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The Last Candle

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The secret recipe for immortality; twelve candles each representing a sign of the zodiac, all contain a clue to the location of the next one. In here you will find dragons and unicorns, rams, bulls and archers, scorpions and fish in space, you'll meet some antagonistic characters, but they all have one thing in common, to find that last candle, for once the cycle has begun, it cannot be undone.

Louis J Harris

Story Recommendations

  • Action Packed 0
  • Addictive/Pacing 0
  • Characters 0
  • Chills 0
  • Cliffhanger 0
  • Compelling 0
  • Feel-Good 0
  • Humor 0
  • Smoldering 0
  • Tearjerker 0
  • Unique 0
  • World Building 0

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User Feedback

WOW that had it all. It had a story, poetry, history, anthopology and myth. What can I say to that. It is an amazing start to what looks as if it's going to be a fascinating story

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Chapter 1 sets the stage richly with some fascinating ancient far east history references, which should be perhaps called folklore. That is always a good place to start a tale. I look forward to the next installment.

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Great opening. Different. Imaginative. Sets so much up for future chapters. I like the use of the Chinese setting and the historical references. You write really well, describing things sharply, conjuring up your imagined/historical world really convincingly and intriguingly. Does the job of a first chapter perfectly: I want to read more.

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So what have you weaved for us now Mr. Harris? :blink: Are you trying to give us learning too with all those footnotes?? :P

 

Sorry I'm not able to give you as detailed feed back as you provide me, but accept this pale imitation as a thank you for you generous help since we 'met.'

 

Interesting start, stuff to lure us in but not enough for us to figure out what is next. You do this very well, and it's hard. So onward. :)

 

Definitely not what I expected from the title. But that's a good thing. :)

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Hey Louis.

 

Taking a look so I can honestly say one way or the other.

 

Gah those foot notes made my head hurt.

 

And do you have an editor? I didn't see one listed. There were several places that could have benefited from having an editor look at it. If you want one -- editing forum - WS Request forum -- follow the directions pinned at the top.

 

Now, about the story itself -- it was good. I'm going to read the next chapter. The story itself was interesting. I'm not quite invested, but part of that is due to your footnotes and all those other notes. Yeah I'm the person who actually reads those, usually BEFORE the story.

 

We'll take this one chapter at a time.

 

I don't do a whole lot of reviewing, I told you that. But... we'll see.

 

Keep writing and stop complaining. They'll read it, eventually.

 

Lugh

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