Chapter 33

"Promise me," Shawn demanded as he finished bandaging Casey's wrist, after 'gluing' it up. He had sat Casey down on the sofa and had Casey's upturned wrist splayed across his lap as he doctored it. Casey's head had fallen to the back of the couch. He looked exhausted.

Shawn was surprised that the skin superglue seemed to be working and Casey was no longer bleeding. "Promise me, if he comes back before we get out of here, you'll get down to the ocean and swim away--so he can never get to you again."

Casey looked stricken, red-rimmed eyes gazed up at him suddenly. "No, I can't leave you... He almost killed you! He could try again!"

Shawn took Casey's face in his hands. "But he doesn't want me. I promise I'll be fine, but... I couldn't take it if he got to you. I can only imagine what might happen to you if..." his voice choked off.

Casey clutched at his arms, not wanting to let go.

"Please..." Shawn begged. "Promise me."

Reluctantly, Casey nodded, but Shawn could see the man was still in shock over what had happened, what his uncle had tried to do. It was slowly sinking in what could have happened, what had almost happened, and Shawn could see Casey retreating further and further into his mind.

They spent several precious minutes snuggled into each other, as if it might be their last chance. Shawn focused on memorizing every bit of the man he loved, from the taunt bronze shoulders, to the smooth, flat abs, to his ocean-scented hair. He buried his face in Casey's neck, nuzzling against his skin. He felt Casey's hands stroking over his back, fingers digging in to pull him closer.

Shawn reluctantly pulled back. "Let me grab you some clothes, pack a few things, and we'll get out of here, alright?"

Casey nodded but still seemed hesitant to let him go, as if clinging to him for safety. As soon as Shawn extricated himself from Casey's grip, he watched Casey's eyes darting frantically toward the ocean then back to the front window to watch the road. Shawn darted up the stairs, knowing he needed to hurry, to get Casey off the island.

He dragged out one of his suitcases, throwing a few pairs of underwear, shorts, shirts, whatever they might need for a couple days until they could get somewhere safer. He'd worry about exactly where later. First, he needed to get Casey far away, somewhere that asshole couldn't find him.

After haphazardly packing enough get by on for a day or so, he ran back down the stairs. He saw Casey pacing in front of the window, chewing on his thumbnail as he stared out toward the road.

"Here's a shirt. There are flip flops by the door."

Casey jumped at his voice, making Shawn curse under his breath at the underlying fear that man had instilled in Casey. He tossed the shirt at Casey who yanked it on in a daze. He crossed over to Casey, stealing a kiss hungrily, and gripping the back of his lover's neck, holding him tightly, trying to calm Casey's nerves and pull him back from the pit of fear he was sinking into. They leaned against each other, pressing their foreheads together and breathing in each other's scent. Exchanging silent, calming breaths, they both shared a moment of understanding: it was going to be okay.

"Go on and get in my jeep. I'm just going to grab my laptop." Casey grabbed the suitcase and headed to the door. Shawn turned toward his desk in the alcove, quickly packing up his laptop.

He grabbed a couple bottles of water on his way out, tossing his bag onto the tiny back seat of the jeep with the suitcase. He hopped in and started the vehicle, gunning the engine as he took off.

"Wait!" Casey shouted, his sudden animation from the daze he'd been in causing Shawn to slam on the breaks. "In the foyer... I saw... passports..." Casey stammered. "Maybe we should...we might need--"

"I'll get it," Shawn stated as he turned toward the large house. He didn't want to subject Casey to going back inside that place. He hopped out as soon as he stopped and darted inside.

For a moment, he didn't see them. But then he noticed some papers and the passports on the floor. Martin must have knocked them off the credenza when he swiped up his keys in his hurry to get out. Shawn grabbed up the passport with Casey's name and darted back out the door.

He froze as he saw billowing dust on the road coming towards them. Casey was already climbing out of the jeep, eyes wide. Shawn raced toward Casey, instinctively shoving the smaller man behind him.

"Go," he growled, keeping his eyes on the approaching dust cloud.

The blond started for the path but stopped abruptly, turning back to stare at the road. "It doesn't sound like Martin's car."

"I don't care! Maybe he got another car. Maybe he sent someone else after you. Get the hell out of here!" Shawn snapped.

But by that time, the little Tata Nano vehicle came into view. Shawn and Casey both frowned at the tiny old car, squinting to see who was driving. Shawn relaxed slightly when he caught sight of the darker skin of one of the villagers as the driver.

Not Martin. Thank God.

Shawn still maintained his protective stance in front of Casey as the little blue car pulled to a rattling stop. An older man in a rumpled shirt and slacks climbed out, looking upset and anxious.

"Oh, Casey," the man greeted sadly, "I'm so glad I caught up to you."

Shawn frowned and glanced back at Casey. The man knew Casey? Casey looked a bit perplexed for a moment as well before he tilted his head slightly and frowned.

"Dr. Buratha?"

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Casey eyed the man he hadn't seen in over four years warily. Of course, Dr. Buratha had been nothing but kind to him for the short time he'd worked at the clinic, but Casey preferred not to think about anyone from the clinic if he could help it.

And he certainly didn't expect the doctor to ever show up here.

"Oh, Casey," the older man smiled dolefully. "I'm afraid I have some bad news."

Shawn and Casey exchanged wary looks, but Dr. Buratha continued.

"It's your uncle, son." And Casey flinched at the reference to Martin. "I'm afraid... well, I'm afraid, he's... passed away."

Casey's jaw dropped. "What?"

He felt Shawn grip his hand tightly. A wash of mixed feelings rushed over him--shock that it had really happened, relief and joy that he was truly free of the man. But also an odd feeling of sorrow and guilt. Even though he knew he should hate the man and be rejoicing in his death, he still couldn't help a tinge of grief that he was truly dead.

"I'm so sorry. I know that he cared for you--"

Casey heard Shawn cough abruptly next to him, and Casey had to tamp down his desire to correct the nice man's assumptions about the person who tried to kill them.

"--and he was all you had left," Dr. Buratha continued. But then the congenial man eyed Shawn and their entwined hands. "But perhaps you have someone who can help you through this."

Shawn nodded, keeping his face devoid of emotion. Casey focused on the tiny bit of grief tugging at him to keep himself from seeming too relieved at the news his uncle was dead.

"H-how?" Casey finally choked out from his daze.

"Apparently, he had a heart attack while driving into town and crashed into a tree just outside of the village. We all heard it. A couple of people managed to pull him out of the vehicle, and he was clutching at his chest. But by the time I got there, he was already gone. I'm really sorry."

"I--" Casey clutched at Shawn's hand like a lifeline. "Thank you, Dr. Buratha. Especially for taking the time to come tell me personally."

The older man stepped forward to give Casey a consoling embrace. "I know this is a big shock, but you'll be fine, son. It'll take some time, but I know you'll be okay. If you need anything, help with taking care of the house, shopping, whatever, call the clinic. I'll send Akira or Nirali to help you, especially during this tragic time."

"The house?" Casey echoed.

Another sad smile. "Of course, son. Your uncle Thomas made sure to include both you and Martin in his will. Now that Martin is gone... well... I know it'll be hard being here without him, but maybe you could stay somewhere else for a few days. It is your home now, and I know you love it here, but maybe you could use a couple days away from ... you know, the memories."

Casey could only nod. His home. The house was his. But could he ever bring himself to go back in it? Did he want to? "I'll--I'll probably stay over at the cottage with Shawn," he said brokenly, but then quickly added, looking over at Shawn, "If that's alright with you?"

"Of course," Shawn agreed immediately, although they were both sure that the older man wasn't fooled that they were already rather close.

"Good, good." Dr. Buratha nodded. "It'll be better for you not to be alone."

"I'll make sure to keep him company." Shawn smiled reassuringly, stepping in to the conversation as Casey found himself drifting in a daze, stunned by the sudden turn of events--again.

"Yes, I can see that maybe my fears were unfounded."

"What fears?" Casey vaguely heard Shawn ask.

"That poor Casey would be alone, lost out here without his uncle," the older man grinned. While obviously Dr. Buratha was deeply saddened by the loss of Martin Jorss, he seemed happy and relieved that Casey had someone to grieve with. "I'll talk with you tomorrow. What phone should I call, the house or...?"

Shawn immediately stepped forward, offering the man his cell number. "Call this number. I'll make sure you can reach him."

Again, the man smiled broadly, nodding his assent. Casey and Shawn watched as the man climbed back into his little car and drove away. They stood staring at the receding car in silence for several long minutes.

Casey vaguely felt Shawn nudge his shoulder.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Huh?" A wave of dizziness washed over him as he turned to Shawn, and Casey gripped the man's forearm to steady himself.

"Casey?" Shawn's voice verged on alarm, and Casey knew he must look a bit out of it.

Casey found himself suddenly hyperventilating. So much. Too much. He just... couldn't... think. So much... too much... in just hours... Acceptance... Hope... Betrayal... Pain... Death...

He needed...

Away...

He turned. Eyes focused on the churning blue waters.

"I--" Casey started but couldn't find any more words. He abruptly stumbled towards the path down to the beach. He heard Shawn shouting after him, but he just couldn't breathe anymore. He couldn't focus. He couldn't... he just couldn't--

He nearly slid down the path in his haste to reach the water lapping against the shore.

"Casey! Wait!" He heard Shawn calling after him, but he couldn't stop. He needed the peace that he knew was beneath the currents; he wanted it all to slip away.

The flip-flops disappeared as he kicked them off in the surf, and he stripped off the shorts and shirt as he splashed through the breakers. He could hear a splash behind him but nothing mattered except slipping under those waters. The sea would understand. The sea would accept him, hold him, and keep the flood of emotions, the hurt, the ache, at bay.

He dove into the waters, slipping beneath the surface. The silence of the underwater world enveloped him as he flipped his tail and glided through the waters.

Blessed nothing. No uncles, no hate, no fear, no vicious words, no bitter guilt, no loss, no betrayal...

With clenched fists, he didn't even feel the sting of the saltwater on his wounded wrist. He squeezed his eyes shut against the sting of tears trying to fight their way out.

He didn't want to remember his uncle strapping him to a table, wanting to turn him into a lab experiment. His uncle's only concern for his own fame and money as he handed Casey over to a horde of scientists. They probably wouldn't think of him as human, just another animal to study. Oh, God, maybe they would have dissected him.

The one man he'd counted on for years had betrayed him. Had never really cared for him. Had now left him. Everyone always left him.

God, he was so tired of being... abandoned.

But...

His heart nagged at him to focus, to find his way back from the void, the numbness, his brain was sinking into.

Shawn. He surfaced suddenly, gasping in air after having stayed submerged for so long.

"Oh, thank God." He heard drifting over the waves. "Casey!"

Shawn. Shawn was here. Still. Shawn... accepted him. Shawn ... loved him. Shawn hadn't left him, had chased after him into the currents, and was swimming towards him.

His mind slowly drained of the fear and grief Martin's betrayal instilled in him, gradually filling with the certainty that Shawn accepted and loved him. That Shawn would never abandon him.

Casey flicked his tail, darting across the waters back to Shawn who was struggling against the current to reach him. Casey still approached him hesitantly, knowing this would be the first time that Shawn would truly see him, see his mer side, without the drama of the storm or drowning.

"Casey?" Shawn called hesitantly, bobbing in the waters. "You had me so scared. I thought..."

Casey covered the last few feet separating them but hovered, waiting to see Shawn's reaction.

Shawn seemed to be searching his face for something, but Casey wasn't sure what. But then Shawn suddenly launched himself at Casey, wrapping him in a tight hug before kissing him fiercely.

"God, don't ever do that again," Shawn snapped. "You had me scared shitless."

Shawn grabbed onto Casey, holding him as if he was going try to drag Casey back to shore. Casey let him lead, flipping his tail to aid their progress. Shawn's arms around him grounded him. This was real. This man really wanted to be with him. But that meant he'd have to feel again...

As they approached the shore, Casey realized his arm was burning with the sting of the saltwater. The numbness that his brain had tried to instill was washing away with Shawn's hands soothing over him. When they were close to shore, Casey felt Shawn's hands sliding over the swell of his tail, pulling him in closer.

"You're so beautiful, Casey," Shawn whispered. "I love you with or without a tail because I didn't fall in love with your looks. I fell in love with you." Casey felt Shawn's warm hand press against his chest. "I love what's inside of you, the sweet, caring man that you are."

And with that, the numbing shell cracked.

Casey shifted abruptly and staggered out of the surf to the sand. Shawn was right there next to him, worried eyes wide with concern.

"How are you feeling? Are you okay?" Shawn pressed.

"I'm--I'm fine," Casey mumbled, trying to force back the tide of emotions threatening to drown him, but when he took a step, his legs crumbled under him and Shawn scrambled to catch him, managing to grab Casey's shoulders as Casey's knees hit the sand.

"Case!" Shawn dropped to the ground in front of him.

His heart was pounding in his chest as he leaned forward, bracing his hands on the sand in front of him to steady himself.

Strong fingers gripped his shoulders as he heaved in air. God, it felt like he was suffocating. He tried to focus on the hands holding him, fighting through the hurt.

"Casey, come on, babe, breathe," Shawn urged. "I know it's hard, but you need to take some deep breaths for me, okay?"

Casey nodded as Shawn coached him through several deep breaths. As his breathing calmed, he let the emotions he'd held in check in front of the doctor, the ones he'd tried to drown in the ocean, break free. He looked up at Shawn with watery eyes.

"He's really gone," Casey whispered.

Shawn nodded in sympathy. "Yes, you're safe now. He can't hurt you anymore."

"Why?" Casey's voice cracked with misery.

"Why what?" Shawn frowned.

"Why would he hate me so much that he'd want to destroy me like that?" Casey choked on a sob.

Shawn abruptly gripped Casey's face, forcing him to meet those intense blue eyes. "Casey, he was lost and greedy, okay? He took out his pain of losing Thomas on you. He was going to use you. And that wasn't right."

"I just... I just don't understand..." Casey mumbled.

"And you probably never will. He never dealt with Thomas's death obviously, and he retreated into his delusions, his greed and selfishness. Focus on the good memories you have of both your uncles, okay?"

Casey bobbed his head in Shawn's cupped hands before Shawn wrapped him up in a tight embrace. He allowed Shawn's love to wash over him, chasing away the pain Martin had scarred his soul with. Suddenly his heart felt lighter, more hopeful than it had felt in a long time.

"Let's get you back home," Shawn whispered against his ear.

Home. Casey glanced up at the large stone structure that had been his home for fifteen years. But it hadn't really been a home since Thomas passed away, had it? It had been just a house, one he happened to share with Martin. A cage actually.

He looked back up at Shawn. Those strong arms holding him, those dark sapphire eyes etched with worry for him--that was home.

"Yeah. Yeah, let's go home."