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Life changing day

Andrew Q Gordon

Entry posted by Andrew Q Gordon

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Amidst the snow and ice coming down on Wednesday, Mike and I got an email, followed quickly by a call from us to the clinic. The pregnancy was confirmed and they now gave us a schedule and a due date - our life changing day - Sept. 29, 2011.

 

First thing, that date seems AWFUL soon to me - much too soon - but then I learned the 40 weeks we were expecting is from the date a woman's cycle begins, not conception - 40 weeks is really deceptive advertising if you ask me. Then if there are twins - and despite everyone wishing multiple babies on me, there is no guarantee it will be twins or more at this point - the due day would be sooner. Basically we have 8 months tops to get ready - I will never get Mike ready by then, no way.

 

Of course I was thinking we had until mid to late Oct so I had to call to find out why the shortened time. We had a lot still to do - hell as much as we have been planning we were also holding off on doing things - okay a lot of thing - so as to not jinx ourselves; nothing worse than a room full of baby stuff and we don't have a baby right? This time we spoke to the head nurse, who has always been extremely patient with us and our questions. She told us that yes the levels are high and yes the Doctor said twins but she was just the nurse and she wasn't going to say it was twins. [Yeah her!!]

 

For those that understand this stuff - and I am reluctantly becoming one of them - the surrogate’s HcG level - this is the hormone that is produced in waves during the first 10 weeks of pregnancy - was 665 at 14 days after embryo transfer. To put that number in perspective - my co-worker who just had a baby had her levels tested at about 4 weeks after conception and her level was 400. Supposedly the level of HcG doubles every 2 days for a while so the surrogate’s level was pretty high. On Wednesday when a second blood test was done, it was 1425 which was more than double.

 

We asked what this really means - let me say here, that the Dr. has always been extremely caution and conservative in his comments. Even before the transfer, which has a very high rate of success and after he told us that everything went as well as it could medically go, he still was cautioning us that we might not get pregnant. SO when he kept saying twins, this made me worried he was correct. In contrast, the Nurse said a bit more reserved. She advised that it could be twins, it could be two embryos, but that one might not make it, or it could be one really well established pregnancy. [she may have said it could be more than twins, but we didn't really follow up on that - we are still just hoping for one right now] Of course when I mentioned the doctor's track record of not promising things, she tried to deflect us away from that - but not that strenuously.

 

What we did learn that is that because this is an Embryo transfer, we should be able to find out if there is a heartbeat(s) at the first ultrasound in about 2 weeks - 2/9/11 to be exact. As it was explained to us, because they place the embryos in the best location for maximum success, they also have better ability to detect a heartbeat sooner. 12 days until confirmation I suppose.

 

But lest I be all one sided and not tell both sides of things. The finance people took great pains to explain there were additional costs for the second Ultra Sound if there were twins or more. Something about needing to measure more than one fetus and that costing so much extra per additional fetus.

 

In the end we just don't know but everyone seems to be preparing us for the possibility of twins. [or more] Either way, right now I am too excited to care - yeah a part of me knows twins will be more than just twice the work, but still.

 

Next up, we are going to start setting up the baby room. The furniture we got this past weekend is in the basement and we don't want it to get ruined. At this point I suppose we need to keep thinking positively so by 9/29/11, it is ready. Wish us luck, we are SO going to need it. LOL

 

 

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AnytaSunday

AnytaSunday 1,016

Posted

OMG, at this stage of writing it looks like I'm the first to reply. FINALLY, LOL!

 

hehe.

 

Yeah, Life changing. Perfect title for this post, because that's what it is. Nothing will ever compare to this. Welcome to the start of this most amazing adventure.

 

I can't wait to see the uploaded ultrasound pics--if you put any up! Oh, and the babies heartbeat--I think it was the first time I saw my husband cry (also same day we learned I was preggie). It's an amazing moment.

 

Again, I cannot say how much I'm happy for you and Mike. Mike will be fine!

 

Hehe, I can't wait to see your family! :P

 

Also, be prepared the babies might come earlier. :)

  • Like 1
methodwriter85

methodwriter85 5,499

Posted

It'd be cool if the babies came on the 10th anniversary of 9/11.

  • Like 1
Andrew Q Gordon

Andrew Q Gordon 9,368

Posted

Anyta: I don't cry - :funny: Ok say maybe I might but I think it won't happen until the baby(s) are born - no betting pool please :P

 

Yes, I have been told repeatedly that I should expect they could be early, especially if there are twins.That's why I think I said we have at most 8 months left.

 

Pictures will go up, eventually, not going to promise I will put up ones of the ultra sounds and what not. Might stick post birth only from now on.

 

Method: I'm not sure I want them to be born on 9/11 - everyone is so somber that day, especially around here. BUT whatever day he, she, they come I won't complain, it won't be close to my birthday -_-

  • Like 1
TetRefine

TetRefine 2,617

Posted

The advances of modern medical science can do wonders. Congrats Andy and good luck!

  • Like 1
AnytaSunday

AnytaSunday 1,016

Posted

BUT whatever day he, she, they come I won't complain, it won't be close to my birthday sleep.gif

 

LOL!!!

 

Hey, if it's after the 22 that they come, they'll be born in your favorite season. The red and golden leaves will rustle in their congratulations. :P

  • Like 1
Nephylim

Nephylim 15,053

Posted

This is the most wonderful news and I am so happy for both of you. One small thing I would caution against. Don't ever start talking in precise numbers with babies, especially numbers like dates... babies do their own sweet thing especially when it comes to being born. Things like levels, size, weight, head circumferance and that stuff can mean something and one thing they can mean is diddly squat. Don't freak when nothing is as you expect it to be... just get used to it becasue that is exactly how it is going to be when they are born

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Cia

Cia 59,527

Posted

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Dates are definitely hard to pinpoint. I was initially due with my son mid-september. Then I had an ultrasound at 10 weeks and they said, oh no, you're 12 weeks along. I said, No way! Not possible (he was a very planned child) and my doctor shrugged and said well then you have a baby that implanted and starting growing right away. Then due to problems I ended up having him July 29th. So yeah... even after the first ultrasound I had him 5 weeks early from that due date. See, all babies grow about the same rate in the first trimester so when they measure the fetus from crown to rump they get a good indicator of how 'old' they are ;) Any ultrasounds before you get at least that measurement are not to be taken as set in stone, if ever, like 10% of women have their babies on their due dates. Also, if you get pics of the ultrasound and it's a 4-5 week one don't be surprised if you don't even see a 'bean' shaped baby yet. Often those early on ones look like a ball with a pulsing spot inside, the lovely heartbeat.

 

My niece was born to a military family on 9-11 this last year and it actually meant something very good to them. Something to celebrate that is a reminder that the joys in life goes on, even if people we value do not. The twin thing... extremely hard to know until those ultrasounds and you get past the first trimester. My twin brothers are identicals so they split off from one egg and were born just fine, at term no less, the same with my dad. I have another sister who was initially a twin as seen on an early ultrasound but the other embryo did not make it past the first trimester. Right now you are a parent to be and now subject to the rollercoaster we all live on.

 

Kids keep you guessing from the second you decide to try to have them, through all the perils and joys of conception,pregnancy, and childhood. Your days of being certain are OVER! Welcome to the theme park of parenthood. We'll go over the 50 million things you MIGHT sometime need that you stuff the diaperbag/backpack with in a few months. Oh, and remember, breathe!

  • Like 1
Lugh

Lugh 2,215

Posted

passes over the paper bag for hyperventalating Mike, and a pillow, so he don't bang his head too much.

 

you will be fine.

 

keep telling yourself that. just repeat it over and over, post it on your mirror if necessary and make mike say it too.

 

everything will be fine.

 

repeat it, believe it. live it. there is nothing you can do about most of the messes a kid will get you into but smile and clean it up. twins... double that.

 

this too shall pass.

 

they grow up quickly and by the time they are learning to ride a bike you are wondering when they stopped wearing diapers. then they are off to school and having sleepovers and leaving you for overnighters and asking for the car keys.

 

cherish every moment. take lots of pictures. make lots of memories.

 

start now. make a baby book starting with "this is how we looked when we found out about you" "this is what your room looked like before it was a nursery" kids want to know the strangest things when they are six, eight, twelve... journal some of those feelings in "letters to baby", one day your little one will cherish them when they are thinking about becoming a parent.

 

and most of all... enjoy this time together with mike. take a vacation (some people call this the babycation) sometime in may or june even if it's just a weekend getaway. and breathe. just breathe. whatever happens at this point will happen -- the bun's already in the oven and the milk's spilt.

  • Like 2
MikeL

MikeL 2,841

Posted

Twins! Can you say instant family? I'm sure Mike will do just fine. Probably you too.

 

You do know that children add to the complexity of relationships. Right now there's you and Mike; that's one relationship. Add one baby and you have three relationships. Add two babies and you have six relationships. Don't worry. We had four children...no twins...and we survived. Of course, I never had time to figure out how many relationships that was.

  • Like 1
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wildone

wildone 18,259

Posted

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Wow :o September 29th due date, 5 days after my birthday, if they are lets say five days early, would you consider naming one Steve :P ? Even if they are girls? After all Johnny Cash sang 'A boy named Sue' :D

 

No matter what, one, two, three, four, five....you two will make great Dads. I'm still so happy for you both :)

  • Like 1
Bumblebee

Bumblebee 396

Posted

*marks September 29th on my calender*

 

Take Lugh's advice, and just keep a camera with you at all times to make a baby book :D

Good Luck and have fun having 1 or 12 kids :)

  • Like 1
Andrew Q Gordon

Andrew Q Gordon 9,368

Posted

Matt: See, with medical advances making advances so rapidly, there is still hope that by the time you are my age you can get Cammy pregnant (or he you) and have your own kids - :P. Or you could try a less extreme method. LOL Thanks Matt.

 

Nephy: Thanks my dear. Yeah, I am not counting any date as being hard and fast other than to expect it won't be what we expect. Still it is very exciting for us both.

 

Cia: Well in this case we know EXACTLY when the embryo's were created etc so we know all that jazz with certainty, which is probably ALL we know for sure, or will know for sure going forward. I don't have any expectations other than expect the unexpected. Just give me a rough idea, let me do the math backward so we can plan one last hurrah and not risk the birth happening when we are in Italy or something, then batten down the hatches and start to get ready in earnest.

 

50 million? Are you sure? I mean that sounds a bit light, you must not want to scare me. B)

 

Lugh: With the miracle of digital this and electronic that, we have already begun to video, photo, store and sort stuff. I like the idea of a letter to the baby(s) might have to get on that soon. As for vacation, yeah I am planning one of those that Mike doesn't know about yet. I am trying to get a better feel on when MD will pass it's marriage law. If not I am going to do it in DC then go away before the baby is born. It will be a nice one, probably use up the last of the money my grandmothers left me but I think this is what they would have wanted me to use it for, they both said 'no bills, something fun that you will always remind you of me.' or something like that. Pictures to follow.

 

Mike: Never quite thought of things that way but the dynamics of the family are going to change no doubt about it. Sadly Mike is one of those people who likes to know things in advance to plan as much as possible. I am a bit more, meh, let's see what happens, but I find myself really wanting to know NOW. LOL. Ah lessons in patience.

Steve: We would need a bunch of kids for us to use Steve, that and that is already a family name of someone other than a parent or grandparent and the family is funny about having two of the same name. and perhaps most important, I don't want the Steven in our family to think I named my kid after him, he would SO think that too, then again, it would be fun to say, 'No we named him after some other Steve that we like a whole lot more than you.' :P Thanks for the note :)

 

Bee: Haha Bee, mark it in pencil cause as everyone keeps saying it probably won't be the 29th of Sept LOL.

JamesSavik

JamesSavik 24,831

Posted

I'm thinking four is a nice round number. :music:

  • Like 1
Phantom

Phantom 198

Posted

As my mom has said to my cousin (who just had a beautiful baby girl) no matter how many books you read, classes you go to, people you listen to, you will never be 100% ready. She even said that after me she thought she was ready with my sister, which turns out she wasn't haha.

 

You're gonna be a great dad, and so will Mike.

 

Like the others have said, always carry around a camera, even a cellphone camera works wonders! Be ready to be up at weird hours, and be ready to learn the difference in their cries, my cousin is finding that out (one cry for poop, one cry for hunger, one cry to torture mommy as she's been saying).

 

Best wishes and warm feelings your way. I love this blog, it's filled with so much goodness :D

 

Eric

  • Like 1
arl215

arl215 7

Posted

Congratulations and all the luck in the world!!!!!:2thumbs:

  • Like 1
Andrew Q Gordon

Andrew Q Gordon 9,368

Posted

James: 4?!?! :blink: I swear if we have 3 or more, I am going to get my own reality show - either that or I might need to sell one or more of the on eBay. Thanks James. :)

 

Eric: Thanks - you mom is so right. I have given up on the idea I will be ready when they arrive [Yeah I am resigned that it will likely be more than one]. My goal is to just deal with it as it happens - and get lots of Valium for Mike. He is still holding onto the idea he can keep the house neat and clean. His rude awakening is coming. LOL

 

Arl: Thank - we might need it :P

Sara Alva

Sara Alva 1,693

Posted

I'd watch that reality show, so long as you promise not to break up the family and start splashing yourselves all over the tabloids . . . on second thought maybe better to stay out of the limelight :P

 

Wishing you the best of continued luck :)

  • Like 1
Frostina

Frostina 902

Posted

Congrats.. :D again!! :P rooting for twins.. :P and the utrasound pics of the kid(s).. :) hee hee... thumbsupsmileyanim.gif

 

All the best to mike too in his endeavor to keep the house neat and clean when the baby(babies) come along.. :P Have fun till the date.. and read up.. :Pread.gif

  • Like 1

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