Jumping Over My Mountain - 2. Chapter 2

Jumping Over My Mountain
by Tiffani Chin

Chapter 2

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*******************CREW****************

Storm and Skyler’s party was well under way. It was around 11:00 at night and people had been coming from 8:00 onwards. I had to admit the twins definitely knew how to throw a party. Alcohol was flowing freely. Music was playing loudly. People were laughing and having a good time. However, I just wasn’t into the whole scene. I was just there for the twins or more accurately, Skyler, who did not give up until I had agreed to come. And I suppose a small tiny part of me wanted to see Hela.

I watched Storm talking with Kate, the blond from snowboarding and they were both laughing. Then I glanced over near the kitchen where Skyler was with a group of guys and Sarah. I assumed they were all a part of the snowboarding club. Then I saw Skyler wrap his arm around Sarah and give her a hug. I was a little surprised. Apparently, he was still interested in the same girl. That would make it a record breaking two and a half weeks, which for Skyler was pretty damn amazing. This was proof that miracles did happen.

I could use a miracle. A miracle involving Hela, that is.

“Hey you.” I heard a soft voice next to my ear. I turned around and spotted Hela smiling, his green eyes brighter than ever with the forest green pullover he sported.

“You look a little bored,” he commented.

“I am. Big parties aren’t really my thing,” I admitted.

“I hear you. I’m waiting for the ball to drop and then I’m out,” Hela said. He was about to glance at his watch when Skyler ran up to him and grabbed his wrist and started to pull him near a large group of guys sitting around the coffee table. Hela in turn grabbed my wrist and dragged me along with him.

“We’re doing shots. Come on,” Skyler explained. Hela took a seat on the couch and I watched as Skyler put a shot glass in front of me, Hela, and two other guys I didn’t know. He began to pour vodka into them.

I opened my mouth to say that I didn’t want to drink, but I noticed Hela looking at me. He seemed to read my mind. “It’s ok to have a little alcohol on the holidays,” he said, not in a mocking tone, but a quiet, understanding one.

I shrugged and reached for the shot of vodka at the same time as everyone else did and downed it in one big gulp. The liquid burned down my throat and I scrunched up my face as I swallowed. Then I coughed a little and opened my eyes to see Skyler cheering and Hela smiling.

“Woohoo! He drinks!” Skyler cried out. He began to refill the shot glasses.

He ended up refilling it four times.

*******************

“I don’t feel so good,” I slurred, leaning heavily on Hela on the couch.

He looked at me with concern. “Are you ok?”

“I think I drank too much,” I murmured blinking rapidly.

“Did you eat anything before the party?” Hela asked.

It took me awhile to gather my thoughts. Then I shook my head. “Nah,” I struggled to get out. “I had a quick dinner yesterday…no wait, that’s not it. Before, I ate before, earlier.”

I scrunched my face again.

“What’s wrong?” Hela asked worriedly.

“The loud music is giving me a headache,” I complained holding my hands over my ears and resting my head onto Hela’s shoulder. “It hurts,” I murmured.

“Well, it’s 11:45 right now. Can you stick it out for another fifteen minutes?” Hela asked.

I shook my head. “I’m so tired. I think I’m gonna sleep.” I stood up or should I say I attempted to stand up and head into one of the twin’s rooms, but I felt myself losing my balance. The floor was coming up to meet me, until I felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around my waist. I felt my upper body being lifted and I was being supported by something solid.

“Come on. I’ll take you upstairs to my place. It’s quieter and we can still watch the ball drop up there, ok?” he asked, his breath washing over my ear, causing me to shudder.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” he asked. I didn’t answer; I only slumped further against him.

“Alright, then we’re out. No one will miss us anyways. They’re all too far gone,” he said. He tightened his grip around my waist and half led and half dragged me to the door. I stumbled up the two flights of stairs but eventually, and with lots of help, I made it to his apartment. The noise had dwindled noticeably and my head no longer was thudding.

“Here we are, Crew,” Hela said.

I turned around in his arms and snuggled into his strong chest. “Sleep time,” I mumbled. I burrowed my face into him and yawned. I heard him chuckling and then I felt him stroking the back of my neck gently. I felt so tired and relaxed. I felt like I was in a dream and I didn’t want it to end any time soon, especially if Hela was there, touching me. I closed my eyes and after a few seconds my breathing had evened out.

“Ok, baby, I’m going to put you to bed,” Hela whispered. I felt myself being picked up and then a moment later I was gently placed on a soft bed. Then there was no movement and complete silence. I thought Hela had left and I was slowly drifting off to sleep when I felt hands fumbling with my belt.

I pried my eyes open. “What are you doing?” I mumbled.

“Shh, it’s ok Crew. I’m just trying to get you more comfortable to go to bed, ok? Just relax and close your eyes,” he whispered back to me.

“Mmhmm,” I replied closing my eyes and turning my head to the side as he pulled off my belt and unbuttoned my jeans. “Your bed smells nice.”

Hela laughed quietly. “What does it smell like?” His fingers unzipped my jeans and then I felt him tugging them off. “Lift your hips for me.”

I lifted my hips and then the jeans were off. “The bed smells like you. You smell good,” I whispered dreamily. I felt his warm hands on the hem of my shirt next and then that was peeled off of me. There was more silence, except that I could hear him breathing, only heavier and in shorter intervals.

“Are you ok, Hela?”

“You’re so beautiful,” Hela whispered. I opened my eyes and blinked a few times. Did I just hear him call me beautiful? I watched with dazed eyes as Hela’s hand reached out and gently rubbed my flat stomach. I giggled and Hela looked at me.

“That tickles.”

Hela smiled and continued to run his hand over my skin in smooth, circular motions. I wiggled around like a small child. I felt the blood rush to my cock and his warm hand created tingles through my entire body. His hand rubbed lower until one of his fingers dipped beneath the waistband of my boxers. I gasped and arched my back as he ran his finger slowly along the sensitive patch of skin beneath my belly button.

“Crew, how come you’re so beautiful?” Hela murmured as he lowered his head and placed a soft kiss on my abdomen. He continued to place kisses, further and further up. He reached my nipples and licked them both playfully. I hissed and wiggled around some more. He kissed my chest, then the hollow area between my collarbones.

“Hela…” I could barely speak with all the sensations coursing through me. This was all so new to me. I had never been intimate with anyone in my entire twenty years.

He kissed the side of my neck and behind my ear. Hela was now straddling my waist.

”Hela…I…” I tried once again to speak, but failed miserably.

He kissed my cheek next and I was practically panting at this point, my mouth wide open. Hela took the opportunity and placed his mouth over mine and kissed me. It was soft and slow at first, a little pressure over my lips. Then a moment later, he deepened the kiss. He sucked hungrily on my lips and nibbled on them gently.

I groaned and felt Hela’s tongue in my mouth, searching for mine. Once I felt his tongue, my eyes snapped open in shock and I realized I was kissing another guy! Even though I was one hundred percent sure I was gay, I had no idea Hela was too and this was all so overwhelming. I tried to push Hela away but with my slightly drunken state combined with his sober strength, he wouldn’t budge. If anything he pushed his weight further onto me, trapping me beneath him. I tried to move my face away, and placed both hands on his chest.

I felt his hands wrap around my wrists and they were pulled off his chest and he pinned them over my head. He had stopped kissing me at this point and looked down at me, his large green eyes inches from my own blue ones. There was so much passion, desire, and lust in his eyes and then his gaze drifted to my lips. He licked his own lips.

“It’s ok,” was all he said.

I must have been staring up at him or maybe my eyes widened because he released one of my wrists and stroked my cheek.

“I would never hurt you, Crew. You have to trust me,” he said huskily.

I blinked again. I had no idea what to say. I couldn’t even collect any of my thoughts together to form a sentence. What was happening to me? I was smarter than this. Dammit!

Hela leaned down again and attacked my mouth with renewed passion, slipping his tongue in again. This time, I kissed him back. Our tongues were dueling and twisting around one another. We must have been kissing for a long time, because when we parted I was gasping for breath and Hela was panting. My lips felt a little bruised and raw from Hela sucking and biting them. He was an aggressive kisser, but I liked it.

Hela started to kiss my neck, collarbone, and chest again, only he was heading south. When he reached my stomach I giggled again and squirmed. He started to tug at my boxers and although I was aching with desire, a little nagging thought in my head was asking if we were going too fast. I tried to sit up but it was such an effort and Hela easily nudged me back onto my back. Within seconds my boxers were off and my hard on was sticking straight up in the air and leaking pre cum like crazy.

I glanced at him and saw that he had taken off his boxers as well and his arousal was pointed directly at me. He looked about eight inches where I was seven and a half. Yeah, yeah, so I measured. So what?

He gripped my hips and pulled me down towards the bottom of the bed until my knees were bent and my legs were hanging over the edge, feet touching the carpet. Then he spread my legs and kneeled between them.

“Hela…I don’t know about thi…” I tried to protest but my words stopped right there as I literally choked on them.

Hela swallowed my entire cock right to the base and the warmth and wetness of it caused me to cry out.

I faintly heard the music downstairs playing back at the party. Skyler must have raised the volume.

His tongue ran up and down the underside, over my shaft and once he got to the head he swirled his tongue rapidly, applying more pressure.

My eyes rolled back in my head and my fingers clutched the bedspread, my mouth open, even as no sound came out.

“Helaku,” I groaned as waves of pleasure washed over me.

The chanting for the ball drop had begun. “Ten…nine…”

“Helaku!” I gasped as I felt myself getting close.

“Eight…seven…six…”

He worked his tongue over the head quickly and continued to slide up and down my shaft slowly, agonizingly slow, teasing me endlessly.

My head thrashed from side to side. He massaged my balls, I whimpered.

“Five….four….three…”

I felt that familiar tingling in my balls and knew I was about to cum.

“Helaku, I’m about to cum,” I warned frantically.

Hela sucked harder and swirled his tongue hard through my piss slit and I lost it. My back arched, my eyes shut tightly.

“Two…”

“Ohhhhhhhh God….Ahhhhhhh, Helaku, I’m cumming!” I yelled out as I shot into his mouth. I felt myself shuddering and my muscles contracting as I came.

“One…!”

“Happy New Year!” Cheers.

Hela kept his mouth on me until I finished cumming and then he licked me clean and stopped right before I got too sensitive.

My eyes had trouble focusing after that and I felt sweaty and out of breath.

There was some rustling behind me and then I was lifted and placed into the center of the bed and wrapped under the covers. A warm body was then pressed up against me and soft, wet kisses were being applied to the back of my neck.

“Happy New Year, Crew. Go to sleep baby.”

Sleep overcame me and my eyelids fluttered shut. I snuggled into the warmth of his body and fell asleep after I felt Hela’s arms wrap protectively around me.

*****************HELAKU**************

I woke up, but I wasn’t ready to open my eyes yet. I hugged my pillow and buried my face in it deeper, feeling the comfort overtaking me. Then I remembered last night and realized I was alone on this bed.

I shot up. “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit…” I spit out and I sat up and looked around my room. Crew had woken up and split. He had panicked and run out. He hates me now. He doesn’t ever want to see me again.

I shook my head furiously. “Wait, was it all a dream?” I asked myself. I looked under the covers and I was naked, but that didn’t help me figure anything out. I always slept naked.

I leaned over and sniffed the pillow. Yup it smelled like Crew. It definitely happened. There was no way I was hallucinating his scent on my comforter. That would make me downright crazy. Just throw me in the loony bin and chuck away the key, why don’t cha.

But then I was hit with the sudden realization that Crew had indeed woken up, freaked out, and then run off. There was a really big chance that he did hate me now and never wanted to see my face.

I gulped and my stomach felt queasy. I couldn’t imagine never seeing him again. I covered my face with my hands. “What have I done?” I whispered sadly, my eyes becoming moist.

I didn’t know what to do. I needed help. I needed to talk to someone.

Storm.

I glanced at the clock. It read 10:15 AM. It was a little early in the morning after a New Year’s Eve bash to be having a serious talk, but this was a catastrophe in my mind. But too damn bad, I needed to talk to Storm and now!

I threw the covers off and slipped on some jeans and picked up my green sweater I wore last night from off the floor. I hadn’t showered the night before so my hair was still sticking up in the faux hawk. The rest of my hair was too short to create any type of bed head. I grabbed my Nikes and shoved my feet into them and ran out the door.

I flew down the stairs with superhuman speed and started banging on the door.

“Storm! Storm, open the door. I need to talk to you! Storm!” Banging, banging, pounding. I’m sure if Storm didn’t open the door soon, the neighbors would be calling the cops on him or me. And no one would be pleased as I was positive that at least half the country was hung over from the festivities from New Year’s Eve.

“Storm!” I hollered again, accompanied by more pounding on his door.

“Man, what is it?” Storm asked, mildly annoyed. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and his body was still wet, with a few soap suds traveling down. Normally I would have been admiring him right about now, but I had more pressing issues to deal with.

I was panting heavily. I couldn’t seem to catch my breath. Wow, I didn’t realize I had exerted so much energy trying to get Storm to open his door. Or perhaps it was the two flights of stairs that I managed to descend in under one second.

“I fucked up man, I fucked up real bad,” I said looking at Storm. As soon as I said those words, Storm’s frown deepened as he held the door open for me to come through.

********************

“Ok, tell me everything, from the beginning,” Storm said, handing me a cup of coffee. He had rinsed the last residues of soap off, dried off, and was now dressed comfortably in sweats.

“Where’s Skyler?” I asked cautiously.

Storm pointed to the couch in the living room. I looked over and saw Skyler sprawled out face down, his hair covering his entire face. Soft snores were coming from him. I guess I didn’t notice him before because I was so engrossed in my own worried thoughts.

I took a deep breath. “I messed around with Crew,” I said slowly and squeezed my eyes shut as if waiting for a barrage of verbal attacks from Storm. Instead, I heard…nothing.

I opened my eyes to find Storm gawking at me, his mouth forming a small “O”. I guess I rendered him speechless. His mouth moved as if trying to form works, but all that came out were little squeaks.

Finally, Storm managed to get something out. “So…I guess this means he likes guys then, right? Isn’t that a good thing?”

I sighed. “Um…I may have taken…” I paused, “taken advantage of him,” I finished in a rush.

“What?” Storm shrieked, standing up. I flinched and glanced over at Skyler. Still snoring and out cold.

“What did you fucking do to him?” he shouted, his fists balling, his dark eyes flashing dangerously. Oh shit. Storm indeed. Now I know why his mother named him Storm. That calm façade was all an act.

I actually felt a little scared and backed up as well. I have never seen Storm get angry before. I mean he was serious and got annoyed, but never angry, like this rage I was experiencing first hand. And even though I was taller and heavier, I’m sure Storm could do some serious damage if he really wanted to.

I held up my hands in surrender. “Wait. Hear me out,” I pleaded. I took another deep breath. “We did some shots with Skyler. We each had five vodka shots.”

“Crew had five shots? He never drinks, go him,” Storm said smiling slightly, but then he turned serious again. “Wait, he never drinks. He was drunk then? He was sick,” he said, the truth dawning on him.

“Apparently he couldn’t hold his liquor as well as Skyler or me…” I said trailing off as I saw Storm shoot me a “well, duh!” look.

“And yeah, that’s the thing. He got sick, had trouble walking and standing and said the music was giving him a headache. I offered to bring him to my apartment,” I checked for Storm’s reaction.

His eyebrows were raised but he didn’t say anything and waited for me to continue.

“When we got to my apartment, he was really tired. He said he wanted to sleep, so I took him to my room and laid him down in my bed,” my voice cracked as I tried to get my next words out.

“He was just so beautiful, lying there with his eyes closed. I wanted to make him more comfortable, so I took off his clothes. He was so gorgeous, I couldn’t resist touching him. And once I did, I really couldn’t stop.”

“Then what happened?” Storm demanded, seeming to get angry again.

“It’s not what you think. I didn’t have sex with him. I didn’t rape him.” I had to choke the word rape out.

“Then what happened?” Storm asked again in a calmer tone.

“I kissed him, a lot. And he kissed me back! And then I…I, I, gave him a blowjob.”

Storm was quiet. “How did he react to that?”

“I’m not sure. He was tired, he just had an orgasm. He fell asleep, but he didn’t seem to have a problem with me spooning him.”

Storm was silent again. After two minutes straight I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Will you say something for fuck’s sake?” I asked irritated about his lack of help.

“I don’t know what to say. I’m not sure if he enjoyed it, if he’s attracted to you or not, or if he was plain drunk and just thought he was getting a good blow. It’s a tough call.”

“Thanks a lot, you’re a great help,” I snapped sarcastically. “So what should I do?”

“The best thing is to talk to him. If he’s pissed, apologize and see if you can salvage your friendship. If not, well what can you do, but get on with your life?”

“Without Crew?” I asked forlornly.

“If he can’t get past what happened, then yeah,” Storm said reasonably.

Tears sprang up in my eyes. “I don’t think I can live with that. And I’m afraid to talk to him. What if he really does hate me? I mean, fuck! I practically did rape him. I’m no better than those guys who slip drugs into a girl’s drink.”

Storm patted my shoulder reassuringly. “You are better than those guys. You didn’t drug him. He was drunk, thanks to my brother. You had the intention of helping him. I guess if you really analyze it, you did something good for him and didn’t technically hurt him.”

“I still took advantage of him. If he were sober…”

“But he wasn’t,” Storm interrupted. “Don’t do the “what ifs”, ok? It will only drive you crazy. Just move forward and talk with him. And beg like a mother fucker for forgiveness.”

I cracked a smile at that one. “Yeah, I guess the only thing is to move forward and talk it out.” I stood up. “Thanks man, you’re the best.”

“No problem. You’re going to see him now?” Storm asked.

I nodded. “I have to face the music. The sooner the better, right?” I asked weakly.

“It will be alright. Things have a way of working themselves out, usually for the better. Sometimes you just have to look a little harder for the good in it, but it’s always there,” Storm offered.

I smiled and walked to my death.

************************

I rubbed my hands together. Damn it was cold. I should have worn gloves. I followed the directions Storm gave me to Crew’s house and I waited near the door. I rang the doorbell and knocked on the door, but there was no answer. But he had to be home, his car was parked in the driveway.

Maybe he got picked up from somewhere. I refused to give up. If he was ignoring me, I would have to be persistent. I rang the doorbell nonstop. After ten rings and still no answer I punched the doorframe in frustration.

FUCK!

Pain shot up my fist and into my arm.

“Shit!” I cursed. I spun around, shaking my hand to dissipate some of the pain.

At that moment I spotted Crew jogging back to his house. He eyes were focused ahead and he didn’t seem to notice anything around him. He turned into the driveway and was looking at the ground. He came within two feet of me before finally spotting me. He instantly stopped where he was and froze, staring at me, white smoke coming out of his mouth, his cheeks redder than usual from the running. His nose and ears were bright red from the cold. He looked even more beautiful, if that was possible.

He looked tense. His hands were by his side, but he was breathing hard, either from the run or from the anger or fear from seeing me. I hoped it was the former.

“Hey,” I said tentatively. He continued to stare at me, not saying a word. “I came to talk to you about…last night.” Crew still remained silent, expressionless. I was beginning to wonder if he was in shock and if I should get some medical attention.

I reached out to grab his arm and he took a step back. I felt a tug in my chest. He backed away from me, Oh God, he does hate me. “Listen, can we talk in private?” I forced myself to ask even though what I really wanted to do was head home and lick my wounds.

After a minute, he came back to life and nodded. He walked carefully around me. I winced when he did that. He opened the door, walked through, and left me to follow.

I stepped inside and was met with warmth. His place was clean and neat, very cozy. It was one floor, one of those ranch homes. To the left was the kitchen; to the right was a door that I assumed was to the bedroom. Directly in front, was the living room with: a bed couch; a recliner that was positioned in front of a wooden coffee table; a tall halogen lamp; a computer station that doubled as a desk; and a large 64”flat screen.

I followed him into the kitchen. “Do you want something to drink?” he asked, looking at me. I had to force myself not to stare into his eyes.

“No, I’m fine,” I said nervously. He grabbed a bottle of water for himself and was chugging it rather quickly. I was transfixed by his Adam’s apple. God, I was such a freak! Who is obsessed with Adam apples? Was there even such a thing as an Adam’s apple fetish? I would have to look that up…

Shit, focus! You’re becoming as bad as Skyler now!

Crew finished his water and licked his lips. I, of course, was also transfixed by that.

“I’m sorry,” I blurted out. Crew’s blue eyes darted to me.

“You’re sorry?” he asked quietly, looking down at the floor.

“Yeah, I didn’t mean to do that. I mean, I wanted to, but I never intended to. That is I didn’t have a set plan to get you in bed. It just happened. I know it’s such a cliché thing to say, it just happened, but I swear it’s the truth. I didn’t purposely bring you into my room to do anything but let you sleep, except…god, you were in my bed! You were in my bed and you looked so…I couldn’t control myself. I shouldn’t have done it. I mean I would do it if you were gay and ok with it, but you’re not. So I’m sorry for taking advantage of you when you were drunk,” I blubbered out.

Crew stared at me. “You called me beautiful,” he said quietly.

“I meant it. You are beautiful. You’re the most beautiful person I have ever met, inside and out,” I admitted. “I couldn’t help falling for you,” I said before I could stop myself.

“Listen I know you hate me now…” I started.

“I don’t hate you,” Crew interrupted quickly.

“You don’t?” I asked hopefully.

“No,” Crew said staring down at his hands. “I’m just…”

“Confused?” I finished for him. Crew nodded slowly, still not looking at me. I took a step closer to him. He backed away from me - the wide-eyed 'deer in the headlights' look back in his eyes. I took another slow step closer and once again he backed away from me. A small smile tugged at my lips. A few more steps and he would be cornered against the counter.

“Are you afraid of me?” I asked.

“No,” Crew replied quickly. I took another step, he backed up another step.
I took two more quick steps and Crew tried to dart away, but I was too fast and I placed my hands on either side of him on the counter behind him, trapping him. As I looked down at Crew’s beautiful flushed face I had to thank my Dad for all those fencing lessons he shelled out money for. It really helped me to anticipate people’s movements and I was grateful for that today. Hell yeah!

He had started to breathe harder and was looking up at me through his thick blond lashes, making him appear even sexier and alluring.

“You don’t have to be scared of me Crew. Never be afraid of me, I would never hurt you,” I whispered, my lips an inch from his.

“I’m not scared,” Crew whimpered looking away, trying to push me away. I gripped him tighter against my chest. I kissed his cheek.

“I like you Crew. I like you a lot,” I said rubbing his back. I felt him lean into me and his body relaxed.

“I...I…I, I like you too,” Crew said, his voice muffled against my chest. I smiled and hugged him harder. I leaned my forehead against his and stared into his eyes. I rubbed my nose against his. Crew started to giggle.

“I love when you giggle. It’s music,” I murmured.

Crew became serious again and I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his. I was ecstatic when I felt him kiss me back and he opened his mouth willingly when I ran my tongue along his lip, trying to gain entrance. But as soon as it started, he had pushed me away and distanced himself from me. I looked at him in confusion, “What?”

“I like you, but I’m not ready for anything. I just can’t,” he said.

“Why not?” I asked stepping closer to him.

“Because, I’m not ready for a relationship. I can’t seem to handle anyone else but myself right now. I’m just a mess…my life is all over the place, I just can’t…” Crew trailed off and I could tell he was becoming flustered because his face was getting red.

I took another step towards him but Crew held his arm out, stopping me from invading his personal space any further.

“You’re going through some stuff and you have to get your life in order,” I finished for him.

“How did you know that?” he asked, wide-eyed.

“Storm…”

“Storm told you what happened?” he shouted. I stared at him wide-eyed. Man, the quietest people have the biggest outbursts. This was the second time this morning.

“No, no,” I said quickly, before he got any angrier. “He didn’t tell me anything. He just said you were a workaholic and had some stuff going on and you didn’t have much of a social life or a girlfriend…” I babbled on.

“You talked to Storm about me?” Crew asked.

I looked down at the floor. “Well I didn’t go to him specifically to talk about you. It was after IHOP that day we went snowboarding and I was sitting on his couch drinking some water and he just said, ‘You like Crew’. Just like that. No question, just a plain simple statement.”

“When did you start liking me?” Crew asked curiously.

I blushed. I rarely blushed, but somehow Crew could bring it out of me. “Since the first day I met you at the twin’s place for pizza. It was mostly a physical attraction, but I’ve grown to like you more as I got to know you better. And then the waiter incident made me realize my feelings for you.”

“The waiter incident?” he said frowning.

I blushed even more. “At IHOP when the guys said that the waiter was hitting on you, I was crazy jealous. I wanted to beat the guy just for looking at you. That’s how Storm knew I liked you, the smug bastard. And that’s when I realized that I liked you.” I snuck a peek at him. Crew looked amazed.

“When did you start liking me?” I asked turning the tables.

“I guess I thought you were cute when I met you the first time. But I guess when we spent all day snowboarding, I felt like I bonded with you,” Crew said, looking sheepish.

“When you act like that, I want to throw you over my shoulder and take you home with me,” I said, increasing his blush.

“When I act like what?”

“All child-like. You’re so innocent. You’re perfect,” I said.

Crew looked away. “That’s the only reason why you like me, because I’m innocent and new to all of this? It turns you on, doesn’t it? You’re the experienced, out of the closet gay guy who gets to experiment with me,” Crew whispered.

I shook my head vehemently. “That’s not true, there’s more to you than that. I see something special in you,” I argued.

Crew shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. I can only be a friend. That’s all I can handle right now. I’m sorry. Maybe in time, when we get to know each other better, but I can’t promise anything. But I would like to be your friend,” he said looking at me with his eyes. God, those eyes. I would do anything he asked of me.

I swallowed my disappointment. I would take what I could. The bottom line was that he didn’t hate me and even wanted to spend some time with me. Things could turn out well, all on their own, just like Storm said.

I smiled. “Ok, I would love to be your friend.”

Within weeks, Crew would be mine. I was confident of that.

********************CREW******************

“I’m coming!” I yelled as the doorbell rang. I ran over and opened the door and a smile spread across my face. “Masters!”

“The one and only,” Zeke said, grinning broadly. “Where’s my love, bitch?”

I laughed and hugged him tightly. Zeke Masters, my best friend from high school, soccer teammate, the first person to whom I came out, and most importantly, he was also gay.

“How were your holidays?” I asked him, helping him bring in his bags.

Zeke rolled his eyes. “You know how it is. Christmas Eve dinner with my Dad and Step-mom, who by the way keeps trying to set me up with these flamers she meets at the hair salon. It’s like, jeez, thanks, I can get my own date, lady. And then Christmas dinner with my mom and her homophobic husband who thinks I will combust in flames the minute I step into a church.”

I nodded sympathetically. I knew his family. He had come out in high school. Although his family didn’t approve of his homosexuality, they tried to be supportive in their own way. No difference, though. Zeke always managed to be happy. He reminded me a lot of Skyler, which is probably why I liked hanging out with Skyler when Zeke was away at school.

“But I’m happy to see my best gay friend,” Zeke said rubbing my buzzed head affectionately.

“Yeah, I am so glad to see you too. I’ve been going through so much stuff and need someone to talk to.” I threw his bags onto the sofa bed in the living room and turned to face Zeke.

“That doesn’t sound good. Did something happen? Are you…depressed, again?” Zeke asked slowly, referring to when I had dropped tons of weight and looked like a zombie after the accident.

I shook my head. “No, this is something different. It has to do with a….guy, I met a while ago. I need some advice.”

Zeke whistled. “You have a man. Wow, this is definitely something big. Tell me more.”

I blushed. “It’s not like that. We’re not even dating. We’re just friends. I’m not ready to have something…I mean, we did stuff. He wanted more, but I don’t think I can handle something more… I mean, you know…” Zeke held up his hand to stop me from going any further.

“Wait a minute, here. Let me get something straight,” he demanded, pausing. “You guys did stuff? Like what kind of stuff?” he asked excitedly.

I punched his arm. “Focus, man. I need advice, and I don’t kiss and tell!”

Zeke groaned. “Come on, this is what girlfriends do! We talk about sex and stuff. You’re so not fun anymore. Is this what college life has done to you?”

I smiled. “First of all, we’re not girlfriends. I may be gay, but I’m not a woman! Second of all, sadly, I don’t have a college life. I don’t have much of a life at all. I want to make stuff happen and finally have a relationship, but I’m just so scared.”

Zeke walked over to the couch, grabbed my arm, and pulled me down next to him.

“I know you’re scared. You’ve been through a lot, at a young age, when things should have been fun and carefree. I know how you’ve been the past two years, working non stop. You take the maximum load possible at school and then you work two jobs. I don’t know how you find the time to eat, sleep, or shit, let alone have a social life.”

“It makes me sad to see you this way. Just going through life, doing what needs to be done but never doing any of the extra stuff that really makes life great. A special person. Love. Fun. You really need that, and deserve that. Do you remember high school…sophomore year, soccer tryouts?”

I closed my eyes and laid my head back on the couch. I groaned, “I remember that. We were both forwards. You kept bragging how great you were. Our scrimmage game was tied. I remember how frustrated you were, not being able to score more goals than me and you kept yelling at the goalie.”

“Yeah, and we were on opposite teams. And there was like no time left, and I was about to score, so you decked me!” Zeke cried out, laughing.

I crossed my arms. “Well, you were being a jerk. I mean, you were new to MY school after all. I was forward since freshman year and you were talking shit to me. I had to do something to put you in your place,” I defended myself.

“I had a massive nose bleed…”

“That didn’t stop you from getting up and giving me a shiner and a fat bloody lip by the way,” I shot back.

“We both looked like shit by the time we were called into the Principal’s office. Yet, we didn’t get punished. Instead, we were both given the position, and some lame lecture on how fighting is not good or something. I don’t really remember. I started tuning out as soon as I heard I made forward.”

“She just let us off because she thought I was cute,” I said smugly, flashing him a snotty look.

Zeke’s jaw muscles clenched. “No way, she thought I was cute. I am way hotter than you!”

I smirked. “Yeah, too bad you’re the only one that thinks that!”

“Whatever, stop changing the subject. So tell me about this guy, what’s his name and how did you meet him?”

“His name is Helaku McAdams. He’s half Native American and half Irish…”

Zeke whistled. “Sounds like a hot mix.”

“He is,” I agreed. He’s like 6’3, really buff, probably around 200 pounds, dark skin, black hair, green eyes, a long slightly pointed nose, a small gap between his teeth… he smells great, and wears his hair in a faux hawk, although his style is kind of preppy…” I said in a dreamy voice. I snapped out of it at the sound of Zeke snorting and choking with laughter.

“Man, you have it bad. That’s a very accurate description; gave me a nice visual image,” Zeke added. “What about the other stuff? Like how you met and what’s he like, personality wise?” he prompted.

“Oh. Well he graduated last year, majored in Law and Politics, he bartends in the city full time. I met him when I was having dinner at a friend’s house. Then, I was his snowboarding instructor after the holidays. He was into gymnastics and fencing when he was younger…uh, he kissed me New Year’s Eve, and he really likes me.” I blushed when I was done.

“You lucky bastard,” Zeke said. “I’m jealous.”

“A bartender? Cool. Where in the city and what’s it called? We should hit it up some time,” Zeke suggested.

“I actually don’t know where he works. We’ve established we like each other, but we haven’t had many chances to get together,” I admitted.

“Snowboarding and the restaurant?” Zeke asked referring to the two jobs I’ve had consistently over the past two years.

“Hey, I need the money. Plus, this is the only way I can snowboard for free,” I pointed out.

“True, true, but you need to find time to hang out with your man,” Zeke teased, stretching out m-aaa-n.

“Stop it! He’s not my man,” I protested, although I liked Zeke calling Hela ‘my man’.

Helaku McAdams. Crew’s man. Yup, definitely had a nice ring to it.

“How long have you actually known him?” Zeke asked.

“Well, I met him right before finals started, so a little over a month,” I said.

“Well, I know you think you like him and everything. But in all honesty, it’s not like you know him all that well yet. I don’t think you should rush into anything,” Zeke said.

“Yeah, that is why I wanted to just be friends and get to know each other better. I want us to have a good foundation as friends first. I don’t want to start dating and then break up because we don’t mesh well, ya know?”

Zeke bit his lip. “Sounds like a pretty good plan, dude. Plus, it’s totally your style. You never rush into anything. At least I know you haven’t changed too much since I’ve last seen you. It’s oddly comforting.”

“Shut up. You came all this way just to make fun of me?” I pouted.

“Oh don’t be that way,” Zeke cajoled. “You know I love you.”

I hugged him again. “I know. You’ve been there for me. I wish you didn’t go to school in Boston. I would love it if you lived with me. This house is so empty…” I trailed off sadly.

Zeke rubbed my head again. “I know buddy. But I’ll continue to visit you every winter break and over the summer. I promise.”

“Thanks man.” I fell into Zeke’s arms and closed my eyes. I slowly drifted off to sleep as I felt Zeke rest his head on top of mine.

********************

I woke up and groggily rubbed my face. My lower back ached and I tried to shift my weight, but something was holding me down. I lifted my head a little and realized that Zeke was lying on my chest. In fact his entire body was directly on top of mine. We both had fallen asleep on the sofa.

“Zeke, wake up,” I whispered nudging him a little. Zeke squirmed and lifted his leg, placing it around my waist and continued to sleep.

I softly rubbed Zeke’s closely shaved head. I stared at the light blond color and smiled. I remembered in high school that we were so close that sometimes, from afar, people would mistake us for each other. Our features were similar and we could pass for brothers.

“You are my brother. I love you for being there for me when everyone else ditched me.” I whispered to myself.

I continued to stroke his head until I felt him stirring. “Crew?” he mumbled tiredly. I just smiled down at him and petted his soft hair.

“You ok?” Zeke asked while closing his eyes again.

“Yeah, just doing some thinking,” I replied absently. I felt Zeke tense on top of me.

“You shouldn’t think so much. It’s dangerous for you. Your brain might combust or something,” Zeke said in an effort to break my bleak, contemplative mood.

It worked.

I shoved him off of me. He crashed to the wooden floor with a loud thud. “Hey, that hurt!” he yelled.

I ignored him and reached for the soccer ball sitting beside my lamp. I tossed it at him and he deftly caught it, even in his stupor and position on the floor.

“Come on, let’s play some soccer.”

*******************

“I can’t believe you kicked the soccer ball at my head!” I exclaimed examining the red mark on my forehead in the bathroom mirror.

“I didn’t kick it at you! You were supposed to do the head butt thing,” Zeke said evenly.

“Please, if you wanted me to hit it with my head, the ball would have been higher in the air. This kick brought the ball right to my face!”

Zeke smiled. “Ok, I did aim for your pretty face, but come on! I could barely keep up with you. You were even faster than you were in high school,” he said amazed.

“No, it’s because I still run and I’m not weighed down with booze and pot,” I pointed out.

“Whatever. Your life is not complete until you get plastered. And until you end up eating two apple pies because you’re so damned hungry from pot,” Zeke said, wiggling his eyebrows and pursing his lips.

“I had alcohol and it burns. The pot, well, perhaps one day,” I said.

“How ‘bout tonight?” Zeke asked, whipping out a small bag with weed in it.

My eyes widened. “You drove over here with weed in your car?”

Zeke shrugged. “Why not? No big deal. It’s not like I got caught. So, tonight then?”

I just stared at him in disbelief. This guy was so insanely smart in school but chose to do the dumbest things. Maybe he just wanted attention.

He took my silence as a no. “Fine, more for me then,” he said as he headed for my shower. “But if I somehow don’t finish all of it…and I have a lot… I have to drive all the way back to Boston with it. If I get pulled over, it’s jail time. I don’t think you want that on your hands, my friend.”

“Fine, I’ll smoke with you tonight.” I always caved in.

Zeke winked, “I knew you’d see it my way, bud.”

He paused before closing the bathroom door. “Want to shower with me?” he asked mischievously dropping his shorts.

Yeah, Zeke hadn’t changed one bit since we were fifteen.

I dropped my shorts and joined him in the bathroom.

Apparently, neither had I.

*****************HELAKU**************

“Crew, 98, Crew, 99, Crew, 100,” I counted as I finished my last pushup. I was dripping with sweat, but continued on to do my crunches.

Crew was everywhere, in my thoughts, when I went out; I imagined him everywhere. It was so unlike me to have an infatuation with someone I had just met about a month ago. Usually I didn’t get invested enough to develop some serious crush. In all honesty, men were infatuated and obsessed with me. Being at the opposite end didn’t sit right with me; but, I had no idea how to fix it. Crew made it clear he didn’t want to date; well, not yet, anyway.

I had to figure out a way to change his mind; but I was also clueless on how to do that. My stomach was burning. I couldn’t do another crunch. I lay down on the floor and tried to catch my breath, thinking of Crew, of course!

“ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” I let out a frustrated yell, that I’m sure could be heard in the next town over. “This is what you do to me Crew,” I said, looking down at my swollen crotch.

That’s it, I needed to see Crew and get my fix taken care of.

******************

I rang the doorbell and anxiously waited for Crew to answer the door. I heard some footsteps and a small smile began to form as I anticipated Crew’s face.

The door swung open, and my smile faded. The guy in front of me wasn’t Crew and he was dressed in only his boxers. My heart sank.

“Can I help you?” he asked in a deep voice that sounded like Crew’s. My shoulders relaxed slightly, maybe this was his brother?

“Yeah, I’m looking for Crew?”

The guy smiled and opened the door wider. “Sure, come in. He’s in the shower.”

I followed the guy inside and couldn’t help checking him out. From behind he looked exactly like Crew. They had the same fair skin tone, build, height, frame; even their muscles were the same. From the front, they could pass as definite relatives. His blond hair was shaved close cropped like Crew’s; only it was a brighter, almost white blond shade and his eyes were a little darker blue than Crew’s. He had the same flushed cheeks, and full red lips. Only, his overall expression was less cute and innocent and more mischievous, like he always had something up his sleeve. And he had a diamond stud in each ear, a lip ring, and an eyebrow ring. That really helped set them apart.

My thoughts were interrupted by him talking. “Crew takes long showers, but I know a sure fire way to speed it up a bit. Hold up,” he said walking away from me. I watched him curiously.

I saw him walk towards the sounds of the running water. A second later, the toilet flushed, followed by a loud yelp.

“You got company!” I saw the guy rush back out to me.

Crew came running out soaking wet with his sweats hanging low on his hips. “You asshole!” he cried out and jumped onto the other blond. They rolled around and Crew landed on top, straddling the guy’s chest and pinning his wrists to the ground. Watching the two hot blonds fight half naked was extremely erotic and I felt my body responding.

Think of Grandma, think of grandma.

“Hear me out! You have a guest,” and then he cocked his head in my direction. Crew looked up at me and he jumped up.

“Hela, what are you doing here?” he asked.

“I just had to see you,” I answered, not sure how to respond. The idea of coming over sounded good in my head but now, in reality, it didn’t seem so smart. I mean what if I outted him to this guy?

“Helaku! I knew you looked familiar!” the blond stranger cried out.

“Huh?” I asked confused. “Have I met you before?” I was sure I would have remembered him. After all, he resembled Crew. That was memorable enough for me.

The blond smirked and threw a glance over at Crew. “Only by a very, VERY, detailed description, by a not so secret admirer,” he coughed out between muffled laughs.

“I’m gonna kick your ass,” Crew said between clenched teeth, his face reddening. He shoved his friend playfully. I smiled. So Crew had been talking about me, huh?

The blond stumbled, but recovered quickly and then jumped onto Crew. They both fell on the floor with a thud.

“Oomph!” Crew said as the other guy’s weight fell onto him. The blond then sat up and positioned himself onto Crew’s stomach. “I’m Zeke Masters, by the way,” he said grinning, his face flushed. “I’m Crewie’s best friend from high school.”

“You’re crushing me!” Crew wailed.

Zeke sat up. “I’m gonna get us some dinner. Give me your keys,” he demanded. He never waited for an answer and just took them off the kitchen table. He headed for the door. “I’m getting Thai,” he called out.

“Wait!” Crew yelled out. “You’re not going to put on any clothes?” Crew asked, referring to Zeke in only his black boxers with little green apples as the print.

Zeke smiled. “No, I want to see how much attention I can get. Plus if a cop is around, I can cross off ‘Getting Arrested’ from my 'Things To Do Before I’m Thirty' list. I always wanted to blow up a mug shot of myself and post it in my living room. My mom would love that, wouldn’t she?” he asked sarcastically.

“Zeke,” Crew said in a warning tone.

“Plus, if I get thrown in jail, maybe I can get some hot male on male action.”

I raised my brow. So Zeke was gay? And staying with Crew? Question mark…

“Put something on, idiot. You might catch a cold and get me sick,” Crew said.

Zeke walked back into the kitchen and took a sweatshirt and threw on timberland boots. “I’ll be back soon. Don’t be too naughty,” he said smiling and gave a quick kiss to Crew’s forehead.

Crew tried to protest but all he got in reply was a door slamming shut. Crew turned to face me. There was an awkward silence.

I stared at Crew intently. The water droplets on his body were slowly drying. “So, are you and Zeke…”I trailed off walking closer to him, desperately wanting to touch his soft skin.

Crew’s bright blue eyes widened. “What, me and Zeke? No way. I mean, he’s gay too, but he’s my best friend. He’s practically my brother.”

I chuckled. “That’s good to know. I got jealous there for a moment,” I said coming closer, his body within reach.

He blushed. “You were jealous?”

I grabbed his hands and pressed them to my chest. “Of course I was. Even though we’re not dating or anything, I still consider you mine. If some other guy was trying to get you, I’d have to take him out,” I joked.

He blushed harder. I let go of his hands and wrapped one arm around his lower back and pulled him to me and my other arm snaked around his shoulder blades, my hand rubbing the back of his neck. I felt him try to pull away but I tightened my hold. “Where do you think you’re going?” I whispered looking down at him through my lashes.

“Hela…” he said.

“You’re beautiful. You’re my Angel. You’re mine,” I said and pressed my lips against his. Without pausing, I slipped my tongue inside his mouth and wrapped it around his tongue. Crew gasped, and I pressed my mouth further into him while hugging him harder. I felt his entire body pressed against me. I couldn’t get close enough to him. I wanted our bodies to be melded together as one.

My fingers lightly rubbed his head, his hair feeling good under my fingertips, my thumb massaging his neck. I broke free of his mouth and kissed his neck, behind his ear, inhaling his scent deeply.

“Hela. Oh god, Hela, what are you doing to me?” he whimpered, helpless in my arms.

I cut off his cries with my mouth and kissed him hard, my passion overwhelming me. My hand slowly drifted lower, down his abdomen and into his sweatpants. I wrapped my hand tightly around his throbbing, hot organ, enjoying his warmth and soft skin. Crew hissed and I felt his body jerk.

“I think this is for me,” I said between kisses.

“Hela…I think this is too fast. I’m not ready for…”

I kissed him again. “Shh…I’m not asking for anything in return. I promise. I want to do this for you. Let me do this for you. It will make me happy, just touching you,” I said kissing his throat and back to his beautiful full lips.

I started to slowly stroke up and down his cock, increasing my speed as I heard Crew moaning. I felt Crew’s body buckle against me and his fists clenched my parka. I moved my hand even faster. Crew gasped and struggled for breath. I ran my thumb around his head in between some slow strokes and then alternated with fast ones. Crew buried his head in the crook between my neck and shoulder and whimpered. I was beginning to love his whimpers.

A moment later, his entire body tensed and I knew he was cumming. I felt his juices covering my palm as shudders racked Crew’s body. I kissed his closed eyelids softly and watched them flutter open, gaining focus. I stared into his blue eyes. “Hey baby,” I whispered. He closed his eyes again and laid his head onto my chest, curling into me. I nuzzled his soft furry head with my cheek and closed my eyes, enjoying the pressure of his body on mine, listening to his soft sighs of contentment.

Suddenly he pulled away from me and took my hand, dragging me to his bedroom. He shoved me onto the bed with surprising strength; but then again, I wasn’t in the state of mind to fight him; not that I would anyway. I don’t think I could ever deny Crew anything he asked of me. His angelic features somehow always managed to manipulate me.

He kissed me with such force that I couldn’t even respond at first, until I regained my senses. Then I felt his hand slip under my jeans and boxers. I broke the kiss.

“Crew, you don’t have to. I don’t want to force you…” He silenced me with a hard kiss just like I had done to him. And he wrapped his hand around me and instead of stroking, twisted left and right tightly. The sensations I was feeling was stronger than when I normally jerked off and I couldn’t help groaning loudly. “Oh, fuck!” I was so turned on, it didn’t take long for me to cum. He gave one final twist, a long stroke along my shaft, and I shot into his hand. I felt the wetness spreading over my boxers. “Oh my god,” I breathed out, resting my head on the pillow.

Crew kissed me one more time and then rolled off of me. “Where did that come from?” I asked.

Crew looked at me. “I don’t know. I just really had this urge to touch you, too. Actually, that was strange for me. I’m usually more reserved and I’ve never been intimate with anyone before. I guess you bring out the impulsive side in me.”

I propped myself up onto my elbow. “So, I was your first?” I asked.

Crew smiled. “Well, intimate in the sense that I have feelings for you. I’ve jerked off and done stuff with Zeke when we were younger, but we were never romantically involved. That would be weird.”

“What kind of stuff did you do with Zeke?” I asked my interest piqued. The mental image of the two hot blonds wrestling before, came to mind again. I licked my lips.

He shot me a dirty look. “You’re just like Zeke, always thinking about sex.”

I laughed. “I’m sorry, I can’t help it. You guys look so much alike, that I get really turned on with the thought of two of you.”

Crew laughed also. “Pervert.”

“Only for you baby, only for you,” I said leaning over and giving him a light peck on the lips.

“You’d be a pervert for me?” he asked amused. “That’s so not flattering.”

“I’d be anything for you. I’d do anything for you,” I said seriously. Crew looked into my eyes and looked away.

“How can you do that?” he asked quietly.

“How can I do what?” I asked confused.

“How can you like me so much? Aren’t you afraid of liking someone so much and then losing them?” he asked in a soft voice, his expression dazed. I had the feeling he was talking about something completely different.

“What do you mean?” I prodded.

“People always leave you,” Crew stated finally looking at me again, his eyes blank, and his voice hardened. “They leave if they feel like it, or they leave even if they don’t have a choice,” he said, his eyes becoming glassy.

“I would never leave you,” I promised.

Crew looked at me and he looked so sad I just wanted to hold him. “You can’t promise that. There’s no way you could keep a promise like that.”

I opened my mouth to ask him what he meant. I was so confused; but I was interrupted by Zeke’s voice.

“Naughty children! I bring food. I assume you guys are starving!” Zeke teased in a sing song voice.

“Forget what I said. Let’s have dinner,” Crew suggested sitting up and returning to his normal self. His abrupt shift in moods left me so confused.

I gripped his arm. “I want to talk more.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Crew said stubbornly and he shook my arm off. I watched as he changed into a fresh pair of sweats. He rummaged in his dresser and threw a pair of boxers at me.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. I waited patiently. “I’m just not ready to talk about it now. Soon, though, just not now. I just want to remember what we did and feel happy about it. Talking about my…stuff would only ruin the moment and I don’t want that.”

I studied him and then smiled. “Ok, I want you to be happy.”

Crew smiled and leaned into me. I hugged him rubbing soothing circles on his lower back.

“You make me happy,” Crew mumbled into my chest. My chest swelled with happiness at those words.

“You make me happy, too,” I said nuzzling his neck. I kissed his cheek.

Zeke burst into the room, his mouth full of noodles. He had two chopsticks with a large pile of noodles aimed at his mouth. He groaned, his mouth full. “Come on. I don’t want to eat alone!”

Crew and I laughed. I reluctantly released him. I felt cold without him. I wanted to hold him again. I watched as he walked ahead of me. He turned back around and smiled, his full red lips parting, his dimples flashing at me, his blue eyes twinkling.

I gulped.

Fuck me.

I was in love.

I was in deep shit.

 

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