Finding Another Like Me. - 11. Chapter 11

The week went by quick. Had about 6 tests and a million papers so all my time was spent being consumed by that. When Saturday morning rolled around I remembered the date I had set up Shit! It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go out with Lauren it just was…

Well I text Lauren early in the morning and asked her if we were still on for tonight. After she answered yes I just sat around. Around six I started too get ready. I through on a pair of cargo shorts and an AE t shirt. I put on a little Hollister Jake cologne. She text me her address and I started there. She lived in Hightown and I had plugged her address into my GPS and headed to her house.

As I was about two minutes away from her house, I realized where I was. She lived in the same little cul-de-sac as Chris. My mind started to race as I realized this. I didn’t want him to see me. He would think I was stalking him or something. Or he could be hurt if he sees me with Lauren…Shit! But part of me wants to see him. I just want to see his face again. His perfect lips….

I pressed hard down on my gas pedal as I sped towards her house. I quickly hopped out and went to the door. I knocked on the door, talked to her parents quickly, and then rushed her out to the car. As we pulled out of her I saw a black SUV coming towards us. As I started to the main road we passed each other. I slowed and he slowed. I looked out the window and saw Chris staring at me with his mouth open. My heart jerked and I felt tears start to come to my eyes. I turned and faced the road and blasted out of the neighborhood.

It was a few moments before we talked, but she started the conversation, “So you know Chris Thomas?”

I stuttered with my answer, “Yeah…he was my best friend for awhile.”

“Oh….”

“Yeah but let’s get past that. Where do you want to go to eat?”

“Well I was thinking we could go the 99?”

My heart stopped. I couldn’t believe she had just said that. Like right after the moment I just had that was the last pace I wanted to go. “Ummm…”

“If you don’t like it…”

I pulled myself together and cut her off, “Nah it’s fine. Let’s go”

I headed towards the restaurant and the first night I met Chris replayed in my head. I just drove and a conversation started. We learned that we had a few things in common such as she was a cheerleader and due to my family I knew a lot about it. Also we had some mutual friends we didn’t realize.

As we hopped out of my car, I noticed she had dressed to the nines for me. She was wearing a little jean mini skirt with a white polo and her blonde hair straightened. She was a very pretty girl. As we got the hostess booth and she started to take us to our seats, I started to internally freak. She was leading us to the exact same booth Chris and I sat at the first time we met. God this night was getting to crazy.

As we approached the booth I realized I couldn’t hold myself together, so I quickly excused myself to the bathroom and stood at the sink. I could feel the tears running down my face. Why was I feeling this way? We had ended it close to a month ago. I had chose to end it. I guess I ended it not because I didn’t have feelings for him because I could clearly tell I did,. I had ended it just on principal. I had to stick with what I had done though…

I decided to wash my face and suck it up and finish my date. As I splashed the water on myself, I noticed something in the mirror. I was wearing the exact same shirt and cargo shorts as I had been the night I met Chris.

This just made me breakdown again, but I quickly pulled myself together. Maybe tonight had been a sign….Nah!

I walked back out to the table and we began to talk. I had apologized for me walking off. I played it off as I just had to piss really bad. We began talking about everything. Once again it was just really easy to talk to her. We laughed and joked and just had a good time.

Eventually she asked, “So what was your last relationship? The one you were getting over at the dance?”

“Yeah I was with him for like three months…”

“Him?”

“Huh?”

“You just said him. You were with him for three months..”

“What!” I laughed. “I meant her. Sorry” I was shocked I had just made that slip up. I needed to get myself out of it. “Sorry I wasn’t paying attention enough. I was to distracted by HIM.” I pointed to the guy at the bar who was making a complete fool of himself by dancing.

She broke out laughing. “Oh I see.”

“Yeah. Sorry. What about you?” I asked.

“It’s been a few months, but now there is a new guy I like.”

“Oh who?” I was shocked that she was here on a date with me but talking about another guy. But maybe this was my out.

“Can’t tell you. He’s in hearing distance.”

I looked around, but couldn’t see any guys around us.

She started laughing. “It’s you silly!” She grabbed my hand and started rubbing it.

I laughed to go along with it.

The rest of the night we just talked and joked and eventually it was time for me to get her home. As we pulled up in front of her house she thanked me for the night. I said we should do it again sometime and she just looked at me with those eyes. I saw her slowly lean in and so did I. We kissed. It was very brief and there wasn’t much to it. I pulled apart because I felt awkward, but she hadn’t noticed and just continued to get out of the car and say bye.

For the next few weeks we hung out. It led us into November close to Thanksgiving. We would hang out and occasionally hook up and kiss, but never anything more. We never made it official, even though I think she wanted me to. I could never bring myself to because I knew I didn’t like her. I kind of felt bad because I was keeping her more for as a cover or just hook up.

During this time my birthday had passed and Lauren has made a huge effort to plan a little get together with my friends. I hadn’t cared for it much, because like many other days I just thought about him and wished he was the one planning my birthday. He had text me and said Happy Birthday but didn’t respond to my reply. I guess me avoiding him turned into him avoiding me.

A few days before Thanksgiving, my school had our annual school wide semi formal and I had been polite and invited Lauren to go with me. She had gotten all dolled up with a new hot pink dress and her hair and nails done with jewelry to accent everything. She looked amazing. We took pictures at my house with everyone and then went to the dance.

A lot of people I knew were there such as Conor and Shannon. We hung out with them for most of the night. We danced and laughed and joked. After a little while Shannon and Lauren went to the bathroom leaving me and Conor.

“So dude how you liking Lauren? Any better?”

“Ehh I don’t think so. I just don’t think we have that kind of connection. I’m actually thinking I need to end it before she is lead o anymore. I feel really bad.”

“What!?! Tonight do you really think that’s a good idea?”

“I got to man. I don’t like her like that.”

“You still like him. Don’t you?”

“What!!!!”

“Forget it. Here they come. And am I still coming and staying over your house tonight?”

I said yeah as they walked up next to us and grabbed us to started dancing. I tried to put some motivation into but there was truly none there. I felt bad, but I knew I couldn’t do it anymore.

Slowly the last song came on and it was a slow dance. We locked bodies and started to dance. She leaned her head on my shoulder and the slowly started to kiss my neck.

“Lauren. I need to talk to you,” I said.

She looked up at me and said, “Well me first. Kyle I think I falling in love with you.”

My heart dropped. I couldn’t do this but I had to. This just proved it more. “Lauren. Please don’t say that. You know I care a lot about you and you have become one of my closest friends. Its just so easy to be around you, but I think I love you…but only as a friend. I’m so sorry.”

She looked at me and tears started to fill her eyes. She broke away from me and just stared into my eyes. She then turned around and walked right out of the gym.

Last night was devastating. For the second time in a year I had felt shitty as a person. I walked out of my bedroom, stepping over Conor’s sleeping body and headed for the kitchen. The house was quiet which must have meant that the family was out. It was 12 o’clock and we had slept half our Saturday away.

I could not stop thinking about how bad Lauren took it. It took Shannon to get her out of the bathroom and then she didn’t say a word to me or look at me on the way home.

As I plopped myself down on the chair at the island in my kitchen I noticed the paper in the middle of it. I pulled the paper over and looked at the front cover. There was a big picture of the Hightown quarterback throwing a pass on the font page. The headline read , “Local Teen The Best of the Best.”

It was Chris. I could vaguely see his face under the mask. I scanned the rest of the picture and noticed a hint of gold around his neck. It was the chain I had given him. He still wore it….This mesmerized me. I stood there looking at him and this picture and felt the tears come to my eyes.

I must have stared at the picture for a while, because I didn’t even notice Conor come up behind me. He put his hand on my shoulder and watched me stare at Chris’ picture.

Then he spoke, “Go get him back!”

“What?” I broke my stare and looked at him.

“Go get Chris back! It’s obvious you miss him and that he means a lot to you.”

I just looked at him. “I love him.”

“I can see that. Now go get that fucker back.”

I paused. “You knew?”

“Kind of. I always have thought you might be. And plus I saw you and Chris kiss the night you thought I was asleep in bed.”

“Oh…”

“Kyle I don’t care. You’re my best bud. I still love you as a friend. It’s not going to change anything. What makes you happy makes you happy. And Chris is a great kid and I don’t know what happened nor do I want to, because it could make me hate him. Just go get him back!”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Yes it is. You love him right?”

“Yeah. I think so…”

“Then go get him but say it again one more time with some confidence.”

“I love Chris!” I yelled.