Finding Another Like Me. - 10. Chapter 10

A week…maybe two… I had been sitting on my bed. Not moving, not crying, not watching tv, and maybe not even sleeping. I really didn’t remember. The only times I would get up and move was for the occasional meal and work, because I had to. Even there I wasn’t myself. I barely remember driving there or doing my work. It was kind of like I just did it without thinking. It was like I was watching myself without having control.

The first week there had been calls. Second week there were texts. Probably were facebook messages too but I never bothered to go online. One day he showed up at my house. I had been the only one home so I just acted like no one was home. It was the same message over and over again. “He was sorry. He would never do it again. He lo… liked me so much he never wants to lose me.”

Well he did. I can’t fall into that trap again. I had believed so many people in my life. I had believed people tell me they were sorry and wouldn’t do it again. Well after awhile it just fucking hurts and you can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to see him throw his life away, so maybe losing me will prompt him to make the right decision. In one message he did say he hadn’t changed his mind , but he thought we could work past it.

I moved past it though. I threw myself into school. I walked In the first day of classes and just engrossed myself in work. This was kind of easy because I was a Junior taking three AP courses. This meant missing lunch periods and other horrible school related work…but too a broken hearted teenager it was so great. I didn’t have to go to lunch and be gloomy and have friends like Conor try to get to the bottom of my problems, because they would.

It must have been three weeks of my crazy schedule of avoiding my friends, when I walked to my locker after the last period of the Friday of the week and I saw Conor standing there.

I just looked at him, and said, “Hi.” My voice was very low.

“Hey man! Where have you been the last three weeks! I never see you anymore!” He grabbed me into a hug and then looked at me. “Wait what’s wrong, Kyle?”

I just stared back at him and said nothing. I kind of shook my head, but to Conor it wasn’t convincing.

“Dude are you alright? Is this your first day at school? Is it your schedule?” Conor asked.

“No I have been here the whole time just busy and nothing is wrong.”

“That’s a lie….Is it him?”

My jaw dropped as I stuttered to answer, “What!?! Who!?! What are you talking about?”

He paused then said, “Forget it! But dude are you going tonight?”

“Hmmm what’s tonight?” I hadn’t interacted with people in three weeks so I was sure I didn’t have plans.

“The first school dance!!!“

“Oh….nah I don’t think I am…”

“Stop right there. You’re going dude and I don’t give a shit what you say. We’re getting you some ass tonight. 10 girls schools and just our school, your coming!”

“Nah I don’t want to you know I hate school dances…”

“I don’t give a shit. You need a girl and I’m finding you one! Let’s go your taking me home and then we’ll go to your house and pregame a little.”

“Conor no I got homework…”

“You say that H word I’ll punch you. Your going let’s go!”

He grabbed all the books from my locker and threw them into my bag and grabbed it. He grabbed my arm and started to pull me towards my car.

I hated this. I didn’t need to go. I didn’t want to go. I don’t believe in love or ass anymore I’m still getting over Chris I couldn’t do it.

Well from that point on Conor didn’t let me think anything over. He pushed me around for the next few hours. He picked out my clothes, shoved me in the shower, and basically forced fed me until we left. Once we got back to school it was so crowded. There were hundreds of girls outside waiting to get in. We walked in the guy line and headed straight into the gymnasium.

The lights were off and the music was blaring as the gym started to fill up. Shannon soon came up and grabbed Conor to start dancing with him. As they began to grind up and on each other, I took it as an opportunity to do my usual and walk around the gym instead of trying to get some whore and dance with her. It just wasn’t my type of game.

As I walked around and watched the different groups of kids begin to dance. I watched people begin to kiss and touch each other all over….I flashed back to the first time me and Chris kissed on the beach. How good it felt to touch his lips and be held in his arms. I flashed back to the moment when we had first jerked each other off and then to his birthday…

My eyes began to tear up and I couldn’t stay in that room with all those people. I sped to the cafeteria where they served drinks and snacks. I went and bought a water and slammed myself down into a chair. I put my head in my arms and just laid there. I worked hard on making sure I got rid of the tears so I didn’t get approached by any of my friends.

After a few minutes I lifted my head to see that I wasn’t the only one sitting at the table. There was a blonde girl sitting at the other end of the table about 5 seats away from me. She was beautiful, but seemed to be a little upset. She was skinny and tanned, but didn’t look like she was a push over.

As I looked at her, she looked up and stared into my eyes. Hers were green and had a sense of mystique to them. She smiled at me with a mouth full straight white teeth. I smiled back.

“You okay?” I asked before I even knew what I was saying.

“Yeah. I’m fine I just hate these things. I can’t stand dances because I don’t like meeting guys without getting to know them first.” She paused an smiled. “What about you? You don’t look the happiest.”

I faked a laugh. “Nah. I’m fine. I just hate dances too. My friend forced me to come tonight.”

“Oh is that all?” She put on a questioning look.

“Ehhhh…I also kind of just got out of a relationship a few weeks ago….”

“Oh so your on the rebound. Damn!”

I laughed and decided to lie, “Nah. I’m fine. Why’d you say damn?”

“Well your kind of cute…”

“And your kind of straight forward…but in a good way.” I smiled at her.

She smiled back.

Our conversation continued for the rest of the dance. We didn’t move at all. I learned her name was Lauren and she went to one of the surrounding all-girl schools. As we talked we laughed a lot, because we both found each other really fun.

She was so easy to talk to just like Chr…. Don’t think about that stay focused.

I turned my flirt on for the end the night and as the clock hit 11 and the dance was ending, we both stood up and moved close to each other. She leaned in and gave me a hug and I returned it.

As we broke apart I felt myself talk again without thinking, “Hey Lauren. Can I take you out next weekend on a date?”

She stared me in the eyes as a smile came across her face. “Sure.”

My next move was all instinct and none of me. I leaned in a gave her a kiss on the cheek and then turned away.

As I walked to my car, there was only one thought that was in my head…maybe this could work…just maybe…who am I kidding…..