Always - 13. Ch-ch-changes (and Epilogue)

I don’t think I’ve ever felt so safe or slept so peacefully in my entire life! I was the center of a hot boy sandwich all night. The three of us held on to each other, and I know I got a shitload of comfort feeling Billy and Noah all night.

Sadly, the alarms on all of the phones went off at the same time, making us scramble to find them and turn them off. It must have been a sight, three naked boys with hard-ons running around the bedroom trying to find our phones so we could silence them.

Once the noise was stopped, we all stood in the middle of the room, facing each other. This was the part I was afraid was going to be awkward and cause problems. Nope! Noah was the one who spoke up first.

“Thanks again for the most amazing night of my life. I love you both more than life itself, but I also know that you two are the main couple. If you two ever want me to join in with you again, I would love that. But, please know that the last thing I want to do is mess up what you guys already have.”

Billy smiled his goofy grin and said, “I have a feeling last night was more than a one-time thing. I know Nick and I both love you, too. I appreciate more than you’ll ever know what you just said, and that makes my relationship with the two of you even more special.”

It was getting way too sentimental, so I chimed in with, “I love you both more than anything in the world, but we smell like sex and need showers. Should we conserve water?”

And we did. Now, I love showering with Billy, but with the three of us, it was a blast—both figuratively and literally. We all soaped and cleaned each other. There was a lot of kissing, and of course, that led to three loads splashing the shower walls. So we soaped each other up again!

We got dressed, and I wore a blue polo, jeans, and my white sneakers. It was the closest thing I had to looking like Evan Hansen. Billy and Noah dressed as close to their characters as well, and we all headed out to breakfast.

As we sat down, Maddie texted Billy and asked if he could pick her up on the way to school. It wasn’t that far out of the way, and Noah suggested that we all go in his car. But I have to say, the closer we got to leaving the house, the more nervous I was getting!

I was a mess by the time Billy and I piled into the back seat of Noah’s car. Noah, of course, helped with another of his bits of wisdom. “Nick, you need to chill, dude. Think of it this way—when you’re totally excited about something—or when you think you're nervous about something—physically, it’s the exact same feeling. You just override your tiny little brain and go to the excited place!”

“He’s right, Nick—and you know that brain of his has to be tinier than yours!”

And so we laughed and kidded each other all the way to pick up Maddie. When we got to the McCallister’s, she was standing at the edge of the driveway so she could hop right in and we could get on our way.

“Guys! I can’t wait to hear your songs in class today! You are just gonna kill it!”

I was finally in that excited place as we parked the car and headed into the school. That’s when it started. Shouts of “Nick!” “Welcome back, dude!” and “Glad you’re okay, man!” were coming from the other students. I remember Mrs. Rodriguez’s advice and smiled or waved back. If they need a hero, then so be it—they’ll forget about me in a week or two.

But the strangest thing I got out of the whole thing was that I wasn’t “the new kid” anymore. Pretty much everyone knew who I was, and they all made me feel like I was part of them. Cool! Very cool!

We went to the cafeteria right away and met up with the other musical theatre kids. When I got to the table, everyone was getting a little over-excited to see me, but Noah put an end to it.

“Guys! Guys! Sit down. This is going to be hard enough for Nick. He doesn’t want a big fuss made. Let the boy enjoy his first day back, k?”

That was nice of Noah to stick up for me, but I felt like I should put in my own two cents’ worth. “I appreciate the ‘welcome back.’ I really do. But I have to perform in about twenty minutes, and I’m kind of a nervous, hot mess about that.”

A cute Hispanic boy looked up at me and asked, “Whatcha gonna sing?”

“Billy, Noah, and I are doing “Sincerely, Me,” and then I’m gonna sing “Waving Through a Window.”

Billy put his hand on my shoulder and beamed, “Wait ‘til you hear him sing. Y’all are gonna be sooooo fucking impressed.”

“Language, McCallister!” A teacher was walking by just as Billy spoke. Ha!

“Sorry, Mr. Franks. It won’t happen again!”

“Right!?!” The teacher just walked on without missing a beat, and everyone at the table started cracking up.

Maddie had gone through the line and came back with a tray of donuts and four café mochas. She’s pretty much perfect for a girl!

“Did I miss anything?”

Noah took a swallow of his dring and said, “Not much, other than your brother dropping an f-bomb in front of Franks!”

“I guess it’s good that it was in front of Franks and not some other teacher!”

Everyone seemed to agree with her, and we finished up our before-school snacks. The bell rang, and Noah looked at me. “You ready for this, Jacobs?”

“Yeah. I’ll be glad when it’s over, though.”

Billy put his arm over my shoulder and squeezed it. “You have nothing to worry about. Miss Garner is going to flip out when she hears you sing!”

We all walked into the classroom and took a seat. Miss Garner came over and welcomed me back. She asked if I needed anything, and I just asked her to keep this hero stuff on the down-low. I told her I understood where it was coming from, but I just wasn’t all that comfortable with it. She just smiled at me and said, “Whatever you want.”

The bell rang, the roll was taken, and Miss Garner told everyone we had a couple of performances to start off the class. But first, the pianist took us through some vocal warmups. Then the three of us stood up and started doing “Sincerely, Me.”

Wow! That was a mind-blowing experience. The class went crazy when we finished. Even Miss Garner was standing with everyone.

Billy and Noah took their seats and left me standing alone in front of the class. Miss Garner asked me to introduce my solo and wanted me to tell the class why I chose this particular song.

“So, I’m going to sing “Waving Through a Window” from Dear Evan Hansen. The first time I heard this song, I was kind of blown away. It was like they wrote it with me in mind. Evan is this kind of social misfit that doesn’t seem to fit in anywhere. That was me. I never really felt like I had a place in my old school. Part of it was that I was a foster kid. Part of it was my sexuality. Part of it was my own feelings about myself.” Well, look at that, I just came out to my entire class, and no one batted an eye!

I looked over to the pianist and nodded. She smiled at me and began the familiar (to me, anyway) introduction. I sang my heart out! I think the words meant even more to me since I didn’t have those self-doubts or negative self-images anymore.

For a singer, there is a particular reaction to your performance that is the best thing in the world. It’s that 3-5 seconds of silence between the end of the song and the beginning of the applause. And that’s exactly what happened.

Of course, I smiled, then blushed, then looked down to the floor. I kinda let my eyes sneak a look at Billy and Noah, and they were beaming. That made me feel incredible!

Just then, I felt someone move up to me. It was the principal, Mr. Jeffers.

“Son, that was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard. Miss Garner, could I please speak with Mr. Jacobs out in the hall?”

She agreed, and I followed Mr. Jeffers. When we got outside the classroom, Mr. Jeffers assured me that I wasn’t in trouble. Apparently, he wanted to schedule a school-wide assembly to talk about the incident last week. When he asked if I would be willing to speak to the student body.

“Mr. Jeffers, please understand that the last thing I want to do is anything that is going to make this “hero” stuff go on any longer than it already has been. What you just heard—my singing—that’s what I want to be known and remembered for. I really just want to go on with my life and my musical theatre. Please don’t make this any harder for me than it already is.”

“Son, I might be a little disappointed, but I understand and will grant your request. But since we already had an assembly the day everyone returned to school, I won’t bother with another one. I really wanted to introduce you to the student body, but we’ll go ahead and do it your way.”

He sent me back into class and the rest of the day was pretty quiet. I guess mostly because no one really knew me. Every now and then, I’d hear a “Go Jacobs!” or get a pat on the shoulder with a “thank you.” Either way, it wasn’t nearly as bad as I was afraid it was going to be.

At lunch, Billy got a text from his mom saying he and Maddie needed to get home right after school. Apparently, his father returned from some project in London he’d been working on for several weeks.

Well shit! I wanted to get naked with my hot boy and do new and unspeakable things with him, his dick, and his ass!

After school was done, I was relieved that I had stayed caught up in everything with my homework while at the same time, I was disappointed that we had to drop Billy and Maddie off at their house. They were both curious and a little nervous about why their dad had come home unexpectedly. Billy promised to text me later before Noah and I headed home.

It actually worked out for the best. Noah spent the afternoon with me working on the Lord Farquaad music. Damn! This was going to be fun as fuck!

Just as Noah and I were finishing up the dinner dishes, I got a text from Billy

BILLYMAC: can u and noah come over? shit has hit the fan. PLEASE!!

NICKOJACO: sure baby. i’ll check w/ the dads and get back to you. everything ok?

BILLYMAC: nooooooooooo! i need you guys bad!

NICKOJACO: brb

I showed the text to Noah, and we went to make sure the dads would let us go over. I showed them the text, and they agreed that this wasn’t like Billy at all. They said we could go over but needed to back by 9:00 so we could finish up our homework.

Noah grabbed his keys, and as soon as we pulled out of the driveway, I texted Billy back to let him know we were on our way.

“Shit, Noah! I’m really worried. I’ve never seen Billy like this!”

“Me neither, bro. Surely it can’t be as bad as he’s making it sound. But whatever it is, we just need to let him know that we are there for him.”

We pulled up in front of the McCallister’s house about ten minutes later. We rang the doorbell, and Mrs. McCallister answered the door. She had the strangest look on her face, too!

“Billy’s out back. He’s been waiting for you.”

I had to ask, “Is everything okay?”

“Billy will explain everything. I’m sorry, boys. I truly am.”

Noah and I just gave each other a worried look and then headed to the back of the house, through the kitchen and great room, and out the patio doors. We saw Billy sitting on the end of a lounger with his head in his hands. Fuck! It looked like he was crying!

We both moved quickly to Billy’s side and put our arms around him.

“Billy, Noah and I got here as fast as we could—but what’s wrong?”

“What’s going on?”

Billy sniffed and wiped his face on his sleeve. “Guys, it’s terrible. I don’t know what to do! Dad came back to tell us that he was offered a permanent position in the London office. And they made it so he couldn’t turn it down—like triple the salary.”

“What the fuck?”

“When?”

“Dad has to go back tomorrow. But Mom, Maddie, and I are going over the week after school’s out.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! This had to be a bad dream or something. You know, like the bad dreams I used to have all the time. I looked at Noah, and he had tears falling out of his eyes, too. The three of us just held each other and cried for what seemed forever. What the fuck? I found the perfect boy, I was happier than I’d ever been in my life, and it was all blowing up in our faces!

“Maybe you could stay and finish school here! I mean, the dads and Noah took me in without much trouble. Surely they could take you in?”

“Yeah—Nick and I will talk to them as soon as we get home.”

“No. Dad called your dads as soon as you texted you were on the way. He told them what was happening and that if the idea of me staying behind with you guys came up, it wouldn’t be a possibility. Dad hates being in London without his family. He wants all of us there as soon as we can get there.”

“Fuck, Billy! What are we going to do? I love you!”

“I love you, too, Nicky! You’re my whole reason for having this amazing life I’ve found. Noah—you’ve always been my best friend! I don’t know what to do!”

“Billy—Nick—one thing will never change. No matter how far apart we find ourselves in our lives—we’ll always be best friends. And there’s still a few months before anything happens. We just have to make the best of the time we have together.”

“Is there any way your dad will let you go a little later so we three can still go to Disneyworld together?”

“I asked him, and he said that wasn’t a good idea. All it would be doing was putting off the inevitable.”

Billy got a chorus of “fucks” in each ear.

For the next hour, the three of us just sat—every now and then, someone would come up with an idea to change things, but they just got more far-fetched than the ones before. Soon enough, there was a text from Dad telling us we needed to get home since it was a school night, and he knew that neither of us had finished our homework.

So there it was. After a long, tearful, and sniffly hug with Billy, Noah and I headed home. We didn’t say a word the entire time—we didn’t have to. As we were pulling through the gate to our street, Noah took my hand.

“Nick, I know there isn’t anything I—or anyone—can say to make you feel better. But don’t forget, you have me to be there for you. I’m talking about someone to talk with, someone to listen—you know, someone to lean on.”

“I know—and if there’s anyone who can even come close to understanding how this hurts, it’s you. You’ve known Billy so much longer than I have, so I know it’s hurting you, too. Will you let me be there for you, too?”

After what turned out to be a wonderful front-seat-of-the-car hug, we got out and made our way into the house. We walked into the kitchen, and both dads were sitting at the island with strange looks on their faces—kind of a cross between worry and concern and caring. Well, that was all it took for me to finally let go of all the emotions I had been holding in since we got the news.

It was Dad who got up and wrapped me in his strong arms. He ran his fingers through my hair, whispering to me that we were all going to help each other get through this, that it will eventually get better.

That was the moment in my life when I realized how important it was to have a dad in your life. They let you know that it was okay to hurt, and with their strong arms wrapped around you, they also let you know that they were there to make you feel safe and protected.

Eventually, I was able to open my eyes and saw Noah having the exact same experience with Pop. That helped me stop crying—I mean, now I was worried about Noah. But I looked up at Dad and said, “Thank you. I’m sorry I’m such a baby. I know that’s not what you signed up for when you brought me into your family.”

Dad put his arms on my shoulders and pulled me away from his just long enough so he could look me in the eyes—my big, red, cry-baby eyes. “Are you kidding? This is exactly why we wanted you to be a part of this family. Nick—listen very carefully—someday, I hope you will get to experience the unconditional love and compassion that happens when a child of yours falls into your arms—wanting nothing more than your strength and love to help him deal with a tough situation. I know for me that’s the greatest thrill of being a dad—knowing that another human being needs me as much as life itself. Your Pop and I are here for you 24/7. For both you and Noah.”

Well, fuck! That was one of the most beautiful things anyone has ever told me, and you might find it hard to believe, but that started the floodgates flowing again. I got another ten minutes or so of Dad’s fucking amazing love and strength.

After a while, Noah and I calmed down enough to sit out on the patio with the dads and talk about what happened—along with what will probably happen over the next couple of months. Pop decided to head into the kitchen to whip of a batch (from scratch, of course) of hot chocolate, and when he returned, we all sat down again.

Okay, now let me tell you something about hot chocolate made from scratch. I mean, c’mon—it’s milk, cocoa, and real marshmallows floating on top. But if you wanna know the truth—I hope I never have to deal with fucking Swiss Miss ever again! Funny thing, though—the hot chocolate actually was helping Noah and me feel better.

Then Pop dropped another bombshell. Jesus! What a night! Only this was a fucking awesome bombshell.

“Nick, we were going to wait a few weeks for your birthday, but after the tough night you’ve had, Dad and I decided to go ahead and share this with you now. You see, a colleague of mine restores classic cars, and he’s running out of room at his house. He told me his wife demanded he gets rid of some of the cars.”

Pop pulled out his phone and scrolled through his photo album. Then he looked at me and smiled, “Son—God, do I love the sound of that!—your Dad and I are giving you a special birthday present.”

Holy. Fucking. Shit! He showed me a pic of a fully restored dark blue classic Mustang! What the fuck???

“Between the two of us, we will be teaching you to drive once you get your learner’s permit. Noah can show you online where you can study for the exam. Once you feel like you’re ready, we’ll drive you down to the DMV and get you your permit, and we can start teaching you to drive.”

Noah came around to look at the pic on Pop’s phone. “Whoah! Whoah! Nick, you are so gonna be the envy of everyone at school—and the theatre—and the city—probably the entire state! You’re gonna be driving the ultimate chick magnet.”

“Right!?! What a waste, huh?” Just then, I realized that for the first time in hours, I had this shit-eating grin on my face, and I wasn’t crying! Hey—Nick Jacobs might just be growing up!

I don’t know how many times I hugged Pop and Dad. Noah even got a few—it wasn’t fair to share my love with just two out of three!

Finally, about 10:00, Noah got up from the table and picked up the mugs. “Nick, we should probably get ready for bed. No matter what happened tonight, we still have school in the morning, and I have a bit more reading to do for English.”

“Yeah, I have a few more Algebra problems to deal with, too.” I gave each of the dads a huge hug. “Thanks again for everything you are to me—and do for me. Like I’ve said at least a hundred times, I don’t know what the Hell—um, heck—I’ve done to deserve all that you’ve done for me, but I sure hope I keep doing it. I love you both more than you will ever know!”

Noah and I went into the bedroom and shut the door. He wrapped his arms around me and gave me one of his signature hugs. “I’m so fucking glad we have each other. I think we’ll be able to get through all this as long as we do. I need you, Nick—and I hope you need me too.”

“More than I ever thought I would, Noah. You’ve always been there to help me through all kinds of shit—but I think this is gonna be one of those situations where I’m gonna need you more than ever.”

We kept holding each other with our faces next to each other, whispering in each other’s ear.

“Noah, I’m pretty sure I’m gonna need you to hold me tonight.”

“Of course, I’m gonna need you for that too.”

“But don’t take this the wrong way. As much fun as we had last night, I don’t want it to be about any kind of sex. I need my brother tonight—nothing else.”

“I’m glad you said that. We did have a blast last night, but things have changed a lot since then. I don’t think we need to use each other for some kind of rebound sex. I’m pretty sure that kind of thing never works out, and one—or probably both of us will end up getting hurt pretty bad.”

“Yeah, I get it. I love you, Noah—but I need my brother more than I need his body.”

“And by the way, Nick, am I allowed to be jealous as fuck of your new car?”

“It’s not new—it’s a rebuilt old-as-fuck car

So that’s how this fucking weird day ended. We finished studying and got ready for bed. We both climbed into my bed and held each other. Throughout the night, one of us would wake up to find the other crying, and we would just hold each other tighter for reassurance. I knew we would both be walking zombies at school tomorrow.

* * * * *

The next several weeks were just weird as shit. Billy and I tried to carry on like nothing was happening, but that turned out to be a total waste of time. Sure, we’d have sex, but it just wasn’t the same. It was like we were both afraid to let our hearts into it. They were already broken—what else could we do?

For my birthday, Dad drove Pop, Noah, and Me to the dude who had the Mustang. On the way over, it hit me that those old cars didn’t have air conditioning—and we were getting ready for another hot-as-fuck Texas summer. I didn’t dare say anything to anyone about that, though. The last thing I wanted anyone to think was that I was in the least bit ungrateful!

Well, was I in for a surprise! Mr. Hampton (Pop’s friend) found a company that had air conditioning kits for classic cars! Yes!! It was so cool! Even the controls were designed to look like all the other buttons and shit on the original dashboard. I was officially now dead and in heaven!

Billy got some good news about the same time as well. It turns out that his dad’s assistant was married to one of the admissions directors of the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Arts (LAMBDA), which apparently is one of the world’s top theatre schools. Mr. McCallister’s company wanted him there so badly, they offered whatever it would take to get him to stay.

Billy said that his dad had several conditions. One condition was that his son would need to finish his high school (they call it secondary over there) at a good theatre and performing arts school. While they couldn’t guarantee anything for sure, they made sure to put some pressure on the right people, and Billy was accepted to LAMBDA pending their viewing of his audition.

Once Billy got that letter, we had just two weeks to help him get his audition together. Miss Garner and the class pianist helped us work up his audition pieces. I was glad Billy wanted to include “Sincerely, Me” on his reel. I guess I had this deep-down, hidden fantasy that they would see Noah and me and insist that we come to London and be a part of the program.

Of course, that meant several nights at the house practicing—and bed fun later—usually, just Billy and me, sometimes with Noah joining in. But things were just not the same. I mean, c’mon—we’re teenagers, and there really isn’t such a thing as bad sex. But it was like our hearts just weren’t into it like before.

About two weeks before the end of the school year (and finals—ugh), the musical theatre class was totally pumped. It was showcase weekend! I was going to sing “Waving Through a Window,” and the three of us were also going to do “Sincerely, Me” to open the second act. Our opening number was funny as shit and hard as hell! It was the song “A Musical” from Something Rotten. There was just about every style of music and dance (including tap).

Billy’s dad flew in for the program. I thought that was totally cool—especially since it was a showcase for a class! Mrs. C and Ms. Rodriguez were there, and so were about seven or eight boys from the home. That was a total shock to me!

Everything was going great. The audience gave standing ovations throughout the program, and I can’t remember ever feeling so proud and happy!

The last song was “Seasons of Love” from Rent. But the weird thing was while we were all standing across the front of the stage—all ready to go—Miss Garner walked out and stood in front of the microphone. What the fuck? We didn’t rehearse the show this way! Oh well—she’s the teacher and can pretty do whatever the fuck she wants. Then she started talking—

“Ladies and Gentlemen, students, faculty, and friends—the class is wondering what the heck I’m doing right now, but I wanted to recognize someone very special before we finish our program. Several weeks ago, we found out that one of our students will not be returning to Westlake next year. I think I can speak for the entire class—and a good portion of the school—when I say that Billy McCallister, along with his sister Maddie, will be terribly missed.

“However, this afternoon, I received a letter that I would like to share with you. Billy—won’t you come up here with me?”

Billy was so damned cute! He looked totally confused and tried to see what the letter was that she was going to read.

“Oh, no you don’t! You get to find out along with the rest of the class!”

She cleared her throat and began reading. “Dear Miss Garner, It is with great pleasure to inform you that your student, William McCallister, has been accepted into the musical theatre secondary program at the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Arts. We would like to congratulate you and your program for preparing him so well for what we hope will be a long and successful career in the theatre arts. Sincerely, Rodney Cottier, Drama School Head, LAMBDA.”

The entire auditorium leaped to their feet and cheered for Billy, who was just standing there in total shock. I looked over at Noah, and he had tears in his eyes and a huge smile on his face. Well, so did I—but Billy was sobbing as he clutched the letter to his chest.

Miss Garner introduced the last number, and we all got through it. Everyone was so happy for Billy. Hell, we totally screwed up the staging. Instead of standing evenly spaced across the front of the stage (like we were supposed to!), everyone just put their arms around the waists of the people next to them, and the song turned into a true anthem of love.

We all had tears, smiles, and sniffles. For the first time in my life, I was totally part of a group of people that totally loved each other and cared about each other. They say high school cliques are some of the worst things in the world, but I have to say that this is one clique I’m so fucking happy to be a part of!

The three of us had already made plans to spend the night at our house. It was a kind of last big fling before finals and the dreaded parting of the ways. Before we got home, the dads insisted on treating us to a late-night snack at the Magnolia Café. Of course, it was Friday night, and the place was rockin’.

Dinner was great. Billy and I shared a chicken fajita platter while the dads had some pretty impressive omelets. Noah had a patty melt and fries (which the three of us shared, of course).

After dinner, we headed back to the house. Billy was especially quiet, and I could tell something was on his mind. When I asked him what was wrong, he denied that he was upset. He just said he has a lot on his mind.

Of course, Noah said that we all needed some quality “deck time” now that the showcase was done and some major mind-clearing was on tap. I reminded him that we couldn’t get too wasted since tomorrow night was opening night for Shrek.

“Dude. You have nothing to worry about. You’re killing it! I still can’t believe how fast you picked everything up. Man, you’re making me look bad!”

“Bullshit! You are so much funnier than I am. Your timing is just spot on and perfect. I have to work my ass off to hopefully get a few laughs.”

Noah looked in the mirror back to Billy. “Dude, I still hate that you decided not to do this show. That’s the only thing that keeps the whole thing from being perfect.”

“I know. I know—I didn’t like the movie, so I didn’t think I would enjoy doing the musical. But hey—the dad dudes got me a ticket to sit with them for all four shows, so I’ll get to watch both of you being funny as shit. It’s nice actually to watch theatre every now and then, you know!”

In no time, we pulled into the garage and got out of the car. The dads weren’t there yet, so we left the door open for them. We walked into the kitchen and got a soda from the fridge just as they walked in.

“Don’t stay up too late boys, you have another opening night tomorrow, and you can’t do good comedy if you’re dragging your sorry butts!”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Pop!”

I tilted my head towards Noah with a, “Yeah—what he said!”

Then Dad tilted his head towards Pop and gave his own, “Yeah—what he said!”

We all had a good laugh, and Pop looked at his watch and said, “I’m kinda beat. I think I’m gonna head on in for the night.”

“I’ll be right in, David.”

Noah, Billy, and I just looked at each other and made a kind of “eww” face. Dad looked at us and said, “Boys—we’re not dead, you know. And for the record, we don’t even begin to think what goes on behind your bedroom door, so you can stop trying to figure out what goes on behind ours—especially since it’s way more than you ‘younguns’ could even begin to imagine!”

Did Dad actually hold his hand out like he was dropping a microphone before he walked out of the kitchen? Whoah! I have to admit, that was funny as shit, and I’m just glad we hadn’t smoked anything yet, or I would have totally lost my shit!

Billy’s eyes got big, and he looked at Noah. “Mic drop? Really? For old man sex?”

The three of us laughed our way into the bedroom, and Noah shut the door behind us. He grabbed the bong, and we headed out to the deck. We decided just to get a nice buzz going and avoid getting shit-faced.

When we finished outside, Noah put everything away, and we all sat on Noah’s bed, side-by-side with me in the middle.

Billy leaned over and gave me a nice, deep kiss. Damn! I felt that all the way to my toes! He hasn’t kissed me like that in a long time. “Nick, kiss Noah—just like that.”

Okay. It’s not the first time Noah and I have kissed in front of Billy, so I was cool with that. But damn! While I did my best to give Noah a toe-curling kiss, he definitely returned the favor! As our tongues teased each other, we were both moaning into each other’s mouths.

Billy moved across to my bed and sat watching Noah and me. “Nicky, Noah—take off each other’s shirts.” We did and got up on our knees, facing each other, kissing and moaning. As our breathing was getting more and more ragged, Billy ordered us to lay down next to each other, and he came over and began undoing the buttons and zippers on our pants.

As he exposed each of our hard cocks, he took each one of us into his mouth for a quick, deep suck, causing us to moan even harder as we kissed each other.

Billy then stood in front of us and took off his clothes. Damn! For the rest of my life, I will never cease to be amazed by that boy’s smokin’ hot body! Billy then crawled up onto the bed and kissed me deeply. “I love you, Nicky. I’m so glad to have had you in my life! You have no idea.”

Well fuck! My lower lip started to tremble, and the tears started to flow. “Shhhh. This isn’t a night to be sad, baby. This is a night about possibilities.”

He then moved over to Noah, who, while watching Billy and me, had started to tear up himself. Billy kissed Noah and then propped his head up on his elbow while he softly spoke to him. “Noah, have you ever been fucked? Have you ever fucked a boy?”

Noah just shook his head and sighed while Billy smiled. “I thought so. If you could choose, which would you like to do first? Fuck or be fucked?”

“Don’t laugh at me, okay? But neither. I want my first time with a boy to be all about making love. I’ve seen you and Nicky, and that’s all about love. That’s what I want.”

“Okay then, tonight—I want Nicky to make love to you, Noah. I want to see what you’ve seen. Are you okay with that, Nicky? Will the boy I love more than anything in the world make love to the other boy I love more than anything in the world?”

Whoah. I couldn’t believe what was happening. But I have to admit, the idea of being Noah’s first made my cock jump and leak a little! So—I looked into Billy’s eyes and slowly nodded my head.

Billy got up and moved across to my bed. He propped himself up with my pillows and slowly started to stroke his beautiful cock. “Nicky, climb on top of Noah and kiss him.”

So I did. Apparently, Billy has decided to be the director of tonight’s live porn scene!

As I was kissing Noah, he wrapped his legs around my waist. “Oh, God! Nick, I’m so glad it’s going to be you! I was afraid it would never happen at all.”

“I love you, Noah. I promise not to hurt you. If you don’t like it or if it’s too much for you—tell me, and I’ll stop.”

“I trust you, Nick. More than you could ever know.”

And with that, Billy literally directed me as I got Noah ready for my throbbing cock. At first, it was kinda weird, but the further along we got, the hotter it became. The only time Billy joined us was when I began to push the head of my cock into Noah’s tightness. He leaned down and kissed Noah deeply after telling him to keep breathing and relax.

Oh, my God! I was so careful as I eased into Noah. I would ease in a little, wait, and then pull out a bit before I pushed in some more. Billy kept telling Noah to relax and breathe, occasionally telling him to push out as I pushed in.

When Noah felt me all the way in, he moaned, “Oh fuck! It’s so big!”

I looked into his eyes and told him I wasn’t going to move until he was ready. Billy moved back to my bed, and I leaned down and kissed Noah deeply. During the kiss, he began to rock his hips slightly, letting me know that he was ready.

I began my slow movements, making sure my cock hit his magic spot on each pass. That caused Noah’s moans to get louder as his body trembled under me.

“So good! Feels so good!” Noah was panting, and I was getting faster and closer.

Throughout the entire thing, Billy would comment on how hot it was. I would occasionally glance over and watch him stroke his cock while he watched me making love to Noah.

Noah’s breathing got hotter and more ragged as he let me know he was getting close. “Harder, Nicky! Faster!”

Since he asked for it, I gave Noah all I had and was pounding him so hard I was sure one of us would be bruised in the morning.

“Kiss me! Now!”

I leaned over and kissed Noah while I pounded him. Just seconds into that kiss, his entire body tensed as I felt the scalding heat of his cum spray between us. Of course, that caused him to tighten even more around my cock, and that set me off as I planted what felt like gallons of cum deep inside him.

I was still buried deep inside Noah when Billy came over to us, stroking his hard cock. “That was so fucking hot, dudes. Now I’m gonna—"

Billy shot his hot load all over our faces, which we happily cleaned off of each other.

The three of us headed into the shower to clean up, but Billy allowed no more playing. He said he wanted to talk to us and wanted us to hurry.

Once we finished showering and drying off, we all fell into my bed, this time with Billy in the middle.

We talked about how the night’s activities were a surprise but still hot as fuck. While we were talking, Noah and I held each other’s hands across Billy’s chest.

“Nick. Noah. So, I know that there’s a 99% chance that the two of you will end up together after I leave. And I had tonight all planned out so I could show you that I was so much more than okay with it. Nothing will make me happier than knowing that the two boys I love more than anything will be there for each other—loving each other with all their hearts.”

I couldn’t believe my boyfriend was setting me up with my next boyfriend. But then, I realized that it wouldn’t work out at all.

“Billy, I’m pretty sure that dads are going to want to start the adoption process sometime this summer. That would make Noah my real brother. We couldn’t be boyfriends. That would just be—too weird, and probably illegal in this state.”

“Wait a minute, Nicky. Didn’t Mrs. Rodriguez say there was another option? Something that wasn’t an adoption but legally made you the total responsibility of the dads?”

“Yeah, you’re right. But if we decide that we want that, we would have to tell the dads about us. Do you think they would accept it?”

Billy was the one to set us straight. “Look. Your dads love the two of you more than anything in the world. If you decide to be together, it will thrill me, and I’m pretty sure they would be happy with it if it’s truly what you both want.”

“He’s right, Nick. And for the record, I can’t think of anything that would make me happier than to know that I have you by my side for the rest of my life.”

“Does this mean I have two boyfriends now?”

Billy leaned to me and kissed me on the forehead. “No Nicky. It means that I can move to London and be happy knowing that you and the boy I love just as much can be together. 100 percent. I’m stepping out of the picture now. But know that I will always love you both for the rest of my life. No matter where life takes me, I will always have a special place in my heart for you and Noah.

“But I want you two to be together now. Love each other. Take care of each other, like no one else can. And you better damned well ask me to be your best man when the two of you get married!”

Billy leaned over and kissed Noah and told him he loved him. Then he leaned over to me and did the same. “Guys, thank you for tonight. Watching you two make love has put my heart at ease, knowing how good you are for each other.”

Billy then moved over to the other bed, telling us that he wanted this to be our first night together. I tried to convince Billy to stay with us, but he insisted that nothing made him happier now than seeing Noah and me together.

Always.

 

 

 

 

 

EPILOGUE

We got through finals and the school year came to an end. We had just come home from seeing Billy, Maddie, and their mom off at the airport. Damn! There wasn’t a dry eye in the house!

As Billy said his goodbyes to us, He said, “Be good to each other. I love you guys.”

They went to the TSA line, and we turned around to leave the airport. On the way home, Noah and I were sitting in the back seat of the SUV, heads resting against each other as we softly cried.

“Hey dads?”

Pop turned around and smiled at his two sniffling boys. “What’s up Nick?”

“I just want to thank you for giving me the chance to have Billy in my life. He was just as much a part of me finding myself as you all were. And none of that would have happened if you hadn’t picked me as your foster kid.”

Noah decided to let all common sense go out the window, and he leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. I noticed Dad’s eyes widen a bit, but he turned around.

Noah realized what he had done right away. He whispered to me, “Oh shit, you know we’re gonna have to tell them what’s going on when we get home.”

“Yeah,” I whispered back. “But we need to start the conversation, so it doesn’t feel like we’re in trouble or anything.”

Noah nodded his head, and we both rode the rest of the way home, thinking about what we were going to say.

When we got to the house, I asked the dads to join Noah and me out on the patio.

We all sat around the table, and Dad asked me what was on my mind. I explained (without the sexy parts) that Billy wanted more than anything that Noah and I should end up together. I told them that we agreed that this was the next logical step and that I was totally and completely in love with their son.

I then told them that because of our feelings for each other, that I didn’t feel right with an adoption since that would make us legally brothers.

Noah then mentioned the alternative that Mrs. Rodriguez had mentioned.

Dad nodded his head and said, “That would be the Permanent Managing Conservatorship. Is that what you are talking about?”

“Yes,” I said. “If that’s okay with you. Of course, we would want your blessing on our relationship first.”

Pop looked at Dad and smiled. “Nick—Noah—I would be lying if I would say that we are totally surprised by this. I do have to say that I am surprised that this was Billy’s idea. That was an extremely mature move on his part.”

“But then again,” Dad continued, “Billy was making sure that the two most important boys in his life would be happy.” He then looked at us and asked, “Are you sure about this? It’s a huge step, and in this case, it will have a life-long impact on your lives.”

Noah smiled at me and took my hand. “Dad—Pop—when Noah joined our family, I was beyond happy that I was finally going to have a brother. But it didn’t take long for me to realize that he was so much more than a brother. Now, don’t get me wrong—I was so happy for Nick when he and Billy ended up together.

“But when Billy said he wanted us together after he left, it only made sense. I love Nick with all my heart. We’re so good together. I mean, the few times we’ve had a disagreement, it was so easy just to talk it out and get things on the right track. I mean, that’s how you two handle things, right?”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “We do have the perfect role models for how to make a relationship work.”

Pop looked at us and very seriously asked, “Do you love each other?”

We both smiled and nodded our heads, yes.

Dad went one step further. “Are you in love with each other?”

Fuck. Here come the tears again, only this time with a smile as wide as Dallas. “Yeah, more than I ever thought possible.”

“Then as far as I’m concerned,” Dad spoke next. “We can’t stand in the way of something that is going to happen with or without our blessing.”

Pop smiled, “And you both absolutely have our blessing.”

“I’ll start working on the conservatorship paperwork next week, and we should have that taken care of before the end of summer.”

That night was a beautiful night of making love with Noah White. My Noah White! The next morning we were back at the airport as the dads saw us off to our trip to Florida.

What an amazing week! It was like our unofficial honeymoon. There was so much sex! But most importantly, we were able to love each other without a single bit of hesitation.

* * * * *

The last two years of high school were amazing, too. Noah became another in a long line of Westlake quarterbacks to make his mark (Drew Brees, Nick Foles, and Sam Ellinger). He was heavily recruited by many schools, but the number of schools that wanted him was cut in half when Noah told them he was gay and had no intention of pretending to be someone he wasn’t.

I was so proud of Noah and even prouder to be his boyfriend! In the end, he accepted a full scholarship to the University of Texas, where he made a huge impact and led the team to the National Finals twice (We won once)!

I also attended UT in the school’s musical theatre program. It was both weird and cool when I would take one of Pop’s classes, but it wasn’t a problem at all since I kept my last name when the conservatorship went through.

When the press discovered that Texas's star quarterback was gay, it was a newsworthy story for about a year. After that, no one seemed to care. After graduation, Nick was drafted by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and was one of those rare rookies to start for his team.

Unfortunately, his career ended rather abruptly when they were playing the Dallas Cowboys—and he was tackled quite hard and broke his leg. He could have gone through some agonizing rehab to play again, but the more we talked about it, the more he wanted to return to Austin and get into grad school so he could get his law degree.

We returned to Austin, and I became the new drama teacher at my old school, Crockett High School, while Noah entered Law School at UT. We moved into our own house in one of Austin's older sections, and life was great!

We still see Billy on occasion. We try to make it to London at least once a year, and he and Maddie visit at least once a year as well.

Billy ended up liking London quite a lot! Of course, Trevor Banks helped a lot. Billy met Trev at LAMBDA, and they hit it off immediately. They started as friends, soon became best friends, and moved into the boyfriend stage before the end of the school year. I tell you, that’s the way to make things work!

As soon as Noah graduated from law school, he joined Dad’s firm and became another fierce advocate for foster kids in Central Texas.

Of course, you’d probably not be surprised that Noah asked me to marry him right after he graduated. Of course, I said yes! And the dads moved into full-on wedding planner mode.

So yeah, after growing up not knowing what I was going to do with my totally fucked-up childhood, three amazing men—the White family—took me in. It’s been an amazing ride that I wouldn’t change (except for the school shooting thing) for anything in the world.

In the end, I found my worth. I found myself. I found my always.