Starcutter - 20. Chapter 20

Life seemed to stand still while they were at David's. Days passed, yes, and time did fly, but life didn't change. Nothing had changed in the area for a hundred years. One thing people of Italy could depend on was how steeped in history, culture, and tradition their land was. This was both good and bad for Gabe.

Good because it was something familiar, something from before life had been turned upside down. Yes, the house was different. Yes, the coast was even closer than his previous home here. Yes, his mom was still gone. The feel of it though...it was the same. The people were the same. The same smiles and greetings should he venture out for a brief foray with Meg and Ryle. The same smells of delicious foods, some sold from small carts and made in the homes of the people nearby. The same sounds, the same styles of architecture. Time stood still, and it allowed Gabe to relax a bit.

Yet that sameness was also bad because he used it to hide from his problems. He was safe. He was loved. He was “home”. It was that feeling of home that showed the others that Gabe could and would try to ignore what had happened and not confront it. Where had his headstrong nature gone? His willingness to move forward? Where was that spark that was uniquely Gabriel?

“I refuse to believe he's gone weak,” said Ryle to the Captain.

“I did not say weak, Ryle.”

“No, but you meant it. You said he was hiding from his problems. Well no shit! I wish I had been able to hide from mine, but the only defense I had was to withdraw. To put up walls. To get angry. I wish I had someone around to let me hide for a bit.” Ryle's voice was laden with emotion. His chosen outlet was the Captain, a man who Ryle knew could handle any outburst like this. “He was raped, beaten, humiliated, and for no other reason than simple revenge. He was turned from a strong man into a small child, a frightened animal, in the space of minutes. So yes, he's hiding. He is NOT weak.”

The Captain stood and knelt beside Ryle, putting them at eye level. He placed a heavy, callused had on the alien's slender shoulder, which had a very surprising calming influence on the Cana. “He is not weak. I have come to know my son well enough to know he is not a weak man. Yet he does not seek to change, to move past this. What can we do? You are the only insight I have into what I can possibly do to help him rise out of this state. What can I do?”

Ryle saw the pain in the honestly hard man's eyes. His son's state was betraying the innermost feelings he always kept in check. “Nothing. The change has to come from him. He has to want it. He has to make that first step.” Ryle hung his head. “This was a good idea, coming here, but we can't stay long. He won't be the man we all know again until we leave. Hells, he will never be that man again no matter what.”

Silently, from her perch in the corner, Meg nodded.

“Then you must move on,” said David. “I know the boy the Gabriel was. Smart, tough, sociable, kind. He is still all that. Was the man any different?” he asked of them.

“Wiser. He came to me naïve and hurting, but he was all those things. His time on the Starcutter gave him experience, and with that, the wisdom only gained by it. Lessons learned the hard way.” The Captain knew how far Gabe had come.

“He learned to adapt. How long did his grieving last from his mother's death?”

“Maybe a month? He didn't have...time. He had to adapt, so he had to put aside his grief and survived.” The two men, the one who fathered him and the one who raised him shared a glance and nodded. “Meg, signal the ship. We leave in two days, rather than five. Ryle, I need to you to get Gabe ready by then. We are going to be heading out on a very dangerous and touchy mission. It will be very grueling, very difficult, and it all rides on your shoulders.”

“Mine?! O...okay. If it will help Gabe, then I am willing to do it.”

The Captain exhaled. “If I ever regretted purchasing you, they are forever gone now. I am proud to be your captain and to have you as the mate of my son.” Ryle hugged the Captain hard. “With this comes one big price. I will tell you what that price is and what will happen afterward, for it is you who must pay it.”

“Does it help Gabe?”

“Without a doubt. You as well.”

“Tell me.”

“You have to be put in the hospital.” Ryle listened to what the Captain said would be done. Ryle shook his head in disbelief. It could not be done. When he said how, Ryle sobbed into the Captain's shoulder.

The Starcutter left Earth's Spacedock, and once past the moon, it jumped into hyperspace. Gabe loved the small vacation to see David. It had been good to see him and visit Earth once again, but even he knew he could not stay. Everyone seemed to be walking on eggshells around him. Too afraid to even breathe wrong in fear of sending him back into that dark place he was still struggling to stay out of. Ryle wasn't bad; he knew. Meg was a constant pain for him, but then she was asking him to help out more and more in the bay as her pregnancy advanced.

Gabe no longer worked with Cook as he could not stand the confines of the small space with the Marines who also helped out. Too many big men in too small a space. Gabe worked almost solely with Meg and Ryle if he wasn't doing some work on the couples' jet or in one of the obscure cargo holds. No one bothered him unless they had to. Not only did they fear the Captain's wrath, and Ryle's deadly claws, they feared Gabe's anger. Since he had been back, there was a sense of anger and fear just below the surface. He was too strong to risk making upset, so they left him alone.

When he worked in the bay with Meg, he worked in the back. On some occasions the sounds of people entering had his head whipping towards the door. He would calm down after a moment, but that brief moment told Ryle that Gabe still had a long way to go. Other times he would poke his head out to force a quip out, to show that he was still there inside. A few times a Marine had to help him. These times were tense. Most of the times the task was done and over before Gabe had a chance to dwell on the fact that he had been alone with a powerfully built man. A few times they were extended, and he knew he was alone, but he was able to quell the flight response and get the job done in silence. One task was with Captain Jer, the biggest man on the ship other than the Captain. Jer made no small talk, made enough noise for Gabe to always know where he was at, and just did his job.

Once it was done, Jer had clapped Gabe on the back with a “Good job, kid,” and only then did he realize he had touched Gabe in a way that could be seen as aggressive.

Gabe grinned and gave him one back. “Same to you, Cap'n.” Jer and Gabe shared a look and smile and went about their days.

It was like that with him. He could be fine one moment and bad the next. He could react to the slightest noise or touch, or he could not react at all. Only Ryle and Meg seemed to be special. They held him, touched him, laughed with him. The Captain was special as he could be included at times, or he could just fade into the scenery. Hard for a man of his character and size to do.

One morning The Captain visited Gabe in his quarters. The pair were just getting ready when the knock came on the door. Gabe stumbled to the door to check the screen to see who it was. He opened the door, still buttoning his shirt. “Father, what brings you by?”

“I have something I need to do and I would like your help doing it. Meg has been told you will be with me today. In fact, you will be doing this from 0600 to 1200 every day until further notice.”

Gabe blinked a few times. “Will I need certain attire?” The Captain never doled out orders in person, but he had said this was something they would be doing together.

“This will do for now, but from 0900 on you will be on the bridge with me, so dress in uniform.” Gabe nodded. “Ryle, You will need to be here from 0800 to when Gabe joins me on the bridge...and with us as needed.”

“Yes, Captain.”

“Good. Now, finish getting dressed, and join me in the mess.” Gabe's eyes went a bit wide, but he nodded. The Captain turned and marched away. The mess was loud, boisterous, and filled with men. Gabe stood with his back to the wall and he waited for his turn for chow, his eyes constantly scanning for potential trouble. “Who seems most likely to be able to strike at you hand to hand, Gabe? Other than those within five feet?”

Gabe blinked and looked at the Captain. Then he scanned the room. “Uthar as I pass the beam. V'rrin when I pass the bulkhead. Omar when I get to the counter. Cook whenever the hell he wants.” The Captain chuckled.

“Good assessment. Why not the rest?”

“Blocked from easy access. Unless the entire crew were in on some sort of plot, they would be obstacles.” Gabe looked at his father's slight nod. “Which is what you're trying to get me to see. Stop seeing phantoms and look for the real threats.”

“I am glad you have come along enough to see a lesson for what it is. Also for trusting in me enough to protect you.”

Gabe smiled a bit. “I do, Father. To some extent.”

“And why is that?” the Captain asked.

“You are a cutthroat pirate of some note. Never fully trust that sort.” Gabe's grin was a good sign that he was in a good mood so far. He was thinking and not just reacting.

“Truth.”

The Cook personally handed Gabe his meal, a covered tray like the rest. “This way you know no one has tampered with it unless I did it before.”

Gabe took it with his thanks. It showed that Cook cared in his own way. The Captain led him to his table and sat with Gabe's back to the room. “Relax and eat. I will be watching. You need to eat for the task ahead.” Gabe sat stiffly, but he did sit.

When he opened the tray, he laughed outright. It was his favorite cereal from when he was a child, complete with the tiny marshmallows. The portion was a lot bigger, but it was the same cereal. Even had strawberries cut up in it. “Really, Father?”

“I heard you liked it. Was I wrong?” The Captain's grin was huge.

“Not at all.” Gabe was too distracted to feel threatened.

After breakfast, father and son went to a very secluded part of the ship, one only very high ranking officers were allowed in. Gabe followed the Captain down into the engine room and into a place that had a very heavy door. “I know this place is out of the way and you will be alone with me, but I need you to do this. I can trust no one else with this.”

Gabe hadn't realized how much the Captain trusted him. He probably would have Meg do it, but she's pregnant. “I will do my best, Father. I feel I can do this, if you are ready to give me a little space if I need it.”

“Need, yes. Want, no. This is difficult, and we will be in very close proximity for safety. I could postpone this maybe one or two more days, but not much more than that. It must be you and me.” The Captain was firm on this.

Gabe could see no easy way to say no. His father was trusting him with something very vital. “I...I don't know if I'm ready.”

“You are. I have seen the strides you have made to get this far, and I know you still have more to go, but I believe in you.”

Gabe squared his shoulders and nodded. The Captain opened the door and led Gabe in. The room had a very narrow catwalk over some machinery that Gabe had never seen. He had seen a lot, but this was more advanced than anything he had seen before. “Where are we?”

“That is the stardrive.” Now it made sense. Without this, the Starcutter could not use their notorious weapon.

“No wonder it is so well shielded.” Gabe had noted the amount of plating and shielding that he had passed at each bulkhead. It was better protected that the bridge by far. “Is it safe to be in here?”

“When the weapon is not charged, it's as safe as handling a toaster.” The Captain led them along the catwalks, some of them being no more than two feet wide, and into an open room.

Gabe's eyes widened. Here was the bay that housed the cannon's muzzle. The bay doors were open to space, the shields keep the atmosphere in, and Gabe could see the stars move lazily by. They were still under normal drive and the view was spectacular. “I feel like I can just step through and touch a star.”

“Let's not.” Gabe looked over at the Captain who was stripping off his coat. Gabe marveled at the broad back of his father as he was shirtless. He also wondered how many of the scars had great tales. “You duties in the morning are arms training with me.” The Captain turned around with various weapons being put on a table that rose from the flooring.

“I...don't think that's a good idea.”

“Good or not, I will not have you in that same place again. I will not have my son be a victim. Not when I know you're stronger than that.” Gabe looked away.

“What if I'm not? What if I...can't?”

“Then I will have to bring them back to life and kill them slowly for hurting you.” Gabe's mouth twitched in a smile. “That little smirk gives me hope that you will get through this. This, will help, I believe.” The Captain tossed him a baton. “Now, do not hold back. I am going to come at you, and I want you to defend yourself. If I don't walk out of here with at least one bruise, then you aren't trying.”

Gabe looked at the baton. It wasn't he favored weapon, but knives right now would be bad for his father. “What if...I lose it? What if I hurt you too much?”

“Then I know you will be just fine if anyone tries to attack you again.” The Captain rushed Gabe and watched Gabe's eyes widen before he dropped into a huddle, the baton clattering to the floor. “Interesting maneuver. Do you call it the scared turtle?”

“Not funny,” said Gabe.

“No, it's pathetic. Get up, dust yourself off, and try again.”

Three more times the Captain rushed him, three more times Gabe panicked. This was going to be a very difficult mission.