String - 5. Selfie

“Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the Mon Valley High School Marching Band under the direction of Mr. Brett Reilly. Field commander Miss Lydia Crowse. Auxiliary assistant Mrs. Sarah Thompson….”

Every name mentioned in our announcer’s introduction received a cheer from the much larger than expected crowd. I couldn’t believe so many people had shown up for our “dress rehearsal!” To my surprise, much of the audience were the members of the football team. Whether they’d been forced to come or not, I didn’t know. But it was nice to see them in the stands, supporting us instead of us supporting them. The loudest supporter in the crowd was Coach Rush, whose booming voice could be heard above everyone else, cheering us on as only he could.

“YEAH REILYYYYYYYY!!!!! BRING IT BROTHER!!!!!!”

As the announcer finished his introductions, I scanned the crowd. I found mom easily. Scanning… Scanning… Where was dad? Just because I couldn’t see him didn’t mean he hadn’t come, right?”

“And now… Ladies and gentlemen… The Beatles!”

Horns popped up, Lydia the field commander counted us off and we nailed the first notes of “She Loves You.” Holy cow, the place exploded with a mix of excitement and astonishment. I don’t think anyone, even Mr. Reilly, expected us to sound so good. We followed that up with the percussion feature, “Birthday.” All of Mr. Reilly’s work with them had paid off. We played a little medley of tunes and “Penny Lane,” and then came the big moment. I stepped forward away from the band toward the sideline. I placed my helmet on the ground just as Mr. Reilly had instructed. And looked at the crowd. There seemed to be so many…

I looked at Mr. Reilly and I knew I could do this. Lydia counted me off. One two three… I played the solo I’d been practicing for so long and been listening to on my phone. I felt like Ringo singing instead of me playing a trombone. “In the town… where I was born…” Man, the crowd ate it up. The band formed a picture of a submarine in their formation on the field. After my solo, the cheers were amazing. I looked at Mr. Reilly who just had the biggest grin on his face. I rejoined the band as we sang the chorus to close the song. “We all live in a yellow submarine… yellow submarine… yellow submarine…” Just awesome.

Our closer was “Hey Jude.” Again, it was awesome! At the end of the song, the whole stadium, even the football team joined in the singing. “Na na na na-na-na na! Na-na-na na! Hey Jude!” Loudest, most boisterous voice booming above the crowd was Coach Rush. Big finish to pop the crowd, and we had done it! Standing ovation from a stunned and excited crowd.

We lined up in concert formation near the front of the stadium on the track. Mr. Taylor had the microphone. “Let’s hear it for these kids one more time! That was absolutely fantastic!” The crowd cheered. I scanned the crowd again. The adrenaline rush of performing was fading. Damn it, dad. Where were you?

Mr. Taylor offered Mr. Reilly the microphone but he declined. “They’ve already said everything I want to say,” Mr. Reilly said pointing at us. Mr. Taylor then introduced Mr. Butler to the crowd.

“Did these kids just put on a performance or what?” Mr. Butler said into the microphone. I swear he looked ten years younger since retiring. “I couldn’t be prouder of these kids. What great work Mr. Reilly has done. Will you show him your appreciation once again?”

We all cheered. Mr. Reilly just shook his head and pointed at us. “They did it, not me,” he said.

Mr. Butler continued. “I’m so thankful Mr. Reilly invited me here tonight, and that he asked me to direct this amazing group of young men and women in the playing of our alma mater. You know, I was asked to write our alma mater when they formed the new school in 1985. I’m so grateful for the opportunity Mr. Reilly has given me to conduct it one more time for all of you.”

The crowd stood and Mr. Butler raised his arms to lead us. We played the song with all our heart and by the end there were tears in Mr. Butler’s eyes. “It’s never sounded better,” he said to us as we concluded. He hugged Mr. Reilly and Mr. Taylor invited everybody to come to the first football game next Friday to watch the football team beat Belle Vernon. As the crowd cheered, Mr. Reilly called us to form our circle just like he’d done after every practice.

“We need a lot of work,” he said, grinning. That was Mr. Reilly. We knew he was proud of us.

Parents picked up the kids and many of them gathered around Mr. Reilly, thanking him, telling him how excited their kids were about band. I just kept searching the dwindling crowd, becoming more and more disappointed.

“Good job, Jake!” Britney said, hugging me. She was just one of many of my friends who congratulated me. I thanked them all, but it all felt hollow to me. The one person I really wanted to hear those words from wasn’t there.

Danny patted me on the back. “Nice work, Finnegan,” he said in his mock grumpy Mr. Reilly voice he’d been perfecting all week. His smile faded as he looked at me. He looked around at the crowd with me.

“I’m sure he was here somewhere,” he said without even asking me what was wrong.

“No…” I sighed. “He wasn’t.”

Danny sighed too. “You know what? Fuck him then.”

“Yeah…” I said.

My mom was talking with Mr. Reilly, one of the last parents to still remain as the crowd departed. I hugged Danny and sent him off with his parents and joined mom with Mr. Reilly. Mr. Reilly was joined by a tall young man who I recognized from the pictures in his office as Mr. Reilly’s husband. I’d seen him in the crowd earlier, sitting next to Coach Rush. Danny and I had talked about Mr. Reilly being gay during our time together after he’d seen the pictures in Mr. Reilly’s office. It was nice to meet the real guy after only seeing him in pictures. I smiled at him and he smiled back. He seemed shy, not at all like Mr. Reilly.

“He’s been practicing and practicing that solo all month,” mom said proudly.

“You should be proud, Mrs. Finnegan,” Mr. Reilly said. He patted me on the shoulder. “Jake is a good kid.”

I don’t know what prompted me to do it, but I hugged Mr. Reilly. I felt his hand patting me on the back.

“I’m proud of you, Jake,” he said.

As we walked away, I turned around to watch Mr. Reilly and his husband walk away in the opposite direction, holding hands as they went on their way. I wished I could go with them.

I put my trombone in its case and tossed it in the trunk of the car along with my uniform. Then I joined mom in the front seat. Mom knew I was upset.

“I can’t believe he didn’t come,” mom said. “I begged him to be there tonight.”

“You shouldn’t have had to beg,” I snapped. “He should have wanted to be there.”

“Please don’t let him get you down. You were fantastic tonight. Everyone was saying how surprised they were compared to last year. It’s like a different band.”

“I told him what time it was,” I said, ignoring mom. “I told him it was important to me.”

“Jacob… Sweetheart please…”

“How hard is it to come to the one thing I’ve asked him to come to in a year?”

“I’m sure he had a good reason to miss it,” mom said.

“Yeah, sure. ‘Sorry buddy. I was banging some hot chick from your class,’” I sneered.

“Jacob Michael! Stop that!”

I laughed. “Boy, he must really be in trouble if even you are defending him,” I said.

“I’m not defending him, I just don’t need you having that kind of attitude when I drop you off tomorrow morning. He’ll say I’m the reason you’re grouchy all weekend.”

“I don’t want to go with him tomorrow,” I replied. “Screw him. If he can’t make time for me then I can’t make time for him. Tell him I’m sick or something.”

“Jake, you know I can’t do that. He has a right to see you.”

“Really?” I said. “Then why are you constantly trying to screw him over and take those rights away?”

“Jake please. I know you’re angry, but don’t take it out on me. I’m getting sick of it.”

“Maybe I’m getting sick of you,” I said. “I hate this stupid family.”

“Jacob, I’m sorry your father was a cheater and a liar and I’m sorry you’ve had to suffer because of his actions. But you have to stop being so angry with me. It’s not helping the situation.”

“Maybe if you weren’t such a bitch he wouldn’t have cheated on you,” I snapped.

Mom didn’t respond. I think if she hadn’t been driving I’d have gotten slapped again. We pulled into our street but mom stopped the car at the end of the street rather than drive up to our house.

“Is that what you think?” she asked. “You think it’s my fault your father cheated on me?”

“No,” I said. “I just… I’m sorry.”

“No no. You have a right to your opinion. Go on.”

“You could have let him take me to D.C.,” I said. “It’s stuff like that. It’s the petty bullshit. It’s like… I know he’s a bum, but you don’t have to be so vindictive on him. He already doesn’t have much money. Taking him to court all the time isn’t helping the situation. He’s still my dad, even if he is an asshole.”

“I have a duty to keep you safe Jacob. If you knew half the things I know about your father…”

“He’d still be my father,” I interrupted. “And every time you two hurt each other you hurt me too. I wish you both would get that. I thought the fighting would stop after the divorce, but it just got nastier. I know you wish you could just forget he ever existed and that he’d go off somewhere and die.”

“I don’t wish death on him,” mom interjected.

“Still… That’s not going to happen. I’m always going to be the string that ties you two together. You can’t cut him off because you’d be ripping me in half. No matter how much you hate each other I’m always going to love you both, even if you’re a couple of assholes to each other.”

Mom sighed. “You’re right, of course. I can’t forgive him for what he did, or the way he’s been acting since then. But I’ll try to be less vindictive, for your sake.”

“That’s all I’m asking,” I replied.

“How’d you get so smart?”

“I have good genes… From both sides of my family.”

“You’re still grounded for calling me a bitch,” she said.

“I know,” I replied.

“Unfortunately, you’ll be at your father’s tomorrow, so I guess you’re going to get out of it.”

“Darn,” I said.

Mom pulled the car into the driveway and parked.

“I’m sorry I lost my temper. I know he would have cheated on you no matter what you did. I don’t blame you for divorcing him. But I don’t blame him either. You were pretty nasty to him too. You both screwed up.”

Mom sighed. “Someday you’ll understand.”

When I got to my room for bed, I checked my phone. Sure enough, there was a voicemail from dad and a bunch of text messages from friends. I checked the texts first. My favorite was from Ryan Crawford, a friend of mine on the football team.

“Coach told us to be there, but I’m glad he did. You guys rocked! Who the fuck are the Beagles?”

“They’re a band our grandparents liked,” I replied.

“Cool 😊,” Ryan replied. Like most of my friends, Ryan was a freshman that year. Being the youngest kid in my class, I got along with the kids in the grade below me more than I did the kids in my own grade. I was happy that they were coming to the senior high that year. Maybe I wouldn’t feel so alone now that I would see my friends a lot more.

I also got a text from Danny. “Did you meet the husband?”

I texted back. “Yeah. Seemed like a nice guy.”

After a minute or so Danny replied. “Think they’re boning right now?”

“Dude, stop,” I replied.

“You kind of look like him,” Danny texted. “Hot skinny blond guy. No wonder Mr. Reilly likes you.”

“So you do think I’m hot,” I replied. I knew that would get him to stop teasing. No response to that one. I finally checked the voicemail.

“Hey buddy…” Dad said. “Sorry I missed your thing tonight. Work’s been tough and your mother’s on my back about those payments so I’m going to have to work late to catch up. But I promise I’ll catch one of the games this year. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. I have a fun day planned! See you later, buddy!”

I sighed and tossed my phone aside. I took off my shirt and pants and crawled into bed. Sleeping in my underwear had become my thing over the hot summer. Just as I was getting comfortable, my phone buzzed again. I saw that Danny had finally replied to me.

“I do, kinda,” he’d texted.

Whoa! That was not the reply I’d expected from him.

“Really?” I replied.

After about a minute he replied. “You knew that already, right? It’s not a secret.”

“I just never thought you’d say it.”

“I didn’t. I texted it.”

“Smartass.”

“Can you do me a really big favor?” he asked.

“Depends what it is.”

“Can you send me a picture of your thing?”

“U serious dude?”

“I’m super horny right now. U send yours and I’ll send you mine.”

“U first.” I said. After a minute or so, I received Danny’s picture message. I opened it and sure enough I recognized Danny’s hard dick and balls. I slipped my underwear off, spread my legs, and snapped a picture. I sent it off to Danny.

I just kept staring at the picture Danny had sent me. I couldn’t believe he’d actually sent it to me. My phone buzzed once again.

“Nice! UR hawt, Jake.”

“U 2.”

“U jackin’ it too?”

“Yeah,” I replied. I quickly grabbed some hand lotion and went to work.

“I’m close,” Danny said. “Just looking at your pic makes me want to cum.”

“Me too.” I replied.

“Let’s do it together! Ready?”

“Yeah,” I replied.

“Go for it!” Danny texted.

I spurted all over my belly. Before I could even come down from that moment, my phone buzzed once again. Danny had sent me a picture of his cum soaked dick and belly. I clicked a picture of the mess I’d made and sent it to him. Soon after, he sent another pic, this time it was a selfie and he was giving me a thumb’s up. Seeing his shirtless upper body and his face in the picture turned me on more than the dick pic. I turned the camera around and returned the favor. I wiped up the mess with a couple of tissues and set my phone aside. Once again, it buzzed.

“Thanx Jake! That was hawt!”

I sent him a smile emoji.

After a minute or so yet another text came through. “Don’t forget to delete the pics,” Danny reminded me.

The next morning I grabbed my overnight bag and mom took me to dad’s place. I always kept it packed since I was always using it. It had the essentials, the Nintendo DS, a change of clothes, that sort of stuff. I already had a bunch of basic stuff at dad’s place, like a toothbrush and deodorant, things like that. Mom dropped me off at the front of the apartment building. Dad met me at the door. That was as close as my parents wanted to be to each other.

“Come on in bud!” dad said. We walked up the stairs to his second floor apartment. I tossed my stuff in my room on the bed.

“You mad at me?” dad asked.

“A little,” I replied. “I really hoped you could be there last night.”

“Just let me know a game when your mother won’t be in the crowd and I’ll come to that one. I promise.”

“You should have come,” I said.

Dad sighed. “Jake, I’m sorry. You know how it is. That was a special night for you. If I’d been there your mother would have started something and it would have been a big mess and then your night would have been ruined.”

“You know, you can see each other without causing a scene,” I said.

“Tell that to your mother,” dad replied.

“I did,” I said. “I told her to stop acting like a bitch.”

Dad groaned. “Oh Jake… You didn’t actually call your mother a bitch did you?”

“She acts like one,” I replied.

“Now I’m going to get another phone call from the social worker…”

“So… You said we were going to do something fun today?”

“How’d you like to go one a boat ride on the Mon with Brian and his family?”

“Eh…” I replied.

“Come on, bud! We’re going to meet them at the dock down in Fredericktown yacht club and ride all the way to Pittsburgh and back. And I’m pretty sure there’ll be a little something on the boat for boat for you.”

“Is it an actual yacht or will there be oars involved?” I asked.

“It’s a yacht,” dad said.

“Is it just Brian and his family?”

“Yep.”

“Okay fine,” I said.

It was about a thirty minute trip from dad’s apartment in Charleroi to the boat club up the river in Greene County. There were lots of boats already on the water, filled with people enjoying summer’s last gasp before school started. Dad drove us up to the dock where the boat was docked. It was bigger than my house. Dad’s friend Brian welcomed us aboard. As I’d kind of expected, it wasn’t just Brian’s family aboard the yacht. Dad’s girlfriend Amber was waiting on the boat. Oh yeah, dad’s very-pregnant-with-my-soon-to-be-half-brother girlfriend, Amber.

“Hi Jacob! Happy birthday!” she said.

I faked a smile. She attempted a hug, but little half-brother was in the way. I was afraid she’d tip over in the attempt. We launched the boat and set off down the river toward Pittsburgh. We sailed past all the crappy little towns along the river. I could see dad’s apartment building from the boat as we passed Charleroi and I missed my Nintendo DS which was laying in there on my bed. Several beers had already been enjoyed by the time we went through the lock and dam near Monessen. We sailed past Donora and onward to Mon City. I wondered if I could jump overboard and swim to shore and go home. I wondered if dad would even notice, since all his time, my time, was being occupied with Amber and his friends. Around he time we passed McKeesport dad finally remembered I was on the boat and Brian’s wife brought out the birthday cake. Fifteen candles were lit, fifteen candles were blown out. Dad washed his cake down with another beer. I’d lost count of how many.

“I’ll bet you thought I forgot to give you your present, right buddy?” dad asked, wobbling either from the alcohol, the boat rocking, or both as we neared Pittsburgh. He handed me a small envelope and invited me to open it. There was a nice card inside that Amber had probably bought on the way to the boat that morning. Inside the card were…

“Tickets to the Steelers – Patriots game on October 23^rd at Heinz Field,” I said.

“That’s right!” dad said. “And that’s already my weekend, so you won’t have to ask your mom about going! What do you think bud?”

“I think they’re going to lose, but it should be a good game. Thanks dad!”

“Aw, listen to the kid!” Brian laughed. “Already counting them out before the season even started! He’s been hanging out with that bitch Karen too much!”

“Not in front of the kid, Bry,” dad said.

“Right, right…” Brian said obviously having had one too many. “Who knows? The bitch might have him wired…”

Brian’s wife led him away to the lower deck before I could throw his ass overboard. I walked toward the bow of the boat and looked out over the water. We made it to the Point in Pittsburgh and turned around to go back upriver toward home. Dad came up to me and leaned on the railing beside me. He had to hold on to the rail or he would have fallen over. I could smell the beer coming off of him before he go to me.

“You still mad about what Brian said?” he asked.

“What makes you think I’m mad?” I replied.

“I don’t know. Could be because you haven’t said a word for the last hour.”

“I’ve just been thinking,” I said.

“Uh oh…” dad said. “I don’t like the sound of that!”

“No, I’ll bet you don’t. If you wanted to go for a stupid boat ride and get drunk with your stupid friends why couldn’t you do it on your own time?”

“Hey! Don’t get smart with me, Jacob.”

“Oh, go drink another beer and leave me alone, Bob!” I snapped I looked back out over the water.

Dad grabbed my shirt at the shoulder and turned me around.

“Listen here you little smartass! I did this for you!”

“Did you get Amber pregnant for me too? Did you think I needed a little brother? God, who knows how many little half siblings I already have wandering around? You don’t have to fuck every bitch who pays attention to you, dad!”

Dad just stood there. I couldn’t tell if he was going to take a swing at me or throw me overboard. Instead, he turned and puked over the side of the boat. He almost fell over the railing.

“God damn it,” I said. I pulled him back from falling over the edge of the boat, and then he was passed out. I left him laying there in the bow of the boat and went down to the lower deck. I went into the little room where the captain was controlling the boat and learned all about navigation. I even got to steer the boat and pull the rope to sound the horn as we sailed past Mon City. When we got back to port, dad was in no condition to drive, so Amber drove us home in her car while Brian’s wife drove dad’s car behind us, with dad laying in the back seat groaning. We got dad into the apartment. He puked again, but at least this time he got to puke in his own toilet. I thanked Amber for the ride.

I took the game tickets out of my pocket and put them in my overnight bag. They’d be safer with me than with dad. I stripped off my shirt and pants and got into bed. I was sunburned like a lobster and I looked like I was wearing a white shirt after I’d taken my shirt off. I played a little bit on my DS, and then settled down to sleep. My phone buzzed and there was a text from Danny.

“Hope it’s going well! 😊” He texted. I took a selfie to show off my brutal sunburn and sent it to him.

“Everything hurts,” I texted.

“☹ Ouch!” he replied.

I scrolled the conversation up to our earlier talks. I’d deleted the pictures of his dick, but I kept the one of him giving me a thumb’s up. I smiled just looking at it.

My phone buzzed once again. “You want to have some fun before bed?”

😊 “Happy birthday to me!” I said to myself.