

Then another voice called me out. I turned around to see Joey.

Bobby smiled, "My good friend here told me that you like looking at dick. What a disgrace you are to the Hunter name, you probably got that aids thing."

I felt my throat tighten. I wanted to breakdown and cry. But instead I did what I did best, cover up. "That's not true. I'm not a fa..." I couldn't say even say it.

"Faggot!" Joey corrected me.

Bobby devilishly chuckled again. "Well you should do response to it."

I slammed my foot against the ground, "That word means nothing to me."

Bobby and Joey turned to each other nodded and smiled.

Joey tossed me a paint can, "Prove it."

I didn't feel right about this. "What?"

"We dare you to spray Faggot on that wall." Joey commanded motioning to the guys leaning against the already vandalized building. All of them were now staring at me too.

I felt like darkness was closing in on me. I thought about making a run for it. I was thinking that I should have run back to the light.

"If you're not a fag then you should have no problem with this." Bobby smirked.

I was once again presented with a choice. The right choice would be to run away back the house and let everybody forget about this. But of course being in my natural environment I was destined to make the wrong choice. I walked toward the building with the can shaking in my hand.

As I held up the can to the wall they chatted. "Do it, Do it".

"I'm not." I screamed as sprayed the F in red paint. I sprayed the red paint.

As I paint the wall, I bleed. For I'm stabbing myself, for what I am. I paint as I try to bleed it out.

I manage to hold back the tears as I painted the G. The gang was yelling, "Fag, fag."

"I'm not." I screamed over and over again until I crossed the T.

I stared at it. "FAGGOT" is big red letters. "There, y'all happy now?"

"I guess, we were wrong about you." Joey chuckled.

Then we heard cops coming. Naturally it was now everyman for himself. I dropped the can and ran. I ran like I should have run before. However I wasn't fast enough and the police caught me.

The cop shine his flashed light on my now tear soaked face.

"How old are you?"

"15." I cried.

He bit his lip then whispered, "Come on."

"Am I going to jail?"

He smiled, "No, nobody got hurt. And don't think you're the leader, right?"

"No...I'm not with them, trust me." I said as was climbed into the police car. I started to feel a little better and very relieved.

"Well I still have to tell your parents."

"My parents?"

"Yea, what is your address?"

I panicked so I lied, "Um, my parents are out-of-town."

He raised an eyebrow, "Okay? Then are you saying at friend's house or something?"

I knew I couldn't go back to Matt's house now. I knew that his parents would give me hell.

"Hello?" the cop snapped.

Then I noticed Donovan's apartment was near.

*****

Donovan's face was a mixture of shock and anger.

"Do you know this kid?" The copper asked.

He nodded, "Yea. Officer, can you tell me what this is all about?"

The cop told him.

"Spray paint?" Donovan barked.

The officer rolled his eyes, "He said he staying with you?"

Donovan stared at me silent for a minute then finally nodded, "Yea, he is. His folks are out of town."

The cop nodded and left.

"Thanks for covering for me. Matt's dad would have freaked if I had showed up with that cop."

"Would they have told how stupid you are for being out so late." He yelled.

"Okay, I get it." I groaned not wanting a lecture.

"I don't think you do." He hollered again.

I stopped moving, "I'm sorry I srcewed up your night."

***

The next morning Donovan drove me to Matthew's house. Neither of us really knew what was going to happen. Donovan made a decision not to tell them about the cop and I made a decision not to tell to Matt anything about it either.

As soon as we got there, Matt grabbed my hand and starting mothering me his bedroom hallway. "Where were you? Do you know worried I was?"

I look over at the door, "You know they're talking about me."

He nodded.

"I can't take this shit."

I ran into the kitchen when they had retreated to talk.

"If none of you want me." I started to holler "Well that's fine because I don't want any of you." I screamed and starting running through the house.

I ran to the window and didn't stop. Matt was pleading and telling me to stop, but I climbed out and down the tree. When my feet hit the ground I looked up to see Donovan.

"Where do you think you're going?" Donovan called me out.

"Why do you care?" I smirked.

"How about my place?"

"What?" I asked.

"My place." He nodded.

"Why?" I mumbled again."You are not gotta tell me what to do" I stomped.

"Someone may have to." He smirked quickly.

"You're not my dad."

"I'm not trying to be."

I looked over at him, "okay."

Then we shook hands.

"I'm going to go talk to the Edwards okay." He said walking back into house as Matt walked out.

"So you're moving in with our English teacher?" Matt asked.

"You heard?"

He gave me that cute smile. Oh I lo....nevermind.

I couldn't help to laugh, "Yes I am. But still leave the your window open for me okay?"

****

That night I sat by the window my new bedroom at Donovan's apartment staring at stars in sky. My dad wasn't coming back. My mom wasn't coming back. And I'm now living with my teacher. There were a lot of mixed emotions. My mind battled if this was a good thing or a bad thing. My dad wasn't there to beat me anymore, yet my mom wasn't there to cover up the scars. Donovan was a cool guy, yet he was also a hard ass. My relationship with Matt had growth stronger, yet I was lying to him. I took out my notebook and looked back at the night sky.

The sky was black, but the light form the surrounding buildings appear to create lines. It looked like blue and purple steaks with pink highlights going across. I was not going to brother figuring how simple houses lights make such colors. It created a fascinating beautiful image, why analyze it.

"It's like a twisted rainbow" I said to myself, "It's not like a pretty typical rainbow...but that's why it's more beautiful, more interesting."

I opened up my notebook to a clean page.

As the stars meets my eyes I start to wonder something.

Are stars the lights trying to peek through the dark night?

Or are stars more like tiny bullet holes though a blacken heart?

This an unanswered question, for the stars are too far away to ask.