Confused - Until Bart Met Noah - 5. Progress Interruptus

It was about a week after Bart's trip north that Noah decided to revisit Bart's comment about chickening out. They were in a quiet corner of their favorite restaurant when Noah re-opened that door.

"So, about you chickening out if we were to try to have sex. What exactly did you mean?"

"I was kind of hoping you'd forgotten that."

"Nope. Spill the beans, young man."

"Young man? You're not even two years older than me. Old man." Bart said with a smile.

"Just a bit of fun before what probably is going to be an uncomfortable topic for you."

"A root canal would be more comfortable than talking to you about this."

"I didn't bring my canister of nitrous oxide, so you'll have to suffer through the pain."

"I'm not going to get away with not talking about it, I guess."

"You guess correctly. Now, stop with the delay tactics."

"OK. OK. As you know, I've had a few boyfriends before."

"As have I. Continue."

"Well, after being together a few months, a few times we seemed ready to take the next step beyond oral sex. Most of the time, I was able to sense it coming and broke it off before I had to share anything. One time, I missed the signals, and he brought up the topic of having sex. Long story short, I broke up with him, took another job, and moved away."

"Whoa! That's pretty drastic."

"I couldn't bear to see him again after I broke up. I felt I had to run away. Anyway, another time after that, I thought I had gotten past my brainwashing but bailed in the middle of an attempt. Actually twice. But then I met you. I knew pretty quickly that at some point in time, we would get there. I really like you a lot, and don't want to do that to you. But I can't be sure I won't panic when the time comes."

"In the middle, meaning..."

"We were naked in his or my bed, once each, and as soon as they got near my ass, I jumped off the train."

"Wow. They must have been pretty upset."

"To say the least. The first was easier because I wimped out. I left his place and later sent him a text saying I couldn't see him anymore. Totally uncool. The second time, it was my bedroom, and I had to kick him out of my apartment."

"I hope you let him dress first."

Bart smiled, "Funny. Yes. But it took a while to convince him that it was over, and he had to leave. I hadn't had another boyfriend since then. Until you."

"Well, I'll be honest with you, I'm ready to take that step, but I understand your hesitation. I'm willing to work through it with you, if you promise not to run away because of a failed attempt or two."

"I... God, I hope I can keep this promise. But yes. I won't run away immediately."

"Good. I know you're still getting over your father dying, so there's no rush, but sometime in the near future, I'd like to make an attempt. OK?"

"Um. Yeah, OK. But not, like in the next few days."

"I'll judge your overall mental state as best I can and bring the topic up when I think you may be ready to move forward."

"OK. If you can be patient, I can be patient."

It was another three weeks before Bart stopped having instances where the topic of his father caused him to get upset. Thursday night, as they were going home after their date, Noah proposed an attempt.

"So, what do you think about spending the night with me Saturday? We're both off Sunday, and maybe we can try to have sex."

"I'm ready, in the sense that I really want to. I just hope I can get past that wall."

"If you can't, just promise you won't run out on me."

"I already made that promise. It's still applicable."

"OK. You have a key now, maybe come over around 8:30, pick up a pizza, and I'll try to get out of work a little early. We'll talk, start making out, and see if we can get you past that wall."

"Sounds like a good plan."

They kissed goodnight, quite passionately, and went their separate ways.

Saturday night, Bart showed up at Noah's condo a little after 8:30. Noah arrived only a few minutes later. They ate their pizza, talked about how work went for each of them, and watched a comedy on one of Noah's streaming services.

"Ready for bed, Hammer?"

"I'm ready, Nomes. At least I hope so."

"Hey, no problem from this end if it doesn't work. We'll just wait a while and try again."

They went into the bedroom, undressed each other, and lay down on the bed, kissing passionately. Once they were both hard, Noah convinced Bart to finger his asshole before putting a condom on him. Noah thought it might be easier for Bart if Noah took the bottom first. As Noah was rolling the condom on Bart's penis, he lost his erection. Nothing Noah could do would get Bart erect again.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong."

"Nearly thirty years of the voice of your father, either out loud, or just in your head, isn't going to go away instantly."

"Well, I do have to tell you, this is the closest I've ever gotten."

"Good. As long as we keep making progress, sooner or later we'll get past your father's brainwashing."

"I hope so."

Noah cleaned up and held Bart until they fell asleep together.

Another failed attempt occurred two weeks later. Bart maintained his erection through Noah placing the condom on him but lost it as he was getting into position to penetrate Noah. Two days after that, Noah called Bart, upset about something. Bart was getting ready to leave the hotel around six when his cell phone announced the opening notes of 'The Unicorn.' Noah's ringtone.

"Hi Noah. What's up?"

"Hey, Bart. I know we don't usually get together on Mondays, but I need to be with someone tonight."

"Sure, what's wrong?"

"I'd rather not talk about it on the phone. I'm having a hard enough time saying this much."

"OK. I was just about to leave work. I'll head to your place now."

"Great. Thanks."

"You're wel..."

Noah had already disconnected. That wasn't like him. Bart was worried. It usually took Bart just over forty minutes to get to Ocean Links Condominiums from the hotel. That evening, he made it in thirty-four.

Bart knocked and walked into Noah's condo when there was no response, since the door was unlocked. Although, he would have used his key if it wasn't. Noah was sitting on his couch in the living room with a nearly full glass of some sort of whiskey and ice on the adjacent table. It didn't look like he'd drank much of it, if any.

"Hey, Noah."

Noah didn't respond, so Bart walked up to him and gently touched him on the shoulder.

With a start, Noah responded, "Oh, geez. Hi Bart."

"I didn't mean to startle you, but you didn't react when I said your name."

"It's OK. I was just lost in my thoughts."

Bart sat down next to Noah and took his hand, "What happened?"

"You know I have an older brother and two older sisters, right?"

"Yes, you've mentioned them."

"Penny, the oldest, is forty-two."

"Okay..."

"Was forty-two. Vicky called earlier. Penny had been diagnosed with breast cancer about a year ago. Unfortunately, it was already pretty far advanced. She lost the battle earlier today."

"Oh, geez, Noah. I'm so sorry."

"Thanks. We obviously knew it was coming, but it's still..."

Noah broke down, Bart reached out to hold Noah. A few minutes later, after Noah had calmed down some, Bart continued.

"Where did she live?"

"She stayed in our hometown of Ardmore, Pennsylvania.

"I've never heard of it."

"It's northeast of Philadelphia."

"OK."

"I know this is asking a lot, we're not married or anything, but do you think you can come with me tomorrow, or Wednesday, back to P-A?"

"Sure. I can let Christal know she's in charge for a few days."

"Thanks. I owe you one. I would have gone with you to Raleigh, but you didn't ask."

"I know. It was something I had to do alone, as I told you at the time."

"Yeah. I guess Liam, Penny's husband, started making the arrangements, Vicky lives the closest, outside Trenton, New Jersey. Darrell lives outside San Francisco, so he needs a little more lead time. The viewing will be Wednesday evening and the funeral on Thursday."

"Sure thing. Book your flight and a rental car. I'll see where our closest hotel is and arrange a room and clone your flight info."

"God. I don't know how I'd get through this without you. Thanks."

"I'm glad to help. Obviously, not crazy about the circumstances, but we do what we have to."

"Would you mind if we looked into flights now? I'm sure there are direct flights into Philly, so Wednesday should be fine."

"Of course."

"I think we'll come back Friday. I shouldn't miss a Saturday at the end of the month."

"I'm sure your manager will understand."

"No, it's OK. Penny's husband will take care of anything I'd end up being involved in, anyway."

While Noah was checking flight times, Bart connected to the Hilton home page on his phone, found the Hilton Philadelphia City Avenue was the closest to Ardmore, gave them a call, and arranged for a room for the two nights. Managing another Hilton made it convenient to travel. Bart gets a free stay, up to a week for any single stay, at any other Hilton branded hotel.

Wednesday came and they were on the 8:28 AM flight to Philadelphia. Bart got to meet Noah's family, Darrell, now the eldest at 40, and Vicky, 38. Noah was 36, their parents did a pretty good job of spacing them out. Bart would be the baby of the bunch, at 34. Both of Noah's parents, Leon and Maria, were in their mid-sixties. Thursday evening, Bart treated the whole entourage to dinner at Provisions Kitchen & Cocktails, the restaurant in the Hilton. It helped that he got a 50% food discount. Then it was back to Jacksonville the next morning.

A week after they got home, they tried for another Saturday night romp. Once again, it didn't go as well as they hoped. Afterward, Noah made a suggestion.

"Do you think maybe if you went to a psychiatrist or something, that might help?"

"Yeah, I guess it couldn't hurt. I'm sure I can find someone in the area that I'd be comfortable with."

"You should do that then."

The next day, Bart checked his benefits website for Psychiatrists in the immediate vicinity. He discovered a familiar name in the Jacksonville Beach area of town. The practice had a website of its own. Bart located the doctor and saw that he had a link to fill out a questionnaire for prospective patients. It indicated he primarily took children as patients but was gay-friendly and took adults with issues related to that subject. Bart completed the questionnaire and received a call on Monday to schedule an appointment for Wednesday afternoon. He hoped it was the same Carlo Marini he'd known his senior year in high school.

Next up - "Is It My Carlo Marini?"