Chapter 4

"Casey!" Martin's voice shouted as he slammed through the front door.

Casey jumped at the sound of the man's voice, nearly dropping his tablet that was perched on his lap. He pulled the earbuds out of his ear. His tablet and his iPod--his two best friends. There was a certain peace here that his uncle rarely invaded.

"Get down here!"

Damn, he sounded pissed, that wasn't a good sign.

After he returned from spying on the new couple next door, he'd ensconced himself in his room as he often did. For a while he'd just laid on his queen size bed staring at the ceiling, thinking about Shawn laying in that bed in the cottage. The one he'd napped in just a week ago. He imagined that strong body next to his...

...which inevitably led to him thinking about his first crush, where he had briefly enjoyed the feel of callus-roughed hands on his skin--something he hadn't done in a long time. It wasn't like Shawn was the first guy he'd ever felt attracted to; hell, he'd been watching porn on the internet since he was thirteen. But thoughts of their unavailable neighbor had him inexplicably wishing for what he'd thought he'd had with Roshan. Not that Shawn was an option, of course, not with a wife and everything. But still Shawn seemed different somehow than Roshan, stronger, more self-assured, more open, even though he'd only seen him briefly.

As much as he tried, though, now that the man had sprung to his mind, he couldn't fucking get Roshan out of it, no matter how much more enticing their new neighbor might be, damn it.

Roshan had been nice and sweet when he'd first met him, and he'd shared his first kiss with the other man as they had worked together in the clinic during the brief time when Martin had decided Casey needed work (other than just diving for pearls) now that he was sixteen. Roshan was a couple years older, aspiring to become a doctor. And after a few weeks of bashful glances and not so inadvertent touches, Roshan had finally cornered Casey in the back storage room.

Casey remembered looking up into Roshan's nearly black eyes and seeing the blatant lust filling them. But the older teen had been slow and careful as he'd leaned forward, silently asking permission. Casey had assented by tilting his head up, offering Roshan better access. He remembered his heart beating wildly in the seconds before Roshan's rough lips pressed against his. The other man's tongue had swept against his lower lip, teasing, seeking entrance, and Casey had relented with a soft sigh. He felt Roshan's body pressed against his smaller one, a definite ridge in the man's slacks pressing against his belly. His dark mocha hand caressed Casey's jaw, fingers trailing over the collar at his neck. Everyone just thought Casey liked to appear edgy and rebellious with the unusual choker, and Casey liked that it gave him that mysterious reputation. It was better than everyone knowing the truth. Roshan's thumb slid across Casey's Adam's apple, and he was sure that Roshan had been leaning in for another kiss.

But footsteps in the hallway caused Roshan to yank back abruptly, a flush of embarrassment crossed both their faces as they heard the doctor and one of the nurses talking. Roshan had grabbed a couple boxes of the latex gloves before heading back out, leaving Casey confused and aroused.

Of course, over the next few days, Roshan had continued to sneak small kisses with Casey, his hands beginning to roam more each time. He'd tell Casey how much he loved his soft golden skin. Casey had spent many afternoons just waiting for Roshan's attentions, craving the affection and touch of someone who might care for him.

But of course, he hadn't. Not really. Roshan had withdrawn abruptly after about a week, avoiding Casey and leaving him even more confused. Casey had tried to talk to him on several occasions but was brushed off, earning him a glare. He'd even turned around one time to find his uncle eyeing him warily. After that, he'd dutifully tried to stamp down his feelings, but he couldn't help watching his first love, hell his only love, whenever he had the chance.

He rolled over onto his side, as the brief happiness of that time bled into pain. A tear escaped the corner of his eye, dampening his pillow as he remembered his final encounter with Roshan.

He'd been putting away supplies that had just been delivered in the storage room when Roshan's dark figure had loomed in the doorway. Casey straightened from where he was digging boxes of gauze out of the large shipping box. He was sure he saw the brief flare of lust as Roshan's eyes dilated and his nostrils flared at the sight of Casey. But a scowl quickly replaced it, and Casey quickly dropped his eyes. He wished he knew what he'd done to cause Roshan to suddenly seem to hate him so much.

As Roshan's dark form stepped closer, grabbing a box of tongue depressors from the shelf, Casey returned to ignoring the man as best as he could and focused on unpacking the supplies. After all, Roshan had made it clear that he didn't want anything else to do with Casey. When he realized that Roshan hadn't moved, he cast his gaze curiously over at him.

The abrupt flare of anger surprised him as he felt himself shoved against the metal shelving unit, a hand gripped around his throat. His eyes widened in shock as he grabbed at the taller man's hand.

"Don't," Roshan growled. "Don't look at me, don't even think about me. I'm not gay. I'm not a faggot like you."

Casey gaped at him in shock. Roshan had been the one to come to him in the first place. It didn't make sense that he was now blaming Casey for their encounters.

"But I--" Casey tried to gasp, but he was smaller, younger and didn't have the strength that Roshan did.

"But nothing! I have a reputation to maintain. I will not let you bring shame to me and my family by continuing to pursue me like this."

What the hell--? Casey frowned. He hadn't done any of the pursuing here. "I didn't. You--"

But of course that just enraged Roshan even more, and Casey felt the grip tighten around his neck.

"Hey!" his uncle's voice snapped from the storage room doorway. "What's going on?"

Roshan immediately dropped his grip. "Dr. Jorss, your nephew has been... attempting to seduce me. He caught me here in the storage room, and I finally had to make him stop."

"No!" Casey blurted out, knowing that he was being rather insubordinate to the older teen, but he hadn't done anything wrong! "I was just unpacking the supplies, and he grabbed me!"

Roshan glared at him. "Don't deny you've been lusting after me. Everyone's seen it. You disgust me. Dr. Jorss, you need to keep your nephew under control."

Casey's jaw dropped open in shock at the cruel words. The bastard hadn't been so disgusted when he'd been slipping his hands up Casey's shirt, telling him how much he loved his creamy, golden skin.

"I see," his uncle said, his jaw hardening as he stared at both Casey and Roshan. "Casey, I believe it's time to go."

Casey opened his mouth to argue, but one look at his uncle's stern face and Roshan's smug one made him clamp his jaw shut. He fought to hold at bay the tears that threatened to escape. He wouldn't give Roshan the satisfaction of seeing him break down. Instead, he threw the box of gauze he still had clutched in his hand into the shipping box and shoved past Roshan to follow his uncle out.

"I'm heading home for the day, Dr. Buratha," Martin announced as he stalked to the door.

"Sure," the owner of the clinic smiled and waved. "Thanks so much for coming in and helping out as usual. See you tomorrow. Bye, Casey," the older doctor greeted, oblivious to the tension in the two of them. Casey only managed a small wave in return.

Once they were settled in the SUV, Casey refused to look at his uncle, both shamed and angry by what had happened. He crossed his arms and stared out the window.

But his uncle didn't start the car. "Casey..."

"I don't want to go back there," Casey announced suddenly. "He was lying, and--"

"I know," Martin's quiet voice stopped him cold. It was softer and more sympathetic than he'd heard it in... well, forever.

Casey's gray eyes darted over to the older man, not expecting to see the sadness and concern in the dark hazel eyes, an odd sense of understanding.

"You know?"

Martin sighed. "I've seen the way he's looked at you, and you at him. I didn't realize that anything had happened since he--"

"He's the one who kissed me!" Casey insisted. "I never--"

Martin nodded understandingly. "Yes, I'm sure you didn't. But some people are very afraid to admit their feelings. Roshan is...well, his family is very traditional. They'd never accept that he might love a man, and it is easier for Roshan to deny that side of himself. Many of the villagers here are very old-fashioned in that way. Thomas..." Martin swallowed heavily on the name of his love, "Thomas and I never let any of them know about us for that reason. It wasn't any of their business. They saw us as brothers taking care of their nephew."

A tear dripped off his chin as Casey stared at his hands clutched in his lap.

"I really liked him," Casey mumbled. "He made me feel..."

Martin abruptly started the car. "I know how you feel," Martin said, his voice firmer as if he was pushing back his emotions again. "I've been there, too. Many teens have had to go through rejection, whether they are gay or straight, or whatever. I'm sorry you had to go through that," he said, patting Casey's leg affectionately before returning it to the steering wheel. "But he fucking used you because you are an outsider and you were safe for him to play around with for a bit."

Casey grimaced at the harsh words of reality. He'd already come to that conclusion after Roshan had begun to ignore him. Casey desperately wished for his uncle's comfort, comfort that Thomas would no doubt have lavished on him. But he knew that was about all Martin was capable of, and he accepted that. He was glad that Martin had at least understood and not shunned him for that as well. It did make him wonder what Martin had been through when he was younger to suddenly be so compassionate now. But he knew that Martin would never confide in him either.

"You'll stay on the island when I go into town," Martin said.

And Casey had nodded his assent. He had no desire to see Roshan or anyone else ever again. Losing Thomas and now losing his first crush, his first hope for happiness since Thomas's death so callously...it wasn't worth the turmoil.

"Hey," Martin called for his attention as they pulled up in front of the house. Casey paused with his hand on the door handle. "That man used you. He didn't love you and never would have."

"Yeah, I know--"

"But," Martin continued, "Thomas did. He loved you very much. Think about that, and not about that asshole."

Casey smiled slightly, nodding. While the words his uncle said helped some, the words he didn't say had hurt even more. Thomas had loved him, not 'we love you' and not 'I love you'.

And that had hurt more than Roshan's betrayal, because he'd spent years with Thomas and Martin, and only a few weeks being around Roshan. He flopped his arm over his damp eyes as he wiped away the memories of his brief week-long affair from four years ago. It usually didn't bother him, he'd mostly forgotten it as it was overshadowed by Martin's final words on it. Even though his uncle had been much nicer than he'd ever been for about a month afterwards, it still didn't take the sting out of his omission.

"Casey! Now."

Shit, no more time to dwell on the fucking past. He swung his legs over the side of the bed, laying his iPod on his night stand, and quickly padded down the thickly carpeted stairs.

As Martin Jorss stomped into their two story home, Casey stepped nearly soundlessly into the foyer as he saw his uncle turn into the living room. He watched the man's sharp eyes shoot a look at the huge saltwater tank that was Casey's refuge if his uncle confined him to the house. Casey hated it; it felt like a small cage, but he knew it was necessary sometimes. Storms ravaging the coast or fishermen venturing too close in prime season made it necessary to retreat back into the house. And when the moon called...he had no choice but to obey.

"I'm here, Uncle Martin," Casey said softly, not wanting to startle the man.

Surprisingly, the older man looked relieved to see him. Casey frowned, having expected his uncle to be angry over something--even though Casey had no idea what it could be this time, unless his uncle had caught him checking out the new neighbors. Usually, Martin could barely stand to look at him over the last few years, let alone actually be happy to see him.

"We have neighbors," Martin said brusquely as he stripped off his sunglasses and stepped up so close that Casey had to tilt his head back to look up at his uncle. The man was at least six inches taller than him and had over fifty pounds in both muscle and a little fat, starting to creep into his mid-section, over Casey's lean frame. "I saw a van and a jeep parked over there when I was coming over the bridge. Hopefully, they are only here for a short visit."

Ahh, so that's what got the man so riled up, Casey thought. He just nodded, not wanting to let his uncle know that he'd been snooping already.

"I assume they haven't come by here, have they?" His uncle eyed him narrowly.

"No, sir," Casey said, shaking his head, quickly adding, "And if they had, I wouldn't have answered the door, just like you've always told me."

"Exactly. You never know what strangers will want, and we can't afford to take any chances," Martin reiterated his often repeated mantra.

"Of course," Casey agreed automatically.

"You'll have to restrict your movements on the island," Martin stated, looking pointedly at Casey's collar. Instinctively, Casey's hand went to his throat. His uncle didn't have the control device in his hand, though, so it wasn't like he was going to set it off right now. Casey's eyes darted to the credenza in the front foyer where Martin usually left it in its lock box, so it would be easy to grab if they went out on the boat or on a rare trip into town.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to narrow down the radius of your collar," Martin admonished, and Casey visibly relaxed. "But this does mean you need to keep to our side of the island. And keep your swimming to the southern cove, where they won't be able to see you. And only in the early morning or late at night."

"Yes, sir," Casey answered automatically. His heart sank at the thought of his cage getting even smaller. It was suddenly cut in half, maybe even more, now that he couldn't swim the whole perimeter.

"Good, we can't afford for you to be found out. It's the one promise that I can still keep to Thomas--keeping you safe from the rest of the world."

A smile sad smile flitted across his face. Casey's gray eyes lit with a spark of hope that Martin did truly care for him, deep down, like when he'd let a bit of concern slip through when he'd offered comfort in the wake of Roshan's rejection. He had really seemed to once, when they were a family, when Thomas was there as the glue. But it all unraveled with his beloved uncle's accident, and Casey knew it was all his fault. Martin would never let him forget that.

The collar was one way Martin kept his promise to Thomas. He could always tell where Casey was, and it kept Casey from wandering too far. Casey accepted that. It was the least he could do in memory of his Uncle Thomas. Thomas would never want him to get hurt, and the collar, the gated cave, and the tank, all helped to keep him that way.

"Now," Martin grinned, as he held up the satchel he was carrying, "Let's get some samples. I had the clinic order me some more culture tubes."

Casey followed his uncle to the room at the back of the house. He almost smiled at how Martin actually became a little giddy and more animated when they came in here. It was the man's one joy now--science. And Casey would never deny the man his happiness after he'd taken the only other source of contentment from him.

The room was crammed now with all sorts of scientific equipment--centrifuges, microscopes, flasks, petri dishes, and test tubes--a bunch of stuff that Casey didn't know what it was and didn't really care. All he knew was that Martin was happy and excited in here. And if Casey had to give up a little blood, or other samples, to make that happen then he knew he was honoring Thomas's memory by making the man's love happy again.

"The full moon is in two days, so I want to get a couple samples now, and then some more that night," His blond uncle stated. "It's been a few months since we've done a comparative analysis." He stroked the neatly trimmed beard on his chin thoughtfully as he booted up his computer. Casey thought it funny that he did that so often, probably didn't even realize he was doing it.

Casey sat on the 'exam' table as he had done so many times over the fifteen years that he'd lived here. Years ago, he'd been afraid of this room and the table, but he never quite could figure out why, except that Martin had sometimes scared him with stories of what might happen to him if anyone else found him out. Thomas, of course, would growl at Martin for scaring him, but Martin would just shrug, saying that 'the boy needs to know the dangers if he lets his secret out'.

Thomas had sat with him on the table until Casey had settled enough to know nothing bad would ever happen here. And nothing ever did. His uncles took samples for years as he was growing up, recording and keeping track of his growth and development. He knew it was necessary, a sudden spike or change in any levels could indicate something was wrong.

"Where will I be on the full moon?" Casey asked hesitantly. He knew Martin preferred the tank inside since it was easier for the older man to access, but the gated cave allowed Casey to see and feel the moon's lunar pull. He so wished that Martin would take him out to sea in the boat again like Thomas used to, but that was a pipe dream. Martin hated going out on the boat at night, well, he hated the boat at anytime, but night was the worse. It was harder to track Casey in the dark, he'd said. And if Casey got too far ahead and swam into a night fishing net...

"I think you can do the cave this time," Martin said as he readied his syringes. "It's going to rain the next couple days, but it's slated to clear up by that afternoon. So the weather should be calm that night, and I can grab a sample as soon as you shift. Then the night's all yours."

Casey couldn't contain his smile. Good, at least he'd feel the fresh flow of the tide and the glow of full moon on his skin, and he could forget about Roshan and Thomas's death and Martin's indifference, and even his lustful thoughts of their neighbor. He could forget his human side for a while and just be.