Starcutter - 5. Chapter 5

The duo seemed to fall into something of a routine. Gabe woke early every morning at 0430 to go help with the morning meal. He would shower and then get dressed. That first morning, when he went to get dressed, he found a clean set of clothes laid out in the sitting room. He looked at them curiously. Did I put them there? he asked himself. Then he recalled he was no longer alone in his rooms and looked in to see Ryle was fast asleep, his claws tucked under his chin and he was softly cooing. Gabe smiled softly and laid out some food for Ryle for when he woke.

After his duties in the kitchens, and several other duties as he learned from the crew, Gabe went back to his room for lunch since it was a meal served in bags on the ship and didn't require his getting under foot. When he walked in with his sack lunch he found Ryle was tidying up the room. “Thanks for laying out my clothes this morning, Ryle.”

“Thank you for laying out my breakfast.” Gabe smiled and saw something of a smile in Ryle's eyes as well. “As you can see I still have some left over.”

“Then join me.” Ryle nodded and grabbed a small seedcake. When he went to the other side of the room and squatted on the floor Gabe looked a bit curious. “You can sit at the table.”

“Yes, I could, but it would hurt.” Gabe looked shocked. “My tail nub.” Gabe felt like a fool. Why hadn't he thought about that in terms of offering? It would take a special seat or a perch of some sort to accommodate his tail.

“I didn't think about that. I'm sorry.”

“There is no need to apologize. When I was first around humans I wondered how they could walk without the dewclaw in the back.” Gabe laughed which got a smile from the hybrid.

Gabe just looked at Ryle as if seeing him for the first time. He was handsome. If he was able to get out some of the stains from unsanitary conditions from his past, his skin would be flawless. His eyes were slightly larger than a human's would be for his size and it gave the impression that he was always a bit surprised. His nose was beak-like, but not so much as to make it seem out of place. His lips were thin and pale and had a small scar on the lower right. Probably from some fight or beating. When he smiled, some unknown mystical alignment turned him into some sort of angelic being.

“Gabriel, why are you staring at me?”

“Sorry. I was wondering how you got the scar on your lip. Also, did you need special hygiene products for your...hair.” He didn't know if it was hair or simply really delicate feathers.

“The scar was me falling from the nest when I was a hatchling.” Gabe sighed inwardly, relieved that it was just a normal injury and not one inflicted by violence. “I...have never been given the necessary items for proper hygiene.”

“Not even soap?” Ryle lowered his eyes and shook his head. Gabe was coming to realize that the Cana knew he wore his emotions in his eyes and averted them to have some sort of privacy. “You are welcome to use anything you find in the washroom. I'll get a few more towels from Meg and see if there is anything special you might need. If nothing else, I'm curious to see what you look like healthy, happy, and with all your feathers.”

Gabe knew he touched on another sore spot when Ryle winced. “Before you apologize, I did this to myself. No one wants you if you look like this. They want pretty things.” Gabe just looked at him until Ryle looked back up, fearing the worst. He was not dumb. He knew a lovely face and a lean body was attractive. When Ryle nodded, Gabe's eyes closed and he blinked away a tear.

“Oh, Ryle, I am so sorry.”

Gabe opened them when he felt the body heat of his companion next to his leg. “Gabriel, you did not do it, so please do not take the burden of pain.”

“I still wish you had not...that it hadn't. And the worst part is I don't know what comfort I can offer. I noticed you don't liked to be touched, that even Meg's was making you stiff and ready to run. I don't know what to do if you feel upset. Were you human I would have a better idea, but this is so very new to me.”

Ryle's smile was almost bittersweet. “That you have expressed care is more than I deserve. I can't tell you what to do as I have never had someone comfort me. I was always sent to my cage,” he said softly. A cage? A literal cage? “Gabriel...what you told me last night showed you cared about me enough. I don't trust. I don't open up. I keep people away, especially male humans.” Gabe nodded, having more of his fears confirmed. “But since I have been here you have given me freedoms I never had, food, shelter, comforts, respect...and I wonder why.” Ryle stood and pulled a chair out from the table, perching on the edge with his knees under his chin.

“Because you are a thinking, feeling being. Everyone deserves to be acknowledged and accepted until they prove to be a liability to your life. I see you and see someone I could have been if my mother had not been as savvy. I could have been underfed, dirty, hurting, angry. I was lucky Mom gave me that care. Why should I not extend it to someone who needs it?

“I know we're still getting use to each other, I mean we met yesterday. I give to others what I want them to give back to me. If they treat me nicely, I do the same. If they treat me poorly, I do the same.”

“But I was insolent and you could have whipped me for it.”

Gabe laughed. “Ryle I will never take a whip to you or anyone else unless I'm defending a life. You have been hurt. Abused. Many things I can only guess at and if even half those guesses are true, then I would hate to have been you.” Ryle nodded and lowered his eyes again, a few memories flashing across them. “So you developed a smart mouth and a bad attitude. Being here, I have seen far worse than what you have given me.” Ryle looked up through the minimal lashes he had with a soft smile. “So, you can have your attitude when warranted. I have one too and it might be as bad as yours. Or worse, like the Captain's.”

* * *

As the time passed they did get used to each other. When Ryle was upset, he would go to his bed and hide under the covers or under the bed itself. Gabe would let him be for a few minutes and then poke his head in the room to see if he wanted to talk. If Gabe had a particularly horrid day, he would do the same and go sit in his room with a databook with Ryle asking him later if he wished to talk. They shared lunch every day and would just talk, relaxing some of their walls in the safety of their rooms.

One day Gabe had gotten home earlier than normal and heard the shower running. The door to the washroom was open and he could hear Ryle crooning out a melody and he stopped in his tracks. Ryle's speaking voice was soft when he was happy, but there was no hint of the beauty that his singing voice had. Gabe was mesmerized at how wondrous it was. The purity of tone could never be reproduced by a human or instrument and with each note Gabe felt his heart soaring. He could see it in his mind. The blue sky stretched out before him, dotted by clouds that playfully floated in a game of tag, the ground so far below that troubles seemed to disappear. The feel of freedom filled his mind and he had no care left in the world.

When the water shut off Gabe was slammed back to reality and the singing stopped. Something in him told him to quietly leave and come back in a moment. When he did, he knew he was doing the right thing. For someone like Ryle, this singing was a very personal thing and Gabe felt he had intruded. It would be the same as if someone walked in while he was masturbating and just watched with rapture on their face.

Waiting a moment, he opened the door to the room. “Ryle, I'm home ear...” He stopped when he saw Ryle was half way across the room, toweling his hair and facing away. That is until he looked back with the most shocked look on his face. Gabe had now seen his companion stark naked and when he turned around, his face turning so red, he couldn't help but smile at the mirrored mortification on Ryle's face. “Um...sorry.”

“Gabriel...you're...uh...shit. NO! I mean you're home early, you're not shit! You're great! I'm going to go die of shame now. Forgive me, Master.” Ryle fled to the other room and closed the door quickly. Had he lingered he would have seen Gabe peeking over his shoulder to get a fleeting look.

Wow! Nice butt, Gabe thought and felt a bit guilty. He knew he should not be thinking such things about Ryle. From everything the Cana HADN'T told him, he knew he had a bad past with men using him however they pleased. He wasn't eye candy. He wasn't a sexual object. He was a person...who happened to have a nice round bottom, a cute tail nub, more in the front than Gabe had seen on men two feet taller...and the scars of more beatings than any slave Gabe had seen. They were livid from the heat of the shower, bright red lines against the pale flesh. Some even seemed like they happened the day Gabe met him. All that beauty, and yet so much pain visibly scarred across his body. Gabe wanted to weep for him, but Ryle wanted no tears. How could someone be that cruel?

“Gabriel, I am sorry you had to see me in such a...”

“Ryle, I walked in on you. No apology is necessary.” He turned to see him wearing one of the outfits Gabe had made for him. The high neck accentuated his graceful lines from head to toe. Gabe smiled. “I didn't realize your hair was that blond.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Ryle flushed a bit. “When it's grown in, it has golden highlights.”

“It looks good. I hope I'm not offending you by saying that.” He was suddenly conscious of everything had ever said. Had he ever stepped over some line he didn't know about?

“No. I...it's nice to hear it and not get...chosen right after.” Gabe watched as Ryle's eyes clouded over, but he shoved the horrifying memories away. “Why home so early? I don't even have your change of clothes laid out. I am...”

“Not responsible for my clothing, although thank you for everything you have done around here.” Gabe wished he could give the male a hug to let him know how much he was appreciated.

“It is my pleasure. You...you make it easy.” Ryle perched on the edge of the chair as he was wont to do now. It made Gabe happy to see him there. It was one of the few victories he had; getting Ryle to the table and using chairs was one step closer to having him seen as an equal. “You never demand. You always ask. You take better care of me than all of my other masters combined. I've...For the first time in many years I look at myself in the mirror and wonder if I could chance taking care of myself.”

Gabe's smile was beaming. “Your health is important to me. In a legal sense I own you. I wish it were different, but until you reach your next birthday, I can't even petition to free you.”

Ryle's eyes went wide. “How...how did you know when I could be freed?”

Gabe went into the other room while he talked. “I called back to my dad David. It's been almost a year since Mom died and I haven't really talked to him. It was still too fresh for the both of us and I know he needed his space to grieve his way. He's doing well.” Gabe came in with the change of clothes for his afternoon assignments. Learning to pilot and operate the ship was probably his favorite duty. He put them in the wash room. “I asked him to check on it and he told me.”

“David. He is the man that raised you?”

Gabe laughed. “Yeah, although he was pretty clueless. He was the one my mom married. He gave us a home and a life that got Mom out of the streets. He didn't know what to do with a child, so he simply let Mom raise me and he provided for us. Not the worst parenting, really.” Gabe sat down and began to unlace his boots. Ryle hopped off the chair and went to do the other one.

The first time he did it Gabe told him he didn't have to, but Ryle said he had to care for his master as best as he could. After reminding him twice, Gabe gave up and let the Cana do as he saw fit. Gabe could tell him to stop, but he didn't like giving orders. Plus it was nice to have someone pamper him a bit. The crew never did.

“He taught me to read and to cypher. It was all to get ready to run the business when he retired. I expected to go into it for my apprenticeship.” Ryle took his work boots to the storage set aside for them and brought out the shined boots for when Gabe worked on the bridge. “All in all he's a good guy...but Mom's illness and death hit him hard.” Gabe wondered if he should burden Ryle with his past. While it was nowhere near as bad as his, the feelings were still very fresh and still very buried,

“If you want to share, I'll listen.”

Gabe leaned back and closed his eyes. “He threw himself into his work to pay for the medical care. It nearly bankrupted him, but he did it. He left the care of mom to the nurses and when they said it was futile...he left her care to me. I was fourteen when mom got sick and fifteen when I had to take over her care.” Gabe took a deep breath and shoved down the pain. He wasn't ready to pull it up and let that scab bleed out his hurt. “That's more than I've told anyone aboard.” He opened his eyes to see Ryle was there with his claw only a small distance from his leg. The Cana looked up as if he was fighting his own demon to touch Gabe mixed with wondering if Gabe would be okay with being comforted. When Gabe said nothing, Ryle put his claw on Gabe's knee gently and Gabe sobbed once making Ryle pull back. “No, it's okay. It's just...it's hard. Mom and David were all I had until I came here. I've lost both of them, pretty much. The Captain is not one for emotional support like this and Meg would...I don't know.” Ryle put his claw back and smiled up at him.

“I am here for you,” he said softly. A single tear fell down Gabe's cheek but he smiled.

“Thanks, Ryle. I hope that someday I can extend the hand to comfort you.” The look in Ryle's face was one of wonder and curiosity. “I don't wish to make you uncomfortable or to push your boundaries. I have seen your hurting and I wanted to hold you and tell I was here and that I would help you...but you don't like to be touched. Especially by human males.”

“Really? I thought...you didn't want to touch me.” Gabe sniffled a bit and shook his head. Tentatively Ryle laid his head on Gabe's knee. It was an invitation and Gabe laid his hand on Ryle's head. The hair was softer than anything a human could hope to have, even as disheveled as it was. Both young men looked at each other and that moment of closeness let them see they were not so different. Both of them were hurting, longing for someone to make it better. The cause of the pain was different, but the pain was real and they now knew that here was someone they could find comfort with.

“Your hair is so soft.”

Ryle smiled. “It's hideous. It is because I wanted it to be,” he said to stop Gabe from commenting. “This is the first time I have been touched with kindness in fifteen of your years.” Gabe wondered how anyone could go through...

“Wait...you were five when you were taken for slavery?”

Ryle looked like he was going to pull away, but he said, “Three. My family was accused of harming a person's cattle. Foori...left. Mooru was allowed to raise me until I was five.” This was the first intimate thing Ryle had shared.

“Fowree and Mowroo?”

“Father and mother.” Gabe nodded. He had just learned his first Canari words.

“So young to be taken from your family. And what judge in their right mind would give that sentence. You're vegetarians. Why harm cattle?”

Ryle looked away. “I never said a judge was involved.” Ryle felt Gabe's body tense and he looked back up to such fury on the lad's face. “I am sorry to upset you.”

“It is not you. I'm so angry that this happened to you.” Gabe took a deep breath and smoothed Ryle's hair. The Cana cooed and leaned into it without meaning to, pulling back when he realized what he had done. “Too intimate?”

“No. I...surprised myself.” Gabe laughed, glad to have something to help dispel the rage he felt. “But I keep you from your shower, Gabriel.” Ryle stood and grabbed a bite of seedcake from the table. His daily portions were left out for him. When he had seen how much he was given he wondered if Gabe was trying to fatten him up for slaughter.

“I can take a hint. I stink.”

“Yes.” Gabe laughed and took off his work shirt and threw it at Ryle. It hit him in the face and just hung there. Gabe knew he had done something cruel when Ryle began to tremble. Then he realized Ryle was laughing. “I deserved that,” he said from under the shirt. Gabe went to get undressed in the wash room.

After his shower Gabe noticed the discarded clothing was gone. He smiled at the still closed door and began to shave. Ryle had come in and taken them away for laundering and Gabe never heard a thing. As Gabe began to shave, he thought about it. Ryle was there, in the room, when he was naked and washing his nether regions. How much did he see? He wondered. That thought alone gave Gabe a few thoughts he found pleasant. Images of Ryle standing there and Gabe feeling shocked. Them in the shower lazily washing each other. The thoughts led to some arousal. Gabe stamped it down, feeling shame for even thinking like that. “Why must he be so lovely?” he asked aloud.

“Did you say something, Gabriel?” Ryle asked from the other room.

“Nothing. Just talking to myself.”

“Rude of yourself not to answer.”

Gabe chuckled.