Aiden's War - 9. The Trap Is Set

Life sucked. Family sucked. School sucked. Everything sucked.

That was my attitude the week following Dustin dumping me. Yeah, I know, we technically were never together, so he couldn’t really dump me. Kind of like how I couldn’t be kicked out of a club that no longer existed. It still hurt. It still sucked. I still missed him.

Dustin seemed unaffected by the whole thing. He was joking around with his friends like always, maybe even more. He didn’t initiate any conversation with me, and he seemed kind of… I don’t know. He wasn’t exactly ignoring me or anything. He almost looked like he wanted to talk to me but didn’t know how to approach me. Or maybe that was wishful thinking on my part. All I know is that I just glared at him every time I saw him. He had ranked himself with the enemy as far as I was concerned.

The situation seemed to amuse Mr. Hartley more than anything.

“Why are you laughing at me?” I asked him as I met with him during his free period. “Can’t you see I’m in pain here?”

“Bishop, I’m not laughing at you.”

“You’re smiling in that, ‘I don’t want to laugh but I think this is hilarious’ way.”

“Well for one thing, I would occasionally like to meet with people besides you during my free period, or even have a free period at all. For another, you’re what? Fifteen years old?”

“Only until May,” I replied. “I’m almost sixteen.”

“Then what are you worried about? You have years of meaningless sex ahead of you,” Mr. Hartley replied.

“It wasn’t meaningless!” I protested.

“Obviously Mr. Smith thinks otherwise. He seems perfectly content to have had his fun and moved on. Maybe you should do the same.”

“It still hurts!” I insisted. “Not everyone can just fuck anything that moves and just move on like it was a handshake. It’s supposed to mean something!”

“I would have done anything to have had the fun you had the last couple of weeks when I was your age.”

“Yeah, I get it, you were a stupid loser dork when you were my age, Jeremy,” I said. “That doesn’t negate my pain.”

Mr. Hartley’s change in demeanor told me I had gone a step too far. “That’s Mister Hartley to you, boy,” Mr. Hartley sneered. “And I would think twice before I would go around thinking of yourself more highly than you ought. It’s one thing to be confident, it’s another to be arrogant, and you’re flirting with the wrong side of that equation. It’s been months since I asked you to do a simple thing, and you haven’t done anything. We’re no closer to finding out anything we can use to ‘help’ our friend Billy fulfil his role in our plans than we were before we started. All you’ve done is get yourself involved with a volatile boyfriend.”

“He wasn’t my boyfriend!” I protested.

“That only further proves my point! All you’ve done is fool around with Mr. Smith while I have patiently waiting for you to be somewhat useful! It’s time to get over this pointless teenage drama and get to work. Get me what I want, Mr. Jackson, or I may have to rethink my opinion of you as someone I can trust!”

“What do you want me to do? I’m trying my best! You wanted me to get involved with those assholes and I did! They chewed me up like a dog’s toy! You think I wanted to have sex with Dustin when this whole thing started? Okay, maybe I did… But it was never really going to be a possibility! You got me mixed up with that guy! And when he broke my heart you just laughed at me like a jerk! It’s your fault I’m in pain and you don’t even care!”

“Lower your voice, Mr. Jackson,” Mr. Hartley warned. “You have until Friday to get me what I want. If you come up empty handed, then you will see how much of a jerk I can be. I want Mr. Roberts out of the way. The games are over. Get me what I want, Mr. Jackson, or you’ll suffer the consequences. On Friday, you better be in this room telling me something useful, instead of a bunch of pointless nonsense about your feelings being hurt. I’ve had enough nonsense. Now get out of my room.”

What was I supposed to do now? How had things fallen apart so quickly? How was I going to get what Mr. Hartley wanted in such a short time? For one thing I was grounded. For another, I had no idea how I was going to get any kind of information that would be useful to Mr. Hartley. And now time was running out and the pressure was on! I was beginning to regret getting myself wrapped up in Mr. Hartley’s games.

If I was going to get anywhere, I needed to get myself ungrounded, so that I could at least have my bike back or be allowed to use the phone. Mom had my bike under lock and key, and she had unplugged the phone and hidden it. That’s how far the trust level had fallen. Used to be she would ground me but not do much of anything to enforce my punishment. I just knew Brett or Dustin would be the key to getting to Billy. I’d blown it with Dustin, but there was still Brett. If I could just talk to him, but he was still laid up at home with a broken leg, and there was no sign of him returning to school until the next week at the earliest. I just needed to talk to him before Friday. I knew that was the answer.

So Wednesday evening, I prepared my mom a nice dinner for when she got home. I even lit a candle and put it in the middle of the table. When she got home, I took her coat and purse and invited her to relax. I invited her to sit down at the table with me and served her the macaroni and cheese and fish sticks I’d prepared.

“This is certainly a lot of fuss to make over fish sticks,” mom said.

“It’s no bother,” I said. “I just wanted to talk to you like an adult instead of like an immature jerk.”

“Well I appreciate the effort,” mom said.

“I… I think I’m ready to tell you why I’ve been so weird lately.”

“You’ve been weird? I hadn’t noticed.”

“You know, all moody and sneaking around behind your back. I never felt like I had to do that with you before, but there’s a reason and I think you should know what it is. I… I had sex with Dustin Smith.”

I waited for mom to respond. I don’t know what I expected her to do. Yell at me or cry or something? But she didn’t. She just sat there looking at me.

“When you say sex, do you mean like with Tyler?”

“No, we had real sex… anal sex.” I replied. “He did it to me. He put his…”

“I get the picture,” mom interrupted. “Was this your first time?”

“Yeah…”

“Did you use a condom?”

“Yeah,” I lied. No need to get into that conversation.

Mom sighed. “And this was after I told you to stay away from him?”

“No, we had sex before you told me to stay away from him. Saturday, when I was late coming home and you grounded me, I was with him. That was the third time we had sex and we fell asleep afterward. That’s why I was so late coming home. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth. I didn’t want you to be mad at me, but you are anyway so I guess I should have just told you the truth in the first place.”

“So you had sex with him three times?”

“Yeah,” I replied.

“And the first time was?”

“Good Friday while you were at work and I had the weekend off for Easter.”

“Are you his boyfriend now?”

“No. We had a big fight and kinda broke up, not that we were ever really ‘together.’ That’s part of why I’ve been such a dick lately. I’m sorry I took it all out on you.”

“So when was the second time?” mom asked.

“The day after Easter,” I replied.

Mom leaned back in her chair. “Well, you have had a busy couple of weeks, haven’t you?”

“I guess so,” I replied.

“Well, I’m glad you trust me enough to tell me the truth, even if it is a week late. I’m glad you told me what’s going on. It certainly explains a lot. Is there anything else you want to tell me?”

“Only that I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away. I’ve never been afraid to talk to you until now. I don’t know why I was trying to hide it from you.”

“Well, it’s not the easiest conversation to have with your mother. I knew the day would come eventually. I thought it’d be Tyler. I never even realized you knew Dustin Smith very well.”

“I didn’t until recently and now it’s all over,” I said. “I guess he got what he wanted from me and moved on.”

“Well, I’ve gained a lot of respect for you today even if I’m not happy about what you did. It took courage to tell me what’s been going on. I’m sorry you didn’t feel you could trust me until now. I’m sorry you’ve been hurting and I haven’t been there for you. Breaking up with your first love is hard enough without all the stress I put on you. I’m sorry he hurt you.”

“I suppose an ‘I told you so’ would be appropriate.”

“I don’t think that’s ever appropriate,” mom replied. “You made a mistake, you learned, and I think we both grew through this whole situation. I can’t say I’m sorry you’re through with Dustin, but I’m sorry you had to learn the hard way what kind of boy he is. I’ll tell you what, since you’ve been honest with me and respectful, I’m going to respect you and give you back your bike.”

“You mean it? Really?” I said.

“Now don’t go riding over to Donora on that dangerous highway. I’m respecting you, you need to respect me too.”

“I promise not to go to Dustin’s house,” I promised.

So what was I doing on Thursday afternoon riding along Highway 837 on my way to Donora again? Well, I didn’t say I wouldn’t go to Donora, I just said I wouldn’t go to Dustin’s house, and I wasn’t! I know, I used the whole ‘exact words’ routine I’d scolded Brett for using on me, but this was an emergency! I had to have something to give to Mr. Hartley by Friday, and Brett Reilly was my last hope. I pedaled swiftly down the now familiar highway and turned off at the entrance to the park. I just hoped I wasn’t wasting my time. I pulled my bike into the driveway and knocked on the door, only this time I was surprised to have it opened by Brett himself!

“Wow! You’re mobile!” I said when I saw him.

“Yeah, check it out! I got the new model of cast just in time for spring! This one lets me bend my leg, which means I can finally get off my fat ass and start moving again. I got to have a real honest to god shower in between the old cast and this one, so I feel like myself again. I’ll be back in school again on Monday. You just missed Billy by the way.”

“Really?” I said. “That’s too bad.”

“Yeah, I can see you’re really broken up about it,” Brett replied.

“Dude, I’m sorry I think your boyfriend’s a douche.”

“Hey, I get it. Billy doesn’t exactly go out of his way to be nice to people he doesn’t know. If you just got to know him a little better…”

“Well help me to understand him better,” I suggested. Maybe, hopefully Brett would reveal something useful.

“Well, did you know his dad died last year and he was really depressed about it? Did you know his mom’s preacher has been trying to get his mom to kick him out of his house for a year now? You think he didn’t want to tell people he was gay because he was being selfish, but he had his reasons.”

“Look, I’m sure he has a lot of excuses… I don’t know. I don’t even know what I’m doing here!” I said in frustration. “This was a bad idea.”

“What are you talking about?” Brett asked.

“I mean, you and Billy… You’ve got it all together. He’s so smart and you’re so nice and funny. You guys must think I’m a real loser.”

“We don’t think that!”

“Billy does! He thinks I’m some stupid kid who doesn’t understand life.”

“Just because Billy thinks something doesn’t make it true. I think you’re a good kid.”

“See? You just said it without even thinking about it! You think I’m a kid! I’m almost sixteen. I’m not some loser kid who doesn’t know anything. I’ve had sex, you know.”

“With who? That Tayler kid?”

“No, with Dustin.”

“You had sex with Dustin?” Brett asked.

“Three times,” I replied.

“Jesus… I’m going to kill him.”

“Why? I wanted it. I asked him for it.”

“That doesn’t mean he had to do it! Just once he could have kept his dick in his pants. He doesn’t have to fuck everything that moves.”

“You and Billy have sex.”

“We’re a couple! Dustin just fucks everything. You want to turn into someone like him?”

“No, but I got what I wanted out of the situation and so did he. It’s not like he used me. I wanted it just as much as he did.”

Brett just shook his head. “He won’t even remember it by next week. Sex is meaningless to him, and I hate to see him suck anybody else into his mess. His dad fucked him up and now he doesn’t understand what love is. Until he figures that out, all he’s doing is using people and hurting them.”

“I don’t feel used,” I said.

“Well that’s good. But you’re not the only guy he’s fucking. You might have thought what you did was special, I guarantee he doesn’t. You were a just a notch on his bed post.”

“And yet you trust Billy to spend the night at his house and sleep in his bed?”

“Yes, I trust Billy. Dustin I don’t trust as far as I could throw him. He’ll rip your heart out without even thinking about it.”

“So you think he’s selfish?”

“No, I think he’s immature. He uses his dick like a kid who found his dad’s gun and doesn’t know how to be responsible with it.”

“So you trust your boyfriend to not fuck around with his best friend who you think tries to fuck everything that moves? Now who’s being naïve?”

“I trust Billy completely.”

“He lied to everybody for years about being your boyfriend. That’s a pretty big lie.”

“He had to lie to protect us. Everybody knew we were together anyway.”

“If he’d lie about something that big to ‘protect’ you, what else could he be lying about?”

“We’ll find out next Friday, won’t we?” Brett replied.

“What’s next Friday?” I asked.

“Nothing,” Brett said, revealing with his reaction that he’d said something he hadn’t meant to say.

“Dude, you can’t say something like that and then say it was nothing! What’s up next Friday?”

“Well… Okay. It won’t hurt to tell you. Billy’s taking me up to Buffalo to meet with the guy who my mom says is my father.”

“You don’t think it’s him?” I asked.

“I know it’s not. I’ve already figured out who my father really is. I just need to go see this guy to put the finishing touches on it.”

“You can’t just call the guy?”

“No. The point of the trip isn’t to go see the guy. Not really. What I really want to find out is how much Billy has figured out. I’m pretty sure Billy knows the truth but he isn’t telling me and I don’t know why. The four-hour car ride will give us the opportunity to be alone and put the pressure on him. I don’t care if he knows. I just want to understand why he wouldn’t tell me. He can’t have known for very long.”

“So you think Billy’s telling you the truth about Dustin, but he’s lying to you about your father?”

“It’s complicated. See, I think the guy who is my father knows that Billy knows and that he’s manipulating him to keep him quiet. And my mom knows he knows too. Billy’s always afraid of making things worse when he talks, so he clams up and doesn’t say anything until it’s too late. But if we’re alone for four hours and that far from home, away from all the politics and games, I just know Billy’s going to tell me the truth.”

“I think you’re setting yourself up for a disaster. He’s not going to tell you shit until you make him confess. Why would he do it on his own? He’s got it easy right now. He gets to keep lying and you just drift along in the dark and let him get off scot free. Telling you the truth would force him have to be a good person for a change. What makes you think he’ll ever confess without being forced to do it? Because he loves you?”

“I know it sounds stupid, but yes.”

“And when you’re sitting in this guy’s office, giving Billy every opportunity to come clean, and he just sits there like a douche because he’s still trying to figure out how he can get out of the situation without getting caught – then what?”

“I’m praying that’s not how it all ends,” Brett replied. “I can’t even think about that possibility.”

“You want my advice? Spare yourself the agony and just dump his ass. If he’d lie to you about something that big, what else is he lying about?”

“Well no one asked you for your opinion,” Brett snapped.

So that was a waste of a trip. I was no closer to having any answers than I was when I started. What had I learned that could possibly be useful to Mr. Hartley? A bunch of high school drama wasn’t going to cut it. Mr. Hartley wanted something important, not that Billy Roberts was a lying douchebag. I dreaded seeing him in school the next day. I was up all night, far too anxious to sleep. I had to tell Mr. Hartley something. All I had was nothing.

I could barely eat at lunchtime. I just sat there looking at Billy Roberts across the cafeteria. Maybe it was my imagination, but he looked really worried about something. He looked like he was thinking about something very troubling to him. I knew how he was feeling. I probably looked the same way to anyone who was watching me. Billy looked across the room and his eyes met mine. For about ten seconds of so we just sat there with our eyes locked on each other, like we were connected and couldn’t look away. Just as things were about to get awkward for both of us, Dustin sat down between us and broke the connection.

I trudged to Mr. Hartley’s classroom. It felt like I was going to the gallows. How could I possibly explain to him that I had nothing? How could I have let him down so spectacularly? I knocked on the door and Mr. Hartley invited me in. I sat in my usual spot in the first seat in front of his desk. Mr. Hartley sat at his desk with his hands folded in front of him.

“Well Bishop?” he said.

“I tried, sir!” I confessed. “I really tried!” Tears began to burn my eyes and streak down my face.

Mr. Hartley sighed. “Don’t start bawling on me, Jackson…”

“But I really tried, Mr. Hartley! I even went to Brett Reilly’s house yesterday! All he talked about was finding his stupid father and Billy driving him up to Buffalo next Friday to meet him and how he’s convinced that Billy is going to confess he knows who his father is and it’s all so stupid and I’m a useless failure!” I cried.

“What’s this about Buffalo?” Mr. Hartley asked. “You said next Friday?”

“Yeah, they’re going to miss school to take a trip up there to go see the guy who Brett’s mom says is…”

“Shut up,” Mr. Hartley interrupted. “You say they’re going to skip school that day?”

“Yeah,” I replied.

Mr. Hartley began to laugh. “My god, you actually did it, Bishop!”

“Did what?” I asked, wiping the tears from my face.

“Mr. Roberts is going to skip a day of school, with the flimsiest of excuses I’d imagine. But school will still be in session that day, and now that I have your little bit of information, my senior history class is just conveniently going to have a pop-quiz about the United Nations that day.”

“Can’t he just make it up on Monday?” I asked.

“Only if he asks to make it up.”

“Can’t he just ask to do bonus work to make it up?”

“I don’t to bonus work,” Mr. Hartley replied. “Not in this case anyway. Don’t worry about the details. I’ll take care of that. Bishop, you may have backed into it, but you did it. I’m proud of you, son.”

I beamed with pride.

“Now tell me more about this situation with Mr. Reilly’s father.”

I couldn’t believe my luck! By sheer dumb luck I’d given Mr. Hartley what he had asked for. Now he had the opportunity he needed. I couldn’t wait to see Mr. Hartley’s plans come to fruition.

So why did I feel like shit all week long leading up to Friday? Seriously. Every time I looked across the cafeteria and saw Billy, I couldn’t help but feel bad that I’d set him up to get screwed. I almost wanted to tell him not to go on that trip, to come to school that Friday and not walk into the trap I’d helped set for him.

But then I’d think about everything Mr. Hartley had said. He believed in me. I couldn’t let him down, not when we were so close to victory.

And so Friday came, and there was no sign of Billy or Brett in school. I almost wished I’d have run into them in the hallway, Brett on his crutches, Billy hanging around Dustin… But no. They had carried out Brett’s plan. I wondered how it would go. I hoped Billy really screwed things up and Brett dumped his sorry ass. But I knew that was wishful thinking. I knew what I had done was right. So why did it feel so wrong? Why did I feel like such a slimeball?

At lunch time, I sat in my usual spot in the cafeteria. No sign of Brett or Billy, of course, but Dustin and his friend Emily sat together as usual. And then Doug Sanders sat down in Billy’s usual spot. What was that about? After lunch, I caught up to Doug in the hallway and pulled him aside.

“Hey Aiden,” Doug said. “We missed you at the last meeting we had.”

“Well you kicked me out so…”

“Didn’t Dustin tell you?”

“Tell me what?” I asked.

“Billy found out I suspended you and told me to let you back in. He said he didn’t care about what you said. I asked Dustin to tell you since you guys have been close. Didn’t he say anything?”

“He didn’t tell me shit!” I snapped

“Aw man! I’m sorry dude! Yeah, Dustin said he’d do it. Well, you can come to the next one if…”

I didn’t wait to hear the rest of what Doug had to say. I went on a search for my one-time lover and found him at his locker. I slammed it shut before he’d finished getting his stuff ready.

“Whoa! Take it easy, dude!” Dustin said.

“Why didn’t you tell me Doug changed his mind?” I demanded.

“About the club? I thought you were over that stuff,” Dustin replied, sounding very unconvincing.

“Obviously that wasn’t the case, you fucking liar!”

“Dude, listen. I was going to tell you, but then we had sex and then that big fight afterward and… Okay, I’ll admit it, I was feeling a little bit petty about the whole thing and I just decided not to tell you. I figured you’d find out another way and apparently you did. No harm done.”

“Yes there was harm done! You selfish jerk! I’ve been miserable ever since that happened and you could have made it better! You know what? I’m telling Mr. Hartley!”

“What? You’re going to tattle on me?” Dustin laughed.

“You deserve it!”

Dustin sighed. “Okay, look Aiden… I’m sorry. Okay? I’m sorry about everything. I know I hurt your feelings in a lot of ways. To be honest… Oh god I’m starting to sound like Billy! Anyway, I really do like you. It hurt me when it sounded like you were ashamed to tell your mom about me. I took a lot of stuff out on you that you didn’t deserve and I’m sorry.”

“Well I told my mom everything,” I replied. “I was never ashamed of you. I was proud to have been with you. I’m still glad you were the first.”

Dustin smiled. “That’s cool of you to say. I am sorry I hurt you.”

“So, can we be friends again?” I asked. “You’re like the only one I have.”

“That’s not true. Dougie likes you. A lot of the kids in the club do too.”

“Yeah right… So, can we at least be friends again?”

“Well, we could just forget about what happened and go back to the way things were. I’ve missed your spunk.”

“My spunk? Who said anything about doing that again? I just want to be friends again.”

Dustin smiled. “Wait, you don’t want to do it anymore?”

“I want to be the kind of friend you are with Billy.”

“Well, there’s only one Billy. And we’re all thankful for that. Okay, we can just be friends. Although… Hey, how would you like to go out tonight with me and Doug?”

“Really?” I asked.

“Yeah, we’re going to go eat, do some bowling, and maybe watch a movie at my house. After that, who knows? He’s planning to stay overnight. You could too if you wanted.”

“Overnight, huh?” I asked.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. So you want to come?”

“So I’d be going on a date with two seniors. You don’t think I’d get in the way and be a third wheel?”

“You think your mom would approve of you hanging out with a known bad guy like me?”

“It’s her double shift tonight. She won’t be home until tomorrow afternoon.”

“So that’s a yes?”

“Yes!” I replied.

“Cool! Doug can pick you up and drop you off in the morning.”

“I can’t wait!” I said. Looks like things are going to work out okay after all!