Poetry Prompts - 3. Tanka #3

This is great, Sir!  Even more so if You wrote it while sitting in traffic.  In any case it brings home our true lack of freedom.

4 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said:

This is great, Sir!  Even more so if You wrote it while sitting in traffic.  In any case it brings home our true lack of freedom.

Thanks, tim. I was, indeed, in traffic. That hawk was like an epiphany. I wrote it in my head, not on paper. Counting syllables helped get me through the mire.

Well. tim said to me, Michael You need to see Mac Sir's poem. Well, he's right. This is wonderful. Alive and as tim has said, tells us how grounded most of us are. Super .. and it's good to see you writing. You're an excellent poet, Mac. 

this is so good Sir

that the hawk is "Brandishing freedom" it sounds very much like a taunt while you are "mired in gridlock"

full of emotion, Sir

i really like it!

I see I'm not alone in liking to watch hawks from the ground. I always wonder how great the world looks from their vantage. As far as Tanka go, this one checks all the boxes  I like it very much. Good job!

I see this as clearly as I feel it. Make sense? Lol. 

Great! 

Mac, this is great. I’m envious at your description and imagery. 

30 minutes ago, Defiance19 said:

I see this as clearly as I feel it. Make sense? Lol. 

 

Great! 

YES! That's a Tanka