Finding Another Like Me. - 23. Chapter 23

It was so hard to pull myself from the bed, but I could feel my body telling me I had too go the bathroom. I pushed the white sheet that had ended up over us off my body and slipped out of bed. I reached for my boxers to walk to the bathroom, but realized it was only me and Chris. I smiled and headed to the bathroom as is.

I relieved me thinking about all that was to come for Chris and me. So far the trip was turning out to be amazing. I finished up and headed back to our room. I looked around for my shorts. I found them and pulled out my cell phone. I looked at the time. It read 7:30. We had slept for almost 4 hours!

I turned towards the bed and saw Chris still asleep. He was sprawled out on his side with his right arm laying where my head had rested and right arm next to his chest. His legs were split with a thin white sheet covering just his upper leg and crotch. It was a perfect scene.

I contemplated waking him or just laying back in his arms. We had promised our friends we would meet up with them, but I realized we had all week for that. I walked out and put my phone on the table next to the bed. I carefully slipped back into his arms and covered myself with the sheet.

I heard a groan from behind me and Chris’ arms pull me into him. I felt his breath on my ear, “I love you baby.” I felt him gently kiss my ear.

Chris lifted his head and leaned over my shoulder. “What time is it?”

“About 7:30,” I answered .

“Ugh.” Chris let out a yawn. “Should we get up or stay in bed?”

“I vote stay in bed.” I turned my body, so I was facing him. I moved my face towards his until I felt his lips touch mine.

The phone began to ring.

I flipped over to my back. “Damn it.” Chris laughed.

I reached my right arm out and picked up the receiver. “Hello.”

“Wake up love birds! It’s time for the Margarita Mixer on the pool deck or Dolls Dancing Show in the theater or what ever else. There is so much more we could do,” Deb yelled through the phone. “Come on let’s go! We’ll be at your room in five.”

I put down the phone and groaned.

Those five minutes were the shortest five minutes of my life. Before we knew it, the gang was outside our door ready to go. We quickly threw on the clothes we had on earlier and headed out.

We decided to go to the Margarita Mixer up on the top deck to grab some food and drinks. As we got out of the elevator at the regular pool deck, Deb led the way toward the stairs to the upper pool deck. I looked around at all the people on the lower level. Some were sitting relaxing on the chairs, while their kids played in the pool. Others were eating the food they had gotten from the 24 hour grill on the back of the ship. One group in particular caught my eye in the corner.

It was Paige, Ben, and their group of friends. I made eye contact with Ben from across the deck. It caused me to stop. As I looked into his eyes, I saw something different. His look had gone from pure happiness of the conversation to pain and hurt. I couldn’t break away from looking into his eyes. I thought they would be filled with hatred looking at me, like the way Paige looked at me, but even from this distance I could tell they were different.

I felt a hand grab mine and carefully tug me forward. It broke my gaze. It was Chris. I looked up into his eyes. He had just watched me make eye contact with Ben and I could see that his eyes were filled with pure pain too.

He just turned and began to walk up the stairs holding my hand. I followed. I knew deep down I had to solve this problem. Chris needed Ben in his life and from the look I just saw Ben’s eyes he needed Chris. I had to get them to talk and work everything out.

When we reached the top of the stairs there was a large man in a black suite checking IDs.

“So are you all 18?” the man asked Deb as she and another girl flaunted their IDs.

‘Shit!’ I thought to myself. I’m only 17.

Chris turned and gave me an uh-oh look. Slowly everyone in our group was through besides me and Chris. He handed over his ID and looked at the guy. The guy motioned for him to pass and it was finally my turn. I handed over my ID hoping that the guy would just not notice.

The man looked form my ID to me and then back again at the ID. “I’m sorry. Only 18+ allowed in the Margarita Mixer.” He put out his hand to return my ID.

Chris had turned around and grabbed my hand around the guy. “He’s with me though.”

The guy turned and looked at him. “Sir, I’m sorry. He’s not old enough. He can’t come up.”

Deb stepped in. “He won’t drink. We promise.”

“I’m sorry. I have heard that one before. I can’t.”

Deb looked at Chris and then to the rest of them. Her face dropped a little. “Then I guess we….”

I let go of Chris’ hand. “No way. You guys go. Have a good time. I’ll go grab food at the 24 hour grill and maybe check out more of the ship. Or go swim a little. Or maybe that show you mentioned. Go!”

Deb looked at me. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. I am sure. It’s you guys’ senior trip. Don’t let the 17 year old junior ruin it for you. Trust me. Go!” I turned and started to head down the stairs. I heard footsteps from behind me. I turned.

Chris was following me down the stairs.

“What do you think you are doing?” I asked.

“Coming with you?” He gave me a questioning look.

“Uh-uh. No way! Turn your butt around and go with your friends. This is your senior trip too and I’m not ruining it.”

“But…” He looked sad.

I stepped closer to him. “Chris. Please for me, go enjoy yourself. Have a few margaritas. Mingle! I honestly don’t care and am fine with it. This trip is about us, but also your friends, so please go.”

“Alright.”

“Just one favor. Don’t get too drunk. We all know what happened last time.” I chuckled.

He gave me a sour looking knowing I was referring to our break up. “I won’t. I promise. I’ll just spend like an hour or so up here then I’m coming to meet with you. Sound like a plan?”

“Sure!” I smiled and kissed him goodbye.

I turned and headed down the stairs. I decided I would go for one more little walk around the ship and then grab some food. The ship was very interesting. It had a few things we had missed earlier like a library and a game room (both board and arcade). It also had a lounge and a coffee stand. I was really surprised at how much it really had available.

I eventually felt my stomach begin to growl and decided it was probably a good idea to go get some food. I walked to the back of the ship where the 24 hour grill was. The grill was this long counter with a grill behind it that could be seen behind a plastic shield and another counter for trays. On one side of the grill were all the different toppings they had to offer and on the other side was a fountain drink machine. The choices were: a hamburger, cheeseburger, hotdog, taco, grilled chicken sandwich or fries. I was guessing that the fries came from a deep fryer in the back.

I walked up to the counter and ordered a cheeseburger, fries, and a coke, which came in this fancy Norwegian Cruise Line cup. I was shocked at how quickly it came out. It was like a fast food place.

I turned around to look for a table and noticed Ben sitting staring out the glass window overlooking the water. I knew this was my chance.

I walked over carrying my tray. He had not scene me yet, so I figured that it was good. He wouldn’t have a chance to get up and walk away. I wondered why he wasn’t with the rest of his friends who were still out on the lower deck.

I placed my tray down and sat in the seat. This snapped him out of the trance he was in as he looked at me.

“Ben, can we talk for a second?” I asked.

He just stared at me. It wasn’t a stare of hatred, but a stare of I couldn’t read.

“Okay. Well I guess I’ll talk. Ben I’m sorry for whatever I did to you. I know you hate me and I know you probably wish I never existed or had never met Chris. But I did and I’m sorry, but that’s life.”

He continued to look at me.

“Ben. I never chose this. I never was asked, ‘hey do you want to be gay or straight’ and I picked gay. That never happened. I was born this way, this is me! The same goes for Chris. He didn’t have a choice nor was he manipulated or seduced into being gay. He was it all along; since the day that he was born, and the day you first met him. All along. But all those years you had no clue? It didn’t come up. You didn’t care, so why now is it such a big deal.” I could feel myself becoming teary eyed. “You know Chris. He is an amazing person with such a big heart. He wants to please everyone and loves everyone, including you! Even to this day he gets teary eyed when I mention you. I know for a fact that the day you walked out on us at Winter Formal, he lost a big part of himself. He lost you, his best friend. He loves and misses you Ben and always will.”

I took in a breath and looked at Ben. His stare hadn’t moved, but I could see his eyes beginning to fill with tears.

I continued, “And I know deep down you feel the same way too.”

That was it. He had heard enough. Ben moved and got up and began to walk from the table.

This was my last chance, “Ben you have this week, before life changes for the both of you forever. Don’t lose this opportunity. Please. Just talk to him!”

He stopped in his tracks and turned towards me. He gave me one last look before he turned and continued away from me. I watched him put his hands to his eyes wiping the tears.

I turned to my food. I could feel the tears dripping down my own face. I loved Chris so much. Remembering the pain he has been through since he lost Ben, hurt me. I wiped the tears away from my eyes. I lifted my burger to my mouth and turned to see the ocean. I needed some time to think.