A Butterfly's Dream

[S.L. Lewis]

I decided to start a thread before anyone else got to it.

 

A Butterfly's Dream is now up and ready to be talked about. And if you're anything like Jason, discuss on how to ban cliff hangers...

 

Summary: A story about a teenagers path of self discovery and discovering his families dark history.

 

New Link to come eventually.

[BeaStKid]

This is great!

 

CLIFFHANGER!!

 

No, erally, this a strong piece of writing and looks promising enough to grab my attention. I can't wait to see (read) where you take us from here...

 

BeaStKid

(your perpetual stalker )

[Tiff]

Hi Rose!

 

I think this is a great start. I like the opening, where we get to see David's thoughts and what's bothering him. I like that you don't go into a big descriptive speech about his looks, like many authors, including myself, do. You kind of weave in briefly that he's dark haired and left it at that. Subtle is better, less is more, that kinda thing. I'd like to try that in future writings, myself.

 

I agree, this is somewhat of a cliffhanger. Since the chapter isn't long and doesn't go into too much detail and the readers aren't too emotionally attached, it's not a cliffhanger C James style. But it does get the readers interest piqued, definitely enough to keep reading more!

 

I want to know why David is so curious about the girl....interesting.

 

I shall (try) to wait patiently for updates.

 

Great start! Looking forward to more!

[S.L. Lewis]

Hi Rose!

 

I think this is a great start. I like the opening, where we get to see David's thoughts and what's bothering him. I like that you don't go into a big descriptive speech about his looks, like many authors, including myself, do. You kind of weave in briefly that he's dark haired and left it at that. Subtle is better, less is more, that kinda thing. I'd like to try that in future writings, myself.

 

I agree, this is somewhat of a cliffhanger. Since the chapter isn't long and doesn't go into too much detail and the readers aren't too emotionally attached, it's not a cliffhanger C James style. But it does get the readers interest piqued, definitely enough to keep reading more!

 

I want to know why David is so curious about the girl....interesting.

 

I shall (try) to wait patiently for updates.

 

Great start! Looking forward to more!

 

First off, the article appeared after he left the room, just to be clear on that point.

Now, thank you for the review. I try to end the chapter at a certain point so it's a clean break and so you guys don't end up with 19 pages per chapter, so expect most of the chapters to end like this. It makes my life easier and gives me more wiggle room to fgure out what's to happen next chapter and how it's going to happen.

As for the characters, I'm going to hunt down a good artist who is willing to draw all of the characters for my eternal thanks and all the credit for the pictures so that my readers have a picture to put to the discriptions.

I hope that I continue to capture your attention with future chapters. Again, thank you for your reviews.

 

Rose

[Tiff]

Oh dear, am I a bad reader or what?

 

I reread the last paragraph more carefully and realized that, duh, he had already left the room and the article showed up on its own. Perhaps some odd forces are trying to tell him something about this open case.

 

Either way, I have some reading problems. But now rereading it and understand it, it makes the ending that much more interesting. LOL!

[BeaStKid]

Oh dear, am I a bad reader or what?

 

I reread the last paragraph more carefully and realized that, duh, he had already left the room and the article showed up on its own. Perhaps some odd forces are trying to tell him something about this open case.

 

Either way, I have some reading problems. But now rereading it and understand it, it makes the ending that much more interesting. LOL!

It happens with most of us, Tiff...

 

Don't worry...you're not the only one with reading problems..

[GaryK]

I didn't think it was fair of me to review this chapter since I was part of the beta-reading/editing team.

 

However I do think it's alright for me to comment here how much I loved reading what Rose has written so far.

 

Indeed the way she handles her characters is quite unique. It's all very subtle and yet somehow you understand exactly what they look like.

 

Rose, if I might suggest I think sketches of the characters would not be a good idea. It's something best left to the imagination. Some things are better off left for the reader to ponder.

 

The end of the first installment is quite spooky, especially if you understand that it happened after he left the room. When I first read it I had to ask Rose if that's what she really meant. When she confirmed it's what she really meant I got chills all over my body. I can't wait until we all get to find out how that happened.

[S.L. Lewis]

Oh dear, am I a bad reader or what?

 

I reread the last paragraph more carefully and realized that, duh, he had already left the room and the article showed up on its own. Perhaps some odd forces are trying to tell him something about this open case.

 

Either way, I have some reading problems. But now rereading it and understand it, it makes the ending that much more interesting. LOL!

 

 

It's alright dear. We all miss those little things, even me. For that matter, I've gotten to the point that I'll go back over a chapter if I feel like I've missed something, which happens often.

 

As to the pictures, that is going to be FAR into the future, after I've introduced all the characters and the looks are out there. This is for me and so that I have a customized banner for this story at a later time.

 

Alright, now we got that out of the way, Gary, thank you for saying such wonderful things. I enjoy working with you and Jason and I've added a third beta/editor. BK has offered and I accepted. I like having 3 betas/editors that are as good as you guys. Thanks again for your hard work.

[S.L. Lewis]

I really should just edit my last post, but I want to make this easy to find again. Next chapter of 'A Butterfly's Dream' is up. I posted an announcement about it in eFiction forum.

[S.L. Lewis]

Chapters are being posted, really they are. I'll be posting more soon. Promise. Good bye.

[KJames]

Rose, I don't think I've made a comment on your story A Butterfly's Dream, yet. But I will, now. I was actually caught from the start...and the development of the plot through the chapters has been wonderful. The mystery, with the revelation of our protagonist being a coma baby, is thrilling--but more shocking and enticing is the role that our friend, the Gypsy King, is going to reveal in his journaling to your main character.

 

All in all, another great story!

[S.L. Lewis]

Rose, I don't think I've made a comment on your story A Butterfly's Dream, yet. But I will, now. I was actually caught from the start...and the development of the plot through the chapters has been wonderful. The mystery, with the revelation of our protagonist being a coma baby, is thrilling--but more shocking and enticing is the role that our friend, the Gypsy King, is going to reveal in his journaling to your main character.

 

All in all, another great story!

 

*sniffles happily* Oh gods, so many good things happened today. I get such sweet reviews and happy b-days. *sniffles again*

 

But I'm glad you like it. The actual journal will be a few chapters in and of themselves but I need to do some research, again, since I kinda lost all my notes and links when I had to reformat my computer. *grumbles*

 

And to be honest, I didn't really know if I wanted David to be a coma baby or not, but finally came to a decision with chapter 10 and I'm glad that it's well received.

 

Personally, I just hope I'm not lynched for what I'm going to do to Clary. *shivers* I'm thinking of starting the next chapter and setting that up for you guys. Here's hoping. *crosses fingers*

 

But again, thank you for the review! It makes me happy and sniffly! *hugs*

 

I blame my current babbly mood on the drinks that I've been working on for the last 3 hours.

 

Rose Strailo

[KJames]

Personally, I just hope I'm not lynched for what I'm going to do to Clary. *shivers* I'm thinking of starting the next chapter and setting that up for you guys. Here's hoping. *crosses fingers*

 

But again, thank you for the review! It makes me happy and sniffly! *hugs*

 

Rose, I like the story, I also like the Clary character--perhaps there's some way to get him through it and recover if he's physically hurt?

[S.L. Lewis]

Rose, I like the story, I also like the Clary character--perhaps there's some way to get him through it and recover if he's physically hurt?

 

Unfortunatly...it wouldn't work with how I need the story to go and how I've set it up so far...*pouts* He will still play a good sized part in the main story line, no worries about that, but what I've got planned kinda needs to happen. I think people will like the ending that I have written out...*blushes*

[S.L. Lewis]

To all those who read A Butterfly's Dream:

 

I hate to say this but this story is on a somewhat hold. At least for posting.

 

I am STILL writing this story, don't worries about it. For further information, please go read my blog. I should have something up about this in the next few minutes (from the time stamp on this post).

 

Thank you for your patience and I hope you have a good day.

[S.L. Lewis]

This will be edited once I start posting the edited chapters. Thank you.

 

Okay, so we all love this story, or so I've been told.

 

But, I'm having a problem with this story and the way I'm writing it. I can't do PRESENT tense any more. I just can't. It drives me up a wall and makes me twitch.

 

So I'm going to go back and rewrite all the chapters into past tense. Please, I hope you continue to read and review and watch it as I go along and I thank you for your patience. I really do.