Jumping Over My Mountain - 1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

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*********************CREW*******************

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, shit!”

I saw the guy in front of me lose his balance and crash in slow motion, his board knocking around carelessly. His foot popped out of the straps and was haphazardly swinging around. I shifted my weight to maneuver my board around him, as he was now splayed out on the snow. I deftly passed the guy and cut to the left sharply, spraying up snow as I did so. I felt my stomach muscles tighten and that familiar burn that comes from overexertion beginning to creep up on me. I ignored it however, and continued down the mountain at lightening speed, enjoying the blur of people as I passed them.

My muscles were limber and relaxed. I was in the state of mind where I didn’t care about anything but just having a good time and snowboarding. I listened to the Green Day lyrics blasting through my iPod headphones.

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

I was coming closer to the bottom of the mountain and I felt my earbuds slipping slightly out of my ears. Luckily my hat and my Oakley goggle straps held them in place. Green Day’s “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” continued to blast in my ears.

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

I reached the clearing at the end of the slope. I shifted my board horizontally and snow flew out from under the board as I came to an abrupt stop right before a group of young kids. I took in large gasps of air, slightly winded from my fast run down. I yanked my hat, goggles, and headphones off. Green Day slowly faded away. I tucked my iPod snuggly in my North Face jacket pocket. From behind me, I suddenly heard my name being called.

“Jamison! Jamison! Hello, Earth to Crew Jamison!!!!”

I turned swiftly around in the direction of the voice. I spotted Skyler Chin with his brother Storm walking beside him. I waved to both of them as they approached.

“Hey Crew,” Storm said smiling. “Just come down the slope?”

I grinned back. “You know it. But I’m feeling a bit winded. I might have to go home and crash soon.”

Skyler chucked. “Getting old, are ya? Man, the big 2-0!” His twin snickered and joined his brother in the laughter.

I smirked. “Whatever! You’re not that far behind. You guys will be twenty in like, what, six months?”

“Hey, hey, hey, now! That’s six and a HALF months!” Storm exclaimed emphasizing “half”.

“Yeah,” Skyler chimed in. “We’re still in our teens, as in nine-teen. While you’re officially an adult. Have fun with that, sucker!”

I laughed along with them, my melancholy rapidly dissipating.

*********************

Skyler and Storm Chin were two of my closest friends. I had only met them two years ago, right after I turned 18, when I became a snowboarding instructor. I remember my first day there. I had spoken to the old manager who had hired me and he told me to go to the baby slope and that “the twins” would give me some pointers on how to teach lessons.

“How will I know who they are?” I asked.

Brady, the manager, scratched his white beard. “Trust me. You’ll know the twins. Just look for two people who look identical and are doing anything BUT work!”

With that, he turned around in his swivel chair and continued to rifle through papers.

That didn’t really help me much. What did the twins look like? Why did he assume that I, or anyone else for that matter, would instantly recognize them?

I shrugged and trekked over to the base of the slope. I instantly spotted the twins. They were wearing the same uniform jacket as I was, and matching black pants. But that wasn’t what caught my attention. I immediately zeroed in on their loud cries and exaggerated actions.

They were pretending to be ninjas and were using their snowboards as dueling weapons. They were hardly impressive since they were both slipping and sliding in their snow boots. The twin on my right raised his board over his head and swung it around remarkably quickly, alternating hands quickly. Then with a loud “hi-ya!” he chucked the board at his brother, who ducked just in time. The snowboard sailed over his head and landed behind him in the soft snow. The small crowd that had formed to watch their live action show laughed.

“You shit! That almost hit me,” the brother on the left exclaimed once he returned to a standing position.

The one on the right just shrugged and laughed. “Yeah, well, I wanted to try something new and to keep you on your toes. You should be thanking me for helping you to sharpen your dull reflexes,” he said with a serious expression on his face. Then two seconds later a large smile appeared and laughter was spilling from his mouth again.

The guy on the left jumped on top of him and they both tumbled to the ground, laughing of course.

These must be the infamous twins. Now I understand why Brady said that I would spot them easily. I cleared my throat. “Hey guys,” I said loudly in an effort to get their attention over their loud laughter.

Immediately, the one on top rolled off and both of them stumbled to their feet.
“Hi, I’m Crew Jamison. I’m new here.” I smiled and stuck out my hand and they both shook it.

“Hey newbie, how’s it hanging? I’m Storm.” He was the one who had lunged at his brother.

“And I’m Skyler.” Skyler was the one who threw the board. “So, you’re J. Crew then? Do you shop there as well? Hey, you could like wear their clothes and get a free endorsement deal or something because your name represents their store. OH! And then you can get us free stuff! I love free stuff. But then again, J Crew is too preppy and polished. Maybe for Storm!” he exclaimed as if all these ideas just suddenly came to him.

Storm was shaking his head. “Dude, one thought at a time. Jeez, you must have ADD or something.”

“Oh, didn’t Mom tell you? I finally got my meds in the mail yesterday!” Skyler said and he burst out laughing again. I really liked his laugh though. It was more of a loud cackle and giggle, which actually sounded obnoxious. But to me, it was a great, full of life laugh.

Storm looked at me and rolled his eyes. “Don’t mind him. He can’t stay serious for more than a second and all he does is laugh.” He straightened his shoulders. “Obviously, I’m the older one!”

Skyler loudly snorted. “Yeah by ten minutes. It’s cause your fat ass couldn’t wait to pop out of mom’s hole.” Then he started to laugh again.

Storm cried, “Don’t ever repeat that. Gross!” Skyler cackled. “And my ass is not fat. We weigh the same, remember? If my ass is fat, so is yours!” Storm shot at his twin. Skyler only continued to laugh and I thought I saw tears running down his face. Storm shot one last dirty look at his twin and then turned to me with a friendly smile. “So, is this your first day?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I’ve always loved snowboarding and I kind of need the money. So I figured this is a good deal. I can work here, make money, and snowboard. It’s a win-win situation.”

Storm nodded in agreement. “I hear ya, man. I’ve been boarding since I was little and I love it. So does my bro. He first got the job here when he turned 16. And he practically forced Brady to hire me too, claiming he needed help with his meds!”

“No shit,” I said smiling broadly. I already liked these guys.

“Yeah, and the funny thing was, I already had a decent job working as a tutor and a cashier at a sports store. But Skyler would not let up on me. He even came down to my jobs and started bad mouthing me in order to get me fired. He even said I had herpes and warts and if I stayed around I would infect everyone! Finally, I couldn’t stand it anymore. So I just quit and joined him,” Storm recalled. Skyler walked up behind him, wrapped his arms around his brother and squeezed affectionately.

“Yeah. Whatever. I did you a favor. That Samantha was totally hitting on you and you know how dirty she was. You would have been infected with something. You should be thanking me.” He cupped his hand around his ear dramatically. “Where’s my thank you? Come on, I can’t hear you!”

Storm quickly gathered up some snow in a neat snowball and smashed it over his brother’s head. “Hey!” Skyler shouted, shaking his head like a dog to get the snow out.

Storm and I looked at him in amusement and started laughing. It only took a second for Skyler to join right in.

********************

“So you guys just got here?” I asked, coming back from my flashback down memory lane. I didn’t remember seeing their names on the schedule. I always made sure to check for them, even though we were kind of on a set schedule.

“Yeah. We weren’t scheduled to work or anything, but I wanted to get in some boarding time. Unfortunately, Skyler was hung over this morning so we couldn’t get here until now. But I like snowboarding at night with the lamps lit up. It feels more exciting.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but Skyler jumped in. “You were hung over too! You’re always trying to blame me for everything,” he accused Storm.

“Skyler,” Storm said acting as if he were talking to a small child. “I had two beers at the party. You had five beers, and a whole bottle of vodka.”

Skyler pouted, “I didn’t drink the vodka by myself. Dave was helping me.”

Storm eyed his brother suspiciously. “I thought Dave was passed out on the couch yesterday before we even got there.”

Skyler ignored his brother’s pointed stare and changed the subject. “You leaving, Crew?”

I nodded. “I have to. I have tons of work to finish up before Monday.”

Skyler groaned. “All you do is work and more work. You have to schedule in some time for fun,” he said gesturing as if he were holding a planner and a pen. “Life is too short to just do work all the time. I mean what if you died tomorrow and you would die thinking, oh man, I missed a hot chick’s party.”

Storm shot Skyler a sharp look. He draped his arm over my shoulder and squeezed comfortingly. “Leave him alone Skyler. Not everyone wants to fuck up their college career, you know. By the way, Mom was mad pissed. You got an academic notice in the mail. Mom called last night and she said if you didn’t get your act together soon and if she doesn’t see some results after this semester she’s pulling you out and sending you to work for Aunt Jennifer.”

Skyler groaned loudly. “I am not a fuck up! I just believe in living life! Jeez, why is everyone on my back all the time? And what the fuck? Pulling me out of school and forcing me to work with the Nazi Aunt?”

I smiled so hard my cheeks hurt. Skyler was such a character.

Storm shook his head, but smiled nonetheless at his brother’s antics. “We’ll catch you later Crew. Good luck with all that work. Stop by tomorrow if you want to get some lunch or something.” He walked over to Skyler and they grabbed their boards, heading in the direction of the lift that would take them to the double black diamonds. Skyler waved and I watched them disappear.

An hour later I stepped inside the one floor ranch in which I had lived my entire life in. Only now I had ownership of it. I flipped on the switch and watched as the kitchen was illuminated with light. But as I looked around, all I felt was emptiness. A wave of sadness washed over me and a lump formed in my throat. I swallowed and pushed it away and instead grabbed my books and my laptop and started to crank out that paper.

*******************

“Crap, I’m late!” I yelled to myself as I rolled off my bed and stumbled into the bathroom, still half asleep. I scrubbed my face quickly with some soap, dried off and just wore the sweats and shirt I went to bed with the night before. Luckily, I kept my blond hair buzzed short, so no styling was necessary.

I slipped on my sneakers, threw on a coat and grabbed my book bag, a bottle of water, and a protein bar and ran out to my old `97 Honda Prelude and booked it.

It was a thirty minute drive to campus, and even though I was late, I made up for it by weaving and speeding. Luckily, there were no cops around to hand me a ticket. I really didn’t need that right now. There were even parking spaces available. I sighed with relief. I had ten minutes to spare, so I walked leisurely into the building and took a seat at the back of the classroom, resting my head on the wall and closing my eyes.

I had always hated Monday mornings. No scratch that, I loved any day as long as I wasn’t dead tired. Yesterday I worked at the mountain. I had stayed up late the night before studying and writing my paper. When I came home last night, I did more studying for some upcoming final exams. By the time I made it to bed, it was 1 am. My alarm clock woke me up, but not at the time I originally set it for. I couldn’t even take the morning shower that usually helped me to wake up.

My eyes popped open at the sound of the professor’s voice. They felt so heavy. My head began to ache slightly due to the lack of sleep. I’d been missing out on sleep for two years practically- ever since the accident. I rubbed my eyes, took out my notebook and a pen, and prepared to take notes on the lecture.

“That’s all class. Remember that the final exam will be chapters ten to fifteen. Focus on the main themes and the vocabulary at the end of each chapter. I’ll see you on the exam date in this classroom.” Professor Smith then dismissed us.

I sighed with relief. I somehow managed to make it through this class with legible notes. And I had already read all the chapters the Professor mentioned. All I needed to do now was to write out the study guide, and I was good to go.

I needed a break and some relaxation. Only two people could give me that. I whipped out my cell phone. “Hey Storm. I need to chill. You free?”

“Yeah, I was just getting some pizza. Come over in about 15 and kick it.”

I smiled. “Ok, I’ll be over soon.”

“See ya man.”

********************

I knocked on Storm and Skyler’s apartment door and heard Storm shout for me to come in. I was instantly hit with the smell of pizza and my stomach growled involuntarily. Then it hit me that all I had eaten was that stupid protein bar. I walked into the kitchen and saw three large pies dripping with oil . My mouth began to water. I looked at Storm. “How come you have so many pies?

Storm smiled. “Hey, don’t you know Skyler by now? He’s a bottomless pit.”

I agreed. I once saw Skyler eat two Big Macs, two large fries and three cups of super-sized sodas. Then he had asked Storm if he could have some of his fries. I didn’t understand how he never gained any weight.

“Hey, can I take a quick shower? I woke up late this morning and I didn’t get a chance before heading out.”

“Sure, you know where the towels and stuff are. Help yourself to whatever.”

I smiled gratefully. “Thanks man.”

I walked further into their apartment. Even though the Chin brothers went to Rutgers University, they didn’t live in the dorms or even in off campus housing. They chose an apartment relatively close to both their Mom’s house and to campus. They tried the whole dorm thing freshman year but didn’t room together. Each had bad experiences with their roommates. So they begged their Mom to let them get an apartment together instead of moving back home.

“We need to experience the whole independent thing,” Skyler had argued. “You can’t deprive us of that!”

But then their mom had shot back, “Remember that time when you didn’t feel like cooking and Storm had a late class, so you drove here to get some dinner and then left. Jeez, this isn’t a drive through Skyler.”

I remember cracking up. I was over their house having dinner when Skyler sprang that on their mom. After some more pleading, their mom caved in and agreed to pay their rent and food expenses. Those twins had their mother wrapped around their fingers. They each had their own expensive-ass cars and didn’t have to pay their own insurance or gas. But then again, their Mom was pretty loaded. She owned a chain of gyms. Their father was a doctor. Their parents were divorced but remained on great terms. Although they didn’t see him much, he made sure to send them a lot of money every month. I rarely felt jealous of them because they never made me feel beneath them and I usually benefited from their wealth. However, I was jealous of the closeness between them, their mother and even their father. I would give anything to have my family back and that closeness that I desperately craved since I had lost it two years ago.

I shook those negative thoughts out of my head. I had come here to chill and relax with my friends so I could recuperate for my final exams. I turned on the hot water and stripped. I stood under the water spray feeling the warmth spread through my tired and aching muscles. I closed my eyes and basked in the enveloping steam.

*********************HELAKU*******************

“Storm, how much do you think I eat? Are you trying to tell me something?” I joked.

Storm smiled. “Well I was in the process of ordering when my friend called and asked to come over. So I needed one pie just for Skyler. And two pies for the three of us.”

I laughed heartily. “Yeah, Skyler is known to clean out the fridge.” I heard the shower running when I took off my coat. “Is Skyler in the shower?”

As if on cue, Skyler burst through the door. He inhaled a deep breath and broke out in a grin. “FOOD!” he screamed. He brushed past Storm and I without a word or a glance in our direction, plopped down at the table, and tore off a large slice. He ate half the slice in his first bite alone. I stared in amazement.

After Skyler swallowed, he finally spoke to us. “How come so many pies Storm?”

“I needed enough for Helaku and Crew,” Storm explained.

Skyler’s eyes lit up, in a way that was so adorable. “Crew? He’s coming?”

“No, he’s already here. He’s in the shower.”

Skyler lost interest in the conversation and worked on his second slice of pizza.

I watched quietly as Storm shuffled around the kitchen, getting out plates and cups for us.

I marveled at the differences between the brothers. Their facial features and body types were exactly alike. Other than that, they were polar opposites. Both standing at an even 6 feet, Storm had short hair with a little extra on the top so he could spike it up if he so chose, while Skyler had that longer, shaggy style that was becoming increasingly popular and his tips were dyed blond. They weighed an even 190. Both were pretty muscled up and cut from their natural athletic abilities and from the sports in which they were involved. I had even seen them with their shirts off multiple times. God, they were so hot. They had no fat on their bodies, just muscle and skin and the occasional rib bones that popped out in certain angles. Their six packs were incredibly defined and their biceps were super toned with veins running down their forearms.

Even their personal styles were completely different. Storm, contrary to his name, was more poised, mild mannered, and wore nice sweaters, shirts, and jeans, typically from Banana Republic. Skyler, on the other hand, wore bright colors and paired funny combinations of shirts and sweaters and funky hats that only he could truly pull off in own his unique style. It had something to do with his ‘I don’t give a shit about what you think attitude’. Storm was serious and had just gotten out of a relationship with his girlfriend of two years - yet they were mature enough to remain friends. Skyler dated or hooked up with a different girl every other week or sometimes he just partied with his buds, choosing to live without a “ball and chain” until he was like, and I quote, “eighty years old.”

They had pale, creamy, smooth zit free complexions, without any trace of a scar, proving that good skin was something they had always had, and was based on awesome genetics. Perfectly arched eyebrows sat on top of large dark brown eyes surrounded by surprisingly long eyelashes and even, white teeth. Hell, if the twins were gay, I’d jump into bed with them and have a crazy all out threesome.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I was gay. I remembered telling Storm when I first met him, when he joined the recreational basketball team. I wasn’t out to the entire campus or world and didn’t flaunt my sexuality, but I preferred to be honest and upfront, especially with friends. That was just my style. And for some reason, I got the vibe that Storm would be ok with my being gay. I turned out to be right.

His response? “That’s cool man. No big deal. Wanna play some one-on-one?”

I was a little shocked, although pleased. Most people needed time to process it, but he seemed to just brush it off.

“Sure.” And that was how our friendship began.

My thoughts were interrupted rudely by Skyler’s large belch. Storm glared at him. Skyler shrugged and gave him an impish smile in return. “You’re the one that loaded up on the Pepsi,” Skyler pointed out.

“Only because you start crying if you don’t have your soda. For heaven’s sake Skyler, it wouldn’t hurt for you to drink a little more water.”

“Hey! I was not crying because of the lack of soda. I told you, I had allergies and I swear some pollen got in my eye.”

“It was December. Not exactly peak allergy season.”

Skyler crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue. Storm just shook his head.

“Crew!” Skyler yelled out smiling, a half chewed up slice of pizza hanging out of his mouth. I grimaced slightly and turned around.

My breath instantly caught in my throat. Fucking Damn! I’ve seen my share of hot guys and even dated some model types, but none of them can compare to the image I saw in front of me.

He wore clothes that looked suspiciously like Skyler’s. He wore a bright, snug blue t-shirt that clung to his torso and chest, which weren’t overly developed. He reminded me of a young teenager who was naturally thin and muscular, without having to work out in order to get massive pecs, which in my opinion were a little gross. The blue shirt also brought out his eyes. The jeans hung low and slightly loose around his hips and were an inch too long. He was definitely shorter than the twins in that case, I’d say about 5’11 and he looked wiry and very lean, not bulky, probably weighing in at 160. His dirty blond hair was buzzed short and he had rosy cheeks that stood out against his pale complexion, as if he were perpetually cold. His sexiest feature? His full red lips were naturally formed in a pout, with the top lip being puffier than the bottom. The gorgeous creature walked over and took the seat across from me and next to Skyler.

“Nice outfit, dude,” Skyler called out, only it came out muffled from his full mouth.

“Yeah, I was late this morning, so I wore the same sweats I went to bed with. I needed something fresh.”

“I wouldn’t consider his clothes fresh,” Storm said. “You would have been better off raiding my closest,” he added.

“I do laundry frequently,” Skyler shot back.

“You mean Mom does it when you bring it back to her.”

“You’re being mean to your little brother,” Skyler pouted, sticking his bottom lip out.

Storm ignored him and focused on Crew and me. “Crew, this is Helaku; Helaku, this is Crew,” Storm introduced.

Crew looked at me with his enormous bright blue eyes, framed by long blond eyelashes. He smiled and his eyes sparkled, and dear God, he had dimples in BOTH his cheeks, along with a small one in his chin. Super turn on! His full red lips parted, revealing perfect, even, white teeth. His eye color and red lips reminded me of the Irish actor Cillian Murphy. But Crew was much hotter. I shook his outstretched hand and it was soft and slightly damp, probably from the shower he had just taken.

“Helaku? That’s an interesting name. Hawaiian?”

God, even his voice was perfect. It was deep and had a slight easy going drawl to it that sent shivers down my spine and a bead of sweat to form on my forehead.

I somehow managed to compose myself and give a normal reply. “No, Native American. It means ‘full of sun’. By the way, you can call me Hela.”

He smiled and nodded his head. “Very cool. I love names in different cultures that have special meanings.” He eyed me curiously, no doubt wondering about my mixed features. “What’s your last name?”

I found his inquisitive tone and tilt of his head downright adorable. I felt like taking him home with me tonight. “McAdams.”

“You’re Irish?” he asked in surprise.

“Only half. My Dad. My mom is Native American.”

“Yeah, I thought you looked different.”

“Different?” I furrowed my brow mockingly. “Different bad?”

Crew shook his head quickly. “No, different good.” He started to blush as soon as he said that and I tried to think of something to say to alleviate his embarrassment. I found out that was unnecessary however, when we were saved by Skyler’s second largest burp in his entire life.

“I’m done,” he announced, patting his flat stomach.

I stared at the empty pizza box in amazement. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I never would have believed a guy as thin as Skyler could have eaten an entire large pie in under fifteen minutes.

Skyler ran his fingers through his hair. “Thanks for dinner, Storm. I’m gonna go get some ice cream for dessert with Sarah.”

I shook my head. The boy wanted dessert. Holy shit.

“Who’s Sarah? Is she that girl from the Rutgers snowboarding club?”

“Yeah. She’s really cool,” Skyler said.

Storm snorted. “As if you’ll still be interested in her by next week.”

“Hey,” Skyler protested, “this could be the one.” There was a small pause as everyone stared at him. Then he broke out into laughter. “Yeah, that was a good one! Good times.”

Then he grabbed his coat, wallet, and phone and was out the door.

Storm stood up. He had packed away an unimpressive six slices, when compared to his brother. “Sorry guys, but I have to jet also. There’s this study group that I want in on. Need to maintain my GPA so I can flaunt my superior academic status over Skyler and continue to be Mom’s favorite.”

“I don’t think you’re in any danger of losing your edge, bud,” Crew chimed in. I smiled at him. God, he was so sexy.

“Alright, I’m out. Finish the pizza if you want, before it gets cold. If you can’t, put it away. I’ll be home later tonight. Just let yourselves out when you’re done.” He turned to look at Crew. “You have your first final tomorrow?” Crew nodded. “Well, if you feel like staying here to do your work or study, you can. I mean if the food coma hits you on the drive home.”

Crew smiled appreciatively. “Thanks, man. I’ll consider it.”

Storm waved to me. “Later, man.” I waved in response.

Once he was gone, I returned my attention to the beauty sitting in front of me, who was now eating a slice of pizza, slower and much more neatly than Skyler had been doing only moments before.

“So, are you a sophomore like Storm and Skyler?” I asked trying to start up a conversation.

He swallowed and I stared transfixed by his Adam’s apple bobbing around. “Yeah, I’m a sophomore but I go to community college. I plan to transfer here by junior year. I’m already in the process of the paperwork.”

“Well, you seem very together on that.” I didn’t know exactly how to respond. So I decided to just talk about myself. “I graduated last spring. I was on the basketball rec team with Storm.”

“That’s cool. So you graduated last year, huh? What do you do now?”

“I bartend in the city. It’s not the traditional job you’re supposed to take after acquiring a college degree; but it’s something I really enjoy.”

Crew raised his eyebrow. “So you bartend at night then?”

“Yeah, I work almost every night. My Dad thinks it puts a strain on my health, being surrounded by smoke and having a different sleeping pattern than everyone else. That’s why he tries to encourage me to work in his law firm.”

“When you say encourage, I assume you mean pressure.”

I smiled. “You got it. He thinks I’m going through a phase and stuff. He just doesn’t understand that I’m not interested in a typical desk, office job where I have to sit still and stuff. At the bar I get to socialize, meet new people, have a great time, and make a decent living. It’s an honest living, and I find nothing wrong with that.”

Crew smiled at me, showcasing those dimples again. Thank God I was sitting down already, or else I would have fallen on the ground. Why was this guy so damned beautiful?

“I agree with you. As long as you’re happy, making an honest living, and being able to support yourself, that’s all that matters. I think it’s great that you’re not giving in to your Dad.”

That’s it. I’m in love. “Thanks,” I said smiling shyly, and then took a bite of pizza.

“So what did you major in?”

I rolled my eyes. “Law and Politics. I had to give that to my Dad, at least.” I paused to drink some Pepsi. “But in all fairness, the classes were interesting and I do have a knack for it. I guess it runs in the family. And even though he pressures me like crazy, he’s a damn awesome Dad. He’s way more supportive than most Dads.”

“How so?” Crew asked curiously.

“Well he didn’t kick me out of the house when I came…” I trailed off, suddenly uncertain if Crew would be as open minded as Storm was. Just because the two of them were friends didn’t guarantee that Crew held the same views on homosexuals.

“When I came to him and had to tell him I almost got kicked out of school after getting caught with alcohol on campus,” I improvised. It was partly true. I had got caught with alcohol on campus, but only by the RA, who ended up joining me in getting shit faced and plastered.

Crew frowned. “Well, I didn’t think that would warrant him kicking you out the house.”

“You don’t know my Dad,” I stated weakly. I was such a shitty liar. I had to become a better liar.

Note to self - practice lying starting tomorrow.

Thankfully, Crew accepted his answer with a shrug and continued to eat. “So what’s your major?” I asked, not quite ready to stop talking to this angel.

Crew swallowed and I was once again blessed with his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. “Well I haven’t declared anything since I’m gonna be transferring anyway. So I have most of the core requirements out of the way, and I’m taking the introductory courses to my majors. I’m double majoring,” he explained.

My brow shot up. “Wow, I’m impressed. What two majors would that be?”

“History and Exercise Science and Sport Studies.”

“Wow, those two are pretty different. What made you decide to do that?”

“Well, I love history and I figured if nothing works out after graduation, I can go get a masters degree and become a history teacher. Or Plan B, I could be a personal trainer and have a degree that backs that up and work for Storm and Skyler’s mom.”

“You really have it all planned out, don’t you?” I asked, amused.

“Not really. It’s more like a rough outline. I’m sure some things will get changed along the way. But at least I have a direction to work towards,” Crew responded aiming those baby blues in my direction again.

“You’re brilliant man. You should become a guidance counselor. I wish I had you back in high school.” And boy did I wish I had him back in high school.

Crew blushed. He got even hotter when he blushed. “Thank you.” So polite too. Yummy.

“Ah, I’m done. I can’t eat another bite,” I said grabbing a napkin. Compared to the Chin twins, I had a pathetic three slices. And I was the tallest and heaviest out of all of them.

Even little Crew ate more and was still going strong. “Well I’m still starving. All I had today was a protein bar. I didn’t have time for anything else and I had back to back classes otherwise.” He stared at me pleadingly. “Come on, don’t watch me eat. I hate eating alone. Have some more, please?” He widened his eyes and stared at me unblinking and his lower lip stuck out slightly.

Oh shit, who the hell could resist that face, even when he wasn’t trying to give me the puppy-eyed look? I sighed and pretended to be doing him a huge favor. I picked up a slice and took a bite slowly, exaggerating the action for his benefit.

He smiled happily, as if he was a child that had got his own way. Beautiful. He was simply beautiful.

I was sad at the end of the night when he went to go home, saying he had to prep for finals.

When I got back to my apartment, just a few floors up above Storm and Skyler’s, I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes. I dreamt of Crew’s full red lips, smile, dimples, and blue eyes.

***********************CREW*********************

Winter Break. One full month of no school. Was there ever a more beautiful concept that that?

Even better, I told my boss, Brady, at the mountain that I could work everyday until school started back. He knew about my tight financial situation and agreed. Plus, I never went on vacation and I was one of those extremely reliable people. Winter break couldn’t get any better than that. One month of snowboarding. If I died right now, I would die a happy man.

Finals were over. I could finally relax and not read another textbook until the next semester started. My brain was completely maxed out after all that studying I had done all semester. But I checked my grades and I had received straight As. I would have a nice solid, easy transition in my transfer to University.

The only things that could possibly bum me out are the holidays. But even without my family around anymore, I still managed to have lots of fun every year, all thanks to Skyler and Storm. I spent Christmas Eve snowboarding with the twins and then attended their large holiday party with friends and family. Then, Christmas Day, I had dinner with the twins and their mom, something low key and quiet. It was a tradition to rent movies, (Blockbuster is always open), and eat loads of Chinese takeout and Dunkin Donuts. We had a donut eating contest; guess who won that one? I’ll give you a hint: Skyler packed away an amazing dozen chocolate cream filled powdered donuts, much to his mother’s dismay.

“You’re not eating healthy enough Skyler. I worry you’re not getting enough nutrition. Pizza and donuts shouldn’t be diet staples,” Mrs. Chin said, shaking her head at her son disapprovingly.

Skyler rolled his eyes and took a huge bite of another donut. “Come on, Mom. I was naturally blessed with a fast metabolism. Why not take advantage of it now, before I become middle aged and fat?”

They were my family now, and a damn good family at that. I may as well change my name to Crew Chin and proclaim myself their brother. That would be a twist. I am the complete opposite of Asian looking.

We repeated the annual Christmas tradition Christmas day, which happened to be yesterday. This morning, despite Skyler’s tired grunts, the three of us decided to start snowboarding right away. We were all working here full time for the next month, however, for different circumstances.

So now, here I am, December 26, a bright sunny day, despite it being winter. I was in my favorite place, sitting on the lift, waiting to reach the top of the black diamond slope. I sighed in contentment.

As soon as I got here, I split up with the twins, wanting to get in a run of my own before beginning the lessons. So, I prepped my iPod and was searching through the songs. I was in the mood for something fun, since I was determined to be in a good mood. I came upon Weezer’s “Beverly Hills” and highlighted it. The lift ride was almost over and I stuck in my headphones and secured them with my goggles. Then I pressed play and jumped off the lift, ready for the rush I always got from snowboarding.

I followed the curves of the trail swiftly and shifted my weight from side to side perfectly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a snowboarder get a tad too close to me, so I twisted my hips sharply and created some distance between us. Going at fast speeds downhill and colliding with someone only created injuries. It didn’t help the guy though, because after I efficiently passed him, he slid on his butt. I smiled and continued on my way, with the Weezer lyrics blasting in my ears.

Along this trail there were some bumps created to make it more challenging. So, as I approached one, I prepared myself for a jump. I tightened my stomach muscles and lifted my legs along with the board, and sailed in the air. I landed solidly and smoothly, continuing along as if I had never jumped at all. Yeah, I’m so awesome. I know it. Can’t deny what is true, now can ya?

By the time I made it down to the bottom of the slope and to the area where the lessons were taking place, I easily spotted Skyler and Storm. For one thing, Skyler was jumping up and down and waving at me frantically. Storm was talking to someone who looked really familiar; only at this distance, I couldn’t make out who it was.

I steered myself in their direction, returning Skyler’s wave. I stopped right in front of Storm and the guy he was talking to, who had his back to me. I sprayed some snow on his legs when I turned my board. He spun around to face me.

I gave silent thanks that I still had the goggles on that looked like mirrors outside, so he could not see my eyes. Everyone said my stupid eyes gave everything away. It was the same guy I had met at the twin’s apartment two weeks ago. Helaku McAdams, or Hela, gorgeous, manly, Hela with the high cheekbones and defined jaw. Sexy.

“Hey Crew. Long time no see,” he said, grinning at me widely. He had a small space between his two front teeth and his nose became even longer and more pointed when he smiled; but I liked it. I thought it gave him more character. He turned his hazel green eyes on me. They stood out against his dark tanned skin, which was most likely from his mother’s Native American side. His dark brown, almost black hair glinted in the sunlight and it was styled in a faux hawk. Overall, I loved his look. Total badass. I wouldn’t mind him ravaging me.

“Hey, man. What are you doing here?”

“Well after two days with my Dad and my soon to be Step-Mother, I could really use the break from family and have some fun with friends. So I accepted their invitation,” he said pointing at the twins.

“Yeah, and it’s about time you learned to snowboard. How can you be twenty one years of age and have never stepped foot on a snowboard? I thought you rich kids lived to snowboard or at least ski,” Skyler interrupted.

Helaku glared at him. “I don’t care much for winter sports.”

“So what sports do you do then?” I asked. I enjoyed teasing Hela. He got cute when he got irritated.

He turned to me and it looked as if his green eyes softened. He looked down at the ground as if suddenly embarrassed. “I did gymnastics when I was younger and then competitive fencing. My Dad said it would make me smarter.”

“That’s awesome, man. I always thought gymnasts and fencers were cool,” I replied. He smiled warmly at me. “So you never snowboarded before? Are you taking a lesson?”

Hela nodded. “Yeah, a private lesson. You’re my instructor.”

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Really?” I usually didn’t do private lessons. I liked being with kids, and Skyler always had group lessons too, because he was a giant kid himself. Storm was the one who usually did private lessons. He liked to instruct people one on one in order to maximize the learning process.

“Yeah, I saw the people who are going to be in the group lesson. There is a really good looking girl and I’d like to meet her,” Storm replied.

I fought back a grin. I didn’t think Storm needed much to get anyone’s attention. His appearance was pretty striking.

Storm mistook my serious expression and lack of a rebuttal as annoyance. I felt Hela’s worried gaze on me.

“Come on man, please? I’d like to have a date for our New Year’s Eve party,” Storm reasoned. It was his way of begging, although he never mastered the whole begging thing and the whining aspect. He was too reserved and diplomatic about it.

I smiled. “Of course I don’t mind. I was just surprised.” I turned to Hela. “So did you just pay for one lesson?”

Hela shook his head. “I didn’t think I could master this sport with one lesson. So I paid for three and I might do more if necessary.”

“This guy,” Skyler rolled his eyes. “Such a stiff. I say you should just wing it and have a good time. Go all balls out.”

“No, because if he did that he could hurt himself or worse, he could hurt someone else. That would be irresponsible,” Storm argued.

Skyler snorted and rolled his eyes, his hair flopping into his eyes. “Ok, Mr. After School Special. Jeez, take a load off will ya?”

Secretly I was pleased with having six straight hours with Hela. It would give me more time to get to know him - as a friend of course. No guy as hot as him would ever be gay. Even if he were, he would never want to be with someone as inexperienced and awkward as I.

I smiled at Hela. “Ok, do you want to get started then?”

Hela turned his piercing eyes on me and nodded. He stepped closer to me and I secretly took in a deep breath. I was 5’11. Hela towered over me at about 6’2, and was much heavier than I was. His broad shoulders, probably from his younger days as a gymnast, help him to fill out his jacket deliciously and his legs looked long and strong. I had to look away before I got too aroused. My snowboarding pants weren’t able to strap down my goods as effectively as my jeans would have.

“Ok then, follow me. We need to find an open spot.” With that, I led the way, carrying my board with my right arm. When I located a sufficient area, I swiveled around and came face to face with Hela. I didn’t realize he was following me that closely. I took a step back reflexively, but he took another step forward, staring intently at me. I looked away.

I gestured, “This area is good. Put down your board and let me explain some basic guidelines.” Hela just continued to stare at me. I waved my hand in front of his face. “Hela?”

He shook his head as if shaking himself out of his trance like state. “Sorry.”

“No problem.” I placed my board on the ground, with the bindings touching the snow. “First thing, when you’re not using it, always place your board this way on the ground. If you leave it on the ground on the smooth side, it will just slide down the mountain and you’ll never be able to catch it.”

“Okay, let me show you how to stop or at least remain stationary, when you’re getting ready to go.” I bent down and strapped my feet into my board. Hela copied my actions, or at least tried to. When he turned his board over, it started to slide and he just caught it in time. “It would be easier if you sat down to strap your feet in,” I offered.

Once he got himself settled in, he tried to stand, but couldn’t seem to find his balance without slipping a little and falling back down again. I chuckled and he shot me a dirty look. “Laughing at me? Not everyone can be a pro like you.” I started laughing again after he said that. “Here, grab my hands. I’ll pull you up.” He grabbed tightly onto my hands and I leaned all my body weight backwards and gave a heavy pull. Hela helped a little by pushing on his legs and he shot up easily; but he was a little unsteady and somehow landed on me, his arms wrapping around my torso. I leaned into him in order not to lose balance and fall backwards. To other people, it would appear as if we were hugging.

“You ok?” Hela asked quietly.

“Yeah, I just didn’t expect you to push up that way. I was surprised, that’s all.” I tried to pull myself from his grasp, but his arms were still wrapped around me. “If you have your balance, you can let go of me now,” I joked. Hela smiled. There was something else in his eyes, but I couldn’t read it before it disappeared.

I firmly grasped his wrists. “Hold onto me. Turn your board so it’s horizontal, and lean backwards. This will keep you from sliding further.” He did as I said and finally wasn’t slipping around anymore. I missed the warmth of his arms around me.

“Okay, by leaning your weight backwards you won’t go anywhere, but it only works if the mountain is going in a downward direction. If you were at the bottom of the mountain and the slope is going in an upward direction, you need to lean on your toes to remain still. If you leaned on your heels, you would fall backwards,” I explained patiently.

“Okay, so here’s the first thing you’re going to do. I want you to board down in a straight line and then lean on your heels to stop. Try that for me,” I ordered.

Hela looked nervous. “Um, ok.”

“Don’t worry. Board in my direction and I’ll be there to catch you, in case you can’t stop properly. Here, let me demonstrate first,” I reassured him.

I angled my board vertically and slid slowly downwards and when I started to gain more speed, I abruptly did a heel turn and came to a stop. Then I jumped and twisted around so I was leaning on my toes. “Your turn,” I announced smiling.

Hela was chewing on his bottom lip, but he slowly prepared to board towards me. He slid down like I did and when I saw him gain speed, I yelled, “Lean on your heels!”

He did that and snow sprayed on me as he came to a perfect stop; but then he started to slide in a different direction. I grabbed onto him and dug my toes in to support his heavier weight.

I smiled at him. “Good job. You’re a natural.”

Hela graced me with such a large and genuine smile, I wanted nothing more than to jump into his strong arms and hug him. But since I was a sane person, living in a largely heterosexual world, and didn’t want to get a beating, I refrained. Instead I told him to unstrap his board so we could try it again.

*********************

Six hours later, and at the end of the three lessons, Hela had mastered stopping, doing both heel and toe turns, and could even complete a full rotation on the slope. He refused to go on the lift though, promising to go his second time. He didn’t want to be too overzealous on his first day.

We searched for Storm and Skyler. We three finished work at the same time. I spotted Storm chatting with a tall, leggy blond, who I assumed was the girl he wanted to ask to his New Years Eve party. Right beside them was Skyler, talking to a young boy with white blond hair.

I approached them. The blond girl was in fact the hottie Storm was interested in. Her name was Kate. The little blond boy turned out to be her younger brother, Ryan, who apparently was in awe of goofy Skyler. Kate and Ryan left to meet up with their family. Storm, Skyler, and I all looked at each other and said in unison, “IHOP!”

**********************HELAKU**********************

“So how come you guys aren’t going somewhere for winter break?” I asked the twins as we took our seats at IHOP.

“Well, normally we would, but Dumbo over here,” Storm pointed to his brother, “messed up this semester and has to take a winter course. I could have gone by myself, but unfortunately, it wouldn’t have been the same.”

“Yeah, he’s just saying that as an excuse. The truth is he doesn’t have any other friends. All he’s got is me, his own flesh and blood,” Skyler said, but then let out a grunt as Storm elbowed him sharply.

“But aren’t you working full time with us? How are you managing winter session also?” Crew asked curiously.

“I’m doing courses at night. I couldn’t bear the thought of morning classes. That would mean I would have to give up my snowboarding time, and that just wouldn’t fly with me,” Skyler explained. “But winter session totally sucks. It’s like three hours every night, five days a week! That’s absolute torture!” he exclaimed.

“Well, you have to take this writing class. I still can’t believe you failed it,” Storm said disapprovingly.

Skyler rolled his eyes. “I could have totally passed if I went to class.”

“Then why didn’t you?” I asked amused.

He shrugged. “I had better things to do…like sleep.”

“Well, you better not mess up this time, Sky. Your GPA will be totally ruined and Mom seemed pretty serious about pulling you out of school and forcing you to work with…”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Aunt Jennifer, otherwise known as the Nazi,” Sky replied rolling his eyes.

“Why do you call her that?” I asked curiously.

“Because she’s insane! She’s a cool Aunt and everything, really interesting to talk to and always has funny stories, but she’s insane about working. She works people very hard and is tough on our cousins. I’m so glad she didn’t end up being my Mom,” Skyler said.

We all laughed at his last comment, except Skyler, who looked entirely serious for once.

“You know Storm, if you wanted to be an awesome big brother,” he stressed the big, “you could be a doll and go to my class for me and help me pass the writing course.”

Storm guffawed. “Hell no! It’s not my responsibility to make sure you pass. Especially when you’re perfectly capable of doing that yourself,” he stated firmly.

“Jeez, can’t you help a brother out?” Skyler asked rolling his eyes; but he dropped the subject.

“So, when does it start? Tonight?” Crew asked.

Skyler nodded. “So I have to fill up on food to get me through the class. I need my energy,” he proclaimed, closing his menu and searching for a waiter. “Waiter!” he yelled out, waving his arm.

Storm swatted his head. “Be patient,” he hissed. “Stop acting like an ass.”

Finally, a cute young waiter, probably around seventeen or eighteen, walked over and asked us what we would like.

Skyler jumped in first to place his heavy order. “I’ll have the mozzarella sticks, chicken finger platter, onion rings, and chocolate chip pancakes, with no whipped cream please. I’m trying to watch my figure,” he said, prompting not only laughter from us, but from the waiter also.

“I’ll have the chicken stacker,” I said when it was my turn, but I noticed the waiter was writing my order down, but focusing intently on something else. I followed his gaze and my eyes fell upon Crew.

Holy shit! The waiter was checking out Crew.

“And what will you have?” the waiter asked in what I can only say was a flirty tone.

“Um, I’ll have the cheeseburger, with bacon and extra cheese. And a Sprite,” Crew said smiling at the waiter, flashing those gorgeous dimples.

The waiter’s smile widened. “Sure thing.” Then he reached out and took the menu from Crew, brushing his hand slightly and then grabbing the rest of our menus without taking his eyes off of Crew.

I felt a flash of anger and had to fight the urge to grab Crew and yell, “He’s mine!” I only hoped that Crew didn’t find the waiter’s light brown curly hair and dark brown eyes attractive.

“I’ll be right out with your order,” the waiter said, talking to all of us, but looking directly at Crew. Then he smiled and walked away.

Skyler immediately started to crack up and we all looked at him questioningly. “Did you just see that?”

“See what?” Crew asked, confused.

I continued to stare at Skyler curiously. Did he also notice the waiter hitting on Crew?

“That waiter was totally scamming on you, bud!” Skyler said, cackling even louder. So I wasn’t the only one who had noticed that, and Skyler wasn’t even gay.

“What?” Crew gasped. “No, he wasn’t!”

“I hate to say it, but I think Skyler’s right,” Storm chimed in. “He barely took his eyes off you, even when he was taking our orders and he was constantly smiling at you.”

“You’re wrong!” Crew protested.

Skyler rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Angelina Jolie.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Angelina Jolie?”

“Yeah, he has her lips, only more red.” Skyler pointed to Crew.

I looked over at Crew, who was rapidly turning red, and stared at his lips. They were full and had the same pouting shape as the actress. He placed his hand over his mouth as we all stared. “Stop it, you guys. I can’t help how my lips are!” he whined like a child.

“Why didn’t he hit on me?” Skyler suddenly burst out, surprising everyone yet again.

“Why would you want him to hit on you?” Storm asked.

“Because I’m shit hot and he didn’t even notice me. Everyone notices me. Hell, is he crazy? Maybe I’ll ask him out,” he said.

Storm turned to look at his brother. “Sky, bro, is there something you want to tell me?”

Skyler opened his mouth to respond, but then the waiter showed up with a tray full of food, all of it being Skyler’s. “Yes! My food first! I’m starving!” Skyler said excitedly, digging into his mozzarella sticks. Storm snatched an onion ring before Skyler’s slap caught his hand.

“I’ll be right back with your order,” the waiter said once again turning his deep brown eyes on Crew.

“See?!?” Storm and Skyler yelled at the same time. This only caused Crew to blush even deeper, the red shade traveling up his neck to his cheeks and even to his ears.

The waiter returned with the rest of our food. When he got to Crew, he asked for his number. Crew looked flustered and didn’t know what to say. So I leaned over and put my arm around Crew’s shoulder. “He’s taken,” I told the waiter pointedly. The waiter looked surprised and looked between the two of us.

Before he had a chance to react, Skyler thrust his hand out for the waiter to shake. “I’m Skyler and I’m available.”

*********************

Later that night, I was hanging around Storm’s place. Skyler had gone to class and Crew tagged along, after some insane begging and whining on Skyler’s part.

Storm threw me a bottle of water from the kitchen and a few seconds later he joined me on the couch. “So, you like Crew?” he asked. The drink of water I had been taking sloshed down my throat and a little up my nose. I sputtered and started to cough.

Storm smiled at me and handed me a napkin. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“What do you mean?” I asked carefully once I had gained my composure.

“Don’t play like that. You were pretty obvious tonight at dinner. Staring at him and then getting all pissy when the waiter was hitting on Crew. I saw it right away,” Storm said, matter of fact.

“Was I that obvious? Do you think Skyler and Crew noticed?” I asked in a rush.

Storm held up his hands. “Calm down. Skyler - I am positive - didn’t notice anything. He never pays enough attention to anything unless it’s presented directly to him - like that waiter. Otherwise, he kind of floats and gazes around like a mentally ill person. And Crew, I doubt noticed anything. He’s kind of…” he trailed off looking for the right word.

“Innocent?” I offered.

Storm smiled. “More like naive, but innocent works, too.”

I sighed. “Ok, I admit it, I do like Crew. Who wouldn’t? He’s amazing.”

“Yeah, he’s a pretty cool friend,” Storm agreed.

My shoulders dropped. “Unfortunately, all we’ll ever be are just friends,” I said in a dejected tone. I was met with silence and I looked up to see Storm drinking his water.

“What? You think there’s a chance he may be gay?” I asked curiously.

Storm shrugged. “To tell you the truth, I don’t really know. I haven’t known him for that long, only about two years. And in those two years, he’s gone through a lot of stuff trying to get his life in order. So there really wasn’t much time for him to date. Plus, you know Crew, he’s a workaholic.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Get his life in order? What do you mean?”

“It’s personal, and it’s not my place to say,” Storm said. “But he went through a really rough time and wasn’t into the social, dating scene.”

“Did he ever mention a girlfriend or something, from back in high school?”

Storm pondered about that for awhile. “No, he never spoke of any girlfriend. Come to think of it, whenever we were hanging out as a group, talking about girls or trying to hook up with them, he never really joined in. I guess I brushed it off figuring he was a little shy and reserved.”

“I wish he were gay. I would definitely treat him right,” I said firmly.

Storm eyed me carefully. “You really like him, don’t you?”

“Yes.” I groaned and flopped down on the couch and let out a cry of exasperation. “What have I gotten myself into?”

********************

After taking a long nap, I headed off to work, at the G Lounge in New York. G Lounge was a gay bar that opened up in 1997 and I really loved working there. They always had cool events and holiday events. Even better, the bar was located in New York’s gay Chelsea area - so no chance of my head getting bashed in any time soon.

My shift started at 8 and I would stay until 4. It was around midnight, and the DJ was spinning some house. My body was moving to it while I ran around fixing drinks.

The Lounge was exceedingly crowded tonight. I could feel the sweat building around my shirt collar, and my hair beginning to flop from the moisture, heat, and smoke. Luckily, I had gel in the backroom so I could style my hair back into the faux hawk.

“I’m going on break!” I yelled out to Julie, the bartender closest to me, when the crowd had died down a bit. She raised her hand in acknowledgement. I went to the backroom and towards my locker. I got my gel and headed over to the bathrooms. I splashed some water over my slimy face and instantly felt refreshed. I squirted a generous amount of gel onto my fingers and ran them through my hair a couple of times. When I was satisfied, I ran back out to the bar.

As soon as I got there, a guy around my age walked up and handed me a water bottle. I took it and looked at him confused. He smiled at me. “You looked kind of tired and in need of a drink, so I got you one,” he said.

“Oh, thanks…”

“Mark,” he introduced.

“Helaku”

“Helaku? What an interesting name? Any special meaning?”

“Full of sun,” I answered automatically. I knew this guy was hitting on me, but I didn’t feel up to flirting like I normally did. Maybe it had something to do with Crew. “Listen man, thanks a lot for the drink, but I have to get back to work.” I started to turn around when I felt his hand on my wrist.

“When do you get off work?” he asked.

“Closing, at 4, but then I have to divide the tips and clean up.”

“Would you like to get together then, for a really early breakfast?” Mark asked.

I eyed him. Now that he was closer, I realized this guy wasn’t my age at all. If anything, late twenties to early thirties and he was good looking. He had brown hair and eyes and a warm, open smile and a beefy body, but he wasn’t really my type. Hell no one in this bar was my type anymore, unless a 5’11, blond haired, blue eyes, red lipped, dimple cheeked snowboarder walked in.

I looked at Mark in the eye. “I’m sorry, I can’t. My boyfriend expects me home,” I lied.

Mark smiled. “Hey, that’s cool, I understand. Had to try though. You’re one gorgeous man.”

I smiled. “Thank you. I appreciate the compliment.”

“Have a good night,” I called out as he drifted back into the crowd and music.

I shook my head. “Jeez, turning down men for a non-existent relationship with a straight guy. I really am fucking out of my mind.”

*********************

“So you turned down a potential hook up or a night of gay sex for Crew?” Storm asked in astonishment. I was helping him set up the twins’ apartment for their New Year’s Eve party later tonight. I found myself telling him about the Mark, who had hit on me at the bar only five days ago.

I sighed, “Yeah, I did. Mark was cute and everything; but I just couldn’t bring myself to say yes or even get excited about going out with him.” Storm stared at me in shock.

“I guess you think I’m pretty dumb, huh? Holding off my life in pursuit of a guy who is most likely not gay and doesn’t have a clue how I feel about him?”

Storm looked like he was thinking about what he wanted to say; but all he came up with was a simple, “Yes.”

I sighed heavily. “Well, I can’t help how I feel. What am I supposed to do?”

“Tell him how you feel. Be honest and that way you can set yourself straight. You will no longer have to kill yourself wondering if he might like you back. Then you can get on with your life,” Storm reasoned.

I frowned. “What if he ends up hating me and never wants to see me again? I don’t know if I can bear that. I’d rather live in silent agony, than risk never seeing him again.”

Storm shook his head. “Man, you have it bad.”

“Don’t I know it.”

 

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