Get Into James Shorts - 46. Same Old Auld Lang Syne

Resolutions Over Time

1888:

This year, I'm going to get that damned boulder out of the corn field.

I will clear that line of stumps with dynamite if necessary to expand our vegetable garden.

I want to get three deer for the pot this year.

Brother Thomas wants me to marry his granddaughter Monica. She's just fourteen, but she's cute, and I'll get her twin brother Marty as a brother-in-law who isn't a putz. Winning.

1988:

This is the year I connect to the... what do they call it? The Internet. All of these AOL CDs have got to be good for something besides froggie Frisbee.

Speaking of CDs, I think I'll buy a CD player this year, finally. They sound good, and my Technics receiver has a channel for it.

Gym three times a week? We'll see if that lasts into February.

Seek therapy about the thing. Hell, you can't even type it. OK, time for self-administered tough love. You are scared shitless about AIDS, and it's making you a nervous wreck. This goes into the category of prerequisite to have a life. Celibacy is for nuns.

2088:

I'm going to try out for the Europa colony. I think I have what it takes.

If EcoScam... err, I mean EcoScrub keeps fucking with my hours, I will send a resume to my frat bro Ozzie from Perth and see if I can get on with DownUnderCorp.

If things keep going well with Hunter, I'll give him a ring and a big party in June.

Living under Corporate Socialism sucks raw balls. Seeing the clueless corporate big wigs living high, and us peons in the shitter is making plenty of people furious. Unless things improve, I just might join the Resistance.