It Wasn't Me - 23. Chapter 23 The roads have flummoxed

"My mom's gone and my dad's drinking again" I simply yelled out walking into Matt's living room.

In an instinct he got up and wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me close to him. I returned wrapping my arms his neck.

"I'm so sorry Jamie." He started repeating slightly rocking me.

I grabbed on tight and sniffed into his shoulder. I'm not going to go all cheesy and say "all problems vanished away", because they didn't…but Matt holding me gave me a feeling of great warmth. I could even describe it as a feeling of ecstasy. I was so caught up in that feeling that I didn't notice that Alfreda had been standing behind me the whole time.

Matt released me. Then Alfreda gave me another however not as warm of a hug.

"I'm sorry." she said."Do you want to talk to Matthew about it?" She shifted her eyes, "You want me to leave?"

I shook my head, "No, you don't do have leave Alfreda."

I sat down on the couch, "Everything was going just fine and then…" I took a look at Matt and Alfreda were siting on either side of me. I made the decision that it would be better to leave some the information out. I was wrong about my mom having unconditional love for me. I didn't want to take that chance with Matt and Alfreda,"I woke up this morning and she was gone.

They both nodded.

"So do you like to spend the night here?" Matt asked.

"Yea." I nodded.

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I couldn't sleep that night. Matt and I were lying in his bed talking.

Mr. Edwards went over to my place to try to talk to my dad. Mrs. Edwards ordered pizza in attempt to make it "fun night", I appreciated her for trying. Mary talked the most at dinner. Matt and I couldn't help laughing at how little girls could go on a rant.

Matt and I spend most of the time lying in his bed talking. We chatted about my mother and our memories of her. It seems once I told him about the lipstick thing, that all the other girly things I used to do with her weren't that hard to talk about.

I told him how my mom and I watched soap operas. How we gave each other fashion advice. He we gossiped about the women in our building.

I thought to myself, OH MY GOD! HOW WE HAVE NOT SEEN THAT I WAS SO GAY BACK THEN?

"I guess in some ways we were in our little world." I told Matt.

"Yea uh" he yawned.

It was easy to see that Matt was tried, but he was trying to keep wake for me. "You want to go to sleep?"

He blinked and yawned again, "No. No you need to talk so I'll stay up with you."

I looked at him sweetly. "It's okay Mac. We can go to sleep now."

And just like that he fell asleep. Dead sleep. I watched him for a minute. That weird little snore had really gown on me.

I just looked at him whispering to myself, "I wish I didn't have all these feelings for you. I wish things weren't so confusing. I wish we could land in some magical world where things could be simpler."

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When I woke up Mrs. Edwards was staring at me. Once my eyes adjusted I saw that I was still in Matt's bed and worst…my arm was wrapped tightly around her son's lower stomach.

I quickly jumped up, "…um…I…"

She held up her hand, "James it's okay. I know that you're hurting right now and need comfort."

"Um…um…"

She put her hand on my shoulder, "It's okay. Really it is. So are you hungry?"

Mr.Edwards sat across form me at the breakfast table.

He was quietly sipping his coffee. He had said nothing about my dad.

I dropped my fork annoyed, "So? What's up with my dad?"

He rubbed his forehead, "Your father loves you very much…"

I smirked.

"He dose, he really dose…and once he processes his hangover we'll see what happens."

I shook my head "I don't know"

"Just tried to enjoy the rest of your summer."

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I went to Donovan's apartment. Matt had offered to come with me, but I needed to go alone.

"Hey Hunter" Donovan quietly cheered siting on couch with legs resting on the coffee table watching TV with Jackson and a bag of chips.

"Hey my brother" Jackson greeted, "What's up?"

"Not much man" I shrugged.

"So is everything okay?" Donovan had to ask.

I bit my lip and sat next to him, "Hey Jackson…can I have a minute with Tony please?"

He nodded like he understood. "Yea, I need a shower anyway" He said walking out to go to his nearby apartment.

"So what's going on?" Turner asked.

"Why do you assume that something is going on ?" I smirked sitting beside him.

He swallowed then he narrowed his eyes, "Come on, let it out"

"Tony I…I told my mom. About being, you know, gay"

God, that word was still kind of hard to say.

Donovan swallowed another bite, "What happened?"

I told him all about the fight.

"And she was gone in the morning"

He rolled his eyes, "She left again? I can't believe this woman."

I nodded, "I was thinking…that maybe…if my dad…you know…loses his mind that I…could move back in." I suggested, "Please?"

He nodded, "Well, I have to talk with the village."

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Matt and I waited my bedroom at Donovan's apartment while Tony, dad, and the Edwards talked in the living room.

"Don't worry Jamie. We'll work it out" He consulted as he read some film-making article on my bed.

"Hey, Jamie. Do you know that the original Tin Man, had to abandon the part after being hospitalized. The cause, a reaction to the aluminium powder in his make-up."

I chuckled, "Wow, that's really interesting. You're really into this film stuff."

He nodded, "I don't want to settle like my dad. I want to actually create something, do something glamorous."

I sat at the small desk and turned back to my writing.

The roads have flummoxed.

One might bring the light.

But the other might untie the knots in my past.

One is forget

The other is forgive

I just don't want to be standing alone in the deadly folk

"Jamie" Matt called to me putting down the paper. "What's you writing?" he asked walking to me.

I quickly closed the notebook "It's nothing"

He chuckle trying to reach for it.

Then we heard a knock.

Matt opened the door for my dad.

"Son" he cleared his throat, "We had good talkin…and came to the decision that you should live with teach." Then he smiled, "I'm going to have to go away for a bit."

I shook my head, typical Bud Hunter.

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For the rest of the summer I was moving back in with Donovan. I applied for a few writing scholarships that he told me about. It was now going to be my senior year.

About a week after school started I was walking into the lobby of our building.

However what I found was…shocking.

I saw him. I recognized him form pictures. He had short brown thick hair…and Hunter blue eyes. Part of me wanted to be excited and curious. Part of me was angry and confused. But all of me was shocked.

I mustered up my breath to run into his face and yelled, "What are you doing here?"

And Jake just stared at me.