It Wasn't Me - 29. Ch. 29 Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde

I had an overwhelming headache in the morning. The half case beer was on the other side of the bed. I wish I could say that I got drunk enough to forget what happened the night before. That was the goal. But no, I actually remembered everything.

"Oh my god." Shawna grasped when I finished the twisted fairy tale of drunken prince in English class.

"Yup." I smirked.

"The strange case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde," Our English teacher said. "Discusses of the themes of good vs evil and the dual nature of man."

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"Have you talked to Matthew today?" Alfreda asked walking up to us after class.

"Nop why?"

"He called me last night panicked and told me everything."

"So?" I smirked.

"Well he's very confused and scared." She spoke softly.

"Aren't we all." I smirked again.

"Hey." We heard Matt's voice greeting us. I turned around to see him standing there nervously clutching his backpack. He looked well, better than I did. I didn't know if I should wrap an arm around him or start crying on my knees.

"Jamie I…" he started.

I couldn't take it. This wasn't a conversion I really wanted to have. He was staring at me with this haunted look.

"James, about last night…I don't know how…"

I cut him off yelling, "You don't know?"

The alcohol in my blood started rushing, welcome Mr. Hyde, "You don't fucking know. Then who doses know?" I waved my arms around," Alfreda? Shawna? Anybody? Dose anybody know?"

They didn't say anything.

I slammed my fist against the locker and ran out of the building. Matt chased after me. I felt myself starting to cry. I quickly wiped away the tears and reached for the zipper for backpack. I whipped out a beer and started drinking more.

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I ran into my apartment and grabbed the case of beer.

"Are you kidding me?" Matt yelled walking in behind me, "You still want another drink."

"Why don't you go home anda cry?" I bit.

All I could do was look at him and think about that night. I wanted so badly to gain back that thrilling high. I stepped closer to him and placed my hand on his waist and kissed him. I could feel confusion in him.

He stepped back "James you're drunk."

"I'll suck your dick. I bet Alfredooo I wouldn't do that fo yo." I slurred and placed my fingers inside the top of his jeans. "You know right now, I would do anything to you, dirtty thingsss."

Matt swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

"Aaand I would let you do anything, I mean anything to meee." I whispered.

Matt scanned my body and bit his lip.

"And you would like it." I said.

He pushed me away. "Maybe we can talk tomorrow when you're sober…"

"You said you loved me." I started to scream again.

"I do" Matt nervously stated. "I do love you. I love you enough that I would never to take advantage of you drunk."

"Take advantage of me uh?" I rolled my eyes, "You didn't have a problem with that last night when you was grabbing at me."

Then the door opened. We turned our eyes to Jake.

"We got drunk last night and I think he liked it too much, that's why I called you." Matt briefly explained.

"Well drinking is a big deal for us." Jake bit. He looked at me confused, "Do you not remember dad?"

"What?" I laughed.

"My mom as well as your mom both left him because he was abusive drunk."

I don't know why I was doing any of this. I yelled, "Don't you be talkin about my dad like that." I attacked him pushing him on to the couch.

Matt pulled me off of Jake.

"He's my father too. You should know better not to drink. You should know more than anybody." Jake stomped getting up.

"Jamie." Matt started trying to clam me down.

"Just fucking stop it." I screamed on.

Matt reached out to me, "Please let's just talk." I took my palm and I pushed him. I pushed him down on the floor dropping my beer as well.

I watched Matt hit the carpet and it was as if lightning had flashed. I gasped. Dr. Jekyll woke up. He stared up at me for a second then quickly got up and ran out.

"How did that just happen?" I whispered.

I fell down into the couch. I looked down my eyes shifting from the floor to my hands, "Oh my god, I'm him."

Jake sat down next to me rubbing my shoulders, "That's okay."

"No, it's not." I started crying, "It's not okay. I hurt Matt. God I'm such a jerk."

"You're not a jerk." Jack said, "I can help you get though this."

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I went to the Edwards' house to try to mend any wounds that I could.

Mr. Edwards saw me though the kitchen window and opened the door.

"Hi," I swallowed standing at his doorway, "I just want you to know that I'm not going to drink anymore. But if you want me do stay away from Matt I understand."

"Come on in." He motioned. "James I'm sorry, I said somethings that I shouldn't have. I was mad"

I nodded, "I probably would've reacted the same way if I walked in on...well what you saw. I'm so sorry Mr. Edwards, I would never pressure Matt into doing anything, and if I..."

"Wow." Mr. Edwards cut me off laughing, "It took two forever."

"What?" I blurted out, "Wait you know that I'm...you know."

"Gay?" He laughed, "Yea we all know."

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

Mr. Edwards stared at me confused, "Sorry? Sorry for what? I don't care that you're gay or that Matt's gay. What I do care about is you two going off drinking…you know that I'm worried that alcoholism runs in both of our families. Be homosexuals, just don't be alcoholic homosexuals."

I had to laugh at that.

I nodded, "Trust me this experience really made me understand that. I hate that the way I acted…I swear I'll never do it again."

He placed his hand my shoulder, "I know that you would never hurt him on purpose. And I'm glad you're okay now."

"So if Matt and I were…like together…that wouldn't bother you?"

"Despite everything I know about you, I approve."

"Good. Because Matt the smartest, sweetest guy I've ever met. I can't thinking about him, and I love him so much that it scars me."

That I was the first I said that.

I smiled, "Yea, I love him."

"I feel the same way." I heard Matt call out. He had been standing on the stairway the whole time.

Mr. Edwards winked at me and chuckled, "I'll give you guys some time to talk." He waved leaving the kitchen.

"Mac I'm sorry…"

"Dose it still scar you…being gay?" He sat down at the table.

"No. I think accepted that now." I sat down next to him, "Are you scared?"

"I don't know." He said, "I'm surprised that you would even be interested in me."

"What? Why wouldn't I be?"

"Oh come on, you're James Hunter. You're the guy everybody wants. You're more popular. You're more interesting. Not to mention way more attractive."

"You really that I'm that hot?"

"Yea, like Rider Strong hot."

I laughed, "Honestly, I'm surprised you would be like me. I'm 'wild', 'troublesome', and an all-round screw up."

Matt rolled his eyes, "You don't ever give yourself enough credit." He laughed sliding his fingers across my hand. "You don't ever see how great you are. You're also sensitive. Caring. Loyal. And you're smart in ways I'm not."

I turned my hand over, "You always see the good inside of me."

He clasped our hands, "I just wish we hadn't ruined our first kiss. I mean the feeling was amazing, I wouldn't take that back. I just can't believe it was while we were drunk."

"Were you hoping for something more romantic?"

"Yea." He nodded.

I grabbed his hand, "Come on". I playfully dragged him up stairs to his bedroom.

"What's going on?" He asked giving me a look.

I walked him over the window, "This is the window where you took me in so many times. This is room where we held each other until we felt sleep so many times…how about a redo first kiss?"

He laughed and connected our other hands, "Okay, but you got to make this sappy."

I laughed. "Fine"

I licked my lips thinking about what to say.

Matt laughed, "Oh just cut the chatter and kiss me." He leaned in placed in lips on mine.

I gladly smiled and moved into the kiss. It didn't take long before we pressed up each other, the heat vibrating though my body. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck and felt him squeezing my waist.

Why the hell did it take us so long?