Trash Polka - 4. Chapter 4

I was half dead already. My upper body ached my eyes hurt from focusing so long. It didn’t matter. As always, August won. Rolling my head on my shoulders as I mouthed along to the screaming filling my apartment. I lifted my hands, gripping imaginary drumsticks as I played along with the pounding percussion of the song. I was out of practice, not nearly fast enough. It was still soothing still as I slid through the hallway, spinning on my heel as I looked around my bedroom.

Rifling through my closet, I paused when the song ended. Tilting my head to the side when my shuffle dropped me into a completely different vibe. It’d gone from the metal that vibrated my brain in a perfect way to something far more soulful Bobbing my head, I hummed along. I threw clothes at my bed, assembling an outfit. We’d made it to rap by the time I leaned over my dresser to drag eyeliner around my eyes. My phone was vibrating. That was probably August telling me to move my ass faster. I glanced at my hair before sighing. I didn’t have time to fix it the way I wanted. It didn’t matter. Clubs were always humid. Humidity was horrible for straightened hair. Especially if I decided to dance or drink. There was really no hope for my hair in the end.

It was so loud, and I was beyond tired. August only gave me enough time to change and get ready. My hair’s as annoying as I knew it'd be. I couldn’t do anything about it now. Today I was equipped with a black sheer button up with tight, red jeans and chunky boots. A leather harness crossed at my waist in thick strips before swooping up to my shoulders in an ‘x’ over my chest. It crisscrossed over my back too and was tight. It was comforting. Grounding. I managed to get my eyeliner on quick despite August rushing me. It flicks away from my eyes in sharp points. There are little eyeliner spikes by my tear ducts as well. The look is messy, but it’ll work.

August tamed his hair a little, running product through it and directing it away from his face in a way that makes it look wind-swept almost. He’s got on black leather pants now and a shirt that’s got so many holes and tears in it, he might as well have gone shirtless. He went a mile further with layered black and silver necklaces and chunky silver rings. He kept his smudged eyeliner from earlier and he’s so tired his eyes are bloodshot. Will that slow him down? Of course not.

“Alright, I’ll grab some drinks. You want to stay here, or come with?” I shrugged and Auggie took off.

I only ever came to this club with August. I couldn’t get in otherwise. It was for “Very Important People”, and I hadn’t earned that designation. It still surprised me that August had, given the music his band was getting popular for. All it took nowadays was going viral and having a strong social media presence. His band was taking off and this was a perk. Who was I to complain when I was reaping the benefits. The amount of pretty people here was staggering. My gaze swept over everything, struggling to take it all in. Every piece of furniture was sleek and modern. The place reeked of money and opulence. That didn’t stop the clientele from acting messy. The people watching in this place would be epic.

August bumped into my side, one hand holding a couple beers while the other somehow held two short drink glasses full of something dark, “We’ll start here and get the rest brought to us. I’ve got a table.”
“Damn, look at you man. Stepping up in the world!” I yelled over the heavy bass of the music.

“It’s ridiculous huh? It didn’t take much for people who’d turn their noses up at me to change their tune. Now here I am. In a club that I stand out in, with you. Who stand out even more.” August laughed.

I laughed as I followed him through the people standing at the bar height tables set back from the dance floor. There were tons of people dancing and I smiled, knowing that we’d be in there soon. We went up some stairs and came out onto a balcony. We slid into a cushy couch. I helped him set the drinks down at the white table in front of the couch. Looking around, my head tilted to the side as I noticed a section across the room that was up a level even higher than we were. There was a wall of windows. It looked like there were three separate rooms up there. It must be for the super VIPs. I scoffed. It didn’t matter where you were in society’s hierarchy, there was almost someone more important than you.

"What’s that?” I asked pointing.

“Oh that’s for the mega rich. For when you want to go to a club but have your own private room for some reason.” Auggie shrugged as he lifted his beer to his lips. So, I’d guessed right. I nodded, eyeing the rooms. There were full sized couches. One room even looked like it had a fireplace. You could see the people in the rooms, but they were too far away to make out any features.

“I won’t make you stay all night!” August yelled over the music, draping an arm over my shoulders, “I just missed you man!”

"Sitting together in a tiny room for six hours not enough for you?”

He laughed and rested his head against mine as he drank, “Hard to have a good conversation when you can’t make eye contact with the other person.”

“Fair.” I smiled and for roughly a half hour, we made little comments and just watched the people moving around and dancing below us.

Then, my whole world tilted and cracked a little. August and I were invested in people watching. I'd been looking for a new target when my vision narrowed in on something. Or, well, someone. I was watching a familiar black bob move through the crowd. There was no way. She couldn’t be here. I’d seen her ID. She wasn’t old enough. I tracked her all the way across the floor below and to the bar. There were people packed around it waiting. It took a second to realize she wasn't alone. There was a guy behind her I hadn’t noticed. He was…intimidating to say the least. He was wide and solid. He also looked like he'd be the type to commit horrible atrocities for fun. She reached the bar and he quickly shouldered people aside. All so she could get a couple bottles of water. She waved at the bartender who’d helped her and turned to skip away. The giant, scary guy followed. As I watched, she walked up the super special staircase to the VIP rooms and left my view.

“Oh, fuck me.” I groaned.

"Just that one time and faking it in pictures friend.” August grinned before raising an eyebrow and following my gaze, “What’s so fascinating about that staircase?”

“It’s not the staircase. I just thought I saw someone I knew.” I sighed, rubbing my cheek. It was probably someone else. She wasn’t old enough to be in a club. He was an asshole but surely, he wasn’t that irresponsible. I took a swig of my drink and forced myself to relax. I was acting like a headcase. Ridiculous.

“Whoa, they look scary.”

It was my turn to look where Auggie was, and I almost started spiraling again. There were five men, walking casually though the club now from the back. Was there another entrance? Didn’t matter. They all wore suits, but there was one that stood out. It looked like his suit was possibly burgundy-it was hard to tell in the lights-and its owner was Shitty Hot Customer. He moved more fluidly than the rest of them and he was in the middle as they climbed the stairs and left my line of sight.

“You’ve got this weird look on your face. They aren’t that scary. I do like their suits, though.” August laughed.

“Augs. Auggie. August Micheal. That was the guy.” I hissed. He blinked at me for a moment, probably struggling to make out my words with the background noise and loud music.

“What guy?”

“The customer!”

“Oh! Your little soul link!”

I rolled my eyes and shoved his shoulder lightly, “Stop calling it that. If anything, it was lust at first sight. You’re making it way too…you’re making it more. Too special.”

“River, beautiful, every meeting has the potential to be special. Even if it’s not the love of your life. I like to think our-“
I stopped listening. Bad habit. But my brain couldn’t focus on August when all I could think about was the fact that he was here. He wasn’t supposed to be. It was supposed to be a one-time meeting and then I’d never see him again. Letting out a sigh, I stood quickly.

“I’m going to go get some more drinks.”

“I’m not going to argue bu-“

I was off the little landing and making my way down to the bar before I let him finish. That was two times now that I hadn’t given my friend my complete attention. I nodded at the bartender. He had pretty tan skin, light eyes, and he gave me a look that definitely wasn’t professional. I had a feeling that if certain cards were played right, a drink might not be all I could get from him. I smirked at him, but my mind was 100 miles away.

What exactly did it mean that I’d never seen this man before and now I’d seen him twice in as many days? I sighed. Nothing. The rational part of my brain was already over the other part’s shit. It didn’t mean anything. It was just by chance. The word coincidence existed for a reason. My shoulders dropped as I let rationality slip through my body and relieve the tension. The bartender finally came to take my order and I gave it to him. I also gave him a long lingering look that was answered with a hungry expression. There were worse ways to take my mind off things.
He handed me my drinks and I shifted my hand to hold the napkin he’d folded and placed against the side of one of the drinks. I smirked at him. He grinned up at me through dark lashes and I swept my gaze over him. I only let it drop when he turned away to walk to the other end of the bar. Licking my lower lip, I appreciated how nice he was from this angle before spinning around to return to August. Wiggling through people and throwing a couple smiles around, I finally maneuvered back to him after what felt like years. Only to find a table full of drinks.

“I tried to tell you,” August laughed, leaning back against the seat before taking a drink,

“Bottle service baby. You didn’t have to go amongst the peasants.”

I shook my head and added my glasses to the ones on the table, “Gross, don’t talk about other people like that.”

“What’s that?” August asked and the wad of napkin fell onto the moist table. It was so hot in here with all the people moving that the condensation was insane. He fished it off the table and raised an eyebrow,

“Nicky?”

“The bartender.” I shrugged, taking a shot and humming as it warmed my insides as it went down.

“Damn, I miss you. The game you have! I’m in a band and I can’t pull anything except a kid who I’m pretty sure might not even like me.” August cringed when the words left his mouth and hurriedly took a shot like I had.

“Whoa, alright. We’re not going to act like you didn’t just say that.” I frowned, setting everything including the number napkin down.

“We should…do just that. Act like I didn’t say anything.” August grinned but there was sadness souring it.

“August.”

“Ugh, maybe when I haven’t been drinking. I’m not willing to talk about it when I’m intoxicated. I don’t want to word things wrong.”

He was making excuses. August's tolerance was well above my own. He wasn't black out say-things-I-don't-mean drunk. Even so, I wasn't going to push. He'd talk to me when he was ready. Instead of prying, I leaned over, resting my head on his shoulder, “Whatever you want.”

“So, you going to call Nicky? I hate that, by the way. Is he six?” August shook his head, kissing my hair as I recovered from the violent whiplash the subject change gave me.

I shrugged, glancing back to the bar where Nicky was moving back and forth quickly. He was good looking and interested. At this point, that was all I really required. The bar was low. Tilting my head back, I jumped a bit. In one of the VIP rooms, there was someone standing right by the window now. Arms behind their back as they looked down at the dance floor below. Swallowing, I squinted, manifesting super sight for myself. It didn’t work. I couldn’t make out anything but the person’s silhouette. Shaking my head, I scooted over, curling into August. I’d snatched another drink off the table in front of us and sighed in contentment when August’s arm draped over me.

My brain decided this was the perfect time to go through my entire schedule for the week. Tattoos, tattoos, more tattoos. Then I had things I would be posting to my site. It was the same time every time on the same days of the month. The content varied, but it’d just be pictures this time. I still got nervous every time. It was hard not to. Putting yourself on any kind of stage took courage. Doing it naked? That called for a special kind of crazy. There were two sides to my coin. Hopelessly insecure with a sprinkle of self-loathing on one side. God complex on the other. Some days, I thought I was the hottest thing on the face of the earth. Other days…I didn’t like to think about those days.

I knew I wasn’t unfortunate looking. I was above average height. I maintained a bit of muscle. If you liked pink hair, tattoos, and piercings, I was your guy. Rationally, I wouldn’t make money if I was unfortunate looking, but try telling my brain that. Sighing, I let my head fall back on August’s shoulder. He grinned at me, and I yawned.
“You good to go?” Fingers coasted gently over my cheek, and he guided a piece of hair out of my face.

“I’m so tired. I don’t know how you aren’t.”

“Friend, if I didn’t do things because I was tired, I’d never do anything.” August shifted and stood, yanking me to my feet with him.
I was grateful. It’d been a long day and after a certain point, alcohol just made me drag even more if I already was. My limbs felt like they weighed 100 pounds each and as August linked our fingers, I trudged behind him. Weaving through bodies, I ran my fingers through my hair. I glanced at the bar and cringed. I’d left his number on the table. Guess Nicky was going to fade into memory as something that could’ve happened. I expected to be disappointed, but I was starting to admit things to myself. It’d started a few weeks ago. Maybe even longer than that.

This wasn’t what I wanted anymore. Sure, I felt great in the moment, but I was getting sick of sweaty bodies, loud music, and awkward mornings. Maybe I should get a puppy or something. They were less stress and effort than adding another human to my life would be. Plus, it was unconditional love. Name one person who wasn’t a fan of that.

I cringed to myself, trying to imagine being responsible for something’s survival. I’d have to walk it. My hours were crazy. I wouldn’t be able to spontaneously stay at work an extra five hours. No, I must adhere to a schedule to keep a dog healthy. That’s something I wasn’t willing to do. So, no dog for River. At least another human could come and go. They’d be able to feed themselves. I tilted my head to the side as I weighed the pros and cons of a human companion versus a canine one. Hell, maybe I wasn’t ready for either. I’d get a fish. Start small and simple.
The silence had stretched out between us as we found our way out, to the valet, and then into August’s obnoxious green sports car. Snuggled into the seat as he drove, I glanced over at August, “Should you be driving.”

“I’m not even tipsy. Rockstar remember? This was a light night for us really. Am I dropping you off? Are you coming with me? What are we doing?” The inside of the car was lit with neon green lights that offended my eyes. I wasn’t sure if it came that way or August paid extra for it, but it was offensive to every part of my eye.

“You can come to mine if you want.” August grinned and I smiled at the almost relieved expression on his face. He had a loft, but I knew for a fact that he hated being there for extended periods of time. It was too big for one person. I had far less money, but my apartment felt like home to some of my friends more than their own homes did. Alec and August’s houses were all clean lines, modern furniture, and neutral colors. My house was…not those things.

The drive home was enough time for me to nearly melt into the seat. When Auggie parked horribly in the parking garage and I had to get out, I almost whined. We dragged ourselves to the elevator and somehow made it to my door. I opened the door and I felt some of the stress I’d built up over the course of the day, evaporate. It wasn’t huge. The front door opened right into my living room. The walls were eggplant purple, with the farthest wall bare as I slowly worked a mural across it. August stumbled past me into the small kitchen that was to the left. I continued forward, unbuckling the harness hugging my chest. I dropped it on the espresso-colored leather couch and kicked off my shoes.

A half-full bottle of water sans cap came into view, and I accepted it gratefully. I chugged the rest and turned to August who had a strange look on his face. He met my eyes but didn’t say anything, so I let it go. For now. I unbuttoned my shirt as I walked to the small bathroom. I had a random craving for a bath, but I let it pass quickly. That was way too much work. Every room other than my living room was painted black. The entire place was pretty much a canvas. There were paints everywhere. More in some rooms than others. For instance, there was an entire cart loaded with supplies in the living room. I needed them for the huge dragon that was coming into existence there. I’d not done much in the bathroom. Some bamboo, a crane, and then the largest wall in the small room had cherry blossoms.

Thankfully, I didn’t have any appointments tomorrow and I’d already told Lukas I’d be in later. I was starting to feel like garbage and I was beginning to wonder if I’d go in at all. I wouldn’t be in the mood for walk ins. Then again, at this point in my career, I rarely was. I would much prefer to be picky and just use my time for passion pieces, but that wasn’t my realty. I did like being able to eat regularly.

Toweling my face dry after washing it, I grabbed the little packet of makeup remover wipes. Padding out into the living room again, I sighed when August was nowhere to be found. Yawning, I quickly found him in my bedroom. He was curled up amongst my blankets and pillows. The mix of burgundy and navy made his skin look even paler and there was a lot of it as he’d stripped to his boxers.

“Comfy?” He made a soft noise of agreement and I poked his ankle, “Wipe your face off. We’re too old to sleep in makeup. Plus yours is all smeared.”

“River?” I raised an eyebrow as he kept his eyes closed but rolled onto his back, “We’ve been trying for so long, do you think we come out of this life happy with how we live?”

I winced, “Just clean your face.”

I threw the packet at him and didn’t wait to see if he caught it as I finished undressing. I climbed onto the bed next to him and pulled up the covers. He was quiet, but it looked like he had taken his eyeliner off. He was on his side now, studying me silently. I mirrored his position and grinned at him.

“Don’t start getting all philosophical. It’s bed time.”

He smiled softly at me, “Fine. Fine. You know the guys just want you safe and happy right? I know I don’t have to tell you that.”

“Yet here you are.” I grinned, “Telling me that.”

He shook his head and shifted around as he got comfortable. I watched and then turned over to lay facing away from him. I squeezed my eyes closed and took a deep breath. As I felt my breath slowing and could hear August’s do the same, I swallowed hard. Playing with the blanket, I mumbled softly, “After everything we’ve been through and how hard we work at it. We’ll be happy. We have to.”

Well, Jesus Christ, I'm not scared to die

I'm a little bit scared of what comes

after

Do I get the gold chariot?

Do I float through the ceiling?