Cornucopia - 1. The First Christmas

The old alarm clock in his room awakened David on a cold winter morning. Before he was completely lucid, his body was already getting out of the bed and stepping over to silence it. The absence of the blaring sound helped him to fully waken and listening close for any indication that anyone else in the house was up. Within a few breaths he decided everyone else in the house was still asleep so he could go about his business of getting the day started. And what a day it would be! His mouth split into a wide, happy grin thinking about the fact that his baby was home for Christmas. True, Kyle had only been gone a few months, but it was his first time back for two weeks while he was on break after his first semester in college. Kyle had skipped Thanksgiving, wanting instead to focus on his studies for the end of his first semester. The fact that both Troy and Andy were also unable to come back probably contributed to his decision. David had been disappointed, but he understood. Kyle had been home in October for a long weekend which was good for both Kyle and for Jacob.

David took a quick shower and continued with his normal morning routine. As he ran the comb through his brown hair, he remembered he needed to call Helen before everyone else showed up for the day. It was a tradition of sorts for them. When they had a private moment on Christmas day, they would call and catch up with any news. Most of the time it was about Kyle, but personal things were also discussed. He kept her updated on Kyle and their friends. Helen would tell him about her family there in California and all the things she had been up to since their last call. It was a good relationship and they kept what they talked about to themselves. He knew she would call Kyle later and have her own private conversation with him.

Once he was dressed and ready to go, he stepped out of his bedroom and walked quietly down the hall. Only two of the bedroom doors were closed as he headed down the stairs. Kyle’s door and what had become Brian’s room. David’s heart was still heavy with sympathy over Brian’s situation. While the boys might be fooled with Brian’s dismissive attitude towards his parents’ reaction to him coming out of the closet, David knew better. He saw the subtle change in Brian’s eyes and how he went out of his way to avoid discussion of what happened between them. He kept his observations to himself, knowing that the last thing Brian wanted was his family problems made the center of attention.

Of course, Jacob’s bedroom was empty, and David smirked slightly to himself as he walked past. Another new addition to the house that had been here less than a year. Last year, David was desperate to figure out what kind of Christmas give he could give Jacob and not offend or go too far. He settled on clothes the boy desperately needed. And he was getting the same again this year. Even with his job at Sam’s company, Jacob was still in many ways a few steps behind the other boys. But, if David was any authority, he knew Jacob was going to do something special in his own way once he has time to adjust to his new life.

Figuring out that boy had been David’s personal mission since he moved in. He wanted to believe he had made some good ground with Jacob in the last six months. After Kyle left for college the two of them had some awkward moments where David was unsure what Jacob was thinking or if he was wanting or willing to talk about it. He knew Jacob missed Kyle deeply and that was understandable considering what they had shared and how deep their love went for each other. The only thing he felt he could do was to let Jacob know he was wanted and loved. Privately, he could not have asked for a better second son and hoped that even if things between Jacob and Kyle did not work out, Jacob would still think of this house as his home.

In the kitchen, David got to work on breakfast. Looking out of the window, the orchard looked like a barren landscape with the trees little more than clumps of branches and twigs covered in white snow that had fallen in the last two days. To most people, he imagined it looked lifeless and depressing. To David’s eyes it was peaceful. A small little world, sleeping until the coming Spring and the cycle of life would start all over again. Once the coffee was done, he got to work on the rest of breakfast, knowing that eventually one of the boys would wander downstairs looking for food. The house was decorated, with Kyle and Jacob’s help, and he was looking forward to a day spent with his friends and family. Once he was finished with breakfast David would move on to getting dinner ready for everyone. Most importantly, before Peter and his family arrived. The last thing he needed was a backseat cook.

It wasn’t long after the coffee was brewed that he heard someone coming down the stairs. He quietly pulled a mug out of the cupboard and set it next to the coffee maker as he went about his business on the stove. As the sound of footsteps approached, David glanced over his shoulder as Brian stepped through the doorway, dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a long t-shirt. He smiled affectionately at the young blonde. David’s instinct was to still think of him as a boy and in some ways, he was, but the look in his eyes had changed since graduation. The man that Brian would ultimately become was starting to make itself known. “Good morning, sunshine.”

“G’morning, Dad,” Brian replied with the remnants of sleep still in his voice. He made short work in taking the mug and filling it with coffee before adding cream and sugar. “When did you get up?”

“Same time as usual,” David replied. “When did you guys get to sleep?”

Brian rolled his eyes. “I went to bed around midnight. It took me about an hour to actually fall asleep though.”

David smirked. “Why is that?” He already knew why but he liked Brian’s descriptions of events.

“You know why,” Brian said with annoyed tone. “Sounded like a damn circus in Kyle’s room. Complete with monkeys and a trapeze act.”

David laughed softly. “I wouldn’t go that far. Try and remember they’re in love and don’t get to see each other all that often.”

Brian hid a frown behind his coffee mug before moving to the table. “From what I heard last night you’d think they were trying to kill each other.”

“I know,” David said sympathetically. “I’ll try and get them to try and keep the noise down.”

“Good luck with that,” Brian said with a soft sigh. It wasn’t that he really felt annoyed by them. What bothered him was the memory that kept coming back to him whenever he saw the two of them hold hands or kiss or any of the things that they do and Brian wished he was doing with… someone else. “So, who all am I getting dressed up for today?”

“Sam and Troy will be here around noon,” David replied with a slight smile. “Pete, Lisa and Nathan will be over a little later. Pete said something about some last minute thing.”

Brian didn’t hide his frown at that news. “No Andy?”

David shook his head as his eyes dimmed slightly. “Afraid not. Pete said he was busy with some training and he couldn’t get the time off.”

Brian thought it was more likely that Andy was purposefully not coming back because he was here. He was more than a little annoyed about it but kept it to himself. “Guess we’ll just have to live without him then.” That was a statement Brian had been thinking to himself a lot in the last few months.

David frowned slightly at the sound of Brian’s disinterest. “There’ll be other times we’ll see him. Don’t worry about that.”

“We’ll see,” Brian replied with just the right amount of disinterest and doubt to hide how much it hurt that he wouldn’t get to see Andy. They had emailed a few times, but Brian couldn’t bring himself to express his feelings to him over the computer. To make matters worse, there was the ominous “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy that could affect Andy’s career in the military. While Brian was angry and a little bitter about his choice to join the marines, he did not want to be the cause of him getting kicked out.

David sighed softly to himself. “There’ll be other Christmas’s.”

“Yeah. Sure.” While sounding a little more optimistic, all Brian really wanted to do was go back upstairs and crawl under the covers until it was time to go back to Miami. There may be other Christmas’s, but this was his first Christmas with no family and no Andy. He appreciated David’s charity and willingness to take him in. If not for him, Brian probably wouldn’t have even come back and the odds of him ever coming here again would get slimmer and slimmer with each passing year. Sure, he had friends and more than a few bed partners at the university. He probably could have just stayed there and found something to do to keep his mind from the fact that he had lost his family. But coming back here was supposed to feel more secure. This was supposed to be his home. Only he didn’t have a home anymore.

It was the elephant in the room that he kept trying to avoid. David had picked him up at the airport three days ago and spent the time since then with Kyle and Jacob. Troy showed up last night but had yet to stop by because of jet lag. Today would be their first time reunited since they all left for college. While he wanted to see Andy because he craved the familiar connection between his friends, he was also a little relieved that he was spared the awkwardness of seeing each other again.

David kept himself busy with making breakfast as Brian silently sat at the table sipping his coffee. As he rose to refill his mug, the two of them heard a door open and two sets of footsteps coming down the stairs. They shared an amused smirk before Brian returned to the table and sat down just as Kyle and Jacob entered.

“Good morning,” Kyle said with a happy smile. Brian noticed that they both were practically glowing as they made their way to the coffee maker.

“Good morning, Baby Boy.” David leaned over to kiss Kyle’s head. “How long have you two been up?”

“I woke up when your alarm went off,” Kyle replied. Seeing his father’s concerned reaction, he added, “it’s no big deal. Yeah, we were up later than usual, but we slept great once we finally closed our eyes.”

Brian scoffed and looked over at Jacob as his cheeks blushed bright red. “W-we weren’t awake all that long, really,” Jacob said into his cup.

David checked a laugh, knowing that wasn’t very close to the truth. “Go ahead and sit down. I’ll have breakfast ready here in a minute.”

When they all settled around the table to eat, Brian and Kyle talked about their classes and instructors. Brian had decided to focus on education along with history as a primary focus which got a compliment and plenty of encouragement from everyone else. Their confidence in his ability gave him a small sense of relief, since he had been unsure what he wanted to pursue when he left home last summer. But the support he got from David and his friends gave him a sense of optimism that he would be making a good decision in his life.

They all listened to Jacob talk about his first year working for Sam. His voice was reserved, and Brian got the impression Jacob felt that no one would be interested in the menial work he does compared to what he and Kyle were doing. But David let Kyle and Brian know that Sam had told him Jacob showed promise that he could do a lot more than just replace siding and roofs his entire life. David’s proud tone brought a shy smile to Jacob’s lips from the unsolicited praise. He hoped that he could make good on Sam’s compliment.

David finished eating first and rose from the table to go make a phone call. Before leaving, he told the others to clean up the kitchen so it would be ready when he came back to start making dinner for everyone later. As they washed the dishes and cleaned the table and floors, Kyle and Jacob fell into their usual playful banter while Brian quietly went from one task to the next. The gloom in his heart since waking up had been a constant companion all morning, even if he hid it well from the others. He was determined to not let it ruin his day with his friends. Knowing that the one person he wanted to see most would be absent today made his emotional state feel closer to the surface than he was comfortable showing.

“Is there any news about your dad,” Kyle asked Jacob with a carefulness to his voice. Brian’s ears perked up, but he kept sweeping the floor.

“He’s still in jail,” Jacob mumbled. “He’s still saying he didn’t do anything wrong. But at least he’s sober.”

“They’ll lock him up for sure,” Kyle said. “Either way, you don’t have to ever see him again.”

Jacob’s face crunched slightly in discomfort. “I don’t want him being a bother for your dad. Hopefully he won’t come here wanting to start shit with me.”

“I wouldn’t worry about that,” Brian spoke up. “Kyle’s dad would probably shoot his nuts off if he showed up.”

Kyle snickered as Jacob turned to look at Brian. “What? He wouldn’t do that.”

“Oh, yes he would.” Brian smirked before his eyes went to Kyle. “Remember when we were kids and there was a bunch of stray dogs in the orchard?”

Jacob got an uneasy look as his eyes went from Brian to Kyle. “They weren’t dogs,” Kyle replied. “They were coyotes.” When he saw Jacob’s questioning look he elaborated. “We were about twelve or thirteen, I think. We were out in the orchard, just having fun when Dad comes running up and yelling at us to get in the house. It kind of scared me because Dad isn’t really a yeller, you know? So, he herds us into the house, runs upstairs and comes down a minute later with a rifle in his hands. Tells us to stay in the house until he comes back and heads out into the orchard. We heard a couple shots before he came back.”

“Should’ve seen Kyle’s face,” Brian added with a grin. “About as white as his underwear.”

“And you and Andy had your faces pressed against the window in the kitchen, trying to see what was going on,” Kyle countered with a smirk.

Brian remembered the moment. And any moment involving Andy returns him to those few nights they shared last Spring. “The point is…” Brian kept his gaze on Jacob. “… His dad is a pretty good shot when he needs to put down a wild animal.”

Jacob rolled his eyes and went back to cleaning the dishes. “If you say so.”

They finished cleaning up and soon after Brian opted to return to his bedroom. It still felt odd to think of this house as his home now. Home to him was a quiet yet small home with his parents. True, he had a sister as well, but they were never very close growing up. She was far older than he was and never interested in the things he was interested in. He didn’t even have a way of contacting her. The one thing he remembered most about his parents’ house was how quiet it was almost all the time. Like living in a library where people talked in muted voices, never yelled and never made a scene. His dad would almost always be either watching the television or working on his sermon for the next Sunday while his mother was constantly out and about, working her social circles.

His home life had been boring almost to the point of embarrassment for him by the time he entered high school. When they first moved to the area for his father’s new job, Brian had hoped to meet new friends to replace old ones he left behind. Friends he went to church with and did all the things his parents approved of. Becoming friends with Andy had been a bit of a shock to them. Gregarious, outspoken, and charming, Andy had disarmed them with his smile and his attitude. Brian always felt that they were almost intimidated by him which only made Brian want to be around him more.

Brian closed the door to his room and laid down. Wanting to be as quiet as possible while also being mindful of any noises that might indicate someone may interrupt him, he finally gave himself permission to let his guard down. It was so confusing and frustrating to him that tears always seem just at the edge of his eyes. He should be feeling relief and a sense of freedom being released from that oppressive family that he was once a part of. And yet, the sense of loss still cut him deeply. His father taught him that being religious and being Christian meant loving everyone as they would love God. Why he would encounter such hostility from his own family was something that, while he’d been cautious of coming out beforehand, still left him reeling inside. Deep down he always felt that it would be okay, and they would still love him.

The sad reality that being suddenly bereft of his familial connection left him with the sense that no matter what happened in the future, he would always be alone on some level. A part of him wished he hadn’t told them. He also wished Andy hadn’t left him. On some deep level, he wanted Andy to be there. To hug him and hold him and tell him everything was going to be alright. He was desperate to know that they shared something more than just a sexual experience. Hadn’t Andy told him he loved him? Was it real or just the words said in the heat of the moment? He wished he could ask, but he didn’t dare. And while he laid there, letting his tears flow in silent misery, he knew that while he would put on a brave face and act like his life was going according to plan, this was going to be the worst Christmas of his life.

A quiet knock on his door interrupted his thoughts. He took a breath to compose himself and wipe his eyes. “Come in.”

The door slowly opened, and David stepped in. “Everything okay in here?”

“Yeah, sure.” Brian affected a slight smile and sat up a little more in the bed. “What’s up?”

David looked at his face and took another step. “Nothing. I just got off the phone. I wanted to check in on you.”

“I’m fine,” he replied while giving David an odd look. “Nothing’s changed since you last saw me.”

A small but slightly sad smile lifted David’s lips as he closed the door behind him. He crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed, looking at Brian compassionately. “If there’s anything you want to talk about, you know you can talk to me, right?”

Brian sat up and shrugged, giving David a small smirk to hide the pain in his heart. “I know. But I’m fine. Just thinking about all the stuff I need to do when I get back to Miami.”

David eyed him dubiously. “You really think I buy that?”

Brian sighed. “I’m alright. I promise. It’s no big deal.”

“Yes, it is,” David replied. “Brian… You sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

“What’s there to talk about? They threw me out.”

David saw the clouded blue eyes looking back at him and knew trying to force him would only make things worse. He smiled kindly and leaned over to give him an affectionate kiss on his forehead before standing back up. “Just remember, no matter what, you always have a home to go to when you need it.”

Brian blinked his eyes to clear his vision as he smiled. “Thank you. I appreciate it.” He watched as David exited the room and waited until the door was closed before burying his face in his hands. He was so thankful for David and Kyle giving him a place to stay. But this wasn’t his home. Nothing could really replace what he lost. He gave himself a few moments to get the tears out before collecting himself again. Once he felt the tears had passed, he reached out for his bag and pulled out one of his textbooks, losing himself in the history of the world.

Time passed unnoticed as he lost himself in his book. Brian could hear movement and the sound of David in the kitchen as the morning passed in quiet solitude. In the back of his mind, he knew he should start getting dressed when everyone arrives. But he wanted to stay in that lonely moment, to help put his heart at ease. Eventually, voice from downstairs prompted him to put the book down. He heard Troy’s distinct voice and knew if he didn’t get down there soon then Troy would be up there looking for him.

With a weary sigh, Brian changed into a pair of jeans and his University of Miami sweatshirt. It wasn’t fancy, but it’s what he felt was most comfortable. He could hear muffled laughter in the living room as he reached the door to join them. As much as he wanted to see his friends, a part of him prayed the day would end quickly. Andy’s absence was going to be felt the entire day. Taking a moment to take a cleansing breath, he turned and headed down the stairs.

Proving his instincts correct, just as he was halfway down the stairs Troy was just coming to the stairs when noticed Brian coming down. He suppressed his urge to giggle at Troy’s predictability.

Troy had a hand on the railing as he smiled brightly up at him. “There you are. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” he returned, putting on a bright smile as he came down the stairs.

As soon as Brian was close enough, Troy wrapped him up in a warm hug. “How’s college working out for you?”

Brian gave into the warmth of Troy’s affection as he returned the hug and rested his head against Troy’s shoulder. “As well as can be expected. Having fun at UCLA?”

“Not as much fun as I’d like,” he replied with a smirk. Troy put his hands on Brian’s shoulder and stepped back to look him in the eyes. “You’re a brat for not telling us sooner about being gay, you know.”

Brian’s cheeks tinted slightly pink even as he rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, I had my reasons.”

“How are you holding up on that end?”

Brian affected a smile and nodded. “I’m fine.”

Troy gave him a knowing look. He wasn’t fooled by Brian’s outward demeanor. “They’ll come around. Just give it time.”

Brian wasn’t sure what to say. He knew Troy’s optimism was likely misplaced. The family he once had was gone. But it was enough to know he had Troy and the others behind him. Deep down, Brian knew that there would always be a lingering hole inside him from the loss of his family. If they had died it may have been easier. The knowledge that his mother and father were at home, celebrating the holiday without him, without mentioning his name or thinking about it, was a thorn in his heart he was having difficulty removing. “If you’re thinking about me so much, I guess that means you haven’t been getting laid out there.”

Troy chuckled and put an arm around him, leading him into the living room. “You just keep thinking that.”

“I still hate English,” Kyle was saying to Sam and David as he and Troy entered the room. “But I am finding I enjoy Poli-Sci and government classes more than I thought I would.”

“So, what, you’re gonna run for governor someday,” Sam asked with a small hint of sarcasm.

“Oh, God no,” Kyle said with a chuckle. “I just find it interesting. I have a full load of classes to keep me busy, that’s for sure.”

“Don’t forget to have fun while you’re there,” Sam advised. “Some lessons are best learned outside of a classroom. Isn’t that right, Jacob?” He shifted his eyes to the young man next to Kyle on the couch.

“Oh, ah, well, yeah. I guess.” Jacob still looked flustered sometimes being the center of everyone’s attention. Sam liked doing it to him though, to help him get over his insecurities.

Sam pointed a finger at Jacob while saying to Kyle, “this one surprises me all the time. He’s always wanting to learn. Not just the physical stuff either.” Sam turned his head to David who was sitting nearby, listening and making sure everyone wasn’t piling on. “Did I tell you back in September he stayed in the office an extra two hours because he was wanting to know how I order everything? Two hours. I was like, ‘geez, kid. Cut me a break so I can get home.’”

David and Sam shared a chuckle as Jacob’s face reddened under the attention. “Sorry. I thought it was interesting.”

“Never be sorry for wanting to learn,” David said to him kindly. “And don’t let Sam make you think he’s mad about it. He loves it when someone asks questions.”

“Shows me they want more than just a paycheck,” Sam said in agreement.

Kyle put a hand on Jacob’s leg to calm him. “Maybe you can take some classes next year. See if you find something you might want to try.”

Jacob’s eyes looked down as he kept up a weak smile. “We’ll see.”

“I better get back in the kitchen,” David said as he got to his feet. “We’ll be eating in less than an hour. Don’t know what Pete’s waiting on.”

“Oh, you didn’t hear?” Sam got to his feet to join David. “Nate’s bringing his girlfriend. Probably taking her forever to put on her war paint.”

As the sound of David and Sam’s discussion drifted down the hall to the kitchen, the four friends looked at each other in the quiet the remained. Troy smirked at all of them before saying anything. “So, I guess it’s just the four of us this year.”

Kyle smiled though his eyes seemed to sparkle a little less than usual. “Guess so. I got you guys some gifts. I’ll give Andy’s to his dad when he gets here.”

Brian blinked. “I didn’t know we were exchanging gifts this year. What with college loans and all.”

Troy waved his hand dismissively. “Don’t sweat it. It’s not about gifts. I’m just glad we can be together. Even if it’s only for a couple days.”

“Yeah.” Brian’s eyes drifted down to the floor, thinking about the one person he wished he could see but who wouldn’t be here.

Kyle noticed the look on Brian’s face and decided to try and take his mind off of it. “So, what kind of teacher are you hoping to be by the time you’re done?”

Brian looked up and replied, “haven’t decided yet. I’ll see what my options are when I get further into the program. What about you? You gonna go corporate or what?”

Kyle smiled. “Naw. I think I wanna be a prosecutor. Work in a district attorney’s office and put people in jail.”

Jacob’s face brightened with a small measure of pride in his eyes. “I think you’ll do great at it.”

“Do we get to go watch you work,” Troy asked with a playful grin.

Kyle rolled his eyes. “I mean, you could try, I guess. No clue where I would end up working though. Could be anywhere. Well, anywhere my bar license will be good.”

“So, what then, Texas?”

“No,” Kyle chuckled. “Probably somewhere in Pennsylvania because I want to stay close to Dad. But it could be in a nearby state. That’s how it works. You gotta get a license for whatever state you’re in.”

Jacob got a slightly worried look on his face hearing that. “So, what happens if you don’t get a job around the area here?”

Kyle smiled at him reassuringly. “Then we will live somewhere else.” To emphasize his point, he leaned in and kissed Jacob softly which erased the worry from his eyes.

Brian wisely looked away, thinking of how badly he wished someone could reassure him that things will be alright in his life.

Their conversation drifted into talking about the Steelers season and prospects on the playoffs. Brian tuned most of it out and he noticed that Jacob seemed to do the same thing as his eyes started looking around from one to the other silently taking them all in. It was a habit of Jacob’s that Brian had noticed soon after he and Kyle were doing their year-long-flirting before their prom night lovefest. Thinking about that just brought his mind and heart back to his own aching heart. He was about to make up some excuse to leave the room when he heard the backdoor open and a familiar boisterous voice filled the house and brought a rueful smile to his lips.

“I swear Davey, I went all morning without breakfast so this better be worth the trip.”

Brian chuckled silently as he heard David laugh at Peter’s first joke of the day.

Troy and the others were on their feet already as they headed into the kitchen. By the time he reached the doorway to the kitchen he could see that familiar flaming red hair over David’s shoulder as the two old friends embraced warmly. “Took you long enough to get here,” David said with a bright smile. “What was the hold up?”

Peter let go of David and jerked his head towards Lisa, Nate and a woman he didn’t recognize which must be Nate’s new girlfriend. She seemed pretty enough to Brian. Which meant it was only a matter of time before they broke up. “We had a last minute wardrobe change. Lisa’s got the bags if you don’t mind her setting putting them in the back.”

“Not at all,” David said before he leaned over a gave Lisa a peck on the cheek. “Merry Christmas to you. I’m guessing Pete’s getting coal as usual.”

Peter affected a hurt look as Lisa laughed and returned his friendly kiss. “He got his present last night,” she replied moving past him. “Merry Christmas, boys.”

“Yeah,” Pete said sardonically. “Same present I get every Christmas and every birthday.”

Lisa laughed as she looked back at her husband and winked. “You wish it were that often.” Peter chuckled at her reply as she went down the hall with the bags full of presents.

Once she was out of sight Peter turned his attention to David’s stove. “What do we have here?”

David intercepted him before he could touch anything. “No. You don’t get to bitch. And I don’t need to hear it this year that you would’ve done it differently.”

Sam watched the conversation unfold and shook his head. “Falls for it every year…”

Peter placed his hand over his chest as if struck while his bright green eyes looked forlorn at his best friend. “Davey…! I would never criticize your cooking. It’s always so… hearty. And… vegetablely.”

Kyle started giggling along with Troy. Brian rolled his eyes and motioned to Nate. “Come on. Let’s get out of the old folks’ way.”

Nate and his girlfriend walked through the kitchen. He was wearing a warm smile as he held his girlfriend’s hand. “Hey guys. This is Mindy. Mindy, this is Brian, Troy, Kyle and Jacob. They’re friends of my little brother’s.” The boys greeted her warmly before they all went back to the front room, leaving David and his friends to themselves in the kitchen.

David laughed silently as he playfully tried to block Peter from getting close to the stove. “You should be out in the front room with the boys.”

“They don’t need a babysitter,” the red haired man replied as he slipped around David to inspect his best friends’ work. “Hm. Not bad. Smells right.”

“What did you expect?” David hadn’t stopped smiling since Peter arrived.

“Well, knowing you, anything is possible,” Pete mumbled casually while leaning over the saucepan full of green beans. “I’m not the one who burned the turkey that one year…”

David rolled his eyes. “It wasn’t burnt. You imagined it.”

“Did not.”

“Did to.” The two friends locked eyes menacingly before they broke into giggles.

Sam smirked to himself from his vantage point at the table. “You two, I swear. He didn’t burn it. It was just a little extra crispy.”

Peter shook his head. “Yeah, well, where I come from, they’re juicy and spicy.”

David grinned. “Better not let Lisa hear you talk like that.” He suppressed a laugh as Peter affected a guilty look. “So, what’s the story with this new girl?”

“Mindy,” Peter said. “She’s sweet. Kind of on the naïve side, I think. Not too bad, though. Hopefully it gets past his usual six month mark.”

“Here’s to hoping.”

“I think you got everything all set,” Peter said as he stepped away from the stove. “I think I should go see how our boys are doing.” He grinned at David before backing out of the kitchen and heading down the hallway. Stopping in the doorway, he met his wife who smiled up as him as she passed, stopping for a second to share a kiss before Lisa made her way into the room to sit next to Nate and join in the conversation.

Peter was only partially listening as he took in the scene. It never ceased to amaze him how much Troy looked like his mother but sounded just like his dad. Kyle was almost a copy of David and his boyfriend was one of the sweetest kids he ever met. But his eyes lingered on the one he always felt closest to and the one he was most concerned about. He only had to wait a moment before Brian caught his gaze. Peter smirked and silently turned his head before he stepped out in the hallway. He got to the stairs just as Brian stepped into the hallway. Without a word he motioned the young man to follow him up the stairs.

Peter opened the door to the bedroom Brian was using and stepped inside. Turning around once with a sigh and waited for the boy to come in. When he saw the cautious look in Brian’s face the older man smiled warmly and held his arms out. “Come here.”

Brian’s face fell slightly as he walked towards Peter and into his arms. He had no idea why his fortitude seemed to dissolve as he felt the warm arms embrace him and hold him close. But there was something about the familiar feel of Peter that made his tears seem to cascade down his face as he gripped him tight and held on as he wept.

“It’s gonna be alright,” Peter cooed softly as he held the boy tight, rubbing his hand up and down Brian’s back. “I promise.”

“I wish I could just let it go,” he whispered through his tears.

“It’s never that easy, Bri.” Peter smiled softly to himself, staying upbeat as much as he always did. “I wish you would’ve come to us, though. You could’ve stayed with me and Lisa. Not like it would be the first time you slept at our house. Or second. Or fiftieth.”

Brian laughed that sounded more like a sob as he rubbed his face. “I’m sorry. I just… David insisted. And I thought it would just be easier.”

“Davey insists on a lot of things,” Peter said smirking. “Doesn’t mean he should always get his way. But I promise you, Bri, no matter what, you’re my little boy as much as anyone’s. Lisa and I love you and we will never close our door to you know matter what. Okay?”

Hearing Peter’s words helped calm his aching heart and reminded Brian that no matter what happens next, he would never be alone. “Thank you.”

Peter let him go and watched Brian put himself back together. His paternal instinct compelled him to take his hand and gently rub the tears away. “There. No need causing a scene in front of the others. Troy and Kyle will be babying you the rest of the day if you let them.”

Brian sounded more like himself as he chuckled. “Yeah, because God knows you and David don’t do that enough already.”

“Hey,” Peter returned with a sterner tone. “We’re allowed. We’re dads.” He grinned as the boy smiled brighter. “Oh! Almost forgot.” He reached in the back pocket of his jeans, pulling out his wallet. “Got something here just for you. Don’t tell the others.”

“How many times have I heard that,” Brian answered sarcastically.

“Pipe down, little man.” He opened his wallet and pulled out a card folded around something else. He held it out to the boy. “Here. This is from us. A little something to help you out down in Florida.”

Brian took the card and opened it. His eyes widened slightly in shock as he pulled out what looked like a credit card. “What the…?”

“It’s not what you think,” Peter interjected. “It’s a pre-paid card. Me and Lisa put some money into this account for you to use whenever you need it. Now, don’t splurge. It’s only a thousand dollars and—”

“A thousand dollars,” Brian practically shrieked.

“Keep it down,” Peter said in a stage whisper. “I didn’t bring enough for everybody.”

“Why are you…?”

Peter gave him a droll expression. “Really? Like you weren’t paying attention three minutes ago when I was talking to you? Look, Andy’s not going to college and we have all this spare change in the couch cushions—”

Brian felt tears spring up in his eyes again, overwhelmed by Peter’s generosity. He nearly fell into Peter’s arms, hugging him tightly. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

Peter hugged him again, tighter than before and said in a soft compassionate voice, “better days are ahead of you, Bri. Just be patient.” He chuckled and looked down into those blue eyes. “Trust me. Some day you’re going to look back on this and see all the good parts about it instead of the bad.”

Brian had never felt this raw and exposed before. But the confident smile on Peter’s face gave him strength to put himself back together. He wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt and grinned up at him. “I think I’ll remember this. It’s like a Christmas miracle.”

Peter scoffed. “This is just money. Takes a lot more than that to pull off a miracle.”

Brian shrugged. “I’ll take what I can get.”

Peter laughed and kissed his forehead. “Okay, Troublemaker. We need to get back downstairs before everyone starts wondering what we’re up to.”

Brian got himself back together and ignored the puffiness around his eyes as he and Peter rejoined the others downstairs. Everyone was in high spirits as the conversation and the laughter made the day brighter. Within the hour, David had finished cooking and they all went into the dining room to enjoy their meal and company. Friends, old and even older renewed their bonds after a long year that saw many changes. Brian found his smile and his quirky sense of humor as he shared stories of his time at college along with the others.

It was a good meal, filled with the warmth of family that helped sustain Brian through his day. Occasionally, he would catch Peter looking at him across the table. The older man would flash him a quick wink and give him an almost smug half-smirk that made Brian smile and ache for the one person whose presence would have made the day that much better. Halfway through dinner Troy had asked Peter about Andy but he only frowned slightly and shrugged. It seemed like a sensitive topic, so Troy and the others let it drop.

David watched from his vantage point at the head of the table, smiling to himself as he looked at Sam and Peter. The three of them shared a private, secret smile between them at the good fortune they were still together all these decades and that their families were together. Save one missing, beloved son.

After dinner, David and Peter took up the task of cleaning up while the others went into the living room to watch movies and wait for opening their presents. David looked at the leftover food on the plates as he brought them in. “Think I should throw some of this out?”

“No,” Peter replied. “You have plenty of leftovers and someone might get hungry between now and bedtime.” Without waiting, he took the ham and mashed potatoes and started to pile them onto a clean plate. Once it was done, adding some vegetables and a roll to the plate he put foil over it and placed it out of the way on the counter.

David watched him, wondering what that was all about but passed it off as Peter just being weird. “Wash or dry?”

“Dry,” Peter replied as he pulled out a fresh towel. “I have delicate hands.”

They shared a chuckle as David started filling the sink with soapy water. “Christmas with my best friend. Don’t think it’s ever gonna get boring.”

“Best-best friend,” Peter corrected him in a quieter voice.

David leaned over and kissed the side of Peter’s head. “Love you, dork.”

Peter returned the favor as they set to work. “Love you back, farm boy.”

David scrubbed the plates, passing them off to Peter as he rinsed them. “Helen says hi, by the way.”

“Did you tell her hi back?”

“Yes.”

“Should ask my permission first.” He smirked playfully.

David giggled. “Don’t be like that. She loves you.”

“Yeah, yeah. How’s she doing?”

“Great. She’s all excited about Kyle becoming a lawyer.”

Peter sighed. “Can’t believe you just let him do that.”

“What was I supposed to do?”

“Not sell his soul to the devil, for starters.” He grinned at David and got a playful shove for his efforts. “I guess that’s payback for talking Andy into being a marine.”

“I didn’t talk him into it,” David replied. “He asked and I answered. It was his choice.”

“Yeah, I know,” he said with a sigh. “I just miss my little baby.”

“He’ll come home one day,” David assured him. “Did you talk to him today?”

“Yeah. Wasn’t the same though.”

“I know the feeling. Not having Kyle here is like part of my heart out running around.”

“You’re proud of him though, right?”

David paused in his scrubbing to look up and smile. “Yeah. It’s like he’s giving me new reasons to be proud of him.”

Peter nodded and kept drying the dishes, placing them back where they belong. “Well, I’m proud of Andy to. I just worry sometimes.”

David nodded a little in understanding. “He’ll be okay. I promise.”

Peter sighed. “We’ll see.”

David started in on the larger pans, being careful to scrub every inch. “Did you talk to Brian?”

Peter nodded. “Yup. He’ll be alright. Just needs to heal. He said something about a miracle, but I didn’t have one in my back pocket.”

David smirked. “You used to carry one around at school, if I remember right.”

Peter paused and smiled. “Just for you.”

David said nothing as the warmth of an understood and unspoken bond made him bite his lower lip and remember to thank God again for his best friend. “Pinochle tonight?”

He grimaced slightly. “Yeah, but let’s split teams this time. If I don’t team up with Lisa, I think it’ll be six months before she’ll let me sleep in the same bed with her.”

David’s smile returned as he glanced over. “Well, I guess I can take Sam.”

“Thanks.” He grabbed the last pan from David and carefully dried it before kneeling down to place it back in the cabinet. When he stood back up he ran his hand through his red hair and sighed before turning to David with a pouting face. “Davey? Can we open presents now?”

David laughed at his childish voice and nodded. “I guess so.”

“Yay!” He ran out of the kitchen and down the hall like a little kid. “David said we can open presents now!”

David laughed silently and shook his head, hearing a perfect imitation of the boys when they were young. He walked down the hall to join the others, who were already on their feet, ready for their gifts. He heard Peter’s feet pounding on the floor as he was running back into the room, carrying all the bags that he been in David’s office. David and Sam shared an amused look as they listened to Peter carry on as he returned to the room.

The boys laughed and played along as Peter went around, passing out presents to everyone. As much as all of them loved and respected David, they also loved Peter for his humor and his endearing charisma. Even Jacob was more relaxed than usual when he was talking to Peter. His ability to disarm people with his wit and make them feel at ease only added to the same kind of love and compassion David gave them regularly. Sam was more gruff and acerbic at times but his honesty and integrity was unquestioned and it won the boys’ respect if not their affection.

It had never been a conscious choice for the three of them to raise their children together. It was mostly out of a deep sense of friendship that kept them together and in turn brought their sons together as well. Along the way, they helped each other, encouraged one another and ultimately formed their growing family they loved deeply.

Brian sat on the end of the couch watching Jacob and Kyle as they sat on the loveseat going over their gifts. His own gifts had been nice, and he appreciated all of them. But he kept Peter’s gift to himself. The comfort and security Peter and David had given him in the past week had been the more important gift he could have been given. It helped him to smile more and feel more like himself than he had in the past three months. Peter was right, Brian decided. In time, better days would come. He just needed to be patient.

His thoughts were interrupted by Peter coming to sit on the arm of the couch next to him. He ruffled Brian’s head and asked in a chipper tone, “nice haul?”

Brian looked up at his mischievous eyes and grinned. “It wasn’t so bad.”

Peter chuckled and ran his hand through Brian’s hair, setting it back in place. “That’s my boy.” He was about to say something else when his attention turned to the phone in his pocket. His eyes widened slightly, and his grin turned into a look of surprise. “Oh shit. You know what, Bri? I totally forgot I left another gift out in the car.”

Brian eyed him, letting Peter know he wasn’t buying it. “Uh, huh.”

Peter frowned with a fake menacing glare. “I swear. You don’t believe me, fine. I’ll just go out and get it and then you can eat your words.” Without another word, Peter hurried out of the room.

Brian turned his attention back to the conversation in the room as Nate was talking about his new software designing job. He was starting to zone out again when he heard the sound of the backdoor opening. It was a familiar enough noise that he didn’t turn to see what Peter was up to. After the comforting day with his friends, good food, presents and the general sense of normalcy, whatever gag gift Peter was planning wasn’t going to faze him.

Nate was in the middle of a sentence when it felt like bedlam had suddenly exploded out of nowhere. Lisa screamed so loud it stopped everything else going on in the room. Before he could figure out what was going on, she was running past everyone to the doorway. Before he could follow her mad dash everyone else was screaming and on their feet, headed in the same direction. The sound of exclamations of surprise and a mother’s wail caused Brian’s heart to seize in his chest as his eyes finally focused on the scene just inside the hallway. His eyes exploded in tears and he had to take a moment to remain in his seat as he didn’t trust his legs to support him.

Standing in the hall, wearing a pair of sharp fatigues and a charming half-smirk stood Andy with his father standing behind him. Peter’s arms were wrapped loosely around his shoulders. If his eyes a tear of his own, Peter would have denied it, but he did keep his arms securely around his son as if determined to never let go of him, even as Lisa rushed up and hugged her baby as she wept in joy.

Nate and David got to Andy next. Embracing and all talking so excitedly even as everyone else joined in welcoming Andy home. Brian had to cover his face with his hands to compose himself. The one detail he noticed right away in those first few seconds was that while everyone was gathered around him, Andy’s eyes never wavered from Brian. He wiped his face as he managed to get to his feet. Troy was hugging Andy fiercely as his shoulder’s shook. Whatever was said between them was lost in the noise of Brian’s heart beating in his ears. As his feet moved towards Andy and Peter, Brian’s mind was trying to figure out what he was going to say.

As he got closer, Brian saw Andy’s eyes brighten and Peter giving Brian a mysterious smile. It was only when Brian was standing in front of Andy that Peter finally let go, giving him a kiss on the back of the head and then stepping away. That’s when Brian understood the look on Peter’s face. He had held onto Andy, waiting for Brian to step up so he could “give” Andy to him. It made Brian wonder what Peter may or may not know about how close he and Andy had become before he left for the marines.

“Saving the best for last?” Andy’s voice pulled Brian out of his thoughts as the two friends looked at each other.

“I… I thought you couldn’t make it,” Brian answered lamely.

Andy rolled his eyes. “Never said that. And I would’ve been here sooner, but it’s a long drive from North Carolina.” There was a pause before Andy closed the distance between them and held Brian close.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Brian whispered heavily as he tried to hold back more tears. He had never cried this much in a single day in his life and he hoped he would never cry this much again.

Andy’s hand rubbed his back soothingly. “I missed you to.”

He had much less in life than he had at the beginning of the year. But in that moment, as he looked at Peter smiling approvingly at Brian and Andy, Brian realized the one thing he still had was hope. He breathed a silent “thank you” to Peter and felt his fears and sadness soothed by the only present he had wanted that year.

****

“Bri? Bri.”

Brian blinked and looked behind him at Andy staring at him, looking perplexed. “What?”

“Here,” Andy said, holding Brian’s coat out for him. “We need to get the boys and go home.”

“Oh. Sorry.” He slid his arms into the winter coat as Andy helped him pull it on. He smiled softly as Andy moved in closed enough to kiss his ear.

“What were you staring at?”

Brian’s eyes returned to the picture on the wall. “Your dad.” He pointed to the small picture on the wall in front of them.

“Huh?” Andy moved closer to look. He had probably passed it more times than he could count and never really noticed it. It was a picture of David and Sam sitting on a couch with his father between them. “Oh.” Andy smiled even as his eyes misted up slightly. “Hey, Dad.”

David was passing by, heading back to the living room where the others were wrapping up their holiday when Brian stopped him. “Hey, David?” When got his attention, Brian motioned to the picture. “What year was that taken?”

David frowned curiously and stepped up to inspect the picture. He stared at it for a moment before reverently removing it from the wall to hold the frame in his hand. A soft, sad smile colored his voice as he answered. “This was December 2005. That was his last Christmas before he passed away.”

Brian nodded as his suspicion was confirmed. “That’s what I thought. My first year in college.”

“Yeah.” David ran his hand over the glass covering the faces within. “I still miss him. Especially during the holidays.” He looked at their wistful faces looking at the small treasure in his hand, making his smile brighten. “Here.” He held it out to Andy. “An extra Christmas gift for you.”

“Thank you.” Andy looked it over once more before handing it to Brian who promptly put it in the sack filled with presents for them, Tanner and Blake. “Merry Christmas.”

David hugged Andy warmly. “Be safe going home.”

Andy and Brian held Tanner and Blake’s hands as they said the rest of their goodbye’s before stepping out into the cold winter night. It had been a festive Christmas with everyone at the orchard. After securing the boys in the backseat along with the presents, Andy carefully pulled out of the driveway and headed home. He glanced over at Brian and commented in a quiet voice, “that was nice of David.”

Brian nodded. He never did tell anyone about everything that happened that day to him. “It was my first Christmas without my family.”

“No it wasn’t,” Andy replied. “We’re your family.”

Brian smiled. “Back then I didn’t know that. I was too wrapped up in myself.”

They were quiet for a moment before Andy spoke up. “Well, this was your new first Christmas.”

Brian looked at him curiously. “How do you figure?”

“Your first Christmas married to me,” he pointed out.

Brian laughed softly. “True. Personally, I feel like we’ve been married for years already.” Brian got lost in his thoughts for a moment. “Is he buried here in town?”

“Dad? Yeah. He’s at Anderson memorial gardens. Why?”

“We should go visit him.” Brian felt his eyes water as he smiled, remembering how loved he felt on that Christmas day thanks to Peter.

Andy looked over at him, wondering what was going through his head. “Yeah. I suppose we could.”

Brian felt for his wallet and pulled it out. Behind his license, insurance cards, and credit cards was an old pre-paid card that had expired long ago and didn’t even have any money left on it. But it had been something he had clung to since the day he got the news that one of his father figures was gone. It would make a fitting gift to return to Peter, along with his thanks. He sniffed to clear his nose. The loss still stung. But the memory of his love, laughter and generosity kept the tears at bay. “Better times are ahead,” he whispered to himself.

In answer, Andy reached over and took Brian’s hand in his. If this was their first Christmas together, Brian felt it would only get better as the years rolled on.