IceBerg - 24. Chapter 24

‘It wasn’t rape because you deserved it. Alex is great, Alex is great, you are bad you are bad,’ chanted Jake.

Walking through the door, I let out the nervous breath and pushed my backpack more onto my shoulder.

‘Nathanial!’

I looked over to Sharon and gave a small smile.

She cocked an eyebrow as I walked over, giving her a little wave of the hand, ‘Hey, Sharon. Everything, okay?’

She tilted her head, giving a small smile back, ‘You’ve done some, um, changing.’

‘Different, yeah,’ I stroked my cleanly shaven face. ‘I, um, fancied a change. You not like it?’

‘Well, I think your hair suits you short,’ she shrugged a little. ‘But you look a little odd without a beard. But I can get why you shaved; it was becoming a little messy.’

‘You know, it can always grow back,’ I replied.

‘Hey, hun, I know we haven’t been able to talk much,’ she rested out her hand on my arm. ‘Are you doing, okay? I am so sorry about your mum. I know I said it before. But I just want to make sure you’re okay.’

‘I shave my beard and you worry about me,’ I teased, patting her hand. ‘Oh, I suppose I have been off for a few days. I’m fine, now.’

‘Back in black,’ she teased, stroking my arm.

Black clothes were easier to put on in the morning, I didn’t know why it felt easier, but it did.

She gave me a sympathetic look, ‘Do you want to get a drink or something after work today? This isn’t me hitting on you by the way, I just. I just miss you; you know. You’re the only real person here, everyone else is so pretentious.’

‘Not everyone,’ smiled Claire, joining us. She stopped at me. ‘Wow, um, I know this is stupid to say, but you do look really different, Nathanial.’

‘In a good way, right?’ I grinned, heart beating fast.

‘Of course,’ Claire said too quickly.

‘It’s getting awkward,’ whispered Jake.

I could hear another whisper, a different voice, ‘You need to laugh more. Laugh more. Be funny. You’re unapproachable. They will only stop hating you if you smile. Laugh more. Be funny.’

‘Only real people here,’ I said smiling bright.

‘Well,’ said Sharon. ‘Everyone else thinks because it’s T.V they are better than some old stupid receptionist.’

‘You aren’t stupid,’ I grinned at her.

She hit my arm.

Claire laughed, ‘You were supposed to say she’s not old.’

‘Looking for compliments, are we? Aren’t we the same age anyway?’

‘Depends, how old are you?’ asked Sharon, wiggling her eyebrows.

‘No that’s not fair,’ I smiled. I paused, looking at Claire. ‘We should get to the office, Running behind.’

‘I still can’t understand why you won’t leave the position from the show.’

‘Well, I don’t know either,’ I shrugged. ‘Oh!’ I clicked my fingers at her. ‘Remind me, I got to get you to meet my friend Oli. You’ll like him trust me. I’m seeing him this weekend. Come along.’

‘Oh, I will,’ she gave a flirty look with her eyes.

I shook my head, ‘Oh, you wish. I’ll message you?’

She waved at us before Claire and I rushed to the lift.

I thought I would break down into tears or act out. But I pushed it down and I was normal. I almost felt normal. Was this an act?

Maybe this whole thing with Alex never happened.

I looked around before saying, ‘Claire? I, um, I heard what happened. Charlie told me. I hope you’re okay. I’m sorry about you guys.’

She looked startled. She turned to me, swiping some of her long black hair behind her ear.

‘Thank you, Nathanial,’ she replied, her voice soft and short. ‘You spoke to Charlie?’

‘Yes, I saw him the other day waiting for a bus in the rain. I picked him up in the car and dropped him off home.’

‘Right,’ she nodded her head, her eyes cast down.

‘I know he’s gone away too. I am so sorry, Claire. I don’t want you to feel awkward, you’re my friend too, you know.’

She looked surprised and smiled at me, more genuine this time, ‘Thanks, Nathanial.’

I reached over and put an arm around her shoulder, giving it a squeeze before taking my arm off her.

‘Did he tell you why?’ she asked, her voice quiet.

The lift door opened.

‘He told me he told you something,’ I replied, stepping out. ‘Something that isn’t nice to hear.’

She said nothing.

When we got closer to the office, she suddenly said, ‘Aren’t you boiling wearing that?’

‘I just fancied wearing it today,’ I said, looking down on my baggy black jumper. I pulled at the long sleeves. ‘I’m actually not too warm.’

‘Oh, okay,’ she shrugged her own coat off. ‘Just that I had to put sun cream on this morning before I came here. But as long as you’re okay wearing it.’

I stopped, taking her arm, before we walked through the door to our busy office. ‘Claire. If you ever want to grab a coffee?’

She reached out, quick, and wrapped her arms around, hugging me tight. I tried not to wince with bruising and put my arms around her and hugged her tight. We stayed like that for a little while before she pulled away.

‘Why you being nice to her, you know she is like this because of you and Charlie,’ whispered Jake.

I reached over past her and opened the door handle, bowing a little at her, ‘After you, my lady!’

She shook her head, ‘Alex is a very lucky guy.’ She paused, ‘Oh, I didn’t see your car in the car park today.’

‘Alex dropped me off’ I replied.

‘Aw, like a gentleman,’ she smiled. ‘Is there something wrong with your car?’

‘Oh no, he just offered,’ I gave a little laugh. ‘He likes playing the gentleman role.’

I was going out with a gold star athlete. I was a co-writer to my own show. I had it all.

                                                              ***

On my break, I walked down to the familiar corridor, the red walls, faded slight, the worn-down carpet under my feet, the frames of random art hanging upon the walls.

I got to his office, papers in my hand, memory stick too. I stole a look at my watch; I had ten minutes. I swallowed my lump in the throat and knocked on his door.

‘Yes?’

I pushed the door open and let it stay open.

Grant’s eyes brightened as he saw me come in. His office desk was scattered, papers and letters and hole punches and staples.

‘I haven’t had chance to tidy, we just got in from the hospital,’ he said.

My eyes lowered, thinking of Piper, ‘How is she?’

‘She will be okay, just a scare. If it was any more than that, I wouldn’t be here trust me,’ the large man chuckled.

‘Wait, this hasn’t been too much for her?’

‘No, it has been fine!’ she came through the door, smiling. She looked tired. They both did. She shook her head at me, ‘Bet everyone is jealous of your new look!’

‘I hope that isn’t sarcasm there,’ I winked.

Grant then blinked, ‘You, um, you finally shaved it all off, huh?’

I shrugged, ‘Was getting too hippy for a while. Need to look a bit normal.’

‘I say nothing,’ Grant gave a cheeky grin, shrugging. He nodded to my papers, ‘This is the second season?’

‘Well, the first two episodes of the second season. Paper copies,’ I leaned forward to hand them to him. ‘The memory stick has the rest of the episodes on. Well, I think it might need an extra episode but there’s enough on there for now.’

Since Charlie had gone, I was suddenly asked to do a lot more, produce more, work longer hours. This is what I wanted right. A show all by myself. Without any support.

‘Any new characters or changes?’ he asked. flipping through.

‘There could be,’ I said. ‘But most of them are the same characters, the main ones anyway. There are a few background characters, like Sam’s school friend, he has one scene with him but then there’s no more after that. So might need an audition for him.’

‘Right, right,’ he finished flipping through the script and put it on his desk. ‘Don’t worry, I will sort this.’

I stepped back, ‘I have to go back to work now.’

He replied, ‘This is becoming a successful show, small, but successful, you can leave your job soon.’

‘I do enjoy it, you know.’

He cocked an eyebrow.

‘Well, it pays okay for now,’ I laughed a little. I stretched my back and everything down there was suddenly hurting. I winced.

‘You, okay?’ he nodded.

‘Yeah,’ I gritted my teeth smiling. ‘Just, um, need the toilet. When do you think we can this started? The second season?’

‘Well, after the editors look over at this and we recast the odd background character, should be about a month?’

‘Right,’ I nodded.

‘Nathanial? Are you okay doing this without Mr. Conray?’

I was hoping to get through the day without hearing his name. But this was work. We worked together. Of course, he would come up. After all, we were best friends here.

‘He was happy with this draft before he went away,’ I replied, teeth still gritting from pain.

The sting was a slow burn, itching at me, I needed to go to the toilet. I couldn’t be bleeding again. I didn’t know what it was.

But Grant was giving me a funny look and I burbled, ‘I know Charlie is away for a while, personal reasons, but if there is anything wrong, he is just an email away.’

‘Anyway, we will let you go,’ he put the paperwork into his drawers. ‘I will email you later on this evening.’

His office phone suddenly rang out. He went to reach for it and Piper winked at me; I smiled at her and left the office.

The moment I closed the door behind me, I wheezed a little of the pain, it felt like a block of heaviness inside me. I headed to the bathroom and felt for my small tube of cream in my pocket.

I had already put cream on it before I came to work. I needed to apply more often. Should healed soon. I should have carried a blow-up ring to work and pretended I had piles.

Let everyone laugh at me.

Maybe I should have just gone home.

***
Throughout the day I snapped at people. The guy in front of me in the cafeteria took too long to pick a sandwich, the guy who was supposed to tell me I had a meeting with the director arrived late. People in the office, their usual ignoring of me, which I normally ignored back, snapped me and I threw them dirty looks and sarcastic comments.

I thought they would strike an argument back but they never did. They looked at me like a deranged lion.

People moved out the way when I walked around. Which was good. I was an unlit dynamite and no-one wanted to be near that.

Claire was the only person who didn’t mention Charlie. So, I ended up being drawn to her most of the day in the office. It was like that most days. We talked about films, shows, safe subjects for both of us. Think we both needed that.

After getting painkillers from Claire, I ended up staying at work.

My phone went off in my pocket. I frowned, having no idea who could be messaging me. I rubbed my face before getting it out and reading the message.

‘I feel like I haven’t seen you for ages, you are making me miss you, Waldo!’

I smiled. Oli.

Then I shifted in my seat. He would know something was up. But to see his face, I could forget the last few days and laugh and have junk food and beer and laugh with my best friend.

***

‘Still sticking with the no beard, hun?’ she laughed.

I flipped her off as I walked over to her, shrugging my heavy laptop bag off my shoulder.

‘So rude,’ Sharon rolled her eyes, grinning, folding her arms. Her perfume seemed a little stronger than usual.

‘You thought this would be back in a week or so,’ I cocked my eyebrow, stroking my bare face.

‘You really have stuck it out,’ she leaned over and stroked my face, her hand was small. ‘Three months, aren’t you sick of shaving it every week.’

‘Well Alex likes it,’ I smiled, scratching the back of my head.

‘How was your anniversary road trip by the way?’ she tilted her head. ‘I mean Washington, that’s pretty wow.’

‘Yeah,’ I kept the smile on. ‘He paid for the whole thing, we saw all the sites, took all the photos.’

‘Let me see,’ her hand stretched out.

Reaching into my pocket, I passed her my phone.

‘Ah,’ she flicked through the images. ‘You guys are so adorable. Oh, you saw a gig too?!’

‘Yes, we kind of stumbled across it, in a bar, this small band, it was quirky,’ I said.

‘I need to go back to the hotel, Alex, I’m exhausted!’

‘You are ruining everything, Nathanial. Why can’t you stop being so pathetic? At least eat something you look anorexic. It’s embarrassing.’

‘That sounds so exciting!’ she smiled. ‘Oh!’ she tapped her long-patterned pink and white nails at me. ‘Got them done, what do you think?’

I shrugged, confused, ‘They, um, look like long nails?’

‘Psh!’ she shook her head. ‘Oli says they are lovely. He noticed them straight away.’

‘Well, that is Oli,’ I raised an eyebrow. ‘He is better at being gay than I am.’

Since introducing Oli and Sharon, they became close quite quickly.

‘We’re out tonight, going to see that Grey film?’

‘Fifty shades?’ I laughed a little.

Doors opened and a group of people walked past. They barely looked at Sharon as they walked past and she didn’t seem to care.

‘What, it looks fun,’ she teased. The office telephone started to chirp out, in short rings. She pulled a face and rolled over in her chair to pick it up.

Her voice was bright and cheerful on the phone. ‘Hello, Sharon speaking how can I help?’

She closed her hand over the speak and pointed at my thick grey jumper with her long talons, ‘When you going to start wearing tops again, Greystone?’

She uncovered the speaker and was back to her loud cheeriness again, ‘Yes, ma’am, I can search that for you.’

I bow my head down, waved at her. She waved back and I grinned and stepped back.

‘Hey!’ a hand captured my back.

That voice.

I widened my eyes. My heart stopped. I was off my game, that smile I had been holding dropped off my face.

‘Charlie,’ my voice croaked as if there was a tight hand around my throat.

It hurt. Like I had been hit in the stomach with a hammer.

I took in a breath through my nose and turned around, pinning a small smile ‘Charlie!’

He looked different. Refreshed. His hair had tints of silver and black, a six o’clock shadow, but kept clean, his skin was a healthy glow of a tan, his teeth seem whiter. His clothes were brighter, sharper, quirky t-shirt, he seemed to have a chirpy step in his manner. I thought he'd never want to talk to me ever again. But here he was, with a big stupid friendly grin on his face, eager to speak to me.

I snorted a little and grinned, ‘You look like a moron.’

He rolled his eyes and threw his arms around me. I stiffened as his arms went around me. The sweet apple smell was still there. That never changed. He was so warm, his legs still feel strong, against mine. If I loosened up for a moment, I might have ended up hugging him back too tight and never letting him go.

I raised one arm up and patted him with awkward hand on his shoulder before he let go.

He stepped back, and raised an eyebrow, mimicking stroking his face.

‘You look weird without it.’

‘Thanks,’ I rolled my eyes. ‘It’s a new look.’

‘Well, I already miss it. It’s not Greystone without the beard,’ he grinned. ‘The short hair is good, but the baby face, mmm! Get some glasses on you and you’ll be Wado just like Oli says.’

‘Others like it,’ I replied, rubbing my face.

He pulled a face, and yanked at his own top, ‘You like it? It has a cat on it, thought you’d appreciate it.’

‘Why am I a cat person?’ I frowned.

‘You are the cat person, I am the dog person, we both love animals,’ he laughed a little. He reached over to pull at my sleeve. ‘What’s this, you shave the mighty face and dump the cool t-shirts now?’

I flinched hard, pulling my wrists away, before he rolled up the sleeves. He wouldn’t like what he saw underneath those sleeves and I didn’t want him to make a scene.

Bending down, I pretended to fiddle with something in my laptop bag before zipping it back up.

‘So,’ I said, picking my laptop bag up. ‘How was the travelling?’

‘Nathanial!’

We both looked to see Claire, looking flushed, her face red from embarrassment and the cold outside. Her long black coat huddled against her. She patted her hair down.

‘Charlie’ she said, her voice very quiet.

I nodded at Charlie, ‘See you later on.’

As I began to walk with a weak Clair, he grabbed my shoulder and I turned my head slight to him.

‘I’ll be at the filming this afternoon. We are on episode three on season two today, right?’

‘Yeah,’ my mind was blank for a moment. I shook my head, ‘It’s the last scenes today of that. I’m not really needed on set.’

‘Oh.’ his voice was sudden and low.

‘I’ll come down though. For a little while.’

‘Good,’ he clutched my shoulder before letting go.

As Claire and I stepped into the lift, Charlie caught my eye and tried to wave at us. I gave a small wave back.

The lift doors slid shut. Claire let out a huge breath of air before leaning back against the mirror. She rubbed her head.

‘Wasn’t ready today,’ she murmured.

***

Okay, I could do this.

My hands were resting on the sink, one on either side. I gulped and it hurt my throat.

He was going to be in this week, it had been all over his social media, that he was coming back in from his trip. He told managers here. I shouldn’t have been this shocked. He never told me. I hadn’t heard from him since he went aboard that flight. But then why would he message me, it was me he was getting away from. Now he was back here, all smiles and hugs.

Was that for show or for real?

‘Ah,’ I washed my hands.

These thoughts were messing me up. Last time he was here, I tried to break up with Alex.

Two men entered the bathroom, laughing, sharing a joke, walking past me to the urinals. Why would they notice me? I was always in dark clothes. Even with this heat outside, the jumpers stayed on.

I glanced down at my hands, the sleeve has come up a bit, I ran my thumb over the thin cut line, the bumps of each bit of scab. It was healing quicker from last week. I was getting a pro of cutting and getting away with it now. I glanced over to the two guys and pulled my sleeve down.

Bending down, I could smell the old soap as I splashed some lukewarm water onto my face, before turning the tap off. On the way out the bathroom, I grabbed some paper towels and patted my face dry.

I walked toward the show’s set where Charlie would be, skimming through groups of people, the artists hoovering around to do touch ups, the actors reading over their thumbed scripts, the set designers doing last minute paints and rearrangements for the shots.

Shot in the park today. Filming outside. It was supposed to be sunny and to our delight that day was a sunny day. Or they were happy with it. I lost all the reins on this a long time ago. It was probably why I didn’t feel excited anymore.

All the actors had their flesh out, even the older characters have loose free flowing clothes, relaxing. I felt like a damn vampire, I almost wanted to hiss out like one and bare my teeth.

I zigzagged my way from the crowds, I saw Grant and waved at him, he was speaking to someone, one of the directors. He clocked my eyes and gave a wave back, still talking to the director. I walked over.

‘Not real, not real, not real, not real,’ chanted Jake.

Hey, there,’ I said a little too loud, reach for the new director’s hand.

‘Nathan Greystone,’ he smiled, shaking my hand.

I gritted my teeth and said nothing.

‘Simon here, is just finishing off the last episode,’ said Grant.

‘Yeah, I think we have two more left then it’s the whole season done, right?’ I smiled.

‘You write these up so quickly, it definitely makes my job easier,’ chuckled Simon.

‘The next season hasn’t been done yet,’ I teased.

‘Well, you can now get on that now since he is back,’ Simon tilted his head.

Behind him, I saw Charlie in a mist of actors, laughing and chatting, standing with a casual stance. The female actors touched his hair and the male stuntmen laughed and gave playful punches to his arms.

I was so tired, my eyes almost felt dead in my skull.

I wondered what he could have said to them, probably something flirty. Or funny. Or witty. I was stupid for not knowing.

Charlie winked at them and the girls laughed and the guys did too, even a manly stuntman for this new season was blushing.

‘Alex. What are you doing?’

He pushed against me more into the bed, his hand on the back on my shoulder. My breathing was caught in my lungs.

‘Alex, please! Please! I’m sorry!’

‘Nathanial?’

‘Oh,’ I blinked. ‘Sorry. You are right, we will be writing more. Especially with his trips, he will have lots of, um, inspiration.’

‘You guys follow his twitter?’ Simon murmured, tapping fast on his cell phone. ‘He is hot news right.’

I frowned, ‘Why, what’s he said? Can I see?’

‘What?’ Simon looked up confused. ‘Oh, this? I was just messaging my girlfriend something. Okay, just finishing up,’ he typed up quick. ‘Okay. Done. Right let’s start this scene going.’

He turned around and shouted loud ‘Come on people, let’s get this started, it’s already late!’

Everyone jumped to attention and Charlie group of fans patted him on the back before striding away from him, the skinny actors. Wait, I was almost as skinny. I didn’t mean to be. Alex was damn sure making I ate. Which was good of him.

‘Oh, I am surprised you haven’t been watching his twitter,’ said Grant.

‘I haven’t been online at the moment,’ I lied.

He hadn’t messaged me and I stopped looking online. Last I saw he was having fun pictures with locals over in Australia and making jokes on the food.

I caught Charlie’s eye and he walked over, hands in his pockets.

I didn’t know how to stand. That was stupid. I knew how to stand; my feet still scuffled against the floor. I shoved my hands deep into my jean pockets.

Charlie smiled at me, before getting Grant’s attention and asking, ‘So we are just watchers today?’

‘Yes, the script has not been touched,’ Grant smiled. ‘Piper will be down soon.’

‘Good I am glad they took that on board,’ Charlie nudged me. ‘I may have suggested they stop tampering with the work.’

I smiled. No words came out.

Leaning in, Charlie whispered something to Grant.

‘Cheat, cheat, cheat, cheat,’ Jake’s voice was clear.

‘Oh, yes, yes,’ boss nodded and lowered his voice to Charlie.

I watched Grant walk away, wanting to reach out and burble out some ridiculous excuse for him to stay. Instead, I just watched him walk away unable to even open my mouth.

Charlie turned to me, with a warm smile, ‘Come on, let’s get the seats, think they are at the back.’

We got our place and sat in the plastic chairs, both of us holding a bottle of water.

He eyed up my jumper, ‘You’re not warm in that?’

I shook my head, and took a swing of the cold deeply refreshing water.

Charlie said nothing, taking a light sip of his own bottle. We watched the scenes act out. They did six takes before we had a pause for ten minutes.

I wished I was at home.

‘You know, normal people would be enjoying their own creation come to life,’ sneered Jake. ‘Normal people. Normal.’

‘That was really good actually,’ Charlie said, turning to me, one leg up with comfort on his chair.

I did enjoy it; I remembered when we edited it together in the coffee shop.

I finally talked, ‘It was good. They captured the hidden secrets so well.’

‘Not too off that you can tell it’s a secret but without being obvious.’

‘Exactly, it is brewing up, we should definitely develop it more in the next season of the script.’

‘Any idea what it will ultimately be?’

‘No clue’ I laughed. He laughed too, and I casted my eyes down.

I couldn’t help myself. Our conversations were just so natural. I wanted to stay quiet and not laugh and be serious, but Charlie had that magic.

It was dangerous for me.

Charlie was still grinning like wild idiot, looking at me, before going, ‘Oh! Want to see my pictures?’

‘Sure,’ I replied, watching him grab his phone out of his jacket hanging around the chair.

He leaned forward to me; his shoulder close to me.

I held my breath a little and leaned in, being very careful to not touch his shoulder, almost shaking with accuracy to not touch.

He tapped it and handed it to me. I swiped through the photos. There were a mix, some close up and edited photos of food, quirky cuisines, there were selfie pictures of Charlie with random groups of young guys and young girls, fan photos, group shots, single photos of him and a guy, or him and a girl, grinning at the cell phone, photos of him making ridiculous poses outside statues, pointing and pulling faces.

‘You like them, huh?’ he gave a small grin.

Crap, he caught me smiling. Where did that come from?

I shook my head, trying to get the grin to get off my face, ‘You had a huge adventure out there.’

‘It was good, I would recommend it,’ he said. ‘Oh, haha,’ he pointed at the photo I was on. ‘Yeah, it took me ages to get that one. Zookeeper wasn’t keen on me holding the baby but I managed to get them to take the picture. You know,’ he laughed a little. ‘It pooped all over me like five minutes after but was worth it.’

‘Can’t believe you held a baby monkey,’ I mused, tapping through the photos.

‘Well, it’s not called a monkey it’s a, oh, wait, you don’t want to see that.’

I looked down at a photo of Charlie with a guy, the guy with a chiselled handsome face who was laughing at the camera while Charlie kissed his cheek. Charlie snatched the phone off me, clearing his throat.

The image was still burning in my eyes. It was only for a few seconds and it was all I could see now.

I gave him a quick nudge, my heart beating fast. ‘Do you feel better for going over there? Like you found yourself a bit?’

‘Sounds a bit cliché,’ replied Charlie, pulling a face.

‘Still,’ I shrugged, my eyes capturing the actors coming in from their break. I lowered my voice, ‘I am glad you are feeling better. I do hope you know who you are now and all that.’

Charlie said nothing, but I could feel him staring at me from the side.

‘You didn’t get my message, did you?’

‘Come on everyone back to the scene, five minutes!’ called Simon from the front.

‘Oh, you posted something on your twitter?’

‘I messaged you, doofus,’ Charlie muttered, furious.

I narrowed my eyes and looked sideways at him, ‘I didn’t get it.’

‘Right,’ Charlie muttered again. ‘Suppose you didn’t get any other messages either.’

‘Okay, actors in place, please!’ called David, sitting up in his seat at the front.

‘You messaged me?’

Charlie stared at me with a hard look. He stared for long time. I focused ahead on Sam coming in to his role. He had lost a bit of weight and toned up, which was not what I wanted. Sam was supposed to be the normal guy. The normal guy underdog. He shouldn’t have toned up; he was supposed to have that softness to him.

When Charlie stared ahead, and the action began, I slid my hand into my back pocket and placed my phone in my lap, skimming through my messages..

I went on his twitter and read, ‘Just got back from Aussie land! Beautiful food, beautiful women and beautiful men! Definitely know I am bisexual now!’

Ah. So that’s what the buzz was about.

I went off the data and back to my contacts, going to Charlie’s number. I remembered leaving the phone on the table while I went to the kitchen that night with Alex after the restaurant. I left it on there a while and I remembered that it began to ring. Alex had handed me it after, telling me it was Oli.

I went onto Charlie’s name in my contacts. It looked fine. I tapped again, onto the extra information on his contact. The red block arrow was on this.

Charlie was watching the scene, mouthing word for word the dialogue of the actors during their second take. I looked down on my phone, putting it on silence and pressed the button off the red block arrow.

Message after message, all flickered through to me. All from Charlie.

I pressed on them. There were so many messages.

‘Hey man, I am sorry about what happened. I just got off the flight and I know I messed up. I hope you are okay. Can we please still be friends? If you need to talk you can talk to me okay? I dont want to mess up.’

‘Just found this shirt! Sweet! What you think?’

‘Hey can I just ring you to talk to you for a minute?’

‘Sorry I didn’t mean to bother you. Hope you are okay.’

‘Ah, man I a wasted! Just miss in you, people fun here but you fun more.’

‘Hey I really need to talk, I think I know what’s going on with me and I want us to be cool?’

‘I think I am ready to tell the world about myself. Really nervous, would like your opinion on it?’

So many messages, I skimmed through them all, watching each one went from light humoured, to sweet, to dry, to subtle anger at being ignored.

‘How come you didn’t know Alex had blocked it?’ whispered Jake. ‘You never even checked once? You just cut contact. Because you didn’t want to, because you were afraid? Coward, coward.’

I bit my bottom lip hard.

‘Cut!’

Everyone was clapping. The scenes were finally finished for today.

I was sorry Charlie.