U-N-I - 27. Chapter 27

"Mark, come on, get in here, we gotta go soon!" Rob called from the bathroom in our L.A hotel suite.

We were now six months into the tour. We had a couple of days off in Los Angeles before playing two gigs at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena.We had arrived on Tuesday and it was now Thursday September 19, the day we were to be interviewed by Ellen Degeneres.

"Just give me a half hour, if I don't finish this now, I'm gonna regret it. I only need like five minutes to get ready."

"More like fifty!" he joked.

He walked over to me and looked at the many sheets of paper that were scattered on the floor all around me to find a spot where to sit.

"Why don't you make Jordan happy and take him with you," I said as he crunched down next to me, "and then I can spend the whole day writing music and you'll make me happy too!" I smiled, knowing that trying to get out of it was a losing battle. Plus if I was honest with myself, I wanted to go just as much as I wanted to stay.

"This is so good, can I play the intro to you? Just the intro, cause I've changed it a bit!" I asked.

"Sure," he said and I began strumming my acoustic.

"This is brilliant babe!" he said admiringly when I finished playing. "I gotta admit you really are riding a creative wave since we've been here. I'd love to tell you to stay here and keep writing – but I also know that you'll have more time later," he said and kissed my cheek.

"Please, can you get ready? I really want you to come with me."
I smiled.

"You have to get out of this room, it's Ellen, it's gonna be fun," he insisted then held out his hand to help me up.

"Yeah, of course, I'll come with you," I said as I put my guitar down and grabbed his outstretched hand.

---

A few hours later, we were both walking on the set of the Ellen show.

Rob hugged Ellen first.

“It’s so good to have you here,” she told him, “it’s been so long!”

“Yes, it’s good to be back,” he responded.

Then I gave her a quick hug as well.

“Oh my god, you smell so good,” she said to me with her usual cheerfulness.

I smiled before sitting down next to Rob on the sofa.

“See? Told you showering was a good idea,” he smiled and winked.

“Oh, really, ‘cos you don’t normally shower?” she asked playfully.

“Ellen, we’ve been in L.A since Tuesday and it’s the first time he’s left our hotel room. I almost came here with Jordan, our bass player!”

“Oh!” she said and looked at me, “Well, thank you for being here, I’m glad you decided to come!”

“You’re welcome,” I simply replied.

“So, why won’t you leave the hotel room?” she asked me, intrigued.

“Ghosts,” Rob said matter-of-factly.

“Ghosts?” she repeated, looking at him.

“That’s what he says," Rob shrugged, amused.

I smiled. “Yeah, I can’t explain it. Ever since we’ve walked into the room, I haven’t been able to do anything else besides write music. There’s such an amazing energy. I don’t know who’s written music in there, or who died in there….”

“You should see the state of the room,” Rob interrupted me, “it’s like a song writer exploded in there.” he said and I laughed out loud, “and I can’t let room service in ‘cause he won’t let me!’

“Why won’t you let him?” she asked with a grin.

“Cause they might throw something away,” I answered, as if it was obvious why.

“Why would they throw anything away?” Rob said.

I turned to him,

“They might mess with my system. There’ll be nobody messing with the system.”

He gazed at me with a smirk for a second,

“Wait, have you just quoted Monica Geller?” he asked.

"I have. See, I love that you got that reference,” I told him and he smiled proudly, then spoke to Ellen.

“I almost shared a picture this morning.”

“You should have!” she exclaimed, “Now, we wanna see!”

The audience cheered.

“Hang on,” he said, pulled out his phone and after just a few seconds posted the picture.

I laughed,

“You gotta be kidding me.”

“So how many songs have you written?” Ellen asked me.

“I'm not sure, three, maybe four,” I answered.

“In two days?” she exclaimed, impressed.

“And I’ve played pool,” Rob said nonchalantly.

I put my hand on his shoulder and laughed.

“I don’t know what he needs me for,” he said to Ellen jokingly.

“To tell him when it’s time to shower,” Ellen told Rob.

“We’re sound-checking at the Rose Bowl later so we’re definitely not going back to the hotel.”

I shrugged,

“Sleep is overrated.”

“You’re pulling an all-nighter?”

I didn’t answer as the photograph appeared on the screen behind Ellen.

“Oh ok! I see what you mean.” she said to Rob, “So, if I look up the word ‘creativity’ in the dictionary, I’m sure I’ll find this picture!”

“Or organised mess,” I interrupted.

“That’s right, Monica!” Rob teased playfully and everyone laughed.

“Aw,” Ellen said happily, “I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve missed having you guys here! Haven’t we missed them?” she asked the audience.

Rob leaned closer to her,

“Yeah, well, you might see a lot more of us, cause apparently we’re moving to L.A… indefinitely.”

“Julia Roberts? Notting Hill?” I asked.

He nodded.

“Yeah. I gotta say, our references are on point today,” I smiled and we high-fived before I added, “Wouldn’t that be cool though?”

“What? Moving to L.A?” he asked skeptically.

“Yeah!”

“What happened to ‘we’re never leaving London?’"

“We might have to, you know, for creativity’s sake,” I said and Ellen smiled at us.

He huffed a laugh,

“Alright, I’ll tell you what, if you get one more reference, then we can come back and rent that room again.”

I furrowed my brows,

“Like, when?”

He gave it a thought but Ellen spoke before he did,

“Yeah, cause you’ll keep touring til the end of 2020, won't you?” she asked.

“We will,” Rob nodded, doing a bit of promotion, “We’ll finish the fourth leg of the tour in New Zealand and Australia at the end of this year. Plus Dylan, our piano player, is getting married there right after our last show of the tour," he said, kinda whispering, as if it was a secret only for Ellen to know, “and then we’re gonna take a small break before we start touring South America next April. Then we’ll play Europe, Canada and the States again."

"And we're releasing an EP in a few weeks too, so we'll incorporate new songs into the shows,” I added.

“Really, you are? You never stop writing new music, do you?"

I laughed. "No, I don't think the process ever stops. We're always motivated to get better and work harder and be the best we can be and we love it, so - there's always new ideas – or even ideas that've been left behind, which need to be picked up and worked on. When we're recording, there's always songs that get finished but they don't make it to the album for one reason or another, and we had plenty of those to make a great EP."

"Yeah," Rob confirmed. "I don't think we've ever walked into the studio with absolutely nothing. When we start recording an album, we always have ideas and then we always try to go further in the music that we're doing and be as progressive as possible."

"So when this tour ends, will you go back straight into the studio and start recording your next album?"

"Oh, we don't know," I replied. "We don't see that far ahead. It's difficult to say what we'll do. It might be something very different."

"Why?" she asked.

"Because, with this tour, and our last album, and the EP we're about to release," I began explaining, talking with my hands a lot, "it really feels like we've come to the end of a chapter – like we've accomplished what we had set to do when we started the band. You know, we got to where we'd always wanted to be and so now, whatever we do next, it will feel like the beginning of a new chapter, and it's kind of a blank page for now."

Rob nodded and added,

"But for now, we just want to enjoy the tour. We’re having so much fun that we really don’t want it to end.”

“I bet you are. The shows are so incredible,” she nodded. “if you haven’t been to one of their shows yet, then I highly recommend that you do, you’re gonna be dazzled,” she said to her audience, which responded enthusiastically.

"It must be so much fun standing up there playing your music," she said.

"Oh yeah it is!" I answered. "The feeling before we walk on stage is always so intense, it's a great moment, it's such a thrill!"

"For you it is!" Rob joked. "For me, it's more like a wave of anxiety washes over me just before walking on," he said and paused.

"But yeah then when the lights go down, it's like something whooshes through you and it feels great, there's nothing like it. It's a very addictive feeling – to play live, which is why we keep adding more dates for 2020, we can't get enough of it!"

"Yeah, 2020 is gonna be another great year!” I said.

Rob locked eyes with me and then said, “plus we’ll be turning thirty in 2020." He wiggled his brows, “that means ‘huge party’!”

“Do you remember when we were 20,” I said to him, "and it was 2010 and we were like, oh, wouldn’t it have been cool to turn twenty in 2020!”

He laughed,

“Yeah! It would’ve been cool. But 2010 was still a great year too!”

“It was deadly,” Rob said, reminiscing.

“Deadly?” Ellen asked, not sure what he meant.

Rob nodded,

“Yeah, I speak Irish. Do you not have that word?"

"No," she said.

"Mortel!" I added.

"Yeah," Rob snapped his fingers. "same word in French."

"I'm confused, I speak American," Ellen said and we laughed.

"But yeah, everything was so fun, and new, and exciting," Rob said looking me in the eye.

"Yeah, it was an awesome year, good memories,” I confirmed.

She smiled,

“I love how you guys keep being amazed by your success and your life, I think that’s a real quality.”

“Yes of course we’re amazed.” Rob replied enthusiactically. “You know why we’re amazed? Because it’s amazing!” he laughingly exclaimed.

She laughed,

"Even after all this time of being a band, are you still as close as you were at the beginning, the five of you? It hasn't changed?"

Rob answered before I could,

"No, no, we're good. It's actually something that we've understood from the start about our band, that we all need to like each other, and we all need to be happy to function as a band, musically, and as a group of friends. Because a couple of years ago, we used to work so much, touring, then going straight back into the studio, writing music that wasn't any good because we were just trying to make a record that people expected of us - and that's when we started to lose it a bit..."

I nodded and continued,

"Yeah, and now we're trying really hard to make sure that we write music just for ourselves and that no one hits their breaking point in the band... Like with the tour we're doing now we're really trying to figure out how long we can tour before one of us starts to burn out; like, how many shows we can do in a row, for Rob's voice too."

Rob spoke too,

"Yeah, after over 10 years of doing this job we've accumulated knowledge about our limits, especially on tour, and what we need to do to remain friends."

"And to stay married," I joked and we laughed.

Ellen smiled,

Do you find that it's an advantage to be a couple and to experience this together?"

"Uh – that depends I guess," Rob said. "It's been difficult at times but it's also made us a lot stronger as a couple."

"Yeah, definitely," I continued, "and now, as a band we just try to make sure everyone's heard and listened to and we communicate a lot more than we used to, and it works because – even though we all have different personalities, we have the same ambitions, and goals, and at the end of the day, when it comes to the band, we're as one."

"Are there groups within the bands though? Like, the two of you on one side and…."

"No there are no groups," Rob shook his head, interrupting the question.

"But if there were though," I shook my head no with a chuckle, "it wouldn't be what you think. It'd be more like me and Dylan on one side, like being super conscientious and working hard…"

"And me and Jordan on the other," Rob continued, knowing what I'd say, "just having fun and ruining all your hard work."

I nodded, "and Damon would be kind of navigating the middle with Rachel, wouldn't he?"

"Yeah…," Rob nodded, letting out a small chuckle. "So there are groups."

Everyone laughed and after a short pause, she spoke,

"How hard is it to date Robbie Myers?" Ellen asked me.

"Uh – it's not, I, I don't – I don't date him," I mumbled, shaking my head.

Rob laughed and Ellen looked at me with a confused look.

"You don't?"

"No, he's not allowed around me," I said.

"You broke up with him, didn't you?" Rob asked me.

"I did, I did break up with him," I nodded.

"He has to stay out of the relationship now," Rob joked.

She laughed and seemed to understand what we meant.

So, that’s it!” she clasped her hands together and gave us a long stare. “You guys are a married couple now!”

“We are indeed!” Rob nodded, smiling.

She smiled back at him,

“That wedding,” she said with a happy sigh, “Can we watch it?” she asked, “Have you seen it?” she asked the audience, “Can we watch it?” she asked us again, kind of begging.

“No, we can’t!” I said while everyone was still clapping.

“No? We can’t?” Ellen repeated, “He said we can’t.” she pouted, “It was beautiful, so, congratulations. You brought tears to everyone’s eyes, you certainly brought tears to my eyes.”

“Yeah, thank you,” I said kindly.

“Look, we’re all so glad that you two are happy and married, and now, evidently, you’re gonna continue producing music and making your millions of fans very happy.”

“That’s the plan,” I agreed.

After a short pause, she said,

“Now, let’s talk about the wedding for a moment! Because I was actually very surprised, and I think everyone was, that it happened the way that it did.”

“Yeah, so was I,” Rob told her with a grin.

“So were you?!” she exclaimed with a small laugh, placing her hand over his, “Was it really a surprise for you, you weren't expecting it at all?" Rob shook his head no and she continued, "Which was incredible. Plus, you two usually keep your relationship quite private and I know you like to control what you share on social media and you’re uncomfortable with flaunting your relationship in public so it was - wonderful to be able to witness such a special moment in your life,” she told us with a lot of emotion.

“Yes,” Rob nodded, putting his arm around my shoulders, “it was a very special moment for the both of us and we wouldn’t change a thing,” he said.

He placed a small kiss on my cheek and squeezed my shoulder before taking his arm away.

"Yes, It was wonderful. And can I just ask? Sorry if I'm spoiling," she said to her audience then spoke to us, "I've especially loved that you had a ribbon wrapped and tied around your hands. Was that an Irish thing to do? I'd never seen that before."

"Yes, it's actually called a hand-fasting," I answered, "and it's, like, an ancient Celtic tradition."

"Yes, he just modernized it a bit," Rob added with a grin, since a rainbow ribbon had been used.

"And the song," she said talking to the audience, "so beautiful and unique. Might just surpass 'Marry You' by Bruno Mars," she said with a smile.

"Without the dancing then," I joked.

"And the theatre too!" she exclaimed. "I have to stop enumerating everything that was so beautiful about that wedding…"

"Yeah, I would've never done this in a huge arena," I said to her.

"Of course, no, it was the perfect place, and it's a beautiful theater - in your home town, too," Ellen said.

"Yeah. We don't play small theatres that often anymore," I said, looking at Rob. "But we love it though. The sound and the atmosphere is so different in a smaller venue. I really wanted the audience to feel like they were a part of it, you know."

"I think they were. They definitely were," she smiled and then she announced,

"So, now that you're married – and if it’s alright with you, and since you two are, in my opinion, way too secretive...," she said jokingly and Rob laughed.

"Well, I know that you get a lot of paparazzi attention," she added, "which you understandably resent, I understand that but – if it’s alright with you,” she repeated, “I’d like to play the Newlywed Game.”

"The Newlywed Game, really?" Rob said again. "Come on Ellen, you know us. We do think it’s important to keep some stuff to ourselves but we can definitely talk too much.”

“Yeah, I know. Should be fun,” she said in a way that implied she wasn’t giving us a choice.

I loved that woman. She handed us a pad and a black pen and kept talking, giving us no time to argue.

“So, what I have here,” she said, holding white cards, “are things that your fans have always wanted to know but never dared ask and I’m just gonna place these out in front of you and ask you to read the questions aloud to each other.”

“Alright," Rob said, “How many vetoes can we use?”

“Uh,” she thought. “one!”

“That’s it? Jesus, we’re in trouble, babe,” he said to me as he picked out the first card and read,

“Who proposed to whom?”

We wrote the answer and turned the boards around. Rob had written,

‘‘Me, three times!”

“You proposed three times?” Ellen asked Rob.

“Yeah, I’m persistent,” he joked.

“Does that mean you said no twice?” she asked me.

I laughed,

“Technically, I didn’t say no. Plus, he didn’t actually say the words ‘will you marry me?’ the first time.”

“Well, yeah, cause I knew you’d freak out,” he laughed.

I chuckled,

“Yeah, I wasn’t ready,” I told Ellen playfully as I picked out another white card on which the question was, ‘How many tattoos do I have?’

We wrote seven. We actually had both gotten one more just a few weeks before.

We then continued answering questions such as, “Who said I love you first?”, “What’s my favorite song to cover?’’, “What’s my idea of a perfect date night?” "What's my favourite drink?" "Who was my first celebrity crush?"

Rob looked thoughtful as he tried to find an answer to that last question.

"I wish I'd paid attention when you were talking to me about girls," he said with both regret and playfulness.

I laughed out loud.

He turned his board. He had written Kylie Minogue.

I nodded. I did fancy her.

"Yeah. Could've been your first clue," he joked.

I nodded with a laugh as he picked a new card and read out,

“Um, what do I fancy most about you?”

Rob smiled and thought about it for a second. As we began writing on the board, I leaned closer to him,

“Do not say my butt.”

He turned to look at me,

“Ohhh,” he complained and erased his board with the back of his hand.

Everyone laughed,

"Kidding," he said, laughing with them.

I thought about what Rob fancied about me and what he might write and then I wrote the word "Passion."

He turned his board around, he’d written ‘Creativity’, which was pretty much the same.

“Creativity, uh?” Ellen gave a slight frown and tilted her head. “Well, we saw the room…”

Rob laughed,

“Yeah, definitely creativity. All jokes aside, I love how creative he gets. There are many, many reasons why I love him,” he said, looking at me briefly, “and I think that his creative side is kind of a bonus, but at the same time, I’m not sure I could be with someone who’s not creative and passionate, ‘cause that creative passion is something I’m super attracted to. I mean, really, I could watch him play and write for hours. I’m like… hypnotized. I love that.”

We looked at each other with a smile.

“That’s so sweet,” Ellen said to me, “is he gonna get it tonight?”

“Yeah, he’s gonna get it tonight!” I confirmed, sniggering

“What would you have answered?” she asked me.

“Uhhm…, probably something like ‘Charisma’.” I said, gazing at Rob, “He’s got like a kind of energy about him that I love, a magnetic sort of energy…. which is why people can’t help but love him I think. He’s got one of those personalities that draws people in… and because he’s got such a big heart and he’s funny and he makes me laugh and well, many other personal reasons…,’ I concluded.

Rob giggled and picked another card.

“What is my greatest accomplishment as an artist?

He wrote,

“Playing Glastonbury” and I wrote, “The Grammy Awards’’

“Oh, yeah,” he said, snapping his fingers, “true. I could’ve answered that.”

“Yeah. And now that I think about it, I’d also add all the organizations that we work with, especially LGBTQIA+. It’s great to be able to help people and make a difference into their lives,” I explained.

Rob agreed, "yes, we've always said that we didn't want to become, like, gay activists – but it's important to play our part and help as much as we can."

Ellen nodded,

"What do you say to people who say that you're a gay band?"

"We say it's true," Rob laughed and I did too. "We may not all be gay in the band but the music we make is definitely about - how we feel," he said and looked at me briefly, "so yeah, we've never denied that you know, we do have a large gay following and a lot of female fans and sensitive men who like us and we're not afraid of having an emotional connection with our audience..."

I agreed with a nod. "Yes, and we love all people - and even though we're not loved by – all people – it's okay because the people who do love us are probably among the best citizens in the world you know, they're fantastic. They are so dedicated and protective of us and loyal, and we love them, so yeah, we are a gay band and that's totally fine!" I concluded and Rob picked another question.

“What’s my favourite workout song?”

“Oh, shit, that one’s impossible. Do you even have a favourite?

“I don’t know, let’s take a wild guess,” he answered and we obviously wrote different songs so we didn’t get that point but started a conversation on the subject.

“I just love listening to music while running, it’s just the best way to pump yourself during a run,” Rob said.

“Where do you run? On the treadmill or outside ?” Ellen asked.

“Honestly, running on the treadmill is kinda miserable but I can’t always run outside, it depends on where we are.”

“Yeah, he runs the risk of turning into Forest Gump".

He stared at me.

“I believe that was another reference!” I said, smartly.

“I believe it was,” he agreed.

Another high-five.

Ellen smiled. “Now that you have to come back to L.A," she said to Rob, "I hope we'll see you again on the show,” Ellen said.

“Of course. You know we love coming here,” he said as I picked another card.

“Oooh.”

“Veto?” he asked.

“Um, what the hell, it’s a sexy question?” I shrugged and looked into his eyes, “What do I have to do to get you in the mood?”

His lips turned into a naughty smile and we began writing.

As we turned the boards around, Rob read mine and chuckled,

“Get shirtless.”

“What d’you write?” I asked and read his aloud,

“Cook? Yeah…”

“Cook shirtless!” he exclaimed and added the word ‘shirtless’ onto his board, “There, cook shirtless and he gets laid for sure,” he told Ellen.

“That’s all it takes?” Ellen asked me.

“That’s all it takes!” I confirmed.

“Well, yeah, he’s hot and I like good food,” Rob said nonchalantly.

“Is he a good cook?” Ellen asked.

“He’s a very good cook,” Rob replied. "He can pretty much do anything in the kitchen."

"Yeah, I can do anything in the kitchen." I smiled. "Any-thing," I added naughtily.

Rob laughed and Ellen picked up the naughty vibe.

"I don’t think we’ve ever seen you shirtless.”

I let out a small laugh,

“Oh, I’m sure there are a couple of pictures showing both of us shirtless on a beach somewhere.”

“Are there?”

The audience confirmed that there weren’t any. There were some, I knew, but I played along.

“Gotta leave them wondering.”

“I’m just saying, we’ve seen Robbie shirtless a countless number of times, so…,” she raised her eyebrows.

“So?” I repeated.

“He won’t take his shirt off that easily, Ellen!” Rob laughed.

She pulled a fifty banknote out of her pocket and smiled,

“I’ll give you fifty bucks if you take you shirt off!”

I looked at Rob briefly and then back at Ellen.

“Oh ok!” I shrugged nonchalantly and stood up to take my tee off.

The audience cheered, laughed and clapped. I dropped my tee-shirt on the floor and took the note from her hand as she handed it to me.

“I wouldn’t mind having this in my kitchen!” Ellen said to Rob, checking me out.

“Hey, I’m not complaining!” Rob responded.

“This is nice,” Ellen said to the audience, “Don’t you think they should play all of their concerts shirtless from now on.”

“Nah, the guitar strap, like, hurts my skin!” I said, then I shoved the note into my jeans pocket and said to Rob as I sat back down, “easiest fifty bucks I’ve ever made.”

Rob stared at me, amused,

“Who are you?” he asked playfully.

“And what did you do with my boyfriend?” I finished his sentence.

He raised his eyebrows at me.

“Boyfriend?” he asked assertively. “Boyfriend?” he repeated.

I kept a straight face and stared into his eyes,

“Yeah, ‘cos I’m your husband now!”

His lips formed a small smile,

“Nice save,” he said and I waited for him to look back at Ellen.

She had that cheeky smile on her face and I just grimaced, which made her smile more.

Rob picked my tee-shirt up and placed it over my chest,

“Put this back on,” he said jokingly as he pretended to hide my torso with it.

I did and he picked another card.

“Jeez, it’s getting hot in here!” he said sexily and read the question.

“What is my favorite time to have sex?” he asked.

I nodded,

“Yeah, I think I would’ve used my veto on this one,” I laughed, pulling my tee shirt over my stomach.

He raised his brows at me and pretended to start writing to see whether or not I wanted to answer.

“Well, actually,” I said, snapping my fingers, “I know what my favorite time to have sex is,” I said, “cause it’s your least favorite time to have sex.”

Rob frowned and placed his hand over his chest,

“I have a least favorite time to have sex?” he asked dubiously.

I nodded, chuckling.

He thought about it.

“Ohhh… yeah ok, I’m giving it a go,” he said and began writing.

“So, apparently,” Ellen said to the camera, “we’re changing the question to what is Robbie’s least favorite time to have sex.”

We laughed and turned our boards around. We had both written,

“Middle of the night.”

“Yeah, when I’m already sleeping,” Rob said.

“C’mon, it’s a nice way to be woken up!” I exclaimed.

“Yeah, it’s a great way to be woken up, when it’s like… at least 9am, ‘cause you know when is a good time to have sex… any other time of the day, literally, any other time!”

“Slut,” I joked.

“Ellen’s having fun right now,” he said as he looked at her smiling.

We laughed and she smiled wickedly before saying,

“Only two more left.”

Rob picked the last of my cards and read,

“When did I know I was gay?”

I had to think about it for a second.

“You know what,” I told Rob, “I don’t think I can answer that for you. I can definitely answer that for myself though.”

“Yeah,” he shook his head softly, “me neither. There’s really no specific moment. I mean, I remember having so many boy crushes growing up, but I can’t say - this is when I knew!”

I nodded.

“Yeah, I understand that,” Ellen said, then looked at me.

“Yeah. It was different for me. I think I knew that I was gay when I realised I’d fallen in love with you,” I said, looking at Rob, “’Cause I was happy being with girls, and having a girlfriend.” I explained to Ellen, “But then, when we got together - it felt … different, the connection was different and when I kind of allowed myself to acknowledge my feelings then, something just clicked in my head, and . . . I knew.”

Rob gave me a sweet smile.

“Alright, the last one,” he said as he picked the last remaining card.

“How many kids do I want?” he asked, chuckling.

“Have we had this conversation?” I asked under my breath.

In fact, the subject would sometimes come up when we were chatting with friends.

I wrote “one or two” and Rob had written “one.”

“Just one?” Ellen asked.

“That’s more than you want,” Rob told Ellen jokingly.

“I love kids,” she responded. “I absolutely love kids, I think kids are our future, other people’s kids!”

We laughed.

“So, you’d like to have kids?” she asked.

“Maybe, yeah,” I answered, “I know some artists do it, but if I ever have a kid, I want to be totally available, and right now our career takes so much space that I can’t imagine how a child could even fit into our lives.”

“Yeah, we’ll see when the other three have kids, how that will work,” Rob added.

“You imagine Jordan having kids anytime soon?” I asked Rob, raising an eyebrow.

He laughed,

"Yeah, that’s unlikely. But I do find the idea of having a child intriguing. Because, I mean, you know, that overwhelming feeling of love that you get when you look at the person that you truly love,” he said and looked at me lovingly, “I think that’s a feeling that must be multiplied – or at least just as strong - when you have a child. I think it’s something that ought to be experienced.”

“Well, believe me when I say this, your child will be very lucky to have you two as parents,” Ellen concluded, thanked us for playing along and began presenting our album for a bit of promotion before we played on the set.

"So, are you gonna play 'Adventure Of A Lifetime' acoustically for us now?"

"Yep, we sure are," I smiled because I was going to use Dolly, my new Dobro Resophonic.

"Wonderful!"

—------

“The stage looks so good from here!” I said to Rob a few hours later, looking up at the stage our team of roadies had finished setting up.

We were sitting on the C-stage, at the end of the long runway - what the techs called the B-stage - looking back towards the main one, trying to imagine how it would feel to be here in a few hours. The C-stage gave us the illusion of being out amongst the audience and we'd come to love it.

We were very involved in all the creative decisions so a lot of options were constantly left open. Consequently, the stage was regularly evolving. Thankfully, the staging company we worked with was flexible and responded well under pressure, although they did tell us to bugger off a few times when we suggested what seemed to us very reasonable ideas but was a “no way in hell, that's not possible,” to them.

I took a picture, which I shared on Instagram saying, “Our stage has never looked so good. Back at the Rose Bowl, let’s do this Los Angeles!!!”

“We have an hour to kill, don’t we?” Rob whispered into my ear, “I bet the stage looks even better from the press boxes!”

“Yeah, I’m sure it does,” I said, faking being jaded.

"Well, wouldn't you like to find out?’’

“I’m alright,” I answered with a shrug.

“C’mon,’’ he teased, smiling, "I already have a boner!’’

I giggled,

“You’ve got some weird sexual fantasies.”

He smiled slyly,

"I've got weird sexual fantasies???!"

I simply grinned.

“We got nothing better to do. Let’s do something exciting!”

“Babe, we can have sex wherever you want, just not up there!"

He gazed at me with seductive eyes, and I knew that, despite being ambivalent, there was horniness in mine.

“Why not up there? You’d rather go in the dressing room and stick to what you know?” he teased me playfully.

“Yeah,” I responded, nodding my head, “Must be why I stuck with you for so long,” I joked.

“Oh, really?" he asked in a mock-serious tone, "You mean, it’s not because I’m so hot and fun and you love me so much?”

I shrugged playfully.

“Okay, sexy,” he huffed, pretending to give up “fair enough.”

He was quiet for a short moment,

“Well… I’m gonna go up there anyway,” he said and looked up, “just to enjoy the view.” he slowly stood up, not forgetting to readjust his boner for me to see.

“Qui m’aime me suive!” he announced in French.

“Oh, for crying out loud!” I exclaimed, I watched him walk up the runway for a moment and then finally stood up to follow him.

He smiled as I caught up with him.

“If anybody sees us…”

‘‘Nobody’s gonna see us.”

“Yeah, well, you say that now…”

“Come on, this way,” he gestured as he moved his hand onto my upper back.

We quickly went past a couple of roadies that were working on the left side of the stage,

“Wait, where you going?” one of them asked.

It was John, a fifty-five-year-old roadie who had been working with us for a long time and who, we knew, did his job meticulously.

“Backstage,” Rob answered and we walked faster, almost running, before he could ask us to do whatever it was that he obviously wanted us to do.

“Can you spare some time for me?” John called and we had no choice but to turn around and talk to him.

“Um, sure,” Rob answered reluctantly and I laughed to myself, knowing he was hard and that it was the last thing he wanted to do.

From then on, he began a lesson about our instruments, microphones, screens, apps that we knew would go on and on and on.

“Give me your phone…,” he said into my ear because he knew I had it with me.

“Why?”

"Cuz I’m trying to get us laid.”

He then pretended to receive a phone call and walked away from us so we couldn’t hear distinctly what he was saying. John was nice but he seemed to feel the compulsive need to repeat himself to make sure everything would go as planned. I already knew everything he was telling me and I wasn’t sure why he was saying all of this to me again. It wasn’t as if the stage was anything different at the Bowl. I was getting bored and was now actually really looking forward to fooling around with Rob. After a good five minutes Rob came back and said that Tom needed to see us, which allowed me to slip away from the lesson.

"Fancy a jam before soundcheck?" John asked me.

"Yeah, yeah, count me in! I'll be right back, alright," I told him.

As Rob led the way, I asked, "how are we supposed to get the press boxes without being seen, are they even open?”

He grinned. “I said I wanted to do something exciting, I didn’t say I wanted to do something spontanous. I’ve already made sure we could get inside.”

—–

“Woah,” I exclaimed looking through the bank of sliding windows that ran the length of the press box, “the windows are so clean.”

“I know. It’s almost as if there weren’t any, exciting,” he said sexily, wrapping his arms around me and crushing his lips against my cheek. I turned around to kiss him, his lips were warm and full, and mine were quickly responsive.

“Have I ever told you how fucking hot you are?” he whispered intensely.

“You’ve mentioned it,” I replied through our kisses.

“Have I ever told you how hard you make me?”

I nodded, my teeth playing with his bottom lip.

“Rob,” I began protesting again but I wasn’t quite sure why anymore, maybe to make the moment sexier, “I really don’t think it’s a good idea to fool around here,” I said quietly, although I was struggling to come up with a reason why we couldn’t.

"Why not?” he asked, his tongue darting out then lightly biting my lips, "I’m sure the ghosts won’t mind missing this show,” he joked.

Indeed, despite feeling super inspired in our hotel room, I also felt super horny, but then again, writing music would always get me a bit worked up.

“They can watch tomorrow,” he murmured and started kissing me hard again, his hands sliding up my sides.

He was wearing a red, short-sleeved shirt that had the logo of the band on the front, and my hands quickly moved under it, feeling the hard mounds of his abdomen.

"You mean, they can watch tonight…” I said, wiggling my brows.

“Are you not letting me sleep again tonight?” he jokingly complained.

I giggled,

“I can’t help it, it’s the room. I can’t believe you don’t feel it.”

“Well, I don’t.”

I shrugged,

"You're not connected to your spiritual side," I placed a quick kiss over his lips then added inquisitively, "are you trying to tire me out?"

He laughed,

“Yeah, I’m not sure I want to get fucked in front of a ghost again. That’s too creepy.”

I furrowed my eyebrows,

"But fooling around in here is fine?

He nodded positively.

I chuckled,

“Someone’s gonna know we’re in here,” I said, sounding like I knew I was losing the battle, “I don’t want to get kicked out of the Rose Bowl, imagine the headline!" I joked.

"What’s life without a little bit of risk?” he laughed. "Now whip it out.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but then stopped and gave a slight shrug. My hands moved slowly toward my waist, my eyes locked on his. I unbuckled the belt I was wearing and slowly began unbuttoning my tight, button-fly jeans. With that accomplished, I hooked my thumbs inside my boxer-briefs and began to slide them, along with my jeans, down my thighs, my eyes never leaving his, my lips fixed in a sly grin. He looked down as my cock made its appearance. I wasn’t hard, but the long shaft was already plumped and ready for action.

“I’m guessing you’re a little more excited than you want to let on,” he said with a grin.

“Me?” I said innocently, "Come on, Rob. This isn’t exactly something we haven’t done before."

He gave me a little wink, and I found it hard to keep from giggling. I wanted this moment to be sexy and hot, but it was hard to act erotically with someone I knew so well. Trying to get myself more into character, I looked down at his boner and asked him if that was for me.

"Yeah,” he replied with such a sly look I wished I could have snapped a picture, he was always better at this than I was, "yeah, it’s for you," he said and wrapped his hand around my shaft.

"What do you want me to do with this?” he asked, as if he didn’t know.

I stared intensely into his eyes,

“I want you to suck it.”

He looked at me, slightly shocked to see that I wasn’t smiling. His cool green eyes turned warm and I could tell he liked the fact that it was getting hot,

“Ok. ”

He got down on his knees and lightly pressed his face into the crease where my pelvis met my leg. He kissed my soft skin, feeling my smooth cock against his cheek as he moved lower, his tongue reaching out to lap at my sack. He moved back and forth between my shaved balls, his lips and tongue causing my cock to rise to attention

Then he began licking at the base of my cock, his tongue running up the sides before he made his way up and over it. Rob gasped a bit as he took the head into his mouth, his tongue running around the ridge that separated it from the shaft. My hands began to move through his hair and as he started taking me deeper and deeper, I turned my head around to watch the stage, I was now very turned on by where we were. When I looked back down at him, he was working my cock at a faster pace. God, he drove me crazy. I could have had a million lovers and no one would have turned me on this much. Of that I was positive.

He moved back and forth on my cock quickly, until my short pubes tickled his nose and he began deep-throating me. His technique was, as usual, perfect. He applied a lot of suction and kept my cock buried into his mouth, barely moving back up before going back down. If he was trying the suck the life out of me, he was doing a pretty great job. The pressure of his tongue against my shaft felt amazing and waves of pleasure kept rolling through my body.

“Oh man!” I sighed, "This feels so good. Ohhh.”

For some reason, my moaning made him slid his mouth off of my shaft and he raised himself back to a standing position.

“Did I say you could stop?” I asked and he suddenly looked very innocent.

“No,” he said, trying to catch his breath, “but I don’t want you to cum."

"Oh no?"

“Well, I want you to cum, but not ‘til after I’ve fucked you.”

“Wha… ?”, I looked at him, surprised, “But we can’t,” I said, becoming a bit apprehensive again.

He pulled a small bottle of lube out of his pocket.

"Slut," I laughed.

I stood there looking at it, my jeans now around my ankles, my cock standing at attention below my tight tee.

“But of course if you don’t want to,” he began, not sure if I was maybe not feeling like it.

I took a few deep breaths, looking back and forth between him and the pit of the stadium.

“Are you sure no one can see us?” I asked.

He just stared at me, nodded slightly and smiled mischievously.

“Then fuck it,” I said, getting more and more turned on. "I mean, fuck me."

Rob grinned at me and then he turned a chair around and placed it close the desk beside me.

I quickly took my jeans completely off and Rob squeezed a few drops of lube on his fingers before smearing it on his cock.

"C'mon, turn round babe," he said. I put one knee on the chair and he poured some more lube on his fingers. He brought them between my butt cheeks and I felt the cold liquid teasing my boyhole. His middle finger circled my pucker and he pushed the lubed tip inside me.

Then his hands grabbed my hips firmly and I felt his cockhead against my hole.

"Look out there,” Rob said quietly. "Look at the stage!"

I bent over the shelf-style desk the press would be using later, I laid my forearms on it knowing how I would look to Rob.

“Fuck me but you’re gorgeous,” he breathed as his hands massaged my ass at the same time gently pulling the cheeks apart to expose my eager hole.

My body shuddered as his cockhead pressed harder against my hole. He was teasing me and he knew what he was doing. He began opening me up deliciously and I moaned as more and more of his cock entered me. He took his time feeding his hard-on inside my willing ass, I relaxed wanting to enjoy the feeling of being filled by him.

"Oh, you feel so good, I love how tight you feel. I need to fuck you so bad right now," he said, teasing himself.

"Then what're you waiting for?"

In truth we should have readied ourselves for a real quickie, after all we couldn’t lock the press-box door and we had no idea how long it’d be before the venue staff turned up to ready the room but that wasn’t the mood we were in.

He pulled his dick out for a few seconds then entered me again, pushing a few more inches inside my shute this time and I shuddered again. He felt so good that I reached my hand behind him and grabbed his butt to force more of his dick inside me. Gently, he pulled out again but when he pushed back, he did it all the way. I savoured the feeling and before he started moving he placed his hand under my chin and brought my face to his. I turned a little so that we could kiss. I squeezed his shaft with my hole and he groaned and moaned in my mouth.

“You know what would be frigging brilliant right now?” he asked and immediately answered his own question, “If we could be fucking up here and all the while watching videos of our best performances on those huge screens. I remember the first time we were there to see the crew doing that to make sure everything was set up right. It was freaking brilliant to see you like the audience in the pit does, looking all handsome and perfect and gorgeous. Gave me an instant boner,” he chuckled as he began slowly pistoning in and out.

We began making out again. Rob locked his lips against mine and began fucking me faster and harder. When we broke our liplock, I spoke,

“Yeah that'd be really cool, I could watch you while you fuck me,” he pulled his cock almost completely out and I pushed back against him and felt the head of his cock slide back into me.

My own cock was throbbing and demanding attention but I kept squeezing the base to stop my orgasm building too soon, just in case I might have enough time to fuck Rob. I just kept imagining him sitting on the desk I was leaning on, well more like leaning back against the glass with his ass at the edge and his knees over my shoulders as I pummelled his hole until my jizz filled him.

I felt Rob's hands grip my hips to keep me still and he pistoned into me. He kept hitting my prostate and I groaned in pleasure.

It was when I turned my head and look over my left shoulder to tell him how good it felt and watch the look of lust he always had on his face when he fucked me that it happened.

The double doors to the press-suite were to my left and I was sure I’d glimpsed a fuzzy shadow in the frosted-glass panel of one of them. A person-shaped shadow.

I froze a little and concentrated on what I thought I'd seen.

"What is it?" Rob asked.

I didn't speak for a second and Rob slowed down his thrusts.

"Nothing, I thought I heard something," I said anxiously.

“S’ok, relax, no one's here."

I stopped myself from looking again, "yeah, yeah, no one's here," I said, trying to convince myself that it was true.

Rob slipped into a slow easy rhythm and wasn’t about to stop anyway so I went back to doing what I loved, which was making out with him. We stared into each other's eyes intently as he kept thrusting into me and then I went in for a kiss. I could feel his whole body connect with mine as we made love, from his cock, to his hands and arms, to his lips and tongue.

"I love you baby," he said, verbalizing what we were both thinking.

We kissed some more and when Rob broke off the kiss, I swallowed hard and instead of turning my body to look back at the stage, I suddenly felt the need to look behind us, a strong feeling of being watched overcoming me again.

"Stop looking, no one's there," Rob said and laid his body over my back to keep me down – he’d even pulled off his tee so I could feel his smooth, hard torso pressed to me.

“Rob, I swear there’s somebody out there!"

“Ok but first look out there,” he pointed towards the stage.

I looked to where he was pointing. As if by magic the massive side-screens were filled with images of our gig in Cologne from our last tour, we were playing “In my place”; although it was from our early days, our fans still wanted to hear it and it always went down well because Rob and I would always stay together on the runway and flirt a bit. Before the song ended, the image changed to the one time I'd sung "Ink" for him on stage.

“I loved that moment,” Rob murmured as he nuzzled my neck, his cock still sliding in and out of my ass, faster and harder. I could now feel his ballsack slapping against my skin.

Before I knew it, the image had changed again, we were still in London, the one time we’d played "Every Teardrop is A Waterfall" our coming out song for the first time.

By now I’d forgotten where we were, how vulnerable to being discovered we were, that I’d thought I’d seen someone outside, because I was watching my man on those enormous screens; Now, he was singing our most recent ballad "Amazing Day" on the C-stage and again, I was right next to him, playing it on electric guitar. He was behind me and had wrapped his arm around my shoulders as he sang it to me.

"Ohhh," I moaned. "Fuck, you're driving me crazy."

"So are you," he responded.

Rob’s thrusts were becoming deeper, firmer, the ridge of his cockhead scraping over my prostate more often than not and I felt myself getting closer. I knew Rob's climax wasn’t far away either – about as far away as the song’s crescendo and I wanted to feel him orgasm inside me. Then the music stopped and I looked at the screens, the image came back and now he was leading the crowd as they sang along to “Fix You” and I couldn’t get enough of it.

"Oh yeah, Rob, fuck," I groaned and turned to kiss him again. "Don 't stop, I want you to cum inside me!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, please, I need your cum inside me!"

"Let's cum together," he said as he started going over the edge. "You're ready?"

"I am!

"C'mon blow it baby!" he encouraged.

“Oh fuck!” was the last thing he said before his hot spunk fountained inside me and fireworks filled the screen.

“Oh yeah!” I cried. Rob reached round to fist my pole and jerk me hard and I wasn't able to resist. My orgasm overtook my whole body and I felt my sphincter quiver against his cock.

"Yeah, yeah, that's it, enjoy it," he moaned and kept my shaft pointing straight at my body so that my jizz would shoot on my stomach.

I shuddered and I was so overcome with pleasure that I had to close my eyes to enjoy my orgasm to the fullest and I stopped looking at the screens.

When I stopped jerking, it took me a moment to catch my breath.

“Holy fucking hell!” I gasped eventually, “That’s got to be some of the hottest sex we’ve ever had.”

“Wasn’t it just,” he agreed, as his breathing calmed too.

"Here," he said after he had pulled out of me. He handed me a couple of tissues that he had fortunately taken with him and I used them to wipe the cum already licking out. I was about to use another one to wipe the cum off my chest but Rob stopped me.

"Let me..," he said. He pushed me down on the chair and knelt in front of me. After giving my stomach a few kisses, his tongue began licking my skin and soon, he was slurping up my cum. I expected him to swallow but instead, he raised himself up and gave me a wet kiss, sticking his tongue in my mouth and feeding me my own cum.

"Mmm," I moaned as we kissed.

"It was so good," I said after we'd swallowed.

Rob looked at me in the eye and I looked right back at him. We didn't say anything for a few seconds and then we immediately cracked up. We were soon laughing uncontrollably, Rob wiping away his tears of laughter as we began walking out of the press box.

“Come on babe, time to get back to work.”

“It will never be work,” I smirked, “and now whenever I catch sight of you on the video screens I’m gonna remember this. Instant personal porn,” I giggled just before he pulled open one of the doors.

At that same moment I saw Nick trotting up the last flight of stairs directly facing us across the wide landing.

“Oh hi,” he said, one corner of his mouth lifting in a small smile making that cute dimple pop, he’d stopped short of the top step, “people were starting to ask where you were and I’d heard Rob say he wanted to come up here. I figured you wanted a bit of peace before the madness kicked off so I thought I’d come have a quick peek to see if you did.”

As if to confirm what he’d said both our mobiles chimed, the messages we got from Dylan were identical,

“Where the hell are you? Tom’s getting seriously hacked off. Checks start 20 mins so get your arses back here. Double pronto!”

“On our way.” Rob immediately shot back.

As we’d been dealing with Dylan’s message Nick had been speaking into his radio,

“Yeah, they were already on their way back they’d just been having a wander round the arena I reckon,” I heard him say, “I think they’ve been admiring the view from the press-suite.”

Rob and I couldn’t look at each other,

“So how was it?” Nick asked, “The view.”

I knew I was blushing, for a moment I’d started to think it had been Nick walking past the press-box doors and that he’d sussed what we’d been doing but his nonchalant attitude said otherwise.

“Outstanding!” Rob replied, with a snigger.

Nick walked back through the arena with us,

“Thought I’d best escort them back so they didn’t get lost,” he called to Tom as we approached the stage.

“Well timed,” Dylan put in as he sat at his piano, “let’s do this folks.”

---

When we got to our dressing room after the stage-checks, I immediately talked to Rob about Nick.

“Fuck, the more I think about it, the more I think it was Nick I saw when we were in the press box... I dunno, he was acting all weird with me during the checks..."

"Well that's kind of hot, if it was him...," He gave me a slightly smug sly smile, knowing almost, as he threw himself down beside me on the large comfortable sofa,

“So you’d still like us to, with him?”

"I don't know babe. I think that's just the way he is. He's just a flirt. We're supposed to be working with him for another three months at least and he’s the best frigging tech I’ve ever had," I said shaking my head. " Flirting with him's fun but I don't want to make things weird."

"You know I think you may be right..."

"About what?"

"About him watching us!"

"Did you see him too?" I asked, perplexed.

“Actually,” he gave me another one of those small smiles, “I didn't. But – Who d’you think helped me get the gig films running when they did?”

“Excuse me?"

Rob giggled.

“Remember when you were having that back-line feedback problem at the Philadelphia gig last week? Well while you and Steve were doing battle with the amps, Nick heard me telling Rach that I’d always wanted to see the stage from an arena press-suite. Then Rach went to sort out something for Damon and Nick came over and said to me that he’d do his best to set it up, if I really wanted it to happen, so of-course I said yes. Well he got his head together with Steve and they asked Rach which tracks we’d probably want to see and a few days later he told me they could do it and that it’d be here. The hot sex possibilities quickly became apparent,” he giggled.

“Have I ever told you how absolutely fucking amazing you are?” I smiled, stroking his face.

“Not recently,” he giggled, “by the way happy anniversary. Not a bad way to celebrate the release of "A Message" and moving into our first home together I reckon.”

“Oh my god! Yes, it’s eight years this month since then.” I pulled Rob to me and wrapped my arms around him, “I wonder if I can arrange another celebration for later, you know, for the ghosts!”

“And you had the cheek to call me a slut you tart,” he smiled before my lips touched his.

I laughed.

"And you wanna know something else?"

I raised by brows at him.

"I really think he goes both way!"

“And how the hell did you find that out?” I asked nonchalantly.

“Pretty easily actually. When he told me he and Steve had sorted things for it to happen here I mentioned the coincidence of it being the month we moved to London then I said something about him being on the road for so long must be tough on his marriage and that we were lucky ‘cos of being married to each other so we didn’t need to spend so long apart. And he said that it was him going on the road that helped keep them together because they could, and I quote, pursue their own interests.”

"You're kidding!"

“Nope, he basically implied that he's straight but down the line bi, excusing the pun. He said he never gets emotionally connected to a guy, never wanted a guy-guy relationship. His wife, Liz is the same with gals and apparently, she’s into some different aspects of the fetish stuff so she’s got a couple of female friends with benefits to do that with."

"Fuck!" I exclaimed with wide-opened eyes. "I can't believe he actually told you all that."

Rob nodded, just as surprised.

"Okay...that’s some kind of open marriage they’ve got there, good for them I say... Do you really think he was watching when I thought I'd seen someone?"

"Well, I dunno, but he definitely knew what we were doing!" Rob sniggered.

I just stared at him for a short moment.

"And I'm getting a boner!"