Jumping Over My Mountain - 8. Chapter 8

Jumping Over My Mountain
by Tiffani Chin

Chapter 8

---------------------------------------------

*************ZEKE***********

Normally I would be nervous meeting someone's parents, but somehow meeting
Skyler's mother, father, the rest of his relatives, and family friends wasn’t as intimidating as it should have been for a boyfriend.

For one thing, Skyler's mother was awesome. While Skyler's Dad was polite and friendly enough, his mother was so warm and open, constantly making jokes. She had a similar humor to Skyler, which is probably why I liked her so much.

Overall, I felt very much at home here and more welcome than I would at my mother or father's respective homes. No wonder I chose to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas day with his family instead of my own. The people here were more fun; my own family was uptight and uncomfortable with my being gay.

I watched from the living room as Skyler piled more food onto his plate. This must have been his fourth helping. Good thing his parents had money; otherwise they'd go broke trying to feed him.

I glanced over and saw Hiro and Crew leaning against the counter in the kitchen. Crew was talking to the twins' mom and smiling a lot, while Hiro stood beside him in a shy, quiet manner. Occasionally I would see Hiro talk to Skyler's mom, but it was rare. Hiro was cool but he was a man of few words. He loomed over Crew constantly and I mean that in a positive way. He stuck to Crew like crazy. No one really knew Hiro's sexual status, but the way he looked and watched over Crew, I'm going to say he was 100% gay.

Whatever the deal was with Hiro, it was obvious that Crew was happy. In my mind that was the most important thing. After everything he'd been through for the past few years, he deserved some happiness.

Crew certainly looked happy as he chatted. He was gesturing wildly and must have said something funny because Mrs. Chin suddenly bowled over, bursting with loud laughter. Skyler's mom had a laugh similar to his, loud and full of life but a couple of notches less obnoxious.

"Hey baby, what you thinking about?" Skyler said plopping beside me on the couch, kind of sitting on my thigh--not that I minded.

"Just about Crew," I answered.

"Oh yeah, naughty thoughts? Should I be worried or excited?" Skyler asked mischievously as he stuffed some potatoes into his mouth.

I grinned. "Perhaps both," I said and he nudged me slightly.

"I better be the only one to create naughty thoughts in your mind," Skyler said chewing, although he didn't look too bothered.

I smiled. Ever since I first got here and we had sex for the first time, Skyler and I had been inseparable. I went to work with him. Even though I went snowboarding without him, I would go home with him and spend the night. Then the next day I would start the whole process over again.

I loved it.

With each day I was becoming more attached and more in love. I was not looking forward to leaving him at the end of break, but I forced myself not to think about that stuff right now. This was a party and I didn't want to bring myself into some sort of depressed funk.

"My mom totally loves you," Skyler broke in.

I looked at him and grinned. "Really?"

Skyler looked at me and nodded. "She said she was sick of me dating these floozies and that I should have been gay a long time ago if it meant I would have someone normal like you. And really hot."

I laughed out loud. "Your Mom thinks I'm hot?" I asked in amusement.

Skyler rolled his eyes. "She also mentioned that she wished I was a woman because then she would have had the most adorable grandchildren."

I laughed again. That did sound like something Mrs. Chin would say.

"Come with me," Skyler said suddenly. He grabbed my hand and lifted me off the couch.

"What, more food?" I asked seriously, eyeing his already empty plate.

Shit, that boy could eat.

Skyler looked back at me and appeared to think it over. "Maybe later."

Still holding onto my hand he led me towards the stairs and together we walked up to his room. His room was a mess with clothes, comics, and CDs thrown about everywhere. Skyler simply swept his arm across his bed to clear a space, and pushed me onto it.

I stared up at him in confusion as he went to his closet and started digging around. He emerged seconds later with a wrapped box.

He handed it to me. I just looked at it blankly for a few seconds.

"It's your Christmas gift," Skyler explained. “I wanted to give it to you now. On Christmas Day, we don't usually do gifts, except for me and Storm sometimes, but I wanted you to have this."

"Open it," he encouraged.

Smiling briefly at him, I tore open the wrapping and opened the box. My eyes met a really nice shiny silver ring.

I glanced back at Skyler questioningly.

Skyler looked at me head on. "I know we haven't known each other that long or spent too much time together. I mean, we only met last winter and sort of had a long distance pseudo relationship and we're just hanging out now, but I know what I feel." His large dark brown eyes bored into mine. "I love you."

I was so stunned I couldn't react at first. Skyler just said he loved me. Oh my god!

Skyler regarded me, eyeing my reaction. I think he was starting to get impatient because I detected an eye roll coming.

"Really?" I finally breathed out.

Skyler laughed, still looking at me. "Yeah, really. I love you."

I started smiling like an idiot. "I love you, too!" I said eagerly.

Skyler smirked. "Well, of course."

I nudged him playfully and Skyler grabbed both of my wrists to pull me towards him. He wrapped his arms around my back and leaned in to kiss me.

Our kiss deepened. I fell back against his bed with him falling on top of me, never breaking the kiss. Skyler began to kiss my neck softly and I moaned, turning my head to the side, giving him better access. His hand snaked up my shirt and caressed my chest. It took me a moment to realize we were at his mom's house which was full of people.

"Sky, we can't," I groaned out. "Your family."

"They can wait. They won't even miss us. Besides, they like Storm better," Skyler said between kisses.

"They're going to hear us either way, now or later. We're staying over remember?" Skyler said licking my collarbone.

That's right. Storm, Skyler, Crew, and I were all staying overnight to spend Christmas day at the Chin residence. Hiro would be the only one leaving tonight--because of his grandmother.

"Oh fuck," I hissed, when Skyler's hand reached into my pants and gripped me tightly. He started moving slowly up and down my length.

Skyler never stopped applying kisses to my neck and lips. I was going into sensory overload here.

"Ahem."

Skyler didn't seem to hear or care that someone else was in the room with us; but I did. I didn't like to perform live sex shows unless I was getting paid for it.

I pushed Skyler off of me with great difficulty, since Skyler was reluctant to stop mauling me.

I noticed Hiro and Crew standing in the doorway. Hiro was just smiling and
Crew was full blown grinning and snickering.

"Uh, Hiro just wanted to say bye before he left," Crew said in between giggles.

I reached for a pillow and chucked it at them. "Didn't you ever hear of knocking?" I asked.

"Yeah, or just slipping a good bye note under the door?" Skyler asked grabbing my face with his hands to kiss me again.

I broke away again. "I'll see you Hiro. Have a good Christmas," I said to him.

Hiro nodded and smiled and called out, "Later Skyler." Skyler only lifted his hand in response since his lips were once again on mine.

I heard the door shut quietly. We were once again alone.

Skyler was about to reach into my pants again but a loud knock came threw the door.

"Crew!" he yelled in annoyance.

"Skyler, you and Zeke can do your stuff later on tonight. We have guests. Get out now!" Mrs. Chin demanded.

Skyler sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. "I guess we have to go back."

I kissed his cheek and ruffled his hair. "Come on, let's go."

"Wait," he said and he grabbed my hand. He retrieved the ring and placed it on my ring finger. He kissed my hand gently. I noticed that his hand also had a silver ring on it.

"I love you," he said again.

"I love you, too."

*****************

"Skyler?" I called out as I searched his room. I heard some yelling and weird noises further down the hall and I followed it.

I walked in on Storm and Skyler fighting with the light sabers that Skyler had bought for himself, me, Storm, Crew, and Hiro.

I had never realized that Skyler was such a Star Wars fan. I thought he must be when he started handing out the sabers this morning. It turns out he really wasn't though. He just thought the sabers were, in his own words, "fucking awesome."

I thought he had given me only a ring for Christmas, but he said that there was no way he could not have bought me a saber. It would be denying me the right to fight Jedi-style. In Skyler's opinion, that was just wrong.

Right now I couldn't help smiling at the sight in front of me. The twins had yet to take notice of me; Storm was wearing a pair of low-slung black sweats and Skyler was wearing black CK briefs. I was definitely enjoying the view, especially since the twins were in motion and I was privy to their bare, muscled torsos flexing with each movement.

Skyler had the red Darth Vader saber and Storm was wielding a green one, for Yoda. They were jumping around Storm's large room, hopping onto the bed to avoid being hit. Every time their sabers connected, there was this accompanying sound that came from the movie.

Skyler lost his balance and fell off of Storm's bed and landed on his back. He immediately started laughing so hard that he had trouble standing up. Finally he decided to just do a backwards roll onto his feet.

Storm jumped off the bed and held the saber across Skyler's neck.

Skyler bowed his head in defeat. "Good one bro," he said solemnly, but then he burst out laughing, sounding like he was half cackling, and half choking.

"Oh hey Zeke," Storm said as he faced me.

Skyler spun around and looked at me. "Hey Zeke," he said dropping his saber to his side.

I stared at his toned chest, down his ripped abs, and to his package; the outline was slightly visible through the tight fabric of his briefs.

I think I was beginning to drool and my pants were becoming a little tight.

"Eww, Zeke, are you checking out my brother?" Storm asked in mock disgust.

Skyler grinned. "I think he is," he said moving closer to me and laughing as I blushed. He hugged me and I felt the heat and slight sweat of his body.

"Come on. Let's get your saber and go find Crew," Skyler said, tugging me out of Storm's room. "We should strap on our roller blades and go saber fighting down the street," he called out into Storm's room.

"Ok," Storm said excitedly, poking his head out the room.

I smiled. Storm always gave the impression of being collected, mature, and reserved. However, when he was alone with his brother or close friends, he was just as immature as Skyler.

We found Crew drinking some water in the kitchen and talking to the twins’ Mom. We dragged him upstairs to get his saber.

Since Crew and I didn't have any roller blades with us, Skyler and Storm gave us theirs; they used their skateboards. It was cold outside, so we bundled up with sweatshirt hoodies underneath our winter coats and went outside.

It was early evening and it was getting darker outside. Luckily the street where the twins lived was well lit; we wouldn't be in any danger of getting hit.

We rolled along the streets, laughing and cracking up as Crew and I bladed around quickly, chasing one another. As we fought, our neon colored sabers shone brightly in the night. Skyler and Storm were both skateboarding and doing random tricks and jumps at the same time as trying to fight. It was a hilarious sight.

A couple of times Skyler fell, but in true Skyler fashion, he laughed it off and got back on again. I smiled. I loved that about Skyler--he took things in stride and always found a way to have a good time in almost any situation. I thought it was a rather good skill or quality to have.

Occasionally a car would pass. It would slow down considerably and the passengers’ faces would turn, yielding awed or confused expressions.

We all just shouted "Merry Christmas" and waved our arms rapidly. Most of the people in the cars would smile, shake their heads, and drive off.

I think this was the best Christmas I had ever had.

I spent time with a loving family--even if they weren't my actual family.

My boyfriend told me he loved me.

This was definitely the best Christmas ever.

************HELAKU**************

I felt myself being nudged but I ignored it.

When I felt a poke, I slapped the hand away and turned away grumbling. I felt soft kisses at the nape of my neck and I sighed.

"Bryce," I groaned. "I'm tired."

We had each spent Christmas with our own families. Late last night, after all the holiday festivities were coming to an end, in that Christmas Day was almost over, I had gone over to Bryce's house to spend some quality time together. We had definitely spent some major quality time together.

Bryce had proclaimed that I was the best gift he had ever received. Even though I laughed at the cheesiness of his statement, I was very pleased.

"Time to wake up, baby," Bryce whispered, pressing his body up against me and wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Tired. Just stay here with me," I mumbled.

"Wake up," Bryce said again rubbing his hand across my chest. "Wake up, wake up, wake up," he said planting kisses on my shoulder blades.

"I made you breakfast," Bryce cooed into my ear.

I grunted in response and dug my head deeper into my pillow.

"I have lots and lots of food. Enough food to feed a big strong man like you," Bryce whispered, reaching further down and gripping me tightly.

I moaned. He stroked me slowly as he continued kissing my shoulders and neck. I started wiggling around and thrusting into his hand as he stroked me.

I gave a little cry as I came, spurting into his hand and onto the sheets. I breathed heavily and laid on my back, my eyes wide open.

"Glad you're up baby," he said. Bryce grinned at me and kissed my cheek before heading out of the room.

I forced myself to sit up, grabbed my discarded clothing, and headed into the bathroom to wash up. I took a fast, warm shower, not wanting to let breakfast get cold, and anxious to get out to Bryce.

I hopped out and patted my skin with a towel and threw on my boxers, jeans, and a navy blue and green striped sweater from Abercrombie. I was about to walk out of his bedroom and into the kitchen when I heard a voice that wasn't Bryce's.

"Listen, I don't want to do this," Bryce said.

My brow knitted. What didn't he want to do?

"Bryce you have to do it. I already set it up," a deep stern voice said.

"Dad!" Bryce exclaimed. "How can you decide something without asking me first?"

"I did it because this is in your best interest. You should be happy. You haven't been on a date since, I don't even remember when. This girl is perfect for you!"

I frowned. Girl? Bryce hadn't told his father he was gay? Now that I thought about it, I didn't recall him mentioning anything about coming out to his Dad. I guess I just assumed that at his age, he would have done it by now.

"I don't want to go out with her!" Bryce said, slightly angry.

"Why not? Give me one good reason," his father demanded sounding angry himself.

"Because, because, because I just don't want to," Bryce sputtered.

"That's not a good enough reason!" his father scoffed.

"Dad!"

"Grow up Bryce. It's time to take the next step in your life. You'll be twenty- seven soon. Don’t you think it's time to start dating, settle down, and start a family?"

"I didn't know you planned my entire life. Mind if I check the schedule?" Bryce said sarcastically.

"Bryce Whitman, I have already told the young lady you will be picking her up tonight at 7pm sharp. Do not disappoint me!" Then I heard the door slam and I cringed.

I crept into the kitchen and took a peek at Bryce who had his hands on his hips. He was breathing hard. His face was red and he was frowning. He looked at me and his expression changed. He looked worried, concerned, embarrassed.

"Are you ok?" I asked cautiously.

Bryce sighed. "Just the same old shit with my old man."

"You didn't tell you Dad you were gay?" I asked.

Bryce sat in a chair. "No, I didn't. I guess I'm too afraid. I'm almost positive I know how he will react--and that is definitely not well."

"So what are you going to do then?" I asked.

Bryce avoided my stare.

"Are you going on that date?" I demanded.

Bryce glanced at me and then looked away.

My mouth dropped open. "You have to be kidding Bryce. You have to tell your Dad the truth. You shouldn't have to be forced on dates because your Dad set it up for you!"

"I know," Bryce said in frustration.

"Well if you know, why don't you do something about it?" I asked.

"It's not that easy!"

"I think it is that easy!" I shot back.

"My Dad won't be as understanding as yours!" Bryce yelled.

"I understand that, but come on! It's your life! You have to start living it for yourself! You're always telling me that your dad is overbearing. I think you would be much happier if you didn't do every little thing he said."

"You want me to just cut off my Dad?" Bryce asked angrily.

"No," I started to say.

"I can't just do that no matter how much my Dad pisses me off. He's my Dad!
He's my only family!"

"So what am I supposed to do? Just stand around and wait for you to get home from all your future dates? Am I supposed to be on call when your future wife won't put out or if you need a babysitter for the 2.5 kids you're going to have, huh Bryce?" I sneered.

"Helaku! I don't need this right now," Bryce burst out, standing up suddenly.

"Fine," I replied evenly. "Have fun on your date." I turned around and headed to the front door.

"Helaku, please be patient. I just need more time to tell my Dad," Bryce pleaded, jumping in front of me.

"I don't want you to go on that date tonight," I said firmly, crossing my arms.

"What difference does it make? Nothing will happen. I'm gay," Bryce said a little impatiently.

"Anything can happen, even with a gay guy and a woman. Don't have drinks with dinner," I advised.

"Yeah, you should know," Bryce muttered. When my eyes snapped to his, Bryce swallowed hard and suddenly looked regretful.

I stopped in my tracks. "What did you say?" I asked, leaning in closer to him.

"Nothing," he said a little too quickly.

"No, tell me," I said my mouth in firm line.

"Helaku, I don't want to fight," Bryce said holding up his hands.

"Too late, now what did you say!" I yelled.

"Well don't worry about me cheating on you with a woman. You're the one that cheats and runs to alcohol every time something goes wrong!" Bryce yelled back.

I gasped and took a step away from him. I was literally speechless.

Bryce was just staring at me. Then all the color began to drain from his face.

"You really think that about me?" I asked quietly. "That I'm just a drunken cheater and I'll betray you the first chance I get?"

Bryce looked like he didn't know what to say.

"Thanks a lot," I said, feeling more sad than angry. "I thought you said you trusted me and gave me more credit than that. I guess that just makes you a liar!"

"Helaku, I didn't mean it. I just got angry," Bryce tried to explain.

"Save it! I'm leaving," I said resuming my walk to the door. "According to you, I should be popping back shots right about now."

"No! Don't drink!" Bryce said grabbing my arm.

"What do you care?" I asked ripping my arm from his grip. "Have fun on your date," I said sarcastically, emphasizing the word date.

"Helaku!" Bryce called out after me. "I'm sorry, I just can't tell my Dad right now," Bryce said running up to me before I got to the door.

"You're a coward," I said. "Coming out is hard, I get it. It's not like I knew how my Dad would take it. I did it anyway because I had to for me. If he did disown me or kick me out, I would have found a way to survive. Even without my Dad, I would have at least been happy with being true to myself and the people around me."

"I get it, ok?" Bryce hissed. "I'm a loser, a coward. I'm not good enough for you."

"I never said that," I shot back, narrowing my eyes.

"You may as well have. You obviously look down on me for not coming out to my Dad," Bryce said.

"No, I was just advising you to do something for yourself," I argued. “For us.”

"Look, I'll tell him when I'm ready," Bryce snapped, glaring at me.

"Fine," I snapped back. "Just don't expect me to sit around and wait while you go off with some stupid girl." I stalked out of the house and headed towards my car.

"Yeah and you have fun with your best friend, a bottle of vodka and the next trick you pick up," Bryce snarled at me.

I gave him the finger and hopped into my car. I glanced over at Bryce's condo one last time. Bryce was still in the doorway. From where I was, I couldn't really read his expression. I just turned away and drove out of his parking lot.

I sped down the streets, and raced to a light. As it turned red, I jammed on my breaks, attracting stares. I shot everyone dirty looks and fumed silently. I did have a sudden urge to drink.

The light turned green. I wasn't sure where to go. Should I go home and sleep it off or go to the nearest drugstore and buy some hard liquor and then drink at home, all by my lonesome? But I didn't really feel like drinking. I didn't want to break my promise to myself.

Damn it!

I slammed the steering wheel and honked the horn twice by accident. I waved my hand in apology at the car in front of me and whipped out my cell phone.

"Can you meet me for lunch?" I asked.

****************

I waited at my table and sipped on my water.

Yeah, that's right, water. No alcohol, just water. I was gonna drink like a fish, and piss an ocean of water later.

Hooray!

I saw a tall man in a nice navy suit walk in the door. His bright, powder blue eyes looked around the restaurant. When they landed on me, recognition flashed across them. He made his way over to me.

"Thanks for coming," I mumbled as he sat down.

"Is everything all right? You sounded a little upset on the phone," my father said with concern in his eyes. "Did something happen at work?"

I rolled my eyes and slumped in my seat. "Contrary to your beliefs, my life doesn't revolve around my job, Dad. I do have other things outside of work that could disrupt my life," I said in a childish tone.

My father frowned and looked at me carefully. "Then why don't you tell me what's wrong instead of acting like you're twelve," he said in an even tone.

I sighed and forced myself to sit up in my chair as I told my Dad all about Crew and how we had been dating for about four months before we had a fight, broke up, and I cheated on him after hitting up a bar. My Dad frowned when I mentioned the drinking and sleeping with a random guy.

My Dad always worried about me having safe sex. He wanted to make sure I didn't contract anything. It's not like straight couples were disease free, but I didn't want to piss my Dad off by saying that.

Then I explained how I met Bryce at the advertising agency, how we didn't get along at first, how I came out to him by accident, and how he came to apologize. I told Dad that we became friends, and then later boyfriends when Bryce said he had a crush on me. I omitted the part where I made out with Bryce after sketching him nude--no need to completely disgust my Dad. Right before lunch no less.

When I finished talking, I watched as my Dad just sat across from me, looking as if he were thinking things over.

"Well?" I asked impatiently.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked carefully.

I sighed. "I don't know. Just say something; tell me what to do; tell me what an idiot I am, what a fuck up I am."

"You really think I would say those things to you?" my Dad asked cocking his head at me.

"Well you never hesitated in the past," I grumbled resentfully.

My Dad just stared at me. I stared back at him. I took in his pale skin with a sprinkle of freckles, full head of thick brown hair, pale blue eyes, and all his traditional Irish qualities.

After awhile his stern expression began to make me nervous. Suddenly, he leaned forward and looked at me, his expression visibly softer.

"Listen Helaku, I know our relationship hasn't been, and still isn't, as strong as it should be," he began, pausing to collect his thoughts. "But you have to understand why I was so hard on you as a kid. I only wanted the best for you. I know all parents say that but I really did. I won't be around forever Helaku. Although money flowed freely for you as a child, I wanted to make sure you knew how to work hard and make something of yourself--to be able to support yourself.

I opened my mouth to respond but he just continued ahead.

"That's why I was so annoyed with you for getting that bartending job," he went on.

"Dad," I tried to interrupt.

"My reaction to your coming out to me could have been more supportive. I get that, but you have to understand where I was coming from, as a parent, Helaku. I wasn't ashamed or embarrassed of you for being gay. I still love you; you're still my son and always will be. I will always be here when you need me. It's just that I didn't want you to only be known as gay--to have no other qualities than just being gay or have things handed or taken away because of that. I advised you to keep your sexuality to yourself, not to hide it but because people out there are just so judgmental. Even if they pretend to be ok with it, they're really not, and then they turn on you the first chance they get."

"I want you to be known for your achievements and abilities. They have to define who you are, not just your sexuality. When I think of you as my son, I don't think of you as being gay, but I think of you as stubborn, headstrong, hardworking, smart, kind, and the greatest son I could ask for."

"Even though you get on my nerves with your 'whatever' attitude, I admire you Helaku. You do what you want and when you say something, you make it happen. When you told me you were going to graduate in three years so you could have a free year to explore what you wanted to do, I didn't believe you. I figured once you got a taste of college life you would be like everyone else; partying and drinking. You proved me wrong. You did it and you did it well. I have never been more proud."

I didn't know what to say. I just gawked at my Dad. He was proud of me? For graduating early so I could bartend? No fucking shit.

"For real?" I asked in amazement.

My Dad chuckled. Jesus, my Dad knew how to chuckle. "Yes for real."

"When you wanted to bartend and I was against it, you did it anyway because it's what you wanted to do. You were always true to yourself and did what you felt was right. You were unwilling to compromise when it came to your happiness. I never had that. I did what my parents asked because the pressure got to me; but not you. You're so much stronger. You're just like your mother."

As soon as my Dad mentioned my mother, we both fell silent.

"When your mother died Helaku, I don't know," my Dad said shaking his head, "I apologize for being so distant and not being around. I didn't know how to handle it. I threw myself into my work and forced you to work too, without letting you heal and grieve properly. I mean you were a child and I wasn't even there for you. I didn't know how to deal with it myself. Your mother took care of me and you. She did everything and without her I was lost," he said wistfully. I saw the pain written on his face even though my mother had died twelve years ago.

"You reminded me so much of her, your fiery and wild nature, your abhorrence of rules. You were my kid and I abandoned you. I became this distant Dad who put all this pressure on you. I was never there for you. I truly regret that now and I hope you can forgive me," he said pleading.

I nodded without saying a word. I was still in shock.

"Anyway, what I'm trying to say is this," Dad said clearing his throat. His face became neutral again. "You're smart and you know what you want. I could see that in you from way back. So I bet you know what to do with Bryce. You know how you feel, but you have trouble seeing it because you're not letting yourself. You're afraid to take that step."

"Wow, Dad," was all I muster.

"Is this Bryce a good guy?" he asked.

"The best," I said still not believing I was having this conversation with my Dad.

"Do you love him?"

I paused and stirred my straw in my cup. I looked up into my Dad's inquiring eyes.

"It doesn't matter. I don't think we're going to work out. He's not even out to his Dad," I said becoming pissy again.

"Well maybe he's not ready to tell him," my Dad answered reasonably.

"Yeah well he's going out on dates with girls!"

My Dad raised his eyebrows and smiled in amusement. "Are you sure he's really gay then?"

I shot my Dad a glare. "He is gay Dad, trust me. He's just going out with this woman because his Dad set it up without asking. He’s too scared to tell his Dad the truth."

"I mean, it's not fair to me either. I shouldn't have to sit around while he dates girls. I just can't do that," I said firmly.

My Dad nodded in agreement. "You're right. It's not fair to you. But what do you plan on doing then?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you going to break things off with him then?"

I didn't answer right away. I didn't want to break up with Bryce. I wanted to be with him.

"I guess I have to," I said sadly. "Dad, I think I'm destined to be alone."

My Dad looked at me sympathetically. "I don't believe that and I don't think you really do either."

"Well everything is so messed up. This is my second real relationship and it's going down the toilet!" I exclaimed.

My Dad laughed again. "Listen Helaku, nothing is easy. You of all people should know that. There are so many things in life that aren't fair. We both know that," he said, referring to my mother. "But life is what it is. You just have to figure out how to deal with it as best as you can. I can tell you care for Bryce. But you still have to look out for yourself ok? Just remember that. And whatever happens, I'll be here and you can talk to me whenever."

"Dad, can I move back in with you?" I whined. "I'm gonna die alone otherwise."

My Dad let out a hearty laugh. "Well you're all grown up now and have been living on your own for a whole year now--actually even before then--since you went off to those dorms. You're welcome to stay with me for a few days if you need to. Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you about something," he said avoiding my eyes.

"What?" I asked.

"I, uh, I, um, met someone," my father said nervously, clearing his throat.

I smiled. "Someone?" I teased. Ever since my Dad had broken off the engagement with his previous fiancé--I think her name was Sheila--he hadn't been with anyone but his work. Hearing he had met someone else so soon was kind of startling.

He smiled. "Yeah, she's a partner at the firm. I always thought she was attractive, but I never made a move. She's just so intelligent and smart. She doesn't let people push her at all. I mean some guy made a sexist comment and she went off on him, not yelling, but in a calm voice. She just seemed so powerful and confident. I asked her to dinner one night and we've been together ever since."

The fact that this woman was a partner at his firm was a good sign already. Sheila had been some spoiled, stupid thing. I didn't care for her one bit. Perhaps this woman would be a better fit for my father.

"How long ago was this?" I asked curiously.

"Only about a month ago, although we've been friends for awhile. I was going to tell you sooner, but..."

"I know, I know. You got sidetracked. I understand Dad. It's the workaholic in you."

He smiled at me. "I really would like you to meet her. Maybe we can all have dinner back at the house? Is that ok with you?"

I smiled. I couldn't believe my Dad was asking if I was alright with him meeting someone. I was happy for him. I couldn't remember my Dad ever doing anything fun, or smiling as much as I had seen him over lunch. He needed to have a life again and not let my mother's death haunt him into a lonely existence.

"I would love to," I said sincerely.

"Great," my Dad said beaming and his eyes lit up.

"She wouldn't happen to have a gay son, nephew, or cousin would she?" I joked.

He chucked his napkin at me and waved his hand to flag down a waiter.

For once my Dad actually made me feel better.

This day wasn't so bad after all.

***************CREW***************

"You beat me," I whined as Hiro sailed right past me at the end of the trail.

Hiro turned to me and just smiled. "Sorry, I'll try not to next time!"

I folded my arms and pretended to look mad. Hiro walked over to me and put his arm around my shoulders. "It's ok Crew. You're still number one in my mind," he offered, whispering in my ear. I looked at him. Our faces were so close together that our noses were practically touching. His narrow eyes seemed to be staring directly into mine. I swallowed hard.

"Hey lovebirds, let's go again!" Zeke called out to us. Hiro patted my lower back and followed the rest of the group. I watched as Storm, Skyler, and Zeke squeezed into a lift chair. Hiro and I waited for the next one to come.

I noticed that Skyler and Zeke were more touchy-feely these days. I reminded myself to ask Zeke about it. Once of these days, he and I were gonna have to have a sleepover or something. He was supposed to be visiting me for winter break, but I haven't been seeing much of him. Not that I was complaining; I was happy for Zeke and Skyler. I was perfectly content spending my time with Hiro, who didn't appear to be sick of my face yet.

As Hiro and I got off the lift and prepared to board down, I couldn't help admire Hiro's lean back as he maneuvered to the edge. Hiro was just so good at everything. He was one of those people you'd hate because they would try something for the first time and be so damned good at it. Granted he used to be on a snowboarding team, he knew how to be super fast, and had awesome strategies, but still.

"Ready?" he called out to me. I nodded. He took off with me following behind him.

Hiro's moves were small and tight; he didn't expend any unnecessary energy or movements. He knew how to manipulate the mountain and managed to always conform his body to the trail. Where other snowboarders came out wide through a turn, he hugged the curve and ended up further ahead. I was stunned. His technique was just amazing. I swear, Hiro would never cease to amaze me.

The other day when Zeke and Skyler were off again doing their own thing, Hiro suggested trying something new. So he went to his closet and whipped out a bow and some arrows.

I remember taking a step back and feeling surprised.

"Is that a magical closet?" I asked amused. "I always wanted a pony. A white one. Can you get one for me?" I asked sweetly.

Hiro just smiled and walked over to me. "I used to do some archery. It was fun; now come with me." He led me to his backyard which had a bunch of trees. I spotted one tree with a dart board style target on it.

"Come on, I'll show you," he offered, motioning for me to come closer.

He handed me the bow and arrow. I just held it awkwardly, staring down at it.

Hiro chuckled. "Crew, hold it like this," he said taking my arms and placing my hands in the correct position.

"Now pull back like this,” he instructed once the arrow was in place.

I had trouble focusing, despite his instructions. His hand was on my arm, making it tingle. His body was so close to mine that I could feel the heat coming off of him.

"Now look at the center target and don't break eye contact with it. Just keep looking and imagine your arrow hitting it. The arrow will go where your eyes are."

I stared at the center and never wavered my gaze.

"Keep your elbow level. If you raise it too high, it will throw your arrow off course," he said.

His other hand, the one not on my arm, slowly came around my waist, resting lightly there. I froze.

"Focus," Hiro whispered, his breath washing over my ear gently.

I'm trying, dammit! Give a guy a break!

"Now shoot," he said. I let go and watched as the arrow sailed into the air. It hit the next oval after the center target.

I felt lips on my neck briefly. The touch was so soft and light, I wasn't sure it really happened at all. I turned to Hiro and stared at him questioningly. He just stared back at me, not saying anything, his expression not giving anything away. I frowned slightly. I didn't know if I had imagined that he kissed my neck. I didn't want to say anything, in case I ended up looking like an idiot.

"Good job for an amateur," he said breaking out into a small smile.

"Thanks," I said slowly, my expression still puzzled.

"Let's try it again," Hiro suggested standing behind me again.

Yes, please do. My neck was burning on the spot that Hiro had supposedly kissed me.

I wished he would kiss me for real.

Oh crap!

I felt my board begin to slide around as I somehow lost control. I tried to maintain my balance but inevitably I fell over, crashing onto my butt. The board scraped the snow, shaving ice into the air. I slid a couple feet forward but managed to stay stationary after that point.

"Wipe out!"

I looked to the voice and spotted Brian, a guy who worked at the mountain with me and the twins. He grinned at me as he passed.

I smiled at him and pushed myself to my feet. I had to focus; otherwise, I'd come home with a discolored body. I didn't think purple and blue went well with my skin tone.

"Hey man, heard you fell on your ass," Skyler hollered when I made it down.

I rolled my eyes at him and noticed Zeke hugging Skyler. Wow, in public.

"Lunch break?" I asked Hiro. He nodded.

We all headed into the lodge to the food places.

Skyler and Zeke of course rushed to get in line, while Hiro and I kind of lagged behind.

"Hey over break, do you want to go to New York City? Have you ever been there before?" I suddenly asked as the idea popped into my head.

Hiro shook his head. "No, it was too far for me to go. Besides, my grandparents were against it."

"Why?" I asked incredulously.

Hiro shrugged. "They thought it was too dangerous for me or for anyone else, for that matter."

I smiled in amusement. "You? Aren't you the Kendo Master Extraordinaire?" I said in a mocking tone.

Hiro laughed. "I can't fight for shit without a weapon. Otherwise I just stand there like an idiot."

For some reason I didn't believe that. Hiro was just being modest again.

"So if I got attacked you wouldn't come to my rescue? You wouldn't be my white knight in shining armor?" I said batting my eyes.

Hiro grinned. "I'll just run into a store and borrow a broom and then I'll be good to go."

I laughed.

"You've been to New York then?" he asked me.

I nodded. "Tons of times."

"Who protects you then?" Hiro asked in a teasing tone.

I smiled. "I usually go with Storm and Skyler. No one ever messes with us--or more specifically--them. Just because they're Asian, everyone assumes they know, like, ten forms of martial arts. In reality, the closest Skyler ever came to doing karate was when he cut a cake in half with his hand."

Hiro snorted.

"They're like my personal ass-kicking team. I make sure to always be in the middle, where it's nice and safe."

After Hiro and I got food, we joined the group at a table.

I noticed Zeke pop a chicken finger into Skyler's mouth and I raised my eyebrows.

"You guys look cozy," I commented.

Zeke looked up and Skyler just shrugged and continued eating.

I looked curiously at Zeke, who only smiled. "We are cozy," Zeke said without elaborating anymore. I made a mental note to beat the information out of him later.

"No shit!" Storm muttered. I turned to look at him and silently communicated for him to go on. "I swear I'm going to need a new place to stay soon, due to my lack of sleep into the wee hours of the morning."

Zeke coughed and Skyler actually looked a little embarrassed for once in his life.

"They go at it all night long," Storm clarified. Skyler shot his brother a nasty look but didn't say anything more.

My jaw dropped. "You guys are having sex?" I asked. I figured they had been fooling around, since I had seen Skyler's hand shoved down Zeke's pants at the Christmas party. But I didn't know they were actually having sex. Zeke and Skyler had been surprisingly tight-lipped about their relationship. I think it had something to do with Zeke's superstitious nature, and not wanting to jinx anything.

Zeke blushed, Skyler continued eating without a care in the world, Hiro looked amused, and Storm just looked annoyed.

"Zeke! I can't believe you never told me. What happened to us being girlfriends?" I asked, poking him in the ribs and grinning. "My little Zeke is all grown up."

"Shut up," Zeke muttered, blushing profusely, his ears turning red.

"Who bottoms and who tops?" Storm asked suddenly. He was grinning and seemed to be enjoying teasing his brother.

"Storm, don't be jealous because I'm the only one in the house getting any," Skyler said slyly. He reached over and took Zeke's hand.

"Hey!" Storm said.

"Are you guys officially a couple then?" Hiro asked smoothly, deflecting a potential argument.

"Yeah," Skyler said wrapping his arm around Zeke possessively. I had never seen Zeke look so pleased before.

"So, my twin who potentially has gay tendencies as well, keep your hands off," Skyler teased Storm.

Storm rolled his eyes and didn't say anything else.

I smiled at Zeke who was avoiding my eyes. "You guys are so cute," I said.

"I know," Skyler said immediately.

"I'm still hungry," Zeke popped in.

"Here have this," Skyler said handing Zeke his almost full container of fries. "I'll get some more," Skyler said, standing up and heading back in line.

Storm and I just stared at Skyler as he walked away; then we looked back at Zeke, who was happily munching on fries, completely oblivious.

"What?" he asked when he noticed all of us looking at him.

"Did you realize what just happened?" Storm asked Zeke in a very serious voice.

Zeke looked confused and looked at me to explain.

"Skyler gave you his food," I said. "He loves food more than life and he just gave it to you."

Zeke blushed. "Oh."

"He would let me drown in a pool as long as he got his hamburgers first; but he handed you his fries just like that," I said snapping my fingers.

Storm and I just continued to look at Zeke in awe.

Skyler plopped back down in his chair with more fries and some chicken fingers.

In wonder, we all turned our attention to him.

"What are you fuckers staring at?" he asked grinning, flashing us a mouthful of mashed up potatoes.

Hiro grimaced.

Storm groaned and looked away.

I just smiled.

**************BRYCE*************

"Helaku, where the hell have you been?" I demanded when I managed to corner him in the office Tuesday morning.

I’d had my date with Savanna on Saturday night. Although she appeared to be having a good time, I most certainly was not. I couldn't keep my mind off of Helaku and his face, when I said all those terrible things to him which I really didn't mean. All I wanted to do was just find him and talk to him.

Instead I was stuck with Savanna, who overall was a very nice and intelligent woman. It's just that I wasn't interested in her, or any other woman for that matter. She chatted away and carried on most of the conversation. I added as little as possible and just nodded my head once in awhile. She seemed satisfied with that.

I studied Savanna, her long blond hair and bright blue eyes. She wore just enough makeup to bring out her features, but not so much that she looked like a clown. To others we must have made the most perfect couple; but someone like Savanna should have no problem finding a blond male who was not gay and in love with another man.

I was the perfect gentleman and date. I opened her door, pulled out her chair, paid the bill, brought flowers and gave her a quick chaste peck on the cheek when I dropped her off at home. I politely declined her when she invited me inside. A look of disappointment flashed across her attractive features, but she smiled and said "I had a wonderful time. Maybe we can do it again some time."

I froze and didn't know what to do.

So I pasted on a smile and croaked "Sure," and then left quickly.

Shit, shit, shit, what a mess I was in. What was I going to do? I didn't want to hurt Savanna. I didn't want to disappoint my Dad. I most definitely did not want to lose Helaku. I had a lot of thinking to do.

I came home that Saturday evening and just moped around, mostly feeling sorry for myself and my situation.

I should come out to my Dad. I was almost 27. My life should be mine by now. He no longer had any control over me. I was an adult, I paid for my own stuff, I had a job and I didn't depend on him for financial support--so what was there to lose?

I cringed. Well, losing my Dad was pretty crappy. But then again he hadn't really been that much of a Dad. Nannies took care of me for as long as I could remember, ever since my Mom left. I only saw my Dad on rare occasions when he wanted to tell me to do something, like this morning for example.

I groaned. And Helaku, I really did love him, ever since I first saw him walk into the office. I was looking over some paperwork with a bunch of other coworkers. He came in wearing a navy blue suit which his tall and broad shouldered body filled out to perfection. His green and blue striped tie made me notice his bright green eyes. He had such an exotic quality, short dark hair, long distinguished nose, and a large inviting smile that seemed adorable with the tiny gap between his teeth.

He just walked right into the group and introduced himself, without any fear or worry. He just exuded pure confidence. I could tell everyone was immediately taken with him, as was I, in a different way of course. When he got to me, I just nodded, shook his hand, and then turned away. I didn't want to lust after some straight guy. He could destroy me, out me; the possibilities were endless.

So I did what any immature idiot would do, I made fun of him and acted like a jerk whenever I had the chance. It was a way for me to stay away but also be near him and spend time with him. I could tell he was annoyed with me but I even enjoyed his annoyed looks, because he was just so beautiful.

When he told me he was gay--by accident of course--I was shocked and happy. Helaku had mistaken my shock for something else and ran. I felt terrible for making him feel badly or worried. I knew I had to try and make things right. I finished my work day--which was agony. Then I went to his uncle and made up some excuse about how Helaku was sick and that I wanted his address to check up on him. That was no problem.

Breaking through Helaku's defenses was a problem. I had to practically gag and tie him to get him to go to dinner with me; even then it was strained. However, gradually we became closer, like friends. We ate lunches together, worked on projects and presentations, had dinners, played basketball, and had long talks. He was really my best friend. I realized I really did love Helaku and not only for his looks.

It took me months to make a move. I didn't know if he was still hung up on his ex. One night I just couldn't take it anymore. I don't know where I got the balls to strip right in front of him and ask him to sketch me nude. I just wanted him so badly that I was willing to do anything.

Then we began dating and things were perfect until my Dad came along and screwed everything up. My fucking Dad. He just loves to ruin my life. Well, I let him ruin my life.
I grabbed my hair with my hands and let out a large sigh.

Why me?

"Did you follow me into the bathroom?" Helaku shot back when he turned the corner and spotted me.

"Well, you've been ignoring me. I couldn't just burst out about our personal lives in front of everyone," I said folding my arms.

Hela rolled his eyes and washed his hands. He grabbed a paper towel and was about to walk out the door when I grabbed him and spun him around.

"You weren't at work yesterday. I called your house and your cell all weekend, but you never picked up. Are you ok?" I asked.

He looked annoyed and wrenched his arm from my grip. "I'm fine. What do you care anyway?"

I took a step back, hurt. "Of course I care Helaku."

"I just took a day off, alright?"

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"I needed some time to relax and stuff," he answered vaguely.

"Where were you?" I asked suspiciously.

Helaku gave me a pointed look. "I didn't pick up some trick at a bar, if that's what you're thinking."

I looked away guiltily.

"After our fight, I had lunch with my Dad. Then I stayed over at his house for the rest of the weekend and into Monday. I just didn't feel like going to work."

"You mean you didn't feel like seeing me," I said, pain spreading into my gut.

Helaku stared at me. "Why were you looking for me anyway?"

"I needed to see you, that's all."

"Why? Did you need me for a booty call? Did you date not put out?" he asked sarcastically, reaching for the door again.

I slammed it shut with my foot, surprising even Helaku. "Nothing happened! The date was terrible because the entire time she was talking, I was thinking of you and our fight!"

Helaku sighed. "Listen, we should get back to work."

"No, I want to talk," I insisted.

"This isn't a good time."

"Then have dinner with me?" I asked.

"No," Helaku said firmly.

"Why not?"

"Because this isn't going to work out," Helaku burst out.

I stepped back and looked at him head on. "What do you mean?"

"This can't work Bryce. I can't do this. It isn't fair to me you know," he said glancing at me. "I can't just sit by and be the secret scandal in your life while you try to pretend to be straight. It's too much for me to handle. Maybe it's selfish on my part, but I want you all to myself."

"So you want to end it with me?" I asked swallowing hard.

Helaku rubbed his forehead and looked at the floor sighing. "As for the relationship, I guess so, but I really do care about you, Bryce and I love spending time with you. Maybe eventually we can be friends?"

I had to fight the urge to cry or shout or something.

"I can't just be friends with you," I said evenly.

"Well, then I guess we'll have to figure something else out. I have no idea what to do," Helaku said in a resigned tone.

"What if I told my Dad?" I asked, grasping for straws at this point.

Helaku looked at me sadly. "You were right Bryce. You should do it when you're ready. No one should force you to do something you're not willing to do. I don't want to pressure you or be the reason for the falling out with your Dad. I'm just saying I can't be there in the process, ok? It hurts that you would go on a date with someone else and possibly more dates in the future. I can't just be ok with that. I'm sorry."

I hung my head. "I know."

"You're a great person Bryce. You’ll never know how much you've helped me with everything in my life. You're the reason things have turned out ok for me. I would have been feeling depressed and done god knows what. I've enjoyed all the time we spent together. You were my best friend."

"This sounds like a goodbye," I said, a hard lump forming in my throat.

"No," Helaku said smiling weakly. "I'll always see you at work." With that, he opened the door and left.

I no longer had the energy to stop him. I felt weak and tired all of a sudden. I just wanted to crawl into bed.

*****************

"You don't look well Bryce, are you ok?" Savanna asked with concern. She placed her hand on my forehead and felt my temperature.

I knew for a fact that nothing was wrong with me, although I looked like shit. My eyes had dark circles underneath; my skin was a shade paler, and my posture was slumped over.

My Dad shot me disapproving glances over the dinner table. I ignored him.

I was feeling shitty. I had seen Helaku all week at work but we no longer spoke, at all. We didn't have lunch together. Even though we still worked together on projects, the conversations were fake and strained. It was hard seeing him, but knowing he wasn't mine anymore. It physically hurt me. It was even worse since I knew that the reason we weren't together anymore was because of me and my cowardice.

I was even more bitter because earlier in the day I had seen Helaku talking with a new coworker at the agency; he was smiling and laughing with him. I didn't know if the new guy was gay or not, but I still didn't like him pawing Helaku like that.

Friday night dinner. Someone fucking shoot me. Please!

I stared at my father and stepmother, who I barely knew and had effectively managed to avoid all these years. They were married, but obviously weren't happy. They barely saw each other and were only married by title. I didn't need to be married or have kids to be happy. All I needed was Helaku; we didn't even have to do anything special to be happy. We were just happy being together. To me that was priceless.

I shook my head. I couldn't believe I was willing to give him up for my Dad, who was looking down on me at dinner at this moment because I was making a bad impression on him to Savanna and my so-called mother.

Well, fuck him.

I sat up straighter. Go time!

"I'm gay."

Silence.

Savanna looked shocked, my step mother looked disgusted, and my father just looked stoic.

He cleared his throat. "What did you say?"

"I'm gay Dad," I repeated.

"That is not funny, Bryce," he said sternly.

"I'm not joking," I said, raising my voice. "I'm gay."

"Stop saying that!" my Dad snapped.

"I'm gay Dad and when you came over last Saturday and forced me to have dinner with Savanna, I was with my lover. He was in my bedroom," I shot back.

My Dad looked appalled. Savanna looked, I don't know, oddly calm.

"You're a fag?" my father said, his voice laced with contempt.

I winced, but then mentally told myself I could do this.

"I am a homosexual; I like other guys; I am gay; but, I am not a fag. That implies something negative. There is nothing negative about me at all!" I said in a harsh tone.

My palms were sweating; my heart was pounding. Oh, I really hoped I wouldn't pass out in the middle of this "discussion".

"How long have you been a faggot?" my father demanded.

"I realized I was gay in high school. Thanks Dad for pushing me to join basketball and lacrosse. Did wonders for my sex life," I said, smiling when my Dad's mouth dropped open.

"You had sex in high school with other boys?" my stepmother asked, equally shocked.

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Sure, why not? Didn't you have sex in high school? I bet you did. I can tell just by looking at you, mother," I said sarcastically.

She gasped and her eyes flashed. She turned to face my father as if asking him to do something about me.

"Don't talk to you mother that way!" my father seethed.

"Why not? You talk to me like I'm shit. What's the difference?"

"The difference is that I am your father! I demand respect!"

"Well, I want respect too!" I yelled, tears brimming in my eyes. "I did everything you ever wanted me to when I was younger, even in college, and even now. Now I lost Helaku and I’ve realized that you'll never be happy with me, no matter what I do. If I married Savanna and had a daughter, you would be like, ‘you should have had a son’," I mocked, imitating his voice.

"So if you're not going to approve of me or what I do no matter what, I may as well do what is right for me."

"I can't believe this, you ungrateful little bastard!" my Dad snarled.

"I don't need you anymore, Alexander," using his first name. His eyes bulged out of his head. "I have a good job and you can't get me fired for being gay. So don't even try! I don't need you or your money; I never have! You were never a father to me anyway--you hated me. You still hate me!" I shouted.

After that, everyone was silent again. I just stared at my Dad, challenging him with my eyes. My Dad was fuming. I never broke eye contact with Alexander Whitman.

I felt a soft touch on my hand and looked over at Savanna.

"I am so sorry," I said sincerely. She merely smiled and nodded her head.

"It's ok Bryce. It is really ok."

I smiled back at her. She really was a good person.

"Do you love him?" she suddenly asked.

I looked at her in surprise, somehow knowing to whom she was referring. "Yes."

"Then what are you doing here still?" she asked quietly. "You should go get him."

"Savanna!" my father exclaimed.

"Come on; let me give you a ride. I want to get out of here anyway," she said smiling broadly.

"Savanna!" My father and stepmother both cried out as we stood up.

I took her hand and we walked towards the door. "Good bye Alexander. Have a nice life," I said over my shoulder, before slamming the door.

"Thanks for being ok with that," I told Savanna as we headed to her car.

"I admire your courage Bryce. To say all those things to your father--admit you are gay and have a lover--is unbelievable."

"I didn't have enough courage. Otherwise I would have said something sooner. Helaku won't speak to me," I said sadly.

"He will. I don't think anyone can resist your pretty face," she said smiling at me.

I chuckled. "He might."

"You should be proud of yourself Bryce. You did something good for yourself," she said.

I nodded. "Thanks Savanna." I paused. "Listen Savanna, I need to see Helaku and I should go on my own," I started.

She held up her hand. "I knew that. I just really needed to get out of that stuffy environment," she said, taking her hair out of her ponytail. "I think I'm gonna go clubbing," she said grinning.

I shook my head. "We should get together sometime and hang out, talk."

She grinned. "Sure, I always wanted to be a fag hag. I do love my Will and
Grace."

We burst out laughing at the same time and I leaned in and hugged her.

"Goodbye Savanna."

"Good luck Bryce."

*************HELAKU**************

"Is everything all right?" my Dad asked, as I absentmindedly stabbed at my mashed potatoes.

I looked up into his concerned blue eyes and nodded.

A second later I shook my head and sighed. "No."

"Want to talk about it?"

I shook my head no. My Dad folded his hands and waited.

"I broke up with Bryce last week," I said. "We're officially over," I added in a depressed tone.

"So that's why you've been moping around," my Dad observed, taking a sip of water.

I had been staying with my Dad for about a week and half now. I don't know, maybe I needed the support or someone in the house with me, even if he wasn't home that much. I was avoiding the apartment because I didn't like being in the presence of happy memories of me and Bryce.

I was seriously regressing, needing my Dad at 22. What a baby.

"It's hard seeing him at work everyday," I admitted. “I feel like I'm unhappy because I chose to break up with him, but then again I know deep down I did the right thing."

My Dad nodded in agreement. "You certainly did Helaku. If things are meant to work out, they will in the future. Until then, try to cheer up."

"I can't, Dad," I whined.

He laughed. "My God, and here I thought I had a grown up son."

I had to smile when he said that.

"I'm just gonna be depressed forever then," I said stubbornly, slumping in my chair.

"Helaku, don't say that."

"Why not? It’s the truth," I said chucking a piece of steak in my mouth.

"Why don't you go out and do something to get your mind off of Bryce?" my
Dad suggested.

I shrugged my shoulders. "There's nothing to do. I don't drink or go to bars or clubs anymore; and I have no friends. Everyone hates me."

My Dad shot me a disapproving look at, but didn't harp on it too much.

"Well, do something then!" my Dad exclaimed in exasperation. "I can't take much more of this Hela."

"Gee, thanks Dad."

"You know what I mean," he said sternly. "No parent wants to see their child depressed."

"I know Dad. I'll try to work through it," I promised.

"I know you feel bad; you're allowed to, given the circumstances. I'm just saying don't let it destroy you. Find something to occupy yourself. Get your mind off of Bryce, so it won't eat away at you. Go out and try something new," he advised.

I nodded, taking in my Dad's words.

"I'll try," I said again, "But it's easier said than done."

"I know Hela. I know."

 

---