Jumping Over My Mountain - 27. Chapter 27

Jumping Over My Mountain
by Tiffani Chin

Chapter 27

---------------------------------------------

************HIRO**********

“Why aren’t you doing your work?” I asked. I had returned to the living room to find Patty smiling at the ceiling. “And what’s so funny?”

“I was just thinking about last Halloween,” he answered.

“Why?” I asked exasperated.

“It was really funny. I was Kobe Bryant.”

I raised my brow. “Kobe Bryant?” I repeated, looking him up and down. Sure, Patty was tall: 6’4 and still just a senior in high school. He was pale, had freckles all over his face and body, and a mop of red curls on his head. And an extremely goofy grin. In no way did he resemble the talented athlete.

“Yeah, it was insane. I painted my skin brown and spray painted my hair and wore shades, since I couldn’t get my Mom to buy me contacts. So I was, you know, Kobe Bryant, on a sunny day,” he finished grinning.

“Never mind, get working,” I ordered.

“Oh come on!” he protested. “All you do is work, work, work. You’ve already graduated college!”

“Patty.”

“Seriously Hiro, why are you so old? It’s kinda loserish. That’s sad because you seem like one of those cool, popular kids who always have something to do.”

“Do I?” I asked with surprise. Patty nodded.

“Even if that was the case, that doesn’t change the fact that you have a calc test this Tuesday,” I said.

Patty rolled his blue eyes. “Well, ever thought that taking a break would make me more productive?”

“You’re always taking breaks.”

He ignored me and continued his train of thought. “So, me and my friends are going to the movies tonight and maybe some food afterwards. You should come.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Why not? No offense, but I know you don’t have anything else going on. I mean, do you ever leave the house?” he snorted.

I eyed the kid sideways.

“Don’t give me that look,” Patty said smiling. “You know it’s true. A movie would be fun on a Friday night. We’re seeing one of those movies where it’s so stupid, you have no choice but to laugh.”

“Patty,” I began.

“If you hang out with my friends tonight, I promise I’ll have that English paper done by tomorrow so you can edit it,” he proposed.

I raised my brow in surprise. “Really?”

He nodded.

“Promise?” I asked.

He nodded eagerly.

I sighed and rubbed my head. “I’d be older than all you guys.”

“Not true,” Patty said shaking his head. “My group of friends is of completely mixed ages. Some are younger than me, some older, and then people bring siblings. You’re only twenty-three, twenty-four at most, right? Not that much older,” he said rolling his eyes. “So that’s a yes, right?”

I sighed again. “Fine. But get working on those math problems. And I expect that paper by tomorrow night.”

Patty saluted me, then giggled. “Yes Hiro. Talk about being a slave driver. You Japanese people. Remind me to never go to Japan. Especially if all them bitches be like you,” he grunted jokingly, laughing at his own statement.

I opened my mouth to tell him I wasn’t all Japanese; but he already knew that because of my grandmother. This was just another diversionary tactic--and I wasn’t falling for it.

“Get working,” I said sternly, but with a slight smile.

*************

The guy reminded me of Crew, which might explain why I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.

I didn’t even know who the guy was, but I had the feeling that he was the younger brother of one of Patty’s college friends or something like that. He was a really bubbly, hyper guy. He was doing a lot of talking and speaking so fast, I had trouble understanding everything. It was a-mile-a-minute of the most random stuff. Whenever he giggled, I could literally visualize Crew being right there with me.

It didn’t help matters that Jarett resembled Crew. He was around 18, and was shorter and slimmer than Crew. Not that Crew was fat, but Crew had some muscle, whereas Jarett just appeared slim. Almost a model slimness, which added to his effeminate appearance. He had the rosy cheeks, the dimples, the full lips, and the sparkling blue eyes. His face was more oval shaped and he had less of a defined jaw. His blond hair was slightly longer than Crew’s.

I’m sure he noticed I was staring at him. Patty definitely noticed because he was hanging around me, making sure I didn’t feel left out. He nudged me and grinned when I turned to him. I didn’t say anything and continued to watch Jarett as he talked animatedly with the group.

When we went to the movies, somehow we ended up sitting together; but nothing happened. The entire group actually watched the movie. Patty was right. It was so stupid that the entire theater ended up laughing. I, on the other hand, kept sneaking glances at Jarett out of the corner of my eye. As he laughed and his dimples flashed, I really thought Crew was sitting beside me. I was either going crazy or going through some serious Crew withdrawal.

“Let’s get something to eat,” Patty announced as we exited the theater, just as soon as the movie was over.

“Yeah!” several of his friends yelled in response.

“Hiro, you in?” Patty called back since he was walking ahead of me.

I glanced at Jarett and found his blue eyes trained on me. They appeared to sparkle in the dim lighting of the parking lot. He gave me a slight smile.

I turned back to Patty. “Yeah. Yeah. I’m in,” I said taking a deep breath.

*************CREW*************

My first session with Thomas Maini had been pretty productive once my initial stubbornness had passed. It was my first conversation without snapping or yelling at anyone. I had to admit it felt good. It felt good to just talk and not have everyone hounding me about how I was doing. Having a regular conversation gave me back a bit of normalcy. I liked Dr. Maini. So when Storm mentioned my second appointment shortly after my first one, I readily agreed--to Storm’s surprise.

I wasn’t quite ready to talk to my friends. Somehow it was easier expressing my feelings to a stranger--and an older person at that. He didn’t know me on a personal level, so I didn’t feel smothered or pitied, or even mocked, like I did with Zeke or Hiro. It was all in my head; Zeke and Hiro didn’t pity or mock me; but my head was messed up. So I guess I did need to talk to someone in order to sort it all out.

After my second session with Tom, I felt even more comfortable. By the first month, I felt like I could really talk to Tom and turn to him if needed. I think I was slowly getting better during these sessions. I was less moody and cranky. I was willing to work longer during my physical therapy sessions, which pleased Brett. He genuinely wanted me to get better faster. I was still using crutches, but feeling a lot stronger.

A huge accomplishment: I didn’t snap at Storm so easily. Now I could actually form whole sentences, instead of snarls and grunts. It was an improvement, albeit a slow one. I even managed to swallow my pride and apologize to Storm for being such an ass.

I lived with the guy. We were good friends, but then again, with the way I had been acting, there was no guarantee. It would do me good to be on decent terms with him. Not like he had it so easy either: dealing with fatherhood.

One afternoon, I made my way to his room. I stood in the doorway for a moment, watching the interaction between Storm and his son.

Storm was standing by the crib which was placed at the foot of his bed. He was holding Sean by his stomach, flying him in the air. Storm was making faces, causing Sean to laugh and wave his tiny hands around.

I smiled. That baby had one of the best temperaments ever. I rarely heard him crying at night, which was a relief to everyone in the house.

“Who’s the cutest baby?” Storm cooed. “Who’s the cutest baby in the world?” He kissed Sean’s face and hugged him tightly to his chest. “My baby’s the cutest in the world.” Just then, Storm looked up and spotted me. He nodded his head for me to enter. I hobbled in awkwardly then flopped onto his bed.

“What’s up?” he asked. His attention stayed focused on Sean, who was wiggling around, his round face grinning at his Dad.

I sighed heavily and buried my face in Storm’s pillow. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

Storm didn’t answer me and I shifted so I was looking at him.

“I didn’t mean to be a total asshole,” I offered in a small voice.

Storm finally smiled. “You mean it just comes naturally?” Storm asked, smirking. “What a strange talent to have.”

“Fuck you,” I muttered, but I was smiling nonetheless.

Storm sighed and cuddled Sean in an effort to get him to stop moving so much. It didn’t work--the baby squirmed even within Storm’s firm grip. “I know everything has been tough, Crew. It’s frustrating; it’s difficult; you’re gonna have bad days; but man, between Sean, my Mom, and you, there’s so much going on in this house, I feel like I just wanna kill someone. So while you’re going through a hard time, that’s no excuse for becoming a huge prick,” he huffed out. I had a feeling Storm had wanted to get that off his chest for awhile.

“I know,” I said looking him straight in the eye. “I’ll try to be better.”

“You don’t have to be better, Crew. Nothing is wrong with you,” Storm said. “I can’t imagine being in your shoes and having to deal with so much at such a young age. I just want you to feel better, you know? Then everything will be better for you. But I think you are already doing better,” he said with a smile. “This is the first conversation we’ve had since you got home from the hospital.”

“Yeah,” I said quietly. “I have been feeling better,” I admitted.

“I can tell. It’s in your whole demeanor. You’re still quiet and moody, but not quite on the level as before.” He cocked his head at me. “I take it that your meetings with Dr. Maini are going well then?”

“They are,” I said.

“I’m glad,” Storm answered. He then handed Sean to me, who immediately started crawling over my stomach and chest. “I have to go to the bathroom. Keep him company while I’m gone.”

“You plan on taking a long vacation to the bathroom or something?” I joked. “What, you hadn’t shit in days?”

Storm rolled his eyes. Sean smiled at me while he crawled toward my neck. I kissed his nose, causing him to giggle and shake his head.

“Hi baby Storm,” I whispered, brushing my lips against the baby’s soft cheeks. I pulled back and stared into the baby’s bright eyes. “You look just like your Daddy.” Well, Sean had hazel eyes and dark brown hair, but the resemblance was still there.

Storm smiled as he watched me and Sean from the doorway.

“Sean’s the only one who still likes me,” I murmured to myself.

“Huh?” Storm asked with confusion. “Who doesn’t like you?”

“I’m sure Zeke is pissed at me and I’m too much of a coward to approach him. I have no idea how Hiro feels about me. Then there’s your Mom,” I went on.

Storm sat back down on the bed. “No one is mad at you, Crew. I promise you that,” he said. “Zeke’s worried about you, but is too afraid to talk to you; he thinks you’ll bite off his head. Hiro asks about you all the time, to the point where he’s practically stalking me; but he is giving you your space. I think people are just afraid of you,” he explained gently.

“Yeah,” I whispered, looking into Sean’s tiny face.

“Trust me, if a baby--and babies are good judges of character, with their ability to sense evil--likes you, then you’re not all that bad,” Storm reassured.

“I hope.”

***************

One thing I dreaded about seeing Tom was that I knew eventually our sessions would have to become more serious. And that time was now.

“You mentioned a Hiro awhile back. Who is Hiro?” Tom asked.

I hesitated and looked at him. “Someone close to me,” I answered quietly. “Or was close to me. I don’t know anymore.”

“Why don’t you know if you’re close anymore?” Tom asked; he seemed confused.

“It’s a long story.”

He glanced at his watch, “You only arrived here three minutes ago. We have fifty-seven minutes left. Plenty of time for a long story. Entertain me, please.”

I could see I wasn’t going to be let off the hook that easily. I sighed and rubbed my head. “Hiro is…”

I blanked.

I didn’t know how to finish that statement. I didn’t know what Hiro was to me anymore. I didn’t know where we stood or how he felt about me. He hadn’t come by; but he called on occasion. I knew I had told him to give me space; but having no real contact with him, and limited conversation, I had no clue how he was doing. Although, I did know he was talking to Storm because Storm had mentioned a month or so ago that Hiro had returned from Colorado. I guess I still had mixed feelings toward Hiro.

“Your boyfriend?” Tom input.

I whipped my head up in surprise. “How did you know?”

He smiled. “You got this look in your eyes. A wistful look, like it was something more than just friendship. Like a lost love.”

“It may be lost,” I said sadly looking into my lap.

“So what happened?” he asked gently.

“This,” I said, pointing to my legs.

“I need a little more than that,” Tom joked. “I’m not a mind reader.”

“Ok, here are the basic facts,” I said taking a deep breath. “We met junior year of college and started dating. After graduation, we went to Colorado to visit his grandparents. His old boyfriend had it out for me. When we went snowboarding, his friends tried to kill me, or mess with me or whatever. They practically succeeded. Since then, I’ve been a fucking mess. I more or less broke up with Hiro. Or at least I think I did. I said I wanted a break, but I was unclear. I mean, I was just angry,” I argued, more with myself than with Tom. “I didn’t mean it, really. I didn’t think. I was just angry and wanted to hurt someone. Hurt Hiro because he…because he kept contradicting me. I just, shit, I don’t know anymore. I don’t know anything,” I rambled in one huge breath that made my chest ache.

I looked at Tom. Tom sat silently and appeared to be thinking.

“Are you mad at him?” he finally asked.

“No,” I answered immediately. I shocked myself at how quickly I came up with that answer.

“You seem surprised,” Tom stated eyeing me.

“I guess I am,” I stammered.

“Why?”

“I always thought I was a little angry at Hiro; but I guess not. After all, none of this was his fault. Hiro was just in the middle of it, kind of.”

“But you are angry,” he stated.

I shrugged. Tom waited patiently for me to speak. Under his calm and caring expression, I felt compelled to spill my guts.

“I’m angry that Caleb was fucking crazy. I’m angry that this happened to me, that I have such bad luck, that I have to work ten times harder than everyone else,” I blurted out in frustration. “When do I get a break from all this shit?”

I paused as I felt tears begin to build in my eyes.

I started to choke up. “There was so much pain,” I said in a quiet voice, my voice getting thick with emotion. “The shock of getting knocked down. The burning, tearing feeling in my knees. Hoping the pain would end. My head,” I said in a soft tone, touching my scar. It felt long and bumpy. I cringed. “All that blood. In my eyes, my ears, in the white snow.” I had the sudden urge to vomit.

Tears came to my eyes. “I really thought I was going to die.”

I was silent.

“I wasn’t ready to die,” I whispered.

“You wanted to live.”

I looked up, seeing Tom’s blurry face. “I thought of Hiro. I thought of how beautiful he was and how I wanted him there with me, to save me. I thought how unfair it was that Caleb would win Hiro.”

“I really thought I’d be ready to die whenever my time was up. I always wanted to be with my family again; but that was before I met Hiro. My life had become so good when we started going out. He’s the best. Too good for me,” I said choking on the lump in my throat.

“All he wanted to do was help me. He still is, even now; but I’m just so fucked up, I can’t accept his help. I keep pushing him away. I treat him like shit. I’m afraid he’ll move on to someone better than me, but I can’t seem to stop my behavior,” I rubbed my neck. “What if I lose him forever?” I whispered. “Oh God.”

That thought was unbearable and made my chest and stomach ache painfully.

”You feel guilty so you push him away, further increasing your guilt,” Tom mused, more to himself than to me. “A vicious cycle,” he murmured. Then he looked at me. “You love Hiro,” he stated.

More tears welled up. I was an emotional mess! “Yes.”

“Crew, you need to stop hating yourself for how you’ve reacted to all this. No one else hates you; you haven’t done anything wrong. You’ve made some mistakes and maybe are a bit hard to handle, but everyone clearly cares for you. If you understood that, you’d be recovering a lot faster and wouldn’t need to talk to me. Three times a week,” he smiled slightly.

“It’s not too late to make things right?” I asked him.

Tom smiled reassuringly. “Crew, I truly believe it’s never too late. You’re alive and damn lucky to be. While you’re here, you have the time to set things right, especially to the people that you love and that is what matters most. Not everyone gets that chance to make up for lost time or make things right or get forgiveness,” Tom went on. “You know?”

I nodded, taking in what he said.

“Crew, would you like to have dinner tonight?”

My eyes practically popped out of my head. I just stared at him. He didn’t seem to understand my confusion because he stared right back at me, waiting. Then his own eyes widened as realization washed over his face. He raised his hands in a calming manner.

“Wait, wait, not like that,” he said laughing. “Crew, my wife is an amazing cook and I’d love for you to meet her and my son. He’s kind of a loner and could use someone to talk to. Someone who is not a relative. Sound familiar?” he asked with a smile. “Plus, our time is almost up and I wouldn’t mind hanging out with you some more and picking that pea-brain of yours,” he joked.

I nodded. “Ok, I’ll go call Storm,” I said, smiling slightly.

As I waited for Storm to pick up, Tom was laughing to himself. I shot him a questioning look.

“I can’t believe you thought I was asking you out,” he snorted. “Kid, you’re not that cute! You’re a little young for me. Oh…and a guy!” He was grinning widely, clearly taking great enjoyment out of mocking me. Well, I guess it was sort of funny.

I shot him a dirty look, causing him to crow with laughter, but I couldn’t say anything further because Storm had answered the phone.

*************

“I’m fat!” I exclaimed as I held my very full stomach.

Tom, his wife Donna, and his son, Kenny all laughed.

Tom stood up and rubbed my hair affectionately. “Hardly, Crew. You need to put some weight on that skeleton you call a body. It’s looking a little gross. My other patients might get disgusted by the mere sight of you and I’d lose business. My whole livelihood would collapse.”

“Hey!” I protested, looking myself over.

Donna laughed. “Stop teasing the boy, Tom.” She turned to me. “Why don’t you two get out of here? We can clean up.”

“Thanks Mom,” Kenny said. “Come on, Crew,” he said getting up. “Let’s play some video games.”

“I’m too lethargic to play video games,” I whined as I followed him up to his room.

Kenny laughed. “Push through it, Crew. Be a trooper!”

I entered his room and was amazed at everything he had in there. His room was huge! Sure, his parents made a lot of money, but wow! Sixteen-year-olds just don’t have this much stuff. I don’t think even the twins had all of this at his age and they were super spoiled growing up.

He had: a huge flat screen TV hanging on his wall, a DVD player, PS3, giant speakers, a leather couch, a large bed, a walk-in closet, and a computer station complete with a laptop and printer. I even spied a mini-fridge in the corner.

“Wow, it’s like you have your own mini-house in here,” I said with awe.

Kenny grinned. “I know. It used to be two bedrooms but I got them to tear the wall down and convert it to one giant room. It’s awesome, right?”

“Totally! I am so jealous!” I exclaimed as I ran around looking at his things.

He laughed. “You can come here whenever and use my stuff, Crew.”

“Thanks, Kenny,” I said sincerely.

He turned and his pale green eyes met mine. “Ready?” he asked in a challenging tone as he handed me the controller and the television screen lit up.

“Yeah, prepare to get your ass beat.”

“Don’t count on it, old man,” Kenny shot back.

“Old?” I demanded incredulously as he fell backward onto his pillow, laughing wildly.

*************SKYLER*************

“This had better be a good date,” Storm muttered as he handed over Sean and all his baby gear. I hoisted Sean in my arms and smiled in amusement. I didn’t think Storm would be so nervous on a first date. Then again maybe Storm didn’t want to be away from Sean. He had become deeply attached to the little cute lump that was my nephew.

“Nervous? I guess you’ve been out of the dating loop for far too long, eh?” I smirked.

“Shut up, shithead,” Storm said running his fingers through his hair. “You’re one to talk--you’re married to Zeke. What would you do on a first date?”

“Yeah, hit me where it hurts,” I said sarcastically. “You know I’d be awesome on a first date.”

“Whatever. I guess I feel like this is all so soon. I kinda don’t want to leave Sean or lie about him existing. It’s all so new, being a Dad and dating while raising a kid. Now I need to worry what the woman will think about me being a single father. It’s just a shock,” he explained. “I never imagined I would be in this situation.”

I nodded. “Yeah, life is full of surprises. But I know what you mean. Don’t be nervous or worried though, ok? I guess I did kind of bug you to go on this date, but I just thought you needed a break from Mom, Crew, and Sean. I can tell you’re at your wit’s end. I wanted you to have fun, be with another person who wasn’t driving you insane. And she’s hot.” I grinned. “And you’re going to dinner. So a hot girl with a brai, and good food? Come on, that’s just reeking of awesomeness.”

Storm laughed. “Your reasoning is so fucked,” he said. “But I kinda get it too.”

“Just have fun tonight, ok?” I advised. “If you don’t feel any chemistry with her, maybe she’ll become a good friend and you’ll have another person to help baby-sit,” I shrugged.

He chuckled. “Good point.”

“But she’s really hot, so I think you’ll like her.”

“Is it all about looks for you?”

“Yeah,” I answered.

“You’re so shallow.”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” I said. I nudged him toward the door. “Come on--go! Don’t be late. That gives a bad impression on a first date.”

“Wait,” Storm said spinning around. “Bye munchkin,” he said to Sean, kissing his chubby cheeks. Sean stretched his arms out and half hugged Storm. “I love you,” he whispered into Sean’s dusting of dark brown hair. Sean’s tiny hands grasped Storm’s hair tightly. Storm once again looked reluctant to leave.

“He’ll be fine,” I assured Storm. “Now go!”

“I won’t be home too late.” He started toward the door and then spun around. “My baby better be in one piece when I get back. I only have one, you know.”

I rolled my eyes. “So if you had twins, it would be ok if I lost one?”

Storm grinned. “Hmm. Maybe.”

“Oh get out of here!” I said. “Quit stalling or you’ll be late.”

“Call my cell if you need to.” Storm waved and then left.

Twenty-minutes later Zeke came back home with groceries. “Hey baby. And little baby,” he said smiling at me and Sean. I was relaxing on the couch watching reruns of Friends with Sean on my lap, propped against my chest. His head was lying in the crook of my neck. I wasn’t sure if he was sleeping or what, but at least he was alive. Good enough for me.

“Storm already left?” he asked.

“Yup,” I said. Zeke walked over and kissed me briefly, then stood up and looked at me.

“What?” I asked.

“You guys look so cute,” he cooed.

I rolled my eyes. Sean gurgled and started reaching for Zeke. The kid was an attention whore. He wanted attention from everyone who entered the room. He and I were definitely related.

Zeke cocked his head at Sean. “He looks like you.”

“Really?” I asked thoughtfully. “I think he looks like Storm.”

Zeke looked at me like I was an idiot.

I laughed. “Oh wait! Twins. Yeah, you’re right. He does look like me.”

“Loser,” Zeke said as he plopped onto the couch beside me. We watched TV for a bit before he turned to me. “So I was thinking,” he began.

“God!” I exclaimed. “Why would you go and do a thing like that?”

He slapped my chest and I smiled. “Ok, what were you thinking about?”

“I need a change,” Zeke announced.

“A change?” I repeated.

“Well, sort of.”

“Ok…what does that mean?”

“I think I want to go back to school,” he said.

“What?” I nearly shouted. “Are you crazy?!!?”

“What?” he asked with confusion.

“We’re done with school, free of all that crap: going to class, sitting in lectures, staying awake, taking notes, studying. Why would you want to go through that again?” I asked quite seriously.

Zeke laughed at my outburst. “It wasn’t that bad.”

I shuddered. “If you say so. But I never knew you wanted to get a Masters.”

“It was always on my mind. I never had concrete plans for it, but it was always a possibility. Nowadays it never hurts to have more education,” he pointed out.

“That’s true,” I murmured.

“I was actually looking at some colleges,” he went on.

I raised my brow. “Already? Wow, I guess you are pretty serious about this.”

He smiled. “Just checking stuff out. I was planning to talk to you first.”

I nodded, feeling slightly relieved. “Any good places in mind?”

“Yeah,” he paused. “It’s kind of a party school,” Zeke admitted sheepishly.

I laughed. “That’s the real reason why you want to go to graduate school? Please, you’re with me! You can have a party every night without paying a dime,” I teased nudging him.

He smacked my arm. “I’m serious. UCSB looks really fun. The campus is beautiful.”

“Santa Barbara?” I asked.

Zeke nodded. “I love the area. My aunt has a home there. Remember the summer when Crew and I went down there? It was the best. I would love to go there for school. If I plan to go to school anyway, I may as well go somewhere nice, without all this crappy four season weather.”

“I guess so. How long is the econ program?”

“A year,” he replied.

“That’s not bad, but I’ll miss you. A whole year with just my hand,” I said grinning. “Or shower, depending on the setting,” I smirked. That was my usual line whenever someone asked what I did when Zeke wasn’t around to “take care” of me.

He shook his head. “Can’t you take anything seriously?”

“Don’t you know me?” I shot back and he cracked up.

“Oh right, my bad,” Zeke said rolling his eyes. “Well, it will cost about thirty grand, and I can get a loan. That’s as far as I got in the thought process of this whole school-thing.”

“I want you to do whatever makes you happy. If going to school AGAIN is what does it for you, well, that’s your cup of tea,” I said, giving him an overly dramatic funny look.

Zeke laughed and edged closer to me, kissing my neck. “I still don’t know about it though. I hate to be apart from you for an entire year. We just finished that whole ‘visiting on breaks’ sort of thing. I’m not sure I want to jump right back into that, especially when we have something pretty good going on.”

“You can’t revolve your whole life around our relationship,” I pointed out. “I’ll miss you too, but we’ll have to make it work, if that’s what you choose to do.”

Zeke snuggled against me. “Yeah,” he breathed out. He became quiet and I rested comfortably beside him. I felt Sean stirring and I adjusted him in my lap and rubbed his head. He made his usual baby noises, but within seconds, he was calm once again.

“Hey Sky?”

“Hmm?”

“Would you go with me?” he asked hesitantly.

I turned to look at Zeke. “What?” I asked.

“If I applied to grad school and got in, would you go with me?”

“Like move to California with you?”

He shrugged. “Well, yeah, you could get an apartment and a job or something. We could still see each other. But actually, I had something else in mind,” he peeked at me.

“Spit it out already,” I said impatiently.

“Would you be willing to go to school with me? As in- apply, get accepted, go to classes, and dorm with me?”

I stared at him in shock. I hadn’t expected Zeke to come up with this. “Are you serious?”

Zeke studied me and then nodded slowly. “Yeah, but you know, umm, it was just a thought. I was just throwing the idea out there. You know, it just popped into my head just now. It wasn’t really serious. Or I hadn’t given it serious thought, so-”

“Zeke, you’re rambling. You’re becoming Crew,” I smiled.

Zeke grinned and some of the tension disappeared from his face. “I know, but I feel bad. I mean, you hate school. You just said you did and here I go asking if you’ll come along with me. Not just living in the same state as me, but actually going to school with me. God, I’m so selfish.”

I grabbed his hand. “Stop it. You’re not. Hey.” He looked at me. “I can’t really blame you for asking. Why wouldn’t you want me with you all the time?” I grinned.

Zeke retracted his hand and swatted my head gently. “Forget I asked.”

We went back to watching TV.

I did some thinking.

Yeah, I’d miss Zeke like crazy. Yeah, it would suck to have a long distance relationship for a year when we just moved in together. Yeah, I wanted to make Zeke happy. Yeah, I wanted to be with him. But school was so horrible and I was so lazy.

Dilemma.

Five minutes later I let out a huge drawn out sigh.

He looked at me curiously. “You ok?”

“Here’s the deal,” I began and his frown deepened. “You do all the research. You tell me what I need to do. Everything- from the GREs to forms, statements and recommendations, loans and whatever-” I paused and took a breath. “Then I’m in.”

“Huh?” Zeke asked his mouth falling open. He took a minute to process what I said. “Wait, you’ll do it? You’ll go back to school? For me?”

I dropped my head. “Yes,” I groaned. “Don’t keep saying it! I might change my mind!”

Zeke looked stunned, then began laughing. “I’m touched, Sky, I really am. But as much as I love you, and want you to go with me, I don’t want you to do it if you’re going to be absolutely miserable. That would make me really sad.”

I grabbed his shirt and tugged him closer. “Listen, the idea of going back to school never even crossed my mind until you brought it up. And I don’t really want to be away from you for a whole year, especially when we’re finally living in the same state!”

Zeke smiled.

“Who knows? This could be another adventure. I’m always up for an adventure. And I do remember being rather jealous of you and Crew when you guys went off to California for the summer.”

“Are you really sure about this?” he stressed.

I smiled. “If it means I’ll be with you, then yeah, I’m sure,” I said without missing a beat.

His face exploded into a huge grin and he wrapped both hands around my neck, planting a hard kiss on my lips.

“You’re the best!” he exclaimed. “How come you’re so wonderful?” he asked as he covered my face with kisses.

“I don’t know- I just am!” I laughed. “Settle down, crazy. You’re disturbing the baby.”

Zeke’s eyes were sparkling and I couldn’t help smiling at him.

“No, Sean’s happy for us, too,” he laughed as he kissed Sean’s cheek. “Aren’t you baby? Aren’t you? Yes, you are,” he cooed.

Sean shook his little head and smiled. Zeke pinched Sean’s nose, causing him to squeal and kick his tiny legs around. Zeke laughed before placing a big kiss on the baby’s forehead.

“You know, I already have my own Masters,” I said grinning.

“Huh? What?” Zeke asked with confusion, looking up at me.

“Yeah, you! Zeke Masters!”

Zeke burst out laughing and he closed his eyes. “Oh my God! Did you just say that?”

“Apparently so,” I quipped.

“You are so lame. Do you get worse with age?” he mocked.

I pounced on him gently, and we burst into a fit of giggles and messy kisses while Sean was squished between the two of us, squirming and whining.

*************HIRO************

“Did you have fun with Jarett?” Patty teased as he sat in my kitchen Tuesday afternoon.

I looked at him pointedly which caused him to burst out in loud laughter.

“Oh come on! I saw you all night, staring at him. He noticed it too and was staring right back. I didn’t know you went for guys,” Patty said leaning back in his chair. “You look totally straight. Not macho, but definitely masculine. No girly things going on, you know?”

“It’s not something I usually broadcast,” I said smiling. “Being gay doesn’t turn a guy into a woman, so I don’t really get that whole ‘looking straight’ thing.”

“So you like Jarett?” he asked ignoring my comment.

I shook my head. “He just reminds me of someone special.”

Patty looked curious. “Oh yeah, who? An old boyfriend?”

“No,” I said slowly, trying to sort out my thoughts. “My boyfriend. Now.”

His eyebrows shot up comically. “Your boyfriend? You’re shitting me! You have a boyfriend? Right now? How come I’ve never met him? How come you’re never with him? Shit! What kind of relationship is that if you’re never with the guy?”

I opened my mouth to reply, but closed it, not knowing how to explain myself.

“It’s hard to explain,” I said rubbing my eyes.

“How?” Patty asked.

“He and I, well, we’re in a difficult place right now,” I said carefully.

“Like what? Trying to get over a rough patch?” Patty inquired.

“Sort of.”

“Don’t want to talk about it?” he asked.

“Not really,” I said honestly. “It’s a little too much for me.”

“Fine, ok,” Patty said picking up his pencil. “But you look like you could use some cheering up; wanna come to a club with me and my friends this weekend?”

“I’m not sure,” I hesitated. “Clubbing isn’t really my thing.”

“Oh Hiro, anything fun-related isn’t your thing,” he sighed dramatically. “I had to drag you to the movies and you had fun. Had some great eye candy to look at, too.”

I shot him a look and he instantly stopped laughing.

“Relax Hiro. I just invite you because I consider you my friend. I see you as much as my actual friends,” Patty said. “If not more.”

I smiled. “That’s because you never do any work, your grades suck, and you need me to get into college.”

“True, but there is such a thing as having a friend-out-of-necessity,” Patty pointed out smirking.

I shook my head. “You have the strangest thought process.”

“Whatever,” he said dismissively. “Think about it at least? The club?”

“I can do that,” I answered sincerely.

**************

I was regretting my decision to go to the club. It definitely wasn’t my scene. I was sweating too much for my own good. The music was too loud; the place was too crowded.

Plus I was getting aroused and feeling ridiculously guilty about that.

Upon my arrival Jarett had taken it upon himself to be attached to me all night long. We had some drinks and then we were dancing. I couldn’t seem to shake him off me. And as terrible as it sounded, I didn’t really want to shake him off.

I was torn.

He was dancing close, practically on top of me, his hands roaming my back and waist, his bright blue eyes staring me down seductively. Even though I was very much in love with Crew, the close proximity of a Crew-look-alike touching me made the blood rush to my nether region.

I saw the sheen of sweat on his face as he smiled, grinding into me. His grin widened when he undoubtedly felt my hard member.

I pushed him off me, gently prying his hands loose. I started heading to the bar. Then I saw the sign for the men’s room and detoured over there. I had to calm myself down and get my head on straight before I did something I might regret.

Five minutes later, Jarett entered the bathroom and saw me leaning over the sink, staring at my reflection. He walked over and frowned.

“Are you ok?” he asked, placing his hand on my lower back. “What’s wrong?”

I stood up and splashed cold water on my face. “It just got too…hot…back there.”

Jarett grinned. “That’s the idea. I thought we were having a good time,” he said, tracing his finger down my abdomen slowly. I grabbed his hand and placed it away from me. His frown deepened.

“I can’t,” I breathed out in frustration. “I can’t do anything with you. I’m sorry.”

“Why not?” he asked edging closer. “You obviously feel something for me.”

I groaned. “Jarett, it’s not like that.”

“Then what is it?” he asked. “You don’t like me? I find that hard to believe. You’ve sure been flirting and staring at me an awful lot.”

“I know,” I admitted. “It’s just that…you look a lot like my boyfriend. We’re kind of having some troubles at the moment,” I explained, looking down at my hands.

Jarett rested his hand on his hip. “Having troubles? That’s just code for ‘about to breakup’. Why don’t you just end it and stop dangling that shit along?”

“You don’t understand!” I exploded in frustration. Jarett jumped back slightly. My jaw was clenched angrily. My eyes narrowed into slits.

“We’re not about to breakup! We’re still together. We’re going to work through this. We’re going to be together, like we’re supposed to!” I burst out. I was breathing hard, trying to control my emotions.

Jarett’s eyes were wide open and his mouth formed an ‘O’. I hadn’t spent that much time with him; but when we were together, I was quiet and reserved, even soft spoken. I certainly knew where this outburst was coming from: between my own doubts about my relationship with Crew, Patty asking me, and then Jarett, I felt like I was being grilled for answers I didn’t have upfront.

After breathing hard for about a whole minute, I managed to calm down.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell,” I said apologetically. “I’m just a little stressed.”

“I can tell,” Jarett said. He studied me. “I like you, Hiro.”

I remained silent since I didn’t know what to say to that.

“But I don’t go after guys who are messed up in the head,” Jarett said ruefully. I smiled slightly. “So I say, let’s just be friends?” he offered. “You can never have too many friends.”

“Thanks Jarett, but there’s more to it than that,” I said. “You actually resemble him a lot. The hair, the eyes, the rosy cheeks, the lips…” I trailed off, my eyes lingering on his full red pout.

I shook my head of those thoughts. It was hard though, being without Crew for so long. It was as if I was so desperate to be with Crew that I was willing to substitute him. That thought made me feel awful.

“So that’s why you’ve been staring so hard at me,” Jarett said with a grin. “I get it now.”

I nodded. “Yeah. I haven’t seen my boyfriend in awhile, so I guess it was nice looking at you,” I said sheepishly.

Jarett laughed. “Glad I could be of use, even if it’s just my pretty mug.”

I bit my lip and stared at the mirror.

“Don’t let this bother you. We’re just having fun, hanging out. We’re friends. Come on, let’s just dance, ok?” Jarett said. “I promise to behave myself. I won’t try to kiss you.”

“What about the dancing?”

“How do you mean?” he asked innocently.

“Come on! You’re grinding me and hugging me and grabbing me. It’s getting me hot.”

“Really?” he asked, widening his eyes. “I had no idea,” he said sweetly.

“You’re such a liar. You’re doing that on purpose,” I accused.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” he teased, winking at me.

When I didn’t answer him, he grabbed my wrist and yanked me out of the bathroom. I hesitated slightly, but he was insistent and pulled harder. I knew if I tried, I could have easily resisted him. But instead, I went along. After all, it was just dancing. There was no harm in just dancing.

Yet the doubts crept in once again when Jarett grabbed my hips roughly and started gyrating directly on my crotch, while smiling up at me the entire time.

I sighed. What was I going to do?

 

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