Finding Another Like Me. - 19. Chapter 19

Going back to school after vacation sucks! My teachers were acting crazy, they were loading me with work and I had little time to talk to Chris. It took so much effort not to whip out my cell phone and text him during all my classes

As the week progressed I became more and more anxious for my HawkTalk speech. I spent a little time each night and free period perfecting it. I tried to incorporate everything I was thinking all at once. Only problem was that my first draft was about three pages to long. My second draft was finally shorter, but then I scrapped that completely and wrote it once again from the heart.

I figured it would take forever for the night to come, but next thing I knew I was standing in front of the largest HawkTalk group I had ever seen. The room was filled with every body it possibly could hold. It seemed that the idea of me giving my coming out story to everyone spiked a larger crowd. I’m not really sure how that word got out, but it definitely did.

I clenched my hand my neck and grabbed Chris’ necklace I had borrowed for tonight. I felt like I was the one that needed some protection right now. I whispered a small little prayer.

Mr. Grayson stepped in front of me and cleared his throat. “Good evening guys. I’d like to welcome you all to our weekly HawkTalk. Tonight we have an extremely large number of you, but we are glad to see so much participation.” He stopped for a second and looked over the crowd.

All I could think was how funny it was that Mr. Grayson didn’t realize they weren’t really HawkTalk, they were to hear me out.

“Well, tonight’s topic is ‘Finding Ourselves and Realizing Who We Are,’” Mr. Grayson continued. “To share his story with us regarding this topic is Junior Kyle Kelly.”

There was a small applause as he stepped away and I moved forward. I looked into the crowd. Every eye was on me. I cleared my throat.

“Hi. Like Mr. Grayson said, I’m Kyle Kelly. I’m a junior here and I’m going to talk about how I came to find myself. I don’t know why we all try to hide ourselves. Others try to put pressure on us to be who we are not, but in the end the person we are can’t be hidden. Okay well it can, but that won’t make us happy in the end. I can honestly say that at this point in my life I’m the happiest I have ever been. I’m gay, guys. I realized awhile ago that part of me always wanted to like girls, but as I got older part of me noticed that people’s influence on me was causing this. I realized my mind, my body, and my heart all had a different plan for me. I tried to fight it. I went out with girls. I made myself crazy for some of them, but I think that was more I was just trying to cover myself. This past summer though I put a lot of thought into who I was. I spent a lot of time at the beach and writing stuff that was on my mind. Then one day I was just sitting around people watching, and I met this guy who is absolutely amazing. I’ll save you the details knowing for some of you this may be an uncomfortable topic.” I gave a little chuckle. “But for some of you this might lead you to some self discovery. Through my time with Christopher, who is now my boyfriend, I have been able to overcome a lot. I overcame disappointment, bitchiness, drama, and even being somewhat outed. With each of these events I realized that yeah, it was a negative event, but I could put a positive spin on it. I learned confidence, collectiveness, openness, and honesty. All these are making up this new me….well actually a better way to say it would be the true me. So I encourage you to all listen to your bodies, hearts, and brains and forget what other people are saying and doing, because that might not be you. Be the real you and unlock the happiness you deserve. Thank you.” With those last words I felt a small tear come down my face, but I looked up at the crowd and gave them a smile. They all were looking at me with blank expressions on their faces.

It seemed like an eternity until I saw my friend Harry move and start clapping for me. He stood up and walked over and gave me a huge hug. The rest of my friends all stood up and gave me a hug. I had never felt so much support with all my “school” friends being there for me. I felt our bond change. It took me awhile to realize the whole room had filled with clapping and all the people sitting listen to me had stood up. I was getting a standing ovation.

Wow! That’s all I could think.

The rest of the night went by like a blur. People in thee hallways I had never met approached me and congratulated me and said how strong I was. “Fag” bombs and other homophobic slurs were dropped on me, but I just learned to ignore them. Life really went back to the way it was suppose to be.

About two weeks after giving my talk, Mr. Grayson called me into his office. We had briefly spoken after the meeting and he had given me a hug and congratulated me, but we both had been wicked busy and hadn’t had time to sit down and chat.

“Good morning Mr. Grayson, what’s up?”

“Nothing much. I just wanted to call a brief meeting with you to talk about some things.”

I gulped this kind of worried me. “Oh?”

“Nothing bad.”

“Oh alright then continue.”

“Well first I wanted to ask if how your week’s been since the talk.”

“Figured.” I chuckled. “It’s been fine. Everyone has been pretty supportive. There have been a few comments here and there, but nothing harmful.”

“Okay. Well do you know the kids’ names?”

“Nah Mr. Grayson its no big deal. Trust me.”

“Okay then. Well next as you know today is the social issue day at the school.”

I nodded.

“Well the sophomores are having a presentation on homophobia and I…”

“Mr. Grayson if you need…”

“Nah not that actually its I just wanted to…”

I loud knock broke the conversation. We both turned our heads to see a guy through the window. The guy was tall, probably 6’2 with his hair gelled up and spiked in the front. He wore a white and blue button down striped shirt. He had amazing blue eyes that matched his shirt and a killer smile with white teeth.

Mr. Grayson stood up and went and opened the door. “Brendan! I wasn’t expecting you for another half hour.”

The guy stepped in the room and gave Mr. Grayson a “bro” hug. “Sorry Mr. G I just got here a little early to talk and see the campus. This place is changing.”

Mr. Grayson chuckled. “Yes. You know we always have to be on top. But I’m really glad you are here there is someone I want you to meet.” He turned and faced me.

I broke my gaze from Brendan’s face and stood up and put my hand out. “Hi I’m Kyle."

He grabbed my hand and shook it. “I’m Brendan. Nice to meet you.” He gave me a smile and I returned it.

We all returned to our seats as Brendan pulled up a chair next to mine facing Mr. Grayson at his desk.

“Well, Brendan I wanted to introduce you to Kyle, so you had great timing.” Mr. Grayson. “Kyle, Brendan graduated here the year before you were a Freshman. He’s twenty now and well…”

There was a pause.

“Oh okay I can take a guess with what you want me to fill this in with Mr. G. I’m gay.” He chuckled. “I’m guessing you’re the Kyle who gave the nice little being yourself speech.”

“Yeah.” I smirked.

“Well props to you dude.” He put out his fist for pound.

I pounded him. “Thanks I just felt like it had to be done.”

“Kyle do you have free this period?” Mr. Grayson cut in.

I nodded.

“Anything to do?” Mr. Grayson asked.

“Nah.” I answered.

“Well then will you give me a little reminder tour?” Brendan asked me with a smirk.

“Sure.” I stood up and opened the door and motioned with my hand. “Right this way good sir.”

He laughed and walked through the door.

“Oh Kyle have him back in the theater for his presentation in a half.” Mr. Grayson asked.

“Will do!” I replied and closed the door.

I brought him around to all the different parts of the school. He was really impressed by all the renovations we had done. He saw some of his old teachers and stopped and talked to them. The rest of the tour was filled with questions between both of us like how he got to giving a talk on homophobia and how he had come out his senior year to Mr. Grayson first.

He was a really cool guy and I was bumming when I realized I had to bring him for his presentation. I was shocked when he finally spoke up and asked, “I know this is a little forward and all but you seem like a really cool guy. Any chance we can maybe grab something to eat tonight or this weekend?”

I was shocked that he had just asked me on a date, but quickly recovered so I didn’t offend him, “Brendan I’d love to go out with you and grab some dinner. The only thing is I have a boyfriend, Chris, who I’m absolutely in love with. And it’s nothing against you; I just wanted you to know before hand.”

He looked at me dead in the eyes.

I continued. “But if you wanted to grab food as friends I would have no problem with that. I could always use another friend especially an older gay friend. I can really seem to talk to you do if you still want to?”

He didn’t break the stare. “Obviously Kyle I would. You’re a great kid. I couldn’t help but try. I didn’t want to give up the chance if I had it. Plus it might be for the best you’re a little young for me.” He chuckled.

“Hey!” I yelled.

“Oh shut up. How about we meet tomorrow at TGI Friday’s down the street? Sound like a plan? You can bring your boyfriend if you want too.”

“Sure and thanks I’ll check and see if he wants to. Good luck with your speech. Knock them dead. I got to go the Junior presentation on homelessness anyway. See you tomorrow.”

We shook and hands and he gave me a light man hug. We parted ways.

That night I walked into the restaurant wearing a pair of low loose light blue jeans and a dark blue AE t-shirt. I had a pair of gray aviator sunglasses. I wasn’t trying to impress anyone but I just wanted to look good. As I looked for Brendan, I spotted him sitting at a booth off to the side. I walked over. He wasn’t paying attention.

“Hey stranger” I said.

He turned and smiling looking at me. “Hey cutie.”

I smiled and slid into the booth. “Not funny. What’s up?”

“Nothing waiting for some kid who is a little late.”

I laughed. “Yeah sorry traffic.”

“It’s okay. So is the boyfriend meeting us?”

“Maybe. Not sure yet. He had to meet with his tutor once he got out of the weight room. How’d your speech go today?”

“It went well. They were pretty receptive. You know our schools good about dealing with stuff like that. They don’t haze or shit. But I would have never had the balls to do what you did when I was your age.”

“Well I’m in love. What can I say? Also people kind of already knew there were pictures going around of us kissing put out by his ex girlfriend.”

“Oh wow, sounds dramatic.” He chuckled.

“Yeah it was, but I think it was for the best. It has just made Chris and I stronger. He’s been really active at his school too.”

“Oh I see. So what’s he like?”

“Chris?”

“Yeah. Duh.” He smiled with his white teeth and even his eyes.

“Chris, is amazing. He’s a senior and varsity football captain. He just got accepted to BC on a football scholarship. He is strong and muscled and just awesome.”

“Nice. How long have you guys been together exactly?”

“Umm since like late July early August, but then we broke up for September through November and now we are back together.”

“You guys broke up?”

“Yeah. I broke up with him, because we had a fight at a party and it was before we were out, so I freaked. Then I realized how much I loved him and so I went to make him fall for me again on Thanksgiving. He got hurt. I went to the hospital was crying and freaking. Finally we realized it hurt us to be apart.”

“Awwww.” He joked.

I laughed. “Yeah.”

The next moment my phone began to vibrate and I received a text. “Actually speaking of my lovely boyfriend here he is.” I turned my head to the left and there he was with a huge smile on his face. He slid in next to me at the booth and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. He turned and then faced Brendan.

For a moment, they just seemed to stare at each other. There eyes connected, but no words were spoken on their lips. In a way, it was like a steering contest between two children.

Finally I broke the ice, “Well Brendan this is Chris and Chris this is Brendan.”

A smile broke across both their faces as they shook hands. At this moment, I was excited.

The rest of the night went really well. We ate, laughed, and joked. I couldn’t believe how well they were getting along. Only a few hours ago Brendan was hitting on me and now he was becoming like my boyfriend’s best friend.

As we walked out of the restaurant towards our cars, Brendan turned to Chris and says, “I just want to tell you not to lose this one.” He grabbed me into a bear hug. “He is a great catch. You’re lucky!”

I laughed and so did Chris. He responded to Brendan, “I know. I’m never losing this one again. I love him to much.” He grabbed me from Brendan arms and pulled me into a tighter bear hug.

All I could do was smile. I felt happy to know how much people cared about me.

After Brendan left, Chris and I got into my car so I could drive him home. He fought me for the keys though and decided to drive. For the first few minutes, we sat in silence and just held hands. Finally Chris spoke, “So you know how to pick up the hot guys.” He laughed.

I smiled because I could tell he was joking. “Really?” I teased.

“Oh yeah he’s pretty cute.” He smirked again.

“oh well maybe the three of us can get together.” I smirked.

I looked at him as he focused on driving. He turned his head and slightly smiled, “We talking three some buddy?”

I teased. “Maybe…”

Chris face turned to shocked.

“I’m just kidding. I only want to be with you Chris. There is no sharing!”

He smiled, “Good because I’m one selfish son of a bitch.”

I laughed.

“Oh and by the way I’m telling you this….Valentine’s Day is my day. You got my birthday and Christmas. It’s my turn now!”

“Oh?”

“Yeah so just sit back and relax babe.” He smiled as he leaned over and kissed the back of my hand.